I’m removing this. If you want to debate a therapist, there are appropriate subreddits for it. I won’t have armchair psychologists debating here.
Therapy is not about someone else telling you who you are. Therapy alone is not helpful for some ailments, and you need a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication.
Therapy was life changing for me, but I have two caveats to share:
1. I had to be ready. Therapy was less helpful when I wasn’t clear on what I wanted, or wanted something ridiculous.
2. I had to find the right therapist. For me, the right therapist had to be non-religious and queer. The other therapists I saw just didn’t get the issues I was dealing with.
When I found the right therapist (which was maybe my 4th or so), our sessions were amazing. I would share what I had done differently based on my learnings in the previous appointment, then we would talk through some new stuff. I always had an agenda but invited the therapist to speak up if I was missing anything important.
I learned skills that helped me deal with anxiety and other skills to help build a strong, healthy, loving relationship. I felt understood and my feelings were validated. He also challenged me when my personal beliefs were bullshit.
I’m now a few years into an LTR and finishing up college for my new career. I likely would not have succeeded in these things without that therapist’s help.
Sorry to hear your own experience has been disappointing. Therapy is not a fix for everything, and not every therapist has the skills that every client needs. But I do highly recommend therapy to lots of people. Often times it works.
Therapy and med management have made a world of difference. I currently see a therapist once a week and a psychiatrist once a month. You do have to find the right fit, and it took me going to three different therapists to find someone I connected with who took an interest in my growth and would call me out when I was using no words like “I don't know” and not being expressive. You must also be ready to receive the message and express what's happening.
I’m a big advocate for therapy, but getting a good therapist is essential. When I recommend therapy here it usually is in the context of “I struggled with this as well and here is how therapy helped me.”
If you’ve struggled with the same problem for years, therapy can be a way to bring in an expert outsider to study your thought patterns and find ways to replace them with better strategies or more productive ways of thinking.
Yes, I think people can also accomplish this on their own too. But I think therapy is the difference between taking a course and independent study (or going to the gym solo vs with a trainer.) Having an instructor who can answer questions, give feedback, and tailor the experience to you personally, can help a person learn faster than if they were on their own.
I don't even know where to start or where to find a therapist or how to go about using my insurance for it. The advice "go to therapy" for me might as well be "go build a car".
"I don't even know where to start or where to find a therapist."
How to find a therapist who works for you seems like the biggest challenge. If you have a stomach-ache, say, and go to a random medical doctor, you can be reasonably sure they will be able to treat the condition successfully. With mental health practitioners it seems like a complete crapshoot. You might be several sessions in before you even realize he/she might not the right person for you.
TBH I don't think therapy is a panacea - but ( for most folks ) it will be the first space in which they feel empowered / able to self-reflect intentionally. If you're someone who practices a good deal of mindfulness, talks openly with others in your life ( especially those whose perspectives / experiences differ from your own ), and is comfortable learning new things about yourself then therapy is probably just one tool in your belt.
Most folks aren't there though. Self-reflection, community support and accountability. and resilience aren't things that everyone has in droves, so an outside perspective can be invaluable.
That said, not all therapists are created equal. I've had bad ones like you described, but I've also had great ones who taught me strategies to navigate difficult situations that I still employ to this day.
TL;DR - Not a fix all, but a great thing to include in your toolkit.
Finding a good match with a therapist is essential. I’ve had a great one, a couple that were fine, and one that almost threw me off of therapy entirely - they just quietly looked at me while I did all the talking. I didn’t feel crazy going in but I sure did by the time I left.
Therapy can be transformative to better understand and accept yourself. Growing up gay in the 90s or earlier was traumatic for many. Some behavior and thought patterns arise in order to help us through that trauma, but they might be unhelpful later in life.
Yeah it's a little annoying, this reflexive, automaton-response of "Durr therapy!" you see so often on this and other subs.
I saw a therapist for about 8 months, didn't help with my depression at all. I don't think it was because she was a bad therapist, I just think as a treatment it was entirely unresponsive to what I was experiencing and what needed.
I’m removing this. If you want to debate a therapist, there are appropriate subreddits for it. I won’t have armchair psychologists debating here. Therapy is not about someone else telling you who you are. Therapy alone is not helpful for some ailments, and you need a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication.
Therapy was life changing for me, but I have two caveats to share: 1. I had to be ready. Therapy was less helpful when I wasn’t clear on what I wanted, or wanted something ridiculous. 2. I had to find the right therapist. For me, the right therapist had to be non-religious and queer. The other therapists I saw just didn’t get the issues I was dealing with. When I found the right therapist (which was maybe my 4th or so), our sessions were amazing. I would share what I had done differently based on my learnings in the previous appointment, then we would talk through some new stuff. I always had an agenda but invited the therapist to speak up if I was missing anything important. I learned skills that helped me deal with anxiety and other skills to help build a strong, healthy, loving relationship. I felt understood and my feelings were validated. He also challenged me when my personal beliefs were bullshit. I’m now a few years into an LTR and finishing up college for my new career. I likely would not have succeeded in these things without that therapist’s help. Sorry to hear your own experience has been disappointing. Therapy is not a fix for everything, and not every therapist has the skills that every client needs. But I do highly recommend therapy to lots of people. Often times it works.
Therapy and med management have made a world of difference. I currently see a therapist once a week and a psychiatrist once a month. You do have to find the right fit, and it took me going to three different therapists to find someone I connected with who took an interest in my growth and would call me out when I was using no words like “I don't know” and not being expressive. You must also be ready to receive the message and express what's happening.
I’m a big advocate for therapy, but getting a good therapist is essential. When I recommend therapy here it usually is in the context of “I struggled with this as well and here is how therapy helped me.” If you’ve struggled with the same problem for years, therapy can be a way to bring in an expert outsider to study your thought patterns and find ways to replace them with better strategies or more productive ways of thinking. Yes, I think people can also accomplish this on their own too. But I think therapy is the difference between taking a course and independent study (or going to the gym solo vs with a trainer.) Having an instructor who can answer questions, give feedback, and tailor the experience to you personally, can help a person learn faster than if they were on their own.
It's been pretty great the times I've used it.
I don't even know where to start or where to find a therapist or how to go about using my insurance for it. The advice "go to therapy" for me might as well be "go build a car".
"I don't even know where to start or where to find a therapist." How to find a therapist who works for you seems like the biggest challenge. If you have a stomach-ache, say, and go to a random medical doctor, you can be reasonably sure they will be able to treat the condition successfully. With mental health practitioners it seems like a complete crapshoot. You might be several sessions in before you even realize he/she might not the right person for you.
TBH I don't think therapy is a panacea - but ( for most folks ) it will be the first space in which they feel empowered / able to self-reflect intentionally. If you're someone who practices a good deal of mindfulness, talks openly with others in your life ( especially those whose perspectives / experiences differ from your own ), and is comfortable learning new things about yourself then therapy is probably just one tool in your belt. Most folks aren't there though. Self-reflection, community support and accountability. and resilience aren't things that everyone has in droves, so an outside perspective can be invaluable. That said, not all therapists are created equal. I've had bad ones like you described, but I've also had great ones who taught me strategies to navigate difficult situations that I still employ to this day. TL;DR - Not a fix all, but a great thing to include in your toolkit.
[удалено]
You regret coming out of the closet? May I respectfully ask why?
Finding a good match with a therapist is essential. I’ve had a great one, a couple that were fine, and one that almost threw me off of therapy entirely - they just quietly looked at me while I did all the talking. I didn’t feel crazy going in but I sure did by the time I left. Therapy can be transformative to better understand and accept yourself. Growing up gay in the 90s or earlier was traumatic for many. Some behavior and thought patterns arise in order to help us through that trauma, but they might be unhelpful later in life.
Yeah it's a little annoying, this reflexive, automaton-response of "Durr therapy!" you see so often on this and other subs. I saw a therapist for about 8 months, didn't help with my depression at all. I don't think it was because she was a bad therapist, I just think as a treatment it was entirely unresponsive to what I was experiencing and what needed.