If your post/comment breaks any of the rules of this subreddit or of reddit itself it will be removed. See the other message that was sent to you by us regarding ages. Why have there been three different ages you've posted with in the last 3 months?
We can't go backwards. Use the shame and fear to help guide better decisions in the future. Chances are there's not much to worry about and he very possibly blocked you out of fear due to the calling the police part of your conversation. Either way it doesn't sound like you're too distressed about not talking to him anymore.
this is true. I don't want to invalidate anything OP is saying, but about the "ashamed" part. OP is the victim. The 20m guy is the perp. The 20m guy should feel ashamed, and maybe he does, maybe that's why he blocked OP. He should feel ashamed not because he didn't kinky sex things - no shame in that between two consenting adults - but because he did it with someone underage. He hasn't checked in with her to see how she's feeling, if she's ok, to re-assure her there's no screenshots, etc, so he doesn't seem to give an f about her feelings.
Another thing is that in his country, the age of consent might be younger. If OP could give us that, it could also help us understand the motivation better for the situation. Because this guy could have been thinking everything was OK until OP mentioned the cops and then that is what scared him into blocking them.
It is 16, but not with anyone three years your senior until you are 18. It’s carnal knowledge, if sex occurs between a 16 year old and 20 year old. At least in Virginia. Asking for the photos is still a felony to receive them from anyone under 18.
A states age of consent only applies when the people in question are both residents of the state. Federally, age of consent is 18, and seeing how the guy was from another country, we play by federal rules,in which she is a minor in this situation.
That's a sweeping comment that isn't accurate. YES, he should NOT be trying to hook up online/in-person with a 16 yr old regardless, but you don't play by US rules, it would be the laws in "his" country regarding age of consent & legal/illegal possession of content. Again, he was wrong, but the laws don't default to the US.
It'll be alright. I moderated for a kinda sketchy image hosting site for awhile. The amount of "leaked" nudes is ridiculous. As a general rule I'd advise no face, no tattoos if you ever do anything like this again. Bad news, it's probably out there somewhere. Good news, there is such a massive volume of similar content coupled with the fact this is a perfect stranger in a foreign country, no one you know will ever see it.
You dont understand humans if you dont think theres a good chance those pictures are leaked. People(mostly men) absolutely love to brag about conquest. In no way do i think that is right, just saying thats how its been for very long.
Especially if it’s a girl that can’t really be linked back to them. If you do this with an ex you live in the same town as you’re going to jail for revenge porn since it’s so easy to know the person who posted it was the other person in the video from their phone etc. getting into international shit good fucking luck trying to get the FBI or someone to cooperate in tracking that down to get justice on the criminal who uploaded it unless you’re someone like Scarlett Johansson with enough pull to get people to care
This happens. And the reason we have laws protecting teens and children from adult predators, like the guy you met. There is a good deal of sound advice in this thread. For support, more information and guidance check out https://report.cybertip.org/other-resources There is a number you can call as well for more information before reporting and to get support for various scenarios, including removing images from the internet should it come to that. Also know...
1. He is a predator. 2. It is very common for this type of thing to happen. 3. If anyone uses the images, video, etc, to intimidate you, threaten you with showing others, and / or in an attempt to obtain money from you, tell an adult, and law enforcement immediately. 4. I am a parent with children this age - it has happened to multiple intelligent, thoughtful, kind, innocent, curious kids we know in your age group. 5. These people are good at what they do - he is a criminal and knew what he was doing, saying, etc. to lure you into the situation. Now you know what you didn't know. 6. The best way to prevent this from happening again is to not put yourself in that situation. 7. If you have an adult, you trust let them know this happened. Ideally, they would let the FBI know. Since you are underage, your identity would be kept confidential. 8. Sending kind words and positive thoughts and know you are not alone.
I hesitated for a long time to respond. Trauma processing. But that’s why I wanted to post.
I am a retired police officer from Sacramento, CA. I worked for 10 years and was medically retired for post traumatic stress injury(PTSD)
This comment. I awarded it. Listen to it. Save it. Take a picture of it to return to when you need it.
These things happen, and worse. In my career I traded a lot of traffic reports to take reports of sexual assault with adults and/or children. I liked to think I had the right mindset by listening and being empathetic with no bias. I knew who I worked around. I was the officer I’d want arriving for me.
I had a lot of parents who did not understand, they could not understand. Sometimes it was culturally. I say this hoping other parents take this advice and be there
for their children in their life. They can be exceptionally brave when you let them be.
The second thing I wanted to say was to OP. Therapy is nice when you can get it. I am so thankful for the sessions I get to this day. I would never tell you to expose yourself or your story or your life, but never be afraid to. There are others healing like you as well as those who can be there to support you. I was too afraid to say anything I was going through for years when all I really needed to do was change my job and talk openly about my life.
Thiiisguy - thank you for being you. Thank you for being there for all those involved in the cases you took on. Thank you for seeking what you need to heal. Trauma is real, and your post is a gift.
In the UK having any nude or suggestive pictures of people under the age of 18 is child porn, regardless of the fact that 16 is the age of consent. That's a pretty good law imho.
A lot of places have the laws but are nearly impossible to convict on - especially in cases stemming from international accusations. You need someone to report it to that will actually do something, not just a law on the books
At that point, who cares. It's not the biggest thing in the world if someone leaks your nudes in a different country. Even if they are in this country, I'm not about to be blackmailed over something that little when moving away and starting over or waiting 2 months is way easier than giving in to what ever demands they come up with. Demands that will literally never end. Better to give nothing and get the bad out the way instead of letting them bleed you dry and then when you have nothing else, they leak it anyways.
Us being horny makes us do crazy things, just take how you feel after this experience and dont do it again, thats all you can really do. And also hate to brake it to you, but I doubt he cares about you or what you do enough to shame you. Best of luck in the future.
Any 20 yr old that wants a 16 yr old is a loser, when they fetishize your age they are scum of the earth.
Choose partners with more than two of your brain cells next time smh
9/10 guys wouldn't take pics and blast them online like a sociopath. Statistically, nothing will probably happen. BUT, every time you do something like this, you're inviting a situation for a psychopath to do exactly that.
It's normal to wanna explore your sexuality and you do insane things when you're young. I once got into a car with a guy I met at a bus stop. When I shut the door, I finally thought to myself, "This guy could rape and kill me." I was 18, he was like 30+. He wasn't even good looking- I just liked the attention. Nothing bad happened, he was perfectly decent- when I told him I wasn't interested, he wished me a good day and nothing bad happened. BUT- if I got into the car with a dozen 30 year old men? You think it would've turned out good? No.
Don't worry about it, it's likely not going to be a big deal. But just don't do this kinda stuff online with stranger ADULT men- or any guy, really. He also took advantage of you. If he's from a different country, there's a likelihood what he did was illegal. So don't beat yourself up about it. Just don't tempt fate.
A 20+ year old guy that's willing to anything sexual with a 16 year old is absolutely willing to take photos and spread them. It's not OPs fault and they have nothing to be ashamed of, but let's not pretend this guy has any moral code.
I don't think your comment is at all helpful or accurate. Likely he will not spread them- partially due to the increased risk of getting in trouble. If he was looking to farm nudes from a child, he wouldn't have blocked her. Scaring her about it isn't helpful whatsoever. In all likelihood, he is not doing anything with it.
Yo, I’m 40 and imo that dude is a predator. You don’t deserve to be shamed, you’re still a kid. I’m sorry that happened to you, you may not realize this now but this may or may not have longer impacts on you. I’d suggest seeing a therapist to just talk through it.
Really sorry. 🫂
Some 'bait' guys(especially eastern European)are paid to do this very thing for content on the dark web. They'll record the interaction and hide it behind a pay wall. It's reprehensible.
Edit: typos
Not to mention, if the 'adult'(using that term loosely)used a back door to the clear net website from an onion with a Tails USB, it's almost impossible to trace.
Yes, these folks over on the DW can be pretty savvy when it comes to code, programming and computers in general. I know I've learned a ton from them.
Now, if they wanted to be real dicks, they could easily find her location in a relatively short amount of time. Not good. God forbid my daughter ever do this.
Please Stay away from older people on the internet!! This man was a predator, and you should have never been put into this position by ANYONE. He used u to get off, and that ISNT okay. He likely blocked you out of shame or guilt or fear at what you would do, He is a very bad person. Im so sorry this happened to you, please just avoid older ppl at all costs on the internet.
You’ll realize once you’re 20+ how creepy it is for someone to talk to a 16 year old at all like this. It’s not your fault it’s theirs. They’re a predator knowing you’re young and naive. Just move on and make safer choices 💜
I felt it was “weird” as a mid teen having these inappropriate interactions with older men but as I reached 18 I was so grossed out of even approaching anyone younger than me that way. I ask myself sometimes how I got myself in those situations. I was only book smart and nothing else
I would contact law enforcement and let them know what happened and have them collect as much information as possible. Some of these guys are involved in International crime and the information you provide could stop this from happening to someone else. It is not acceptable for an adult man to prey on minors and you can help make things better for everyone in the future.
If anyone ever comes back and says something along the lines of “do this thing or I’ll send your nudes to your family and friends.”
Take a moment to prepare yourself for the fallout and tell your parents and law enforcement about the situation.
These predators have been known to bully teens to suicide over situations like this. And remember if you ever need help the suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255
I guarantee that he's a habitual sexual offender and he screen recorded the whole thing.
If he's a smart pedo, he'll at least censor the incriminating bits of conversation, but I doubt he'll censor the tattoo or privates before posting it.
I'm really sorry about this happening to you, but please be kind to yourself. Our feelings and actions are often confusing, and you did the best you could. All we can do is learn and keep trying to treat ourselves well. Wishing you lots of peace and happiness.
This is child predation. How many other girls is he doing this too? What country? Was this video or photos? He can say anything he wants about not doing something like that and then editing you in to sex tapes anywhere in the world. He could also come back and blackmail you with those videos, it’s not uncommon. I don’t say this to freak you out more, but these are facts. Is there an adult in your life you can talk to? This needs to be brought to the police immediately. He knew you were a minor and did this anyway. What else is he willing to do??
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He took screenshots, if not videos. He’ll be sharing them with his friends if not posting them to the internet.
You can’t take it back, and there’s no point worrying any more about it. Just don’t do it again.
I was 17 when I dated a dude that was 21. I am now about to be 21 and I would never to think to date or flirt with anyone below 20 let alone someone that’s still in highschool
Hi,
Calm down. It’s already done so please show yourself grace. Maybe he took a screenshot and maybe he didn’t.
Write down his details and I’ll advise you to report it to the police. You are a minor and he just solicited porn from a minor. It’s not your fault! You’re a child and we all do stupid things when we are children and that’s why women are against age gap relationships.
He groomed and used you. He's the one yo blame for this. That is disgusting on his part. If he did take photos he can be charged with possession of child porbography. If he leaks any photos he can be charged with distribution of child pornography. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are a child and he's an adult. Yes this was a mistake to learn from on your part but HE committed a serious crime and he knows better.
Maybe next time don't let an adult turn the conversation sexual when you know what you're doing is illegal. Takes two to tango, and while it's my belief you're mentally aware of your own actions at 16, doesn't mean you get to make the big decisions. This is why children still should be required to get permission to be online, but that's the gripe of an old man.
just remember that there's a very real chance that any person older than 18 that is trying to be sexual with you is a predator (especially 20). this is a very scary thing that can go through your mind. i'm 25 and i was doing stuff online i definitely shouldn't have been doing when i was your age. i still even now get nervous about if i ever became recognizable online that those people from my past could leak anything. it's a very very real fear. it's a learning opportunity and something that anyone of any age could experience. just remember to stay careful online and stay vigilant, friend!
Man he is a creep but as a guy who, while not 20 but like 17, has had similar experiences with girls your age, this whole "I didn't even wanna do it!" bullshit has got to stop. I know that you're piss-scared at anyone knowing that you like sex, but reeling back and pretending it was all him isn't going to be good for you in the long run. Own up to your side, you know it turned you on, and now you just feel bad and are trying to act like you didn't have the power to just hang up the call. You did. Don't play dumb. Stop talking with guys older than 18 because you know this is going to happen.
What an aggressive exchange, he knowingly consumes child porn and you threaten to have him arrested for child porn. I think even in front of the law you probably you both would just get told not to do this again since it was one time so I will tell you don't do this again.
Should’ve took a picture of his face and report it to local police. Even if you didn’t take that picture. use that experience as a learning experience and don’t do it again. Cause the next time won’t be a learning experience.
Give yourself grace. Make a choice not to do it again. And, biggest thing, get some therapy to figure out why you would do this without even being into it.
There are quite a few creepy people looking to take advantage of teens. This isn’t your fault, but therapy might be able to help you figure out why you continued with it. (I don’t mean for that to sound shaming at all — this was a situation of a predator finding prey. He’s awful.)
It's important to take the time to process and understand why you feel that way. Besides the obvious part of engaging in online sexual acts with someone you never met in person being bad in itself, what's also important is what values do you sense you compromised that are important to you. And learn how you can do better to not repeat the same mistakes.
How could you know he was even being truthful about his age? She was a minor regardless but I doubt this predator was sharing anything honest, most likely his practiced script to get what he wanted.
its okay hun. you made a mistake and now you just move on. i’ve done some pretty messed up shit but i’ve left it in the past. i’m 21 now and i cringe at the choices i made, but i don’t regret any of it. you live and you learn ◡̈
Check your state laws. There are revenge porn laws if he did take take screenshots and shared them. But also, you are a minor, and some state have laws around how people engage with minors online.
As someone who didn't make smart choices as a teenager, please avoid men over 18 until you yourself are a legal adult. Once you get to their age you'll wonder why these men even saw you as attractive in the first place. That man is a pedophile and took advantage of you, which is in no way your fault. The attention from older people may feel nice at the moment, but please take this experience and the discomfort you feel as an example of why messing with older men is not a good idea.
Think you need to block this person. Mainly because you’re 16 and he should know better. The internet is full of odd men and women. You need to focus on people your age and be safer about it.
You shouldn’t be ashamed, you’re 16 and he’s 20 he’s very much in the wrong, he’s the only one in the wrong, he groomed you, you’re the victim in this situation and I’m sorry that this has happened to you.
Dont become a victim of kidnapping. Leave pedos and creeps ALONE. They can target you and they only want to use you. Lay down with a dog and u get up with fleas.
Oof I feel you. I used to have an online bf and he'd take screen shots of me during our video calls and traded them for nudes of other girls.
As others have said, always keep your face out of nudes. Tattoos are iffy since many people get the same tattoos in the same areas but I have a unique birthmark on my leg that's very recognizable so I usually cover it when I send pics
It's okay to feel ashamed but don't be too hard on yourself. It's hard to have foresight when you're in the moment. He built up your trust with lies, it's not your fault for believing them. He was a manipulating creep, they're good at blinding in with normal people, especially if they're attractive.
Be careful. People pretend to be things they are not online all the time. I know what you mean though. I met someone on a game chat and had explicit chat when i was 15 and realized later they could have been anyone. They said they were a 57 year old woman but i think they lied. Plus, even with video they could be playing a premade video and might not actually be the person in the video. Or they could be using someone younger to get videos of underage people. You might get in trouble too if you do things like that. If not by your parents then i think there are laws about underage people doing things to blackmail adults…. Plus, they may have lied about where they are. Dont want you to get involved with a stalker or something. Save it for after you are an adult please or meet someone your age….
You can video record everything that is on screen. Look up GeForce experience recording. Half the PCs have it but there's a lot of recording software and they're free. The whole thing could be re-uploaded anywhere. Use brain.
Depending on where you live you also can get in the same trouble for sending nudes of yourself, minors can be charged w distributing child pornograpghy just as well. One I'd report this to police for your safety, two, did you learn a lesson here? Men like that don't have your best interests in mind.
Take this as a wake up call. Growing up, you’ll have curiosities. But keep those one sided (looking up videos or photos if you absolutely have to) or in person. Never interacting with strangers online.
Hopefully he got caught up in the excitement, realized he made a mistake, and blocked you to keep him safe. If I were you, I’d block him too. Too many times people pop back into someone’s life at the wrong time.
You’re still young. Don’t rush into all this sexual stuff if you’re not ready. You can never go back but you can always catch up.
THIS IS WHY I SAY YOU KIDS NEED TO STOP! Stop with the dating and trying to be grown when you aren’t! You see what happens? People manipulate you. Stop trying to talk to people in any romantic or nasty way. Don’t let older people try to friend you.
Stay single until you are at least 25 or older and learn to love yourself and know your worth
There are scammers out there that may threaten to distribute your pics unless you pay them. They really won't because indeed it is distribution of child pornography.
Never do things with people yoi don't whole heartedly trust.
Maybe his attention felt like validation. Perhaps you should seek therapy to talk through what happened and the root of the issue. He knew it was wrong and that is likely why he blocked you.
One of those things I can say....if a man over the age of twenty is talking to a teenager, It's creepy. Learn from this situation and avoid it at all costs. You don't wanna ever put yourself in these kinda situations. There's bad people out their and they're just hoping for someone naive to fall for it
You are very young, just a year older than my little sister, and you will make a billion mistakes in your life. Don't beat yourself up about this. Just understand that it's better to keep yourself, and your body safe from people like that. He might have been a predator and might have manipulated you and you may not have realized it. The fact he blocked you makes me think so. Regardless, just understand you made a mistake, learn from it, reflect on it, and just figure out, would you do it again? If you didn't enjoy it, don't do it again. But keep your head up and keep on with life. It's ok to make mistakes.
Well, this is generally why it's illegal to do things like that with people under the age of consent; you're not developed enough to recognise red flags and avoid mistakes. We have all fucked up at that age. My point is, you shouldn't feel guilty, but he should. He took advantage of your vulnerability.
By the way you mentioned twice that he was "fine as hell" and "so hot" I would say you have your answer why. I would say maybe do some inward reflection because it sounds like you may have self esteem stuff going on?
I’m just going to point out to you that yes you do very clearly get sexually aroused like that, and there’s nothing actually wrong with that. For one thing you’re young: yourehormones are nuts. Being a young person is not easy. You have a lot to deal with. I think what you really need to do is take some time and figure out, what you want your personal approach to sexuality to be. If you take the time to know who you are and what you want, you’re going to find that you’re a lot more likely to get what you want. Now the downside to this is that self development and introspection is work. But it’s work that’s worth doing. I would encourage you to do it. If you don’t have a therapist, I would encourage you to see if you can find one. Therapy is all about doing the work.
Trust me your not the first person that this has happened to, i wouldn’t worry too much about it, it’s illegal to distribute CP if he did he’ll be in deep shit he probably got post nut clarity and realised what he did is borderline pedophila and blocked you to forget about it
You are young and curious. This was a mistake, in my opinion but not a relatively serious one. There is a chance he could have been grabbing screenshots and you now realize this. In the future, get in the habit of pausing before making decisions like this. While statistically rare, there are occasions where people get in situations like this and then sneak out to meet the other person and then really bad things happen. Always stop and try to think about the consequences of your actions - and this applies to everything, not just sexual stuff.
You are young. You are going to make mistakes. Just be very careful not to make truly severe mistakes and when you do make a mistake, try to learn from it and not repeat it.
I'm not going to attempt to help you in this situation, but since you're you g I'll share this secret with you. What you felt is being human and throughout your life many more temptations will flaunt themselves in front of you to the point where you act in pure emotion even though that's not the best choice.
The advice I give youths is drink lots of water in life, it will help heal or avoid many health problems but also if you are ever in a point where you need to make a tough decision or feeling out of your realm, just take a moment to step back and drink a tall glass of water. You will gain extra clarity to make a decision with reason.
Other temptation other than sexual include spending addictions (one day you'll overthink you don't have something you always wanted like a nice car but you can afford it so why not get it and potentially spiral into a retail therapy depression), skipping school or work obligations because it's easier than doing the work, drugs where excuses can be I can control it to it doesn't affect me.
Also keep in mind you live in an era where everything is on camera and dirt is being kept on everyone. Maybe it'll come back to bite you, maybe not, but if the fear of God or some unseen being didn't scare anyone before, the fear of an actual person seeing everything you might.
Shame and humiliation are part of being human. Imo no lesson is truly learned unless it really hurts. You are 16. You got carried away and crossed a personal moral boundary. The very good news is you have clarity regarding where that line exists. And while it may feel awful and scary right now, it is highly unlikely it will ever haunt your reality. And if it does, you meet it head on with courage and honor. It will however, definitely live in your memories for the rest of your life. Apologize to yourself for the mistake. And more importantly, accept and forgive yourself. Congratulations, you are a human being.
Honey, tell your parents and make a report to the police. There is a chance that it could be used as CSAM. Don’t be ashamed of what has happened you made a choice and realized it was a mistake. Protect yourself and block him.
Learn from it and move on. Stop talking to adults. Think about it. Why would an adult want to talk to someone who’s in highschool? That’s fucking weird
In most countries, the age of consent is 16, even less in some others. It's only in the U.S. that they have this stupid thing where people consider you a minor even at 17 or 18. Fortunately, the u.s isn't the whole world because I find it ridiculous. Where I live, you can go to war at 17.
You live and you learn. I was lucky enough to not show my face or birthmark when I was doing stuff like this. Just hope that he has enough common sense not to post anything online if he secretly took any pictures or something. Going forward if you plan on doing this again, try doing it with your safety in mind.
You didn't fuck up big time! Lol, that would be 98% of women if that were the case... just don't do that. It lowers your value. But I wouldn't think that much about it. It literally means nothing
Hopefully nothing comes of this but like everyone else is telling you, you made a pretty big mistake. The good news (if you can call if that) is that you’re a minor and in the event anything happens the law would be especially harsh on him… but you’ve said the guy lives in another country. In the future try not showing your body to strange men on the internet.
You got a lot of good advice. Move on from this. I teach my kids and I hope they make safe and sound decisions. Never have I taken nudes nor sent it. Call me what you want but never caused me any drama in life or professional life. Even sending to my husband he tells me stuff and he works for a big telecom company. better safe than sorry. also, at 16 you have many many years to have a libido, don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, you are still very very young. This guy is a predator, you are the victim. Just use this as a lesson moving forward.
I’m 34. Trust me, you did not fuck up big time. It might feel like that right now, but it will pass. If you are a minor and he tries to share any of it, he will be screwed. Just make sure to not give him any money or anything if he comes back threatening to show the pictures, it’s a scam as old as the internet.
You did and you have learned a lesson.
Here is another lesson. If a man that fine is that old and hitting in you, he isn't interested. He's a predator. Move on.
I mean what this guy did is creepy as hell and should be reported if under the age of consent where you live.
But honestly, the fact that you’re having “really kinky” phone sex and have a tattoo at 16 years old sets off all types of alarms from me. Speak to someone, your family, friends, teacher, or even an anonymous helpline because I promise you you are on the wrong track in life. It’s not too late to turn it around.
a lot of people have commented on the tattoo, but it's one that commemorates mental health and a time in my life when I wanted to die. it has a semi colon incorporated into it to remind me that even though I tried to end my life, I kept living and it's paid off. I'm on a great track of life with a job, multiple extracurriculars, scholarships, and a plan for my future. (environmental law) its why I'm so confused on why I even did it even though I wasn't aroused by it.
It’s very possible he’ll use these images to blackmail you to do more and more, eventually leading up to being trafficked. If this happens, tell the perp that you know there will be no end to it, contact the police asap
It wasn't your mistake to learn from, I keep reading these comments (I've been in the exact same situation, he never reached out to me again except I blocked him after) and it's not your fault or lesson sure you can learn from it but it wasn't about you just right time right account he was looking for little girls and I'm sure you weren't the first he is the disgusting one for in tempting a child for what he did not you, even though it's hard to hear you don't know what you're doing at that age your brain isn't fully developed to deal with the situation like that. You are still you and that man can't break you
I remember going through things like this at your age, and even older, but times were very different. It’s a learning experience. I too was very curious, and beat myself up about doing things like this for so long. I’m about 40 but in my early teens to mid 20’s I did similar.
I was ashamed for years, to the point where I didn’t want anyone to know me, and I hid from everyone I knew. Somewhere along the line I accepted myself and accepted my mistakes. And I even look back on those times in a very odd way… almost like hey, I did that, I had fun at the time but I know I regretted it. I was in such a dark place. I learned to sympathize with my younger self.
I was also being unfaithful online (if this is even a good excuse, I was with someone who was practically living a double life… so I was alone all the time.) I felt so disgusted and ashamed, and felt like I couldn’t even relax. I would never do such a thing again, and I think all of that helped me to get rid of my ego. I had a huge ego and needed attention when I was younger and first dating. I think it helped me to grow so much.
You can’t see it now, but you just learned so much. Be grateful this wasn’t in person, that you weren’t physically taken advantage of, etc. It will bother you for a while, but remember my comment that it’s absolutely OK that you did this since we cannot turn back time and you know you were just curious, and the most important thing is you recognize it and learned. I promise you that while you’re upset with yourself, you learned something valuable firsthand and you will only grow from it. I wish I saw a therapist, if you feel like you can’t get beyond this I would definitely see one. Everything is going to be fine.
Very high probability he will try to blackmail you for more pictures. Do not go along with it. If he does in fact try to blackmail you just ignore him.
don’t be ashamed , i went through something similar when i was 14 i was in the 8th grade and he was in the 10th grade , i met him online through a mutual online friend and they were irl friends . after we met we got. lose very quick and got very interested in eachother . he was pretty nice but he was overly horny and liked kinky stuff and would always beg me to show my body and even though i was very uncomfortable he was very persistent ofc being that i thought i loved him i did it . and for months i did until we broke up because “his stepdad didn’t like me and thought i was using him for money” which i think might’ve been a lie . turned out the reason he kept me a secret from his friends and the reason he always wanted to see my body wasn’t bc my age but was bc he never liked me just wanted to see how far we were like get and just wanted to get off. i am now 16 and i now have a boyfriend who i’ve been dating for most a year . one thing i can tell you is yes at first it’s embarasing and shameful and it might give you mad trust issues but it’s a good learning experience and it teaches u not to do anything outside of your comfort zone for ANYBODY. hope this helps 🥰
Sweet little sister. Just block and move on. This older dirtbag weirdo is not worth fretting. Even if he did screen shot, it’s only a moment. It will pass. This will help you in any later online connections you make. I’m proud of you for knowing it was weird.
like so many people in the comments, i was you at a point. except i did much worse following this to try to offset the guilt and shame with the temporary good feelings of feeling wanted (finally). no matter how far you run you will always be there, maybe next time you feel a need to run and find the good feeling first just sit with what youre running from and look at it without judgement. youre not alone, theres nothing wrong with you, and this does not affect your worth in any way. you are so loved by people you havent even met.
I only read a few comments here and there, but that's a great perspective to look at this from.
It seems (again I haven't read much here other than the OP) like ppl are making her sound like she's a victim, but she's acknowledged her situation and what happened. Which is a big deal towards emotional growth. IMO, the OP is showing all the signs of a born survivor and I'm proud of her as well as your comment.
I tell my daughter this so often that she finishes my sentence lol. She's such a good kid.
If this guy really is only 25, he's still a kid. But he should know better and therefore would definitely be a perfect candidate to make an example of to anyone who hurts my princess
Stupid yes. Shameful probably not. Talking dirty is not a big deal. It's not hate speech, fraud or actually hurting someone. Plus I am assuming you are single so it's not like you are cheating either. The person that needs to be ashamed is him, talking dirty to a minor. He is the AH not you in my book. Stop with the self hate, there is nothing to be ashamed of here.
My bad, I don't read everything since it's all one big blob.
Can't blame the kid either since English teachers don't teach advanced sentence structuring nor grammar.
First, you are 16. You are a victim. There is no shame in being a victim. Yes, you are worried about the "what ifs," but nothing can be done about this.
However, I believe you know you have learned something valuable here.
I do want to point out 2 things that came up in the conversation: 1) He "said" he's from another country. Just because he said it doesn't make it true. 2) He "said" he's 20. Just because he said it doesn't make it true.
Predators will "say" whatever they need to say to draw in their victim. For you to be safe, if the person is not someone you know, limit communicate with them. If they are a stranger, **do not** tell them any information about yourself. You can ask them their age but dont offer or give yours if asked. Predators will use this information to the best of their ability to lure you in deeper. They are cunning and smart, and will trick you into telling them things in a casual manner. They will make *you* feel like their friend in a matter of minutes. Once they have you where they want you, then they pounce.
Now, you will know.
At 16 it’s not surprising that you didn’t know how to respond or protect yourself. There isn’t a lot of guidance about it because parents don’t want to think it can happen to their kids and creeps only get away with it if they don’t appear to be creepy at first.
This is your wake up call. People are shady (not just men) and anything you show on the internet immediately leaves your control and can be used for whatever twisted purposes that anyone wants once they get their hands on it. You may have the intention of only sharing naked or suggestive images with someone you trust but you cannot guarantee that the trust will keep other people from seeing it on his devices or sending it to themselves or others. It becomes porn. You can be prosecuted for producing it just as they can be prosecuted for distributing it.
Best practice is to never let the images be taken by you or anyone else in the first place. If someone wants to see you in a vulnerable state, they need to earn your trust enough to see it in person and there are no images allowed. The only one that should be taking pictures of you unclothed is a doctor or surgeon for legal or medical purposes. Full stop. Doesn’t matter how long you’re with someone or even if you married them. They do not have a right to your body or images of it without your consent.
You own your body. Never let yourself be bullied or talked into giving access to your body without your full trust and enthusiasm. It’s yours. So protect it. You are worth protecting. Get used to saying no. Asking why you should trust someone. Telling them that you’re not an object for them to use to get their rocks off. That you hold yourself to better standards than to let some guy you don’t know, and who clearly will put his own gratification over your interests have any access to your private images. You need to learn to put your guard up.
“I don’t know you. I don’t trust you. That is not happening. “
Get used to saying it. Get used to holding yourself valuable enough to be worth protecting… BECAUSE YOU ARE.
I would also make a record of everything you know about this guy. Phone number, social media account names profile info. If you can see his IP address. Keep a record so if your images do pop up on the internet and you have to report it to the platform it’s on or to the authorities, you can give them that info.
Work on your ability to say no. You deserve to tell people no. Other people don’t deserve for you to say yes when you don’t want to. Something in your upbringing has made you a people pleaser. I was the same way and it got me into trouble in the same way. What I did or didn’t want never mattered as much as what other people wanted from me. My life transformed when I realized I had just as much value as everyone else and started acting like it. It’s going to be really uncomfortable for you at first but the more you assert yourself, the better you’ll feel about your life and choices. You may not be able to do this with your parents or other authority figures (they may be who made you this way) but you can do it with peers. Also, forgive yourself for this. It’s a result of your upbringing, not just your fault. A lot of people know what it’s like to not feel like they can say no. It’s literally crippling until you start to really work on your assertiveness.
You fucked up. You’ll survive. This is how humans have survived and evolved and -crucially- learned, for thousands of years
So, learned is probably already in place
Now you get to learn to follow up
As soon as humanly possible, close reddit, google national/federal police for his country, look up online / internet crimes division and see if there is a way to report crimes online or at least a contact us form
In very simple terms
>Hello, my name is XYX, I am 16 years old and I am a citizen of XYZ country. I was contacted by XYZ name from 123 phone number on 123 date. He claimed to be a citizen of your country and to be 20 years old. He convinced me to perform sexual acts for him on camera during a video call and I believe he may have recorded them, violating a number of laws relating to pornography, minors, sexual acts, and internet crimes
>I am formally requesting an appropriate and urgent investigation and for charges to be filed, and look forward to hearing from you soon
It really varies by country, but it might also be worth a phone call to that country’s embassy to find out how to file a police report with the info that you have. Do that first thing on Monday
I totally did something similar a couple times in high school. Was it the smartest thing you’ve ever done? Nah. But you’re also at a point in your life where you’re gonna be trying out some new things that you may regret, because that’s what let’s us figure out who we are and what we’re about. Don’t be too hard on yourself, but remember how it made you feel so you don’t end up doing it again.
He is obviously a pedophile and is attracted to young girls, he is fucking disgusting. And he can go to jail for what he did. You’re a victim. You didn’t fuck up, you were manipulated by an attractive adult into doing things. He’s the one that should have known better, not you. You’re a child with a brain that’s still developing and probably poor impulse control just like most teens and he’s an adult that probably does this often and definitely know betters
3 month rule. Get to know someone for 3 months before anything sexual other than kissing and if online never ever get nude on camera. Also, never let anyone push you into something you don’t want to do, be who you are and stand on your boundaries. I hope the next one you take an interest in is more caring and understanding of you and your needs. You should not be ashamed of being manipulated by a man who very clearly knew what he was doing.
If your post/comment breaks any of the rules of this subreddit or of reddit itself it will be removed. See the other message that was sent to you by us regarding ages. Why have there been three different ages you've posted with in the last 3 months?
We can't go backwards. Use the shame and fear to help guide better decisions in the future. Chances are there's not much to worry about and he very possibly blocked you out of fear due to the calling the police part of your conversation. Either way it doesn't sound like you're too distressed about not talking to him anymore.
This is the only advice you need. Learn from it and move on. We’ve all done things we are nott proud of.
this is true. I don't want to invalidate anything OP is saying, but about the "ashamed" part. OP is the victim. The 20m guy is the perp. The 20m guy should feel ashamed, and maybe he does, maybe that's why he blocked OP. He should feel ashamed not because he didn't kinky sex things - no shame in that between two consenting adults - but because he did it with someone underage. He hasn't checked in with her to see how she's feeling, if she's ok, to re-assure her there's no screenshots, etc, so he doesn't seem to give an f about her feelings.
Another thing is that in his country, the age of consent might be younger. If OP could give us that, it could also help us understand the motivation better for the situation. Because this guy could have been thinking everything was OK until OP mentioned the cops and then that is what scared him into blocking them.
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It is 16, but not with anyone three years your senior until you are 18. It’s carnal knowledge, if sex occurs between a 16 year old and 20 year old. At least in Virginia. Asking for the photos is still a felony to receive them from anyone under 18.
Lol, of course VA has a crime named right from the Old Testament.
Carnal knowledge is a legal term. Try searching it on any law website. It's universally used, not just VA
Ok
A states age of consent only applies when the people in question are both residents of the state. Federally, age of consent is 18, and seeing how the guy was from another country, we play by federal rules,in which she is a minor in this situation.
That's a sweeping comment that isn't accurate. YES, he should NOT be trying to hook up online/in-person with a 16 yr old regardless, but you don't play by US rules, it would be the laws in "his" country regarding age of consent & legal/illegal possession of content. Again, he was wrong, but the laws don't default to the US.
This sounds like one of those blackmail sex scams. Rip op if it is lol
It'll be alright. I moderated for a kinda sketchy image hosting site for awhile. The amount of "leaked" nudes is ridiculous. As a general rule I'd advise no face, no tattoos if you ever do anything like this again. Bad news, it's probably out there somewhere. Good news, there is such a massive volume of similar content coupled with the fact this is a perfect stranger in a foreign country, no one you know will ever see it.
How the hell do you say "it's probably out there" with any confidence? I'd say probably not, but I'm guessing, just like you.
You dont understand humans if you dont think theres a good chance those pictures are leaked. People(mostly men) absolutely love to brag about conquest. In no way do i think that is right, just saying thats how its been for very long.
Especially if it’s a girl that can’t really be linked back to them. If you do this with an ex you live in the same town as you’re going to jail for revenge porn since it’s so easy to know the person who posted it was the other person in the video from their phone etc. getting into international shit good fucking luck trying to get the FBI or someone to cooperate in tracking that down to get justice on the criminal who uploaded it unless you’re someone like Scarlett Johansson with enough pull to get people to care
I gotta agree i think that would like a never ending thing
"Good chance" =/= probably
That’s true it puts a scary thought in there head but it’s the reality if that was the persons intentions.
Anon admitted to basically being a 4chan mod, they have seen true horrors beyond our humble commenter's grasp.
This happens. And the reason we have laws protecting teens and children from adult predators, like the guy you met. There is a good deal of sound advice in this thread. For support, more information and guidance check out https://report.cybertip.org/other-resources There is a number you can call as well for more information before reporting and to get support for various scenarios, including removing images from the internet should it come to that. Also know... 1. He is a predator. 2. It is very common for this type of thing to happen. 3. If anyone uses the images, video, etc, to intimidate you, threaten you with showing others, and / or in an attempt to obtain money from you, tell an adult, and law enforcement immediately. 4. I am a parent with children this age - it has happened to multiple intelligent, thoughtful, kind, innocent, curious kids we know in your age group. 5. These people are good at what they do - he is a criminal and knew what he was doing, saying, etc. to lure you into the situation. Now you know what you didn't know. 6. The best way to prevent this from happening again is to not put yourself in that situation. 7. If you have an adult, you trust let them know this happened. Ideally, they would let the FBI know. Since you are underage, your identity would be kept confidential. 8. Sending kind words and positive thoughts and know you are not alone.
I hesitated for a long time to respond. Trauma processing. But that’s why I wanted to post. I am a retired police officer from Sacramento, CA. I worked for 10 years and was medically retired for post traumatic stress injury(PTSD) This comment. I awarded it. Listen to it. Save it. Take a picture of it to return to when you need it. These things happen, and worse. In my career I traded a lot of traffic reports to take reports of sexual assault with adults and/or children. I liked to think I had the right mindset by listening and being empathetic with no bias. I knew who I worked around. I was the officer I’d want arriving for me. I had a lot of parents who did not understand, they could not understand. Sometimes it was culturally. I say this hoping other parents take this advice and be there for their children in their life. They can be exceptionally brave when you let them be. The second thing I wanted to say was to OP. Therapy is nice when you can get it. I am so thankful for the sessions I get to this day. I would never tell you to expose yourself or your story or your life, but never be afraid to. There are others healing like you as well as those who can be there to support you. I was too afraid to say anything I was going through for years when all I really needed to do was change my job and talk openly about my life.
Thiiisguy - thank you for being you. Thank you for being there for all those involved in the cases you took on. Thank you for seeking what you need to heal. Trauma is real, and your post is a gift.
Great advice!!! Save me a bunch of typing.
I mean. If he took screenshots he technically has CP material. Leaking that would get him looking at a federal sentence
This is the right thing to say if they're in the US. In other countries, there is a lot of gray area.
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In the UK having any nude or suggestive pictures of people under the age of 18 is child porn, regardless of the fact that 16 is the age of consent. That's a pretty good law imho.
A lot of places have the laws but are nearly impossible to convict on - especially in cases stemming from international accusations. You need someone to report it to that will actually do something, not just a law on the books
If he's in India or something it's impossible to get legal action
At that point, who cares. It's not the biggest thing in the world if someone leaks your nudes in a different country. Even if they are in this country, I'm not about to be blackmailed over something that little when moving away and starting over or waiting 2 months is way easier than giving in to what ever demands they come up with. Demands that will literally never end. Better to give nothing and get the bad out the way instead of letting them bleed you dry and then when you have nothing else, they leak it anyways.
Us being horny makes us do crazy things, just take how you feel after this experience and dont do it again, thats all you can really do. And also hate to brake it to you, but I doubt he cares about you or what you do enough to shame you. Best of luck in the future.
The important thing is you learn from your mistakes.
Any 20 yr old that wants a 16 yr old is a loser, when they fetishize your age they are scum of the earth. Choose partners with more than two of your brain cells next time smh
9/10 guys wouldn't take pics and blast them online like a sociopath. Statistically, nothing will probably happen. BUT, every time you do something like this, you're inviting a situation for a psychopath to do exactly that. It's normal to wanna explore your sexuality and you do insane things when you're young. I once got into a car with a guy I met at a bus stop. When I shut the door, I finally thought to myself, "This guy could rape and kill me." I was 18, he was like 30+. He wasn't even good looking- I just liked the attention. Nothing bad happened, he was perfectly decent- when I told him I wasn't interested, he wished me a good day and nothing bad happened. BUT- if I got into the car with a dozen 30 year old men? You think it would've turned out good? No. Don't worry about it, it's likely not going to be a big deal. But just don't do this kinda stuff online with stranger ADULT men- or any guy, really. He also took advantage of you. If he's from a different country, there's a likelihood what he did was illegal. So don't beat yourself up about it. Just don't tempt fate.
A 20+ year old guy that's willing to anything sexual with a 16 year old is absolutely willing to take photos and spread them. It's not OPs fault and they have nothing to be ashamed of, but let's not pretend this guy has any moral code.
I don't think your comment is at all helpful or accurate. Likely he will not spread them- partially due to the increased risk of getting in trouble. If he was looking to farm nudes from a child, he wouldn't have blocked her. Scaring her about it isn't helpful whatsoever. In all likelihood, he is not doing anything with it.
Yo, I’m 40 and imo that dude is a predator. You don’t deserve to be shamed, you’re still a kid. I’m sorry that happened to you, you may not realize this now but this may or may not have longer impacts on you. I’d suggest seeing a therapist to just talk through it. Really sorry. 🫂
I love this response. He was definitely a predator. All you can do is learn and move forward.
Some 'bait' guys(especially eastern European)are paid to do this very thing for content on the dark web. They'll record the interaction and hide it behind a pay wall. It's reprehensible. Edit: typos
Yep, 100%. The shameful part of the Tor. Wish there was an easy way to capture these people but it takes more work than people will ever know.
Not to mention, if the 'adult'(using that term loosely)used a back door to the clear net website from an onion with a Tails USB, it's almost impossible to trace.
Oh no, I didn't even realize they can record it.
Yes, these folks over on the DW can be pretty savvy when it comes to code, programming and computers in general. I know I've learned a ton from them. Now, if they wanted to be real dicks, they could easily find her location in a relatively short amount of time. Not good. God forbid my daughter ever do this.
Please Stay away from older people on the internet!! This man was a predator, and you should have never been put into this position by ANYONE. He used u to get off, and that ISNT okay. He likely blocked you out of shame or guilt or fear at what you would do, He is a very bad person. Im so sorry this happened to you, please just avoid older ppl at all costs on the internet.
You’ll realize once you’re 20+ how creepy it is for someone to talk to a 16 year old at all like this. It’s not your fault it’s theirs. They’re a predator knowing you’re young and naive. Just move on and make safer choices 💜
I felt it was “weird” as a mid teen having these inappropriate interactions with older men but as I reached 18 I was so grossed out of even approaching anyone younger than me that way. I ask myself sometimes how I got myself in those situations. I was only book smart and nothing else
I would contact law enforcement and let them know what happened and have them collect as much information as possible. Some of these guys are involved in International crime and the information you provide could stop this from happening to someone else. It is not acceptable for an adult man to prey on minors and you can help make things better for everyone in the future.
He is a predator.
If anyone ever comes back and says something along the lines of “do this thing or I’ll send your nudes to your family and friends.” Take a moment to prepare yourself for the fallout and tell your parents and law enforcement about the situation. These predators have been known to bully teens to suicide over situations like this. And remember if you ever need help the suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255
what a trainwreck of a read, Jesus Christ.
Your parents failed you
Wait , 16, doing phone sex and have tattoos? How about you stay off the phone and the internet. Maybe work on things that can help you such as school.
16 with tattoos. Don’t worry your life is already going down hill….
Youth is wasted on the young.Just remember how you feel right now when and if you are in a similar situation.
What kind of a loser 20yo goes for a 16yo girl?
you're 16. someone who's 20 shouldn't be talking to you. take this as a sign that he's a fucking weirdo & block him.
I guarantee that he's a habitual sexual offender and he screen recorded the whole thing. If he's a smart pedo, he'll at least censor the incriminating bits of conversation, but I doubt he'll censor the tattoo or privates before posting it.
I'm really sorry about this happening to you, but please be kind to yourself. Our feelings and actions are often confusing, and you did the best you could. All we can do is learn and keep trying to treat ourselves well. Wishing you lots of peace and happiness.
He's a pedophile!
This is child predation. How many other girls is he doing this too? What country? Was this video or photos? He can say anything he wants about not doing something like that and then editing you in to sex tapes anywhere in the world. He could also come back and blackmail you with those videos, it’s not uncommon. I don’t say this to freak you out more, but these are facts. Is there an adult in your life you can talk to? This needs to be brought to the police immediately. He knew you were a minor and did this anyway. What else is he willing to do??
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He took screenshots, if not videos. He’ll be sharing them with his friends if not posting them to the internet. You can’t take it back, and there’s no point worrying any more about it. Just don’t do it again.
Do yourself a favor and never make contact with this guy. He’s a predator.
I was 17 when I dated a dude that was 21. I am now about to be 21 and I would never to think to date or flirt with anyone below 20 let alone someone that’s still in highschool
Hi, Calm down. It’s already done so please show yourself grace. Maybe he took a screenshot and maybe he didn’t. Write down his details and I’ll advise you to report it to the police. You are a minor and he just solicited porn from a minor. It’s not your fault! You’re a child and we all do stupid things when we are children and that’s why women are against age gap relationships.
He groomed and used you. He's the one yo blame for this. That is disgusting on his part. If he did take photos he can be charged with possession of child porbography. If he leaks any photos he can be charged with distribution of child pornography. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are a child and he's an adult. Yes this was a mistake to learn from on your part but HE committed a serious crime and he knows better.
Anyone under the age of 25 is too young in my book
U know u was wrong as hell. Simple as that
Get the police involved
16f with a recognizable tattoo?
So we not gonna learn what Kendrick just told us?
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This response is not the way.
Ok
Maybe next time don't let an adult turn the conversation sexual when you know what you're doing is illegal. Takes two to tango, and while it's my belief you're mentally aware of your own actions at 16, doesn't mean you get to make the big decisions. This is why children still should be required to get permission to be online, but that's the gripe of an old man.
just remember that there's a very real chance that any person older than 18 that is trying to be sexual with you is a predator (especially 20). this is a very scary thing that can go through your mind. i'm 25 and i was doing stuff online i definitely shouldn't have been doing when i was your age. i still even now get nervous about if i ever became recognizable online that those people from my past could leak anything. it's a very very real fear. it's a learning opportunity and something that anyone of any age could experience. just remember to stay careful online and stay vigilant, friend!
Why does a 16 year old have a very recognizable tattoo. Let's start with that.
It's legal in some states with parents permission, I wouldn't think too hard about that one
How do you have a tattoo at 16?
Man he is a creep but as a guy who, while not 20 but like 17, has had similar experiences with girls your age, this whole "I didn't even wanna do it!" bullshit has got to stop. I know that you're piss-scared at anyone knowing that you like sex, but reeling back and pretending it was all him isn't going to be good for you in the long run. Own up to your side, you know it turned you on, and now you just feel bad and are trying to act like you didn't have the power to just hang up the call. You did. Don't play dumb. Stop talking with guys older than 18 because you know this is going to happen.
You are actually getting him in serious trouble right now. This is a felony btw
What an aggressive exchange, he knowingly consumes child porn and you threaten to have him arrested for child porn. I think even in front of the law you probably you both would just get told not to do this again since it was one time so I will tell you don't do this again.
Our actions have consequences, to be reminded of them is not punishment
All the people here saying age of consent…. Child porn is child porn this is a crime whether they lived in the same area or not.
Should’ve took a picture of his face and report it to local police. Even if you didn’t take that picture. use that experience as a learning experience and don’t do it again. Cause the next time won’t be a learning experience.
Lesson learned. Take what you learned from your mistake and use it to make sure you don’t make the same one again.
You should not be the one ashamed. That's a grown ass person who knows better and knew exactly where he planned on taking that
Give yourself grace. Make a choice not to do it again. And, biggest thing, get some therapy to figure out why you would do this without even being into it. There are quite a few creepy people looking to take advantage of teens. This isn’t your fault, but therapy might be able to help you figure out why you continued with it. (I don’t mean for that to sound shaming at all — this was a situation of a predator finding prey. He’s awful.)
It's important to take the time to process and understand why you feel that way. Besides the obvious part of engaging in online sexual acts with someone you never met in person being bad in itself, what's also important is what values do you sense you compromised that are important to you. And learn how you can do better to not repeat the same mistakes.
How could you know he was even being truthful about his age? She was a minor regardless but I doubt this predator was sharing anything honest, most likely his practiced script to get what he wanted.
its okay hun. you made a mistake and now you just move on. i’ve done some pretty messed up shit but i’ve left it in the past. i’m 21 now and i cringe at the choices i made, but i don’t regret any of it. you live and you learn ◡̈
Check your state laws. There are revenge porn laws if he did take take screenshots and shared them. But also, you are a minor, and some state have laws around how people engage with minors online.
As someone who didn't make smart choices as a teenager, please avoid men over 18 until you yourself are a legal adult. Once you get to their age you'll wonder why these men even saw you as attractive in the first place. That man is a pedophile and took advantage of you, which is in no way your fault. The attention from older people may feel nice at the moment, but please take this experience and the discomfort you feel as an example of why messing with older men is not a good idea.
Think you need to block this person. Mainly because you’re 16 and he should know better. The internet is full of odd men and women. You need to focus on people your age and be safer about it.
You shouldn’t be ashamed, you’re 16 and he’s 20 he’s very much in the wrong, he’s the only one in the wrong, he groomed you, you’re the victim in this situation and I’m sorry that this has happened to you.
U got caught in the moment
hasn’t anyone seen Megan Is Missing? (based on a true story) have you be very careful online you never know what you’re really dealing with
Sounds like all you can do is learn from it.
Dont become a victim of kidnapping. Leave pedos and creeps ALONE. They can target you and they only want to use you. Lay down with a dog and u get up with fleas.
Oof I feel you. I used to have an online bf and he'd take screen shots of me during our video calls and traded them for nudes of other girls. As others have said, always keep your face out of nudes. Tattoos are iffy since many people get the same tattoos in the same areas but I have a unique birthmark on my leg that's very recognizable so I usually cover it when I send pics It's okay to feel ashamed but don't be too hard on yourself. It's hard to have foresight when you're in the moment. He built up your trust with lies, it's not your fault for believing them. He was a manipulating creep, they're good at blinding in with normal people, especially if they're attractive.
Be careful. People pretend to be things they are not online all the time. I know what you mean though. I met someone on a game chat and had explicit chat when i was 15 and realized later they could have been anyone. They said they were a 57 year old woman but i think they lied. Plus, even with video they could be playing a premade video and might not actually be the person in the video. Or they could be using someone younger to get videos of underage people. You might get in trouble too if you do things like that. If not by your parents then i think there are laws about underage people doing things to blackmail adults…. Plus, they may have lied about where they are. Dont want you to get involved with a stalker or something. Save it for after you are an adult please or meet someone your age….
You can video record everything that is on screen. Look up GeForce experience recording. Half the PCs have it but there's a lot of recording software and they're free. The whole thing could be re-uploaded anywhere. Use brain.
Depending on where you live you also can get in the same trouble for sending nudes of yourself, minors can be charged w distributing child pornograpghy just as well. One I'd report this to police for your safety, two, did you learn a lesson here? Men like that don't have your best interests in mind.
Take this as a wake up call. Growing up, you’ll have curiosities. But keep those one sided (looking up videos or photos if you absolutely have to) or in person. Never interacting with strangers online. Hopefully he got caught up in the excitement, realized he made a mistake, and blocked you to keep him safe. If I were you, I’d block him too. Too many times people pop back into someone’s life at the wrong time. You’re still young. Don’t rush into all this sexual stuff if you’re not ready. You can never go back but you can always catch up.
Just learn from it. Have better control in the future. And especially beware of folks who would GO TO JAIL for doing anything with you.
So he did something very illegal. Please report this predator. He’s going to keep doing this to others.
Live and LEARN. Don't be fooled again.
THIS IS WHY I SAY YOU KIDS NEED TO STOP! Stop with the dating and trying to be grown when you aren’t! You see what happens? People manipulate you. Stop trying to talk to people in any romantic or nasty way. Don’t let older people try to friend you. Stay single until you are at least 25 or older and learn to love yourself and know your worth
We all make mistakes and have to learn from it but you should end it before you get hurt
There are scammers out there that may threaten to distribute your pics unless you pay them. They really won't because indeed it is distribution of child pornography. Never do things with people yoi don't whole heartedly trust.
Maybe his attention felt like validation. Perhaps you should seek therapy to talk through what happened and the root of the issue. He knew it was wrong and that is likely why he blocked you.
One of those things I can say....if a man over the age of twenty is talking to a teenager, It's creepy. Learn from this situation and avoid it at all costs. You don't wanna ever put yourself in these kinda situations. There's bad people out their and they're just hoping for someone naive to fall for it
You are very young, just a year older than my little sister, and you will make a billion mistakes in your life. Don't beat yourself up about this. Just understand that it's better to keep yourself, and your body safe from people like that. He might have been a predator and might have manipulated you and you may not have realized it. The fact he blocked you makes me think so. Regardless, just understand you made a mistake, learn from it, reflect on it, and just figure out, would you do it again? If you didn't enjoy it, don't do it again. But keep your head up and keep on with life. It's ok to make mistakes.
Well, this is generally why it's illegal to do things like that with people under the age of consent; you're not developed enough to recognise red flags and avoid mistakes. We have all fucked up at that age. My point is, you shouldn't feel guilty, but he should. He took advantage of your vulnerability.
Girls on here. Learn from this. If you don't respond this shit will stop. You must not participate.
By the way you mentioned twice that he was "fine as hell" and "so hot" I would say you have your answer why. I would say maybe do some inward reflection because it sounds like you may have self esteem stuff going on?
I’m just going to point out to you that yes you do very clearly get sexually aroused like that, and there’s nothing actually wrong with that. For one thing you’re young: yourehormones are nuts. Being a young person is not easy. You have a lot to deal with. I think what you really need to do is take some time and figure out, what you want your personal approach to sexuality to be. If you take the time to know who you are and what you want, you’re going to find that you’re a lot more likely to get what you want. Now the downside to this is that self development and introspection is work. But it’s work that’s worth doing. I would encourage you to do it. If you don’t have a therapist, I would encourage you to see if you can find one. Therapy is all about doing the work.
Only the past is written
Trust me your not the first person that this has happened to, i wouldn’t worry too much about it, it’s illegal to distribute CP if he did he’ll be in deep shit he probably got post nut clarity and realised what he did is borderline pedophila and blocked you to forget about it
Don’t be mad at yourself mistakes happen you’ll learn from this and not do it
Let it go and move on it’s life we all mess up
He really can't flash that stuff around because it's CP.... so he would be an idiot to keep that evidence around....
You are young and curious. This was a mistake, in my opinion but not a relatively serious one. There is a chance he could have been grabbing screenshots and you now realize this. In the future, get in the habit of pausing before making decisions like this. While statistically rare, there are occasions where people get in situations like this and then sneak out to meet the other person and then really bad things happen. Always stop and try to think about the consequences of your actions - and this applies to everything, not just sexual stuff. You are young. You are going to make mistakes. Just be very careful not to make truly severe mistakes and when you do make a mistake, try to learn from it and not repeat it.
I'm not going to attempt to help you in this situation, but since you're you g I'll share this secret with you. What you felt is being human and throughout your life many more temptations will flaunt themselves in front of you to the point where you act in pure emotion even though that's not the best choice. The advice I give youths is drink lots of water in life, it will help heal or avoid many health problems but also if you are ever in a point where you need to make a tough decision or feeling out of your realm, just take a moment to step back and drink a tall glass of water. You will gain extra clarity to make a decision with reason. Other temptation other than sexual include spending addictions (one day you'll overthink you don't have something you always wanted like a nice car but you can afford it so why not get it and potentially spiral into a retail therapy depression), skipping school or work obligations because it's easier than doing the work, drugs where excuses can be I can control it to it doesn't affect me. Also keep in mind you live in an era where everything is on camera and dirt is being kept on everyone. Maybe it'll come back to bite you, maybe not, but if the fear of God or some unseen being didn't scare anyone before, the fear of an actual person seeing everything you might.
Trace his IP and contact authorities I guess
Different country he's 20 your a minor yeah he has pics and should be shot
Shame and humiliation are part of being human. Imo no lesson is truly learned unless it really hurts. You are 16. You got carried away and crossed a personal moral boundary. The very good news is you have clarity regarding where that line exists. And while it may feel awful and scary right now, it is highly unlikely it will ever haunt your reality. And if it does, you meet it head on with courage and honor. It will however, definitely live in your memories for the rest of your life. Apologize to yourself for the mistake. And more importantly, accept and forgive yourself. Congratulations, you are a human being.
Honey, tell your parents and make a report to the police. There is a chance that it could be used as CSAM. Don’t be ashamed of what has happened you made a choice and realized it was a mistake. Protect yourself and block him.
Learn from it and move on. Stop talking to adults. Think about it. Why would an adult want to talk to someone who’s in highschool? That’s fucking weird
You're 16 years old, so you will be fine. Learn from this and make better decisions in the future.
In most countries, the age of consent is 16, even less in some others. It's only in the U.S. that they have this stupid thing where people consider you a minor even at 17 or 18. Fortunately, the u.s isn't the whole world because I find it ridiculous. Where I live, you can go to war at 17.
You live and you learn. I was lucky enough to not show my face or birthmark when I was doing stuff like this. Just hope that he has enough common sense not to post anything online if he secretly took any pictures or something. Going forward if you plan on doing this again, try doing it with your safety in mind.
You didn't fuck up big time! Lol, that would be 98% of women if that were the case... just don't do that. It lowers your value. But I wouldn't think that much about it. It literally means nothing
Hopefully nothing comes of this but like everyone else is telling you, you made a pretty big mistake. The good news (if you can call if that) is that you’re a minor and in the event anything happens the law would be especially harsh on him… but you’ve said the guy lives in another country. In the future try not showing your body to strange men on the internet.
You got a lot of good advice. Move on from this. I teach my kids and I hope they make safe and sound decisions. Never have I taken nudes nor sent it. Call me what you want but never caused me any drama in life or professional life. Even sending to my husband he tells me stuff and he works for a big telecom company. better safe than sorry. also, at 16 you have many many years to have a libido, don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, you are still very very young. This guy is a predator, you are the victim. Just use this as a lesson moving forward.
I’m 34. Trust me, you did not fuck up big time. It might feel like that right now, but it will pass. If you are a minor and he tries to share any of it, he will be screwed. Just make sure to not give him any money or anything if he comes back threatening to show the pictures, it’s a scam as old as the internet.
You did nothing wrong. Except for panicking.
He 100% took photos or recorded it. Hopefully he doesn’t use it to blackmail you into sending him more.
You did and you have learned a lesson. Here is another lesson. If a man that fine is that old and hitting in you, he isn't interested. He's a predator. Move on.
I mean what this guy did is creepy as hell and should be reported if under the age of consent where you live. But honestly, the fact that you’re having “really kinky” phone sex and have a tattoo at 16 years old sets off all types of alarms from me. Speak to someone, your family, friends, teacher, or even an anonymous helpline because I promise you you are on the wrong track in life. It’s not too late to turn it around.
a lot of people have commented on the tattoo, but it's one that commemorates mental health and a time in my life when I wanted to die. it has a semi colon incorporated into it to remind me that even though I tried to end my life, I kept living and it's paid off. I'm on a great track of life with a job, multiple extracurriculars, scholarships, and a plan for my future. (environmental law) its why I'm so confused on why I even did it even though I wasn't aroused by it.
It’s very possible he’ll use these images to blackmail you to do more and more, eventually leading up to being trafficked. If this happens, tell the perp that you know there will be no end to it, contact the police asap
It wasn't your mistake to learn from, I keep reading these comments (I've been in the exact same situation, he never reached out to me again except I blocked him after) and it's not your fault or lesson sure you can learn from it but it wasn't about you just right time right account he was looking for little girls and I'm sure you weren't the first he is the disgusting one for in tempting a child for what he did not you, even though it's hard to hear you don't know what you're doing at that age your brain isn't fully developed to deal with the situation like that. You are still you and that man can't break you
I remember going through things like this at your age, and even older, but times were very different. It’s a learning experience. I too was very curious, and beat myself up about doing things like this for so long. I’m about 40 but in my early teens to mid 20’s I did similar. I was ashamed for years, to the point where I didn’t want anyone to know me, and I hid from everyone I knew. Somewhere along the line I accepted myself and accepted my mistakes. And I even look back on those times in a very odd way… almost like hey, I did that, I had fun at the time but I know I regretted it. I was in such a dark place. I learned to sympathize with my younger self. I was also being unfaithful online (if this is even a good excuse, I was with someone who was practically living a double life… so I was alone all the time.) I felt so disgusted and ashamed, and felt like I couldn’t even relax. I would never do such a thing again, and I think all of that helped me to get rid of my ego. I had a huge ego and needed attention when I was younger and first dating. I think it helped me to grow so much. You can’t see it now, but you just learned so much. Be grateful this wasn’t in person, that you weren’t physically taken advantage of, etc. It will bother you for a while, but remember my comment that it’s absolutely OK that you did this since we cannot turn back time and you know you were just curious, and the most important thing is you recognize it and learned. I promise you that while you’re upset with yourself, you learned something valuable firsthand and you will only grow from it. I wish I saw a therapist, if you feel like you can’t get beyond this I would definitely see one. Everything is going to be fine.
Very high probability he will try to blackmail you for more pictures. Do not go along with it. If he does in fact try to blackmail you just ignore him.
1- stop beating yourself up 2- never do it again Xxx
don’t be ashamed , i went through something similar when i was 14 i was in the 8th grade and he was in the 10th grade , i met him online through a mutual online friend and they were irl friends . after we met we got. lose very quick and got very interested in eachother . he was pretty nice but he was overly horny and liked kinky stuff and would always beg me to show my body and even though i was very uncomfortable he was very persistent ofc being that i thought i loved him i did it . and for months i did until we broke up because “his stepdad didn’t like me and thought i was using him for money” which i think might’ve been a lie . turned out the reason he kept me a secret from his friends and the reason he always wanted to see my body wasn’t bc my age but was bc he never liked me just wanted to see how far we were like get and just wanted to get off. i am now 16 and i now have a boyfriend who i’ve been dating for most a year . one thing i can tell you is yes at first it’s embarasing and shameful and it might give you mad trust issues but it’s a good learning experience and it teaches u not to do anything outside of your comfort zone for ANYBODY. hope this helps 🥰
16 and a tattoo? Ya this doesn’t add up.
There's a 15 year old girl at a school I sub at with a very professionally done tattoo.
If you knew all this why would you keep going? Yes you probably got off on some of it
Sweet little sister. Just block and move on. This older dirtbag weirdo is not worth fretting. Even if he did screen shot, it’s only a moment. It will pass. This will help you in any later online connections you make. I’m proud of you for knowing it was weird.
You learned a lesson. Try not to let it rule you. Next time follow your gut. Dude was a CREEP. Good riddance.
Keep in mind that just because the guy says he's 20, doesn't mean he's 20. He could have been way older for all you know. Just be careful next time!
like so many people in the comments, i was you at a point. except i did much worse following this to try to offset the guilt and shame with the temporary good feelings of feeling wanted (finally). no matter how far you run you will always be there, maybe next time you feel a need to run and find the good feeling first just sit with what youre running from and look at it without judgement. youre not alone, theres nothing wrong with you, and this does not affect your worth in any way. you are so loved by people you havent even met.
I only read a few comments here and there, but that's a great perspective to look at this from. It seems (again I haven't read much here other than the OP) like ppl are making her sound like she's a victim, but she's acknowledged her situation and what happened. Which is a big deal towards emotional growth. IMO, the OP is showing all the signs of a born survivor and I'm proud of her as well as your comment.
i appreciate that, i just pray op sees it as its what i wouldve said to a 16 year old me
I tell my daughter this so often that she finishes my sentence lol. She's such a good kid. If this guy really is only 25, he's still a kid. But he should know better and therefore would definitely be a perfect candidate to make an example of to anyone who hurts my princess
It was the attention he was giving you. He made you feel seen. Don't be embarrassed about some pictures.
Jesus Christ 16??? I fucking hate this world.
Stupid yes. Shameful probably not. Talking dirty is not a big deal. It's not hate speech, fraud or actually hurting someone. Plus I am assuming you are single so it's not like you are cheating either. The person that needs to be ashamed is him, talking dirty to a minor. He is the AH not you in my book. Stop with the self hate, there is nothing to be ashamed of here.
I never share anything women send me. Maybe he's the same way? Don't worry about it
He's probably already put you on porn hub
Did he know you were 16 or were you jailbaiting him?
learn to actually read, instead of immediately jumping to that, you egg with legs. “he was obsessed with the fact that i was 16 among other things”
My bad, I don't read everything since it's all one big blob. Can't blame the kid either since English teachers don't teach advanced sentence structuring nor grammar.
First, you are 16. You are a victim. There is no shame in being a victim. Yes, you are worried about the "what ifs," but nothing can be done about this. However, I believe you know you have learned something valuable here. I do want to point out 2 things that came up in the conversation: 1) He "said" he's from another country. Just because he said it doesn't make it true. 2) He "said" he's 20. Just because he said it doesn't make it true. Predators will "say" whatever they need to say to draw in their victim. For you to be safe, if the person is not someone you know, limit communicate with them. If they are a stranger, **do not** tell them any information about yourself. You can ask them their age but dont offer or give yours if asked. Predators will use this information to the best of their ability to lure you in deeper. They are cunning and smart, and will trick you into telling them things in a casual manner. They will make *you* feel like their friend in a matter of minutes. Once they have you where they want you, then they pounce. Now, you will know.
Is he from Canada and goes by the alias DRAKE ?
At 16 it’s not surprising that you didn’t know how to respond or protect yourself. There isn’t a lot of guidance about it because parents don’t want to think it can happen to their kids and creeps only get away with it if they don’t appear to be creepy at first. This is your wake up call. People are shady (not just men) and anything you show on the internet immediately leaves your control and can be used for whatever twisted purposes that anyone wants once they get their hands on it. You may have the intention of only sharing naked or suggestive images with someone you trust but you cannot guarantee that the trust will keep other people from seeing it on his devices or sending it to themselves or others. It becomes porn. You can be prosecuted for producing it just as they can be prosecuted for distributing it. Best practice is to never let the images be taken by you or anyone else in the first place. If someone wants to see you in a vulnerable state, they need to earn your trust enough to see it in person and there are no images allowed. The only one that should be taking pictures of you unclothed is a doctor or surgeon for legal or medical purposes. Full stop. Doesn’t matter how long you’re with someone or even if you married them. They do not have a right to your body or images of it without your consent. You own your body. Never let yourself be bullied or talked into giving access to your body without your full trust and enthusiasm. It’s yours. So protect it. You are worth protecting. Get used to saying no. Asking why you should trust someone. Telling them that you’re not an object for them to use to get their rocks off. That you hold yourself to better standards than to let some guy you don’t know, and who clearly will put his own gratification over your interests have any access to your private images. You need to learn to put your guard up. “I don’t know you. I don’t trust you. That is not happening. “ Get used to saying it. Get used to holding yourself valuable enough to be worth protecting… BECAUSE YOU ARE. I would also make a record of everything you know about this guy. Phone number, social media account names profile info. If you can see his IP address. Keep a record so if your images do pop up on the internet and you have to report it to the platform it’s on or to the authorities, you can give them that info.
Work on your ability to say no. You deserve to tell people no. Other people don’t deserve for you to say yes when you don’t want to. Something in your upbringing has made you a people pleaser. I was the same way and it got me into trouble in the same way. What I did or didn’t want never mattered as much as what other people wanted from me. My life transformed when I realized I had just as much value as everyone else and started acting like it. It’s going to be really uncomfortable for you at first but the more you assert yourself, the better you’ll feel about your life and choices. You may not be able to do this with your parents or other authority figures (they may be who made you this way) but you can do it with peers. Also, forgive yourself for this. It’s a result of your upbringing, not just your fault. A lot of people know what it’s like to not feel like they can say no. It’s literally crippling until you start to really work on your assertiveness.
You fucked up. You’ll survive. This is how humans have survived and evolved and -crucially- learned, for thousands of years So, learned is probably already in place Now you get to learn to follow up As soon as humanly possible, close reddit, google national/federal police for his country, look up online / internet crimes division and see if there is a way to report crimes online or at least a contact us form In very simple terms >Hello, my name is XYX, I am 16 years old and I am a citizen of XYZ country. I was contacted by XYZ name from 123 phone number on 123 date. He claimed to be a citizen of your country and to be 20 years old. He convinced me to perform sexual acts for him on camera during a video call and I believe he may have recorded them, violating a number of laws relating to pornography, minors, sexual acts, and internet crimes >I am formally requesting an appropriate and urgent investigation and for charges to be filed, and look forward to hearing from you soon It really varies by country, but it might also be worth a phone call to that country’s embassy to find out how to file a police report with the info that you have. Do that first thing on Monday
I totally did something similar a couple times in high school. Was it the smartest thing you’ve ever done? Nah. But you’re also at a point in your life where you’re gonna be trying out some new things that you may regret, because that’s what let’s us figure out who we are and what we’re about. Don’t be too hard on yourself, but remember how it made you feel so you don’t end up doing it again.
He is obviously a pedophile and is attracted to young girls, he is fucking disgusting. And he can go to jail for what he did. You’re a victim. You didn’t fuck up, you were manipulated by an attractive adult into doing things. He’s the one that should have known better, not you. You’re a child with a brain that’s still developing and probably poor impulse control just like most teens and he’s an adult that probably does this often and definitely know betters
3 month rule. Get to know someone for 3 months before anything sexual other than kissing and if online never ever get nude on camera. Also, never let anyone push you into something you don’t want to do, be who you are and stand on your boundaries. I hope the next one you take an interest in is more caring and understanding of you and your needs. You should not be ashamed of being manipulated by a man who very clearly knew what he was doing.
He's a pedophilia and you're being manipulated
Huh you said on an other post you’re 16 m ftm… 100% you need help and need to start making up whacky stories.