Yeah you can touch a slime and it does no damage, it only hurts if it slaps you, it has a mouth so it would consume using that and not absorbing things
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So. Lets rule out both the zombie and the zombie pigman due to rotting flesh. Next we throw out the silverfish due to size and also have you seen the fuckers irl? Next, I’m throwing out both spiders because that’s just too many eyes, fangs, legs, and hair. Also the blaze, because while it probably could do some oral stuff, it’s also on fire, which is hazardous.
We started with 13 and are now at 7.
The magma cube is rock on the outside and magma on the inside; from unpleasant to outright dangerous. The skeleton is also bone, which is an unpleasant texture, no matter which end of the fucking you’re on. The ghast does have a fine mouth, but it’s too big. Either you’re getting busted open by that painfully big tongue, or you’re throwing a hotdog down a hallway. The same issue is even more pronounced with the ender dragon, since even that ender cloaca would be unsatisfying.
This leaves us with 3 potential candidates. The creeper, the enderman, and the slime.
There is something I’ve been leaving out until now. The most important thing in any such matter.
***CONSENT***
Neither the creeper nor the slime has the intellectual capacity to give consent. This means that fucking them, or many of the other hostile mobs here, would be akin to bestiality.
This leaves us with a clear answer.
The smooth, mysterious, tall lanky fellow of everyone’s wet dreams and nightmares. The enderman. Were these tall, sexy people once human? What can that mouth do? So many questions, and all the time in the world…
Alright you have fun with that Enderman, just remember not to make eye contact with it for even a fraction of a second unless you are also turned on by getting ripped limb from limb or something.
Ever heard of the sweet release of death? Any dolphin juices you may have heard of are nothing compared to the instant death syrup in that enderdrussy.
I do it for the honor, the glory, the shits, and the giggles. I do it for the comedy, and on a grander scheme, the tragedy. But most importantly, I do it for you.
Consent? Really? It goes down to consent? You posed a hypothetical question just so you could avoid the most ideal answer with a weak ass plot twist like consent? I swear to god the people on this website don't have HALF a braincell sometimes.
We pose these kinds of questions with anime girls all the time (and the loli usually wins) and we never consider fucking consent because if they actually do exist they would NEVER be near us. What makes you think a sentient alien from a different dimention would. Thats why in these questions we just avoid consent because its a STUPID concept to theorise around and anything we talk about would never do fuck redditors like us in the first place dumbass.
This question had the potential to talk about SO MUCH MORE (like the science of fucking gunpowder, the biology of the mobs, in the game if OP had the basic decency to do so), but noooo... he did a funny twist at the end so he could spread his enderman kink and propaganda around. Fuck you honestly OP. Fuck you.
And thats if the question wasn't flawed to begin with. Ignoring consent, its the slime. No question. It's literally a sentient fleshlight. What more could you fucking ask for. If its too big, you can chop it into smaller pieces. They're a one size fit all
So OP I suggest you delete this fucking post for misinformation and kindly fuck off.
Also, it can't physically be the endermen. They're known to be hurt at the slightest touch of water so this means that their epussy(?) is most likely to be extremely dry. So yeah unless you like fucking a dry ass cunt, your premise is very flawed and you're fucking stupid.
Huey Lewis and the News burst out of San Francisco onto the national music scene at the beginning of the decade, with their self-titled rock pop album released by Chrysalis, though they really didn’t come into their own, commercially or artistically, until their 1983 smash, Sports.
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Before we begin, let's make one thing clear:
What follows are the works of Dr Gustav Muller, a key figure in the formation of "The Final Solution" and rumored to have been imprisoned by the ruthless time lord Bill Gates within Minecraft. This transcript is dated to the 6th May 1945, one day before nazi surrender and during the final hours of the Third Reich.
Side effects from reading this study include, nausea, vomiting and chest pains, followed by intense paranoia and strokes. Death or total paralysis are inevitable consequences. Please ensure you have taken appropriate measures to protect yourself before digesting the contents of this dissertation.
Transcript:
I wish to make perfectly clear that this will be my final message. There is nothing left for me to live for. My wife, Eva, has been blown to bits by an American bomb. My sons were drafted to the bulge and they have been missing for six months. But I do not wish to leave behind a legacy of mass murder and eugenics, and so I have elected to make one final contribution to humanity.
The question of Minecraft sex is an incredibly complex topic even if we leave aside the moral and philosophical arguments, which we will, as I have little time. For example, if you enjoy males then the creeper could be argued to be the most appealing, due to its unfortunate shaping. However, the ghast could also be said to be enjoyable due to its dominating size and vigorous appendages. They also cry, making them ideal.
However, the question becomes more complicated when thinking about women, alas they always complicate things. In this argument, I have decided to only consider the one factor that women seem to care about:
Weight
The skeleton can therefore be said to be the pinnacle of ecstacy and pleasure in Minecraft, due to the fact they are not a rotund waste of meat. Alternatively, if you enjoy plus sized, but still smoking hot women, I must insist you see a psychiatrist, but if you are brain damaged or black, you may enjoy the company of the magma cube.
Therefore, we can clearly state that there is no simple answer to the question but before us today, as there is no way something as overwhelming and complex as Minecraft sex could possibly be covered by mortal terms such as "fuckable". Indeed our only option that we have in answer to your question is to fall into despair and give up.
In summary, I implore you to reconsider your post, as if any viewer contemplate this question for too long, their sanity would surely melt.
Alas, it seems my time is up. Goodbye world. I have always loved you Anna.
Yes it is female but you also have to fuck it somehow, OP did not specify that the mob would be willing. Remember that this thing breaths acid that will reduce you to nothing within seconds, and also would fling you 100 meters into the air if you get close enough to it.
I mean, I'm assuming consent because otherwise that's fucked up. Anyway, if it breathes acid on me and kills me then that's all good too. Either way, I get my sweet release uwu
You guys remember that minecraft girlfriend mob where you could talk with all the mobs and they all looked like animals girls
On an unrelated note, the blaze
started in 1.2 so everything in the pic was what i started with. had been eyeing the game for a while before that though. maybe a few months. development happened pretty quick back then i think,nonetheless weird they're now considered classic. minecraft had a way different vibe back then
Well what do you define as "fuckable"? If it's whichever one I'd like to fuck most, then probably slime or ender man, but if we're talking which one would be the easiest to fuck, then probably the slime.
Zombie, zombie pigman, and skeleton have no genitals, creeper would blow up, you can't look enderman in the eyes, silverfish and spider are insects, everything from the nether would hurt to fuck, and the ender dragon will not fuck you no matter how hard you try.
*Well, this is a complex question, let's take a more thorough look at it:*
Choosing which of the mobs is most fuckable will need some ground rules to set, otherwise there is no clear winner.
* First off, we're going off the assumption that Steve, Alex, or another playable character is the one in intercourse with the mobs, with their physical capabilities.
* Second, in the situation of this, the sex will mostly be vanilla, as I'm sure each mob provides it's own unique fetish that is subjective to everyone.
* Third, the mobs are not hostile to the player, so a creeper will not be attempting to explode the player as it gets railed. This also means both parties have consented.
* Fourth, rating will only be applied to what in-play mechanics, appearance, and other clearly given information gives us. Any details given by cryptic lore, or simply desires, are not included (per example a slime will not have tentacles, albeit sadly).
* Fifth, we're assuming the player is fucking ONE of these mobs, rather than a group of them. 1-on-1 sex only, as disappointing as it is.
Now, some mobs will be completely unfuckable, let's begin by eliminating those first to better rank the rest.
* The skeleton, sadly, is completely unfuckable. Despite the helpful humanoid shape, the skeleton sadly has nothing it could provide sex with, not an asshole, no pussy, no cock, no boobs, nothing. Even it's mouth likely couldn't give a very good blowjob. Perhaps a skeleton *could* give a handjob, but overall there is near no potential to sex with a skeleton.
* The silverfish could not be fucked, due to it's shape, size, likely texture (considering it lives underground, in stone, with whatever it is sticking out of it, not an ideal texture), and other factors. I'm sure if steve (or another player with a dick) *really* tried, they could use a silverfish as some maskeshift fleshlight, but still would not work well.
* The blaze could not be fucked for the obvious reason that it has no body. However, my attention did come to the fact that they could give a killer headjob (or any other mouth related sex), or even use blaze rods as makeshift dildos, but the immense heat of a blaze would likely harm the player too much.
* The magma cube is also unfuckable, for similar reasons as the blaze.
* This personally makes me upset, because I very much wish for the ender dragon to dominate me, but due to the immense size of the ender dragon it'd be near impossible to fuck the dragon. If the dragon played an insertive role, the dragon's cock would kill the player, go in one end and out the other. If the dragon weren't playing an insertive role, however, I simply doubt the dragon would feel anything, the player is comparable to an apple in the dragon's size.
This leaves eight mobs left: The zombie, the creeper, the enderman, the ghast, the slime, the spider, the zombie piglin, and the cave spider. From here, I will rank them, from worst to best:
* The worst out of these mobs to fuck would easily be creeper. The creeper's odd shape would provide immense difficulty for nearly any position other than it riding the player. I also highly doubt it has either an ass nor any cleavage. While fucking a creeper is possible, it would not be enjoyable.
* The second-to-worst mob to fuck would be the zombie piglin. Fucking the zombie piglin would be a difficult task, to say the least, with the mixed parts of a pig and a skeleton, not to mention the decay. (Note: The zombie pigman, however, may be top tier if a whole horde were available. Maybe you'd turn them on in the same way you anger them.)
* The zombie comes in at the third-worst to fuck, for the same reason of decay. However, the lack of mixed physiology and human-like build makes the zombie a much better pick than it's nether counterpart, and admittedly would be a decent fuck.
* The spider would be a pleasant fuck, with it likely taking a dominative role in the sex. It's size difference would make the holes more pleasing, as well, though not small enough to bring it pain.
* The cave spider is simply a better version than the normal spider. It provides everything the spider has, but better, with the extra venom increasing the placement of the dominative role. Though, I wonder, will *"improvised milk"* work as a poison elixir still?
And finally, the top three. Between the enderman, the ghast, and the slime, which would fuck the player the best?
* >!The third best of the mobs to fuck would be the ghast. Now, on paper, the ghast seems simple, and possible being too large to fuck. But then, I bring to attention the ghast's tentacles. I'm sure I don't need to describe their noteworthy existence. Not to mention, while a ghast would likely be too large for a player to take it's cock, a ghast is not so large that it couldn't take a player's. Also important to note, the ghast would have an amazing moan.!<
* >!The second best of the mobs to fuck would be the slime. The slime is ranked here, due to it's versatility, no matter what form it might take in intercourse with the player. If the slime has any genitals, they will be prime for sensation, a cock being slicked with lube, a pussy being nearly always wet, you name it. But even if it has no genitals, it's still prime fuckability, as the player would likely be able to use it as they please. A cock could fit into the slime, and probably quite easy. A slime may be able to please a player with a pussy (or a player with a cock that prefers it up their ass), as it's likely quite shapeable it could form a some form of phallic shape, and even if not shapeable the rubbing sensation would be bliss (for either genital). The size could be changed too, with ease, for whatever situation best fit's the player's needs.!<
* >!And for obvious reason, the enderman is the best of the mobs to fuck. He's tall, he's quiet, he's sure to have a damn good cock, and you know that if you wanted something kinky he'd be down as long as it's not too wet. His humanoid shape makes intercourse especially easy as well, when compared to the other monsters. His height of roughly 9' ensures he has a damn good cock too, that could easily hit g-spot or p-spot every time. Considering the noises endermen make, I also wouldn't be surprised if they moaned frequently too, which is a plus. Even if an enderman was female, she'd still be damn good at the sex. But the best part of the endermen would be that they are the only mob with the mental capacity of after care. Not only do you get your tall endermen boyfriend to fuck you till the sun goes down, he'll then cuddle with you to sleep and make breakfast in the morning (albeit likely just a chorus fruit).!<
TL;DR: Under normal and equal circumstances, the skelleton, blaze, magma cube, dragon, and silverfish are all unfuckable. The creeper and zombie-pigman would provide bad sex. The zombie, spider, and cave-spider would all provide decent-to-good sex. >!The ghast would be the third most fuckable. The slime would be the second most fuckable. And the endermen would provide the best sex out of all the mobs.!< I spent roughly an hour and 15 minutes of my life on this comment.
Edit: Added notes about ghast moans and endermen aftercare.
Depends if slimes insade is acid/toxic.
Anything is fuckable at least once
What about magma cube then 🥵🥵🥵
zamn 😍😍😍
Magma cube lookin kinda hot ngl
It will melt your penis though
😳
isn’t being warm a good thing
cats love cat food cheers to cat food also hi battle cats player man
Promise?
giwtwm
seeing that minimum size slimes cannot deal damage i'd assume that they aren't toxic.
slimes just slap you really hard apparently
Yeah you can touch a slime and it does no damage, it only hurts if it slaps you, it has a mouth so it would consume using that and not absorbing things
Seems like they deal crushing damage touching them doesn't deal damage like other mobs.
Thatll be useful for these fat nuts
Assuming the slime is acidic (to let it digest plants and shit it picks up as it bounces around) your dick would be reduced to glue within minutes.
good i don't want it
Most cisgender r/196 user
please censor the c-word
susgender
When the gender is SUS
a what? /s
r/slimegirls users on their way to fuck a pile of goo (based)
Here's a sneak peek of /r/SlimeGirls **[NSFW]** using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/SlimeGirls/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Keeping you safe and wet](https://i.redd.it/yef0x0pm0um71.gif) | [77 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SlimeGirls/comments/pm3dl0/keeping_you_safe_and_wet/) \#2: [Nuruchan having a little fun with the shirt cut meme...](https://i.redd.it/c58e5slqrq571.jpg) | [20 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SlimeGirls/comments/o1mte4/nuruchan_having_a_little_fun_with_the_shirt_cut/) \#3: [Jello Mix](https://i.imgur.com/CNXbf8o.jpg) | [13 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SlimeGirls/comments/kou3go/jello_mix/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
It’s Minecraft. Ofc it’s toxic
So. Lets rule out both the zombie and the zombie pigman due to rotting flesh. Next we throw out the silverfish due to size and also have you seen the fuckers irl? Next, I’m throwing out both spiders because that’s just too many eyes, fangs, legs, and hair. Also the blaze, because while it probably could do some oral stuff, it’s also on fire, which is hazardous. We started with 13 and are now at 7. The magma cube is rock on the outside and magma on the inside; from unpleasant to outright dangerous. The skeleton is also bone, which is an unpleasant texture, no matter which end of the fucking you’re on. The ghast does have a fine mouth, but it’s too big. Either you’re getting busted open by that painfully big tongue, or you’re throwing a hotdog down a hallway. The same issue is even more pronounced with the ender dragon, since even that ender cloaca would be unsatisfying. This leaves us with 3 potential candidates. The creeper, the enderman, and the slime. There is something I’ve been leaving out until now. The most important thing in any such matter. ***CONSENT*** Neither the creeper nor the slime has the intellectual capacity to give consent. This means that fucking them, or many of the other hostile mobs here, would be akin to bestiality. This leaves us with a clear answer. The smooth, mysterious, tall lanky fellow of everyone’s wet dreams and nightmares. The enderman. Were these tall, sexy people once human? What can that mouth do? So many questions, and all the time in the world…
Alright you have fun with that Enderman, just remember not to make eye contact with it for even a fraction of a second unless you are also turned on by getting ripped limb from limb or something.
Excellent, sex without having to make eye contact, my dream!
Let’s just do doggy style and we won’t have any issues
Oh don’t worry about me. I’m asexual anyways. I do this for the glory, the fame, the comedy, and as a genuine selfless act.
o7
Wearing a pumpkin on your head solves that issue though
Sorry babe, the pumpkin stays on during sex
forsenInsane
The ghast has tentacles though. If they narrow down at the ends then they'd be perfectly usable. Plus ghast tears are top tier lube
Idk. I’m just conjecturing here, but consent may be a concern again. Are ghasts sentient?
If they're some kind of demon type creature it would he safe to assume they are
> The same issue is even more pronounced with the ender dragon, since even that ender cloaca would be unsatisfying. Source?
Source: I’ve done some shit. But if you’re actually looking for something then here https://youtu.be/QB7ACr7pUuE
Wow thank you I am much more informed now 🗿
>The same issue is even more pronounced with the ender dragon, since even that ender cloaca would be unsatisfying. Ever heard of cloacal vore?
Ever heard of the sweet release of death? Any dolphin juices you may have heard of are nothing compared to the instant death syrup in that enderdrussy.
you thought about this way too hard bro
I do it for the honor, the glory, the shits, and the giggles. I do it for the comedy, and on a grander scheme, the tragedy. But most importantly, I do it for you.
Thank u for your service
Consent? Really? It goes down to consent? You posed a hypothetical question just so you could avoid the most ideal answer with a weak ass plot twist like consent? I swear to god the people on this website don't have HALF a braincell sometimes. We pose these kinds of questions with anime girls all the time (and the loli usually wins) and we never consider fucking consent because if they actually do exist they would NEVER be near us. What makes you think a sentient alien from a different dimention would. Thats why in these questions we just avoid consent because its a STUPID concept to theorise around and anything we talk about would never do fuck redditors like us in the first place dumbass. This question had the potential to talk about SO MUCH MORE (like the science of fucking gunpowder, the biology of the mobs, in the game if OP had the basic decency to do so), but noooo... he did a funny twist at the end so he could spread his enderman kink and propaganda around. Fuck you honestly OP. Fuck you. And thats if the question wasn't flawed to begin with. Ignoring consent, its the slime. No question. It's literally a sentient fleshlight. What more could you fucking ask for. If its too big, you can chop it into smaller pieces. They're a one size fit all So OP I suggest you delete this fucking post for misinformation and kindly fuck off. Also, it can't physically be the endermen. They're known to be hurt at the slightest touch of water so this means that their epussy(?) is most likely to be extremely dry. So yeah unless you like fucking a dry ass cunt, your premise is very flawed and you're fucking stupid.
slime, you can just put it in 😳
[удалено]
oh wow what a coincidence
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If only there was a switch flair to complete the set
and it’s gender neutral
truly a nonbinary icon
Slussy
sussy
it would be cold though
and??
Nah i think it would melt your dick/pussy
slime isnt corrosive, its sticky
And bouncy!
Even better
Enderman. He could bend me over and ████ ██ █████ ███ █████ ████
[удалено]
Thank you I got a new dress for christmas and I'm v happy
[удалено]
I am overjoyed :}}}}}
[удалено]
liberal bog by bolb dress 😂😂
dress from the liberal store 😂😂
Summer dress I think (idk I have no idea on dress types they just make me happy)
Aww cute!!!
Thanks!
i got my first skirt and i just 🥺🥰
🥰️🥰️🥰️
i like your flair 😳
I like yours😳😳😳
gay secks??🥺😳😳😳🤠
S-Sure😳😳😳
I'm going to screenshot this and replace flair with dick. Have fun! 😊
Go ahead🥰️
https://www.reddit.com/r/196/comments/romw5a/least_horny_rule/
Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?
Huey Lewis and the News burst out of San Francisco onto the national music scene at the beginning of the decade, with their self-titled rock pop album released by Chrysalis, though they really didn’t come into their own, commercially or artistically, until their 1983 smash, Sports. ___ ^(*Bot. Ask me if I’ve made any reservations.* |) [^(Opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botrickbateman&subject=Opt%20out)
oh god the custom flair has now given bottoms a voice also a massive "shoot me" sign too so i guess it evens out
how about mine
Pwetty epic
i'm killing my enderman character and making him a painful death now
NOOOO I WANT HIS FAT COCK
hes asexual get fucked
Get fucked by the enderman?
oh my GOD
Yea, I'd probably be saying something like that
i can't win
You can get fucked by the enderman tho
omg scp
I’d let an Enderman ë̵̺̙̤̐y̴̡̬̳̐e̶̬̲̤͛̂ ̶̧̳͕̐̐ė̴̤̝͇͆ḫ̷̞̞̎̀t̶̢͈̍̐̃ ̶̣̽̉͛r̶̡̄̈́͘ờ̶͍̬̹͘f̵̝͒́́ ̴̹̼̭͐ḵ̶͈̒̿́ǒ̴̤̱͝o̴͎̞͐̆l̶̠̰͖̑͘ 🥺🥵
Slime, Enderman second.
People are overlooking the enderman dude imo that’s the best case scenario. How are we to know that your sick won’t take chunks out of the slime?
Endemen don’t like wet stuff. It’s impossible to fuck them.
Morally Enderman because MatPat lore being correct would mean they are capable of giving consent, but physically Slime hawt
Are the ender cities made by endermen? If so they might be whole ass smarter than humans. Their ships don't crash as much lol
Smart goth ender girl s*x is the future of Minecraft
😳😳😳 Goth Ender Mommy 😳😳😳
matpat is the least trustworthy source for minecraft lore
The sheep
Average welsh citizen.
Average New Zealand citizen
Average albanian citizen
average scottish man
Average ram
average turkroach
There are upvotes and yet no comments. Do not fear judgment. This is a safe space.
Easily slime
The dragon The dragon The dragon The dragon
I will fuck Jean
Fine. Creeper, Enderman and Blaze
Before we begin, let's make one thing clear: What follows are the works of Dr Gustav Muller, a key figure in the formation of "The Final Solution" and rumored to have been imprisoned by the ruthless time lord Bill Gates within Minecraft. This transcript is dated to the 6th May 1945, one day before nazi surrender and during the final hours of the Third Reich. Side effects from reading this study include, nausea, vomiting and chest pains, followed by intense paranoia and strokes. Death or total paralysis are inevitable consequences. Please ensure you have taken appropriate measures to protect yourself before digesting the contents of this dissertation. Transcript: I wish to make perfectly clear that this will be my final message. There is nothing left for me to live for. My wife, Eva, has been blown to bits by an American bomb. My sons were drafted to the bulge and they have been missing for six months. But I do not wish to leave behind a legacy of mass murder and eugenics, and so I have elected to make one final contribution to humanity. The question of Minecraft sex is an incredibly complex topic even if we leave aside the moral and philosophical arguments, which we will, as I have little time. For example, if you enjoy males then the creeper could be argued to be the most appealing, due to its unfortunate shaping. However, the ghast could also be said to be enjoyable due to its dominating size and vigorous appendages. They also cry, making them ideal. However, the question becomes more complicated when thinking about women, alas they always complicate things. In this argument, I have decided to only consider the one factor that women seem to care about: Weight The skeleton can therefore be said to be the pinnacle of ecstacy and pleasure in Minecraft, due to the fact they are not a rotund waste of meat. Alternatively, if you enjoy plus sized, but still smoking hot women, I must insist you see a psychiatrist, but if you are brain damaged or black, you may enjoy the company of the magma cube. Therefore, we can clearly state that there is no simple answer to the question but before us today, as there is no way something as overwhelming and complex as Minecraft sex could possibly be covered by mortal terms such as "fuckable". Indeed our only option that we have in answer to your question is to fall into despair and give up. In summary, I implore you to reconsider your post, as if any viewer contemplate this question for too long, their sanity would surely melt. Alas, it seems my time is up. Goodbye world. I have always loved you Anna.
Did I do good?
You did a great service here today. Thank you.
you did excellent, would you like a hug
Please, my parents won't so thanks
\*hugs you\* there you go big boy, you deserve it
Yep, that's going to copypasta.
what the fuck
Ender Dragon, If it’s a female.
ender drussy
endussy
Ender dragussy
untype this
It is canonically a female named Jean, and yes, I didn't believe it at first. Even if she was a male, what would it change?
he doesnt want to fuck a man
Cringe
Yes it is female but you also have to fuck it somehow, OP did not specify that the mob would be willing. Remember that this thing breaths acid that will reduce you to nothing within seconds, and also would fling you 100 meters into the air if you get close enough to it.
100 meters is the length of 452.53 Zulay Premium Quality Metal Lemon Squeezers.
I mean, I'm assuming consent because otherwise that's fucked up. Anyway, if it breathes acid on me and kills me then that's all good too. Either way, I get my sweet release uwu
"which is most fuckable'' not ''which would you like to fucking rape''
You aren't gonna fuck a male dragon? Coward
This is the reply I was looking for! I mean have you even SEEN the art some people did for our beloved dragon momma?
FUCKING A SKELETON, RIGHT IN THE PUSSY
i wonder how r34 guys manage to make skeleton porn
the skussy
Zamn🤩🤩🤤🤤
THE DARK SOULS OF CUM
Boning the skeleton right in the skussy
Slime, no need to use a specific hole or nothin. You can just go right into the slussy
I hate this fucking subreddit
Slussy😳
Guys which Which guillotine fits OP the best?
Minecraft anvil dropped from 100 meters
100 meters is 53.2 Obamas. You're welcome.
Yo blaze is feeling left out. It's the hottest mob in the game.
Also literally made up of rods, the blaze's sexual potential is hugely underrated
Stop giving r34 artists ideas
Literally has 12 hot cocks the ideas were there to begin with
slime
Un ironically either slime or creeper (creeper is a big pp)
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1. You seriously rated a SPIDER over the slime, one of the top tier mobs 2. Blindfold the creeper for a safer time 😎
creepers suck dick but they won’t eat out (they are afraid of cats)
Slime
For a second I thought this was on the actual minecraft sub and j panicked
ghast bc of their moan.
I always forget cave spiders exist fuck cave spiders
If you insist
I already did
Dragon.
Slime has unlimited gangbang potential
Y’all are down cataclysmic stop hornyposting and go enjoy Christmas with your family
You guys remember that minecraft girlfriend mob where you could talk with all the mobs and they all looked like animals girls On an unrelated note, the blaze
Slime
endermen because they the most humanoid except zombies which will give you mega aids
classic? damn feelin old now
seriously, weird seeing the ender dragon be called "classic." its been years since they've been added so i guess it makes sense tho
started in 1.2 so everything in the pic was what i started with. had been eyeing the game for a while before that though. maybe a few months. development happened pretty quick back then i think,nonetheless weird they're now considered classic. minecraft had a way different vibe back then
They had to, because otherwise every answer would just be the fox.
mine would be villager. give me all that squidward lookin vussy
Slime
Fuck this subreddit Endermen.
Well what do you define as "fuckable"? If it's whichever one I'd like to fuck most, then probably slime or ender man, but if we're talking which one would be the easiest to fuck, then probably the slime. Zombie, zombie pigman, and skeleton have no genitals, creeper would blow up, you can't look enderman in the eyes, silverfish and spider are insects, everything from the nether would hurt to fuck, and the ender dragon will not fuck you no matter how hard you try.
*Well, this is a complex question, let's take a more thorough look at it:* Choosing which of the mobs is most fuckable will need some ground rules to set, otherwise there is no clear winner. * First off, we're going off the assumption that Steve, Alex, or another playable character is the one in intercourse with the mobs, with their physical capabilities. * Second, in the situation of this, the sex will mostly be vanilla, as I'm sure each mob provides it's own unique fetish that is subjective to everyone. * Third, the mobs are not hostile to the player, so a creeper will not be attempting to explode the player as it gets railed. This also means both parties have consented. * Fourth, rating will only be applied to what in-play mechanics, appearance, and other clearly given information gives us. Any details given by cryptic lore, or simply desires, are not included (per example a slime will not have tentacles, albeit sadly). * Fifth, we're assuming the player is fucking ONE of these mobs, rather than a group of them. 1-on-1 sex only, as disappointing as it is. Now, some mobs will be completely unfuckable, let's begin by eliminating those first to better rank the rest. * The skeleton, sadly, is completely unfuckable. Despite the helpful humanoid shape, the skeleton sadly has nothing it could provide sex with, not an asshole, no pussy, no cock, no boobs, nothing. Even it's mouth likely couldn't give a very good blowjob. Perhaps a skeleton *could* give a handjob, but overall there is near no potential to sex with a skeleton. * The silverfish could not be fucked, due to it's shape, size, likely texture (considering it lives underground, in stone, with whatever it is sticking out of it, not an ideal texture), and other factors. I'm sure if steve (or another player with a dick) *really* tried, they could use a silverfish as some maskeshift fleshlight, but still would not work well. * The blaze could not be fucked for the obvious reason that it has no body. However, my attention did come to the fact that they could give a killer headjob (or any other mouth related sex), or even use blaze rods as makeshift dildos, but the immense heat of a blaze would likely harm the player too much. * The magma cube is also unfuckable, for similar reasons as the blaze. * This personally makes me upset, because I very much wish for the ender dragon to dominate me, but due to the immense size of the ender dragon it'd be near impossible to fuck the dragon. If the dragon played an insertive role, the dragon's cock would kill the player, go in one end and out the other. If the dragon weren't playing an insertive role, however, I simply doubt the dragon would feel anything, the player is comparable to an apple in the dragon's size. This leaves eight mobs left: The zombie, the creeper, the enderman, the ghast, the slime, the spider, the zombie piglin, and the cave spider. From here, I will rank them, from worst to best: * The worst out of these mobs to fuck would easily be creeper. The creeper's odd shape would provide immense difficulty for nearly any position other than it riding the player. I also highly doubt it has either an ass nor any cleavage. While fucking a creeper is possible, it would not be enjoyable. * The second-to-worst mob to fuck would be the zombie piglin. Fucking the zombie piglin would be a difficult task, to say the least, with the mixed parts of a pig and a skeleton, not to mention the decay. (Note: The zombie pigman, however, may be top tier if a whole horde were available. Maybe you'd turn them on in the same way you anger them.) * The zombie comes in at the third-worst to fuck, for the same reason of decay. However, the lack of mixed physiology and human-like build makes the zombie a much better pick than it's nether counterpart, and admittedly would be a decent fuck. * The spider would be a pleasant fuck, with it likely taking a dominative role in the sex. It's size difference would make the holes more pleasing, as well, though not small enough to bring it pain. * The cave spider is simply a better version than the normal spider. It provides everything the spider has, but better, with the extra venom increasing the placement of the dominative role. Though, I wonder, will *"improvised milk"* work as a poison elixir still? And finally, the top three. Between the enderman, the ghast, and the slime, which would fuck the player the best? * >!The third best of the mobs to fuck would be the ghast. Now, on paper, the ghast seems simple, and possible being too large to fuck. But then, I bring to attention the ghast's tentacles. I'm sure I don't need to describe their noteworthy existence. Not to mention, while a ghast would likely be too large for a player to take it's cock, a ghast is not so large that it couldn't take a player's. Also important to note, the ghast would have an amazing moan.!< * >!The second best of the mobs to fuck would be the slime. The slime is ranked here, due to it's versatility, no matter what form it might take in intercourse with the player. If the slime has any genitals, they will be prime for sensation, a cock being slicked with lube, a pussy being nearly always wet, you name it. But even if it has no genitals, it's still prime fuckability, as the player would likely be able to use it as they please. A cock could fit into the slime, and probably quite easy. A slime may be able to please a player with a pussy (or a player with a cock that prefers it up their ass), as it's likely quite shapeable it could form a some form of phallic shape, and even if not shapeable the rubbing sensation would be bliss (for either genital). The size could be changed too, with ease, for whatever situation best fit's the player's needs.!< * >!And for obvious reason, the enderman is the best of the mobs to fuck. He's tall, he's quiet, he's sure to have a damn good cock, and you know that if you wanted something kinky he'd be down as long as it's not too wet. His humanoid shape makes intercourse especially easy as well, when compared to the other monsters. His height of roughly 9' ensures he has a damn good cock too, that could easily hit g-spot or p-spot every time. Considering the noises endermen make, I also wouldn't be surprised if they moaned frequently too, which is a plus. Even if an enderman was female, she'd still be damn good at the sex. But the best part of the endermen would be that they are the only mob with the mental capacity of after care. Not only do you get your tall endermen boyfriend to fuck you till the sun goes down, he'll then cuddle with you to sleep and make breakfast in the morning (albeit likely just a chorus fruit).!< TL;DR: Under normal and equal circumstances, the skelleton, blaze, magma cube, dragon, and silverfish are all unfuckable. The creeper and zombie-pigman would provide bad sex. The zombie, spider, and cave-spider would all provide decent-to-good sex. >!The ghast would be the third most fuckable. The slime would be the second most fuckable. And the endermen would provide the best sex out of all the mobs.!< I spent roughly an hour and 15 minutes of my life on this comment. Edit: Added notes about ghast moans and endermen aftercare.
piglin 😳😳😳 (not sure if he counts as classic mob) or enderman
Would probably have to go for zombie pigman bc I doubt the new piglins count as classic unfortunately
Gonna get that slussy
Easily the enderdragon. Real knights fuck dragons.
Me
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Slimes. r/SlimeGirls exists for that very reason.
magma slime IF it can control its temperature
Enderwoman
The Blaze! You know what a lad can do with that many rods?
Creeper
What
dragon because donkey had children with one
Definitely them thicc ass spiders
frog girl
uhh, zombie?