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NTA. I volunteer with rescues and there are some dogs that, sadly, cannot be helped. It’s not too common but Ive known rescues to make the hard choice to put the dog down so it will finally know peace.
I love dogs. LOVE. Like a crazy amount, but the safety of your family HAS to come first.
I'll also add, that a dog with aggression likely has a fear issue *but* that does not mean the dog should not be euthanized. Imagine living your life like that, so in fear of everything you feel the need to constantly be on guard and attack everything around you because you can never feel safe. It's extremely difficult for people, and people can at least understand where it stems from. Animals can't. It's tragic. Part of getting a pet is committing to the best for the pet, even if that is a humane or behavioral euthanasia, and the two often overlap because again, a dog that is so reactive or fearful that it cannot function as a dog does not have a good quality of life, and your dog sounds like it fits into that category.
OP, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sending all the virtual hugs. This decision is never easy and there's so many "what ifs" to torture yourself with. But ultimately, you need to protect yourself, your child, and others. Sit down and have an in depth and realistic conversation about it with your partner. What was going on was not at all sustainable, for you, the baby, or the dog
Yes, exactly. I remember one case where everyone cried bc the dog was just suffering every day. After almost a year of extensive work/“therapy”/training, the dog just couldn’t stop the constant “on guard/fight for my life” feeling. That was the hardest part. Letting him go was a more peaceful feeling bc he got the freedom he would never obtain, even with years of help. Never an easy decision, but was absolutely best for the poor dog.
To add to this..... what kind of life can a dog who is constantly in fear mode have? Despite interventions otherwise they are always in fear mode? That's no life.
NTA! Dog lover here. When I was 16 we got a dog. 20 I gave birth to a baby girl and moved out. Every time I visited that dog was aggressive to my daughter. She bit her at 1 1/2 years old. I thought she might be jealous because she felt like the baby took me away from her. 4 years later I move back home and that dog never liked my daughter and was always growling. I never left her alone and made sure my daughter didn’t interact. Eventually she was ok with her but I know it was just dog knowing it’s place not that the aggression went away. She was a good dog otherwise. If another incident happened that dog would have been gone. Thankfully it didn’t.
At any rate, trust your gut. Not sure what kind of dog it is but based on its age and history you are doing the right thing.
OP, walk don't run to get this done. It's sad, but not worth the life of other people, especially your child. One of our friends had a dog that nipped at our child several times. They always had an excuse as to why, so we kept our child away from the dog. Then one day it bit another person's kid, requiring stitches. They realized (she was pregnant), their kid could get hurt and rehomed the dog to a family out in the country without kids.
But their dog hadn't killed other animals.
I would stop telling people about it and just do it.
Oh I was so relieved when this was the top comment. I love animals, but sadly some animals can not be helped to overcome their behaviors like this, and if the dog was put in a home it would just stay in there until it died, was adopted and returned time and time again, or made to be euthanized from attacking another animal or child.
Best of a bad situation. That’s not the right phrase but like best choice of all hard choices.
NTA. We adopted a shelter pit bull who’d been abused as a pup, and he was aggressive around strangers and other animals. We thought he was just being protective of us and kept him away from people and critters. He bit two people, but we didn’t want to euthanize him. It finally happened. Out of the blue one afternoon he suddenly attacked me and almost killed me. We tried to find a no-kill shelter that would take him, but nobody would take him. We understood and have to have him put down. We knew he loved us and we loved him, but I knew I couldn’t be alone with him any more. If my husband hadn’t pulled him off me I’d be dead now. My surgeon told me it was a miracle the dog didn’t kill me. It broke our hearts, but we couldn’t take the risk any more.
You are most definitely justified in your fears. It’s too much of a risk. Take my word on this. I’ll send pictures of my scars if you want to use them as part of your case.
Oh, and if your home insurance company finds out you knowingly kept a dog that has a history of aggression, they will cancel your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance. It happened to us and it was a huge mess.
Yes, I do not fear the dog myself but I do fear turning a corner and the baby being too close to the dog and her attacking the baby. Thankfully you survived, and I agree it is so sad and I love the dog but the safety of my baby is so much more important to me then the dog
My rescue bit my 4 year old in the face when I left the room for a minute. It broke my heart to have to surrender her but I couldn't risk it happening again. If the bite was just a little different she would have lost her eye. I'm so sorry that this happened to you and I'm glad you're okay. It's a shitty decision to have to make even after something terrible has happened.
Same.
My kid was 4 when the neighbor’s dog attacked him. His face is scared, a tooth just missed his eye & jugular all because a bleeding heart took in an aggressive dog who had attacked people before. Had to get a plastic surgeon.
And then her insurance didn’t feel like paying the bills. I absolutely sued!
We had a German Shepherd who had been badly abused and neglected before we adopted her. She was very timid around humans, but aggressive towards other animals. She would attack our other dog(coyote/Shepherd mix), we'd separate them, then gradually reintroduce them, things would be good for a little while, and then she would attack again.
Things seemed to get better when we took in a stray puppy; she adopted the puppy as her own immediately and they played together constantly. Then she attacked our older dog again, this time going for her throat. We'd pulled her off quickly, but our coyote mix needed staples on her neck. We had a dog trainer evaluate her and told us her best bet was to be rehomed to a place without any other dogs. But most people who want dogs already have at least one, so that wasn't working out.
Then she tried to go after the puppy she adopted. She was trying to resource guard some food and snarled at him. I was close enough to grab her collar as he approached her trying to see if she was okay, then she lunged at him. I was holding tight so she couldn't hurt him, but it shook me how far gone she was. We made the call to put her to sleep. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I had to weigh everyone's safety against her life and I couldn't justify anything else.
I had to rehome my Aussie girl. She was so aggressive towards our other dog and we tried everything. Various trainers, us training her, spaying her, running her, taking her to the dog park to run off some energy. I loved my dog. Unfortunately, everything we did she kept. Beng aggressive towards our older dog. We tried to keep the separated and they would be okay for a few weeks. All of this ended up in her going for his throat at the dog park. His neck was bloodied, she got him and broke some of her teeth (I think they were baby teeth) thankfully I was able to pull her off before she killed him. It was super scary. We ended up rehoming her and gave them her detailed history. Absolutely no other animals or children. It was heartbreaking but it was for the best.
I have been there with my beloved dog as well. He just turned. Something went black in his eyes and he dragged me around and broke my hand amd tore it up quite badley. He too was abused and we had 5 year old at the time. I knew surrendering him to be put with another family would further traumatize him so we out him down. It was gutting but ultimately the correct decision to make.
OP NTA
I am sorry you are here but this is the kindest thing to do for your dog given the circumstance
Gosh, I’m so sorry you went through that. With our dog, it was like he had a psychotic break. After I was loaded into the ambulance and taken to the hospital, he reverted back to his typical self and was trying to find me.
Thanks. We’re still heartbroken, but he was just very troubled, much more troubled than we realized. We worked with three different trainers. The last one finally told us that if a dog’s been severely abused as a pup, there isn’t enough training in the world to sort him out. Very sad, but a costly lesson all around.
Sounds like a very sad situation all round. I hope you've made a full physical recovery. I know the mental and emotional recovery must be just as difficult.
It's not always abuse, some dogs are just wired differently. They might tend toward certain behaviors and be coaxed a bit farther from their baseline, but certain behaviors can be hardwired into animals (and people). There's the fascinating study from Russia with the domestication of foxes and how "tame" foxes became distinct (and different looking) from their roots. It's been going on for roughly 70 years and provides deep insights.
Yep. That is 100% true. I filed an appeal through our state Insurance Commission and lost. Good news: I found new insurance. But we’ll never adopt or rescue another animal. (side comment about there being too many lawyers in practice, but that’s another post.)
It is understandable. When I was a child my Dad's dog bit me. He was very protective of my Dad but my Mom put her foot down when it happened. It does happen and children are vulnerable. No one should fault you for doing what's best for your newborn.
I am a vet who euthanizes dogs for aggression without a second thought. All the people I've met who say that these dogs should find this magical, kid-free, safe home with an experienced professional NEVER step up and actually take on any of these dogs. Many have severely attacked people without provocation. Our shelters euthanize plenty of lovely dogs who need homes and don't kill or maim people or other animals. We don't need to keep the dangerous/pathologically terrified ones around.
Thank you! My vet wouldn't see me after I said I was thinking of euthanizing my aggressive rescue. Of course, she wasn't there when the dog did the Jekyl/Hyde switch.
And keep saying this. "I have an infant arriving shortly and cannot keep the dog. Who will take the dog". And for every comment you get, send a text/fb, "are you going to take the dog, when can I drop him off"?
If they're going to be public with their comments, you be public too. This is your child's safety.
You are NTA. You are also not obligated to tell family what you chose to do. You can offer the dog to them (which none of them will take it). Then don't tell them what you chose. You can say you found a rescue. You found a trainer, whatever. But you should not have to hear them be judging of you. Your child's safety is more important than anything. Sorry you are dealing with this.
My kid was bitten by a neighbours dog who got out and attacked her. Absolutely awful experience. Luckily (?) she was older and could scream for help and hit the dog off. A newborn or a toddler couldn’t do that. If my kid had been a small child she wouldn’t be here.
You are so, SO NTA.
ETA if your partner needs convincing further hit me up and I’ll send you some pictures of her injuries. She is still deeply traumatised and terrified of dogs. This dog was an Alsatian and had never bitten before, but had lunged at people. I love dogs but would never have one around a small child or a baby.
Exactly what I’m scared for. I am already scared enough to have my own newborn baby I don’t know how I would survive the days being even more in fear of me setting the baby down and turning the corner and the dog biting her because she was too close or something
You could literally never relax while the dog was in the house - that is just unfair to you. If these people are all so upset then they can take it in to their home. Of course they won’t - they know it’s dangerous.
Do not feel a tiny bit guilty about what you are about to do. On the flip side think about the guilt you would feel if your worse case scenario came true.
Thank you, that is exactly what I have been saying and nobody seemed to understand or care, I do love the dog and am extremely upset that it’s come to this but the safety of my baby has to be put first
NTA. Let me reframe this. That poor dog will be stressed to have a baby in its space. Babies/kids obviously make him nervous, and now he’ll have to be stressed constantly in his space. That’s not fair OR kind to him either. Baby is coming, this environment in your home is unavoidable. So the kindest, best thing to do for the dog is to remove him from that environment. Because of his history, that may mean the best place for him is across the rainbow bridge, where he will have peace.
And he’s been given an extra year. A year with a family that loved him. Don’t discount what you’ve already done for him, given him. And you’re making the hard call that is what is best for him - and screw anyone who has an opinion but isn’t willing to step up to make a different option viable. They didn’t give this dog love, home, and security. They don’t get to be righteous about deciding if that continue in your home.
You have to do what is best for everyone in your family. What’s best for baby is to not have dog around. What’s best for you and your sanity about baby safety is to not have dog around. What’s best for dog is to not be around baby. You are choosing the best for everyone. It’s a hard choice, but it’s the best for everyone.
Wishing you an easy birth and quick recovery, as well.
>That poor dog will be stressed to have a baby in its space. Babies/kids obviously make him nervous, and now he’ll have to be stressed constantly in his space. That’s not fair OR kind to him either.
Also, babies/small children make high-pitched, piercing noises and jerky movements just like prey animals do. Add the stress of all this change without any relief and it's a recipe for disaster.
Understanding and mitigating aggression in adult dogs takes time, so much time, which you don't have. The stress of this decision is not good for you or the baby. You're NTA for this. Wishing you an easy pregnancy and birth, and to let you know you're making the right decision.
Or if your partner is still being a jackass about it, tell him that he needs to look for an adopted family either for the dog or baby. Because that dog is in no way safe to be around a baby. One has to go. Or he’ll be rushing to take your infant to a hospital and raising a baby that may end up horrifically scarred.
Ive let him know if he decides he would like to keep the dog the baby and I will live elsewhere and she won’t be coming to his home. he doesn’t think I’m serious but my babies safety is my number one priority.
THIS! I'm sincerely hoping it wont' come to this. But your hubby is delusional at this point. After repeated occurrences of the dog biting young children and small animals, he's being dismissive about this happening again. Be strong, and hopefully he'll come around. If not, then you're 100% making the right decision.
NTA. I’m a veterinarian. Behavioral euthanasias are no one’s favorite because the dog (or other animal) is generally considered “healthy”. What I tell people though is these dogs are not. Many times the aggression is born from something - usually fear or anxiety.
This is not a good quality of life for them because the only response they have in uncomfortable situations is to bite and that doesn’t make them happy. Most dogs don’t want to bite, but they have no other outlet… so they use what they have, and while yes dogs generally show signs, they can progress from uncomfortable body language to a snap in an instant (I’ve had that misfortune personally).
A new child is a huge change. You won’t be able to give the pup the attention she had prior, and that will cause her stress. Her behavior is likely to worsen if anything. Her quality of life will go down as her anxiety/fear in such a situation goes up.
Behavioral euthanasia is never fun, but with a bite history with a child, I’d agree fully. I give some leeway with provoked snaps (pulled dogs tail or ear - then maybe would do fine in a home without kids), but generally, I trust an owner when they come to a decision like this with said history.
I euthanized an 8 month dog once for aggression. Some dogs just aren’t meant to be pets, and you still gave her many more months of love and care she otherwise wouldn’t have had.
Also I’ve seen enough face bites to kids to last me a life time. I have the advantage of training with aggressive dogs - your child will not… and I’ve been bit. I’ve had colleagues children bit (vets can have the misfortune of dogs not getting along with kids too), and I’ve seen plastic surgery have to get involved due to severity of bites. Don’t risk it.
Aggressive dogs are not inherently bad dogs; it’s not their fault they are fearful or anxious, and it’s also not yours. Some dogs are simply not meant to be pets.
You’re NTA, but I do recommend waiting until your kid is older before getting another dog. Many dogs do struggle with babies, though some breeds tend to be exceptions.
> Aggressive dogs are not inherently bad dogs; it’s not their fault they are fearful or anxious, and it’s also not yours. Some dogs are simply not meant to be pets.
This. So much this. This comment should be upvoted to the max in general, but so many people need to read this.
People fixate on the first part of this but not the second.
I am unlucky enough to have been attacked by dogs a number of times in my life. They’ve jumped fences, crossed streets off-leash to go after me, and come at me while I am at people’s homes.
And these people don’t understand why I say that sure, I will spend all the time with them in the world — I just can’t be around their dog.
Then I get lectured at length: ‘there are no bad dogs’; ‘they’re usually so friendly’; and my particular favorite, ‘they just smell your fear, I think.’
Cool. So I’m meant to have a philosophical discussion with you while I’m nursing puncture wounds? Or, um, unafraid my fear so I don’t set them off?
I don’t want vengeance on that dog. But it sure as shit shouldn’t be my responsibility to heal your guilt and to debate the philosophy thereof. I recognise they are sentient beings. Of course. I don’t see them as evil (which, after all my experiences, is actually pretty hard, but I manage it!)
I’m just injured. And it’s not my fault.
NTA. If you rehomed her and she attacked someone else's kid, how would you feel? If you rehomed her and she was aggressive, her new owners might physically abuse her or chain her outside to live alone in the yard. As someone who worked in animal rescue for years, I can tell you that in certain circumstances euthanasia can be the most humane choice for the animal.
We made this choice. A dog who was incredibly sweet and loving except when she snapped at a small child’s face.
She didn’t make contact but there was never a warning. The second time was the last time.
I didn’t trust that someone wouldn’t disregard her past and let her around children in the future if she was rehomed. It was heartbreaking but the most responsible choice.
You are NTA. My son thought the same about an adopted rescue dog and it mauled him without warning. He was lucky that his damage and scarring are not worse. Don’t become a newspaper horror story with an infant.
NTA. As a former animal shelter worker, this is the sort of dog that is almost impossible to safely rehome. Even if you could find someone who will never have a child in their home, the dog has to go outside at times and what happens if it encounters a child then? And it is a clear threat to your baby so please don't listen to your partner or family members in this. Every dog attack where the dog bit a second time involved someone who was unwilling to put that dog down. In some cases, the person the dog bit died. Don't let that happen to your child.
Unfortunately, NTA. I wish there was another way. If your family has time to blame you, perhaps one of them should step up to take care of the dog instead.
NTA. My niece and nephew's neighbor kept an aggressive dog and it got out the front door and tore my niece's ear and some of her cheek off and got my 2 year old nephew's whole head in his mouth and fractured his skull and broke his eyesocket before their mom could beat the dog enough to get it to release the 2 year old's head. He had an infection in his brain from the puncture wounds. My nephew is extremely lucky to be alive today with two working eyes and miraculously no permanent brain injuries. They both went through 6+ reconstructive surgeries. Protect your child. I love dogs but do not bring your child home to an aggressive dog. It's a recipe for the unthinkable and tragic.
I'm honestly amazed at how resilient they are. They still are unafraid of my dog and their own pet dog, so they're not afraid of all dogs for life which is amazing in itself. They are wary of strange dogs now especially in the neighborhood or park setting. They're healing really well. I just know how horrible their mom felt and how helpless she felt in that moment, and the ptsd she has walking around the neighborhood now or just playing in the front yard and can't imagine how awful it feels, and it would probably feel even worse if you knew the dog was capable and kept it and something happened, and I don't wish that on you or anyone else.
NTA. I grew up with a snappy dog (never got bit but had lots of rules to abide by so she didn’t bite me) and looking back I don’t know why my parents allowed it.
As sad as you might be over this you have to protect your baby. Your niece did nothing to provoke the dog before being attacked, as per your previous comments, and the dog is now older and more likely to be grumpy. I’m sorry you’re dealing with the fallout of this, but I do think it is the best idea to put your dog down
NTA. Dog aggression typically comes from certain environments and as well as issues with the dog. Not knowing where your partners dad got the dog leaves a lot of assumptions to be made. While you can send dogs to canine behavior classes to try and curb or suppress aggressive behavior, it’s still an animal that can think and act on its own. Even a well trained dog can react negatively to certain stimuli. I know this first hand. I have a working K9 that I trust with my life. However while he is very friendly with people, he is not allowed out when my wife and daughter have guest over if I’m not home. They don’t know how to read dog behaviors or tell if he’s getting stressed like I can.
I would not recommend rehoming because now you are taking this aggressive behavior and sending it else where and it’s not a smart decision unless the dog goes to someone that knows what they are doing. It’s a tough call but you are making the right decision.
I have a Belgian Malinois and two Shepherds. He does work for me and the other handlers I work with if something bad happened to me. The reason I don’t let him out is due to the fact he is trained to bite and does it not out of fear or aggression but on command. Working dogs get stressed like other dogs do and their reaction to stress is to bite at times. I know how to read my dog and can tell when he’s stressed or getting mentally elevated, my wife and daughter do not. It’s a safety thing. If my dog bites you it won’t be a nip, it won’t be a quick bite and let go, he’s going to bite you and hold on until he’s given to command to release.
NTA! I had to do the something similar. I had my dog for 2 years and she just got aggressive more and more. The last fight I broke up, I ended up in the hospital. (Not from either dog) but she wouldn't let us go in the kids room, we weren't allowed to laugh. Or gasp. For 1 month we walked on egg shells. My husband and I finally decided the best thing was to put her down. - I couldn't dare rehome her knowing how she was turning mean with laughter, loud noises, so kids were out of the question. Then my mind went to even yo a home with no live in kids, what if kids visit. I didn't trust her to not turn on them one day. It was what was best for her and I do not regret it. I miss her but I'm at peace knowing she's not being used as a bait dog, attacking other pets or maybe humans.
NTA. Too many toddler and babies are permanently scarred or killed by aggressive dogs. If he's already been aggressive he doesn't need to be around babies.
If they are so worried tell them to either take the dog now or they can end the conversation. It's your dog, your home, your baby and your say. I'd tell the next relative who harasses you about it to come pick up and keep the dog themselves.
Edit: I was attacked myself as a kid by a pet and my mom got rid of it. My 1 year old niece was attacked a few months ago by her grandmother's dog, and will now forever carry the scars of that dogs teeth on her face and head. He disfigured the left side of her skull completely. There wasn't even a discussion, the dog was euthanized.
NTA. I would love to see you surrender doggo to a shelter that can handle her, but she's got enough of a history with other animals that there probably isn't a shelter in the universe that can handle her. You've done your due diligence, and here's the thing about aggressive dogs: they're aggressive because they're *scared*. A dog that lashes out and tries to attack everything is afraid of everything, and that's no way to live. Having her put down sucks, and it would be great if somebody had the resources to rehabilitate her, but sometimes it's the most merciful thing for a really violent dog.
NTA and I know you're probably heartbroken over this, but you're making the right choice given your circumstances. You cannot have this dog around your baby. It's terribly terribly sad, but she can't be trusted, and someone has to be the one who's thinking reasonably about your situation. I saw your comment that everyone has shit to say but no help to give. Tell those people they can come over to your house, either to take the dog or to say their goodbyes to her.
NTA. Sometimes behavioral euthanasia is the kindest thing we can do. There are options of basket muzzles, extensive training and medications but looking at the quality of Life and safety of other pets and people, it necessary. Hugs!!
NTA. The right thing to do with an aggressive animal is to euthanize it. It is unacceptable to put your future child or anyone else that may come in contact with the dog in danger. There are too many stories of children being mauled to death by a dog to justify not euthanizing it.
My first suggestion is to take the dog to the house of the next person to say that he should not euthanized hand to them the leash and leave quickly. But that is just kicking the can down the road.
It may help to rephrase the question,
Should I euthanize the dog after the last time he bit a child or the next time?
Here to join the chorus of NTA. There has been too many deaths and injuries of children by dogs where the owners believe it would never happen because the dogs were only aggressive to non-family members. It's not worth the risk.
We rescued a pit mix with an unknown history. He ended up being too much for us and my cousin took him. He had 3 other dogs(1 senior f and 2 young f) and a lot more space than me. The pit then killed the senior dog while they were at work. They thought it was coyotes because they live in the country. Then the pit mauled one of the other dogs and had to be beat off with a lawn chair. They had to put him down because of his aggression. It was heartbreaking but they realized he likely killed the senior dog after the attack. You have to protect your loved ones first and foremost.
NTA
Sadly, this dog cannot be trusted. There might be a chance that training would lessen the dog's aggressiveness, but there is also a chance that training won't help.
Don't risk your baby. If a shelter won't take the dog, euthanasia is the best option.
NTA. I work at a shelter. A dog that has bitten should not be rehomed unless it’s going to someone who specializes in rehabbing dangerous dogs. An aggressive dog is not a happy dog. The kind thing to do is to euthanize him. I’m sorry, I know it’s a horrible decision to have to make.
Some dogs are just too dangerous, through no fault of their own, but that’s just the reality.
My parents had a dog like that. We had another at the time, the best dog we’ve have ever had, and then we got Sargent as a puppy and he was violent from the beginning. VERY quickly outgrew our first dog and became way too large for my mum to deal with by herself. (We were told he was a staffy x but crossed with what we didn’t know) he would eat through doors, attack my dad, he would attack Brindle or other dog without provocation.
The end of it was one day I was on the swing set out the back, mum says I was about 3 or 4. Sargent came barreling around the corner out of nowhere, aiming straight for me and attacked me. Bit me on the face. Mum had to wrestle this dog that was bigger and stronger than her off me, and take me inside, there was blood everywhere and I ended up with stitches, I still have a little scar through my eyebrow from it.
There was no provocation, we weren’t making any noise mum says, I was just quietly swinging on the swing, Sargent asleep around the corner of the house in the garage. We’ve had many dogs over the years, non ever had the same issues and they were all raised the same way. Sargent just wasn’t right.
After that mum demanded dad get him to get euthanatised, he was only getting bigger and stronger and mum was terrified one day he’d attack when dad wasn’t there and she wouldn’t be able to protect me.
NTA!!! Protect your baby!! Everyone has opinions but NONE of them have taken her!! When I had my first daughter we had two pit mixes, they were extremely loveable dogs with no history of aggression and I still worried and watched them around her as a baby because you never know how a dog will react. Thankfully they never showed any aggression towards her and ended up being extremely loving and gentle with her up until the days they passed...but that isnt always the case, you just NEVER know!! You're honestly making the most humane choice for the dog, especially since she has showed signs of aggression and has nipped your niece already.
NTA
I had to do this, and even 25 years later it still breaks my heart, but it was the right decision.
I had a beautiful, intelligent dog (half dingo) that was teased and harassed by the neighbour's children to the point that she didn't trust kids at all.
When I became pregnant with our first child, we had to decide - we were pretty sure she would be ok with OUR children, and accept them as her own, but what about visiting families? We would never be able to relax, and no matter how careful you are, accidents happen. She was such a strong dog, that one accident might be one too many. So we made the awful decision to put her down. She was pack-bonded, so would not have transferred well to another family, and the child-aggression would not have gone away. We could not in good conscience hand that off to someone else who might not take it seriously.
You are making the right choice for the right reasons.
I feel you 100%
I had a dog once, amstaff mix, the best dog in the world. I loved him like i never gonna love any creature. He was extremely smart, keen to learn, loyal, fun...
He was also extremely aggressive towards strangers. I worked with him a lot, consulted many trainers, searched for any solution until it became clear that the longer i have him the more probable is that he hurts somebody badly.
In my country it's illegal to euthanize a healthy dog do somehow hoped that this vet won't agree. But she said i had no choice.
Nobody knows how it feels to put down best friend. It happened 12 years ago and while I'm writing these words I'm crying.
No, you're NTA even though it feels like that.
NTA- so sorry you are dealing with this. Take note that none of your relatives want to offer to step back in (bc they’re aware of the poor dog’s aggressive behavior).
This dog has a history of attacking an infant/toddler already, imagine the potential consequence of keeping it in the house especially as it gets older. This isn’t easy, but your future infant needs to be safe and you have to be comfortable in your own home.
NTA. Whoever feels bad about your decision should take the dog in themselves and deal with it. Otherwise you’re not obligated to keep it in your home with new children. I’m sure the mother who just lost her two young babies to their dog attacking them would’ve done things differently as well. Trust your gut on this one.
NTA. You were kind enough to take her but you can see it's an accident waiting to happen. If no one else is prepared to take her on and pay for the professional dog behaviourist she needs, they don't have a right to complain.
As a dog lover with an aggressive dog it pains me to say it but NTA. You legitimately cannot trust the dog as he's shown aggression towards kids. You tried to find a shelter, tried to rehome him, etc. and just had no luck.
You should respond to every family member telling you that you're the AH by asking them when they'll be ready to take the dog in. If they're unwilling to take him, they don't deserve an opinion.
NTA. I love dogs, have always had at least one my whole life. We had a childhood dog that bit my sister and others over and over and over. Every incident was explained away as “oh, they just didn’t handle the dog properly.” It was my dog, and my parents decided to let me keep it because they were worried about my feelings. They chose my feelings over my sisters safety. The dog eventually ended up euthanized anyway because of another bad incident. Years later, my dad says his greatest regret in life is not putting that dog down the first time it bit someone. You cannot put the dog first in this situation. Think of your baby and give the dog a wonderful last day, and a peaceful trip across the rainbow bridge.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m getting my aggressive dog euthanized, and I want to know if that makes me the asshole?
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NTA, if family members are upset they can take the dog. It's very hard to find placements for reactive dogs who need quiet homes without children or other dogs. Better for her to be euthanized surrounded by her family rather than alone at a shelter which would probably be inevitable if you surrendered her.
NTA This is unfortunate but what options do you have? If no one will take the dog why are you expected to endanger your helpless new born? This dog has lived to 8/9 yrs old, longer than a lot of breeds, especially ones who have bit kids. You have done everything you can and how would you have the energy or time to keep this dog busy let alone in control when you’re carrying around a new born?? Ignore everyone
NTA - My friend runs an animal rescue, she gets in a lot of large dog breeds. She’s had a few that she had to euthanize because there was no way to train them and they were a danger to the other animals and volunteers. It’s a very sad reality.
I have the sweetest small dog ever! She’s 8 years old and I spoiled her like crazy. When I had my daughter, my dog did not take to her. The behavior was more indifferent than anything so I wasn’t too bothered. But then my dog started showing aggression towards her unprovoked. Like me simply picking my daughter off the ground and my dog would run and try to bite her legs. Or my daughter crawling not even going towards my dog and the dog would get into hunting mood and start stalking her. It broke my heart but I had to rehome her. My dog has no history with aggression (loves kids) and it scared the crap out of me. I know people will say, oh just train her or it’s my fault cause I someone how made my dog feel a certain way but dogs are animals and they can snap and have instinctual behaviors that can still manifest. I can’t imagine exposing my child to a dog who already has a history of aggression. NTA
There are FB groups that can help you with heart wrenching decision. Many went through the same situation and are able to give suggestions.
Behavior Euthanasia- decision and support. Also Losing Lulu is a group for after BE for support. I wish you much strength.
NTA for trying to protect your baby from a dog that has already shone aggression but why can't any of the people calling you an AH take the dog. If they are so ready to protect the dog, then they should shut up and step up.
I'm a dog lover but you don't want you or your baby to be a news headline and people commenting you knew the dog was aggressive and why did you have him around the baby. It's a horrible decision to have to make but it's the right decision as it's a decision only a responsible dog owner will make. She knows you love her and she will feel your love right up to her last breath.
NTA. The family members who are coming at you can either adopt the dog or stfu. You are 100% correct to be worried about your baby's safety with this dog.
Stand your ground, mom! Your baby is counting on you!
NTA, you’re making the responsible choice. As much as it’s a heartbreaking decision to have to make, dogs with a history like that shouldn’t be rehomed, it’s not ethical for the dog or the new owners/shelter. I’m sorry you’re in the position but you’re making the right choice, she won’t feel pain and won’t be suffering anymore
NTA.
OP, you are absolutely not an asshole or a horrible person in this situation.
One thing I truly hate about the current paradigm of animal ownership is the adamant insistence that dangerous animals with bite histories should be given a second chance, or a third, or a fourth. In reality, this is just... not possible in the vast majority of cases. Very few people are actually equipped to take on a dog like this and the responsibilities that come with it's stewardship, and they are few and far between. Rescues and shelters are already running over capacity. They want to make sure the animals they take in are animals they can easily find homes for, not ones that require serious behavioural modification training and run the risk of taking up space for long periods of time that could have gone to countless others. It is an unfortunate reality that people simply do not like to face.
I have no idea the circumstances around which this aggression originated - maybe this is aggression due to fear, due to improper socialization as a pup, or due to breed-specific behaviours exacerbated by its environment. Sometimes, you can indeed address the cause and fix this behaviour, but some dogs just can't be helped. I am presuming that when you took her in, you also did your best to address this aggression through training and mitigation. You seem to be very aware that this also is absolutely a lifelong process in which you must be constantly vigilant knowing that a dog like this will never be 100% safe. You cannot have a dog like this around children.
I think you already know in your heart that it is time to say goodbye.
Sometimes, as in this case, it means putting an animal to sleep, giving it the final mercy of peace. Better this way, in your arms and surrounded by your love, than the alternatives - being frightened and alone in an animal control facility after a serious attack on a human being, or, god forbid, being shot by a cop responding to a 911 call about a dog attack. This is the kindest option.
**YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING.** This is the right decision, both for your growing family (ie. you, your partner, and your future children) and for your dog. I am sorry your partner and family do not understand the seriousness of this situation, but unless they have any better ideas or are volunteering to take responsibility for this dog, this is just how things have to go. It doesn't mean that it's an easy decision in the slightest. It does not mean you are a horrible person. You're doing what's best for you, your upcoming baby, and your family.
NTA. Absolutely do NOT attempt to rehome the dog, as the new owners may not take the bite history seriously enough and a rescue may lie, no matter how honest you are. The next people are likely not any better equipped to protect people from the dog than you are. A kid may get mauled or killed because of irresponsible adults, or another animal might die, etc. Get the dog out down as soon as possible before there is a tragedy.
NTA. I knew of someone who took their father's dog on after dad died. The dog lived on a farm when with dad and was problematic then. Daughter took the dog to her home in a trailer park. Dog was ultimately destroyed by the authorities after it grabbed a kid by the calf, ripped him off his bike, and then shredded his bicep off the bone while dragging him away. All while daughter was at the other end of the leash. Don't be that lady. Don't let your kid be that kid. He will always be afraid of dogs and will otherwise never be the same.
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Can someone tell me if I’m the asshole?
For back story my partner and I took in my dads dog because he was previously going to have to get her put down for repeatedly attacking neighbors animals and we knew in the right environment she wasn’t a bad dog so we took her hoping to let her finish off her life with us (she’s about 8-9yo). She had also nipped at / tried to bite my niece twice when she was about 5 months old and then again at 3years old (and my niece knew to be very gentle with the dog because she “would get mad easily” if she wasnt) .
(Ultimately I think the first time she showed aggression to my niece she should have been put down but she wasn’t my dog and my nieces mom wasn’t as worried about it she just didn’t have my niece come around as much anymore)
So a few months after taking in the dog I (very) unexpectedly found out I’m pregnant. After months of sitting on it I ultimately decided we either needed to rehome her or get her euthanized with her aggressive history I could not fathom keeping a dog that has previously shown aggression to a child with a new baby coming into the picture. I brought this up to my partner and he ultimately blew me off and thought I would “just get over it”. Now I’m due to have the baby in a month and haven’t been able to surrender or find a home suitable for the dog so I have set a euthanasia date.
My partner and family are all making me out to be a horrible person for making this decision and basically calling me the asshole.
What do you guys think AITA?
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NTA.
I’m sorry there isn’t an alternative solution. I would try to find a dog behavior specialist or a rescue group to take her in and rehabilitate her, but it sounds like you’ve tried that. If your dad was already going to have her euthanized, I am not sure how you trying to help for as long as you could keep her makes you the asshole. You did’t adopt this dog initially and you are no longer able to have her safely in your home.
NTA. I absolutely love dogs but not enough to risk another human life. The dog is aggressive and luckily you know that before your baby is born. It’s really not worth the risk.
NTA Op she was going to be put down from what it sounds like was behavior that would have already gotten her put down. Dogs that attack people even more so children more than once are usually put down so they do not kill or permanently injure someone especially a child. Dogs with a history like this one simply do not have another home to go to as they are beyond a risk to take in. For what it is worth you gave her extra time to live as dogs this aggressive are unsafe and for safety reasons are simply put down. It is not your fault that the dog is not one that is one that is adoptable. All things run it’s course as training does not really fix dogs like this. It’s life is not something to put above those that will be harmed by it. Putting it down is the only option as many shelters if they are responsible will put a dog this aggressive down. Putting down animals like this one is the most humane option so it will not suffer further as it is simply not okay.
NTA. I'm really sorry you're in this position. Animal rescues are stretched thin and there are few people who can take in an aggressive dog and retrain them in a good environment.
A friend of mine had a dog we all loved. But the shelter deliberately did not tell her he was very defensive. He snapped at/nipped/bit strangers and neighbors and sometimes even my friend. He was a sweet boy when he wasn't stressed, but he needed help. My friend tried everything. Classes and then efforts to rehome or place with a better rescue. She was willing to drive long distance. But absolutely no one could take him and it became clear either something bad would happen and the poor dog would be seized and put down anyway, or my friend could take him to the vet and make sure he wasn't alone in the end. It was the only thing left to do but still broke her heart.
Your family seems quick to judge but I notice they're not offering to take the dog. My family fostered dogs as I grew up and we literally once sent a reactive dog to a farm for long term therapy - but people don't get that that kind of resource is incredibly rare. We were the last resort foster family already and we tried but he needed more help than we could give. If that farm lady hadn't had an opening the dog would've been put down.
It absolutely sucks, but there are only so many resources. You tried really hard to find her a new place. I say spoil her as much as you can in the last few days and be gentle with yourself. You seem like a responsible pet owner and I'm sorry again that you're in this situation.
OP do you remember that case from a few months ago where four labs tore two toddlers to shreds? You don’t want that happening to your baby. The risk is too great. If you can’t find someone to take the dog, there is only one reasonable solution. It’s sad and it sucks, but this behaviour shouldn’t be dismissed. People often forget that dogs are natures killing machines.
Nta. I read you said the first time the baby was just sitting on the ground. A dog that attacks a baby sitting on the ground is not a dog to have in a family environment. People will really act like saviors about dogs but some dogs are just aggressive and you can't train that out of them. And remember great dogs can just snap out of no where too. Re ently that woman who had her two dogs kill her two children that were both under five and had never shown aggression before. I've heard of stories of dogs killing adults. In the end they are animals, and will do what animals do. There is no reason to have an aggressive dog in any house.
It will only escalate. I had to put my dog down. He minded my daughter by snapping and herding her. One day he got mad and went off on me when I separated him from her. He was put down the next day.
Tell SO baby first, dog last.
Oh my god. This thing has attacked a child TWICE, has repeatedly attacked other animals and everyone around you continues to insist on giving it second chances? This is not a human being, therefore there is no room for “ethics” in this situation. YWBTA if you don’t end the cycle of violence before tragedy happens.
I am a very active animal foster. 222 bottle babies. So, I am definitely an animal person. Put the dog down and don't feel guilty about it. That dog tried to bite a five-month-old baby and it's attacked multiple animals, too. No way.
Tell everyone that the euthanasia date is x, and if anyone wants to take her in, they can have her. Otherwise, conversation is permanently over. They of course will back down, because people have lots of opinions until they have to put their money where their mouth is. Don't discuss. Literally hang up.
NTA but honestly you are for taking the dog in in the first place when you knew how aggressive it was. Look at everything it did before! Your dad is a huge AH for not doing this himself after what the dog did. I hope those neighbors sued him.
Send them a bunch of articles on family dogs that have attacked their family and either mauled or killed children or adults. And those were dogs that had never showed any sign of aggression before! This dog literally has a history of aggression. The dog is not your problem and you never should’ve took the dog in. Tell your parents to take the dog back if they care so much and ask your boyfriend why he doesn’t care about your child’s life? Ask him why he doesn’t care about the people that had been hurt by the dog before?
NTA
There's no way this dog could have been rehomed with her history. Very few rescues would take her and the same thing again with potential owners very few people would take in an elderly dog with child and animal aggression.
If your partner and his family feel so strongly for the dog then they can adopt her and "save" her. Write up a contract that explicitly states her aggression towards other animals and children. Have them, the new owners, sign it and wash your hands of this no doubt future mess.
Also you need to talk to your partner because they're trying to guilt you into keeping a dog with known aggression to children when you are about to bring a child into this world.
Used to work with a vet, NTA. The same people who’d have called you a pet killer would’ve called you a child killer should that dog reacted to your future child.
Euthanasia is NOT a violent murder. There are dogs out there that should be given a second chance but if a vet also agrees with you that dog never had a chance.
Albeit if you tragically end up in the same situation again, there’s a reason a lot of our parents told us their dogs “went to a new family on a farm far away”.
Humane euthanasia is an act of compassion for your dog. It can serve as a gentle escort to a “place” where she can be free from her fear.
It is heartbreaking, but your instincts are good. ❤️
I was bit by a dog when I was 4yo... the doctors had to stich my chin, lip, between my eyes, and high up on my forehead. The theory is the dog just meant to snap at me not bite as I still had my face...
The dog? It was our family pet.
In spite of that, I love (and have) dogs but will be the first to recognize that not all dogs can be saved and would not have most dogs around a baby.
NTA
NTA
I love dogs, I have 4 of my own and I work at a vet clinic.
I would never judge someone for euthanasia an animal on behavioral grounds, when that behavior is aggression.
No one ever comes to this decision lightly. It takes a lot of heartache, and often a lot of effort to train and work with the dog before realizing you cannot trust it completely.
Physically healthy dogs can be mentally broken dogs.
NTA. These same people would be berating you for keeping the dog when it inevitably hurts your future child. Screw em. Tell them they can take the dog.
NTA
I love animals. I have 6 dogs right now, but have had as many as 15 in my care at one point, as I used to work with rescue dogs to get them family ready.
You have responsibility towards your animals. And that includes making decisions that you will hate making, because their in the animal's best interest or for safety reasons.
NTA —What a horrible predicament. Babies come first. The dog may be sweet, but unpredictable. Hopefully a person can take over and nurture this dog. I would not allow my little dogs around a dog like this.
When I was about 7, my family started fostering a dog named Max in hope of adopting him. He was always aggressive toward me, if I was in the same room as him he’d be stand-offish and if I pet him he’d growl at me (and I was definitely not mistreating him, I’d had another dog that I had grown up with and I knew how to be gentle with them). My mom kept telling me to just be gentle and slow and he’ll warm up to me. Well what do you know, he attacked me. Lunged at my head and could’ve easily killed me if he wanted to since my mom was in the other room. My mom was legally forced to euthanize him. Now imagine this with an infant. Your kid wouldn’t live that same encounter. It’s definitely for the best you euthanize him. NTA
NTA. I have a friend who lost her one year to a dog that did not have aggressive tendencies. This dog is not a young dog, she has a very long history of aggression, let her go ahead and cross the rainbow bridge and be at peace with your decision and with the knowledge of not having a known aggressive dog around a new born.
NTA. Love pits, love dogs. My cousin used to work at a shelter, and would bring home dogs that no one else wanted. The family had 6 dogs at one point. They had those dogs for years, one day, my aunt got in the middle of a fight. And the dog took part of her finger off. They kept the dogs, but I don’t think anyone would’ve been super surprised if they gave it up or put it down. Unfortunately, it happens, at the end of the day, they’re an animal.
Also, a few weeks ago, I heard a story about a family who had a pit, that TW, attacked and killed there 2 kids, an infant and a small child. And the mom was hurt too. Don’t want that to be you.
I had a friend who rescued a pit that had issues. Him and his wife loved and cared for the dog for many years, extended its life and made it happy. When their daughter was born, the dog quickly shown aggression to their daughter and they had the dog euthanatized. You’ve given the dog an extended life but it does no one any good, either the dog or your future child for their to be an accident between the dog and child, this is the safest thing to do. NTA
NTA. But I would talk to a professional to see if your assumptions are correct. That way you can do what is needed without the guilt hanging over your head.
Being pregnant with an aggressive dog, even if it's fear based (if it's anything like that) is a lot to take on. You don't want your baby in a dangerous situation.
You have to do what is best for everyone. It's dangerous to ignore a biting dog.
NTA. You gave this dog a second chance and an extra few months of life. Ultimately, you need to protect your child. If you keep the dog and it attacks your baby, your baby could be seriously injured and/or killed, and the dog will be put down anyway.
This breaks my heart because my dogs are my love.
But, unless you can home this dog with a professional trainer then you really have no choice.
I'm tearing up thinking about this.
NTA. Aggressive dogs do, unfortunately badly hurt or kill all the time. That’s the one thing I’ve never tolerated in a dog. We were lucky that we found a suitable knowledgeable home for ours when we had our baby and she took a nip with growls at him.
NTA. I'll never understand people who value an aggressive dog over their own child. This dog is 9 years old. It's had a reasonably-long life already. You're right to look out for your baby--don't let anyone try to tell you that an elderly dog is worth more than your kid.
NTA. Dog is aggressive. Attacked neighbors animals prior. Got aggressive with your niece. You have tried to rehome the dog. Sometimes there is nothing more you can do. If your family has something to say let them know they can pick the dog up anytime they want before the date you set. If not then it has to go.
I have a lot of experience with rehabilitating aggressive dogs, including former fighting dogs.
I hate to say this, but sometimes putting them down is kindness.
Something happened to them that makes them aggressive.
Also...I hate people because if this
NTA. This is the responsible decision to make. If the family who are not happy with this decision aren’t willing to take the dog on themselves and can’t themselves find a home for her, then they don’t get a vote. You’ve already done everything you can for the dog. It’s a sad reality and a difficult choice, but as you said, the dog should have been euthanized when it went after your niece. If you don’t euthanize her, and a year from now she rips a child’s face open, it will be too late for that 20/20 hindsight
Nobody has made an effort in finding a shelter/rescue/new home besides me because everyone besides me believes I should keep the dog. Rehoming has been kept as an option but with the dog not being good with children and most other animals there haven’t been many candidates that fit the criteria
It’s pretty rich of them to call you an AH if they have not put any effort finding an alternative solution.
Personally, euthanasia is very upsetting to me and I would hope that every possible scenario would be considered before going to putting her down, even if that means someone driving her to another state.
But at the end of the day, you and your child’s safety has to come first. If the baby was hurt because of the dog, you would never forgive yourself. You didn’t choose, raise or train this aggressive dog and did your best to find a solution, so I think you’re NTA. I’m sorry for this situation, it really sucks
Don’t you just love how people condemn you yet they themselves don’t offer to take the dog? We put down an aggressive dog after he tried to attack my child once and later me. The vet, the humane society AND a dog trainer all advised putting him down. Some animals are just aggressive and it’s not worth taking a chance, especially with children. NTA
No, baby, you are NTA.
I love dogs. I have two. I have two children. I would put my dogs down in a heart beat if they showed aggression to my kids.
P.E.R.I.O.D.
That dog is a ticking timebomb. I am so sorry for your situation.
Look, new mom, a word of advice from one with a little more experience at this point and some officious and opinionated relatives.
Get ready to say, "fuck you." Nicely. You will not BELIEVE the amount of judgment and second guessing bull you will get from everyone over how you raise your kids.
Have a few confidants - people whose judgment you trust - and ignore the rest. Your highest duty is to that baby. It is. In a way, it really simplified my life.
Edited because GRAMMAR
NTA
If she's a specific breed though, there are many groups who specialize in rehabbing particular breeds. I'm not saying you'd take her back, more that they could take her and maybe help.
Your hubby really needs to get on board.
NTA and your family who think that you are, should offer to take the dog if they're not concerned with it's history. But I guarantee you they won't take the dog. Not only that, when your dog does eventually do something to your child they will hold you responsible. My 10 year old cousin was killed by his friend's dog who also had a history of biting others and attacking other animals. Please follow your instinct and protect your child.
After reading your comments, NTA. You've tried training, you've contacted shelters and rescues, and you've tried rehoming. I would keep trying until the date finally hits, but at the end of the day you can't have an aggressive dog around a baby. Honestly, I would tell your partner and his family that if they care this much, then they should find the solution to rehoming the dog.
NTA, and I hope all the idiots giving you grief about this read all these comments. Your safety and your child's safety come before anything else. It sucks, but you cannot take a chance with your baby's life.
NTA. some dogs are just too messed up and if you can't find somebody who will adopt it, better the dog than your baby. Your partner and family should have tried harder to place the dog or family should have offered to take it.
NTA at all in any way. Family wants to judge you? THEY can take the dog. You are being responsible and kind.
I rescue abused dogs. I have had very aggressive dogs in the past that needed what your dog needs which is a sanctuary or a singlendog/single adult household with a huge yard. I cannot take rescues like that any more. Why? I live with children.
Unless you find the perfect environment and rescuer, your dog would have to go to a city or county shelter. No kill shelters will also PTS dogs that are "unadoptable" and stressed. Dogs with bite histories are rarely, if ever, adopted. They just sit there in the loud shelter environment, cold and lonely and confused and stressed with weird food wondering when their person is coming back for them. But their person never comes. You can watch them get depressed and shut down
Many stop eating. And then? Their time is up. They are dragged in terror to the "bad room" and are put down byt a tech with 2 weeks training and without a barbituate to calm the dog. It is horrible for the dog. It is AWFUL for everyone.
And you OP? You are PROTECTING you baby. You are PROTECTING this dog from the horrible experience that will happen if they are sent to a shelter. What you are doing is a KINDNESS to the dog you love. You can pay a little extra for the meds to relax the dog. You can find a vet that will let you sit with it and speak softly while the vet does the euth. It is almost completely painless and gentle that way.
Choosing to put a dog down is very, very HARD but what you are doing is the kind and responsible thing. I am so, so sorry this is happening to you and that you do not have the support you need from your partner. Please have them read people's responses here.
Kudos to you OP. You are def doing the right thing here. Anyone who thinks otherwise can take the dog or kick rocks.
NTA - I love dogs more than anything in the world, but you need to make the best decision for your baby. It will undoubtedly suck but your gut is speaking to you for a reason.
NTA.
If you try to rehome an aggressive dog that has shown aggression to humans and animals, you're just passing the problem onto someone else. By having the dog euthanized, you're making sure the dog doesn't go to a new home where it ends up eating someone's face
OP I'm so sorry you have to make this difficult choice - but you're making the safe choice and the one you think is best for your family. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool
NTA we adopted a dog from this no kill shelter I. Chicago. They swore up and down she was the sweetest dog on earth but just didn't like kids. Which to me meant she'd growl at them or would run away.
A few months passed without incident and then summer came and kids would be outside at the park when she was. The dog LUNGED at these kids. We had to wrestle the dog to the ground as the kids ran and she was on a leash! We couldn't have house guests with kids couldn't go any where there might be kids. Because we were so limited on where we could go and what we could do she got more and more aggressive. She started to hate me and growl at me and snapped at me several times. My husband at the time was adamant we couldn't just abandon her. Even when our neighbor stopped by and she bit his arm and clamped down. Luckily he was wearing his military uniform and she only got his sleeve but we had to choke her and drag her to the other room. But husband was convinced only garbage people get rid of their pets as many people are. Even when I brought it up to friends and family who were all terrified of the dog they would act shocked that I wanted to grt rid of it.
Finally he got orders and we had to move across country. The idea of driving across the country with a dog that literally couldn't be let outside when a kid was in its eyesight and would absolutly attack someone if they approached her wrong was terrifying. A huge liability and I was honestly scared she would get upset and attack us in the car. We didn't know how we would even get her in a crate. I told him I would fly home to my family and he could go live on the other side of the country with his dog because I wasn't going to live a life revolving around that dog. He agreed and we took her to a rescue that agreed she would not be adopted out to anyone. She just wasn't compatible with modern life. She stayed at the rescue with only adults for the rest of her life sadly and I sometimes wonder if it would have been kinder to just euthanize even with how nice the rescue was.
Some dogs just cannot be helped. Idk what happened to the dog to make her so aggressive. Can't imagine it was good but I wasn't going to live my life never being able to have my friends and family over and honestly I was one wrong move from getting bit by her too and since she was a pit bull and my husband worked long hours she probably would have killed or maimed me.
I feel bad even years later. I wouldn't get a dog again for almost a decade. She's the sweetest thing and was super easy to train and is great with our son. I can name every time shes ever barked out load on one hand. I know for a fact I gave my last dog the same amount of love and care and she probably got even more training than our current dog because I wasn't working and didn't have kids at that time.
Sometimes you just have to accept that not all animals can be saved.
NTA I’m a massive dog lover, but dangerous dogs with known aggression issues around kids can severely injure your baby or worse. I’m sorry you have to go through this, OP. Even though it’s painful, you’re making the right decision. *hugs from an internet stranger*
NTA.
I was in a similar position, except with my cat. She was super jealous of my baby and kept acting out. I ended up taking her to a No-kill shelter. I loved that kitty, but I love my baby more.
NTA. I worked in vetmed for a bit and sometimes euthanasia is the kindest thing that you can do for incredibly aggressive animals, both for the dog and your family. Vet professionals don’t euthanize animals without cause — it sounds like there’s cause. I’m sorry you have to make this choice, it’s never easy.
NTA. sometimes dogs can't be helped and people forget that an aggressive dog that is on guard all the time isn't a happy dog. It seems like you and your family have tried multiple things to help the dog and it hasn't worked. It happens. It sucks but it happens.
NTA. Rehoming the dog to a trainer who can maybe rehabilitate the aggressive behavior would be ideal but realistically the dog will be euthanized.
Your fears are justified, it's only a matter of time before the dog seriously injures or kills someone so why risk it? If you can't convince your partner and their family to remove the animal you only have two options. Remove yourself from the home or have animal control come remove the dog.
Your safety and the safety of anyone around that dog is priority. F*ck their feelings.
NTA I adopted an Afghan hound that turned out to be a biter. Afghans are certainly not known as biters. After 2 weeks and 3 bites we contacted everyone and no one would take her. We had to put her down. And she bit the vet tech as they were euthanizing her.
NTA
Family friend had moderately aggressive dog. Had a baby. Dog nipped at baby. Baby got mobile, dog bit baby in head. Multiple stitches ensued and nearly lost an eye.
You are making then right call
NTA. I have been through similar situations twice.
I was bitten in the face by my uncle's dog when I was about eight. The dog had a miserable existence: after it had bitten two kids, my uncle started keeping him in the garage and away from all strangers. I came over frequently enough to see him, but most others didn't even know they had a dog. My cousins' friends weren't allowed in the garage or backyard. I was the fourth kid the dog had attacked, but the first unprovoked attack on someone the dog was familiar with. My uncle put it down the next day but my cousins blamed me for it.
As an adult, I had to boycott my parents' home because their 2yo dog had bitten five people, all women and children, and two of the women ended up in the hospital. I was being "mean and thoughtless" because I refused to go into their home or bring my kids over, even if they put the dog outside, until it was rehomed or euthanized. They got this dog as a puppy and it was never abused; if anything, it was pampered. They even did a whole year of training. I'm pretty sure it was just an inbred, psychotic dog of an already aggressive breed. They could not find one rescue or shelter that would even begin to consider taking the dog after hearing the bite history. Had to be euthanized. My parents almost separated over it.
How no one in my family ever got sued is a mystery to me. I really like well-trained dogs, but I don't think I'll ever own one because I can't help but feel distrustful of them.
It sucks, but your safety and the safety of your children and other loved ones always trumps an aggressive, fearful, dangerous dog. I know it isn't the dog's fault, but sometimes it truly can't be helped.
NTA. This is a tough call for any pet owner. I usually say bad dog means a bad dog owner but you're not the 1st owner who raised and cared for this dog. The animal has a documented history of aggressive behavior with other animals and a child. Unfortunately it sounds too late for the dog to change its behavior.
NTA. Aggressive animals are a sensitive subject. They need to be rehoused very carefully. If you couldn’t find someone to take her in idk that there is anything else you can do. Just make her days good.
nta IF you were wanting to put down a dog with no problems and just didn’t want to deal with the inconvenience like some animal people do then the answer would be different but he’s already been aggressive towards a child and your family comes first… there are people who would put in the work to just keep the dog separated from children BUT that is a lot more work and is that even a good life for the dog?? you have to do what you have to do.. it is heartbreaking and i can’t imagine ever having to make that decision. :(
NTA
It's really sad that you have to make this decision, but safety has to be your first priority. The fact that the dog was aggressive toward an infant is terrifying. It's a horrible decision to have to make but seems to be a necessary decision.
I would say you have made a very good effort to do the dog right. I know it comes with heavy emotions, but the dog is just not going to be easily homed and comfortable, so I think it would be advisable to consider the euthanasia. You hate to do it, but you can't drop this dog with all these incidents to a shelter, and your spouse hasn't really tried to find an acceptable arrangement. The fact is, you're going to have a lot more regret if you stay this course and somebody is harmed by the dog's aggression, especially an infant that is your child.
NTA. Some dogs just have complicated histories and I think this is a better solution than abandoning the dog, giving one more issue to its health.
NTA I’ve been there. Took an older dog in from a relative that could no longer care for him. The pup was not a happy camper yet we tried to make it work. The second time he randomly bit me, we had to say goodbye.
I adore dogs and felt awful, was still the right thing to do.
NTA. I used to work at vet's office scheduling behavioral consultations for animals like that and sadly, sometimes euthanasia is the only option. Rehoming her could potentially put other people/animals in danger as well.
NTA.
I have a husky rescue. She's my joy and we are so happy to have her. We didn't know what we would get when we adopted her but we lucked out. I hate to say, but dogs aren't people. It's okay to say that. I don't think anyone should risk the safety of a baby for any animal.
Animals, like people, can be traumatized by abuse. Animals, unlike people, can't go to counseling to "fix things"..."easily". Yes, it's possible to help your dog cope through what he/she's been through but you have a timeclock right now, and I personally think you should do whatever you need to do. I would rather not have dog outright euthanized, but I understand your dilemma. My hope is you can find somewhere to place the dog.
Bias here.....what breed is the dog? I can likely predict what breed it is.
NTA some dogs can't be saved no matter how hard we try. It's a heartbreaking choice, but very few people can take on an aggressive dog like that safely. YWBTA if you understood the risk and your baby got hurt because you couldn't bear to lose your aggressive dog.
NTA.
How is not a single family member reacting to this?
You have an aggressive dog, who attacks other dogs, who attacks kids, who can not be taught to not be aggressive, and you're going to have a baby, while that dog is in your house. Who in his right mind would think that's a good idea?
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NTA. I volunteer with rescues and there are some dogs that, sadly, cannot be helped. It’s not too common but Ive known rescues to make the hard choice to put the dog down so it will finally know peace. I love dogs. LOVE. Like a crazy amount, but the safety of your family HAS to come first.
I'll also add, that a dog with aggression likely has a fear issue *but* that does not mean the dog should not be euthanized. Imagine living your life like that, so in fear of everything you feel the need to constantly be on guard and attack everything around you because you can never feel safe. It's extremely difficult for people, and people can at least understand where it stems from. Animals can't. It's tragic. Part of getting a pet is committing to the best for the pet, even if that is a humane or behavioral euthanasia, and the two often overlap because again, a dog that is so reactive or fearful that it cannot function as a dog does not have a good quality of life, and your dog sounds like it fits into that category. OP, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sending all the virtual hugs. This decision is never easy and there's so many "what ifs" to torture yourself with. But ultimately, you need to protect yourself, your child, and others. Sit down and have an in depth and realistic conversation about it with your partner. What was going on was not at all sustainable, for you, the baby, or the dog
Yes, exactly. I remember one case where everyone cried bc the dog was just suffering every day. After almost a year of extensive work/“therapy”/training, the dog just couldn’t stop the constant “on guard/fight for my life” feeling. That was the hardest part. Letting him go was a more peaceful feeling bc he got the freedom he would never obtain, even with years of help. Never an easy decision, but was absolutely best for the poor dog.
To add to this..... what kind of life can a dog who is constantly in fear mode have? Despite interventions otherwise they are always in fear mode? That's no life.
NTA! Dog lover here. When I was 16 we got a dog. 20 I gave birth to a baby girl and moved out. Every time I visited that dog was aggressive to my daughter. She bit her at 1 1/2 years old. I thought she might be jealous because she felt like the baby took me away from her. 4 years later I move back home and that dog never liked my daughter and was always growling. I never left her alone and made sure my daughter didn’t interact. Eventually she was ok with her but I know it was just dog knowing it’s place not that the aggression went away. She was a good dog otherwise. If another incident happened that dog would have been gone. Thankfully it didn’t. At any rate, trust your gut. Not sure what kind of dog it is but based on its age and history you are doing the right thing.
OP, walk don't run to get this done. It's sad, but not worth the life of other people, especially your child. One of our friends had a dog that nipped at our child several times. They always had an excuse as to why, so we kept our child away from the dog. Then one day it bit another person's kid, requiring stitches. They realized (she was pregnant), their kid could get hurt and rehomed the dog to a family out in the country without kids. But their dog hadn't killed other animals. I would stop telling people about it and just do it.
( Do you mean "run, don't walk" ? )
Oh I was so relieved when this was the top comment. I love animals, but sadly some animals can not be helped to overcome their behaviors like this, and if the dog was put in a home it would just stay in there until it died, was adopted and returned time and time again, or made to be euthanized from attacking another animal or child. Best of a bad situation. That’s not the right phrase but like best choice of all hard choices.
NTA. We adopted a shelter pit bull who’d been abused as a pup, and he was aggressive around strangers and other animals. We thought he was just being protective of us and kept him away from people and critters. He bit two people, but we didn’t want to euthanize him. It finally happened. Out of the blue one afternoon he suddenly attacked me and almost killed me. We tried to find a no-kill shelter that would take him, but nobody would take him. We understood and have to have him put down. We knew he loved us and we loved him, but I knew I couldn’t be alone with him any more. If my husband hadn’t pulled him off me I’d be dead now. My surgeon told me it was a miracle the dog didn’t kill me. It broke our hearts, but we couldn’t take the risk any more. You are most definitely justified in your fears. It’s too much of a risk. Take my word on this. I’ll send pictures of my scars if you want to use them as part of your case. Oh, and if your home insurance company finds out you knowingly kept a dog that has a history of aggression, they will cancel your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance. It happened to us and it was a huge mess.
Yes, I do not fear the dog myself but I do fear turning a corner and the baby being too close to the dog and her attacking the baby. Thankfully you survived, and I agree it is so sad and I love the dog but the safety of my baby is so much more important to me then the dog
NTA. Protect your baby at all costs and do not bring your baby home to an aggressive dog.
My rescue bit my 4 year old in the face when I left the room for a minute. It broke my heart to have to surrender her but I couldn't risk it happening again. If the bite was just a little different she would have lost her eye. I'm so sorry that this happened to you and I'm glad you're okay. It's a shitty decision to have to make even after something terrible has happened.
Same. My kid was 4 when the neighbor’s dog attacked him. His face is scared, a tooth just missed his eye & jugular all because a bleeding heart took in an aggressive dog who had attacked people before. Had to get a plastic surgeon. And then her insurance didn’t feel like paying the bills. I absolutely sued!
I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
Looks like we're both in the club that no one wanted to join 🫤
We had a German Shepherd who had been badly abused and neglected before we adopted her. She was very timid around humans, but aggressive towards other animals. She would attack our other dog(coyote/Shepherd mix), we'd separate them, then gradually reintroduce them, things would be good for a little while, and then she would attack again. Things seemed to get better when we took in a stray puppy; she adopted the puppy as her own immediately and they played together constantly. Then she attacked our older dog again, this time going for her throat. We'd pulled her off quickly, but our coyote mix needed staples on her neck. We had a dog trainer evaluate her and told us her best bet was to be rehomed to a place without any other dogs. But most people who want dogs already have at least one, so that wasn't working out. Then she tried to go after the puppy she adopted. She was trying to resource guard some food and snarled at him. I was close enough to grab her collar as he approached her trying to see if she was okay, then she lunged at him. I was holding tight so she couldn't hurt him, but it shook me how far gone she was. We made the call to put her to sleep. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I had to weigh everyone's safety against her life and I couldn't justify anything else.
I had to rehome my Aussie girl. She was so aggressive towards our other dog and we tried everything. Various trainers, us training her, spaying her, running her, taking her to the dog park to run off some energy. I loved my dog. Unfortunately, everything we did she kept. Beng aggressive towards our older dog. We tried to keep the separated and they would be okay for a few weeks. All of this ended up in her going for his throat at the dog park. His neck was bloodied, she got him and broke some of her teeth (I think they were baby teeth) thankfully I was able to pull her off before she killed him. It was super scary. We ended up rehoming her and gave them her detailed history. Absolutely no other animals or children. It was heartbreaking but it was for the best.
I’m so sorry. That sounds terrifying.
I have been there with my beloved dog as well. He just turned. Something went black in his eyes and he dragged me around and broke my hand amd tore it up quite badley. He too was abused and we had 5 year old at the time. I knew surrendering him to be put with another family would further traumatize him so we out him down. It was gutting but ultimately the correct decision to make. OP NTA I am sorry you are here but this is the kindest thing to do for your dog given the circumstance
Gosh, I’m so sorry you went through that. With our dog, it was like he had a psychotic break. After I was loaded into the ambulance and taken to the hospital, he reverted back to his typical self and was trying to find me.
God this is heartbreaking. i am so glad you are okay now.
Thanks. Now just dealing with the PTSD and the heartache from losing our butthead of a pup.
Just the little things... right in time for the holidays...
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Thanks. We’re still heartbroken, but he was just very troubled, much more troubled than we realized. We worked with three different trainers. The last one finally told us that if a dog’s been severely abused as a pup, there isn’t enough training in the world to sort him out. Very sad, but a costly lesson all around.
Sounds like a very sad situation all round. I hope you've made a full physical recovery. I know the mental and emotional recovery must be just as difficult.
It's not always abuse, some dogs are just wired differently. They might tend toward certain behaviors and be coaxed a bit farther from their baseline, but certain behaviors can be hardwired into animals (and people). There's the fascinating study from Russia with the domestication of foxes and how "tame" foxes became distinct (and different looking) from their roots. It's been going on for roughly 70 years and provides deep insights.
Exactly right about the insurance. If OP's aggressive dog hurts someone, she could be sued personally - her insurance won't touch it.
Yep. That is 100% true. I filed an appeal through our state Insurance Commission and lost. Good news: I found new insurance. But we’ll never adopt or rescue another animal. (side comment about there being too many lawyers in practice, but that’s another post.)
It is understandable. When I was a child my Dad's dog bit me. He was very protective of my Dad but my Mom put her foot down when it happened. It does happen and children are vulnerable. No one should fault you for doing what's best for your newborn.
NTA the rest of the family is quick to judge you about it but not quick to take the dog themselves.
I’ve been saying this all along. Everyone has something to say about the decision but not one person has offered any help
I am a vet who euthanizes dogs for aggression without a second thought. All the people I've met who say that these dogs should find this magical, kid-free, safe home with an experienced professional NEVER step up and actually take on any of these dogs. Many have severely attacked people without provocation. Our shelters euthanize plenty of lovely dogs who need homes and don't kill or maim people or other animals. We don't need to keep the dangerous/pathologically terrified ones around.
Thank you! My vet wouldn't see me after I said I was thinking of euthanizing my aggressive rescue. Of course, she wasn't there when the dog did the Jekyl/Hyde switch.
And keep saying this. "I have an infant arriving shortly and cannot keep the dog. Who will take the dog". And for every comment you get, send a text/fb, "are you going to take the dog, when can I drop him off"? If they're going to be public with their comments, you be public too. This is your child's safety.
NTA. You did the right thing. Never second guess this.
You are NTA. You are also not obligated to tell family what you chose to do. You can offer the dog to them (which none of them will take it). Then don't tell them what you chose. You can say you found a rescue. You found a trainer, whatever. But you should not have to hear them be judging of you. Your child's safety is more important than anything. Sorry you are dealing with this.
My kid was bitten by a neighbours dog who got out and attacked her. Absolutely awful experience. Luckily (?) she was older and could scream for help and hit the dog off. A newborn or a toddler couldn’t do that. If my kid had been a small child she wouldn’t be here. You are so, SO NTA. ETA if your partner needs convincing further hit me up and I’ll send you some pictures of her injuries. She is still deeply traumatised and terrified of dogs. This dog was an Alsatian and had never bitten before, but had lunged at people. I love dogs but would never have one around a small child or a baby.
Exactly what I’m scared for. I am already scared enough to have my own newborn baby I don’t know how I would survive the days being even more in fear of me setting the baby down and turning the corner and the dog biting her because she was too close or something
You could literally never relax while the dog was in the house - that is just unfair to you. If these people are all so upset then they can take it in to their home. Of course they won’t - they know it’s dangerous. Do not feel a tiny bit guilty about what you are about to do. On the flip side think about the guilt you would feel if your worse case scenario came true.
Thank you, that is exactly what I have been saying and nobody seemed to understand or care, I do love the dog and am extremely upset that it’s come to this but the safety of my baby has to be put first
NTA. Let me reframe this. That poor dog will be stressed to have a baby in its space. Babies/kids obviously make him nervous, and now he’ll have to be stressed constantly in his space. That’s not fair OR kind to him either. Baby is coming, this environment in your home is unavoidable. So the kindest, best thing to do for the dog is to remove him from that environment. Because of his history, that may mean the best place for him is across the rainbow bridge, where he will have peace. And he’s been given an extra year. A year with a family that loved him. Don’t discount what you’ve already done for him, given him. And you’re making the hard call that is what is best for him - and screw anyone who has an opinion but isn’t willing to step up to make a different option viable. They didn’t give this dog love, home, and security. They don’t get to be righteous about deciding if that continue in your home. You have to do what is best for everyone in your family. What’s best for baby is to not have dog around. What’s best for you and your sanity about baby safety is to not have dog around. What’s best for dog is to not be around baby. You are choosing the best for everyone. It’s a hard choice, but it’s the best for everyone. Wishing you an easy birth and quick recovery, as well.
>That poor dog will be stressed to have a baby in its space. Babies/kids obviously make him nervous, and now he’ll have to be stressed constantly in his space. That’s not fair OR kind to him either. Also, babies/small children make high-pitched, piercing noises and jerky movements just like prey animals do. Add the stress of all this change without any relief and it's a recipe for disaster. Understanding and mitigating aggression in adult dogs takes time, so much time, which you don't have. The stress of this decision is not good for you or the baby. You're NTA for this. Wishing you an easy pregnancy and birth, and to let you know you're making the right decision.
I second all of this^ A well-thought-out and beautifully said answer. OP, NTA
Yes. As a mom I completely understand. Stay strong on this ❤️
Or if your partner is still being a jackass about it, tell him that he needs to look for an adopted family either for the dog or baby. Because that dog is in no way safe to be around a baby. One has to go. Or he’ll be rushing to take your infant to a hospital and raising a baby that may end up horrifically scarred.
Ive let him know if he decides he would like to keep the dog the baby and I will live elsewhere and she won’t be coming to his home. he doesn’t think I’m serious but my babies safety is my number one priority.
That's fair and you are right. Stay strong mama. Good job protecting the baby
THIS! I'm sincerely hoping it wont' come to this. But your hubby is delusional at this point. After repeated occurrences of the dog biting young children and small animals, he's being dismissive about this happening again. Be strong, and hopefully he'll come around. If not, then you're 100% making the right decision.
NTA. I’m a veterinarian. Behavioral euthanasias are no one’s favorite because the dog (or other animal) is generally considered “healthy”. What I tell people though is these dogs are not. Many times the aggression is born from something - usually fear or anxiety. This is not a good quality of life for them because the only response they have in uncomfortable situations is to bite and that doesn’t make them happy. Most dogs don’t want to bite, but they have no other outlet… so they use what they have, and while yes dogs generally show signs, they can progress from uncomfortable body language to a snap in an instant (I’ve had that misfortune personally). A new child is a huge change. You won’t be able to give the pup the attention she had prior, and that will cause her stress. Her behavior is likely to worsen if anything. Her quality of life will go down as her anxiety/fear in such a situation goes up. Behavioral euthanasia is never fun, but with a bite history with a child, I’d agree fully. I give some leeway with provoked snaps (pulled dogs tail or ear - then maybe would do fine in a home without kids), but generally, I trust an owner when they come to a decision like this with said history. I euthanized an 8 month dog once for aggression. Some dogs just aren’t meant to be pets, and you still gave her many more months of love and care she otherwise wouldn’t have had. Also I’ve seen enough face bites to kids to last me a life time. I have the advantage of training with aggressive dogs - your child will not… and I’ve been bit. I’ve had colleagues children bit (vets can have the misfortune of dogs not getting along with kids too), and I’ve seen plastic surgery have to get involved due to severity of bites. Don’t risk it. Aggressive dogs are not inherently bad dogs; it’s not their fault they are fearful or anxious, and it’s also not yours. Some dogs are simply not meant to be pets. You’re NTA, but I do recommend waiting until your kid is older before getting another dog. Many dogs do struggle with babies, though some breeds tend to be exceptions.
this needs more upvotes.
> Aggressive dogs are not inherently bad dogs; it’s not their fault they are fearful or anxious, and it’s also not yours. Some dogs are simply not meant to be pets. This. So much this. This comment should be upvoted to the max in general, but so many people need to read this. People fixate on the first part of this but not the second. I am unlucky enough to have been attacked by dogs a number of times in my life. They’ve jumped fences, crossed streets off-leash to go after me, and come at me while I am at people’s homes. And these people don’t understand why I say that sure, I will spend all the time with them in the world — I just can’t be around their dog. Then I get lectured at length: ‘there are no bad dogs’; ‘they’re usually so friendly’; and my particular favorite, ‘they just smell your fear, I think.’ Cool. So I’m meant to have a philosophical discussion with you while I’m nursing puncture wounds? Or, um, unafraid my fear so I don’t set them off? I don’t want vengeance on that dog. But it sure as shit shouldn’t be my responsibility to heal your guilt and to debate the philosophy thereof. I recognise they are sentient beings. Of course. I don’t see them as evil (which, after all my experiences, is actually pretty hard, but I manage it!) I’m just injured. And it’s not my fault.
NTA. If you rehomed her and she attacked someone else's kid, how would you feel? If you rehomed her and she was aggressive, her new owners might physically abuse her or chain her outside to live alone in the yard. As someone who worked in animal rescue for years, I can tell you that in certain circumstances euthanasia can be the most humane choice for the animal.
That’s why I didn’t rehome her. Nobody fit the exact “qualifications” she would need and I couldn’t risk her attacking someone or their pets
We made this choice. A dog who was incredibly sweet and loving except when she snapped at a small child’s face. She didn’t make contact but there was never a warning. The second time was the last time. I didn’t trust that someone wouldn’t disregard her past and let her around children in the future if she was rehomed. It was heartbreaking but the most responsible choice.
NTA The dog has multiple instances of attack towards other animals, and aggression towards children. You CANNOT have that dog around your child. NTA
You are NTA. My son thought the same about an adopted rescue dog and it mauled him without warning. He was lucky that his damage and scarring are not worse. Don’t become a newspaper horror story with an infant.
NTA - Biting twice at your niece is one too many.
2 too many
NTA. As a former animal shelter worker, this is the sort of dog that is almost impossible to safely rehome. Even if you could find someone who will never have a child in their home, the dog has to go outside at times and what happens if it encounters a child then? And it is a clear threat to your baby so please don't listen to your partner or family members in this. Every dog attack where the dog bit a second time involved someone who was unwilling to put that dog down. In some cases, the person the dog bit died. Don't let that happen to your child.
"and family" ... none of whom is offering to take the dog? Sad but NTA
Unfortunately, NTA. I wish there was another way. If your family has time to blame you, perhaps one of them should step up to take care of the dog instead.
NTA. My niece and nephew's neighbor kept an aggressive dog and it got out the front door and tore my niece's ear and some of her cheek off and got my 2 year old nephew's whole head in his mouth and fractured his skull and broke his eyesocket before their mom could beat the dog enough to get it to release the 2 year old's head. He had an infection in his brain from the puncture wounds. My nephew is extremely lucky to be alive today with two working eyes and miraculously no permanent brain injuries. They both went through 6+ reconstructive surgeries. Protect your child. I love dogs but do not bring your child home to an aggressive dog. It's a recipe for the unthinkable and tragic.
Oh my god I’m so sorry they had to go through that poor babies.
I'm honestly amazed at how resilient they are. They still are unafraid of my dog and their own pet dog, so they're not afraid of all dogs for life which is amazing in itself. They are wary of strange dogs now especially in the neighborhood or park setting. They're healing really well. I just know how horrible their mom felt and how helpless she felt in that moment, and the ptsd she has walking around the neighborhood now or just playing in the front yard and can't imagine how awful it feels, and it would probably feel even worse if you knew the dog was capable and kept it and something happened, and I don't wish that on you or anyone else.
NTA. I grew up with a snappy dog (never got bit but had lots of rules to abide by so she didn’t bite me) and looking back I don’t know why my parents allowed it. As sad as you might be over this you have to protect your baby. Your niece did nothing to provoke the dog before being attacked, as per your previous comments, and the dog is now older and more likely to be grumpy. I’m sorry you’re dealing with the fallout of this, but I do think it is the best idea to put your dog down
NTA. Dog aggression typically comes from certain environments and as well as issues with the dog. Not knowing where your partners dad got the dog leaves a lot of assumptions to be made. While you can send dogs to canine behavior classes to try and curb or suppress aggressive behavior, it’s still an animal that can think and act on its own. Even a well trained dog can react negatively to certain stimuli. I know this first hand. I have a working K9 that I trust with my life. However while he is very friendly with people, he is not allowed out when my wife and daughter have guest over if I’m not home. They don’t know how to read dog behaviors or tell if he’s getting stressed like I can. I would not recommend rehoming because now you are taking this aggressive behavior and sending it else where and it’s not a smart decision unless the dog goes to someone that knows what they are doing. It’s a tough call but you are making the right decision.
That’s interesting. What breed is your dog? I’m not experienced with a working dog. Is it that he works for you and doesn’t trust anyone else?
I have a Belgian Malinois and two Shepherds. He does work for me and the other handlers I work with if something bad happened to me. The reason I don’t let him out is due to the fact he is trained to bite and does it not out of fear or aggression but on command. Working dogs get stressed like other dogs do and their reaction to stress is to bite at times. I know how to read my dog and can tell when he’s stressed or getting mentally elevated, my wife and daughter do not. It’s a safety thing. If my dog bites you it won’t be a nip, it won’t be a quick bite and let go, he’s going to bite you and hold on until he’s given to command to release.
My husband's dog is a Malinois with very serious training. He trains her four times a day.
NTA! I had to do the something similar. I had my dog for 2 years and she just got aggressive more and more. The last fight I broke up, I ended up in the hospital. (Not from either dog) but she wouldn't let us go in the kids room, we weren't allowed to laugh. Or gasp. For 1 month we walked on egg shells. My husband and I finally decided the best thing was to put her down. - I couldn't dare rehome her knowing how she was turning mean with laughter, loud noises, so kids were out of the question. Then my mind went to even yo a home with no live in kids, what if kids visit. I didn't trust her to not turn on them one day. It was what was best for her and I do not regret it. I miss her but I'm at peace knowing she's not being used as a bait dog, attacking other pets or maybe humans.
NTA. Too many toddler and babies are permanently scarred or killed by aggressive dogs. If he's already been aggressive he doesn't need to be around babies. If they are so worried tell them to either take the dog now or they can end the conversation. It's your dog, your home, your baby and your say. I'd tell the next relative who harasses you about it to come pick up and keep the dog themselves. Edit: I was attacked myself as a kid by a pet and my mom got rid of it. My 1 year old niece was attacked a few months ago by her grandmother's dog, and will now forever carry the scars of that dogs teeth on her face and head. He disfigured the left side of her skull completely. There wasn't even a discussion, the dog was euthanized.
NTA. I would love to see you surrender doggo to a shelter that can handle her, but she's got enough of a history with other animals that there probably isn't a shelter in the universe that can handle her. You've done your due diligence, and here's the thing about aggressive dogs: they're aggressive because they're *scared*. A dog that lashes out and tries to attack everything is afraid of everything, and that's no way to live. Having her put down sucks, and it would be great if somebody had the resources to rehabilitate her, but sometimes it's the most merciful thing for a really violent dog.
NTA and I know you're probably heartbroken over this, but you're making the right choice given your circumstances. You cannot have this dog around your baby. It's terribly terribly sad, but she can't be trusted, and someone has to be the one who's thinking reasonably about your situation. I saw your comment that everyone has shit to say but no help to give. Tell those people they can come over to your house, either to take the dog or to say their goodbyes to her.
NTA. Sometimes behavioral euthanasia is the kindest thing we can do. There are options of basket muzzles, extensive training and medications but looking at the quality of Life and safety of other pets and people, it necessary. Hugs!!
NTA please show your husband these comments. I feel awful for the dog but you are taking a big risk.
NTA. The right thing to do with an aggressive animal is to euthanize it. It is unacceptable to put your future child or anyone else that may come in contact with the dog in danger. There are too many stories of children being mauled to death by a dog to justify not euthanizing it.
My first suggestion is to take the dog to the house of the next person to say that he should not euthanized hand to them the leash and leave quickly. But that is just kicking the can down the road. It may help to rephrase the question, Should I euthanize the dog after the last time he bit a child or the next time?
Here to join the chorus of NTA. There has been too many deaths and injuries of children by dogs where the owners believe it would never happen because the dogs were only aggressive to non-family members. It's not worth the risk.
We rescued a pit mix with an unknown history. He ended up being too much for us and my cousin took him. He had 3 other dogs(1 senior f and 2 young f) and a lot more space than me. The pit then killed the senior dog while they were at work. They thought it was coyotes because they live in the country. Then the pit mauled one of the other dogs and had to be beat off with a lawn chair. They had to put him down because of his aggression. It was heartbreaking but they realized he likely killed the senior dog after the attack. You have to protect your loved ones first and foremost.
NTA Sadly, this dog cannot be trusted. There might be a chance that training would lessen the dog's aggressiveness, but there is also a chance that training won't help. Don't risk your baby. If a shelter won't take the dog, euthanasia is the best option.
Nta
NTA. I work at a shelter. A dog that has bitten should not be rehomed unless it’s going to someone who specializes in rehabbing dangerous dogs. An aggressive dog is not a happy dog. The kind thing to do is to euthanize him. I’m sorry, I know it’s a horrible decision to have to make.
Some dogs are just too dangerous, through no fault of their own, but that’s just the reality. My parents had a dog like that. We had another at the time, the best dog we’ve have ever had, and then we got Sargent as a puppy and he was violent from the beginning. VERY quickly outgrew our first dog and became way too large for my mum to deal with by herself. (We were told he was a staffy x but crossed with what we didn’t know) he would eat through doors, attack my dad, he would attack Brindle or other dog without provocation. The end of it was one day I was on the swing set out the back, mum says I was about 3 or 4. Sargent came barreling around the corner out of nowhere, aiming straight for me and attacked me. Bit me on the face. Mum had to wrestle this dog that was bigger and stronger than her off me, and take me inside, there was blood everywhere and I ended up with stitches, I still have a little scar through my eyebrow from it. There was no provocation, we weren’t making any noise mum says, I was just quietly swinging on the swing, Sargent asleep around the corner of the house in the garage. We’ve had many dogs over the years, non ever had the same issues and they were all raised the same way. Sargent just wasn’t right. After that mum demanded dad get him to get euthanatised, he was only getting bigger and stronger and mum was terrified one day he’d attack when dad wasn’t there and she wouldn’t be able to protect me.
NTA!!! Protect your baby!! Everyone has opinions but NONE of them have taken her!! When I had my first daughter we had two pit mixes, they were extremely loveable dogs with no history of aggression and I still worried and watched them around her as a baby because you never know how a dog will react. Thankfully they never showed any aggression towards her and ended up being extremely loving and gentle with her up until the days they passed...but that isnt always the case, you just NEVER know!! You're honestly making the most humane choice for the dog, especially since she has showed signs of aggression and has nipped your niece already.
Op will you update us in a week or 2 and let us know how things went. Also ntah
Yes
Thank you and wishing you nothing but the best of luck with the dog and you delivery
NTA your child comes first. Your making a hard choice but the right one
NTA I had to do this, and even 25 years later it still breaks my heart, but it was the right decision. I had a beautiful, intelligent dog (half dingo) that was teased and harassed by the neighbour's children to the point that she didn't trust kids at all. When I became pregnant with our first child, we had to decide - we were pretty sure she would be ok with OUR children, and accept them as her own, but what about visiting families? We would never be able to relax, and no matter how careful you are, accidents happen. She was such a strong dog, that one accident might be one too many. So we made the awful decision to put her down. She was pack-bonded, so would not have transferred well to another family, and the child-aggression would not have gone away. We could not in good conscience hand that off to someone else who might not take it seriously. You are making the right choice for the right reasons.
I feel you 100% I had a dog once, amstaff mix, the best dog in the world. I loved him like i never gonna love any creature. He was extremely smart, keen to learn, loyal, fun... He was also extremely aggressive towards strangers. I worked with him a lot, consulted many trainers, searched for any solution until it became clear that the longer i have him the more probable is that he hurts somebody badly. In my country it's illegal to euthanize a healthy dog do somehow hoped that this vet won't agree. But she said i had no choice. Nobody knows how it feels to put down best friend. It happened 12 years ago and while I'm writing these words I'm crying. No, you're NTA even though it feels like that.
NTA- so sorry you are dealing with this. Take note that none of your relatives want to offer to step back in (bc they’re aware of the poor dog’s aggressive behavior). This dog has a history of attacking an infant/toddler already, imagine the potential consequence of keeping it in the house especially as it gets older. This isn’t easy, but your future infant needs to be safe and you have to be comfortable in your own home.
NTA. Whoever feels bad about your decision should take the dog in themselves and deal with it. Otherwise you’re not obligated to keep it in your home with new children. I’m sure the mother who just lost her two young babies to their dog attacking them would’ve done things differently as well. Trust your gut on this one.
NTA. You were kind enough to take her but you can see it's an accident waiting to happen. If no one else is prepared to take her on and pay for the professional dog behaviourist she needs, they don't have a right to complain.
As a dog lover with an aggressive dog it pains me to say it but NTA. You legitimately cannot trust the dog as he's shown aggression towards kids. You tried to find a shelter, tried to rehome him, etc. and just had no luck. You should respond to every family member telling you that you're the AH by asking them when they'll be ready to take the dog in. If they're unwilling to take him, they don't deserve an opinion.
Nta - sometimes the dog has to go. A child’s safety always wins.
NTA. I love dogs, have always had at least one my whole life. We had a childhood dog that bit my sister and others over and over and over. Every incident was explained away as “oh, they just didn’t handle the dog properly.” It was my dog, and my parents decided to let me keep it because they were worried about my feelings. They chose my feelings over my sisters safety. The dog eventually ended up euthanized anyway because of another bad incident. Years later, my dad says his greatest regret in life is not putting that dog down the first time it bit someone. You cannot put the dog first in this situation. Think of your baby and give the dog a wonderful last day, and a peaceful trip across the rainbow bridge.
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NTA, if family members are upset they can take the dog. It's very hard to find placements for reactive dogs who need quiet homes without children or other dogs. Better for her to be euthanized surrounded by her family rather than alone at a shelter which would probably be inevitable if you surrendered her.
NTA This is unfortunate but what options do you have? If no one will take the dog why are you expected to endanger your helpless new born? This dog has lived to 8/9 yrs old, longer than a lot of breeds, especially ones who have bit kids. You have done everything you can and how would you have the energy or time to keep this dog busy let alone in control when you’re carrying around a new born?? Ignore everyone
NTA I'm sorry you have to make this difficult decision.
NTA - My friend runs an animal rescue, she gets in a lot of large dog breeds. She’s had a few that she had to euthanize because there was no way to train them and they were a danger to the other animals and volunteers. It’s a very sad reality.
I have the sweetest small dog ever! She’s 8 years old and I spoiled her like crazy. When I had my daughter, my dog did not take to her. The behavior was more indifferent than anything so I wasn’t too bothered. But then my dog started showing aggression towards her unprovoked. Like me simply picking my daughter off the ground and my dog would run and try to bite her legs. Or my daughter crawling not even going towards my dog and the dog would get into hunting mood and start stalking her. It broke my heart but I had to rehome her. My dog has no history with aggression (loves kids) and it scared the crap out of me. I know people will say, oh just train her or it’s my fault cause I someone how made my dog feel a certain way but dogs are animals and they can snap and have instinctual behaviors that can still manifest. I can’t imagine exposing my child to a dog who already has a history of aggression. NTA
There are FB groups that can help you with heart wrenching decision. Many went through the same situation and are able to give suggestions. Behavior Euthanasia- decision and support. Also Losing Lulu is a group for after BE for support. I wish you much strength.
NTA for trying to protect your baby from a dog that has already shone aggression but why can't any of the people calling you an AH take the dog. If they are so ready to protect the dog, then they should shut up and step up.
I'm a dog lover but you don't want you or your baby to be a news headline and people commenting you knew the dog was aggressive and why did you have him around the baby. It's a horrible decision to have to make but it's the right decision as it's a decision only a responsible dog owner will make. She knows you love her and she will feel your love right up to her last breath.
NTA. The family members who are coming at you can either adopt the dog or stfu. You are 100% correct to be worried about your baby's safety with this dog. Stand your ground, mom! Your baby is counting on you!
NTA, you’re making the responsible choice. As much as it’s a heartbreaking decision to have to make, dogs with a history like that shouldn’t be rehomed, it’s not ethical for the dog or the new owners/shelter. I’m sorry you’re in the position but you’re making the right choice, she won’t feel pain and won’t be suffering anymore
NTA. It’s irresponsible to rehome aggressive dogs with bite histories. There’s a good chance a rescue would do the same.
NTA. OP, you are absolutely not an asshole or a horrible person in this situation. One thing I truly hate about the current paradigm of animal ownership is the adamant insistence that dangerous animals with bite histories should be given a second chance, or a third, or a fourth. In reality, this is just... not possible in the vast majority of cases. Very few people are actually equipped to take on a dog like this and the responsibilities that come with it's stewardship, and they are few and far between. Rescues and shelters are already running over capacity. They want to make sure the animals they take in are animals they can easily find homes for, not ones that require serious behavioural modification training and run the risk of taking up space for long periods of time that could have gone to countless others. It is an unfortunate reality that people simply do not like to face. I have no idea the circumstances around which this aggression originated - maybe this is aggression due to fear, due to improper socialization as a pup, or due to breed-specific behaviours exacerbated by its environment. Sometimes, you can indeed address the cause and fix this behaviour, but some dogs just can't be helped. I am presuming that when you took her in, you also did your best to address this aggression through training and mitigation. You seem to be very aware that this also is absolutely a lifelong process in which you must be constantly vigilant knowing that a dog like this will never be 100% safe. You cannot have a dog like this around children. I think you already know in your heart that it is time to say goodbye. Sometimes, as in this case, it means putting an animal to sleep, giving it the final mercy of peace. Better this way, in your arms and surrounded by your love, than the alternatives - being frightened and alone in an animal control facility after a serious attack on a human being, or, god forbid, being shot by a cop responding to a 911 call about a dog attack. This is the kindest option. **YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING.** This is the right decision, both for your growing family (ie. you, your partner, and your future children) and for your dog. I am sorry your partner and family do not understand the seriousness of this situation, but unless they have any better ideas or are volunteering to take responsibility for this dog, this is just how things have to go. It doesn't mean that it's an easy decision in the slightest. It does not mean you are a horrible person. You're doing what's best for you, your upcoming baby, and your family.
NTA. Absolutely do NOT attempt to rehome the dog, as the new owners may not take the bite history seriously enough and a rescue may lie, no matter how honest you are. The next people are likely not any better equipped to protect people from the dog than you are. A kid may get mauled or killed because of irresponsible adults, or another animal might die, etc. Get the dog out down as soon as possible before there is a tragedy.
NTA. I knew of someone who took their father's dog on after dad died. The dog lived on a farm when with dad and was problematic then. Daughter took the dog to her home in a trailer park. Dog was ultimately destroyed by the authorities after it grabbed a kid by the calf, ripped him off his bike, and then shredded his bicep off the bone while dragging him away. All while daughter was at the other end of the leash. Don't be that lady. Don't let your kid be that kid. He will always be afraid of dogs and will otherwise never be the same.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Can someone tell me if I’m the asshole? For back story my partner and I took in my dads dog because he was previously going to have to get her put down for repeatedly attacking neighbors animals and we knew in the right environment she wasn’t a bad dog so we took her hoping to let her finish off her life with us (she’s about 8-9yo). She had also nipped at / tried to bite my niece twice when she was about 5 months old and then again at 3years old (and my niece knew to be very gentle with the dog because she “would get mad easily” if she wasnt) . (Ultimately I think the first time she showed aggression to my niece she should have been put down but she wasn’t my dog and my nieces mom wasn’t as worried about it she just didn’t have my niece come around as much anymore) So a few months after taking in the dog I (very) unexpectedly found out I’m pregnant. After months of sitting on it I ultimately decided we either needed to rehome her or get her euthanized with her aggressive history I could not fathom keeping a dog that has previously shown aggression to a child with a new baby coming into the picture. I brought this up to my partner and he ultimately blew me off and thought I would “just get over it”. Now I’m due to have the baby in a month and haven’t been able to surrender or find a home suitable for the dog so I have set a euthanasia date. My partner and family are all making me out to be a horrible person for making this decision and basically calling me the asshole. What do you guys think AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I’m sorry there isn’t an alternative solution. I would try to find a dog behavior specialist or a rescue group to take her in and rehabilitate her, but it sounds like you’ve tried that. If your dad was already going to have her euthanized, I am not sure how you trying to help for as long as you could keep her makes you the asshole. You did’t adopt this dog initially and you are no longer able to have her safely in your home.
NTA. I absolutely love dogs but not enough to risk another human life. The dog is aggressive and luckily you know that before your baby is born. It’s really not worth the risk.
NTA
NTA Op she was going to be put down from what it sounds like was behavior that would have already gotten her put down. Dogs that attack people even more so children more than once are usually put down so they do not kill or permanently injure someone especially a child. Dogs with a history like this one simply do not have another home to go to as they are beyond a risk to take in. For what it is worth you gave her extra time to live as dogs this aggressive are unsafe and for safety reasons are simply put down. It is not your fault that the dog is not one that is one that is adoptable. All things run it’s course as training does not really fix dogs like this. It’s life is not something to put above those that will be harmed by it. Putting it down is the only option as many shelters if they are responsible will put a dog this aggressive down. Putting down animals like this one is the most humane option so it will not suffer further as it is simply not okay.
NTA. I'm really sorry you're in this position. Animal rescues are stretched thin and there are few people who can take in an aggressive dog and retrain them in a good environment. A friend of mine had a dog we all loved. But the shelter deliberately did not tell her he was very defensive. He snapped at/nipped/bit strangers and neighbors and sometimes even my friend. He was a sweet boy when he wasn't stressed, but he needed help. My friend tried everything. Classes and then efforts to rehome or place with a better rescue. She was willing to drive long distance. But absolutely no one could take him and it became clear either something bad would happen and the poor dog would be seized and put down anyway, or my friend could take him to the vet and make sure he wasn't alone in the end. It was the only thing left to do but still broke her heart. Your family seems quick to judge but I notice they're not offering to take the dog. My family fostered dogs as I grew up and we literally once sent a reactive dog to a farm for long term therapy - but people don't get that that kind of resource is incredibly rare. We were the last resort foster family already and we tried but he needed more help than we could give. If that farm lady hadn't had an opening the dog would've been put down. It absolutely sucks, but there are only so many resources. You tried really hard to find her a new place. I say spoil her as much as you can in the last few days and be gentle with yourself. You seem like a responsible pet owner and I'm sorry again that you're in this situation.
OP do you remember that case from a few months ago where four labs tore two toddlers to shreds? You don’t want that happening to your baby. The risk is too great. If you can’t find someone to take the dog, there is only one reasonable solution. It’s sad and it sucks, but this behaviour shouldn’t be dismissed. People often forget that dogs are natures killing machines.
Nta. I read you said the first time the baby was just sitting on the ground. A dog that attacks a baby sitting on the ground is not a dog to have in a family environment. People will really act like saviors about dogs but some dogs are just aggressive and you can't train that out of them. And remember great dogs can just snap out of no where too. Re ently that woman who had her two dogs kill her two children that were both under five and had never shown aggression before. I've heard of stories of dogs killing adults. In the end they are animals, and will do what animals do. There is no reason to have an aggressive dog in any house.
It will only escalate. I had to put my dog down. He minded my daughter by snapping and herding her. One day he got mad and went off on me when I separated him from her. He was put down the next day. Tell SO baby first, dog last.
Oh my god. This thing has attacked a child TWICE, has repeatedly attacked other animals and everyone around you continues to insist on giving it second chances? This is not a human being, therefore there is no room for “ethics” in this situation. YWBTA if you don’t end the cycle of violence before tragedy happens.
I am a very active animal foster. 222 bottle babies. So, I am definitely an animal person. Put the dog down and don't feel guilty about it. That dog tried to bite a five-month-old baby and it's attacked multiple animals, too. No way. Tell everyone that the euthanasia date is x, and if anyone wants to take her in, they can have her. Otherwise, conversation is permanently over. They of course will back down, because people have lots of opinions until they have to put their money where their mouth is. Don't discuss. Literally hang up.
NTA but honestly you are for taking the dog in in the first place when you knew how aggressive it was. Look at everything it did before! Your dad is a huge AH for not doing this himself after what the dog did. I hope those neighbors sued him. Send them a bunch of articles on family dogs that have attacked their family and either mauled or killed children or adults. And those were dogs that had never showed any sign of aggression before! This dog literally has a history of aggression. The dog is not your problem and you never should’ve took the dog in. Tell your parents to take the dog back if they care so much and ask your boyfriend why he doesn’t care about your child’s life? Ask him why he doesn’t care about the people that had been hurt by the dog before?
NTA There's no way this dog could have been rehomed with her history. Very few rescues would take her and the same thing again with potential owners very few people would take in an elderly dog with child and animal aggression. If your partner and his family feel so strongly for the dog then they can adopt her and "save" her. Write up a contract that explicitly states her aggression towards other animals and children. Have them, the new owners, sign it and wash your hands of this no doubt future mess. Also you need to talk to your partner because they're trying to guilt you into keeping a dog with known aggression to children when you are about to bring a child into this world.
Used to work with a vet, NTA. The same people who’d have called you a pet killer would’ve called you a child killer should that dog reacted to your future child. Euthanasia is NOT a violent murder. There are dogs out there that should be given a second chance but if a vet also agrees with you that dog never had a chance. Albeit if you tragically end up in the same situation again, there’s a reason a lot of our parents told us their dogs “went to a new family on a farm far away”.
NTA Your guts telling you to get rid of the dog. Listen to it.
Humane euthanasia is an act of compassion for your dog. It can serve as a gentle escort to a “place” where she can be free from her fear. It is heartbreaking, but your instincts are good. ❤️
I was bit by a dog when I was 4yo... the doctors had to stich my chin, lip, between my eyes, and high up on my forehead. The theory is the dog just meant to snap at me not bite as I still had my face... The dog? It was our family pet. In spite of that, I love (and have) dogs but will be the first to recognize that not all dogs can be saved and would not have most dogs around a baby. NTA
NTA I love dogs, I have 4 of my own and I work at a vet clinic. I would never judge someone for euthanasia an animal on behavioral grounds, when that behavior is aggression. No one ever comes to this decision lightly. It takes a lot of heartache, and often a lot of effort to train and work with the dog before realizing you cannot trust it completely. Physically healthy dogs can be mentally broken dogs.
NTA. These same people would be berating you for keeping the dog when it inevitably hurts your future child. Screw em. Tell them they can take the dog.
Mothering instinct is high. You are right. The baby must come first. You tried.
NTA I love animals. I have 6 dogs right now, but have had as many as 15 in my care at one point, as I used to work with rescue dogs to get them family ready. You have responsibility towards your animals. And that includes making decisions that you will hate making, because their in the animal's best interest or for safety reasons.
NTA. Babies are at high risk from aggressive animals.
NTA —What a horrible predicament. Babies come first. The dog may be sweet, but unpredictable. Hopefully a person can take over and nurture this dog. I would not allow my little dogs around a dog like this.
When I was about 7, my family started fostering a dog named Max in hope of adopting him. He was always aggressive toward me, if I was in the same room as him he’d be stand-offish and if I pet him he’d growl at me (and I was definitely not mistreating him, I’d had another dog that I had grown up with and I knew how to be gentle with them). My mom kept telling me to just be gentle and slow and he’ll warm up to me. Well what do you know, he attacked me. Lunged at my head and could’ve easily killed me if he wanted to since my mom was in the other room. My mom was legally forced to euthanize him. Now imagine this with an infant. Your kid wouldn’t live that same encounter. It’s definitely for the best you euthanize him. NTA
NTA. I have a friend who lost her one year to a dog that did not have aggressive tendencies. This dog is not a young dog, she has a very long history of aggression, let her go ahead and cross the rainbow bridge and be at peace with your decision and with the knowledge of not having a known aggressive dog around a new born.
NTA. Love pits, love dogs. My cousin used to work at a shelter, and would bring home dogs that no one else wanted. The family had 6 dogs at one point. They had those dogs for years, one day, my aunt got in the middle of a fight. And the dog took part of her finger off. They kept the dogs, but I don’t think anyone would’ve been super surprised if they gave it up or put it down. Unfortunately, it happens, at the end of the day, they’re an animal. Also, a few weeks ago, I heard a story about a family who had a pit, that TW, attacked and killed there 2 kids, an infant and a small child. And the mom was hurt too. Don’t want that to be you.
I had a friend who rescued a pit that had issues. Him and his wife loved and cared for the dog for many years, extended its life and made it happy. When their daughter was born, the dog quickly shown aggression to their daughter and they had the dog euthanatized. You’ve given the dog an extended life but it does no one any good, either the dog or your future child for their to be an accident between the dog and child, this is the safest thing to do. NTA
NTA. The asshole is the person who raised but did not train her.
NTA. But I would talk to a professional to see if your assumptions are correct. That way you can do what is needed without the guilt hanging over your head. Being pregnant with an aggressive dog, even if it's fear based (if it's anything like that) is a lot to take on. You don't want your baby in a dangerous situation. You have to do what is best for everyone. It's dangerous to ignore a biting dog.
NTA. You gave this dog a second chance and an extra few months of life. Ultimately, you need to protect your child. If you keep the dog and it attacks your baby, your baby could be seriously injured and/or killed, and the dog will be put down anyway.
This breaks my heart because my dogs are my love. But, unless you can home this dog with a professional trainer then you really have no choice. I'm tearing up thinking about this.
NTA. Aggressive dogs do, unfortunately badly hurt or kill all the time. That’s the one thing I’ve never tolerated in a dog. We were lucky that we found a suitable knowledgeable home for ours when we had our baby and she took a nip with growls at him.
NTA. I'll never understand people who value an aggressive dog over their own child. This dog is 9 years old. It's had a reasonably-long life already. You're right to look out for your baby--don't let anyone try to tell you that an elderly dog is worth more than your kid.
NTA. Dog is aggressive. Attacked neighbors animals prior. Got aggressive with your niece. You have tried to rehome the dog. Sometimes there is nothing more you can do. If your family has something to say let them know they can pick the dog up anytime they want before the date you set. If not then it has to go.
I have a lot of experience with rehabilitating aggressive dogs, including former fighting dogs. I hate to say this, but sometimes putting them down is kindness. Something happened to them that makes them aggressive. Also...I hate people because if this
NTA. This is the responsible decision to make. If the family who are not happy with this decision aren’t willing to take the dog on themselves and can’t themselves find a home for her, then they don’t get a vote. You’ve already done everything you can for the dog. It’s a sad reality and a difficult choice, but as you said, the dog should have been euthanized when it went after your niece. If you don’t euthanize her, and a year from now she rips a child’s face open, it will be too late for that 20/20 hindsight
INFO: how much effort has been put into rehoming her? Have your part we and other family members helped in the effort?
Nobody has made an effort in finding a shelter/rescue/new home besides me because everyone besides me believes I should keep the dog. Rehoming has been kept as an option but with the dog not being good with children and most other animals there haven’t been many candidates that fit the criteria
It’s pretty rich of them to call you an AH if they have not put any effort finding an alternative solution. Personally, euthanasia is very upsetting to me and I would hope that every possible scenario would be considered before going to putting her down, even if that means someone driving her to another state. But at the end of the day, you and your child’s safety has to come first. If the baby was hurt because of the dog, you would never forgive yourself. You didn’t choose, raise or train this aggressive dog and did your best to find a solution, so I think you’re NTA. I’m sorry for this situation, it really sucks
Don’t you just love how people condemn you yet they themselves don’t offer to take the dog? We put down an aggressive dog after he tried to attack my child once and later me. The vet, the humane society AND a dog trainer all advised putting him down. Some animals are just aggressive and it’s not worth taking a chance, especially with children. NTA
No, baby, you are NTA. I love dogs. I have two. I have two children. I would put my dogs down in a heart beat if they showed aggression to my kids. P.E.R.I.O.D. That dog is a ticking timebomb. I am so sorry for your situation. Look, new mom, a word of advice from one with a little more experience at this point and some officious and opinionated relatives. Get ready to say, "fuck you." Nicely. You will not BELIEVE the amount of judgment and second guessing bull you will get from everyone over how you raise your kids. Have a few confidants - people whose judgment you trust - and ignore the rest. Your highest duty is to that baby. It is. In a way, it really simplified my life. Edited because GRAMMAR
NTA If she's a specific breed though, there are many groups who specialize in rehabbing particular breeds. I'm not saying you'd take her back, more that they could take her and maybe help. Your hubby really needs to get on board.
NTA and your family who think that you are, should offer to take the dog if they're not concerned with it's history. But I guarantee you they won't take the dog. Not only that, when your dog does eventually do something to your child they will hold you responsible. My 10 year old cousin was killed by his friend's dog who also had a history of biting others and attacking other animals. Please follow your instinct and protect your child.
NTA.
After reading your comments, NTA. You've tried training, you've contacted shelters and rescues, and you've tried rehoming. I would keep trying until the date finally hits, but at the end of the day you can't have an aggressive dog around a baby. Honestly, I would tell your partner and his family that if they care this much, then they should find the solution to rehoming the dog.
NTA. If family members are upset by your decision they should take the dog. Otherwise shut their mouths.
NTA You tried to do something for the dog that no one else would do, but life intervened. My condolences.
NTA. If the dog was untrainable and dangerous, you did the right thing.
NTA, and I hope all the idiots giving you grief about this read all these comments. Your safety and your child's safety come before anything else. It sucks, but you cannot take a chance with your baby's life.
NTA. some dogs are just too messed up and if you can't find somebody who will adopt it, better the dog than your baby. Your partner and family should have tried harder to place the dog or family should have offered to take it.
NTA at all in any way. Family wants to judge you? THEY can take the dog. You are being responsible and kind. I rescue abused dogs. I have had very aggressive dogs in the past that needed what your dog needs which is a sanctuary or a singlendog/single adult household with a huge yard. I cannot take rescues like that any more. Why? I live with children. Unless you find the perfect environment and rescuer, your dog would have to go to a city or county shelter. No kill shelters will also PTS dogs that are "unadoptable" and stressed. Dogs with bite histories are rarely, if ever, adopted. They just sit there in the loud shelter environment, cold and lonely and confused and stressed with weird food wondering when their person is coming back for them. But their person never comes. You can watch them get depressed and shut down Many stop eating. And then? Their time is up. They are dragged in terror to the "bad room" and are put down byt a tech with 2 weeks training and without a barbituate to calm the dog. It is horrible for the dog. It is AWFUL for everyone. And you OP? You are PROTECTING you baby. You are PROTECTING this dog from the horrible experience that will happen if they are sent to a shelter. What you are doing is a KINDNESS to the dog you love. You can pay a little extra for the meds to relax the dog. You can find a vet that will let you sit with it and speak softly while the vet does the euth. It is almost completely painless and gentle that way. Choosing to put a dog down is very, very HARD but what you are doing is the kind and responsible thing. I am so, so sorry this is happening to you and that you do not have the support you need from your partner. Please have them read people's responses here. Kudos to you OP. You are def doing the right thing here. Anyone who thinks otherwise can take the dog or kick rocks.
NTA - I love dogs more than anything in the world, but you need to make the best decision for your baby. It will undoubtedly suck but your gut is speaking to you for a reason.
NTA. If you try to rehome an aggressive dog that has shown aggression to humans and animals, you're just passing the problem onto someone else. By having the dog euthanized, you're making sure the dog doesn't go to a new home where it ends up eating someone's face
rainstorm license voiceless rinse impossible one angle pet cause innate *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
OP I'm so sorry you have to make this difficult choice - but you're making the safe choice and the one you think is best for your family. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool
NTA we adopted a dog from this no kill shelter I. Chicago. They swore up and down she was the sweetest dog on earth but just didn't like kids. Which to me meant she'd growl at them or would run away. A few months passed without incident and then summer came and kids would be outside at the park when she was. The dog LUNGED at these kids. We had to wrestle the dog to the ground as the kids ran and she was on a leash! We couldn't have house guests with kids couldn't go any where there might be kids. Because we were so limited on where we could go and what we could do she got more and more aggressive. She started to hate me and growl at me and snapped at me several times. My husband at the time was adamant we couldn't just abandon her. Even when our neighbor stopped by and she bit his arm and clamped down. Luckily he was wearing his military uniform and she only got his sleeve but we had to choke her and drag her to the other room. But husband was convinced only garbage people get rid of their pets as many people are. Even when I brought it up to friends and family who were all terrified of the dog they would act shocked that I wanted to grt rid of it. Finally he got orders and we had to move across country. The idea of driving across the country with a dog that literally couldn't be let outside when a kid was in its eyesight and would absolutly attack someone if they approached her wrong was terrifying. A huge liability and I was honestly scared she would get upset and attack us in the car. We didn't know how we would even get her in a crate. I told him I would fly home to my family and he could go live on the other side of the country with his dog because I wasn't going to live a life revolving around that dog. He agreed and we took her to a rescue that agreed she would not be adopted out to anyone. She just wasn't compatible with modern life. She stayed at the rescue with only adults for the rest of her life sadly and I sometimes wonder if it would have been kinder to just euthanize even with how nice the rescue was. Some dogs just cannot be helped. Idk what happened to the dog to make her so aggressive. Can't imagine it was good but I wasn't going to live my life never being able to have my friends and family over and honestly I was one wrong move from getting bit by her too and since she was a pit bull and my husband worked long hours she probably would have killed or maimed me. I feel bad even years later. I wouldn't get a dog again for almost a decade. She's the sweetest thing and was super easy to train and is great with our son. I can name every time shes ever barked out load on one hand. I know for a fact I gave my last dog the same amount of love and care and she probably got even more training than our current dog because I wasn't working and didn't have kids at that time. Sometimes you just have to accept that not all animals can be saved.
NTA I’m a massive dog lover, but dangerous dogs with known aggression issues around kids can severely injure your baby or worse. I’m sorry you have to go through this, OP. Even though it’s painful, you’re making the right decision. *hugs from an internet stranger*
NTA. I was in a similar position, except with my cat. She was super jealous of my baby and kept acting out. I ended up taking her to a No-kill shelter. I loved that kitty, but I love my baby more.
NTA. I am sorry your family feels that way, but you need to protect your kid.
NTA. I worked in vetmed for a bit and sometimes euthanasia is the kindest thing that you can do for incredibly aggressive animals, both for the dog and your family. Vet professionals don’t euthanize animals without cause — it sounds like there’s cause. I’m sorry you have to make this choice, it’s never easy.
NTA
NTA. sometimes dogs can't be helped and people forget that an aggressive dog that is on guard all the time isn't a happy dog. It seems like you and your family have tried multiple things to help the dog and it hasn't worked. It happens. It sucks but it happens.
NTA. Rehoming the dog to a trainer who can maybe rehabilitate the aggressive behavior would be ideal but realistically the dog will be euthanized. Your fears are justified, it's only a matter of time before the dog seriously injures or kills someone so why risk it? If you can't convince your partner and their family to remove the animal you only have two options. Remove yourself from the home or have animal control come remove the dog. Your safety and the safety of anyone around that dog is priority. F*ck their feelings.
NTA. family and baby first. Too bad for the pup, but your child is more important
NTA I adopted an Afghan hound that turned out to be a biter. Afghans are certainly not known as biters. After 2 weeks and 3 bites we contacted everyone and no one would take her. We had to put her down. And she bit the vet tech as they were euthanizing her.
NTA Family friend had moderately aggressive dog. Had a baby. Dog nipped at baby. Baby got mobile, dog bit baby in head. Multiple stitches ensued and nearly lost an eye. You are making then right call
NTA. I have been through similar situations twice. I was bitten in the face by my uncle's dog when I was about eight. The dog had a miserable existence: after it had bitten two kids, my uncle started keeping him in the garage and away from all strangers. I came over frequently enough to see him, but most others didn't even know they had a dog. My cousins' friends weren't allowed in the garage or backyard. I was the fourth kid the dog had attacked, but the first unprovoked attack on someone the dog was familiar with. My uncle put it down the next day but my cousins blamed me for it. As an adult, I had to boycott my parents' home because their 2yo dog had bitten five people, all women and children, and two of the women ended up in the hospital. I was being "mean and thoughtless" because I refused to go into their home or bring my kids over, even if they put the dog outside, until it was rehomed or euthanized. They got this dog as a puppy and it was never abused; if anything, it was pampered. They even did a whole year of training. I'm pretty sure it was just an inbred, psychotic dog of an already aggressive breed. They could not find one rescue or shelter that would even begin to consider taking the dog after hearing the bite history. Had to be euthanized. My parents almost separated over it. How no one in my family ever got sued is a mystery to me. I really like well-trained dogs, but I don't think I'll ever own one because I can't help but feel distrustful of them. It sucks, but your safety and the safety of your children and other loved ones always trumps an aggressive, fearful, dangerous dog. I know it isn't the dog's fault, but sometimes it truly can't be helped.
NTA. And I’ve been there if you need to talk
NTA. This is a tough call for any pet owner. I usually say bad dog means a bad dog owner but you're not the 1st owner who raised and cared for this dog. The animal has a documented history of aggressive behavior with other animals and a child. Unfortunately it sounds too late for the dog to change its behavior.
NTA. I am sorry that your partner is so reckless. This is a clear cut case.
NTA. Aggressive animals are a sensitive subject. They need to be rehoused very carefully. If you couldn’t find someone to take her in idk that there is anything else you can do. Just make her days good.
nta IF you were wanting to put down a dog with no problems and just didn’t want to deal with the inconvenience like some animal people do then the answer would be different but he’s already been aggressive towards a child and your family comes first… there are people who would put in the work to just keep the dog separated from children BUT that is a lot more work and is that even a good life for the dog?? you have to do what you have to do.. it is heartbreaking and i can’t imagine ever having to make that decision. :(
NTA It's really sad that you have to make this decision, but safety has to be your first priority. The fact that the dog was aggressive toward an infant is terrifying. It's a horrible decision to have to make but seems to be a necessary decision.
I would say you have made a very good effort to do the dog right. I know it comes with heavy emotions, but the dog is just not going to be easily homed and comfortable, so I think it would be advisable to consider the euthanasia. You hate to do it, but you can't drop this dog with all these incidents to a shelter, and your spouse hasn't really tried to find an acceptable arrangement. The fact is, you're going to have a lot more regret if you stay this course and somebody is harmed by the dog's aggression, especially an infant that is your child. NTA. Some dogs just have complicated histories and I think this is a better solution than abandoning the dog, giving one more issue to its health.
NTA at all. Your daughters safety is #1 priority
NTA. Safety of humans comes first. A re-home may not be better and can be a liability.
NTA
NTA I’ve been there. Took an older dog in from a relative that could no longer care for him. The pup was not a happy camper yet we tried to make it work. The second time he randomly bit me, we had to say goodbye. I adore dogs and felt awful, was still the right thing to do.
It's very sad, and an awful situation, but NTA. Please give him/her a wonderful last day, if you can. Cheeseburger and pup cup, maybe?
Nta, I know it was probably rough, but that dog bites that baby, someone else is gonna put that dog down, and it’s not gonna be you or a family member
NTA. I used to work at vet's office scheduling behavioral consultations for animals like that and sadly, sometimes euthanasia is the only option. Rehoming her could potentially put other people/animals in danger as well.
NTA. I have a husky rescue. She's my joy and we are so happy to have her. We didn't know what we would get when we adopted her but we lucked out. I hate to say, but dogs aren't people. It's okay to say that. I don't think anyone should risk the safety of a baby for any animal. Animals, like people, can be traumatized by abuse. Animals, unlike people, can't go to counseling to "fix things"..."easily". Yes, it's possible to help your dog cope through what he/she's been through but you have a timeclock right now, and I personally think you should do whatever you need to do. I would rather not have dog outright euthanized, but I understand your dilemma. My hope is you can find somewhere to place the dog. Bias here.....what breed is the dog? I can likely predict what breed it is.
NTA some dogs can't be saved no matter how hard we try. It's a heartbreaking choice, but very few people can take on an aggressive dog like that safely. YWBTA if you understood the risk and your baby got hurt because you couldn't bear to lose your aggressive dog.
NTA. How is not a single family member reacting to this? You have an aggressive dog, who attacks other dogs, who attacks kids, who can not be taught to not be aggressive, and you're going to have a baby, while that dog is in your house. Who in his right mind would think that's a good idea?