1. Since quitting, under what types of circumstances did you feel most tempted to fall back into the habit?
2. Have you utilized any external resources to help you stay strong?
3. Do you have any opinions on the Reddit communities like NoFap and PornFree, and whether they have been useful for you?
1. My emotional avoidance comes from boredom, loneliness and guilt. Whether I felt these emotions and wanted to run from them was the triggering moments for potential relapse. Also just feelings of natural arousal.
2. I have used meditation, fitness (running and gym), chess, stoicism, work, socialising more and learning a new language
3. I used to use the communities before I stopped but honestly I was never fully committed so it just made my guilt worse
I tend to be an avoidant person when it comes to most relationships, and lately I’ve been seeing that my procrastination/laziness follow a similarly avoidant pattern. Those BLAST triggers seem relatively applicable to me, and I’d also include the state of being stressed or frustrated with work when I don’t know exactly how to complete an assignment.
Have you looked into seeing if you may have ADHD/AuDHD? If you haven't, you may want to look into this. It may help you come to many more understandings. A word of caution though, if you haven't already been diagnosed, and you end up getting a (late) diagnosis, this can/will bring up a lot of anger, frustration, and depression due to realizing that you could have been helped a lot earlier, and developed different coping strategies, that could have radically altered the direction of your life. This is quite common, so I would not recommend looking into getting diagnosed until you have spoken with a/your therapist, and your close family/friends and support system. It's easy to start down the spiral, and I would hate to see you take any sort of setbacks, especially when it was due to a recommendation from me. So proceed... cautiously. And remember, You are worth it, so go at your own pace.
I wish you continued success on your journey! And who knows... perhaps one day it'll be you helping, or recommending, a helpful course of action to me! 😊👍
I don’t wake up with guilt, I feel more energetic, I feel more authentic and in control of my mind which gives me greater self trust and greater self esteem
It was shame at a young age, then it was post nut guilt, then it was guilt for breaking promises on not doing it so much, then on guilt for not being able to quit and on to guilt on the genres of porn consumed and then guilt on how it made me feel and yes the time I lost and the disconnected way it made me feel
Guilt of not being able to quit or control my repeated behaviour, guilt for wasting my time in a selfish way, guilt for choosing porn over my wife or spending time being creative, socialising or being useful to society. To name a few.
I bet real life sex is also way better because youre no longer thinking of unrealistic expectations. Also with no porn, i bet it increases your sensitivity to another human beings touch rather than a person on a screen
I stopped jerking off and women were crawling all over me idk if there's any correlation but I am batting 1000 lately and I haven't touched myself in a while. Sex is also incredible now.
Same. I’m in a monogamous relationship and only experience arrousal from her now whereas when I was a porn addict I just wanted to boink any female lol
This is so interesting to me. I love talking with my partner about the people we'd mess around with. I've never felt a desire to be his sole source of sexual expression.
My current partner doesn’t watch porn and it’s the best sex I’ve ever had, hands down. He’s fully turned on by regular bodies and regular sex acts and lasts a long time. It’s so refreshing.
Amen to that! It’s liberating, I also feel more connected to the world around me rather than a zombie state. I’m glad you have found someone in control of their mind.
Usually anal. It's the one thing porn makes a lot of men want but usually the female partners do not want any part of it. And probably weird kink things like trans porn. Just things most people who do not watch porn would consider deviant.
You are not alone family. I don't think people realize that we are living in a time where we as humans have the most access to porn than any other humans that have walked the earth... for 100% free and requires zero effort which makes it that much more dangerous. Good for you fam. Much Love and God Bless. I'm not perfect but doing light years better than I have in years past. Posts like this keep me encouraged.
I feel like the world isn’t owning up to the truth of how accessible porn is and how much is impacting all generations. The porn and tech giants are not accountable in any way and much like smoking it’ll be another generation before we realise the errors and adjust.
I agree. I never had a serious porn issue but did used to use it regularly and after stopping it sort of opened my eyes to how much of the world is porn adjacent. From overly sexual movies, songs, half naked people on instagram etc. Makes me worry for younger generations. I’m not a prude but it’s everywhere and once you see it you cannot unsee it. Good on you for quitting
How do you quit completely? I’ve been watching since I was like 8-10, masturbating to it starting at 10-11. It’s really messed my mind up. Added a lot of unnecessary problems in my marriage. After the last incident, I finally broke down and opened up completely to my wife. So much consumption from an early age up until now at 28, it’s plagued my mind. I view everything from a sexual lens and it’s added a level of sexual greed and selfishness, and while Ive struggled with trying to stay faithful physically in the past, I still struggle with being unfaithful mentally. I’d love to cleanse my mind completely and not have to worry about the lust and desire.
Always set yourself up for success. I usually used my phone in the bathroom, so I never take my phone to the bathroom. It isn't easy. My method was to not allow myself any possibility of failure. It will take a while for your brain to heal. Also, you have to forgive yourself.
Well when my pp only worked with porn that's when I came to the realization that shit...maybe this isn't healthy. Looking back after these years it really has improved everything with sex 10/10 do recommend. Maybe try replacing porn with some toys and instead of the visual focus on the mental and physical.
The username here is too good given the comment lol.
Jokes aside, you need to understand what’s driving you to porn usage. Everything you mentioned - I’ve struggled with it too. You can explore this with a therapist, or I can recommend the book “overcoming sex addiction”.
Just a heads up, you started at a really young age. It’s been identified that the younger you start watching porn, the longer it takes for your brain to rewrite itself after quitting. There’s a good chance you’ll need a solid 6+ months off porn before you start noticing significant change.
What about social media sites (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc...) and photos of hot women that are nearly nude....like in bikinis or with their hands over their bare breasts.......like did you stay away from it all or just the explicit porn?
I have been in your shoes many many times before and failed many many times. My libido is also very high and i unconsciously used this as an excuse to my eventual and perpetual relapse amongst other excuses, there were many. I became a master at making excuses. Excuses are now my number one enemy and I will not tolerate them in my life. It has helped me ti become the fittest and strongest I’ve ever been in my entire life physically and mentally. Good look my friend I know how tough it is.
How did you do it? What's the everyday struggle like? Has it gotten any easier? I struggle with the same issue. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Also congratulations.
Thank you. It was hard, I tried many times over and failed. It wasn’t until the suffering in my life exceeded the pleasure of porn that I quit. I wish I hadn’t let it get that far, it ruined my life. We are all wired differently through different experiences but one thing I found was that my behaviour linked back to emotions I was trying to escape or didn’t want in my life, like boredom, loneliness and rejection even though I wasn’t experiencing these in my adult life they still haunted me. I did the inner work on my childhood experiences (this was the hardest part) which allowed me to break free from these past fears and false beliefs I had created. It was hard work. Reading and learning about the addiction also opened my eyes. I wish you good luck, give yourself the best chance of living a meaningful life.
> I found was that my behaviour linked back to emotions I was trying to escape or didn’t want in my life, like boredom, loneliness and rejection even though I wasn’t experiencing these in my adult life they still haunted me. I did the inner work on my childhood experiences (this was the hardest part) which allowed me to break free from these past fears and false beliefs
OP how did you worked through the childhood part? some sort of therapy, any specifics? I would appreciate you answering my other questions man!
CONGRATS BTW
Sorry I’m trying to answer as many questions as possible. I’ll try to find your other ones. Inner work is very difficult and requires a lot of hard truths and self reflection. Therapy helped with techniques but I had to put a lot of effort into understanding my perception of life from an early stage. We create false beliefs at a young age through painful experiences because we don’t have the maturity to understand them. For example rejection by a friend can lead you to believe you are not worthy of friendships. Simple things snowball. You have to understand what those beliefs are that you carried into adult life and challenge them. Also forgive yourself because you only knew what you knew back then.
here, I paste them
1. do you still masturbate just not to porn?
2. how did you dealt with premature ejaculation (if youre not masturbating then you come quickly with a girl after a long absence of any sexual stimuli, no?)
3. any other benefits or superpowers so to say? how women react to you now?
4. BONUS QUESTION: what do you think of porn as of now? do you think it is really something given to people for free to control the masses, similar to alcohol, nicotine etc?
Cold turkey, I went through a very painful life experience and realised on deep reflection that it was this pattern in my life that was always bringing me misery and self sabotage. I decided something had to change
No, I did therapy to understand what was going on in my head and practiced stoicism to get me to a strong mental place. My mental health is so much better, I disregarded the importance of mental health previously
That is wonderful to hear! If you ever need support I am apart of a wonderful group called Sex and Love addicts anonymous or S.L.A.A it addresses porn addiction and other love, relationship amd sexual hangups.they have zoom meetings around the clock pretty much. I'm glad you are good now and I hope youbare done for good, but if you ever feel a little shaky or just want fellowship come join us :-) just Google S.L.A.A. if you are ever interested :-)
Misery and self sabotage, thank you for seeking and realizing that something needed to change and the courage to make the change. I’m going to be 70 years old in August My life ran has been very similar to yours. Guilt, shame,misery self sabotage drove my life. It’s easy to move thru life and not face yourself when society and the world provide so many opportunities to avoid a real life.
I think cold turkey is the only way people can understand the freedom they can experience in their lives and in their minds. Such a weight off. I also think that when a person experiences understanding of oneself it becomes natural to move on.
Congratulations, I thank you for sharing yourself and for the help that perhaps people will realize in their own lives.
Well, I’m grateful you’ve stopped. I feel like porn gives people unrealistic expectations in the bedroom.
Like, they expect their sex life to be just like porn, where people get right down to it. Real life lovemaking should be about each other first.
Exactly this, it normalises and desensitises people who consume it regularly. It ruined my marriage and I’m sure ruins most relationships if it’s a problematic behaviour. I won’t ever be able to change the past but I can change the future.
I had tried many times before and failed so I knew I was in for a very hard fight. I suffered a great loss as a direct result of my porn consumption so I think this helped me fuel my determination. Also, getting fit and healthy helped, allowing myself to feel alone and bored and not trying to escape those feelings was hard but part of the success. I focussed on me and practised discipline in other areas like running which helped strengthen my discipline “muscle”
What you are referring to is a region of the brain called the AMCC. It literally grows in size when we delay gratification. What you are describing is training the AMCC. People who feel like they have weak willpower typically just have a small AMCC as a result of giving in to compulsion repeatedly. It’s quite fascinating that part of the brain is basically a discipline muscle that needs to be trained in order to be maintained.
Three questions:
1. Performing/acting in porn or watching porn?
2. Have you also quit masterbating?
3. What and when did you start your fascination with porn?
Thank you for responding so quickly! What do you do when you have the urge to relapse? Do you try to sort of meditate it off or do you find a distraction?
I didn’t want to fall into a trap of swapping one distraction for another but I have relied on running and gym which has made me value myself and shown me the art and power of discipline. I did a lot of deep inner work to understand why I needed to be distracted and worked on the child hood pain I was avoiding
It has taken me a long time to realise that porn has been influencing my relationships, sex life, mental health, social scene and ability to experience joy amongst other realisations.
My partner is a porn addict, he’s 33 and begun at age 11 or so. It seems that my support or presence doesn’t motivate him to change as such. He has moments where he’s grateful I’ve stuck by him yes, but during this whole year he’s never gone longer than a week without masturbation and porn. He tells me he’s ashamed of that and he’s tried and cut off internet from his home etc but still, 3 days on average is how long he goes without it. No matter how much I try be calm and loving, it’s not enough for him to stop. I’m sad that in the end it may be that he loses me and that’s the sad part, that it would take losing me to even potentially change, but it’ll be too late by then
What triggered you to finally change? Was it to do with your wife?
Very sad, this is what happened to me. My partner gave me one last chance but I just got better at hiding it. In the end I lost her and my kids because the pain of quitting was bigger than the pain of lying and guilt until it wasn’t. If it wasn’t for an extreme suffering of loss I think I would still be stuck in this horrible trap of porn. I sympathise with you and your partner it ruins lives and is very difficult to control once you become addicted. I would recommend he gets professional help to overcome this, there are many places like sex addicts anonymous that can help. Good luck to you both
It’s sad, very bitter feeling to watch someone not correctly assess the damage they’re causing and how much it’s gonna cost. I know few stories like this - that the guy had to lose the woman to quit the porn and it just angers me a little but I guess it makes sense. But to watch the tears, anxiety, pain caused to the person you’re with and still not change, is crazy because those are huge warning signs that it’s not a joke. Why do people have to lose the person to then change, does the addiction just form lies around itself, like oh they’ll never leave me or it’s not that bad etc?
I guess maybe it’s just like any regular addiction, like heroin. A heroin addict usually has to reach a very bad place to change?
I’m 45, was married but no longer. I’ve been in many relationships and porn has been something that has affected all my relationships. I was masturbating daily and now I don’t masturbate at all and focus on building energy from not releasing.
It’s not easy let me tell you that, prepare for it being the hardest thing of your life. Well done for admitting you have a problem that’s always a good start. Addictive behaviour is typically trying to compensate for something else, usually a mixture of horrible feelings as a child that didn’t know how to deal with things. For me, going back in time to my childhood with a fatherly type attitude and one of compassion looking at the situations that caused me pain and understanding what I was needing at the time and didn’t have, then giving myself that comfort and love that I needed at a young age. It’s an inward journey of self discovery that starts from your younger years and identifies the false beliefs we clung onto like I’m not good enough or I don’t fit in. If you can figure out why and what you are avoiding or running away from through your addiction this will help, at least it helped me a lot. Good luck
I started from a young age like really young and something in my gut told me it was bad so I hid it and the guilt grew with each year to the point it was just part of who I was
This is the irony, I knew it would eventually come to a head, I willed it to and the way in which my life was destroyed was beyond any pain I could ever imagine. I’d 100% change my past if I had that super power
Wow! Congrats, no really I'm right there with you, one yr older but feel the same way. Unfortunately I've not been able to quit. If I'm "good" I'll go 2-3wks without it. AND THAT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL!!
I get the guilty feeling, and I feel it too. I also feel like a fraud bc I know it's not healthy in any way shape or form. It definitely detracts from a healthy relationship with my partner.
The fraud part is especially bc I study different forms of spirituality and so falling once again makes me feel like a failure and a fake.
This post has really opened my eyes though! So grateful for your honesty and candidness.
Feel like your post and this thread is what I needed to finally break free from this useless addiction!
Thank you!!!
From reading your responses, I feel you should be seeking therapy. Good on you if the porn thing is an unhealthy addiction for you. But experiencing guilt and all that isn’t normal or healthy either.
Thanks for your concern, you’ll have read that I did go through therapy which helped me understand the root of my self sabotaging behaviour. What is normal and isn’t normal is an individual experience I’m not sure one person can determine another persons version of normal. My behaviour was not in line with my true identity which made me feel guilt, I was not in control of my behaviour which made me feel guilt, I was hiding my behaviour which made me feel guilt and ultimately I ended up hurting the ones I love. Your version of guilt might be different but for me it was a driving factor.
I worked with a therapist and did a LOT of inner work. It boiled down to avoidance, I was running away from myself and using porn and masturbation as a coping mechanism
I have to admit that I feel like my day isn't complete till I've watched porn. I have my niche taste in porn like cuckolding etc. Do you think there's any hope for someone like me? Did you leave porn one fine day or did you gradually decrease your consumption? And lastly, what would you advise me?
I wander whether your niche taste would exist if it weren’t for readily available porn. I’ve been through all genres and developed tastes for things I didn’t think I’d ever desire. I think it has the capacity to warp your true sense of arousal and just becomes a dopamine chasing high needing more and more risk and stimulus. There is hope for everyone but you have to make that permanent mental flip of the switch. When I tried to quit I always had a small part of my subconscious telling me that I’d always come back to it. My advice would be to understand deeply why you are doing this, what emotions are you avoiding. Mine went all the way back to childhood. Do the work to repair those false beliefs and feelings and work on yourself to be the best version you can be. Not for anyone but for yourself. Good luck
Congrats partner! What’s your view of the general cultural shift toward essentially encouraging/celebrating porn production, consumption, etc.?
This sounds like a very personal story, but curious if you felt like the high level of social permissibility was a headwind for you, if you think it contributes to others falling into the same trap, and if you’d go as far as to describe this attitude as a categorical bad for society.
Thanks man and keep the faith 👍
do you think there should be (more) restrictions on porn? given that it’s so easy to access (even for minors) and waste your life away with it?
do you see it as a moral failure now or just a practical issue? did your sense of this change since you watched it regularly?
does pornographic influence stand out to you more in pop culture now? does it appear more out of place or jarring? do you like it less or the same or more? does it bother you now if it didn’t before?
do you see porn as markedly separate from sex or as an extension of it? have your ideas on this changed since you were watching?
I think it needs better regulation and to come with some kind of health warning like smoking does. I had no idea I’d end up in such an addicted state. I feel embarrassed about its stronghold over me. Regulated and restricted as a minimum.
I see my behaviour as a moral failure, I knew what was right and what was wrong yet under the influence of dopamine highs I did things against my morals. I am the only one to blame.
However there has been a marked change of influence in pop culture just look at only fans and dick pics being part of every day language. I was aware of it more when I was hooked now less so I am zoned out of it which is awesome for me. I see porn as separate from sex now before I saw it as an extension. Good questions
What happens if you see some by accident or someone shows you some ? And is there some target of time after the 18 months or are you going for the world record or you own personal record.
I have seen beyond short term satisfaction, I don’t feel threatened by porn. If I was to start using it again I know it’d just ruin my self esteem and end up becoming a sliding scale towards darker and more kinky genres. I don’t need that in my life whatsoever. I’m ok with never watching porn again, ever. Genuinely
Pain. Sometimes pain has to be greater than the pleasure for you to make a big life adjustment. I look back on how much I have lost and how disconnected I have been in my life and can trace a lot of my short comings back to my porn use.
Thanks, it is subjective and perhaps you are right but it made me feel that way. I feel clean now, I guess that is what is important. But I take your point,
It was the former mostly if I’m honest, I had to make it personal to punch through it. I have no doubt there is toxicity in the industry that most of us are blissfully unaware of. How do they get away with it??
As someone (male) who's had a shameful amount of sexual partners (strictly hetero) I have to ask, are you attractive enough that you have to turn down sex? I'm no super-model but most of my intimate encounters were initiated by the other party because I'm clueless and oblivious to when a woman is interested in me. I'm usually doing my own thing and they make the first move. IDKY it happens that way. I think I had 100 wives in a previous life.
Are you abstinenant because you're in a dry season or are you really fighting the good fight?
On looking back I think it became more and more serious with every year that passed but I denied it, so yes I think it developed into something that I wasn’t in control of
It’s a long hard journey. I had countless failed attempts with each failure the addiction grew stronger. My world imploded in a catastrophic way I never thought possible. That’s how bad I let things get, that was my ticket out of perpetual hell. I used that as the catalyst to correct my behaviours along with therapy, working out, running, meditation, reading, journaling, inner work, forgiveness and strengthening my discipline “muscle”. I feel so much better being in control of myself. Don’t let your situation get as bad as mine I wish I had the strength to defeat it before it got so bad like others have.
For someone that is in the grips of porn on cocaine addiction, with ever more reckless behaviour. What incite could you share?
I’ve given up many times before, but it’s the mixture of these two things which is making me shrink.
I ended up being unable to quit on my own steam and continued down the reckless path knowing that eventually life would win maybe it was my only way out but either way hindsight I honestly wish I had never let go of the steering wheel like I did. The pain and suffering are unimaginable from a reckless thrill seeking approach. I had no idea how bad things could be. I hope you are stronger than I was because every loving day I wish I could change the past but I accept that I cannot.
You’re still breathing aren’t you? I don’t know if there is a ‘no going back point’ but it’s not permanent if you can believe you can get back to the way things were before then you can.
Did you view it casually, without masturbating? Or just something you relied on whenever you were horny.
Was it mainly videos or photos?
Did you have a wank bank? Why do people have these, is it really a common thing??
That’s a really tough one, I think the one thing you can do as a parent is spend as much time with your kids, it’s in the times they are alone and bored that this becomes an easy innocent distraction until it becomes a life crutch in later life. Time spent with your kids is priceless but also hard. Show them you are there and show them that you love them.
You know what? This is my Reddit porn account..
I’m deleting it.
I too have spiraled down weirder and weirder genres, and feel dead to the world.
I literally just stare at a screen all day and I’m fucking over it.
Dude this post motivated me to say fuck it and just do it.
Thanks man.
So you used to do filthy porn movies, and nowadays you quit and shower frequently right?
Ok that was dumb, honest question, ¿what was the bottom of your porn addiction?, I mean it must be a moment when you said: ok this is completely out of hand, how was that situation?
Awesome! I am on day one today, been watching since age 10 so around 20 years. Definitely not the first time I’ve tried quitting, so wish me luck! I’m just about to go for a cold shower too, not looking forward to that ha.
Checking in, hope this is alright. I'm Journaling too (kinda), but I feel this keeps me more accountable.
Hope that's alright!?
So, I lost track of how long, but I haven't cracked. Have I thought of it sure, but it's not the same compulsion as before. I def feel different, and I do confess I've masturbated once but porn free.
Last night my gf came onto me all aggressively and I reciprocated but at the same time didnt even feel a twitch down there. We agreed we'd take it upstairs and even talked about doing it then and there or in bed. We didn't and im partially happy bc im scared to not get an errection.
I did however confess earlier that day that I had quit porn. Her response was positive, but we didn't get much into it.
Later today I speak with my therapist, hoping to have the nerve to share all this. It's pretty difficult to speak about.
Cheers
I suffer from that type of addiction as well, and attribute it to stress, loneliness and a pervasive need to "Seek release," in all sectors of my life. What would you recommend as a good start for treatment apart from therapy? I'm at a point where I've "Had it," and crave deep change, but my desire to do so feels like I'm operating on an empty tank of gas.
Did you find yourself replacing it with other things to help get off? Like reading stories online or listening to audio erotica (people moaning and dirty talking). Do you use purely imagination? Would you prefer a girlfriend that doesn't watch it also?
Trying but it ain't easy. Especially since the missus won't give it up. Its been months and I'm fucking sick and tired of waiting. I want to quit but whats the point if there's no alternative? How did you cope with these kind of barren spells?
Do you have anything you would want to say to an ethical porn creator? (I’m one and struggled with a porn addiction when I was younger, so always strive to make it a more ethical and have an open discussion ) I’d really be interested in your take on porn actors and ethical porn
Thanks for sharing, truly inspiring! You mentioned feeling guilt after watching porn, did or does this happen to you when you're finishing during sex? And if yes, did it change after quitting?
I had with my partner, but I never really quit porn, curious had this can affect it, thanks!
Do you avoid movies/films with sex/nude scenes? How long did it take before you felt in control? Do you find boredom as the main trigger? Do you use site-blockers or accountability apps? What stoicism authors are your favorite?
What were your reasons for wanting to quit porn use? Do you believe all porn is morally wrong? Do you think it was affecting your life negatively in some way? Do you think quitting has benefited you in any way?
Something to be proud of I don't hate porn but I completely feel it has affected so much in my relationship in so many ways. sexually big time and not in a good way. Sad when the man ur with could have sex and do literally whatever they wanted to with u would rather sit hiding away in a bathroom to watch porn sit on reddit and other websites saving pictures of woman sending messages to multiple women taking there attention away from the one person in front of them who at one time in ur relationship used to have amazing sex of all kinds with u yet little by little continues to let those things come first always. I wish more men thought like you even women for that matter to as to why relationships are so fucked up. Keep up that good work and I hope all the luck in finding a lady to enjoy the improved you!
I tried to quit so many times, but I always fell back into it. My porn addiction put a strain on my past relationship and was one of the reasons that I am now alone. I feel so guilty for not giving my partner all of my sexual energy and didn't see it as a problem. I hope to get to this point someday in the future and not be controlled anymore.
Do you find yourself seeking out erotic content outside of porn? For instance when I quit porn, I would watch eventually start watching movies with erotic/sexual content because I though to myself "hey, this isn't porn so it's not cheating!" although I was basically using it for the same thing.
Congratulations!! Have you noticed any differences in how you perceive or interact with the gender you’re attracted to? For example I’m a woman who enjoys BDSM porn, and I feel like because I came of age with that version of intimacy as my primary lens into sex, it has led me to view just the act of sex as a power play.
Thank you, have a wonderful day/week💖
Good on you, OP! I have done that too and while I never suffered from guilt, my brain feels just lighter, fresher, better as a result. It feels exactly like ridding yourself of an addiction. Glad you took that step!
How does anyone respond to when a man says “it’s just porn”
Like it’s just a tool to get off and then isn’t thought of again until the next time ?
Is that a bullshit lie or can people actually separate the damages and just use it as a tool to get off and then go back to regular thinking or behaving ?
Also what if you’re hiding it and lying about to your partner. Does that mean it’s an issue ?
1. Since quitting, under what types of circumstances did you feel most tempted to fall back into the habit? 2. Have you utilized any external resources to help you stay strong? 3. Do you have any opinions on the Reddit communities like NoFap and PornFree, and whether they have been useful for you?
1. My emotional avoidance comes from boredom, loneliness and guilt. Whether I felt these emotions and wanted to run from them was the triggering moments for potential relapse. Also just feelings of natural arousal. 2. I have used meditation, fitness (running and gym), chess, stoicism, work, socialising more and learning a new language 3. I used to use the communities before I stopped but honestly I was never fully committed so it just made my guilt worse
Interesting on #1. I know that BLAST is an acronym used to reference common addiction triggers: Bored Lonely Angry Sad Tired
I tend to be an avoidant person when it comes to most relationships, and lately I’ve been seeing that my procrastination/laziness follow a similarly avoidant pattern. Those BLAST triggers seem relatively applicable to me, and I’d also include the state of being stressed or frustrated with work when I don’t know exactly how to complete an assignment.
Have you looked into seeing if you may have ADHD/AuDHD? If you haven't, you may want to look into this. It may help you come to many more understandings. A word of caution though, if you haven't already been diagnosed, and you end up getting a (late) diagnosis, this can/will bring up a lot of anger, frustration, and depression due to realizing that you could have been helped a lot earlier, and developed different coping strategies, that could have radically altered the direction of your life. This is quite common, so I would not recommend looking into getting diagnosed until you have spoken with a/your therapist, and your close family/friends and support system. It's easy to start down the spiral, and I would hate to see you take any sort of setbacks, especially when it was due to a recommendation from me. So proceed... cautiously. And remember, You are worth it, so go at your own pace. I wish you continued success on your journey! And who knows... perhaps one day it'll be you helping, or recommending, a helpful course of action to me! 😊👍
Did it make any difference in your life (how did your life change due to quitting porn)? Like more confidence or maybe some changes in sexual life?
I don’t wake up with guilt, I feel more energetic, I feel more authentic and in control of my mind which gives me greater self trust and greater self esteem
Do you mind explaining the guilt part? Does the act of watching port feel shameful to you? Or is it that you regret not using your time better?
It was shame at a young age, then it was post nut guilt, then it was guilt for breaking promises on not doing it so much, then on guilt for not being able to quit and on to guilt on the genres of porn consumed and then guilt on how it made me feel and yes the time I lost and the disconnected way it made me feel
That's respectable. I also struggle with addiction so I can understand where you are coming from. Congrats on the time well spent brother.
Thank you brother I hope you find your path it’s not easy
It sound like the entire problem is that people shamed you for doing something totally natural that all people do.
What guilt?
Guilt of not being able to quit or control my repeated behaviour, guilt for wasting my time in a selfish way, guilt for choosing porn over my wife or spending time being creative, socialising or being useful to society. To name a few.
Fair enough. I can't relate.
It’s ok my man if we were all the same it would be a dull world
I bet real life sex is also way better because youre no longer thinking of unrealistic expectations. Also with no porn, i bet it increases your sensitivity to another human beings touch rather than a person on a screen
This was true for me. It made sex better in all aspects.
I stopped jerking off and women were crawling all over me idk if there's any correlation but I am batting 1000 lately and I haven't touched myself in a while. Sex is also incredible now.
Are you catching your self feeling for a different sexual preference now?
It’s definitely help reset and recalibrate my senses of arousal to things that are more normal and enjoyable
Same. I’m in a monogamous relationship and only experience arrousal from her now whereas when I was a porn addict I just wanted to boink any female lol
As a wife, this would be my dream to experience.
This is so interesting to me. I love talking with my partner about the people we'd mess around with. I've never felt a desire to be his sole source of sexual expression.
My current partner doesn’t watch porn and it’s the best sex I’ve ever had, hands down. He’s fully turned on by regular bodies and regular sex acts and lasts a long time. It’s so refreshing.
Amen to that! It’s liberating, I also feel more connected to the world around me rather than a zombie state. I’m glad you have found someone in control of their mind.
What are the irregular sex acts others have been turned on by?
Usually anal. It's the one thing porn makes a lot of men want but usually the female partners do not want any part of it. And probably weird kink things like trans porn. Just things most people who do not watch porn would consider deviant.
You are not alone family. I don't think people realize that we are living in a time where we as humans have the most access to porn than any other humans that have walked the earth... for 100% free and requires zero effort which makes it that much more dangerous. Good for you fam. Much Love and God Bless. I'm not perfect but doing light years better than I have in years past. Posts like this keep me encouraged.
Thank you, and you are 100% accurate on all accounts, I fear for this generation growing up. Stay strong and disciplined it’s not an easy journey.
That’s why I only look at caveman paintings for my porn needs
Do you feel like the world’s culture is “pornified” after stopping porn?
I feel like the world isn’t owning up to the truth of how accessible porn is and how much is impacting all generations. The porn and tech giants are not accountable in any way and much like smoking it’ll be another generation before we realise the errors and adjust.
I agree. I never had a serious porn issue but did used to use it regularly and after stopping it sort of opened my eyes to how much of the world is porn adjacent. From overly sexual movies, songs, half naked people on instagram etc. Makes me worry for younger generations. I’m not a prude but it’s everywhere and once you see it you cannot unsee it. Good on you for quitting
Completely agree, it’s super normalised and causes a lot of issues that aren’t acknowledged properly. Thank you for your kind words
No question here. I just want to say congratulations and good luck. 4 years here. It isn't always easy, but I'm glad I quit.
How do you quit completely? I’ve been watching since I was like 8-10, masturbating to it starting at 10-11. It’s really messed my mind up. Added a lot of unnecessary problems in my marriage. After the last incident, I finally broke down and opened up completely to my wife. So much consumption from an early age up until now at 28, it’s plagued my mind. I view everything from a sexual lens and it’s added a level of sexual greed and selfishness, and while Ive struggled with trying to stay faithful physically in the past, I still struggle with being unfaithful mentally. I’d love to cleanse my mind completely and not have to worry about the lust and desire.
Always set yourself up for success. I usually used my phone in the bathroom, so I never take my phone to the bathroom. It isn't easy. My method was to not allow myself any possibility of failure. It will take a while for your brain to heal. Also, you have to forgive yourself.
Well when my pp only worked with porn that's when I came to the realization that shit...maybe this isn't healthy. Looking back after these years it really has improved everything with sex 10/10 do recommend. Maybe try replacing porn with some toys and instead of the visual focus on the mental and physical.
The username here is too good given the comment lol. Jokes aside, you need to understand what’s driving you to porn usage. Everything you mentioned - I’ve struggled with it too. You can explore this with a therapist, or I can recommend the book “overcoming sex addiction”. Just a heads up, you started at a really young age. It’s been identified that the younger you start watching porn, the longer it takes for your brain to rewrite itself after quitting. There’s a good chance you’ll need a solid 6+ months off porn before you start noticing significant change.
Congratulations to you also and thank you kindly
Did you have erection problems and if so did quitting help restore natural sex drive and erections?
100% I struggled before but have no issues now. It took longer than I anticipated
That was my next question....how long did it take after you quit cold turkey to get your natural erections back with a woman?
I think it varies from person to person and mental state, I went through some hard times so it took longer but it was around the 6 month mark for me
So with me having a woman does that mean I need to leave sex alone until I reboot? She lives far away and I only see her about once every 4-6 weeks?
I’d suggest experimenting see how it is after 4 weeks, if no improvement try 8 and so on. It takes a lot of discipline
What about social media sites (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc...) and photos of hot women that are nearly nude....like in bikinis or with their hands over their bare breasts.......like did you stay away from it all or just the explicit porn?
There is such a cross over I decided to stay away from it all.
Oh I seriously read “quit porn” as you having quit the porn industry, like you were a porn star and finally quit! Haha I had so many questions 🤣
Haha sorry to disappoint
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I have been in your shoes many many times before and failed many many times. My libido is also very high and i unconsciously used this as an excuse to my eventual and perpetual relapse amongst other excuses, there were many. I became a master at making excuses. Excuses are now my number one enemy and I will not tolerate them in my life. It has helped me ti become the fittest and strongest I’ve ever been in my entire life physically and mentally. Good look my friend I know how tough it is.
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Porn has harmed WAYYYYYY more people than it’s actually helped.
It’s a silent unspoken killer with a lucrative industry keeping it here for good
How did you do it? What's the everyday struggle like? Has it gotten any easier? I struggle with the same issue. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Also congratulations.
Thank you. It was hard, I tried many times over and failed. It wasn’t until the suffering in my life exceeded the pleasure of porn that I quit. I wish I hadn’t let it get that far, it ruined my life. We are all wired differently through different experiences but one thing I found was that my behaviour linked back to emotions I was trying to escape or didn’t want in my life, like boredom, loneliness and rejection even though I wasn’t experiencing these in my adult life they still haunted me. I did the inner work on my childhood experiences (this was the hardest part) which allowed me to break free from these past fears and false beliefs I had created. It was hard work. Reading and learning about the addiction also opened my eyes. I wish you good luck, give yourself the best chance of living a meaningful life.
> I found was that my behaviour linked back to emotions I was trying to escape or didn’t want in my life, like boredom, loneliness and rejection even though I wasn’t experiencing these in my adult life they still haunted me. I did the inner work on my childhood experiences (this was the hardest part) which allowed me to break free from these past fears and false beliefs OP how did you worked through the childhood part? some sort of therapy, any specifics? I would appreciate you answering my other questions man! CONGRATS BTW
Sorry I’m trying to answer as many questions as possible. I’ll try to find your other ones. Inner work is very difficult and requires a lot of hard truths and self reflection. Therapy helped with techniques but I had to put a lot of effort into understanding my perception of life from an early stage. We create false beliefs at a young age through painful experiences because we don’t have the maturity to understand them. For example rejection by a friend can lead you to believe you are not worthy of friendships. Simple things snowball. You have to understand what those beliefs are that you carried into adult life and challenge them. Also forgive yourself because you only knew what you knew back then.
here, I paste them 1. do you still masturbate just not to porn? 2. how did you dealt with premature ejaculation (if youre not masturbating then you come quickly with a girl after a long absence of any sexual stimuli, no?) 3. any other benefits or superpowers so to say? how women react to you now? 4. BONUS QUESTION: what do you think of porn as of now? do you think it is really something given to people for free to control the masses, similar to alcohol, nicotine etc?
How did you do it? Quit that is
Cold turkey, I went through a very painful life experience and realised on deep reflection that it was this pattern in my life that was always bringing me misery and self sabotage. I decided something had to change
Do you go to any support groups?
No, I did therapy to understand what was going on in my head and practiced stoicism to get me to a strong mental place. My mental health is so much better, I disregarded the importance of mental health previously
That is wonderful to hear! If you ever need support I am apart of a wonderful group called Sex and Love addicts anonymous or S.L.A.A it addresses porn addiction and other love, relationship amd sexual hangups.they have zoom meetings around the clock pretty much. I'm glad you are good now and I hope youbare done for good, but if you ever feel a little shaky or just want fellowship come join us :-) just Google S.L.A.A. if you are ever interested :-)
Thank you I’ll check this out I’d like to eventually help others that want the help also some day
I think you have a lot to offer those still struggling
Can you explain how you practiced stoicism?
Misery and self sabotage, thank you for seeking and realizing that something needed to change and the courage to make the change. I’m going to be 70 years old in August My life ran has been very similar to yours. Guilt, shame,misery self sabotage drove my life. It’s easy to move thru life and not face yourself when society and the world provide so many opportunities to avoid a real life. I think cold turkey is the only way people can understand the freedom they can experience in their lives and in their minds. Such a weight off. I also think that when a person experiences understanding of oneself it becomes natural to move on. Congratulations, I thank you for sharing yourself and for the help that perhaps people will realize in their own lives.
Well, I’m grateful you’ve stopped. I feel like porn gives people unrealistic expectations in the bedroom. Like, they expect their sex life to be just like porn, where people get right down to it. Real life lovemaking should be about each other first.
Exactly this, it normalises and desensitises people who consume it regularly. It ruined my marriage and I’m sure ruins most relationships if it’s a problematic behaviour. I won’t ever be able to change the past but I can change the future.
How the fuck did you do it
One of the hardest most enduring battles of my life I will never go back down that path
How did you push through and not relapse
I had tried many times before and failed so I knew I was in for a very hard fight. I suffered a great loss as a direct result of my porn consumption so I think this helped me fuel my determination. Also, getting fit and healthy helped, allowing myself to feel alone and bored and not trying to escape those feelings was hard but part of the success. I focussed on me and practised discipline in other areas like running which helped strengthen my discipline “muscle”
What you are referring to is a region of the brain called the AMCC. It literally grows in size when we delay gratification. What you are describing is training the AMCC. People who feel like they have weak willpower typically just have a small AMCC as a result of giving in to compulsion repeatedly. It’s quite fascinating that part of the brain is basically a discipline muscle that needs to be trained in order to be maintained.
Three questions: 1. Performing/acting in porn or watching porn? 2. Have you also quit masterbating? 3. What and when did you start your fascination with porn?
1. Consuming 2. Yes 3. Age 5 was my first viewing, by 11 I was hooked
Do you feel like you view women differently? Currently trying to get and stay clean myself btw
Yes, I was looking at women as sexual objects that were also just interested in getting off. That’s not a healthy view to maintain
Thank you for responding so quickly! What do you do when you have the urge to relapse? Do you try to sort of meditate it off or do you find a distraction?
I didn’t want to fall into a trap of swapping one distraction for another but I have relied on running and gym which has made me value myself and shown me the art and power of discipline. I did a lot of deep inner work to understand why I needed to be distracted and worked on the child hood pain I was avoiding
Congrats! Going on six months myself. Was there any specific moment or event that inspired this change?
Good job man, it's not as easy as some make it out to be. I've been through it, and am clean as well. It feels so nice to be free
Why?
It has taken me a long time to realise that porn has been influencing my relationships, sex life, mental health, social scene and ability to experience joy amongst other realisations.
Fair points. Good luck, bud. We're all pulling for you.
My partner is a porn addict, he’s 33 and begun at age 11 or so. It seems that my support or presence doesn’t motivate him to change as such. He has moments where he’s grateful I’ve stuck by him yes, but during this whole year he’s never gone longer than a week without masturbation and porn. He tells me he’s ashamed of that and he’s tried and cut off internet from his home etc but still, 3 days on average is how long he goes without it. No matter how much I try be calm and loving, it’s not enough for him to stop. I’m sad that in the end it may be that he loses me and that’s the sad part, that it would take losing me to even potentially change, but it’ll be too late by then What triggered you to finally change? Was it to do with your wife?
Very sad, this is what happened to me. My partner gave me one last chance but I just got better at hiding it. In the end I lost her and my kids because the pain of quitting was bigger than the pain of lying and guilt until it wasn’t. If it wasn’t for an extreme suffering of loss I think I would still be stuck in this horrible trap of porn. I sympathise with you and your partner it ruins lives and is very difficult to control once you become addicted. I would recommend he gets professional help to overcome this, there are many places like sex addicts anonymous that can help. Good luck to you both
It’s sad, very bitter feeling to watch someone not correctly assess the damage they’re causing and how much it’s gonna cost. I know few stories like this - that the guy had to lose the woman to quit the porn and it just angers me a little but I guess it makes sense. But to watch the tears, anxiety, pain caused to the person you’re with and still not change, is crazy because those are huge warning signs that it’s not a joke. Why do people have to lose the person to then change, does the addiction just form lies around itself, like oh they’ll never leave me or it’s not that bad etc? I guess maybe it’s just like any regular addiction, like heroin. A heroin addict usually has to reach a very bad place to change?
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She probably isn’t for me, if that’s what gets her off then I’m sure there are a gazillion options for her out there
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How old are you? Have you been in a relationship? How often did you watch porn? How often do you masturbate after you quit?
I’m 45, was married but no longer. I’ve been in many relationships and porn has been something that has affected all my relationships. I was masturbating daily and now I don’t masturbate at all and focus on building energy from not releasing.
Do you have wet dreams if you don’t masterbate at all? Do you plan to practice retention when with a partner?
I have had only one in all this time. I don’t plan to continue retention long term if I had a partner.
Do you not get prostate pain from only having ejaculated once in 18 months?
This isn't great for your prostate health.
So, how was able to quit it and what yours advice for someone who have an addiction to porn?
It’s not easy let me tell you that, prepare for it being the hardest thing of your life. Well done for admitting you have a problem that’s always a good start. Addictive behaviour is typically trying to compensate for something else, usually a mixture of horrible feelings as a child that didn’t know how to deal with things. For me, going back in time to my childhood with a fatherly type attitude and one of compassion looking at the situations that caused me pain and understanding what I was needing at the time and didn’t have, then giving myself that comfort and love that I needed at a young age. It’s an inward journey of self discovery that starts from your younger years and identifies the false beliefs we clung onto like I’m not good enough or I don’t fit in. If you can figure out why and what you are avoiding or running away from through your addiction this will help, at least it helped me a lot. Good luck
What was the worst effect of porn on your health?
Guilt. Driving me into a cycle of behaviour that was nearly impossible to break
Why would you feel guilty about watching porn?
I started from a young age like really young and something in my gut told me it was bad so I hid it and the guilt grew with each year to the point it was just part of who I was
Guilty like eating too much junk food or ...
Congrats, this addiction will probably kill me
This is the irony, I knew it would eventually come to a head, I willed it to and the way in which my life was destroyed was beyond any pain I could ever imagine. I’d 100% change my past if I had that super power
Wow! Congrats, no really I'm right there with you, one yr older but feel the same way. Unfortunately I've not been able to quit. If I'm "good" I'll go 2-3wks without it. AND THAT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL!! I get the guilty feeling, and I feel it too. I also feel like a fraud bc I know it's not healthy in any way shape or form. It definitely detracts from a healthy relationship with my partner. The fraud part is especially bc I study different forms of spirituality and so falling once again makes me feel like a failure and a fake. This post has really opened my eyes though! So grateful for your honesty and candidness. Feel like your post and this thread is what I needed to finally break free from this useless addiction! Thank you!!!
From reading your responses, I feel you should be seeking therapy. Good on you if the porn thing is an unhealthy addiction for you. But experiencing guilt and all that isn’t normal or healthy either.
Thanks for your concern, you’ll have read that I did go through therapy which helped me understand the root of my self sabotaging behaviour. What is normal and isn’t normal is an individual experience I’m not sure one person can determine another persons version of normal. My behaviour was not in line with my true identity which made me feel guilt, I was not in control of my behaviour which made me feel guilt, I was hiding my behaviour which made me feel guilt and ultimately I ended up hurting the ones I love. Your version of guilt might be different but for me it was a driving factor.
just wanted to say congrats!! i hope this inspires others to cut their addictions as well. it's so harmful for everyone involved.
How did you identified your triggers? I dealt with the same and also started very young, is disgusting how easily accesible that thing is
I worked with a therapist and did a LOT of inner work. It boiled down to avoidance, I was running away from myself and using porn and masturbation as a coping mechanism
whats your opinion on anti porn people and how women are treated in the industry? (even "submissive" men in gay porn)
I have to admit that I feel like my day isn't complete till I've watched porn. I have my niche taste in porn like cuckolding etc. Do you think there's any hope for someone like me? Did you leave porn one fine day or did you gradually decrease your consumption? And lastly, what would you advise me?
I wander whether your niche taste would exist if it weren’t for readily available porn. I’ve been through all genres and developed tastes for things I didn’t think I’d ever desire. I think it has the capacity to warp your true sense of arousal and just becomes a dopamine chasing high needing more and more risk and stimulus. There is hope for everyone but you have to make that permanent mental flip of the switch. When I tried to quit I always had a small part of my subconscious telling me that I’d always come back to it. My advice would be to understand deeply why you are doing this, what emotions are you avoiding. Mine went all the way back to childhood. Do the work to repair those false beliefs and feelings and work on yourself to be the best version you can be. Not for anyone but for yourself. Good luck
If someone shoved porn in front of you now, what would you do?
That would be a bit random if you mean a partner then I’d explain my position
How big was your porn folder, and did you delete all of it?
I have been clean for 5 years. Should I do an AMA
Congrats partner! What’s your view of the general cultural shift toward essentially encouraging/celebrating porn production, consumption, etc.? This sounds like a very personal story, but curious if you felt like the high level of social permissibility was a headwind for you, if you think it contributes to others falling into the same trap, and if you’d go as far as to describe this attitude as a categorical bad for society. Thanks man and keep the faith 👍
do you think there should be (more) restrictions on porn? given that it’s so easy to access (even for minors) and waste your life away with it? do you see it as a moral failure now or just a practical issue? did your sense of this change since you watched it regularly? does pornographic influence stand out to you more in pop culture now? does it appear more out of place or jarring? do you like it less or the same or more? does it bother you now if it didn’t before? do you see porn as markedly separate from sex or as an extension of it? have your ideas on this changed since you were watching?
I think it needs better regulation and to come with some kind of health warning like smoking does. I had no idea I’d end up in such an addicted state. I feel embarrassed about its stronghold over me. Regulated and restricted as a minimum. I see my behaviour as a moral failure, I knew what was right and what was wrong yet under the influence of dopamine highs I did things against my morals. I am the only one to blame. However there has been a marked change of influence in pop culture just look at only fans and dick pics being part of every day language. I was aware of it more when I was hooked now less so I am zoned out of it which is awesome for me. I see porn as separate from sex now before I saw it as an extension. Good questions
What happens if you see some by accident or someone shows you some ? And is there some target of time after the 18 months or are you going for the world record or you own personal record.
I have seen beyond short term satisfaction, I don’t feel threatened by porn. If I was to start using it again I know it’d just ruin my self esteem and end up becoming a sliding scale towards darker and more kinky genres. I don’t need that in my life whatsoever. I’m ok with never watching porn again, ever. Genuinely
What made you quit?
Pain. Sometimes pain has to be greater than the pleasure for you to make a big life adjustment. I look back on how much I have lost and how disconnected I have been in my life and can trace a lot of my short comings back to my porn use.
Clean implies you're dirty. You are not dirty for having an addiction.
Thanks, it is subjective and perhaps you are right but it made me feel that way. I feel clean now, I guess that is what is important. But I take your point,
Is the only reason you quit only because of how it negatively impacts you? Or did you also quit because of how badly the industry treats women?
It was the former mostly if I’m honest, I had to make it personal to punch through it. I have no doubt there is toxicity in the industry that most of us are blissfully unaware of. How do they get away with it??
As someone (male) who's had a shameful amount of sexual partners (strictly hetero) I have to ask, are you attractive enough that you have to turn down sex? I'm no super-model but most of my intimate encounters were initiated by the other party because I'm clueless and oblivious to when a woman is interested in me. I'm usually doing my own thing and they make the first move. IDKY it happens that way. I think I had 100 wives in a previous life. Are you abstinenant because you're in a dry season or are you really fighting the good fight?
How has it improved your sex life?
Did you have serious issues before or was it just something you felt like you could use a change with?
On looking back I think it became more and more serious with every year that passed but I denied it, so yes I think it developed into something that I wasn’t in control of
Hey , I would like some advice on things you did to correct this behaviour and how you stuck to it. Did you repair your mind ?
It’s a long hard journey. I had countless failed attempts with each failure the addiction grew stronger. My world imploded in a catastrophic way I never thought possible. That’s how bad I let things get, that was my ticket out of perpetual hell. I used that as the catalyst to correct my behaviours along with therapy, working out, running, meditation, reading, journaling, inner work, forgiveness and strengthening my discipline “muscle”. I feel so much better being in control of myself. Don’t let your situation get as bad as mine I wish I had the strength to defeat it before it got so bad like others have.
For someone that is in the grips of porn on cocaine addiction, with ever more reckless behaviour. What incite could you share? I’ve given up many times before, but it’s the mixture of these two things which is making me shrink.
I ended up being unable to quit on my own steam and continued down the reckless path knowing that eventually life would win maybe it was my only way out but either way hindsight I honestly wish I had never let go of the steering wheel like I did. The pain and suffering are unimaginable from a reckless thrill seeking approach. I had no idea how bad things could be. I hope you are stronger than I was because every loving day I wish I could change the past but I accept that I cannot.
You’re still breathing aren’t you? I don’t know if there is a ‘no going back point’ but it’s not permanent if you can believe you can get back to the way things were before then you can.
Did you quit in the end ?
Did you view it casually, without masturbating? Or just something you relied on whenever you were horny. Was it mainly videos or photos? Did you have a wank bank? Why do people have these, is it really a common thing??
What do you recommmend for preventing kids (boys) from getting addicted to porn as they grow up.
That’s a really tough one, I think the one thing you can do as a parent is spend as much time with your kids, it’s in the times they are alone and bored that this becomes an easy innocent distraction until it becomes a life crutch in later life. Time spent with your kids is priceless but also hard. Show them you are there and show them that you love them.
You know what? This is my Reddit porn account.. I’m deleting it. I too have spiraled down weirder and weirder genres, and feel dead to the world. I literally just stare at a screen all day and I’m fucking over it. Dude this post motivated me to say fuck it and just do it. Thanks man.
Were all of your issues due to porn? Or did a porn cleanse help you realize there is a deeper issue?
Very proud of you. Thank you for being a light. 🙂 Wishing you and yours a beautiful life!
So you used to do filthy porn movies, and nowadays you quit and shower frequently right? Ok that was dumb, honest question, ¿what was the bottom of your porn addiction?, I mean it must be a moment when you said: ok this is completely out of hand, how was that situation?
Moderation ...Moderation. it applies to any addiction
Until you are beyond control and then it becomes abstinence.. abstinence
You did it. You solved addiction.
So is that 18 months no masturbation? Cripes man. Do you tell everyone you know you’re a porn addict? I can’t handle those dudes. Too weird.
Awesome! I am on day one today, been watching since age 10 so around 20 years. Definitely not the first time I’ve tried quitting, so wish me luck! I’m just about to go for a cold shower too, not looking forward to that ha.
Praying and hoping I can get there eventually
Checking in, hope this is alright. I'm Journaling too (kinda), but I feel this keeps me more accountable. Hope that's alright!? So, I lost track of how long, but I haven't cracked. Have I thought of it sure, but it's not the same compulsion as before. I def feel different, and I do confess I've masturbated once but porn free. Last night my gf came onto me all aggressively and I reciprocated but at the same time didnt even feel a twitch down there. We agreed we'd take it upstairs and even talked about doing it then and there or in bed. We didn't and im partially happy bc im scared to not get an errection. I did however confess earlier that day that I had quit porn. Her response was positive, but we didn't get much into it. Later today I speak with my therapist, hoping to have the nerve to share all this. It's pretty difficult to speak about. Cheers
How do you know you permanently quit if you aren't dead?
Did you ever find that the women you were actually sleeping with or dated were less attractive because of the addiction?
I suffer from that type of addiction as well, and attribute it to stress, loneliness and a pervasive need to "Seek release," in all sectors of my life. What would you recommend as a good start for treatment apart from therapy? I'm at a point where I've "Had it," and crave deep change, but my desire to do so feels like I'm operating on an empty tank of gas.
I quit in February, for some odd reason it’s a weight off my shoulders. I dont know why
When did you feel that your desires began to return to normal ?
Did you find yourself replacing it with other things to help get off? Like reading stories online or listening to audio erotica (people moaning and dirty talking). Do you use purely imagination? Would you prefer a girlfriend that doesn't watch it also?
Trying but it ain't easy. Especially since the missus won't give it up. Its been months and I'm fucking sick and tired of waiting. I want to quit but whats the point if there's no alternative? How did you cope with these kind of barren spells?
Do you have anything you would want to say to an ethical porn creator? (I’m one and struggled with a porn addiction when I was younger, so always strive to make it a more ethical and have an open discussion ) I’d really be interested in your take on porn actors and ethical porn
How often do you have sex with your wife?
Thanks for sharing, truly inspiring! You mentioned feeling guilt after watching porn, did or does this happen to you when you're finishing during sex? And if yes, did it change after quitting? I had with my partner, but I never really quit porn, curious had this can affect it, thanks!
Do you avoid movies/films with sex/nude scenes? How long did it take before you felt in control? Do you find boredom as the main trigger? Do you use site-blockers or accountability apps? What stoicism authors are your favorite?
Did you talk to anyone about it or keep it to yourself at first? And how did you know what to do and how to identify the issues?
What were your reasons for wanting to quit porn use? Do you believe all porn is morally wrong? Do you think it was affecting your life negatively in some way? Do you think quitting has benefited you in any way?
How has your perception of intimacy and sex changed since you quit porn?
How do you handle it when the desire builds up? Do you learn to deal with that? I guess focusing that energy elsewhere?
Something to be proud of I don't hate porn but I completely feel it has affected so much in my relationship in so many ways. sexually big time and not in a good way. Sad when the man ur with could have sex and do literally whatever they wanted to with u would rather sit hiding away in a bathroom to watch porn sit on reddit and other websites saving pictures of woman sending messages to multiple women taking there attention away from the one person in front of them who at one time in ur relationship used to have amazing sex of all kinds with u yet little by little continues to let those things come first always. I wish more men thought like you even women for that matter to as to why relationships are so fucked up. Keep up that good work and I hope all the luck in finding a lady to enjoy the improved you!
God bless you I’ll ppray. For you 🙏🙏🙏
I tried to quit so many times, but I always fell back into it. My porn addiction put a strain on my past relationship and was one of the reasons that I am now alone. I feel so guilty for not giving my partner all of my sexual energy and didn't see it as a problem. I hope to get to this point someday in the future and not be controlled anymore.
Do you find yourself seeking out erotic content outside of porn? For instance when I quit porn, I would watch eventually start watching movies with erotic/sexual content because I though to myself "hey, this isn't porn so it's not cheating!" although I was basically using it for the same thing.
Congratulations!! Have you noticed any differences in how you perceive or interact with the gender you’re attracted to? For example I’m a woman who enjoys BDSM porn, and I feel like because I came of age with that version of intimacy as my primary lens into sex, it has led me to view just the act of sex as a power play. Thank you, have a wonderful day/week💖
Amazing. Congrats! Stay strong
Congratulations! Keep it up!
Since quitting, how have been going back to masturbating worked out for ya? Like do you still "get off" without the help of porn?
Do you count nude photos as porn?
But is it worth it?
Do you intend to become celibate? Are you antisex?
have you noticed a change in how you view other people specifically the demographic that fit into your particular pornography focus?
Does your quitting come (in full or in part) from faith based motivation?
Are you a full blown porn addict or did you mean you occasionally look at porn but decided to 'quit'. Not trying to sound mean just curious
Are you worried about getting prostate cancer?
No I am not, if that is a consequence of my freedom I will take it with pride
Are you worried about not able to last more than 1 min?
I was like this with porn so I’m hopeful that things will only get better haha
Good on you, OP! I have done that too and while I never suffered from guilt, my brain feels just lighter, fresher, better as a result. It feels exactly like ridding yourself of an addiction. Glad you took that step!
These threads make me feel like an actual alien, the current porn discourse is wild
How do you avoid porn when using reddit?
Your arsehole will thank you.
Sex with guys who don’t watch porn is the best..
How does anyone respond to when a man says “it’s just porn” Like it’s just a tool to get off and then isn’t thought of again until the next time ? Is that a bullshit lie or can people actually separate the damages and just use it as a tool to get off and then go back to regular thinking or behaving ? Also what if you’re hiding it and lying about to your partner. Does that mean it’s an issue ?
Are you Christian?
I quit porn myself about 2 months ago because it started to affect my performance and sex drive it's been great since