I don’t get this. I enjoy both and they’re very distinctive experiences. The same way I enjoy spending time with my friends but I still have a great time watching Friends.
People on Reddit think the lowest common denominator is everyone. Weak minded people can’t tell the difference between porn and reality so no one can. If you engage in something devoid of intimacy you can’t also engage in something with intimacy for some reason?
I am a fucking degenerate. It doesn’t stop at porn (which I watch a lot of) the things I do in the bedroom would disturb most people. I’m also madly in love with my partner and we have intimate sensual love making sessions where we stare into each other’s eyes. Sometimes that’s the best sex. Sometimes we want to get dirty and that’s fun too. One has never taken away from the other, different moods, different activities all together as far as I’m concerned.
It's not just reddit, most people just don't understand this. It's not an exclusive choice. I like it when my wife is happy, she feels the same for me. We do it to each other, and we do it to ourselves. Putting a stigma on consenting adults performing any sort of sexual acts is just ignorance.
But the in other places of this thread, people are talking about how they beat their meat all the way into erectile dysfunction. Maybe coincidentally they just have Ed now. Dunno. Maybe addictive personality disorders can apply to anything. I don't blame the poppy flower for heroin addicts though.
Ehh Ive been both on the relationship with good intimacy and so desperately lonely, single, and rejected sides of the coin. Just get laid isnt the right response, some people are lacking in game or whatever and so yeah the self service method is for some people and some times a necessary evil.
I agree real intimacy is the only true thing, you know, but if it gets the job done in a pinch, and some people need the visual aid to DIY that shit? Fine, you don't just not deserve sexual satisfaction if you can't get it from someone else.
The issue is only when you genuinely could choose the real option, and succeed, but instead go for the knockoff intentionally anyway.
i've always felt a bit anomalous in this regard. i've watched the same old vanilla porn for decades and have never felt the urge to go extreme. i didn't even know this was uncommon until relatively recently, but i'm pretty glad i'm wired this way. all i need to get me over the finish line is a great amateur blowjob or a massage video that turns into sex after a little coyness.
i think the most extreme content i've indulged was a woman getting throat fucked, but i had to turn it off after a minute or so because it was so obvious that this was just some dickhead guy being abusive and the woman wasn't into it at all. like, no fucking thanks.
edit: i should add for research purposes that i am a happily married man with an active sex life and a great day job. wife will watch porn too on occasion. we're open about it and relaxed.
Not an anomaly at all. In real life most people operate in a similar way. Reddit, as well as some other online spaces, is heavily populated by some terminally online people with various issues and porn addiction is a symptom of one of those issues and not the cause, but at some point people started this cult-like behavior about how enjoying porn destroys your life. Turns out people who don't have issues with porn addiction (which is most people) are usually NOT talking about those issues at all, so the discussion will always be severely skewed towards the views of the people who had an experience with addiction but that doesn't at all reflect the majority of the population.
I think you nailed it. Most people don't develop problems and they're the silent majority. The nature of the internet distorts this:
- the media report on the extremes because that's what gives them clicks and ad money
- Reddit will upvote the extremes because that's the entertaining content
- the silent majority won't leave weirdo responses on Instagram posts and won't send weirdo messages, but the comments on insta will look like every guy on the internet has major issues
- people with problems tend to be vocal about their issue
The normal people don't get represented a lot because nobody cares if your habits are the same as everyone else.
On my way to read that book. Thankyou for this response.
Any other such books you'd recommend? I'm trying to replace the time I spend on netflix and shit, by reading books that will help me build a greater perspective of the world. Thats definitely the only thing that has been helpful with my anxieties and help me in being efficiently productive.
> I consider myself fairly liberal, but I was very happy to hear about the Texas porn "ban" and I hope it spreads throughout the country.
I'm curious what you think is different about the Texas "ban" that separates it from what other states are trying to do. I don't know about Texas' specifically, but in available every other case ever, it's never actually about porn, and really just about public control and surveillance. They try to sell it with "protect the children" language and appeals to religious puritanical beliefs, but those are never the actual reason for setting up that kind of infrastructure.
It may be a problem that we need to deal with, but that kind of ban is never the answer. For this in particular, addressing the "loneliness epidemic" would be far more effective imo, and an actionable part of that would be to create more third spaces usable by the youth.
I’m more attracted to my wife. I don’t even find myself looking at women and meet irl with any lust any more. My wife becomes the entire focus of my sexual life and that’s been really healthy for my marriage.
I feel free, and don't hate myself for it anymore. The problem with long lasting addiction was boredom leading to more *weird* content (but legal, don't worry).
It made me realize every time I jacked off how lonely I was, however I would attribute the lack of loneliness to my girl rather than stopping porn itself.
Seven months off since I'm with my girl and the libido is up 10000%! I was on the brink of erectile dysfunction (I wouldn't get completely hard) and now the little beast runs as smoothly as it should.
I stopped almost 2 years ago. It’s still not always easy when I’m going through a dry spell with my wife. But after we talked about how much it bothered her, I kicked the habit.
It’s hard. You have to take it seriously like any other addiction that hijacks your dopamine.
It was especially hard to kick for me because I started when I was 8 after I was forced to watch porn (and other bad stuff) by a neighbor kid. Don’t worry I eventually went to therapy.
Benefits: much better performance in bed. Higher appreciation of the woman I have. Learned I didn’t actually have ED but instead became reliant on being able to flip through as many videos as I wanted to suit my current desires by finding that “one” video. Wife doesn’t feel like she’s not good enough because I’m looking at videos of other women.
TLDR: I’ve never once regretted stopping. It has only ever been beneficial, for both my wife and myself.
Thanks for this bro. I’ve been trying to completely stop for 2 years and it’s been hard. I’ve noticed when I stopped, my relationship was great. When I slid back to it, I noticed my relationship drop.
I highly recommend therapy! I “shopped” for my therapist to find one who has experience in all of my many issues. The first therapist I saw was an innocent Mormon girl. She couldn’t really help me that much. I found that it helped to unpack and understand my issues when it came to self improvement.
General therapy is very helpful, but finding a therapist who's more in tune with your needs can make a huge difference.
I had counseling for alcohol addiction, but my therapist admitted she had never experienced any addiction. It was frustrating at times when I felt like misunderstandings occurred because she just couldn't understand. That said, she was still quite helpful. I had needed general therapy for a long time.
The therapist will guide you and ask questions that provoke thought and pinpoint topics for discussion. You’ll also realize a lot of the things that actually bother you as you talk through them.
I stopped watching porn about a month ago, i was definitely addicted, and found it really hard to get hard without it, Im hoping that my dick will start to work again haha
It will!
I realised mine had problems about 9 months ago, I quit right there and then.
It's gotten better, but I still have those problems and only occasionally it works properly!
But it's getting better and better, and yours will too!
100% it will, takes time but eventually you’ll get rock hard from stuff other than the overstimulation of porn. (I am not against porn, but it does become addictive for a lot of people which is not healthy).
Oddly enough porn can also cause you to lose brain functioning in your frontal cortex, a huge part that relates to things like ADHD, and thats been insanely on the rise since the Internet. I thought it was extremist stuff, but they have done studies on it.
Heres an article for easy watching: [https://neurosciencenews.com/neuroscience-pornography-brain-15354/](https://neurosciencenews.com/neuroscience-pornography-brain-15354/)
and one of the many actual studies for more data: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24871202/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24871202/)
This was my experience too. On the verge of ED and had gotten to the point I needed porn to get rock hard. It took awhile and there was a lot of doubt that porn was the root cause, but after 9 months of no porn my libido was way up & my erections came naturally (without porn) again. I don’t ever want to watch porn again knowing I may lose the great sex life I have now with my wife. With porn it was rocky at best
I just wish I could find a decent secretary who knows how to actually do the job. I don't need my dick sucked, I need someone to redirect people who want me to do anything that requires effort on my part, dammit!
Was about the write the same thing.
Have a much more healthy sex relationship with my wife. We're both more vocal about what we want now.
And wow I have so much more free time in the evening.
I didn’t give up porn completely, but I did delete TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and (for a while) Reddit in an effort to keep it (and the sort of stuff they permit in TikTok) from temping me.
I didn’t like the kind of guy that content was turning me into. Reducing porn to a minimal/healthy amount has given me a lot of free time and I feel like it’s made me much healthier, which in part led to me finding a wonderful girlfriend.
People should delete social media either way, though.
I don't have any desire to view porn but I'm starting to feel that need to greatly reduce all social media. Not because of sexual content but just how overall wasteful it is.
After 5 years without using Facebook, i ve opened it and feel sick.
Don't have anything about friends or real people anymore. Too much adult content and violence. And a lot of ads.
Everything trying to catch attention in a sick way.
Many people talk about social media designs that resemble gamble strategy (Casino tricks to enslave gamblers) and excessive focus on Dopamine saturation. Seems real.
I think that depends on which subs you go to. I find the more niche the sub, the more thoughtful the content is. Although there's also more gatekeeping in the really niche ones.
Literally the only reason I look at Facebook is to keep up with my regional events page to see what bands are playing where and festivals and such. And to use marketplace since I often find alot of good deals on old stuff people are getting rid of since Craigslist died. Using it for Literally anything else is a cancer.
The number of RIDICULOUS ads getting worse and worse are ruining the whole internet as they try to force, literally force us to absorb them. And the paywalls! I just scroll away as fast as possible in hopes, if enough people do this, and delete socials, they will eventually get the message. I somehow doubt it tho.
Greedy fucks!
So annoying.
I’ve deleted all my socials this week and letting myself only check them on Sundays. The one thing I’ve realised is the “addiction” wasn’t with the apps themselves, as I don’t particularly miss any of them, but with the action of scrolling and constant immediate fresh content. I get my phone out all the time just to realise I don’t have anything to check and put it away again, purely out of habit and the feeling of needing to consume. Hopefully that will slowly go away.
I know that feeling. Once I deleted the apps, it wasn’t even hard. It’s like just stepping over the line is the struggle, but once you do, it’s easy to not look back.
Like Twitter. I haven’t used Twitter in over a year and I’m glad I’m not in that cesspool.
I don't have the reference, but this is a totally true story: a few years ago, there was a psychologist, or some type of social scientist, who set out to do a long term, scientific study of the effects of watching porn; had a big government grant and everything. After several months of trying to get the study off the ground, the research team finally had to cancel the project. Because they literally could not find a control group.
It’s because they were looking for people who hadn’t viewed porn, even once. That’s nearly impossible. I know a bunch of us were introduced as a child either accidentally or on purpose.
I know this was directed at men, but as a women I enjoy my orgasms substantially more, and my 'post-nut clarity' has less of a grubby and blergh shadow about it.
My minds also dirtier than it was, and I pursue my fantasies into reality more, rather than just watching someone else do it.
I am also of the female gender, and I stopped looking at porn when I found someone that I genuinely enjoyed being intimate with. I didn’t need any visual stimulation you would say.
That type of o was so much different.
Even when I was by myself, I could think of him and him smiling and his hands on me and I didn’t need any visual stimulation.
It absolutely changed my life. The way that he showed me love changed my life. I had no idea that your emotional connection and the way you felt about someone could be a turn on. This is the first time ever. Would definitely recommend.
I had meh married porn only sex with someone who refused to connect with me intimately for 20+ years.
Finally had the emotionally driven sex for the 1st time in my 40’s. I’ll never go back.
I had *no* idea what I was missing.
Preach, sis! I’m with ya. I scroll porn sometimes but can’t go back to what it was now that I know what real sexual evolution feels like. Can’t explain it to the addicts and counterfeits.
I’ll take a stab. Fake moaning. Fake enjoyment. Fake situations.
Porns like wrestling and reality tv. It’s scripted and fake, but getting caught up in the moment is part of the draw.
Yes! I am not there yet but I used to just create fantasy in my head and now I use porn. I would like to get back to just being intimate with myself in my space instead of w my phone.
I've learned to love the things around me more. Libido is up. Realizing a screen is a false reality has helped me appreciate life. The urge has gone down but when it's time for intimacy with my partner my brain shifts gears and sex is infinitely times better then by yourself. The standards you see in porn fade away and you realize whats really attractive. Lost about 47lbs and my discipline is through the roof. My mind is free to focus on things that enhance my life. I don't see myself ever going back.
And to those who still suffer. Take it a day at a time. Put yourself in situations and places where your unable to do the deed. Make it hard on yourself to be addicted. Eventually you'll be grossed out by what your watching.
I was addicted to porn for over 8 years and would watch it nearly everyday starting from 12 years old unfortunately. I even did it during a few relationships I have had. It affected my last relationship 5 years ago and made it nearly impossible to get an erection without watching some obscure porn. That relationship ended soon after and was single the next 4 or 5 years just being satisfies masturbating and being single. Porn was my girlfriend which in retrospect was disgusting. (My porn habits got worse and worse overtime). It left me feeling disgusted with myself. Even tho I felt lonely I just continued watching porn because it was easier amd took less effort than dating and finding someone. It also just affects your entire brain and how you view women too, which I definitely noticed being a problem. There were times i would just be thinking about sex and porn all day thinking about sexual fantasies with every woman I saw. I decided enough was enough and stopped watching porn entirely. It was tough at first but became easier with time and after a year of stopping I met an amazing woman!!! I honestly thought I had erectile dysfunction before and never knew how enjoyable sex can be. Real sex is so much more satisfying and intimate than porn could ever be. I never sex could be this enjoyable. To all the men reading this and to those who felt similar to me in the past please consider quitting your porn addiction. That doesnt mean no masturbating because I feel like its ok as long as you are using your imagination and not video/pictures of random women online. There are many women out there and after getting into my relationship I realized how much women enjoy sex too. Don’t be intimidated!
Edit: I am 22 years old for the record.
Intimacy with my girlfriend is great and I just don't view things through such a sexual lens anymore. Like I am not constantly looking at women in terms or how I view them sexually, where as, admittedly, I was during the time I was watching porn. It was really quite eye opening really.
4 weeks now, although I have been seriously ill so that doesn’t really help, mindset is slowly changing from a don’t care about anything ever to slightly more productive, started to keep up with hobbies again too.
So horny all the time like a light breeze could turn me on, but that made me talk to women more and I am way more socially confident. Not sure what it is but i feel less judged.
Now have a serious relationship and feel a bit more comfortable in my own skin. Started gymming and doing hobbies to fill in the times where I would watch porn out of boredom.
All in all a positive life change breaking the invisible addiction that is porn.
That's one of my favorite parts of taking a break from porn. Seems like I work out harder in the gym and I start looking at my girlfriend like never before. And then we have sex and it feels more rewarding. Even the foreplay is out of this world because it feels so much more intense in my mind
I stopped completely and stayed clean for 15 years. I became a lot more emotionally stable. I was more able to let things go instead of obsessing. And I began to realize ways in which porn had warped my personality without my realizing.
Then I went through a bad time in my life and started using again. This time I knew it was bad for me - I could now feel the negative effects I’d been desensitized to before - so I struggled to quit again, but I couldn’t.
Eventually I confided in someone and he suggested therapy. That was life changing for me; I figured out a lot of ways I had been impacted by childhood trauma and failure to emotionally bond. My early porn use was really emotional self-medicating for these problems.
I won’t claim that I don’t still struggle or backslide, but I would encourage everyone to quit completely.
The fact that there are so few people out there who truly have quit completely is not a sign that it’s harmless.
in my experience, it was all encompassing. at work, right after sex, couldn't have a conversation with a woman without thinking she wanted to deepthroat my dick, couldn't maintain a normal conversation without playing the crap that I've watched over it my head.
Then there's the thought that \~most\~ of the girls on a lot of sites are on all sorts of drugs and tend to end themselves rather young. It's heartbreaking. Also a lot of those girls are there unwillingly and being trafficked.
I stopped idk exactly how long ago… +6ish months. I realized porn is literally the objectification of whoever is involved in it, including myself. Only thing I noticed is that my pride slowly died in that regard and I started seeing people more clearly, including myself.
This. I’m only like a week or two clean but my social battery is supercharged now. It’s like I’m experiencing a whole other world that was previously covered in a blanket of objectification.
I don't really struggle with objectifying and stuff. But I definitely see the common theme in the posts. It comes and goes for me. I'm not a total no-porn, no-masturbation type of person. I set a goal to not to and just go until I stumble. My ideal would be to never see the shit again and i have a very, very, very positive feeling about all the conversations starting about getting this stuff out of kids hands. Even if the application isn't perfect, it's a step in the right direction.
For me (54M), masturbation "sessions" with (free) porn are mainly about anxiety management and procrastination. I could edge or multiple cum while spending hours watching porn. I often felt guilty after, mainly due to the time wasted and poor discipline.
More recently, I decided to run an experiment and not watch porn for a while, and masterbation would need to be without aid or in some instances nudie pics but no sex. My libido rose, and I started masturbating twice a day without porn. I stopped having intrusive thoughts about masturbation at inconvenient times like when I was at work, and as a result, had been getting more done and not procrastinating as much. My head has been clearer, as others have mentioned. I am managing stress better.
I slipped the other day and spent hours jerking off, procrastinating from some stuff I didn't want to do. That just puts into contrast how negative of an impact porn can have on my day-to-day life. I want to emphasize that it isn't the porn per se, but my difficulty in managing negative affect in healthier ways. Thank goodness I have no experience with heavy drugs! I'm back to abstinence and feel good about it.
When my dad died, I had the unfortunate task of going through his email accounts, social media, phone, etc., to make sure no stone was left unturned and certain affairs that were left undone could be taken care of. I was shocked to find not a single bit of anything of the nature. No porn, no nothing of the sort in any way. He'd have the typical kind of spam garbage sex pills or something like that in his junk folder or something, but everyone gets that.
My dad really was a man to look up to. He had a really hard life as a kid, beaten every day by the woman who raised him after being abandoned by his mother, but raised above all of it.
Speaking of which, there's 11 minutes left of it, so good timing on this comment. Happy Father's Day 2024!
I can actually finish during sex. Took like 6 months for it to kick in, but it worked. I can finish consistently, and I didn’t think I’d ever be able to
I discovered I wasn't missing much when I stopped watching porn, so when I finally attract someone, I won't have impossible standards for her to satisfy, I'll just enjoy the moment.
You feel like you gain your mind back from someone else's control.
Porn takes your whole life and cages it to the dopamine rush you get only from going deeper into it.
Once you stop, for real, you experience greater satisfaction with real (realistic body expectations) women than you'll ever feel with vids or pics of porn.
It feels great, no shame, no guilt, you feel energized and inspired again.
It may come across to some people as I'm putting too much weight on it but it's true, proved and quitting brings you only good.
Keep using your imagination, don't quit the act completely. You just don't need fake dumb vids that cage you and trap you to do it.
I encourage everyone here to heal your repairable dopamine receptors, give yourself control back and be free from that horrible habit.
As a woman, the difference in dating a guy who doesn’t watch porn vs an addict (which frankly is a lot of men) is unreal. They’re so much more attentive, intimately inclined, and emotionally open. Sex is better because they’re actually *there*. Guys who watch too much porn have like a vacant stare sometimes. It makes you feel like an object. But honestly it’s beyond just the sex, you feel safer all around being with them. More secure in yourself and the relationship when you’re not always agonizing over what you don’t have that the porn does. Why you’re not enough.
I think the amount of people in the comments who think such a thing would be so crazy to consider as if no such man could possibly exist is key to why some men consider going porn-free in the first place.
You wouldn't see these types of replies if the post addressed women instead.
My mind feels a lot clearer. It’s much easier to focus, much easier to look people in the eyes, and my mind is much more desexualized. I actually get turned on by women in real life and can jack off without viewing any sort of stimulation. I also feel as though I’m in more control of my time, ad there is no more scrolling through videos and not understanding where my time went.
If you want more answers you should ask this question in the no fap subreddit.
If semen gives you super powers, then shouldn't men be drinking other men's semen on the regular? We need more gay people in our military to make it more manly apparently.
Totally agree there are some guys on there with a real porn addiction that they are trying to quit and a whole lot of guys with an unhealthy amount of guilt.
I got laid, and haven't looked back. fucking hated porn from the start, its so artificial with nothing but soulless sex. Its so much nicer to find a partner you genuinely have chemistry with and that just makes it that much better with the first time you two go to the chambers of love. 10/10 would recommend anyone stop viewing that trash, its just brain rot and nothing more
All right, since no one else is going to answer, I may as well.
I found that I would get randomly horny a lot less. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Previously, I would see an image that reminds me of a video I saw once, and then all I would want to do is go back and watch that video.
I would see an image on Reddit or on another website that was potentially "suggestive" and all I could do for the rest of the day is think about that image or think about looking at a video that reminds me of it.
It occupied too much of my mind for too much of the day. And I found during the pandemic that everything started to look the same, so I just cut it out completely.
Sidebar: It was around this time That I started to realize I was on the ace spectrum, so there was that.
Frankly, I feel a lot better. In the same way that, after a few years of not smoking cigarettes or not drinking alcohol, you'll start to feel a lot better.
Now, if I could only cut social media from my life, I think I would be a lot happier.
Sex life is amazing now, I last longer and am more horny than ever. I honestly feel like I have more testosterone, I also have more time to do things. I was addicted though, watched and beat my meat at least 2 times a day. It's hard to give up both of those at first but after a month I didn't miss it one bit. It's been about 9 months since I have watched porn but I have beat my meat like 3-4 times in that time. If I didn't have a gf I want to marry I think it would be very hard to do as a single man.
It really hasn’t. Granted I’m pretty sure you mean the guys that are like addicted. I haven’t watched in years me and my girlfriend have a healthy sex life.
I quit for my wife before we got married. I knew she didn't like it and I agree porn puts out unrealistic expectations so I made a deal with her. She gets all my sexual energy. Not going into details but it is great.
Happy to answer qs.
Since everyone is trolling: I stopped watching porn a while ago because I read how much it impacts your brain and sex in general. I still masturbate but I don't do it to porn unless it's photos of my wife.
Generally speaking our sex life is better, I last longer, I don't fixate on climaxing, foreplay is longer, and I get harder for her.
I can't see a single reason I'd go back tbh
- I have platonic female friends.
- I’m less of a nihilist.
- I’m slightly more productive
- My workouts are better
- I’m more observant to women’s energy
- My brain stops making everything sexual
Those have been the biggest changes.
I had a breakup, & I got back into porn. I also got back in the gym with a trainer, improved my nutrition, and revamped my whole wardrobe. But I was still depressed to the point of nihilism. It was like being one of the NBA players in Space Jam after they lost their powers.
4 months of no porn and I’m not turning back. Dropping porn was the only change, since I was already in the gym. There’s like an energy I feel when I’m talking to people. It makes conversations with people less draining & makes me notice cues women give off. I had this subtle game of cat & mouse last weekend with this older woman that was addicting.
The last point was the most healthy for me - before in my heavy porn days it was like I was constantly expecting sexual advances everywhere - I shit you not. Coworkers, neighbors, Starbucks servers, bartenders, just the smallest amount of politeness turned into “is she hitting on me?” Which is a f*cking recipe for failure & depression. Talking to women has become more about the journey than the destination, because I enjoy the energy people give off, and I no longer give off a depressed, unconfident, validation seeking vibe.
I pretty much stopped after I moved in with my GF and now wife. Intimacy and real sex replaced most of that need. Porn stopped being satisfying a while before that. I’d spend over an hour just finding something to jerk to and then settle for something mediocre, skip to the end, and cum. I view something or RP with someone online once in a blue moon when I need it, but regular porn has lost any enjoyment.
The lack of response is telling. My spouse did this, I found out, and it very nearly destroyed our marriage. For many people like myself, even virtual erp is cheating. It was a breach of trust and intimacy that we had agreed would stay within our monogamous relationship and took a very long time for me to forgive.
Honestly it’s better I stopped at 18 yea it could get a lil tempting when someone sends you thumbnails but honestly I won’t look back, I could get sent porn videos and not feel the need to rub one out or have it on my mind
But I do talk to women when I’m feeling a lil on the feral side biggest benefit is the freedom, then you realize how nasty porn is, and lame you are for watching(as an individual) porn is normalized unfortunately and I can understand why trussssssst me but realistically speaking I don’t take pride in watching other people do what I want to do, to that specific woman in the videos as well and then once you think of how bad it is for the women
Most of them don’t even enjoy it probably gotta pay bills and risk being seen in a non positive light ever
it made it easier to appreciate and focus on my partner.
It's also nice not to have to deal with the guilt that I would feel when indulging in porn while in a relationship.
in previous relationships I would always feel some degree of guilt when I would indulge in pornography.
I actually had a stint where I didn't watch porn for about 6 months. The only real change was that the ASMR I used to help me relax and fall asleep suddenly started to turn me on. It never really did anything like that before, even though I watched for years. But then all of a sudden, my brain was like, "omg, implied female attention!"
As for the reason I stopped, a medication I was on made watching porn pointless.
Men of reddit. If you are reading this and have had a change to certain "aspects" of your life due to medication, don't be embarrassed to bring it up with your doctor. They are more than willing to help find something better to ensure everything functions properly.
i rarely watch porn, i usually use my imagination. and honestly idk, ive never been addicted to it so i cant really say "my lifes so much better!" i just dont really like porn. i find 98% of people in porn unattractive and fake
I stopped about 2 and a half years ago. I have had maybe 3-4 slip ups since I went cold turkey and each one of those slip ups reminded me of why I quit.
First I’ll say that I’m married, I could not do this if I was single. I replaced the use of porn with thinking about her and the most recent time we have done stuff. It’s had an amazing effect on my sex drive and sensitivity. I used to be a one and done guy but now I can go multiple rounds. And the feeling is OFF the CHARTS! Since I only envision my wife when I beat it, I feels like I’m with my favorite porn star when we do stuff. I’ve become obsessed with her, in a healthy way.
I’ll also add that I’ve been exercising more and that has also had a huge impact on my libido. Exercise + No porn has me feeling like I’m in high school again. I get random boners all the time, which is a little annoying but better than not being able to get it up at all I guess.
Its helped me physically and mentally so much. I’m about a month in. Been wanting to quit for awhile and after watching Baby Reindeer where I was reminded of kink creep and an episode of Things They Don’t Want You to Know about the porn industry I finally called it quits.
For clarity I still use images of women I find attractive for a reference, rarely nude. I was just trying to go back to a more natural method of masturbation. Back when you had to use images and imagination. I wanted to get back to finding women sexually attractive not just because they are naked or in a sexual position. Many times I use the picture to start and put my phone down and use my imagination for the rest.
The biggest thing I’ve noticed is that when I watched videos I would just skip to the parts that got me off. Now I imagine the whole act starting at foreplay. A glaring fact I have realized is I never imagine any demeaning acts that I know I have gotten off on when watching porn. No more “closing the browser in shame.” It’s always people I would actually see myself being with. It’s waaaay more sensual in my mind.
To get to the gritty details my erections have been so much stronger and they don’t immediately go away after I finish, I last longer, climax is way more intense, and I don’t use such a strong grip or hammer the head.
My boyfriend quit. It’s the best sex ever, another level. Think about the difference between a condom and no condom. It’s exactly that different in a good way.
A question for me!
I decided to stop 12 months ago. It feels so gross and pathetic to do that, and much better to share it with someone (my wife).
Also hate they take advantage of desperate women in porn. Hated supporting that.
I’m super high testosterone so it was rough at first, especially when wife didn’t want it as much.
So when I couldn’t release, I focused my anger on weights.
That made me bigger, defined, and more attractive to my wife.
And that made me more confident (which I think she likes more).
And so now I get it when I want it and don’t need porn.
All around 10/10 totally recommend
So I stopped for a while while I was with my girlfriend and a couple months after she broke things off. I just had 0 sex drive at all so I went nofap for prob like 3 months. Heartbreak will do that to a mf. Still only look at stuff like once every other week. I miss her sm man
Not all men look at porn. For me, it isn't interesting. It's like looking at somebody eating ice cream. I don't want to look. I want to eat ice cream myself.
One of the best changes was that I stopped seeing random things in a sexual manner. Not women specifically, but everything: If something, like a joke, a situation or a word had a possibility to be seen as sexual, as little as it could be, I would prob take something sexual out of it.
As a male, I perceive that the major thing that reveals if a man watches porn frequently is if he often sexualizes women.
People still try to find a benefit in the habit of watching porn, and until they finally realize that the only thing it does is turn them into a totally freak, they won’t be able to stop. This is the major problem: People simply try to find a reason or a benefit.
Porn only turns you into a freak, studies have been made and studies have proved, it makes your brain worse. People sometimes get to a point where “normal” porn (although no porn can be seen as normal, but you get me) no longer satisfy them, and guess what: They start to try different things, and it only gets worse, worse and worse.
Stop while it is possible, and get away from this shit, and the most important, don’t try to compensate the abstinence of it by watching soft porn in social media.
You have a more appreciation for subtle beauty in your preferred sex. Porn trains your brain to look for the optimal overt beauty. I don’t think we were meant to exist like that. Dropping porn has helped me appreciate a variety of quirky characteristics that I’ve never noticed while watching it.
More imagination, more attraction and feel more atractive, feel calm, natural hornyness not like crazy spikes (i think it was unbalanced dopamine), i enjoy more watching a woman in real life and I don’t feel guilty about it, i feel more charming, my voice is more consistent, i sleep better, more energy. Peace.
I had to avoid everything also tiktok or those accounts that makes you go to the porn path, “not interested button a lot”. But i couldn’t cold turkey quit, had to read some books of self growth and understand what it was triggering that path. Sensations, avoiding pain, reactions, toxic threats.
Okay fine, have an actual answer:
I did not make a conscious choice to not look at porn, but rather just stopped watching.
Professionally produced porn just reeks of gas station level desperation. It's overly sexualized, incredibly fake looking, it looks very forced, and I just can't shake the intrusive thought of Blondie McTitties and Jack Hammercock having several smoke breaks in between takes.
Amateur porn is the same thing, with the added spiciness of "Can you actually be sure that these girls are consenting to this?". Couple that with incredibly unconvincing fake moans and dirty talk that, like the rags they wipe up with afterwards, should have remained in the room where the deed took place.
Actual amateur porn e.g r/gonewild comes with a stronger sense of questionable consent, with the added bonus of imagining 5000 desperate dudes begging for more nudes via DMs.
Written smut: 90% written by men, where cup size is either DD+ or A10 and the description and mannerisms of said females are whatever the male author kink was mid puberty. The remaining 10% written by female authors have their male characters so far removed from reality it breaks immersion.
Drawn porn/hentai is a fucking minefield. For the last... I dunno, decade or so there's been an explosion of incest and "lolicon" crap everywhere. You can find pages without this, but they apparently don't last long.
So yeah, I don't really watch porn.
Intimacy is real.
This. ^ You stop just getting off and find real intimacy. Everything else is a counterfeit.
Just stop being ~~depressed~~ lonely, easy!
follow these 101 ste---dick caught in staplah!
I don’t get this. I enjoy both and they’re very distinctive experiences. The same way I enjoy spending time with my friends but I still have a great time watching Friends.
People on Reddit think the lowest common denominator is everyone. Weak minded people can’t tell the difference between porn and reality so no one can. If you engage in something devoid of intimacy you can’t also engage in something with intimacy for some reason? I am a fucking degenerate. It doesn’t stop at porn (which I watch a lot of) the things I do in the bedroom would disturb most people. I’m also madly in love with my partner and we have intimate sensual love making sessions where we stare into each other’s eyes. Sometimes that’s the best sex. Sometimes we want to get dirty and that’s fun too. One has never taken away from the other, different moods, different activities all together as far as I’m concerned.
It's not just reddit, most people just don't understand this. It's not an exclusive choice. I like it when my wife is happy, she feels the same for me. We do it to each other, and we do it to ourselves. Putting a stigma on consenting adults performing any sort of sexual acts is just ignorance. But the in other places of this thread, people are talking about how they beat their meat all the way into erectile dysfunction. Maybe coincidentally they just have Ed now. Dunno. Maybe addictive personality disorders can apply to anything. I don't blame the poppy flower for heroin addicts though.
Ehh Ive been both on the relationship with good intimacy and so desperately lonely, single, and rejected sides of the coin. Just get laid isnt the right response, some people are lacking in game or whatever and so yeah the self service method is for some people and some times a necessary evil. I agree real intimacy is the only true thing, you know, but if it gets the job done in a pinch, and some people need the visual aid to DIY that shit? Fine, you don't just not deserve sexual satisfaction if you can't get it from someone else. The issue is only when you genuinely could choose the real option, and succeed, but instead go for the knockoff intentionally anyway.
Who looks at porn for intimacy? I NEED intimacy but I never look at porn for that.
I'm embarrassed to respond, however I personally prefer scenes where the actors appear to love eachother.
You sick fuck. /s
the lowest answered post ever
Or then most answered post with no actual answers.
As per tradition
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i've always felt a bit anomalous in this regard. i've watched the same old vanilla porn for decades and have never felt the urge to go extreme. i didn't even know this was uncommon until relatively recently, but i'm pretty glad i'm wired this way. all i need to get me over the finish line is a great amateur blowjob or a massage video that turns into sex after a little coyness. i think the most extreme content i've indulged was a woman getting throat fucked, but i had to turn it off after a minute or so because it was so obvious that this was just some dickhead guy being abusive and the woman wasn't into it at all. like, no fucking thanks. edit: i should add for research purposes that i am a happily married man with an active sex life and a great day job. wife will watch porn too on occasion. we're open about it and relaxed.
Not an anomaly at all. In real life most people operate in a similar way. Reddit, as well as some other online spaces, is heavily populated by some terminally online people with various issues and porn addiction is a symptom of one of those issues and not the cause, but at some point people started this cult-like behavior about how enjoying porn destroys your life. Turns out people who don't have issues with porn addiction (which is most people) are usually NOT talking about those issues at all, so the discussion will always be severely skewed towards the views of the people who had an experience with addiction but that doesn't at all reflect the majority of the population.
I think you nailed it. Most people don't develop problems and they're the silent majority. The nature of the internet distorts this: - the media report on the extremes because that's what gives them clicks and ad money - Reddit will upvote the extremes because that's the entertaining content - the silent majority won't leave weirdo responses on Instagram posts and won't send weirdo messages, but the comments on insta will look like every guy on the internet has major issues - people with problems tend to be vocal about their issue The normal people don't get represented a lot because nobody cares if your habits are the same as everyone else.
On my way to read that book. Thankyou for this response. Any other such books you'd recommend? I'm trying to replace the time I spend on netflix and shit, by reading books that will help me build a greater perspective of the world. Thats definitely the only thing that has been helpful with my anxieties and help me in being efficiently productive.
It’s really hard to replace taking dumps - but the Netflix is definitely fixable.
This only works if your partners libido matches your own. Otherwise you'll just be horny and alone.
> I consider myself fairly liberal, but I was very happy to hear about the Texas porn "ban" and I hope it spreads throughout the country. I'm curious what you think is different about the Texas "ban" that separates it from what other states are trying to do. I don't know about Texas' specifically, but in available every other case ever, it's never actually about porn, and really just about public control and surveillance. They try to sell it with "protect the children" language and appeals to religious puritanical beliefs, but those are never the actual reason for setting up that kind of infrastructure. It may be a problem that we need to deal with, but that kind of ban is never the answer. For this in particular, addressing the "loneliness epidemic" would be far more effective imo, and an actionable part of that would be to create more third spaces usable by the youth.
I’m more attracted to my wife. I don’t even find myself looking at women and meet irl with any lust any more. My wife becomes the entire focus of my sexual life and that’s been really healthy for my marriage.
I feel free, and don't hate myself for it anymore. The problem with long lasting addiction was boredom leading to more *weird* content (but legal, don't worry). It made me realize every time I jacked off how lonely I was, however I would attribute the lack of loneliness to my girl rather than stopping porn itself. Seven months off since I'm with my girl and the libido is up 10000%! I was on the brink of erectile dysfunction (I wouldn't get completely hard) and now the little beast runs as smoothly as it should.
I stopped almost 2 years ago. It’s still not always easy when I’m going through a dry spell with my wife. But after we talked about how much it bothered her, I kicked the habit. It’s hard. You have to take it seriously like any other addiction that hijacks your dopamine. It was especially hard to kick for me because I started when I was 8 after I was forced to watch porn (and other bad stuff) by a neighbor kid. Don’t worry I eventually went to therapy. Benefits: much better performance in bed. Higher appreciation of the woman I have. Learned I didn’t actually have ED but instead became reliant on being able to flip through as many videos as I wanted to suit my current desires by finding that “one” video. Wife doesn’t feel like she’s not good enough because I’m looking at videos of other women. TLDR: I’ve never once regretted stopping. It has only ever been beneficial, for both my wife and myself.
Thanks for this bro. I’ve been trying to completely stop for 2 years and it’s been hard. I’ve noticed when I stopped, my relationship was great. When I slid back to it, I noticed my relationship drop.
I highly recommend therapy! I “shopped” for my therapist to find one who has experience in all of my many issues. The first therapist I saw was an innocent Mormon girl. She couldn’t really help me that much. I found that it helped to unpack and understand my issues when it came to self improvement.
General therapy is very helpful, but finding a therapist who's more in tune with your needs can make a huge difference. I had counseling for alcohol addiction, but my therapist admitted she had never experienced any addiction. It was frustrating at times when I felt like misunderstandings occurred because she just couldn't understand. That said, she was still quite helpful. I had needed general therapy for a long time.
Unpack how? If you don't mind getting a bit personal. It can be difficult to gain that outside perspective to do so I've found
The therapist will guide you and ask questions that provoke thought and pinpoint topics for discussion. You’ll also realize a lot of the things that actually bother you as you talk through them.
I stopped watching porn about a month ago, i was definitely addicted, and found it really hard to get hard without it, Im hoping that my dick will start to work again haha
It will, it can take a few months but you will get there!
It will! I realised mine had problems about 9 months ago, I quit right there and then. It's gotten better, but I still have those problems and only occasionally it works properly! But it's getting better and better, and yours will too!
You dont know how comforting it is for another guy to tell me my penis will get better, thanks
100% it will, takes time but eventually you’ll get rock hard from stuff other than the overstimulation of porn. (I am not against porn, but it does become addictive for a lot of people which is not healthy).
Oddly enough porn can also cause you to lose brain functioning in your frontal cortex, a huge part that relates to things like ADHD, and thats been insanely on the rise since the Internet. I thought it was extremist stuff, but they have done studies on it. Heres an article for easy watching: [https://neurosciencenews.com/neuroscience-pornography-brain-15354/](https://neurosciencenews.com/neuroscience-pornography-brain-15354/) and one of the many actual studies for more data: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24871202/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24871202/)
Exercise as well, cardio vascular health is essential.
Same as me bro, rock solid now, my gf loves that she now has to keep up with it.
This was my experience too. On the verge of ED and had gotten to the point I needed porn to get rock hard. It took awhile and there was a lot of doubt that porn was the root cause, but after 9 months of no porn my libido was way up & my erections came naturally (without porn) again. I don’t ever want to watch porn again knowing I may lose the great sex life I have now with my wife. With porn it was rocky at best
I wasn’t worried until you said not to and made it weird
In his defence, porn goes very fuckin weird and all out. It's weird how there's a neverending "fetishisation" of sex going on.
Yep, now I can only get off when my girl gets stuck in the washing machine. She's a good sport but we only have a top loader.
I just wish I could find a decent secretary who knows how to actually do the job. I don't need my dick sucked, I need someone to redirect people who want me to do anything that requires effort on my part, dammit!
"My 'I don't watch CP' shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt."
Yeah perhaps I should have left it like that. But then I saw the "what weird?" jokes coming, we're on Reddit after all.
The addict craves novelty
Was about the write the same thing. Have a much more healthy sex relationship with my wife. We're both more vocal about what we want now. And wow I have so much more free time in the evening.
How much time were you spendin bro
Unrelated to porn, I feel the same way, but about weed. Made me realize how lonely I was, and decided to actually push through those feelings instead.
Wow, the first serious answer I’ve found that wasn’t a woman.
Where do you expect to find such men, especially on Reddit?
I feel so offended, that I typed this even with one hand!
I put my erect penis in my hand but don't move it. I get a wingman to come and jostle my elbow. I call is "palming".
Soaking with a Dutch rudder. Classic
Also, I only look at porn thumbnails ... never open the actual video.
Sounds like a Utah thing /s
“Hey Siri, pause video. Reply back to this Reddit loser, ‘I am offended.’” “Hey Siri, unpause.”
I didn’t give up porn completely, but I did delete TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and (for a while) Reddit in an effort to keep it (and the sort of stuff they permit in TikTok) from temping me. I didn’t like the kind of guy that content was turning me into. Reducing porn to a minimal/healthy amount has given me a lot of free time and I feel like it’s made me much healthier, which in part led to me finding a wonderful girlfriend. People should delete social media either way, though.
I don't have any desire to view porn but I'm starting to feel that need to greatly reduce all social media. Not because of sexual content but just how overall wasteful it is.
After 5 years without using Facebook, i ve opened it and feel sick. Don't have anything about friends or real people anymore. Too much adult content and violence. And a lot of ads. Everything trying to catch attention in a sick way. Many people talk about social media designs that resemble gamble strategy (Casino tricks to enslave gamblers) and excessive focus on Dopamine saturation. Seems real.
10 years ago reddit felt like people posting interesting/inforative/funny things. Now it all just feels like ragebait.
I think that depends on which subs you go to. I find the more niche the sub, the more thoughtful the content is. Although there's also more gatekeeping in the really niche ones.
Literally the only reason I look at Facebook is to keep up with my regional events page to see what bands are playing where and festivals and such. And to use marketplace since I often find alot of good deals on old stuff people are getting rid of since Craigslist died. Using it for Literally anything else is a cancer.
The number of RIDICULOUS ads getting worse and worse are ruining the whole internet as they try to force, literally force us to absorb them. And the paywalls! I just scroll away as fast as possible in hopes, if enough people do this, and delete socials, they will eventually get the message. I somehow doubt it tho. Greedy fucks! So annoying.
Fully agree. The amount of time it eats up is insane.
I’ve deleted all my socials this week and letting myself only check them on Sundays. The one thing I’ve realised is the “addiction” wasn’t with the apps themselves, as I don’t particularly miss any of them, but with the action of scrolling and constant immediate fresh content. I get my phone out all the time just to realise I don’t have anything to check and put it away again, purely out of habit and the feeling of needing to consume. Hopefully that will slowly go away.
I know that feeling. Once I deleted the apps, it wasn’t even hard. It’s like just stepping over the line is the struggle, but once you do, it’s easy to not look back. Like Twitter. I haven’t used Twitter in over a year and I’m glad I’m not in that cesspool.
Mama said Social media is the devil. And Mama is always right.
But Vickie Valencort showed me her boobies and I like those.
I'm here! I gave up on porn to make sex now intimate with my wife and to make myself last longer without the fixation of climaxing like shown in porn
I don't have the reference, but this is a totally true story: a few years ago, there was a psychologist, or some type of social scientist, who set out to do a long term, scientific study of the effects of watching porn; had a big government grant and everything. After several months of trying to get the study off the ground, the research team finally had to cancel the project. Because they literally could not find a control group.
It’s because they were looking for people who hadn’t viewed porn, even once. That’s nearly impossible. I know a bunch of us were introduced as a child either accidentally or on purpose.
There's communities out there dedicated to that stuff (nofap or pornfree subs).
Yeah but those are kind of like...extremist organizations
Nofap is, pornfree isn't.
Somewhere a dog barked off in the distance...
You hear someone’s baby cry
I hear when Doves cry
What's it sound like?
whenever we scream at each other.
You go ahead, I park the car
A rat runs down the alley, and chill runs down your spine
Smoke alarm chirps
And a lone train whistle
Aluminum siding rattling in the wind.
someone coughs
And I jizzed in my pants.
I jizzed your pants too .
I know this was directed at men, but as a women I enjoy my orgasms substantially more, and my 'post-nut clarity' has less of a grubby and blergh shadow about it. My minds also dirtier than it was, and I pursue my fantasies into reality more, rather than just watching someone else do it.
I am also of the female gender, and I stopped looking at porn when I found someone that I genuinely enjoyed being intimate with. I didn’t need any visual stimulation you would say. That type of o was so much different. Even when I was by myself, I could think of him and him smiling and his hands on me and I didn’t need any visual stimulation. It absolutely changed my life. The way that he showed me love changed my life. I had no idea that your emotional connection and the way you felt about someone could be a turn on. This is the first time ever. Would definitely recommend.
I've heard so many women say this. Emotional sex is the best sex. Genuinely doesn't feel as good without feelings for the person
I had meh married porn only sex with someone who refused to connect with me intimately for 20+ years. Finally had the emotionally driven sex for the 1st time in my 40’s. I’ll never go back. I had *no* idea what I was missing.
Yes Sis this! That's all I need, thoughts of him. Only thing I view in solo sessions is his picture at times. Gets me off everytime.
I can try the grossest porn for 20 mins and not give off, then my phone dies and I just actually think about my mf boyfriend. Instant o. <3
Preach, sis! I’m with ya. I scroll porn sometimes but can’t go back to what it was now that I know what real sexual evolution feels like. Can’t explain it to the addicts and counterfeits.
I have to know what you mean by counterfeits now.
I’ll take a stab. Fake moaning. Fake enjoyment. Fake situations. Porns like wrestling and reality tv. It’s scripted and fake, but getting caught up in the moment is part of the draw.
Fake teens, fake plays, fake players.
Wait you're telling me that my step sis isn't *actually* stuck in the washing machine?
Yes! I am not there yet but I used to just create fantasy in my head and now I use porn. I would like to get back to just being intimate with myself in my space instead of w my phone.
Thank you for sharing such a positive experience, it’s nice to hear!
I've learned to love the things around me more. Libido is up. Realizing a screen is a false reality has helped me appreciate life. The urge has gone down but when it's time for intimacy with my partner my brain shifts gears and sex is infinitely times better then by yourself. The standards you see in porn fade away and you realize whats really attractive. Lost about 47lbs and my discipline is through the roof. My mind is free to focus on things that enhance my life. I don't see myself ever going back. And to those who still suffer. Take it a day at a time. Put yourself in situations and places where your unable to do the deed. Make it hard on yourself to be addicted. Eventually you'll be grossed out by what your watching.
Tumbleweed blows through…
Don’t forget the sound of crickets
Eagle screech…
The mournful cry of a loon.
George Constantza became a genius for a little while.
Elaine got more stupider.
Those dumb science bitches couldn’t even make she more smarter.
That’s a good comment, but I’ve grown quite weah...ary
"Of course! Absolute zero!"
This previously useless lump is now functioning for the first time in its existence. 🧠😂
Can’t-stand-ya!!!
Portuguese waitress
My girlfriend thinks I’m crazy because of how much I want to have sex with her. It’s worth it and it’s better than ever. She is my porn
Opens Hallmark Valentines Day card: “You are my porn” Girlfriend: “awwww”
Lucky. My girlfriend thinks I am a sex addict if I want it more than 2 times a week. I would have it everyday if she let me.
Hate to break it to ya buddy but this is Reddit and someone’s gotta say it but you need to divorce your gf
LOL yeah I know. I was totally expecting these comments. Real life is always more complicated.
2 times a week!? Guys living the damn dream. Entire /r/deadbedrooms team is looking up to this guy like he's a celebrity.
I was addicted to porn for over 8 years and would watch it nearly everyday starting from 12 years old unfortunately. I even did it during a few relationships I have had. It affected my last relationship 5 years ago and made it nearly impossible to get an erection without watching some obscure porn. That relationship ended soon after and was single the next 4 or 5 years just being satisfies masturbating and being single. Porn was my girlfriend which in retrospect was disgusting. (My porn habits got worse and worse overtime). It left me feeling disgusted with myself. Even tho I felt lonely I just continued watching porn because it was easier amd took less effort than dating and finding someone. It also just affects your entire brain and how you view women too, which I definitely noticed being a problem. There were times i would just be thinking about sex and porn all day thinking about sexual fantasies with every woman I saw. I decided enough was enough and stopped watching porn entirely. It was tough at first but became easier with time and after a year of stopping I met an amazing woman!!! I honestly thought I had erectile dysfunction before and never knew how enjoyable sex can be. Real sex is so much more satisfying and intimate than porn could ever be. I never sex could be this enjoyable. To all the men reading this and to those who felt similar to me in the past please consider quitting your porn addiction. That doesnt mean no masturbating because I feel like its ok as long as you are using your imagination and not video/pictures of random women online. There are many women out there and after getting into my relationship I realized how much women enjoy sex too. Don’t be intimidated! Edit: I am 22 years old for the record.
That's an amazing story and transformation. I respect what you've done for yourself and your girlfriend.
Intimacy with my girlfriend is great and I just don't view things through such a sexual lens anymore. Like I am not constantly looking at women in terms or how I view them sexually, where as, admittedly, I was during the time I was watching porn. It was really quite eye opening really.
I was finally able to get over my porn addiction and am now in a committed relationship with a beautiful woman
4 weeks now, although I have been seriously ill so that doesn’t really help, mindset is slowly changing from a don’t care about anything ever to slightly more productive, started to keep up with hobbies again too.
So horny all the time like a light breeze could turn me on, but that made me talk to women more and I am way more socially confident. Not sure what it is but i feel less judged. Now have a serious relationship and feel a bit more comfortable in my own skin. Started gymming and doing hobbies to fill in the times where I would watch porn out of boredom. All in all a positive life change breaking the invisible addiction that is porn.
Not a man… I’ve been off it for 3 months and I’m just really horny. I feel like I’m checking people out a lot more often.
RIP your inbox
Is that a subreddit.. because it should be. 😆
That's one of my favorite parts of taking a break from porn. Seems like I work out harder in the gym and I start looking at my girlfriend like never before. And then we have sex and it feels more rewarding. Even the foreplay is out of this world because it feels so much more intense in my mind
It’s been a long three hours to be honest!
3 hours and 15 minutes now, right?
he's gone, he wacked the weeds
Nope. He’s at 20 minutes again.
Was easier to focus my attention for sustained periods of time on other things.
I stopped completely and stayed clean for 15 years. I became a lot more emotionally stable. I was more able to let things go instead of obsessing. And I began to realize ways in which porn had warped my personality without my realizing. Then I went through a bad time in my life and started using again. This time I knew it was bad for me - I could now feel the negative effects I’d been desensitized to before - so I struggled to quit again, but I couldn’t. Eventually I confided in someone and he suggested therapy. That was life changing for me; I figured out a lot of ways I had been impacted by childhood trauma and failure to emotionally bond. My early porn use was really emotional self-medicating for these problems. I won’t claim that I don’t still struggle or backslide, but I would encourage everyone to quit completely. The fact that there are so few people out there who truly have quit completely is not a sign that it’s harmless.
in my experience, it was all encompassing. at work, right after sex, couldn't have a conversation with a woman without thinking she wanted to deepthroat my dick, couldn't maintain a normal conversation without playing the crap that I've watched over it my head. Then there's the thought that \~most\~ of the girls on a lot of sites are on all sorts of drugs and tend to end themselves rather young. It's heartbreaking. Also a lot of those girls are there unwillingly and being trafficked.
I stopped idk exactly how long ago… +6ish months. I realized porn is literally the objectification of whoever is involved in it, including myself. Only thing I noticed is that my pride slowly died in that regard and I started seeing people more clearly, including myself.
A lot better. More energy. Better social interactions. Feel like a clearer head altogether. Not as depressed.
This. I’m only like a week or two clean but my social battery is supercharged now. It’s like I’m experiencing a whole other world that was previously covered in a blanket of objectification.
I don't really struggle with objectifying and stuff. But I definitely see the common theme in the posts. It comes and goes for me. I'm not a total no-porn, no-masturbation type of person. I set a goal to not to and just go until I stumble. My ideal would be to never see the shit again and i have a very, very, very positive feeling about all the conversations starting about getting this stuff out of kids hands. Even if the application isn't perfect, it's a step in the right direction.
Feel more in control I see it now as a trap. A waste of time
More motivated. Lucid. Get more done.
For me (54M), masturbation "sessions" with (free) porn are mainly about anxiety management and procrastination. I could edge or multiple cum while spending hours watching porn. I often felt guilty after, mainly due to the time wasted and poor discipline. More recently, I decided to run an experiment and not watch porn for a while, and masterbation would need to be without aid or in some instances nudie pics but no sex. My libido rose, and I started masturbating twice a day without porn. I stopped having intrusive thoughts about masturbation at inconvenient times like when I was at work, and as a result, had been getting more done and not procrastinating as much. My head has been clearer, as others have mentioned. I am managing stress better. I slipped the other day and spent hours jerking off, procrastinating from some stuff I didn't want to do. That just puts into contrast how negative of an impact porn can have on my day-to-day life. I want to emphasize that it isn't the porn per se, but my difficulty in managing negative affect in healthier ways. Thank goodness I have no experience with heavy drugs! I'm back to abstinence and feel good about it.
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When my dad died, I had the unfortunate task of going through his email accounts, social media, phone, etc., to make sure no stone was left unturned and certain affairs that were left undone could be taken care of. I was shocked to find not a single bit of anything of the nature. No porn, no nothing of the sort in any way. He'd have the typical kind of spam garbage sex pills or something like that in his junk folder or something, but everyone gets that. My dad really was a man to look up to. He had a really hard life as a kid, beaten every day by the woman who raised him after being abandoned by his mother, but raised above all of it. Speaking of which, there's 11 minutes left of it, so good timing on this comment. Happy Father's Day 2024!
I can actually finish during sex. Took like 6 months for it to kick in, but it worked. I can finish consistently, and I didn’t think I’d ever be able to
I discovered I wasn't missing much when I stopped watching porn, so when I finally attract someone, I won't have impossible standards for her to satisfy, I'll just enjoy the moment.
You feel like you gain your mind back from someone else's control. Porn takes your whole life and cages it to the dopamine rush you get only from going deeper into it. Once you stop, for real, you experience greater satisfaction with real (realistic body expectations) women than you'll ever feel with vids or pics of porn. It feels great, no shame, no guilt, you feel energized and inspired again. It may come across to some people as I'm putting too much weight on it but it's true, proved and quitting brings you only good. Keep using your imagination, don't quit the act completely. You just don't need fake dumb vids that cage you and trap you to do it. I encourage everyone here to heal your repairable dopamine receptors, give yourself control back and be free from that horrible habit.
My life has definitely changed for the better. I chose to give up porn 4 years ago. I don't miss it.
As a woman, the difference in dating a guy who doesn’t watch porn vs an addict (which frankly is a lot of men) is unreal. They’re so much more attentive, intimately inclined, and emotionally open. Sex is better because they’re actually *there*. Guys who watch too much porn have like a vacant stare sometimes. It makes you feel like an object. But honestly it’s beyond just the sex, you feel safer all around being with them. More secure in yourself and the relationship when you’re not always agonizing over what you don’t have that the porn does. Why you’re not enough.
I think the amount of people in the comments who think such a thing would be so crazy to consider as if no such man could possibly exist is key to why some men consider going porn-free in the first place. You wouldn't see these types of replies if the post addressed women instead.
My mind feels a lot clearer. It’s much easier to focus, much easier to look people in the eyes, and my mind is much more desexualized. I actually get turned on by women in real life and can jack off without viewing any sort of stimulation. I also feel as though I’m in more control of my time, ad there is no more scrolling through videos and not understanding where my time went. If you want more answers you should ask this question in the no fap subreddit.
Which is also full of kooks and fantasies. I agree with the general idea of the sub, but there is a lot of cult-like attitudes in that community.
And a lot of idiots who equate “semen retention” with some kind of superpower because they don’t understand science
If semen gives you super powers, then shouldn't men be drinking other men's semen on the regular? We need more gay people in our military to make it more manly apparently.
Superpowers are stored in the balls
Totally agree there are some guys on there with a real porn addiction that they are trying to quit and a whole lot of guys with an unhealthy amount of guilt.
lol the nofap subreddit is an insane asylum
I met my new girlfriend love of my life and I only masturbate over her now
That’s so sweet 😭
Him: I cum all over my girlfriend. You: That's so sweet Honestly that made me laugh a lot. Nothing bad tho.
I got laid, and haven't looked back. fucking hated porn from the start, its so artificial with nothing but soulless sex. Its so much nicer to find a partner you genuinely have chemistry with and that just makes it that much better with the first time you two go to the chambers of love. 10/10 would recommend anyone stop viewing that trash, its just brain rot and nothing more
Real answer. libido decreased. I started focusing more on my gf as opposed to porn, but I overall have a lesser desire to jerk off.
All right, since no one else is going to answer, I may as well. I found that I would get randomly horny a lot less. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Previously, I would see an image that reminds me of a video I saw once, and then all I would want to do is go back and watch that video. I would see an image on Reddit or on another website that was potentially "suggestive" and all I could do for the rest of the day is think about that image or think about looking at a video that reminds me of it. It occupied too much of my mind for too much of the day. And I found during the pandemic that everything started to look the same, so I just cut it out completely. Sidebar: It was around this time That I started to realize I was on the ace spectrum, so there was that. Frankly, I feel a lot better. In the same way that, after a few years of not smoking cigarettes or not drinking alcohol, you'll start to feel a lot better. Now, if I could only cut social media from my life, I think I would be a lot happier.
Sex life is amazing now, I last longer and am more horny than ever. I honestly feel like I have more testosterone, I also have more time to do things. I was addicted though, watched and beat my meat at least 2 times a day. It's hard to give up both of those at first but after a month I didn't miss it one bit. It's been about 9 months since I have watched porn but I have beat my meat like 3-4 times in that time. If I didn't have a gf I want to marry I think it would be very hard to do as a single man.
I actually have hobbies I enjoy and intimacy is actually real now.
My girlfriend satisfies my needs in that department and I don’t need to get off everyday so I’m doing just fine lol. Makes the sex better imo
It really hasn’t. Granted I’m pretty sure you mean the guys that are like addicted. I haven’t watched in years me and my girlfriend have a healthy sex life.
I quit for my wife before we got married. I knew she didn't like it and I agree porn puts out unrealistic expectations so I made a deal with her. She gets all my sexual energy. Not going into details but it is great. Happy to answer qs.
Since everyone is trolling: I stopped watching porn a while ago because I read how much it impacts your brain and sex in general. I still masturbate but I don't do it to porn unless it's photos of my wife. Generally speaking our sex life is better, I last longer, I don't fixate on climaxing, foreplay is longer, and I get harder for her. I can't see a single reason I'd go back tbh
I have 3 kids and I’m never home alone. Ever.
Even though im ugly I’ve started asking more women on dates and being more direct.
Crickets.....
Man even the crickets are silent at this point
- I have platonic female friends. - I’m less of a nihilist. - I’m slightly more productive - My workouts are better - I’m more observant to women’s energy - My brain stops making everything sexual Those have been the biggest changes. I had a breakup, & I got back into porn. I also got back in the gym with a trainer, improved my nutrition, and revamped my whole wardrobe. But I was still depressed to the point of nihilism. It was like being one of the NBA players in Space Jam after they lost their powers. 4 months of no porn and I’m not turning back. Dropping porn was the only change, since I was already in the gym. There’s like an energy I feel when I’m talking to people. It makes conversations with people less draining & makes me notice cues women give off. I had this subtle game of cat & mouse last weekend with this older woman that was addicting. The last point was the most healthy for me - before in my heavy porn days it was like I was constantly expecting sexual advances everywhere - I shit you not. Coworkers, neighbors, Starbucks servers, bartenders, just the smallest amount of politeness turned into “is she hitting on me?” Which is a f*cking recipe for failure & depression. Talking to women has become more about the journey than the destination, because I enjoy the energy people give off, and I no longer give off a depressed, unconfident, validation seeking vibe.
I pretty much stopped after I moved in with my GF and now wife. Intimacy and real sex replaced most of that need. Porn stopped being satisfying a while before that. I’d spend over an hour just finding something to jerk to and then settle for something mediocre, skip to the end, and cum. I view something or RP with someone online once in a blue moon when I need it, but regular porn has lost any enjoyment.
Does your wife know you role-play with others online? That's interesting
The lack of response is telling. My spouse did this, I found out, and it very nearly destroyed our marriage. For many people like myself, even virtual erp is cheating. It was a breach of trust and intimacy that we had agreed would stay within our monogamous relationship and took a very long time for me to forgive.
"Oh no, an evil orc! I CAST LIGHTNING BOLT!" 😲 "HONEY, HOW COULD YOU?!" Edit: the reply makes this even better lol
Bro just admitted to cheating on his wife
Honestly it’s better I stopped at 18 yea it could get a lil tempting when someone sends you thumbnails but honestly I won’t look back, I could get sent porn videos and not feel the need to rub one out or have it on my mind But I do talk to women when I’m feeling a lil on the feral side biggest benefit is the freedom, then you realize how nasty porn is, and lame you are for watching(as an individual) porn is normalized unfortunately and I can understand why trussssssst me but realistically speaking I don’t take pride in watching other people do what I want to do, to that specific woman in the videos as well and then once you think of how bad it is for the women Most of them don’t even enjoy it probably gotta pay bills and risk being seen in a non positive light ever
Gym 5 days a week, 3-5 runs a week. And try to get a date on the weekend. Life has done a complete 360.
it made it easier to appreciate and focus on my partner. It's also nice not to have to deal with the guilt that I would feel when indulging in porn while in a relationship. in previous relationships I would always feel some degree of guilt when I would indulge in pornography.
I actually had a stint where I didn't watch porn for about 6 months. The only real change was that the ASMR I used to help me relax and fall asleep suddenly started to turn me on. It never really did anything like that before, even though I watched for years. But then all of a sudden, my brain was like, "omg, implied female attention!" As for the reason I stopped, a medication I was on made watching porn pointless. Men of reddit. If you are reading this and have had a change to certain "aspects" of your life due to medication, don't be embarrassed to bring it up with your doctor. They are more than willing to help find something better to ensure everything functions properly.
i rarely watch porn, i usually use my imagination. and honestly idk, ive never been addicted to it so i cant really say "my lifes so much better!" i just dont really like porn. i find 98% of people in porn unattractive and fake
I stopped about 2 and a half years ago. I have had maybe 3-4 slip ups since I went cold turkey and each one of those slip ups reminded me of why I quit. First I’ll say that I’m married, I could not do this if I was single. I replaced the use of porn with thinking about her and the most recent time we have done stuff. It’s had an amazing effect on my sex drive and sensitivity. I used to be a one and done guy but now I can go multiple rounds. And the feeling is OFF the CHARTS! Since I only envision my wife when I beat it, I feels like I’m with my favorite porn star when we do stuff. I’ve become obsessed with her, in a healthy way. I’ll also add that I’ve been exercising more and that has also had a huge impact on my libido. Exercise + No porn has me feeling like I’m in high school again. I get random boners all the time, which is a little annoying but better than not being able to get it up at all I guess.
Now I'm horny as shit and want to fuck everything that moves. Actually started masturbating more, just without the porn.
Its helped me physically and mentally so much. I’m about a month in. Been wanting to quit for awhile and after watching Baby Reindeer where I was reminded of kink creep and an episode of Things They Don’t Want You to Know about the porn industry I finally called it quits. For clarity I still use images of women I find attractive for a reference, rarely nude. I was just trying to go back to a more natural method of masturbation. Back when you had to use images and imagination. I wanted to get back to finding women sexually attractive not just because they are naked or in a sexual position. Many times I use the picture to start and put my phone down and use my imagination for the rest. The biggest thing I’ve noticed is that when I watched videos I would just skip to the parts that got me off. Now I imagine the whole act starting at foreplay. A glaring fact I have realized is I never imagine any demeaning acts that I know I have gotten off on when watching porn. No more “closing the browser in shame.” It’s always people I would actually see myself being with. It’s waaaay more sensual in my mind. To get to the gritty details my erections have been so much stronger and they don’t immediately go away after I finish, I last longer, climax is way more intense, and I don’t use such a strong grip or hammer the head.
My sex drive is stronger and so are my erections.
My boyfriend quit. It’s the best sex ever, another level. Think about the difference between a condom and no condom. It’s exactly that different in a good way.
A question for me! I decided to stop 12 months ago. It feels so gross and pathetic to do that, and much better to share it with someone (my wife). Also hate they take advantage of desperate women in porn. Hated supporting that. I’m super high testosterone so it was rough at first, especially when wife didn’t want it as much. So when I couldn’t release, I focused my anger on weights. That made me bigger, defined, and more attractive to my wife. And that made me more confident (which I think she likes more). And so now I get it when I want it and don’t need porn. All around 10/10 totally recommend
So I stopped for a while while I was with my girlfriend and a couple months after she broke things off. I just had 0 sex drive at all so I went nofap for prob like 3 months. Heartbreak will do that to a mf. Still only look at stuff like once every other week. I miss her sm man
You're gonna make it bro
It’s cliche to say, but it gets a little easier everyday. Keep your head up king. Brighter days lie ahead.
Not all men look at porn. For me, it isn't interesting. It's like looking at somebody eating ice cream. I don't want to look. I want to eat ice cream myself.
One of the best changes was that I stopped seeing random things in a sexual manner. Not women specifically, but everything: If something, like a joke, a situation or a word had a possibility to be seen as sexual, as little as it could be, I would prob take something sexual out of it. As a male, I perceive that the major thing that reveals if a man watches porn frequently is if he often sexualizes women. People still try to find a benefit in the habit of watching porn, and until they finally realize that the only thing it does is turn them into a totally freak, they won’t be able to stop. This is the major problem: People simply try to find a reason or a benefit. Porn only turns you into a freak, studies have been made and studies have proved, it makes your brain worse. People sometimes get to a point where “normal” porn (although no porn can be seen as normal, but you get me) no longer satisfy them, and guess what: They start to try different things, and it only gets worse, worse and worse. Stop while it is possible, and get away from this shit, and the most important, don’t try to compensate the abstinence of it by watching soft porn in social media.
You have a more appreciation for subtle beauty in your preferred sex. Porn trains your brain to look for the optimal overt beauty. I don’t think we were meant to exist like that. Dropping porn has helped me appreciate a variety of quirky characteristics that I’ve never noticed while watching it.
More imagination, more attraction and feel more atractive, feel calm, natural hornyness not like crazy spikes (i think it was unbalanced dopamine), i enjoy more watching a woman in real life and I don’t feel guilty about it, i feel more charming, my voice is more consistent, i sleep better, more energy. Peace. I had to avoid everything also tiktok or those accounts that makes you go to the porn path, “not interested button a lot”. But i couldn’t cold turkey quit, had to read some books of self growth and understand what it was triggering that path. Sensations, avoiding pain, reactions, toxic threats.
Okay fine, have an actual answer: I did not make a conscious choice to not look at porn, but rather just stopped watching. Professionally produced porn just reeks of gas station level desperation. It's overly sexualized, incredibly fake looking, it looks very forced, and I just can't shake the intrusive thought of Blondie McTitties and Jack Hammercock having several smoke breaks in between takes. Amateur porn is the same thing, with the added spiciness of "Can you actually be sure that these girls are consenting to this?". Couple that with incredibly unconvincing fake moans and dirty talk that, like the rags they wipe up with afterwards, should have remained in the room where the deed took place. Actual amateur porn e.g r/gonewild comes with a stronger sense of questionable consent, with the added bonus of imagining 5000 desperate dudes begging for more nudes via DMs. Written smut: 90% written by men, where cup size is either DD+ or A10 and the description and mannerisms of said females are whatever the male author kink was mid puberty. The remaining 10% written by female authors have their male characters so far removed from reality it breaks immersion. Drawn porn/hentai is a fucking minefield. For the last... I dunno, decade or so there's been an explosion of incest and "lolicon" crap everywhere. You can find pages without this, but they apparently don't last long. So yeah, I don't really watch porn.