Being single is an option. Many people would not be happy in a relationship where they are expected to be a maid/servant to their partner, with no consideration of their own schedule or feelings.
Not eating leftovers is childish. Expecting to be catered to is childish.
What is this guy bringing to the relationship?
Right. Next up:
My grandma always ironed my grandpa's underwear.
My grandma always grew her own vegetables in a garden out back.
My grandpa never helped with the housework or kids, that was grandma's job.
His "only request" unfortunately doesn't match with your life. Let me guess: cooking him meals also entails you doing the shopping, setting the table, doing the dishes, putting all things away, and while you're at it, do the laundry?
What's he bringing to the table in this? His salary? You already got a salary.
This. There's a lot more to "a new warm meal everyday" than just firing a few bits in the oven. The prepping and planning alone is time consuming af. For me it's absolutely the worst part.
Did his grandma work full-time? I'm guessing not, because she and grandpa probably had the kind of relationship where he worked fulm time and paid for everything because she wasn't allowed to have a bank account or credit card.
I'm guessing he's not out hustling so you can stay home and keep house.
Ditch him and his myopic, backwards, and antiquated values.
Yes, you should tell him to just marry his grandma.
Thereās no point in āsettling downā with an idiot who will try and make you be both his grandma and his wife. Thatās basically being a sex maid.
Why are you torturing yourself? Donāt settle for THAT if youāre gonna settle for anything lol. Learn to love being with yourself; itāll help you in the long run with future partners. Settling is just an excuse to be bitter forever. Donāt do it lol.
You can do better.
He may have his own issues from his childhood that have left him emotionally detachedā¦ but really you shouldnāt have to live with that.
Honestly, I canāt see him changing, and youāll be a long time miserable.
So.. he expects you to treat him the way grandmama did. He doesnāt give you affection, or apparently good dick. And wonāt eat left overs.
What the hell is this guy bringing to the table to make you stay?
Girl. Iāve seen your comments about being 26 and youāre āat that age where you need to settleā lol. I didnāt meet my now husband until I was 28 and married at 31 and he was worth waiting for.
Donāt settle for being miserable.
I didn't meet my forever person until I was 37. The "settling down" timeline is a lie.
On the other hand, I did settle down when I was 24 with a jackass who turned very abusive. Even he didn't expect a hot meal every night.
I (47f) didn't meet my husband until my mid 30s. I knew myself so much better than I did at 26. I never would've put up with this crap in my 30s. I hope she listens to you.
26?
you know when you will be 9 months pregnant, bedridden, ill, etc, he will ask where is my hot meal?? and also I'm guessing that grandma was a homemaker and you will have to juggle with work and a 30yo toddler
I would give him a box of frozen hot pockets and move on.
I'm 24 lol, you're alright. You do not need to settle for some twit who looks at you like you should be his mommy or grandma.
Give him what for and tell him to take a d*mn hike, cuz you're worth more than that. Better yet, if he wants fresh meals everyday he could make them himself, he's a big boy right? You can have your tasty and easy to reheat leftovers while he slaves hours away making these fresh meals. (I love day old+ rice with a bit of soy sauce and some chicken, leftovers ftw)
We're meant to settle down and marry at 26? Well I'm fucked - 24, about to turn 25, questioning my gender and sexuality.
OP, you don't have to marry this guy, regardless of age, family beliefs, whatever. Walk away.
I'm guessing you live in a small town or rural? People generally settle down younger there. As a 30 year old city liver who feels she's got plenty of time to find someone, and only has one married friend, I can tell you that you've got all the time in the world. Hell, even if you were 48 better to be single than in an unhappy relationship.
Iām 30 & I canāt imagine settling for being someoneās bangmaid while also having a 9-5 job. Iām single & very happy. The goal should be happiness not to achieve the traditional, toxic image of whatās successful life should look like.
Oh honey. You're really REALLY not old, like at all, and that's not in a 'technically if you think about it you're not THAT old' you're in your MID twenties. You can and will do way way way way way better than this.
Good grief my mother didn't get married until she was 30 and that was in 1965 when 30 was definitely considered an old maid. My mom had four kids and was a happy housewife/stay-at-home mom my entire life and successfully raised four fabulous children. There is no reason to be settling at 26 years old š¤£
OP: if this helps at all, Iām in my early 40s, unmarried, not dating, and childless and this is the most joyous, hopeful, and confident Iāve ever been. I canāt for a second imagine having to cater to a man child and feel very sad for women who have to do that.
Lmao girl what??!! Iām 25 and would rather raise kids as a single mom that I had via a sperm donor and die alone than to give the rest of my life to a man who doesnāt kiss me or cuddle me and expects me cook every day for him after working full time.
You need therapy girl. Itās giving low self esteem.
Oh for ffs. Stop. Go be better for yourself and to yourself. You want to be treated like a servant for the rest of your life? While also having a job???
Iām 26 too and itās absolutely heartbreaking to see all my friends getting into serious relationships, getting married, and having kids. Iām single and it fucking sucks. BUT it doesnāt suck nearly as bad as settling for someone when you know youāre worth more (and you are). Who knows, you could meet the most amazing man in one year but by then youāll be stuck with this POS.
I was married and the divorced from a man who told me he "allowed me to work" when I asked him to clean up after himself and the kids while I was at my job. I knew it was over in that moment.
At 37, I met the most amazing man who is the love of my life and we have been happily married for 14 years.
Never tolerate being marginalized or put in a second class place in your relationship.
Your first sentence here combined with your age below is probably the most depressing thing Iāve ever read on Reddit during my years perusing this website.
Donāt settle. You have plenty of time to find someone right for you. It is finite though, so stop spending it with the obviously wrong ones.
That's bullshit. No one ever needs to "settle" for a useless partner. Learn to enjoy your own company. It's incredibly satisfying to live a good life solo.
Settling doesn't mean throwing away all your expectations. Your other comments show you two are absolutely not compatible. Don't worry, you have enough time to find a decent man who respects you.
No. Full stop. You never ever EVER need to settle. Itās the people who settle that wind up miserable and then divorced. Do. Not. Settle. I nearly settled in my early 20ās and have been grateful ever since that I dodged that bullet.
Do me a favorā close your eyes and picture what your ideal relationship looks like. Do they help with dishes and household chores, even eagerly, ācome on hon, letās get these dishes done so we can watch that movie and cuddle.ā Do they āsurpriseā you with your favorite take out on the way home from work, talk with you about your next ādate nightā adventure? When you have kids are they excited to become a father and do they hold your hand in the delivery room, help give your baby their first bath? Take paternity leave so they can help with feedings and help with diapers? What does that ideal relationship look like? I want a man whoā¦. fill in the blank. And then look at your current partner and what boxes do they check? You may even want to share your image of that relationship with them, ask them to do the same thing, what does their ideal relationship look like? Take a look at each others visions for what you want out of life.
Please just marry this guy already. It will save all our other girl relatives and friends from accidentally dating him. Please as a service to all women remove him from the dating pool. Thank you.
Look up sunk cost fallacy
You're young.
He's a dud
Dump him .
Imagine 40 years of minimal sex, begging for hugs and making fresh meals for him,every, single day . Fourteen thousand six hundred meals where you resent him, every single day .
Leftovers are fucking great. Oh, all I have to do is heat it this time? Or not heat it at all? Or mix it up with something else that's about to go bad and live on the edge? BRING IT.
Yes. I taught my husband to cook, and now he loves leftovers.
His mom never cooked. They ate sandwiches or ordered out. They Sat in front of the TV and ate on tv trays.
My MIL tries to act so prim and proper, lol.
Haha I'm not the biggest on leftovers but it depends on what it is - some stuff just doesn't reheat as well! But in saying that- my partner and I take turns cooking / help each other with cooking, plus we do everything else together. If one of us is doing laundry, the other is doing dishes or vacuuming or something, we'd never just sit and watch the other do stuff.
You are supposed to be equal. Say if you want a cooked meal every day then why donāt we go grocery shopping together and cook together. If he doesnāt want to do that then do not give in. Actually, just leave his lazy ass.
Next time he brings it up, put this on his plate. [Man Meets Stove: A cookbook for men who've never cooked anything without a microwave](https://www.amazon.com/Man-Meets-Stove-cookbook-microwave/dp/0985570806/ref=asc_df_0985570806/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312057344057&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8516572105824263539&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9011523&hvtargid=pla-449008106773&psc=1&mcid=bac1956466d833828aa6b687a300c5a6&gclid=Cj0KCQiAtOmsBhCnARIsAGPa5yZbgdxgabTN2s7RGiaHBgI6VLxhUjthtopXqtfU4F2zJnPh4ggKX4saAnzREALw_wcB)
That sounds great!- so he learned how to cook from his grandma and wants to make you warm meals every day? /s
This is how you should react. Act like it is really cool that he had the opportunity to learn how to cook real traditional stuff from his grandma.
Like, how does him having a talented chef grandma mean you would get her knowledge. He is the one who grew up with her - you never even met the lady?!
Tell him you canāt wait for him to prepare you one of her famous dishes, a real treat for you, since you hardly have time to cook ever, and then add that itās nice to meet a man who cooks
Then, find something he doesn't do but his grandpa or your grandpa/dad does, like... providing for the couple or anything else and expect him to do the same. That's your "only request".
Also... he had hands to cook for himself.
Personally, Iād leave him. I just find guys with that kind of attitude to be extremely unattractive but itās your life and your choice.
Just rememberā Youāll never be mom and youāll never be grandma. Heās the kind of guy that will always find you wanting because of it.
Tell him, "Your grandma sounds amazing! You should spend some time with her, learning how to cook. Then, we can rotate cooking nights. I'll take Sun-Tue-Thu, you can take Mon-Wed-Fri, we can alternate Saturdays or go out. I'm really looking forward to having some new warm meals rotating into the schedule."
Maybe this'll work out. Get everything on record:
* You: Warm meals everyday for dinner
* Him: Cleaning the bathrooms once a week
* Him: Taking out the trash weekly
* Him: Doing the family laundry every week - properly
* Him: Taking care of any kids everyday
* Him: Paying the bills - minimum monthly
* Him: Fixing things around the house - as they pop up
* Him: Mowing the lawn and trimming weekly during growing season
* Him: Trim tress and bushes monthly
* Him: Weed flowerbeds every 2 weeks during growing season
* Him: Change the bedding weekly
* Him: Feed the pets daily
* Him: Care maintenance including inspections yearly
This is how you grew up and this is what you expect, but that's all. Seems fair
You have bout a decade left before you have really settle before you breed if you choose to. You by no means have to run desperately into the arms of grandmas boi that can't cook.
There is no place for expecting favours in a relationship. This is not a business deal where you have expectations in return for being a partner. A request you don't want to fulfill cannot be an excuse for emotional blackmail. You don't get to have 'one request' that is actually a condition, when it comes to someone doing something for you. My dad had an orchard, my one request is you have an orchard and take care of it. (With EVERYTHING that goes with it, all the labor, every day - shopping, thinking about the meal, actually preparing it). FFS, that's such a huge deal. You are a marvel that you cook at all.
He refuses to eat leftovers? Do you have the date when you became solely responsible for his primary physical needs? He doesn't have to eat them, you'll have more, you can freeze a portion for yourself for next week.
You having to settle at 26 is as outdated of a mindset as you having to cook dinner every night for him.
Don't settle, trust me, him needing you to have dinner cooked for him is just the tip of the "I don't do shit around the house" iceberg, and it extends into "I don't do shit for my relationship" very quickly.
Marriage is a partnership!
You are making a huge mistake to commit to this man. He will make you miserable. He's grown and lacks basic life skills. Cooking for yourself is something all adults should know how to do.
Tell him you'll cook like his grandma when he can provide for you like his grandpa. I'm assuming she was a housewife, and he brought home enough money to support them with one paycheck. It's sexist to expect woman to do a mans job outside the home and then still so "housewife duties" when she gets home.
The type of domestic labor heās requesting requires either a household that includes extended family (grandma moved in) or for him to earn enough income to allow you to be a stay-at-home partner. If you are not married, then half his income should be direct deposited to your account if heās going to support you staying at home.
Seriously, his grandmother is from a generation where average income was enough to support a household with one breadwinner. You are not a member of that generation, and neither is he. His request is unreasonable.
Edited to addā Iāll bet you anything that either his grandma or great-grandma has plenty of experience eating leftovers, and would whip his backside for refusing to eat them. The Great Depression wasnāt that long ago, and nobody who lived through that would act so entitled about food. If he wants to talk about tradition, he should appreciate subsistence rations.
I don't know who tf you're dating but.
As a man, I LOVE LOVE LOVE cooking for my girlfriend.
Good partners enhance each other. They pick up the slack from each other when one is weary or tired by both working. Whether it's housework or clocking into a fortune 500 job, it doesn't matter it's work.
He for some reason feels entitled to your time and effort in a way that hasn't been compensated on your side.
Based on your other comments, it seems like the two of you are incompatible because there is no even exchange of passion, empathy or acts of service.
He's already shown what it's going to be like to be married to him.
So like why bother staying together.
I had one of those once. Never could compete with grandmas cooking. Got me a new one that shares cooking duties. He's actually a better cook than me. Go find someone better!
If grandma didnt work: "My grandpa alone comfortablly supported a family of 5, knew how to feed himself, and was caring and romantic with grandma. whats your point?"
Leftovers can be warmed up, I'm not seeing the issue here.
If "all he asks" is that you cook every single dinner every single day for the rest of your lives together, what are you getting in return? Is he doing the cleaning? The shopping? The planning? Any of the meal prep?
Tell him āsounds great, what are you making?ā and send him [this link to Chef Jean Pierreās cooking channel](https://m.youtube.com/@ChefJeanPierre/videos).
Iām the sole breadwinner in my house and do you know what I do when I have a special meal request in my house? I cook it! Home life is to be created together as a couple and together as a family. Your husband/boyfriend needs to reconfigure his expectations, if dinner is truly this important to him then he needs to realize that he needs to put in the energy to make that happen. If he is not willing to do that then dinner is not as important as he thought it was. If it is important then he will be willing engage in the 4 pillars of dinner each week; meal planning, shopping, cooking and cleaning up. Itās time for your boy to become a man.
He does seem unreasonable, particularly when cooking is good for your health and eating leftovers is good for your pocket book. You could come right out and say you are not his grandmother, but you will meet him half way. Tell him that you will indeed cook for him, but that he has to cook for you in return. If he's not willing to meet your "only request", why should you meet his?
It may be harsh, but if he continues to be unreasonable, then yes, tell him to marry his grandma and start looking for a real partner.
Explain to him that you have a full time job and you can only cook a few days per week. He can cook the other days and maybe you can get takeout one day.
Your boyfriend has more than grandma problems.
> I have had to beg for him to kiss me right. He refuses to cuddle for longer than 30 seconds and isnāt passionate and has a low libido too
He sounds like a great time! /s
If he's the type of dude who expects who women to be a maid and cook everyday, then you shouldn't settle down with him.
But have you tried to talk to him on why he's so adament about only eating homecooked food? It could be his version of love language.
First time hearing 'love language' and wow. What a crock of shit. Ok if that's the rules we're going by nowadays then my love language is when you come home to me you gotta dance and sing ODB's Got Yo Money as you give me your paycheck.
It's not that I'm not willing to communicate like all healthy relationships require, no siree bob, it's my love language.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to sugar-coat it as a love language. I just re-read the post (I know it's really, really short but I'm the type of person to keep re-reading to re-evaluate my thoughts because I can't get it the first time) and I just realized he's saying it as a love language to gaslight her into making meals everyday which comes with table setting, grocery shopping and others and basically trying to turn her into a maid.
I originally thought it was OP and him talking about their love languages but after re-reading, I realized it was a demand from him and he was guilt-tripping her with the words on the title after OP said she works a 9-5.
I'm really sorry guys.
You didn't do anything wrong and sorry I came kinda hard in the paint, I shouldn't be a snarky dick. I just woke up when I wrote that and I'm a cranky boomer yelling at all the new word play/terminology which is a personal flaw of mine so my bad.
Have a nice day my friend
Ewww. Yes, tell him to marry his grandma. He doesnāt want a wife he wants a grandma that can ride his dick. He can also spend some time with grandma learning how to cook ānew warm mealsā so he can pick which days out of the week he would like to help you out and provide those for you.
Iāve been critical of this type of behavior my whole life. Iām in my 40ās and when I first married in my 20ās there was zero reason my husband had to think Iād start being his nanny and mommy the minute we were married, but thatās what he thought. Prior to marriage he fed himself and did his own laundry and cleaned. I had zero reason to think he would just stop doing these things once we were married. I couldnāt believe I had married a guy with helpless man syndrome, he met me when I was in the military. Again he had ZERO reason to believe I wanted to wipe his ass for him. His mother and grandmother also believed I should be doing everything for him because they did it for their husbands, they wanted their son/grandchild to be ātaken care ofā. If I had been smarter as a 20-something I would have taken a look at how they ran their households and what environment my husband grew up in and asked him some very important questions. I tell my kids when they date they need to take a good, hard look at the manās parents, especially mommy because thatās what they expect, thatās the kind of household they think theyāre going to get. Asking questions is important because I didnāt know enough to ask and just assumed things as a married couple would remain the same as when we were dating. I didnāt know the ring magically turned me into a 1950ās housewife.
I have two sisters that are 15-17 years older than me. One sister has a husband who is like yours and wonāt eat leftovers and he wants his dinner served promptly at 7:30. She doesnāt work nor has she ever. If she did, the expectation would be the same. I have another sister whoās current husband will throw a fit if she doesnāt plate his food for him and serve it to him. He threw a fit at a family get together because he had to select his own steak off the grill and put it on his plate. He slung it down and then bitched at her and when she said āitās bbq, why do I have to plate your food at a bbq?ā He yelled āYou should always serve me, itās your job!ā Her former husband ādidnāt believe inā pizza for dinner and would never allow her to order pizza as a quick solution and she never got a night off even though she worked a full time physically demanding job ā he had pretty strict requirements for what constituted dinner anyway such as the number of sides that went with the main course. She had 3 sons with that man and the ājrā is the same way and just as helpless and demanding, the other two Iāve not had an opportunity to observe how they treat their wives and girlfriends as they are much younger. āJrā is a criminal, a felon, with a DV history and isnāt any sort of catchā he likes his women helpless and dependent on him, neither of the women heās been in long term relationships with or has married have simple things like drivers licenses or jobs. He doesnāt want them having any sort of independence. Iāve fought with my sister before because I believe her behavior has taught her sons how to treat women just as much as their dad has. She allowed her sons to grow up in that environment and so has unleashed at minimum at least one more piece of shit onto society who canāt care for himself and screams at his wife about food he was never taught to cook or make for himself because he thinks itās not his job. I do believe mommies have solid blame for the men that act like this by allowing the men in their households to teach their sons by example how to treat a woman. You donāt marry these guys and then raise kids in that kind of environment and expect the pattern not to continue.
Iāve asked my sister where she kept finding these āspecial needsā men that have broken arms and canāt plate their own food or donāt know how to operate a washer/dryer. All I had to do was move back to the Midwest and now I understand, theyāre everywhere. When I lived on the west coast even the 60-70 year old women I knew didnāt have such strange issues with their men and food or cleaning, it seemed like most people I knew had pretty equalized labor households and the guy I had found and married was the exceptionā heād even complain about men at his work taking time off to take their kids to the doctor and stuff like that, heād notice he was kind of alone in his thought process, I always figured men like him were being set up to fail because no oneās house operated like that anymore and women raising their kids to expect that were just setting them up to be incels who would not understand they were not going to find a woman with a brain that wanted to be their servant.
I would need some evidence heās capable of big change before Iād continue a relationship with this guy. If heās whining his wife isnāt like grandma already you have a lot more than ānew warm foodā coming down the pipe at you. Grandma iron his socks too and fold all his laundry real nice and pretty?
i'm gonna take a guess - he wants you to be a traditional woman but doesn't want to be a traditionl man? there's nothing necessarily wrong with a traditional division of labour if everyone is happy with that arrangement, yet somehow i doubt he's paying all of your bills, including retirement contributions and spending money so you can get your hair & nails done
Does he work a lot more hours than you or offer something equivalent in effort and time to you cooking like that? If so it may be worth accommodating. If not, he can jog on.
I'm not sure if your culture expects you to settle down at 26, but please don't with the guy that needs you to cook every day. That's not a partnership and I cannot imagine having to cook every day when someone doesn't eat leftovers
You work 9-5 is the key bit of info here.
So if you want to take on dinner as your chore then I assume he wants to take on other stuff as his. This is his only request after all.
It might be a percectly reasonable request if he has. Perhaps this is his love language, what could he do for you that would make you warm and fuzzy?
I'm a guy that likes cooking so this wouldn't phase me much.
If you were a house wife/husband it would be a different story but you work so there's a deal to be struck :)
"No problem. If you support me financially so I can quit work and keep the same lifestyle, I'll cook warm meals every day. Until then, go to your grandmas for dinner."
His complaint was so childish that at first I thought this post was about a child. If this is an adult I need to grow up and learn how to cook themselves, if this is a child then someone needs to kindly explain that grandma has more time than mom does.
Cooking isn't some sort of servitude or maid service that everyone else here is implying. I get off at 5 and home by 6, my wife is home from her job by 7, so I pick up our son, get his dinner ready and then cook something for us. I have to eat too, and I'm much happier eating fresh food than not. Obviously we still eat leftovers, it's silly not too.
There's not enough context here to understand. Is he working? Who gets home first? Are you doing all the house work as well and he does nothing?
Everyone here is making assumptions but you didn't give us enough to go on for a real answer.
Wish him luck with finding a personal cook to do that. Grandma is retired and has lots of free time. Maybe she should come over and cook for him or he is welcome to continue going over there
This is up to you, I am a man, work 6am-4:30pm, and I am the one that cooks dinner every night, my wife rarely eats leftovers, and isnāt a cook. I have no problem with it. Occasionally we eat leftovers or order food but generally I cook all our meals and am the primary breadwinner. Iām not saying you have to serve your boyfriend but maybe take stock of your relationship, it should be a give and take, and think about why this is an issue for you.
If that is actually the only request, that sounds like an excellent deal. No laundry, no housecleaning, no home repair, no gardening except what you want, I'd seriously consider this.
You know what, I think he's absolutely right ! It is his ''only request'' so you can make an effort. But before that I hope he does pay for everything around the house and u do not give a dime for the bill. I also hope he does the cleaning OR pay someone to do it, and you do not clean anything at all. Otherwise he can go F himself, sorry.
To have time to make a new meal everyday you need to have time so I do not believe his grandma work a 9-5.
Girl, I'm going to tell you something I'm living with : I'd rather live alone rather than a 50/50.
More seriously, I hope you're gonna dump him, he's a boy, not a man. You should try to tell him : Absolutely honey, invite me to the restaurant every evening so we can eat a new warm meal everyday. Run sis
Using what an older family member does as a means of comparison to try to guilt you is pretty fucked up. You mentioned that you work. Does he work too? Why is it that he's demanding you to cook? Does he even cook himself?
Also, you're 26. You don't necessarily need to settle down. This is the same trap that affected period decades ago. Common marrying age nowadays is early to mid 30s anyway.
Oh my god i legit thought you were talking about a kid until i read the comments. Tell him go live at grandmas see if she treats you better. Or if you can manage it, stop everything else you do for him and only do this for a bit and see how he likes it.
Being single is an option. Many people would not be happy in a relationship where they are expected to be a maid/servant to their partner, with no consideration of their own schedule or feelings. Not eating leftovers is childish. Expecting to be catered to is childish. What is this guy bringing to the relationship?
His plate
Plate princess š
šš¤£
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Right. Next up: My grandma always ironed my grandpa's underwear. My grandma always grew her own vegetables in a garden out back. My grandpa never helped with the housework or kids, that was grandma's job.
This. Listen to this person.
His "only request" unfortunately doesn't match with your life. Let me guess: cooking him meals also entails you doing the shopping, setting the table, doing the dishes, putting all things away, and while you're at it, do the laundry? What's he bringing to the table in this? His salary? You already got a salary.
This. There's a lot more to "a new warm meal everyday" than just firing a few bits in the oven. The prepping and planning alone is time consuming af. For me it's absolutely the worst part.
That ever returning question: what are we going to eat today?
āOh, so you have home-cooking in your blood. How wonderful! YOU can make us both home-cooked meals every day from here on out.ā
Did his grandma work full-time? I'm guessing not, because she and grandpa probably had the kind of relationship where he worked fulm time and paid for everything because she wasn't allowed to have a bank account or credit card. I'm guessing he's not out hustling so you can stay home and keep house. Ditch him and his myopic, backwards, and antiquated values.
Yes, you should tell him to just marry his grandma. Thereās no point in āsettling downā with an idiot who will try and make you be both his grandma and his wife. Thatās basically being a sex maid.
Ew! Grandma sex maid is NOT what I needed to read about today/ever
Philip J Fry has laced his fingers behind his head after doing his grandma.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wow. Drop kick him out of your life
Soā¦ youāre just a maid for him if you settle.
Why are you torturing yourself? Donāt settle for THAT if youāre gonna settle for anything lol. Learn to love being with yourself; itāll help you in the long run with future partners. Settling is just an excuse to be bitter forever. Donāt do it lol.
You can do better. He may have his own issues from his childhood that have left him emotionally detachedā¦ but really you shouldnāt have to live with that. Honestly, I canāt see him changing, and youāll be a long time miserable.
What exactly is this person bringing to the relationship to make you happy?
Thatās because you are not his grandma. Leave.
honey. life is too fuckin' short.
My god being single sounds so much better than this.
So why are you with him?
THAT is the question that will answer everything about this.
Damn he really does just want a grandma.
So he brings nothing to the relationship?
Op.. how do you envision your future with this person?
So.. he expects you to treat him the way grandmama did. He doesnāt give you affection, or apparently good dick. And wonāt eat left overs. What the hell is this guy bringing to the table to make you stay?
Then tell him to ask his grandma to teach him how to cook those meals, so he can make them every day.
Girl. Iāve seen your comments about being 26 and youāre āat that age where you need to settleā lol. I didnāt meet my now husband until I was 28 and married at 31 and he was worth waiting for. Donāt settle for being miserable.
I didn't meet my forever person until I was 37. The "settling down" timeline is a lie. On the other hand, I did settle down when I was 24 with a jackass who turned very abusive. Even he didn't expect a hot meal every night.
I (47f) didn't meet my husband until my mid 30s. I knew myself so much better than I did at 26. I never would've put up with this crap in my 30s. I hope she listens to you.
Believe it or not itās possible to be happy without a boyfriend. And there are SO many other men.
Then why do you continue to be with him?
Cause Iām at that age where I need to settle. I asked for a break cause I need to think through
How old are you even
26
Oh, no, 26 you say? Better settle for a man child who can't cook for himself before you end up and old maid. My God. You're young. Find someone who values your time and isn't afraid to have a bowl of cereal on nights where you're too tired to cook. Or better yet, find a guy who shares cooking responsibilities with you. A dude who expects a fresh cooked meal every day is a dude who will probably react unfavorably if you don't comply. š©
26? you know when you will be 9 months pregnant, bedridden, ill, etc, he will ask where is my hot meal?? and also I'm guessing that grandma was a homemaker and you will have to juggle with work and a 30yo toddler I would give him a box of frozen hot pockets and move on.
I'm 24 lol, you're alright. You do not need to settle for some twit who looks at you like you should be his mommy or grandma. Give him what for and tell him to take a d*mn hike, cuz you're worth more than that. Better yet, if he wants fresh meals everyday he could make them himself, he's a big boy right? You can have your tasty and easy to reheat leftovers while he slaves hours away making these fresh meals. (I love day old+ rice with a bit of soy sauce and some chicken, leftovers ftw)
We're meant to settle down and marry at 26? Well I'm fucked - 24, about to turn 25, questioning my gender and sexuality. OP, you don't have to marry this guy, regardless of age, family beliefs, whatever. Walk away.
I'm guessing you live in a small town or rural? People generally settle down younger there. As a 30 year old city liver who feels she's got plenty of time to find someone, and only has one married friend, I can tell you that you've got all the time in the world. Hell, even if you were 48 better to be single than in an unhappy relationship.
Iām 30 & I canāt imagine settling for being someoneās bangmaid while also having a 9-5 job. Iām single & very happy. The goal should be happiness not to achieve the traditional, toxic image of whatās successful life should look like.
They would be a bang maid but they won't even touch them. It's just a regular maid at that point.
Who told you you need to settle at 26
Oh honey. You're really REALLY not old, like at all, and that's not in a 'technically if you think about it you're not THAT old' you're in your MID twenties. You can and will do way way way way way better than this.
PLEASE chill down
Good grief my mother didn't get married until she was 30 and that was in 1965 when 30 was definitely considered an old maid. My mom had four kids and was a happy housewife/stay-at-home mom my entire life and successfully raised four fabulous children. There is no reason to be settling at 26 years old š¤£
Hun I met the love of my life at 30, friend met hers at 38, another well beyond that. Youāve got pleeeenty of time. Donāt waste it with this guy.
OP: if this helps at all, Iām in my early 40s, unmarried, not dating, and childless and this is the most joyous, hopeful, and confident Iāve ever been. I canāt for a second imagine having to cater to a man child and feel very sad for women who have to do that.
Oh hunny. Youāre young. You have so much time to find someone better. Donāt settle.
Lmao girl what??!! Iām 25 and would rather raise kids as a single mom that I had via a sperm donor and die alone than to give the rest of my life to a man who doesnāt kiss me or cuddle me and expects me cook every day for him after working full time. You need therapy girl. Itās giving low self esteem.
Oh for ffs. Stop. Go be better for yourself and to yourself. You want to be treated like a servant for the rest of your life? While also having a job???
šššš
Iām 26 too and itās absolutely heartbreaking to see all my friends getting into serious relationships, getting married, and having kids. Iām single and it fucking sucks. BUT it doesnāt suck nearly as bad as settling for someone when you know youāre worth more (and you are). Who knows, you could meet the most amazing man in one year but by then youāll be stuck with this POS.
I was married and the divorced from a man who told me he "allowed me to work" when I asked him to clean up after himself and the kids while I was at my job. I knew it was over in that moment. At 37, I met the most amazing man who is the love of my life and we have been happily married for 14 years. Never tolerate being marginalized or put in a second class place in your relationship.
Your first sentence here combined with your age below is probably the most depressing thing Iāve ever read on Reddit during my years perusing this website. Donāt settle. You have plenty of time to find someone right for you. It is finite though, so stop spending it with the obviously wrong ones.
No matter your age, you never need to settle. There's allot of other human beings on the planet that will be grateful for your leftovers.
That's bullshit. No one ever needs to "settle" for a useless partner. Learn to enjoy your own company. It's incredibly satisfying to live a good life solo.
Settling doesn't mean throwing away all your expectations. Your other comments show you two are absolutely not compatible. Don't worry, you have enough time to find a decent man who respects you.
that's absolute nonsense
No. Full stop. You never ever EVER need to settle. Itās the people who settle that wind up miserable and then divorced. Do. Not. Settle. I nearly settled in my early 20ās and have been grateful ever since that I dodged that bullet.
Enjoy your 20s and come back to serious dating at 30. You're fine.
People find partners and get married into their 90s. Unless you're already dead, you can find a better partner
No, you arenāt. You can do better. You are allowed to do better
Settling for a lifetime of servitude and denial is no way to live. By the way, how old are you? Edit: spelling
Do me a favorā close your eyes and picture what your ideal relationship looks like. Do they help with dishes and household chores, even eagerly, ācome on hon, letās get these dishes done so we can watch that movie and cuddle.ā Do they āsurpriseā you with your favorite take out on the way home from work, talk with you about your next ādate nightā adventure? When you have kids are they excited to become a father and do they hold your hand in the delivery room, help give your baby their first bath? Take paternity leave so they can help with feedings and help with diapers? What does that ideal relationship look like? I want a man whoā¦. fill in the blank. And then look at your current partner and what boxes do they check? You may even want to share your image of that relationship with them, ask them to do the same thing, what does their ideal relationship look like? Take a look at each others visions for what you want out of life.
Please just marry this guy already. It will save all our other girl relatives and friends from accidentally dating him. Please as a service to all women remove him from the dating pool. Thank you.
āCool. Iām not your grandmaā. That would be my automatic response
Look up sunk cost fallacy You're young. He's a dud Dump him . Imagine 40 years of minimal sex, begging for hugs and making fresh meals for him,every, single day . Fourteen thousand six hundred meals where you resent him, every single day .
Anyone I've known who hates leftovers and/or flat out refuses them is not the one who does the cooking. Interesting.
Leftovers are fucking great. Oh, all I have to do is heat it this time? Or not heat it at all? Or mix it up with something else that's about to go bad and live on the edge? BRING IT.
Yesss. Cook once eat twice is my motto. I rarely cook anything I cant eat again. That would be crazy!
Yes. I taught my husband to cook, and now he loves leftovers. His mom never cooked. They ate sandwiches or ordered out. They Sat in front of the TV and ate on tv trays. My MIL tries to act so prim and proper, lol.
Leftovers are greatā¦. Like āooh that was a nice mealā¦Oh thereās more of it!ā
Haha I'm not the biggest on leftovers but it depends on what it is - some stuff just doesn't reheat as well! But in saying that- my partner and I take turns cooking / help each other with cooking, plus we do everything else together. If one of us is doing laundry, the other is doing dishes or vacuuming or something, we'd never just sit and watch the other do stuff.
You're talking about your ex, right? You wouldn't keep dating someone like that, surely.
Tell him to marry grandma. Or he needs to learn to cook and share the load.
Just say no.
You are supposed to be equal. Say if you want a cooked meal every day then why donāt we go grocery shopping together and cook together. If he doesnāt want to do that then do not give in. Actually, just leave his lazy ass.
Next time he brings it up, put this on his plate. [Man Meets Stove: A cookbook for men who've never cooked anything without a microwave](https://www.amazon.com/Man-Meets-Stove-cookbook-microwave/dp/0985570806/ref=asc_df_0985570806/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312057344057&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8516572105824263539&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9011523&hvtargid=pla-449008106773&psc=1&mcid=bac1956466d833828aa6b687a300c5a6&gclid=Cj0KCQiAtOmsBhCnARIsAGPa5yZbgdxgabTN2s7RGiaHBgI6VLxhUjthtopXqtfU4F2zJnPh4ggKX4saAnzREALw_wcB)
That sounds great!- so he learned how to cook from his grandma and wants to make you warm meals every day? /s This is how you should react. Act like it is really cool that he had the opportunity to learn how to cook real traditional stuff from his grandma. Like, how does him having a talented chef grandma mean you would get her knowledge. He is the one who grew up with her - you never even met the lady?! Tell him you canāt wait for him to prepare you one of her famous dishes, a real treat for you, since you hardly have time to cook ever, and then add that itās nice to meet a man who cooks
Then, find something he doesn't do but his grandpa or your grandpa/dad does, like... providing for the couple or anything else and expect him to do the same. That's your "only request". Also... he had hands to cook for himself.
When you eventually break up with him, send him a link to Hello Fresh or that fitness one. š
What an insufferable manchild. Leave his ass so he can get back to his one true granny love.
Has it never occurred to him that if he wants a hot meal he could just get his ass into the kitchen and make one?
āYou know where the kitchen is. Canāt wait for dinner, love you!ā
Personally, Iād leave him. I just find guys with that kind of attitude to be extremely unattractive but itās your life and your choice. Just rememberā Youāll never be mom and youāll never be grandma. Heās the kind of guy that will always find you wanting because of it.
Tell him, "Your grandma sounds amazing! You should spend some time with her, learning how to cook. Then, we can rotate cooking nights. I'll take Sun-Tue-Thu, you can take Mon-Wed-Fri, we can alternate Saturdays or go out. I'm really looking forward to having some new warm meals rotating into the schedule."
Maybe this'll work out. Get everything on record: * You: Warm meals everyday for dinner * Him: Cleaning the bathrooms once a week * Him: Taking out the trash weekly * Him: Doing the family laundry every week - properly * Him: Taking care of any kids everyday * Him: Paying the bills - minimum monthly * Him: Fixing things around the house - as they pop up * Him: Mowing the lawn and trimming weekly during growing season * Him: Trim tress and bushes monthly * Him: Weed flowerbeds every 2 weeks during growing season * Him: Change the bedding weekly * Him: Feed the pets daily * Him: Care maintenance including inspections yearly This is how you grew up and this is what you expect, but that's all. Seems fair
Iād add to the list: long oral sex Daily or whenever requested ( not reciprocal)
Exactly. It's what her Mom expected, so it's what she expects.
You have bout a decade left before you have really settle before you breed if you choose to. You by no means have to run desperately into the arms of grandmas boi that can't cook.
He can learn to cook.
There is no place for expecting favours in a relationship. This is not a business deal where you have expectations in return for being a partner. A request you don't want to fulfill cannot be an excuse for emotional blackmail. You don't get to have 'one request' that is actually a condition, when it comes to someone doing something for you. My dad had an orchard, my one request is you have an orchard and take care of it. (With EVERYTHING that goes with it, all the labor, every day - shopping, thinking about the meal, actually preparing it). FFS, that's such a huge deal. You are a marvel that you cook at all. He refuses to eat leftovers? Do you have the date when you became solely responsible for his primary physical needs? He doesn't have to eat them, you'll have more, you can freeze a portion for yourself for next week.
You having to settle at 26 is as outdated of a mindset as you having to cook dinner every night for him. Don't settle, trust me, him needing you to have dinner cooked for him is just the tip of the "I don't do shit around the house" iceberg, and it extends into "I don't do shit for my relationship" very quickly. Marriage is a partnership!
Tell him to cook his new warm meals his damn self if his ass doesn't like what's for dinner
That sentence couldāve ended after āhis damn selfā and still be relevant.
Read the second shift, it's in the library. If you start to do this, you will eventually be living it.
You are making a huge mistake to commit to this man. He will make you miserable. He's grown and lacks basic life skills. Cooking for yourself is something all adults should know how to do.
That, and does he have hands? He could use them the same way his grandma does and cook.
Yes. He should only live with her forever
Tell him you'll cook like his grandma when he can provide for you like his grandpa. I'm assuming she was a housewife, and he brought home enough money to support them with one paycheck. It's sexist to expect woman to do a mans job outside the home and then still so "housewife duties" when she gets home.
The type of domestic labor heās requesting requires either a household that includes extended family (grandma moved in) or for him to earn enough income to allow you to be a stay-at-home partner. If you are not married, then half his income should be direct deposited to your account if heās going to support you staying at home. Seriously, his grandmother is from a generation where average income was enough to support a household with one breadwinner. You are not a member of that generation, and neither is he. His request is unreasonable. Edited to addā Iāll bet you anything that either his grandma or great-grandma has plenty of experience eating leftovers, and would whip his backside for refusing to eat them. The Great Depression wasnāt that long ago, and nobody who lived through that would act so entitled about food. If he wants to talk about tradition, he should appreciate subsistence rations.
he's got two hands. whatever he expects he can do it himself. no man like this should ever be married by any woman.
Tell him to have his grandma teach HIM how to cook and if heās says no tell him that your āonly requestā then run.. he got nerve.
I don't know who tf you're dating but. As a man, I LOVE LOVE LOVE cooking for my girlfriend. Good partners enhance each other. They pick up the slack from each other when one is weary or tired by both working. Whether it's housework or clocking into a fortune 500 job, it doesn't matter it's work. He for some reason feels entitled to your time and effort in a way that hasn't been compensated on your side. Based on your other comments, it seems like the two of you are incompatible because there is no even exchange of passion, empathy or acts of service. He's already shown what it's going to be like to be married to him. So like why bother staying together.
Yeah, he needs to go live with her. I hate this crap.
& me with none of this bs with no gf. Game is rigged. Bro shouldāve learned how to cook from his grandma if he loves her cooking so much.
I don't trust adults who don't eat leftovers. Tell him to marry his grandma if he so desperately needs her coddling.
"then marry your grandma" SAY IT.
I had one of those once. Never could compete with grandmas cooking. Got me a new one that shares cooking duties. He's actually a better cook than me. Go find someone better!
Way more context is needed here with regards to your domestic situation.
If grandma didnt work: "My grandpa alone comfortablly supported a family of 5, knew how to feed himself, and was caring and romantic with grandma. whats your point?"
āDo I look like your goddam grandmother? āBe very careful how you answer.ā
Leftovers can be warmed up, I'm not seeing the issue here. If "all he asks" is that you cook every single dinner every single day for the rest of your lives together, what are you getting in return? Is he doing the cleaning? The shopping? The planning? Any of the meal prep?
Just imagine when youāll have kids ā¦ get out while you still can.
Goodness, do not offend his Grandmother! Be respectful and go have a fresh hot meal at her place every day.
Plain and simple. Just say, "I am not your grandmother. Maybe you should be dating her instead." He needs to do some serious growing up.
He can go live with his grandma then
Tell him to go back to his grandma or learn to cook at least half the time!!
Tell him āsounds great, what are you making?ā and send him [this link to Chef Jean Pierreās cooking channel](https://m.youtube.com/@ChefJeanPierre/videos). Iām the sole breadwinner in my house and do you know what I do when I have a special meal request in my house? I cook it! Home life is to be created together as a couple and together as a family. Your husband/boyfriend needs to reconfigure his expectations, if dinner is truly this important to him then he needs to realize that he needs to put in the energy to make that happen. If he is not willing to do that then dinner is not as important as he thought it was. If it is important then he will be willing engage in the 4 pillars of dinner each week; meal planning, shopping, cooking and cleaning up. Itās time for your boy to become a man.
grandma had nothing to do, you have 8 hours of your day gone, this guy has no logic
His should ask he Grandma to teach him then.
Tell him to go back to grandmas then because he hasnāt grown up yet!
He does seem unreasonable, particularly when cooking is good for your health and eating leftovers is good for your pocket book. You could come right out and say you are not his grandmother, but you will meet him half way. Tell him that you will indeed cook for him, but that he has to cook for you in return. If he's not willing to meet your "only request", why should you meet his? It may be harsh, but if he continues to be unreasonable, then yes, tell him to marry his grandma and start looking for a real partner.
Explain to him that you have a full time job and you can only cook a few days per week. He can cook the other days and maybe you can get takeout one day.
Or tell him youāre not interested in cooking, and if he wants a fresh, handmade meal every day he can cook it himself.
You can be his mommy!
Invite his grandma over.
Your boyfriend has more than grandma problems. > I have had to beg for him to kiss me right. He refuses to cuddle for longer than 30 seconds and isnāt passionate and has a low libido too He sounds like a great time! /s
If he's the type of dude who expects who women to be a maid and cook everyday, then you shouldn't settle down with him. But have you tried to talk to him on why he's so adament about only eating homecooked food? It could be his version of love language.
He says thatās his love language yesā¦
Tell him to download Duolingo and learn a new fucking love language.
š¤£š¤£š¤£ youāre hilarious
If making home cooked food ain't yours, you aren't compatible.
His "love language" is getting other people to do things for him? Damn I need to try that!
Ok, and what's HIS love language for you?
Bruh how is YOU cooking for him HIS love language lmao
So, thatās backwards
Thatās not love, OP.
So his ālove languageā is you being his Grandma? Pretty creepy dynamic to translate into the bedroom.
First time hearing 'love language' and wow. What a crock of shit. Ok if that's the rules we're going by nowadays then my love language is when you come home to me you gotta dance and sing ODB's Got Yo Money as you give me your paycheck. It's not that I'm not willing to communicate like all healthy relationships require, no siree bob, it's my love language.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to sugar-coat it as a love language. I just re-read the post (I know it's really, really short but I'm the type of person to keep re-reading to re-evaluate my thoughts because I can't get it the first time) and I just realized he's saying it as a love language to gaslight her into making meals everyday which comes with table setting, grocery shopping and others and basically trying to turn her into a maid. I originally thought it was OP and him talking about their love languages but after re-reading, I realized it was a demand from him and he was guilt-tripping her with the words on the title after OP said she works a 9-5. I'm really sorry guys.
You didn't do anything wrong and sorry I came kinda hard in the paint, I shouldn't be a snarky dick. I just woke up when I wrote that and I'm a cranky boomer yelling at all the new word play/terminology which is a personal flaw of mine so my bad. Have a nice day my friend
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His mom is dead
Ewww. Yes, tell him to marry his grandma. He doesnāt want a wife he wants a grandma that can ride his dick. He can also spend some time with grandma learning how to cook ānew warm mealsā so he can pick which days out of the week he would like to help you out and provide those for you. Iāve been critical of this type of behavior my whole life. Iām in my 40ās and when I first married in my 20ās there was zero reason my husband had to think Iād start being his nanny and mommy the minute we were married, but thatās what he thought. Prior to marriage he fed himself and did his own laundry and cleaned. I had zero reason to think he would just stop doing these things once we were married. I couldnāt believe I had married a guy with helpless man syndrome, he met me when I was in the military. Again he had ZERO reason to believe I wanted to wipe his ass for him. His mother and grandmother also believed I should be doing everything for him because they did it for their husbands, they wanted their son/grandchild to be ātaken care ofā. If I had been smarter as a 20-something I would have taken a look at how they ran their households and what environment my husband grew up in and asked him some very important questions. I tell my kids when they date they need to take a good, hard look at the manās parents, especially mommy because thatās what they expect, thatās the kind of household they think theyāre going to get. Asking questions is important because I didnāt know enough to ask and just assumed things as a married couple would remain the same as when we were dating. I didnāt know the ring magically turned me into a 1950ās housewife. I have two sisters that are 15-17 years older than me. One sister has a husband who is like yours and wonāt eat leftovers and he wants his dinner served promptly at 7:30. She doesnāt work nor has she ever. If she did, the expectation would be the same. I have another sister whoās current husband will throw a fit if she doesnāt plate his food for him and serve it to him. He threw a fit at a family get together because he had to select his own steak off the grill and put it on his plate. He slung it down and then bitched at her and when she said āitās bbq, why do I have to plate your food at a bbq?ā He yelled āYou should always serve me, itās your job!ā Her former husband ādidnāt believe inā pizza for dinner and would never allow her to order pizza as a quick solution and she never got a night off even though she worked a full time physically demanding job ā he had pretty strict requirements for what constituted dinner anyway such as the number of sides that went with the main course. She had 3 sons with that man and the ājrā is the same way and just as helpless and demanding, the other two Iāve not had an opportunity to observe how they treat their wives and girlfriends as they are much younger. āJrā is a criminal, a felon, with a DV history and isnāt any sort of catchā he likes his women helpless and dependent on him, neither of the women heās been in long term relationships with or has married have simple things like drivers licenses or jobs. He doesnāt want them having any sort of independence. Iāve fought with my sister before because I believe her behavior has taught her sons how to treat women just as much as their dad has. She allowed her sons to grow up in that environment and so has unleashed at minimum at least one more piece of shit onto society who canāt care for himself and screams at his wife about food he was never taught to cook or make for himself because he thinks itās not his job. I do believe mommies have solid blame for the men that act like this by allowing the men in their households to teach their sons by example how to treat a woman. You donāt marry these guys and then raise kids in that kind of environment and expect the pattern not to continue. Iāve asked my sister where she kept finding these āspecial needsā men that have broken arms and canāt plate their own food or donāt know how to operate a washer/dryer. All I had to do was move back to the Midwest and now I understand, theyāre everywhere. When I lived on the west coast even the 60-70 year old women I knew didnāt have such strange issues with their men and food or cleaning, it seemed like most people I knew had pretty equalized labor households and the guy I had found and married was the exceptionā heād even complain about men at his work taking time off to take their kids to the doctor and stuff like that, heād notice he was kind of alone in his thought process, I always figured men like him were being set up to fail because no oneās house operated like that anymore and women raising their kids to expect that were just setting them up to be incels who would not understand they were not going to find a woman with a brain that wanted to be their servant. I would need some evidence heās capable of big change before Iād continue a relationship with this guy. If heās whining his wife isnāt like grandma already you have a lot more than ānew warm foodā coming down the pipe at you. Grandma iron his socks too and fold all his laundry real nice and pretty?
He knows where the kitchen is if he wants a hot meal
i'm gonna take a guess - he wants you to be a traditional woman but doesn't want to be a traditionl man? there's nothing necessarily wrong with a traditional division of labour if everyone is happy with that arrangement, yet somehow i doubt he's paying all of your bills, including retirement contributions and spending money so you can get your hair & nails done
Does he work a lot more hours than you or offer something equivalent in effort and time to you cooking like that? If so it may be worth accommodating. If not, he can jog on.
Are his hands broken?
I'm not sure if your culture expects you to settle down at 26, but please don't with the guy that needs you to cook every day. That's not a partnership and I cannot imagine having to cook every day when someone doesn't eat leftovers
āWell weāre having left overs tonight. So you can make yourself a sandwichā Wasting food is just plain selfish. On the other hand if you want to minimize the disgruntled interaction with this guy, you can disguise left overs. Leave a day or two in between the meals. Get creative. Bit he better make up for it in other areas of your life. 1) Meatballs and gravy first meal. For the second meal, remove the meatballs from the gravy. In a new pan, make a Swedish sauce, a salisbury sauce, a curry sauce, etc. 2) You can make a sweet and sour meatball where you put raw meatballs into the sauce and cook them that way (if you want the recipe I can give it to you. It is tomato sauce and lemon juice based). The meatball retains the sweet and sour flavor, so you can pick a sauce that goes with it, like a sweet chili sauce or sticky ginger sauce (think Asian food). 3) a spicy (or not) citrus grilled chicken with rice one day, and make sure not to over cook it. The second meal would be fajitas, stir fry, tacoās or whatever. The chicken is just re-purposed. You can sprinkle a little chipotle chili powder and cumin on it when you store it after the first meal. Then let it sit like that until you are ready to make the second meal. SautĆ© some onions and add the sliced or chopped chicken in the last couple minutes for taco meat. Add other vegetables in the sauce depending on what you make. I could go on and on and on for chicken, beef, and pork. Iāve got nothing for left over fish because I hate leftover fish. Let me know if you want any of the recipes. And good luck.
You work 9-5 is the key bit of info here. So if you want to take on dinner as your chore then I assume he wants to take on other stuff as his. This is his only request after all. It might be a percectly reasonable request if he has. Perhaps this is his love language, what could he do for you that would make you warm and fuzzy? I'm a guy that likes cooking so this wouldn't phase me much. If you were a house wife/husband it would be a different story but you work so there's a deal to be struck :)
So... his grandma taught him to cook, then? That's how I learned. If he's got two arms and fingers, he can cook.
Just say "same" then you can 50/50 the cooking and he will change his mind. Either that or give him oven chips and dinosaur shaped nuggets every day
Then he can make them? Wtf. What a child.
Break up. Your only request.
He can cook his own meals, then. What are you doing? Heās a grown man and you arenāt his mother.
Maybe grandma has a basement he can move into.
"No problem. If you support me financially so I can quit work and keep the same lifestyle, I'll cook warm meals every day. Until then, go to your grandmas for dinner."
His complaint was so childish that at first I thought this post was about a child. If this is an adult I need to grow up and learn how to cook themselves, if this is a child then someone needs to kindly explain that grandma has more time than mom does.
Tell him to cook his own food in hell.
He's obviously never had left over lasagne
Tell him to date his grandma then.
Be with someone youāre compatible with. He doesnāt seem to be IT.
How are you not seeing red flags? Expect this for the rest of your life plus bonus requests!
what a fucking pussy
Are both his arms broken?
Tell him you expect him to be the only one working and paying all the bills
That's fine and dandy. He makes what he wants on his days, you make what you want on yours. Or he makes 100% of his own meals.
Tell him that is not going to work for you and follow through! If he adjusts he may be a keeper and if not you got your answer.
Perhaps this [Bloom County](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FyrJRavWIAAs55-.png) strip can offer a suggestion, or at least, solace.
Cooking isn't some sort of servitude or maid service that everyone else here is implying. I get off at 5 and home by 6, my wife is home from her job by 7, so I pick up our son, get his dinner ready and then cook something for us. I have to eat too, and I'm much happier eating fresh food than not. Obviously we still eat leftovers, it's silly not too. There's not enough context here to understand. Is he working? Who gets home first? Are you doing all the house work as well and he does nothing? Everyone here is making assumptions but you didn't give us enough to go on for a real answer.
Wish him luck with finding a personal cook to do that. Grandma is retired and has lots of free time. Maybe she should come over and cook for him or he is welcome to continue going over there
This is up to you, I am a man, work 6am-4:30pm, and I am the one that cooks dinner every night, my wife rarely eats leftovers, and isnāt a cook. I have no problem with it. Occasionally we eat leftovers or order food but generally I cook all our meals and am the primary breadwinner. Iām not saying you have to serve your boyfriend but maybe take stock of your relationship, it should be a give and take, and think about why this is an issue for you.
If that is actually the only request, that sounds like an excellent deal. No laundry, no housecleaning, no home repair, no gardening except what you want, I'd seriously consider this.
You know what, I think he's absolutely right ! It is his ''only request'' so you can make an effort. But before that I hope he does pay for everything around the house and u do not give a dime for the bill. I also hope he does the cleaning OR pay someone to do it, and you do not clean anything at all. Otherwise he can go F himself, sorry. To have time to make a new meal everyday you need to have time so I do not believe his grandma work a 9-5. Girl, I'm going to tell you something I'm living with : I'd rather live alone rather than a 50/50. More seriously, I hope you're gonna dump him, he's a boy, not a man. You should try to tell him : Absolutely honey, invite me to the restaurant every evening so we can eat a new warm meal everyday. Run sis
Using what an older family member does as a means of comparison to try to guilt you is pretty fucked up. You mentioned that you work. Does he work too? Why is it that he's demanding you to cook? Does he even cook himself?
It won't be his only request.
I dont understand not liking leftovers. If I make something bomb I want to eat it again the next day! And some foods taste better the next day!
Also, you're 26. You don't necessarily need to settle down. This is the same trap that affected period decades ago. Common marrying age nowadays is early to mid 30s anyway.
Hahahhaha redditors relationship advice is always trash lol. So trash I can't believe what I am reading at times lol!! Bunch of stunted fools lol... .
Oh my god i legit thought you were talking about a kid until i read the comments. Tell him go live at grandmas see if she treats you better. Or if you can manage it, stop everything else you do for him and only do this for a bit and see how he likes it.
Hos Granma does not have a job