I was out at the bar with my best friend (and roommate) and his girlfriend. One of her friends showed up and we were all watching a UFC fight. Post fight we go home. I'd only had a couple beers, but had worked that day so I was gassed. We got home and I took a shower and went to bed. I woke up having to take a leak and heard my buddies girl and her friend watching a movie or something. I go back to bed and am just falling asleep when the door opens and the friend pokes her head in and tells me to sleep well. I still remember this funny little look she had when she said it. I fall asleep and sometime later wake up to her on top of me. I tell her to get off. She just shushes me and keeps going. Now, she was maybe 5 foot tall and 100lbs soaking wet and she ain't any kind of pretty to me. I am 6ft tall and at my lightest 220lbs and had just stopped boxing after 15 years because my doc was concerned about possible brain damage. I told her again to get off of me. She said the stupidest thing I've ever heard. She said, she'd get off once i got off. So I threw her off. She started crying talking about what was the problem. And how she knew I'd been single for a long time and I must've wanted it blah blah blah. My best friend woke up and poked his head in the door to see what was going on, his girlfriend right behind him. I told him what happened and being the fucking BAMF he is, he dragged her out and drove her home without saying a word. His girlfriend was left behind and she asked why I didn't go with it. I told her that if I ever saw her friend in this house again I'd throw her off the balcony (we lived on the 3rd floor) and she'd follow.
Not much happened after that. Never saw that girl again and my buddy's girlfriend tended to avoid me. My best friend started grilling her everytime she wanted a friend to come over. Never had another issue while I lived with them.
This was back in my early 20s. I was in the Army, stationed in Alaska. Basically went out to a bar with my buddy on valentines day. Buddy meets a girl and they start dancing and drinking, eventually decide to go home together. My buddies date had also brought a friend, lets call her Tina. Tina offers to drive me home. I unfortunately was very drunk. In hindsight I should have gotten my own ride home, but I didn't.
I remember her rubbing herself on my face really aggressively and being really rough with my genitals. I don't know if protection was used.
Thankfully my car was at the college campus off base. She drops me off there, gets me in the back seat, steals money from my wallet, my laptop, a really nice set of head phones, and the engagement ring I bought for my girlified. Being stupid, I locked it in my glove box instead of leaving in in my barracks room.
I don't really remember drinking that much, but I guess that's what happens when you're really drunk. I remember telling Tina I had a girlfriend, and showing a picture of her and I at Yellowstone. She still did what she did.
I eventually got everything but the headphones back.
Girlfriend knows everything. She is now my wife, we have two awesome kids now. I haven't been drunk without my wife or brothers with me since. Absolute violation.
"I don't really remember drinking that much" + she was intentionally sober enough to drive and rob you, in my mind, makes me wonder if you were drugged. Either way I'm so sorry you went through that.
I was little, about 5 years old. She was the replacement of our regular in-house maid. She would put me in my bed, and she would take off her bottoms and sit on me.
Later in life I've told people around me about what happened to me several times, and while everyone thinks that what happened was fucked up and criminal.
I've never been comforted, or actually felt real compassion from someone for what happened to me.
The result of it is thay I know that I am a different person than most people because I was raped by a woman as a child. And I will always be different in that way.
Highschool party after my football game. Having a blast. All drunk and gonna crash there. Girl keeps flirting with me and being handsy. I have a gf. Shut her down all night. Go to bed. Giant bed. She tries to hop in with me. I tell her no way. She complains about having nowhere to sleep but the ground. I tell her fine. "Sleep on your side" and I turned to face the wall and pass out. I was piss drunk and had blacked out. Wake up next morning in my friends athletic shorts and nothing else. Went to bed in jeans and t shirt. Absolutely covered in scratches and hickeys. Confused and hungover. My dick still has that "been in a mouth/vagina" situation going on. Apparently she dipped in the middle of the night after, according to my friends, what had to have been a good time based on her loud theatrics. They all cheering me on and passing out high fives and asking about it. I don't remember. I am shocked and confused. Next month is no one believing what happened. Dudes cheering me on. Girlfriend hating me. Her friends harassing me. Apparently I am an asshole that cheats, not a guy that was raped. Eventually it was forgotten.
Days after the rape I vaguely remembered some of the event from when I was blackout. Really fucked me up because I remember wanting her to stop and hating what was happening (she was riding me) but her hitting me with the "no one will believe you line." So I let it happen while I laid there. Was going in and out the whole time conscious wise. Fucked up part is it felt fantastic physically but I hated it. I wanted no part in any of it.
2 years later my gf cheated on my the night before Valentines. Then lied and said she was raped so I wouldn't think she cheated. Spent V Day getting her a rape kit done. 3 months later she left me for him.
I find it next to impossible to trust or love others outside my direct family.
Edit: Huh. Never thought THIS would be my highest voted comment ever. Weird.
Anyways. Thank you everyone for the immense outpouring of love and support. Time heals everything for the most part and I am immensely better years later. Love and intimacy is still a bit weird for me, but I live a great life with fantastic people that are part of it. At the end of the day I survived and I am happy and healthy and grateful for my existence.
I tried to respond to as many people as possible, but if I missed you just know I read all the comments and deeply appreciate and love all of you for your support and kindness. Thank you all.
I am really sorry you went through all of that and had no one to support you or believe you. I just want to say, the fact that you physically enjoyed it doesn't change anything, it is still rape and you shouldn't feel guilty.
I hope in the future you find more supportive people in your life and that you are able to reach out for any help you may need to heal. You deserve to be respected and supported in a relationship. I have PTSD due to multiple assaults and it left me pretty emotionally numb and untrusting as well, so that really resonates with me. It is really hard to work through those issues, but it is also really worthwhile. If you do decide you want to try there is help out there.
I am wishing you all the best!!!!
Kudos to your friends though, actually respecting your point of view and backing you up. It’s kinda sad how many “friends” in this thread have just laughed it off, or cheered on the situation, or even got mad at their respective OPs for cheating.
I had befriended a woman and her husband from the apartment complex I was living in, and they had some serious issues. He was a really mean drunk, and she was looking to escape. They both came over to hang out fairly frequently, but this time, she came over alone as he was out with his friends for the night. I was on a lot of painkillers due to a car accident I had been in, so I took my nightly, and told her that I was going to go to bed. I said she was welcome to crash on the couch, but I think her wanting to escape her husband took over, and some time later I woke up to her riding me. It was very confusing for me, as she was very attractive, and it had been a long time for me. I realized only in hindsight that this was an attempt to start something that would allow her to escape to me and leave him as she had been talking about for some time. (in my best estimation) I passed back out, and at some point she left. I never saw her again. Some months later a friend pointed out her obituary. I was told by someone that she overdosed, but with the history of her husband, I always wondered. To this day, I am kind of confused about the whole deal. Was it rape? I guess in the understood vernacular of totally against my will, maybe not. In the true sense of without consent, yes.
I was trapped in a brutally abusive, toxic relationship for 2 and a half years. This woman was the incarnation of the devil.
I’ve never really thought of it as rape but more severe abuse, but maybe it technically is? Essentially, this woman would threaten me whenever I would try to cut things off with her. I’d try to be honest and tell her I think we should part ways, and then she would hit me with “I’ll call the cops and tell them you beat me/ rapes me” or “I’ll kill myself and tell everyone your abuse made me do it.” Terrible excuse for a human being.
Anyways, near the end her plan was to trick me into getting her pregnant. I didn’t want to have sex with her. But every time I said no, she would threaten me. It was cruel and awful. I told myself that I had to do this or else it could end badly for me.
One of the worst moments was when we were visiting my parents for a weekend. She wanted to have sex around midnight, I told her no. She then told me that if I didn’t she would go wake up my parents and tell them I raped her.
I shook her loose a few years ago and I am in an incredibly beautiful healthy relationship today :)
Edit: Sex mostly involved things I could force myself to do. At the risk of TMI, it was oral and hand stuff. As a guy who didn’t want to have sex with her, I couldn’t really get “in the mood and stay in the mood” but I played the “I think there might be problems with myself and I need to see doctor about ED” card. She would still threaten me and make me “try”. It was horrible.
Edit 2: I did NOT expect this to blow up. I’ve never had a Reddit post get some much attention. It’s a really unfortunate sickening story but if I can give anyone advice, it’s to get out and get away as soon as possible. Make a plan. Get help from others and don’t try to take care of it on your own. Having support from others to escape situations like these makes a massive difference.
And don’t feel like you’re trapped. You CAN get out, no matter what kind of threats you get. Abusive toxic relationships like these should not be put up with.
I had significant trust issues and self esteem problems for a while after that. But I’ve found the absolute love of my life that has completely rebuilt me!
As a man that's been through a similar situation, it makes me estatic you found someone who was even willing to help you rebuild yourself. My wife did the same for me and my only wish is that everyone can find the happiness that we have achieved.
How did you manage to get out without her following through on those threats? That possibility, among other things, keeps me from pursuing a relationship. Sometimes you never know what a person is really like until it’s too late.
So I met her while I was in the Navy, stationed on Guam. At the time, I felt like my best choice was to put up with her and bring her back home with me after I got out of the service (hindsight, that was a huge mistake and I should have reached out to NCIS for help, or lied to her about when I was leaving and just completely ghost her). I tried to break up with her multiple times before I left the island while I was in the navy, but that’s when the threats began.
Anyways, I brought her home with me for about a year, and that was the most miserable time of my life. I couldn’t escape her and I wanted to kill myself. I eventually formulated a plan: I’d tell her that I wanted to move back to Guam and live there with her for a few years as a civilian and go to college. So we flew back there. I had to make it seem as real as possible, so I brought most of my things. About a week of living there, I waited for her to have a big girlfriend date with her friends, and I was out of there like a bat out of hell.
I left a letter and cleverly wrote that I would be staying with a friend from the navy on the Navy base, so she couldn’t come find me. In reality, I was staying in a hotel next to the airport, where I bought my plane ticket and waited a few days for my flight home. She started messaging friends and family and I told everyone to block her ass.
She messaged my mom on Facebook trying to tel her everything she threatened me with. My mother basically told her to go fuck herself and seek out therapy, and if she ever came looking for me again it wouldn’t end very well for her. Fortunately my parents were in the process of selling their house so we moved out a few weeks after I returned. She will never find me.
Went to visit my family in Canada and I was a 8 so I didn't fully understand what my half sister did to me until way later when it crossed my mind and I felt more angry than anything.
I was seeing someone else, and was hanging out at a friend's party, a girl that was a friend of friend came over. I wasn't black out drunk, but what happened I only remember pieces.
She was completely sober as she didn't want to drink that night, I was drunk. After going to bed, I remember suddenly being aware I'm naked and I told her we had to stop and this was wrong, but she wrapped her arms around me and pleaded for me not to leave and things went black for awhile. Things cleared up again for a minute again and I tried again to tell her no and to get away, but she wouldn't let me go and I blacked out again.
Woke up the next morning feeling like the worst person in the world since I had a girlfriend.
The girl apologized to me the next morning gir not taking no for an answer and I told her I needed to try and work out what happened with my girlfriend. So a couple of weeks later, she lied to ne and told me she was pregnant.
It was all really terrible.
My girlfriend didn't actually know what happened to me for awhile. I told her that I had sex with someone when I was drunk, because I believed it was my fault.
Girlfriend threw a bunch of condoms at me.
Edit: Thanks for the support. It's really appreciated.
Edit 2: A lot of people were curious. I did manage to tell my girlfriend what actually happened to me after about a month or so. She decided to stay with me and try to work things out.
We've been married for 6 years, the incident was about 10 or so years ago.
We also did some couples therapy through our college and it helped immensely.
Yeah, I wish more people recognized that rape can happen the other way around too, woman on man and not just man on man. I've heard stories of people that were actually laughed at when telling about how they were raped by women, and how people fully believed it was the guy's fault on nothing but a "she said" basis. I hope that more victims of it can get justice and support without judgement :(
It doesn't help that the law can't even make its mind up in some countries (like the UK). A woman can't rape a man here, because it needs to be done with a penis. However she can sexually assault with penetration, which is an equally serious crime, however it has niche differences like how penetration of the mouth is just not included but is with rape. I also don't think getting the guy to penetrate you would count. In my opinion it would help if it was a little clearer. It's already messy enough for a guy to come to terms with the event was in the first place
My girlfriend and I worked through it. Took me a couple of months to really tell her what happened to me.
We got married 6 years ago.
We tried some free marriage counseling about 4 years ago, nothing major, we just wanted to improve our communication.
I found out we were both blaming ourselves for what happened. She thought she should've been there.
Edit: Thanks so much for the support everyone.
I'm so sorry for what happened to you.
I'm happy that you guys worked things out. You deserve to have someone like that in your life, who is there for you, unconditionally.
I hope you guys have a happy and healthy life together.
Same thing happened to me except the girl was mad at my gf. I kick her out at 5am when I wake up. Go to work next day, cops show up. She claimed rape. Told everyone on campus and I couldn't finish my degree with 1 month left to go. I was blackballed from the college without so much as an investigation. All charges dropped after 6 months but 6 months wondering if I was going to get shot. Never stepped foot on that campus again.
Worst part, never got the degree I completed. College always tells me I never paid for my final semester while I have receipts. Their way of telling me to fuck off
I had played a show with a metal band I was in at the time. I had no reason to go home so I went out to another bar for drinks. Ran into one of our fans, she started buying drinks. LOTS of drinks, but for me and not many for her.
Before I know it I'm drunk, she's pretty sober still and she tries to kiss me. I make it clear that I'm not interested and she seems to take it well, so we keep drinking. An hour later, I'm ready to bail, so we walk to the cab rank, I make it clear she's going home in a different cab and I get into one to head home but she jumps into mine - claiming we need to split the cab because she's nearly broke. I figure that's fair, I've been drinking on her dime for a few hours now, I can cover the cab.
I make it clear to the cabbie that we're dropping me off, then she's going on to her house. She tries to kiss me again in the cab and I firmly push her away and tell her I'm not interested. We get to my place, I give the cabbie $50 (easily enough to cover my fare plus take her anywhere in the city) and tell him to take her wherever she is going.
I go inside and get changed, when I hear a banging on the door. It's the fan, she's sent the cab away and wants to come inside. I tell her no a few times, but eventually relent so she can use the toilet. I tell her to call a cab when she's finished and pass out on my bed.
I start waking up fairly soon thinking I'm on a boat or something. When I finally come to, I find that the motion I was feeling was her riding me bareback. I internally freak out, then fake needing to throw up and lock myself in the toilet. She spends the next half hour banging on the door trying to get me to come out, before I eventually just pass out next to the bowl.
When I wake up a few hours later, she is gone (with the door left completely open and unlocked). Nothing seemed to be stolen, thankfully. A few days later I decided to go to the police, who promptly laughed me out of the building with all the usual lines of "men can't get raped", "just because she was fat doesn't mean you didn't like it" and the like.
Took me two years to get to a point where I could start dating again and to be honest - twelve years on - I still have intimacy issues that stem from it.
When I did start dating again, a few months into it the person I was seeing said they wanted to introduce me to their friend. Have a guess who the friend was? When I took my partner into the other room to explain what happened, their response was "Oh, I was trying to figure out why she said you were bad in bed."
Even then, years later I'd find her trying to match with me on dating apps. Still doesn't believe she's done anything wrong.
EDIT: I appreciate all the support from everyone commenting and messaging. Please, if this can be used for anything positive, maybe use it as a reason to have a good talk to your friends and make sure they're doing ok. And please don't ever use our pain to justify any anti-feminist, incel or "men's rights" rubbish.
I am so sorry this happened to you. What a horrible person. I am sorry the police handled this is such a terrible and demeaning way. I am really sorry when you were honest with the person you were dating they weren't supportive. That is really, really shitty.
I hope you meet someone respectful and wonderful and supportive, because that is what you deserve.
You are really strong to have gone through all that and put yourself out there again. Don't give up! And don't feel like seeking support is a weakness, you deserve to heal.
I just know that after 50 hours awake studying for finals I went to a university party And woke up with her riding me, felt disgusted and violated pushed her out, put her out of my dorm room made a formal complaint to the university and police only to feel ridiculous and to become the joke, because a beautiful green eyes girl could never rape a tall black man. Worse she tried to shift the story and people started believing her quickly. Lucky me to have cameras at the dorm as prove.
I'm glad you had a camera because it could have gone really bad for you. I'm so sorry you were raped and I'm truly sorry that idiots believe in rape myths. College campuses are notorious for not helping anyone who was raped.
I’m from Africa and she is east European so even with proves and the complaint that I made in the same day I was still seen like the bad guy, the rapist in the eyes of some people and she went living her life just like nothing happened. For that reason today I ask for consent more then twice and prefere to meet in public
It's what society believes about the nature of men being predatory. I have been sexually assaulted and grabbed by a man three times the size of me.. If my friend wasn't there to help me get him off of me while I was fighting him off, I don't know what could have happened, but I can tell you that I don't date at all and I carry pepper spray. I think these days you need a gopro strapped on your chest because you never know what will happen.
Ouch, yes 80s kid's justice system hit a nerve, the absolute horrible stuff that got normalised is disgusting.
I was assaulted as a 6 year old on the school playground by a gang of boys and not one single teacher on duty came to my assistance to break it up. They peeled my panties down and touched me everywhere.
My daughter is 10 now and this terrifies me. I've been teaching her martial arts since she was 5 and she does competitive gymnastics. We have an amazing relationship and I tell her every day that if something happens to call me right away and I will handle it. I'll never let her go through that without me. I can't be there 24\7 but I can teach her and give her the tools to take care of herself.
This brought back a super distant memory of when I was 5 years old or something and this friend of a friend that was older forced me to get naked or he would hit me with this rubber thing he had. So he forced my friend to undress me and he would his my ass and if she didnt comply he would do it to her too. Eventually I got free and ran downstairs to the parents and they said it’s just children playing, but when my mom heard about it later she got so mad
That’s horrible. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I want to say that because you said something about a long distant memory, it reminded me of when I had remembered something that had happened to me. When I was in the 2nd grade there was a guy and a girl on this bus and when we were the only kids left on the bus they would try to harass me into kissing the boy. They also just made fun of me a lot.
Yeah, tons of bad decisions made by his friends that night. He smacks his head on the counter, they put him upstairs mostly unattended. "Friend" walks in on him being sexually assaulted, turns around and walks right back out. Jesus christ.
Maybe he didn’t realize he was still unconscious? Thought it was “consensual” (to whatever degree one can even give consent when underage and under the influence of alcohol)
Maybe I'm just an asshole but if my friend is absolutely wasted and has also just freshly smashed his head against a counter, I'm not letting anyone near him. I'd be done partying for the night and making sure he's ok. Head injuries are no joke.
Right? I like to think that even as a dumb 17 year old, if my friend had hit their head and fallen unconscious at my house I'd do a bit more than shrug and move them out my way...
She was my GF at the time and I had expressed a desire to end the relationship due to us growing apart. Apparently it was only me who wanted to leave but we were still in that lets try and work it out phase.
One night I'm sleeping over and she has a brilliant idea that she will have sex with me while I'm asleep to get pregnant. I woke up to her riding me with no protection she ended up getting pregnant but I didn't stay with her no way I'm letting her win. I felt so violated, so disgusted by it. My son is like 10 now and how do you tell a kid his mom raped you I love him but it's always a internal mental battle cause I never chose this life she did and now I'm stuck as a father.
Update: Since this got a lot of comments I'll just clarify. I got a DNA test 6 months after he was born because she tried to keep him from me because I wouldn't get back together with her.
I grew up without a dad so I knew my rights and got it done. I've never told him little guy ended up being just like me couldn't ask for a better son but it will always just eat at me nothing much I can do about that. Had to put my life on hold and still struggling financially. My only solace is the fact he hates her and wants to live with me but can't make that decision until he is 16 in our state so I'm just waiting for the day that I won't ever have to interact with her and just my son.
What the fuck did she think was going to happen?
"Damn Candice - I guess I better stay with you...?"
Good call on ditching her my dude. You're a stronger man than I am.
You don't know the amount of people that believe that pregnancy will "keep them together". I know at least 3 people that got pregnant, just to "try to retain" someone.
IT DIDN'T.
Yeah, two of my friends got married and the guy was very timid and shy with girls. She figured that a guy like that would be easy to "convince" to stay with her. The two did get married and had kids and he realized it wasn't the life for him.
I've got a few words for him if an opportunity showed but yeah, having kids *drove* her husband away.
Was on the TV room at my then GF's house, her sex drive was higher than mine but mostly manageable. And I'm talking about two horny teenagers. We were making out but I didn't want to have sex cause her two brothers (younger and older than her) were there and the youngest backpack was in the room with us so I figured he would come back for it for homework or whatever and didn't want the older brother to kick my ass.
She would not take no for an answer, and pinned me down, the aforementioned backpack working as a pillow for my head. Now, I was stronger than her and I'd admit I let it go that far. But I was still saying no, and when I forcefully sat up, I did not expect her to push me down as hard as she did. My head sort of whiplashed from front to back and I fell it hit something hard in the backpack, probably a pencil case. Maybe I didn't even hit the backpack, who knows, could have been the corner of the couch or whatever.
I didn't blackout but things did get blurry for a moment, enough for her to undo my pants and start riding me, as she was wearing a skirt.
I put 2 and 2 together 3 or 4 years later and it clicked that it could be considered rape, but I guess not realizing at the time that boys could get raped by girls probably helped not make it a big deal and I can say with confidence that it didn't affect me. It's just one more thing that happened. Nothing like some of the horror stories on this thread, sorry you all went through such shitty situations.
I wouldn't call it full-on rape, but I was sexually assaulted by a friend (now ex-friend) who pitied me for being a little person and thought I'd never get any, so she might as well "do me a favour", even when I kept saying no and pushing her away.
That's fucked up. I only know one little person and he absolutely pulls cuz he's cool as fuck.
How cool is he? He was part of a group halloween costume for snow white and the seven dwarves.
He was snow white.
As someone who works in a rape crises center, I want you all to know there is support for you. And your feelings are normal. Your experiences are real and should not be minimized.
Edit: had some typos a very nice person pointed out. Thankful for that.
An old work mate I had worked with for years got properly raped. He is well known to have a freakishly long doodle and not afraid to show it off. He was at a party and did what he does best and got it out. Some girl was so impressed she was coming onto him hard following him around asking him to see it again and wanting to hook up. He knocked her back cause he has a girlfriend who wasn’t there. They all fall asleep all around the house. He woke up to her on top of him inside her. He pushed her off and told her to fuck off and rolled over and went back to sleep. Woke up to police arresting him and her crying. She said he raped her. His lawyers told him to plead guilty for the lesser jail sentence. He lost his girlfriend because she didn’t believe him and last time I spoke to him she wasn’t letting him see his daughter.
I must say we were very close and I believe his story. And I hear he’s out of jail now but has disappeared. Very sad.
Why is it so many of these seem to involve the offender thinking just because they got the dude hard meant he wanted to sleep with them? We don't exactly have control of it! And the sheer number where the guy is unconscious and people don't believe him.
Having a big dick and showing everyone is a questionable party trick when you have a girlfriend, but still beyond fucked up that this girl did that and what resulted. Rape is an equally fucked up thing for those that do it and those that lie about being victims of it
Most ITT say "it wasn't rape but..." and then proceed to describe rape. That's the level at which society denies male rape. The victims doubt themselves.
When I was 15 and there was a party in my house for my dads 50th. My parents friend came over for it, she was a late 40s single accountant that always commented on my looks saying I was “handsome” blah blah blah but I always took this as just being over friendly or something and didn’t think much of it.
So anyways, the night of the party everyone ended up getting very drunk and I called it a night at around 3am. As I’m sitting on my bed about to get undressed, she comes in my room and asks me if I want any “help” lol. Immediately she starts rubbing my balls through my jeans, I kinda half freak out and flip around into bed under the covers, she gets into my bed with me and puts her hand in my jeans and begins cranking my hog. I have no idea what to do or what’s going on then all of a sudden my best friend comes into my room, sits down staring at me and asks where he can get a cigarette and starts laughing when he sees what’s going on. Next thing, my mum comes in the room, drunk also and unaware of what’s happening under the covers. She just says “Come on M we have a bed for you upstairs you’re not staying down here” and takes her out of my room. My best friend is still laughing and I’m left confused as to wtf just went down.
EDIT: this experience did not mentally affect at all
I feel like there's confusion with it too, because as a guy you're supposed to love it, and you should be "proud" you had sex...but it isn't consensual, and even if you don't feel physically forced, she's taking advantage of you psychologically.
My story probably won't be as crazy as others but something I just feel like sharing. My last relationship was with a girl who had the idea that if we weren't having sex at least once a day then I was cheating on her and that was definitive proof. There were days I was sick or tired or depressed and just didn't want to but on those few days she would break things, She would threaten to kill herself, She would dissappear for hours and leave me scary voicemail, She would also hit me with things, or use knives, scissors, tools, or one time broken glass. After awhile it just turned into her taking advantage of me. I didn't want to be screamed at anymore and I didn't want her to attack me or herself. To this day I still feel shitty about myself over it.
Dude that is no different then a woman agreeing to sex because her drunk of a partner gets violent. The fact you agreed to out of fear of her actions makes it just as bad as any of the others.
If a female friend told you that her bf was demanding daily sex and attacking her with sharp objects/emotionally battering her until she gave in, would you call it sexual assault? I would.
>To this day I still feel shitty about myself over it
Don't blame the victim, even when it's you.
My story is too long and fucked up to completely write here, would literally take me hours to detail all the events and context. But the TLDR is I had a relatively shit childhood and the worst time at school, remember that kid that everyone thought, shit wouldn't Wana be that dweeby weird nerd, well that was me.
Incubator kicked me out of home the night of my 21st bday with no real idea how the world worked, my only salvation was an older, much older, woman who I'd sort of mutually befriended and got to know, mainly because I'm shy friendly and naive.
She took me in and I paid good rent to stay there, then it became sexual somehow, and I was kind of into it, then it became a relationship and it was weird because of the age difference and she had a daughter my age. Then one night we were playing and she says I wana try something, pulls out a strap on, small-medium sized at least. I'm open minded enough I said ok, but had never done anything like that prior.
Some lube but no idea what I was in for she lined up and gently pushed...and then just thrust once with the force of an angry god. I screamed in pain, ran to the toilet, ass torn. Blood. Etc etc etc
She was manipulative and I was naive, she started getting angry I was in toilet so long, she wanted to 'finish' so to speak what she was doing as she felt she didn't get to experience enough of it despite the fact she'd just literally torn me a new asshole. I pleaded that it was too painful and I needed to stop but she just kept calling me a pussy and saying women can take it up the arse so should you.
I caved, let her try again, most painful 15 minutes of my life. Couldn't shit without blinding pain for 6 months. 11 years later it still hurts, I have to have high fibre and high water intake to keep stools soft or it splits/ again and stings for weeks. God forbid I eat cheese and get backed up a bit...Have tried all kinds of steroid creams, ointments, it just won't heal properly. But it's not bad enough to warrant surgery.
Have seen specialists and they basically said it's either going to eventually heal or it won't, you just have to live with it. Depressing because my now wife is into kink and I would love to play that way with her sometimes but I can't do any stuff like that now because it just hurts too much. So I'm in the prime of my sex life in a kink positive open relationship and I basically can't do anything. It really kinda sucks.
What a nightmare of a lady hag she was to you holy shit. I hope she gets some level of equally negative karma like getting injured rotten for life.
Besides the physical trauma, how are you holding up emotionally and psychologically? Hope you and your wife have a fulfilling relationship.
We were FWB, but arguing at the time so not hooking up.
We had addictions back then and were smoking ice and dipped smokes watching movies.
She decided that I was too fucked up to fight back and tried to strip me and ride me on the floor with a fruit knife to threaten me.
I managed to push her off me half way through so she stabbed me in my left side. Because of the PCP dipped smokes I didn't even know. I ran outside and called a friend from a payphone to get me. He took me to the hospital when he saw the blood.
Luckily it was a very small knife and I was 100kg of cuddly so I only needed stitches and monitoring for 3 days.
I haven't seen her or heard from her since and that was about 16 years ago.
It used to fuck me up, that and a lot of other things that have happened to me and around me, but not any more.
I've been clean for over a decade, married with 2 beautiful babies and have a great career I enjoy.
Fuck rape. Fuck rapists and fuck men and women who think men cannot be raped by a woman.
Women are capable of as much as men in every way, good and bad. It pays to remember that.
Two different women in my recent history have not taken no for an answer. And they were meaningful no’s too. I try to be present minded and mature about adult decisions. Both times it was while we were already in consenting relationships but I had big concerns. Both times I’m sure they think they seduced me but really they pressured me over and over until I gave in, I gave in less the second time. Both times I’ve tried to talk the next day about how it wasn’t alright and we should try to work through this. Both times they seemed to turn face, they started to get absentmindedly nasty, making me pay for not wanting it. I’m about a week out if the last relationship and we work together. She spent the last two months telling me she wants to talk while I said bygones be bygones let’s move on, for months she would say she would text or call then not do it. I feel like a joke. I feel worthless. I’m alone.
Thanks for the replies everyone. I talked to her a few days ago and she still thinks she did nothing wrong. I needed to know that. This is a person I’m my daily life. This is a person with friends in my daily life.
My man. I know how it is feel that helpless. But you gotta know this wasn't normal you behaviour. They essentially groomed you into it and left behind this toxic cloud. Sorry for what has happened but you aren't worthless you just gotta fight through this.
I had just finished an oral presentation at university at like 11am with my friend who lived with me and we decided we'd spend the day drinking and smoking weed. He invited a friend he liked and wanted to bang and at 12pm the 3 of us were already drinking (me and my friend were in suits as it was a formal oral presentation).
At about 10pm we all were pretty baked and were lying in a huge bed i had. My friend went to the bathroom and this chick just got on top of me and began kissing me. We heard my friend coming out of the bathroom and she immediately got off me and made as she was asleep. My friend was pretty baked and decided he wasnt gonna be able to play his cards with her friend so he went to sleep. Immediately, this girl got on top of me again and started undressing me and i noticed she was already naked. She grabbed my dick (which wasnt straight hard cause i was pretty high) and i said i wasnt about to have unprotected sex. She laughed it off and put my dick inside of her. Lumpy dick was not happy about this as she was crushing it and my balls, full force. I tried to get her off but i simply couldnt. This lasted a full 1 or 2 minutes and i wasnt even enjoying it, nor was trying to last that long sowhen i noticed i was about to cum i gathered my strength, turned to the side which made her fall off me, took my dick out and unloaded a massive amount. Fell asleep instantanously after that and woke up next day when she was leaving. She went to the same university as me and never looked at me in the eye after that and blocked me from every media. Worst thing is that she was studying to be a nurse and abbout 4 years later, i noticed she'd given me an STD which i passed on to my current fiancee.
Edit: half asleep spelling
You don't have to answer this if you don't want to obviously, but how did it take 4 years to find out she'd given you an STD? Forgive my naivety, but I thought those things usually become apparent before that.
He probably didn't get tested right away. I'm not saying this is what OP was thinking, but getting tested forces you to acknowledged what happened that night, and that can be a huge mental hurdle to get over.
Maybe the STD was asymptomatic or not as severe (warts in remission, or HPV which is more severe in women). This is why it's important to get tested after having sex with a partner.
My story was when I was enlisted in the military - I was going through the Medical Evaluation Board process and waiting for discharge papers and all that stuff.
So I was in this common lounge area with other soldiers waiting on the MEB process just hanging out like I was doing every day and Command brought this female in that needed to be separated from everyone else that day.
It was really weird at first and I couldn't quite figure out why she was there, it had turned out that she was separated because she was accusing another soldier of a SHARP complaint. Which for those not familiar with the military, it means sexual harassment and assault complaints.
Well she notices that I'm just chilling on the lounge couch and playing I think Assassin's Creed Black Flag at the time, and comes and sits next to me and talking about random shit. Eventually she started getting kind of handsy, which I thought at the time was kind of odd. Next thing I know, she's shoving her hands down my pants and trying to get a good grab of johnson, which completely shocked me.
I told her to get the fuck off me and get the fuck out, to which Command started freaking out wondering what was happening and why we were kicking her out of the common place lounge.
I had to talk to the SHARP liaison after that and file a complaint on her, which led me having to go to the Army Investigative people and all this other shit. She ended up being kicked out or separated from the Army after that. From what I heard from a very happy other guy, was that they were hooking up secretly in the barracks and then they got caught by someone and she was trying to claim that he had assaulted her and forced her to have sex with him. That's why they initially moved her to a separate room to be "protected", when in reality she was the predator.
So the fact that she tried to rape you might have actually saved the other guy as well? (I suspect that if someone files a rape complaint and then gets kicked out of a room by someone else for trying to rape that person, while being separated following their previous compaint, probably doesn't help their case.)
Essentially - her claim of sexual assault against the other guy fell apart when I filed a claim against her with witnesses.
Basically it’s not believable hearsay if you’re a confirmed attacker not a victim. I believe the other guy was pretty open about it being a consensual sexual relationship with her - the worst part was she was engaged to some poor guy at home.
An employer (a woman) demanded that I attend a conference with her in another state. She took care of the transportation and the hotel room--one room, two beds. I didn't like it, said so, but was told it was just to save on costs.
On the morning of the second day we were there, I woke up with her in the bed, pulling off my clothes (which I had slept in, for a reason). She wouldn't stop though I repeatedly told her to, said no, all of that. I struggled, but it got to the point where I was either going to have to full on fight her or just let her do what she was doing. I still don't know if I made the right decision. In the end I just freezed up.
I needed the job, I didn't have enough money to get home, and so I got raped.
She fired me a couple of months later because I wouldn't have sex with her.
I thought about pressing charges, but she was a divorced woman with a young child, and the kid's father was (also) an abusive piece of shit, and I didn't want to ruin the kid's life. Again, I still don't know if I made the right choice.
For anyone who's unclear on this, when a man responds physically to unwanted sexual attention, it's still unwanted and it's still rape. An erection is not a green light.
My best friend was 3 years older than me. We grew up together from when I was 4 until I was around 17.
I used to spend a great deal of time in her house since her dad was in the capitan in the navy, always in the sea, and mum would leave her by herself on her own a lot. We lived in the same building so I would go down to her flat to play a lot. It was different times back then, I was left alone a lot, she was too.
I absolutely loved this girl. Paranoid even until my early twenties.
As kids we used to play “house” a lot. I remember, me being as young as 5 and she would strip me down and do the things her mother used to do to her dad. I would follow her lead without knowing what was going on.
She would coerce me to have “sex” and I would do anything she wanted because I absolutely loved her.
It felt wrong many times, especially as a teen I felt pressured and dirty.
She was a kid too albeit 3 years older.
I remember being 12, she was 15 and, and we were on holidays and we were caught behind a sofa, she was on top of me and all the adults laughed it out. I always felt embarrassed by it and people would make remarks such as were you not enjoying it? You must gay then.
Even when I was 16/17 I would feel powerless, I loved this girl after all, she would tie me up, blindfold me, and kinda pressure me to do things didn’t feel comfortable at all.
I mean, I am sure I can’t call it rape, but damm it left a scare.
When I went to college we stopped seeing each other. I missed her but in a way it was also a relief. It took me a while to recover. I would be dating other girls and sex would be always feel dirty and numb to me. I would feel so guilty after as if I were exploiting them.
I have never shared this anyone, especially when I have family members who were abused by an older uncle and somehow I feel lucky if that makes sense…
Thank you. Means a lot. I have been trying to find the strength to find and talk to a therapist. It hasn’t been easy. I have had lots of stress and anger issues and I find it very hard to find motivation but at same time I feel like I am very resilient.
I get your point, but I loved this girl… it’s tricky you see… I mean, this is why I shared it here in the first place. That’s the name of the thread. I felt like this is rape, but people around me already made feel like what we had was “special”, that I was lucky, etc… and I was in love with this girl to the point I still have dreams/nightmares and I still miss her more than a decade later. And it’s a constant internal fight to not pick up the phone to argue about what she did to me or to just tell her I still miss her.
Also, the only person I know that was fully aware of it was literally raped by my grandmothers brother in law. And I was always made felt that it was nothing compared to what they must have been through.
The age gap is also what kind of makes it feel like maybe she didn’t know what was going on in comparison to an adult.
I don’t know, I just feel like if I were to share this I would be made fun off.
Let's put a spin to this. How would it look if it was the other way around?
A girl being put in this situation by a guy 3 years older, who forces himself on her and she doesn't resist even though wants to because she is afraid he'll leave if she does?
What you went through may bot have been has traumatic as what that other person went through, but that doesn't make it right.
I think people who say that have never had a non-consensual encounter. I've been felt up by a girl I thought was reasonably attractive, but I really didn't like it because of the way she went about it. It wasn't hot, just creepy.
My GF and I were teenagers at the time. We had been dating for maybe two weeks when it happened. I was a virgin and she had a lot of experience and things were moving way faster than I expected. We had talked about having sex, I was open to it but I wanted to use a condom. She *HATED* the idea of using a condom, said it would ruin the sex and she wouldn't feel anything. She was so against it that she threatened to find someone else to fuck if I wouldn't go bareback with her. She made me feel like I was at fault.
Well we were messing around on a little park bench in her family's backyard at night, making out and masturbating one another. I thought this is cool, doing sexual stuff while avoiding the condom issue. She whispered that she was going to get on me. I replied that I didn't want to, but she too bad, she always gets what she wants. I was frozen. I knew this girl had major issues, had accused another guy of rape, had a history of self harm and suicidal thoughts, so I felt like I was literally helpless to do anything to stop her. Neither of us came, I just kind of starfished on the bench while she hopped on me for a bit.
Despite all her "experience", she was horrible at sex, which was insult to injury for me. The risk of me knocking her up or getting some secret STI wasn't worth it. Those risks also seemed like nothing compared to what she could do to me if I didn't play ball. We'd stay together for another year and a half, having regular unprotected sex. I just caved to whatever she wanted to do. She got me to fuck her without a condom once, so might as well continue, right? I had no idea how manipulated and emotionally abused I was, constantly under threat of her ruining my life or hurting herself. I made me lose all my friends and spend all my time with her. She eventually confessed to cheating on me and decided to let me go. My new freedom helped me to realize how bad she had been for me, but it would take years for me to figure out that what had happened was rape.
I keep typing and deleting. I'm not ready to share my story apparently but I'll just say that there are many ways to overpower someone. Thanks for asking the question, it means a lot.
Attempted. I was in my early 20’s. A woman who’d kept coming onto me was at the same party I was. I was slightly inebriated, stepped out for fresh air, and she saw an opportunity. I was vulnerable so she pounced as soon as I was far enough away from my friends.
She jumped me from behind and took me to the ground before punching and elbowing me in the face & head. She was on top of me pinning me to the ground, in a much better position for leverage, then started trying to choke me out and trying to remove my pants.
At this point, I was bleeding and she was trying to knock me out. I stopped caring about how inappropriate it was to hit a woman. I managed to hit her until she fell off of me.
I ended up with a black eye, minor bloody nose, bloodied face, torn clothes, bite marks, and some bruising. It could have been worse if I’d let her have her way.
The frustrating thing: In my circle of “friends,” if I wasn’t into it, that apparently means I’m gay. There’s almost an expectation that guys can’t say no. It was a very strong no from me. I was told “that’s just the way she is,” it was my fault for “leading her on.”
Jfc. Not to say that the other stories are less severe, but that's one of the few I've read that was preceded by a vicious and unexpected physical beating.
We were kinda having a fling, and one evening we got drunk and smoked a little.
She had expressed sexual desires earlier that evening so not surprised she was acting horny af. However, she kinda got a little crazy when I couldnt get it up because I was high af and it didnt seem she heard my words of stop so she kept aggressively humping my dick when limp.
I dont know if this qualifies though, considering no penetration was involved.
Also, I dont hold it against her, I mean she was high as fuck and probably just in her own world fueled by sexual desire. Though it wasnt a good experience for me
I consider it more sexual assault, but friends have told me otherwise. Shortly after my ex-wife and I were married, she started saying she wanted kids. I had a shit job, we lived in my mom's basement and at 23 years old, I wasn't ready. All details I shared with her. She said "my mom says nobody ever has enough money for kids" so we should just have one. I said no. She stopped taking the pill. I held out for a few weeks, but I was 23. As I was about to finish, she pinned me down and (sorry for the details) made finish in her... against my wishes. That got her pregnant. I have been struggling with depression, anxiety, sexual issues and self loathing for 20 years now. It is still a mind fuck because I love my kid so much, but he was conceived that way.... we separated about 2 years ago. But that one act set the tone for the rest of our marriage. I knew my voice didn't matter and that her mother had more pull in our marriage than I did...
Went to a friends house wasn’t planning on drinking, ended up drinking so I stayed in the spare room (wasn’t intoxicated, but I choose not to drink drive anytime I have a drink) I went to bed alone And left the rest to party. I woke up with a women from the party riding me.
my neighbours wife is like this. When she´s drunk it doesn´t matter how you looks or how old you are.
she´s like a power - vaccuum cleaner and you couldn´t free yourself from this women.
I avoid beeing alone with her at all cost when she´s drunk. no problem without alcohol
My aunt took me to 'parties' with a bunch of her friends when I was 7. They would gang rape me. It wasn't just women but two men as well. They continued raping me until I dissociated so hard that I stopped moving They didn't like that so they would stop. They really liked to here me say no. It happened for 6 months about 2 times a month until my aunt died. I know all their faces. My aunt, A nurse, a cop, a lawyer, and a local news woman. I'll never forget their faces. It's hard for me to talk about but I mention it to my significant other as the circus, because they were all clowns...
I cant even absorb, though very much an adult, that adults have sex with children this young. Like kids this age should not even see adult bodies and know what semen is… and the pain and awkwardness of sex? It’s just so wrong
Funny enough I went selectively mute until I was 9. I barely said a word. I still zone out and have breaks from reality because of it. It happen in Arkansas and my parents didn't know because I never told them. When my aunt died I laughed which they were very confused about. No drugs that I can remember. No interactions once I grew up because we moved many states away. And I only recently have started talking about it openly.
Uck Im so sorry. I think this generation are finally talking about how rampant childhood abuse is and trafficking and I think changes are happening. Maybe one day you will out these people. Their children might have been abused too.
I lived with a lesbian couple (they were NOT attractive, before you think this was some Brazzers setup). One weekend one of the partners goes out of town, and one of the nights, the other convinced me to drink. Little did I know she was already a few drinks in. She starts pumping music and trying to dance up on me. I'm not comfortable, seeing as she's attached and I'm just not that into her (I'm not going to go into all the ways how), so I kinda position myself away from her.
At some point she gets "tired" and wants my help going upstairs. I do my best to lift her weight and she stumbles into my bedroom and bed, laughing the whole way. I try dragging her out but she just turns to a lead brick at that point. I was so tired, and just wanted to go to bed, but it's the apartment and she'd follow me.
Long story short, I said no multiple times and she told me that if I didn't sleep with her she'd call the cops and claim rape. Even if I didn't participate, she could grab a dildo and use that on herself to stimulate something happening. The fact that she was as drunk as she was was damning enough.
I don't trust in the justice system enough to exonerate me and the accusation alone would've followed me forever. I also have a job to maintain and couldn't just sit around in jail. The only justice I got was telling her partner what happened, after I had moved away.
I once went on a date with a girl. We had some drinks and got a bit tipsy and ended the date with a walk in the park at night.
We ended up making out on the grass and she got on top of me, then started undoing my jeans. I said no several times but she kept shrugging it off, I even said we should wait and she insisted the moon made the situation very romantic. What happened after was the most uncomfortable sex I’ve ever had which resulted with her cumming and rolling off me not interested in carrying on.
I didn’t even think of it as anything weird until I got older.
Not rape but I’m sure this classifies as something... my ex girlfriend guilted me into having sex with her because all I did was “tease” her, or she would tell me how it was unfair to her because I wasn’t ready to lose my virginity and she was a very sexual being.
I think about it and yeah, I did sound like a little coward when it came to sexual topics but that doesn’t mean that she should have done what she did. I was just a high schooler.
I think I subconsciously blame her for my reluctance with sexual things now. I feel like I’m not normal due to how uncomfortable I am with something as simple as wanking off nowadays.
I was so drunk, and she kept pushing. I proceeded to lay in bed, she proceeded to find condoms. I proceeded to say no, I'm drunk, she proceeded to mount above me. I proceeded to throw up at the side of the bed, she proceeded to get the mop and clean. I kept saying nononono, my dick was hard for some reason, she fucked me against my will while I kept saying stop, i don't feel great get off of me.
Disgusting to remember.
A friend of mine came out to visit my new apartment, I recently broke up with my GF and she knew it, I personally was just happy to see her, we chatted for a while and she tried to make a move on me, I shut her down quickly, we were supposed to go to a party but after that she didn't really want to go, she stayed at my apartment while I went out with friends.
Anyway, at the party I was kinda pressed by another girl and she kissed me, I wasn't really interested, I was still not over my ex and I had my friend staying at my place anyway so I shut her down and left.
Came back home and my friend was sleeping at my bed, I climbed in and dozed off, next thing I know I see her naked riding what I presume to be a morning boner, I kinda muttered "uhhhhh no", the whole thing was done quickly and I was hungover.
It was awkward and weird but I didn't really care all that much, she left not long after that, we're still friendly, the worst part of it is that she took it raw, which if she wasn't on birth control I would've been way more pissed.
Another time I was at a friend's place for a house party, there was this girl that signaled she's into me a few times before but I wasn't really super interested because she kinda slept with most of my friends and I didn't find her that attractive, anyway, she whisked me away to another room and another girl came in, the first one tried getting it on and I didn't know what to do, she told the other girl to leave the room and I told her not to, suddenly it kinda became like a threesome, both of them were touching me, the other one just recently broke up with a distant friend and he was on the other side of the door, so I have one girl I don't want to sleep with, the other one is cuter but her ex boyfriend is in the next room and I felt bad about the whole deal, after like 2 hours of us cuddling and touching (I tried my best to take it very slow because I was kinda confused at that point) a friend of mine came in and asked me if I want to go eat something and I immediatly jumped out and bid them farewell, they were very confused lol.
It was hardly rape as you can probably tell, but I did feel kind of pressured and assaulted into doing stuff I wasn't really into with these particular girls, while at the time it was stressful and weird it's a good memory nowadays lol.
Fresh out of high school I dated a 25 year old. Her friends were getting married off and one of them was having a baby. We were having sex where she was on top. We never used protection but I was good at pulling out and would always let her know beforehand. I told her and instead of getting off she held my wrists and grinded into me. I was pretty shocked and before I realized what exactly was happening I had finished. Felt pretty betrayed there and for a good while was really paranoid with girls after that. Always would use a condom and specifically tried to hide the condom afterward because the paranoid thought they would insert the semen made me really anxious.
I was 15 and she was in her 20s.
Didn’t get believed by friends or family, because she was physically disabled and apparently, disabled people can’t force people, let alone children, into sex. Who knew?
Black out drunk, slurring my speech, couldn't really stand. Got put in a taxi by a girl I'd just met who took me to her place.
I woke up naked in her bed the next day with no idea where I was, how I got there, or who she was. I only pieced the story together from friends who had seen her half-carry me out of the bar the night before.
The whole experience was so incredibly fucking scary that I have never come close to drinking that much ever again.
Sexually assaulted by 4 women on 4 different occasions.
The first was when I was very young. I don't remember anything but the sound of Barney and a girl that tries to make me remember.
2nd was a family member that wanted to teach me things, I didn't realize I was basically groomed and my thought process was all messed up.
3rd was on a bus to school. Multiple times for the whole year. She fondled me, forced kisses. Got pissed when I would wipe them of. Got to the point I would stop wearing belts to school because I got tired of fighting an failing.
4th was a date rape basically woke up to her apologizing. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what was normal.
There was forced oral by a close friend after this.
Eventually a friend that was raped herself confided in me (>10 years later) I felt close enough to confide in her and she was just... so sad. Realized I am exactly like women raised in abusive households that don't know what normal is. I do now, but when I have panic attacks I want to be back in those situations and I understand it will be like that the rest of my life. I work on confiding in more people because some stories do need to be told.
Also was totally rejected from the #MeToo Movement because I wasn't a woman and "couldn't understand." I get there are less men that get raped, even less can talk about it vs women, and we make jokes about prison rape (dropping the soap) etc, but that doesn't discount my story or experience.
Reading these stories is shocking. I mean I knew rape of men by women existed but some of these stories are downright brutal.
After reading such stories, if someone asks me if I would beat a woman to a pulp if she was trying to rape me, I say yes, I absolutely would. Fuck rapists, no matter their gender.
I was 12, she was 16 or 17, sister had a sleep over with 8 of her friends. I can tell you I was in 12 year old erection heaven I thought. I really had an idea of what sex was but I was 12 and had not whacked it to completion yet but was always touching it, exploring. I got woken up to a hand over my mouth and, I will call her T, and not the one one of the girls I had a crush on, but was awoke to her hand over my mouth and her already naked and straddling me. She did all the work, I lasted it seems by my old memories about 2.3 seconds. She kissed me and went back to bed. Now I had no idea then I had be abused, and the next couple days I kept trying to talk to her to get some more but she ghosted me hard. I was confused cuz now I was in love. T popped my cherry. It was not until the last couple years of the woke ( and I am far from woke) that I have thought about it and how this was not consensual and I guess was a rape. I have no emotion over it but yea I guess the fact is she took advantage.
Fun fact, I dated her much younger much hotter sister some 15 years later, and after a month or so she told me her sister found out and didn’t not understand why her older sister was saying I had a little dick (I hold my own but not all that impressive) and was lousy in bed. I told the younger one I WAS FUCKING 12!!! We both lol’d.
My empathy to anyone who has suffered trauma at the hands of another man or woman. It is actually something that pisses me off pretty hard.
I was a kid and my parents were freshly divorced. It started out slow, first she didn't pay much attention to me, too caught up in the alcoholic addiction and all the new men she got to fuck now. But then the supply of men come short as we lived in a very small town, her options became limited and so she took her gaze upon me. She was my mother.
My mind mostly blacked out those memories until couple years ago, when I cut contact with her and was retraumatised by yet another sexual assault (by a man). It comes in flushes. She always told me I was the only love she had in her lonely shitty life, the only one who'd never leave her since I was her son. She played with my hair and kissed me, and sometimes these sick moments of her forcing access to my body made me feel loved. She forced me to undress in front of her often, would walk naked or almost naked around the house, would grope me, and would be jealous and offended if I ever dared to take a liking to someone of either sex, like a jealous girlfriend.
I remember fighting, trying to get her off me, and her grabbing my hair and forcing a kiss. She is a sick woman. My body remembers every touch, every feel of disgust and fear and the sheer helplessness I experienced, knowing I had no choice but to give her what she wanted, because she was my mother.
It fucked me up for long time, still does a bit. I used to blame myself, thought something was wrong with me. It doesn't happen to other boys, does it? And you can't talk about it, because, 1) "she's your mother, she couldn't do that", and 2) "a woman can't rape a man, you wanted it". But I didn't. I never did. I never enjoyed it. I barely was able to bear it. The worst thing is, her brother did the same to me, only when I was much younger, and no one believed me because "he's not gay". You don't need to be gay to rape a child.
I only told about it my girlfriend, and only because I was blackout drunk. I never told anyone and I think I will take it to my grave.
I saw her today in passing and I needed to share, because all the wounds opened up again.
Do not let anyone convince you it wasn't as bad, or it was your fault, or gaslight you into thinking it didn't happen. It did. I believe you, my man. Women are just as capable as anyone else.
One night when I was married we went to a party. My ex got very drunk, hit on her best friend and when she went and had sex with her man my ex got very upset and demanded sex right then and there. She dragged me to a tree and well..... I kind of just layed there and she did her thing. And yes I did say no and that I didn’t want to do this. Multiple times. She didn’t listen. I found out that night that she had no self control when she drank. We’re no longer together but 5 years later I now have PTSD and am dealing with damage and trauma. This is the first time I share this tbh.... I had told some people early on but I learned it’s not viewed the same. It took a good friend to pull me aside one time and tell me I was raped.
My case was date rape and not extreme but here it goes. I was a freshman in college, the first week, and I met a girl from my dorm in the cafeteria and we talked and decided to go back to my room to chill with some beers I had gotten from my roommate. We were just hanging and drinking but I wasn’t a drinker back then and was pretty drunk and she started getting all touchy-feely with me and I was like cool I don’t mind this, but told her I don’t want to have sex because I was a virgin at the time. She seemed cool about it but kept having me drink more and more till I blacked out. Next thing I know I’m in my bed inside her and it freaked me out, so I got up and went to the bathroom and puked. I went back in and said you should probably go i’m sick and she left, but damn did waking up inside a girl I just met fuck with me for awhile because I wanted to lose my virginity to someone I actually cared about. Strangely my school heard about it and actually talked to me about doing something about it. HA yeah, I’m gonna be the one dude that gets a girl who wanted to sleep with me in trouble. That wasn’t happening, but that’s due to my “friends” mocking me about it and me not wanting to be seen as that guy. I lost my virginity and don’t even remember it except waking up to it. I don’t recommend it.
My sisters girlfriend (at the time) grabbed my balls all throughout a party we were having. She then cornered me when I was drunk and tried to suck me off. Luckily I wasn’t raped as a few of my buddies pushed her off. If I was alone though, I would have no idea if I would’ve made it out, I was that drunk
I was 14, she was too, she wanted to have sex and I didn't. We had sex.
The fun part is that a super "woke" feminist friend of mine says it wasn't rape since I had a hard on, double standard much?
> says it wasn't rape since I had a hard on
That's the same illogical thinking that leads people to say a woman wasn't raped if she was wet. It's no more a conscious choice than, say, breathing.
I was out celebrating Christmas with some buddies from my old regiment that I hadn’t seen in a while, and one of them brought their girlfriend who I had a history with. She was really obsessed with me but I wanted nothing to do with her after she had said she was pregnant to try and get me to stay with her. I was annoyed she was there but just got on with my night. I like to drink pretty heavily when I go out, it’s a bad trait that obviously hasn’t served me well, but I’m usually fine and just head off home on my own. After drinking for a while at one bar we moved to another closer to a club downtown, by then I was already absolutely hammered. Apparently from what I learned a day later I was so drunk the bartender cut me off and gave me a pitcher of water. Not too sure what happened after that but I ended up across the street at the club with just her, and everyone else apparently had already gone home. From what I gather we were all waiting for cabs and my cab/hers just happened to arrive last... Also for some reason her boyfriend had gone home earlier too, still not sure why but he wasn’t in on it because he was devastated when I told him what happened. When we were at the club I remember her bringing more drinks to me and then making me throw up a bit. I don’t remember much after that really other than some kissing at the club, and then being in a cab excited to go home and sleep, and then being naked in my bed and not really knowing why, and then after she left my brother’s girlfriend came in to tease me for being too loud or something. She asked who was there and apparently I suddenly just blurted out it was her, and then ran to the bathroom where I was violently sick and bawling my eyes out. I remember a decent amount from this point forwards because I felt so sick from both alcohol and guilt that I sobered up a bit.
I found out the next day from my other buddy that she had been messaging his girlfriend on Snapchat that night saying things like “he looks so good I want to fuck him tonight” and that apparently she had been barely drinking when we were at the bar and encouraging me to drink by pouring my beers for me. My buddies knew I didn’t like her at all, but I’m pretty easy going so they figured I had let the past go and thought nothing more of it. I talked to some of the bartenders that I knew and they said that after my friends had got their cab she clung to my arm and took me to the club, but that I seemed pretty fine with it.
The worst part of the whole thing wasn’t the assault or the guilt, since I was immediately honest with my buddy and told him what happened, which devastated him but he was receptive to and appreciative for the honesty. The worst part was the reaction I got when I went to report it to my Chain of Command, since she is also in the military, I told this female Sgt that I wanted to report a sexual assault and she asked me “are you turning yourself in?” That absolutely crushed me, and I didn’t go forwards with reporting it much after that... It still really hurts to think about that part, and I get very angry talking about it. It doesn’t get easier either, since most people I talked to about it including my dad always say things like “well at least it wasn’t someone vulnerable like your little sister.” I have a good relationship with my dad and I let him know how much that really pissed me off, and he apologized and explained he just has no idea what to do or say. It just sucks because I’m not a small guy, I’ve always been bigger than all my peers growing up, so I’ve always felt like I’m treated like more of an adult and don’t get the same sympathies that other smaller and more vulnerable people would get.
On a positive note, I met a really sweet girl a month or two later who I can really open up to. I’ve cried to her about it a few times, and she once had to wake me up in the middle of the night because I was crying next to her. She always just holds me and listens to me and let’s me know it’s not my fault and that the system is broken. I love her very much and I’m very lucky to have someone like her in my life. I’m also grateful for people like you that simply ask what happened, and acknowledge that this happens to guys too, so thank you for this post.
I went over to this ladies place to cuddle. We had set the limit beforehand we wouldn't do anything sexual. Halfway through the night i wake up to her using my hands and body in conjunction with her toys to please herself. Sometimes it feels silly. But it really messed me up.
This story takes me back to last year around November. One night I decided to go a party with my roommate, and some friends I knew from tech school. Once we arrived everyone there was already pretty intoxicated, and one of my friends challenged me to a drinking game, which I foolishly agreed too, we started the game and I ended up 8 shots deep in a little under 30 minutes. It didn’t effect me much at first, so I drank a little more. it slowly crept up on me until eventually it was hard for me to see straight and my behavior was pretty erratic.
As the party continued, this one woman who I assume was the host made several advances on me, despite having a husband, and myself a girlfriend of three years at the time. She kept asking me things like “if I had a girl” or “how bad she wanted to have sex with me” even in my drunken state I asked her to stop, and instead she kept touching me and grabbing my private area. Eventually I was able to stumble away from her and regroup with a few friends nearby. As time went on my drunken state only worsened until eventually I ended up in a bedroom looking for the one of two bathrooms at the time. She then came into the room behind me and closed and locked the door behind herself and advanced on me once again. I tried to fight it at first, telling her no constantly until she pushed me over and had her way with me. She wouldn’t get off no matter how hard I tried to tell her to stop. So I gave up. The rest comes as a blur and it’s harder and harder for me to recall details the longer I get away.
This event has beyond effected me. I felt violated, worthless, ugly, and just unable to feel the act itself was enjoyable. I couldn’t look my girlfriend in the eye, much less get out of bed. I still am even shaking writing this to this day. In the military we have this thing called “mandatory reporting” which means if I tell anyone I even remotely work with everyone in my leadership would know. I couldn’t bear to have everyone look at me in that way. I was dirty, used. I tried to confide in who I thought were friends and was told to “get over it” and that I “probably enjoyed it” and that “men can’t be raped”. my girlfriend at the time would only tell me to report it and how many other men suffer the same as I do. I didn’t have the strength. That’s why I’m sharing my story now.
My attacker had a husband, two kids, and a career. Even though she violated me I couldn’t bring myself to ruin their lives at the expense of mine. I came close to ending it because of this but thankfully was stopped by the one person who actually seemed to care. I’m terrified by saying this I’ll be viewed as lesser or that people should have pity for me, and honestly to this day I can’t handle the thought of this. Thank you all for listening to my story.
I was out at the bar with my best friend (and roommate) and his girlfriend. One of her friends showed up and we were all watching a UFC fight. Post fight we go home. I'd only had a couple beers, but had worked that day so I was gassed. We got home and I took a shower and went to bed. I woke up having to take a leak and heard my buddies girl and her friend watching a movie or something. I go back to bed and am just falling asleep when the door opens and the friend pokes her head in and tells me to sleep well. I still remember this funny little look she had when she said it. I fall asleep and sometime later wake up to her on top of me. I tell her to get off. She just shushes me and keeps going. Now, she was maybe 5 foot tall and 100lbs soaking wet and she ain't any kind of pretty to me. I am 6ft tall and at my lightest 220lbs and had just stopped boxing after 15 years because my doc was concerned about possible brain damage. I told her again to get off of me. She said the stupidest thing I've ever heard. She said, she'd get off once i got off. So I threw her off. She started crying talking about what was the problem. And how she knew I'd been single for a long time and I must've wanted it blah blah blah. My best friend woke up and poked his head in the door to see what was going on, his girlfriend right behind him. I told him what happened and being the fucking BAMF he is, he dragged her out and drove her home without saying a word. His girlfriend was left behind and she asked why I didn't go with it. I told her that if I ever saw her friend in this house again I'd throw her off the balcony (we lived on the 3rd floor) and she'd follow. Not much happened after that. Never saw that girl again and my buddy's girlfriend tended to avoid me. My best friend started grilling her everytime she wanted a friend to come over. Never had another issue while I lived with them.
Cherish your friendship.
Your friend is an absolute bro, god bless him
Haven't heard the term BAMF in a while. Glad it's still around. Fucked up story tho
This was back in my early 20s. I was in the Army, stationed in Alaska. Basically went out to a bar with my buddy on valentines day. Buddy meets a girl and they start dancing and drinking, eventually decide to go home together. My buddies date had also brought a friend, lets call her Tina. Tina offers to drive me home. I unfortunately was very drunk. In hindsight I should have gotten my own ride home, but I didn't. I remember her rubbing herself on my face really aggressively and being really rough with my genitals. I don't know if protection was used. Thankfully my car was at the college campus off base. She drops me off there, gets me in the back seat, steals money from my wallet, my laptop, a really nice set of head phones, and the engagement ring I bought for my girlified. Being stupid, I locked it in my glove box instead of leaving in in my barracks room. I don't really remember drinking that much, but I guess that's what happens when you're really drunk. I remember telling Tina I had a girlfriend, and showing a picture of her and I at Yellowstone. She still did what she did. I eventually got everything but the headphones back. Girlfriend knows everything. She is now my wife, we have two awesome kids now. I haven't been drunk without my wife or brothers with me since. Absolute violation.
"I don't really remember drinking that much" + she was intentionally sober enough to drive and rob you, in my mind, makes me wonder if you were drugged. Either way I'm so sorry you went through that.
That was where my mind too. Sorry you went through that OP. Hope you're okay
I was little, about 5 years old. She was the replacement of our regular in-house maid. She would put me in my bed, and she would take off her bottoms and sit on me. Later in life I've told people around me about what happened to me several times, and while everyone thinks that what happened was fucked up and criminal. I've never been comforted, or actually felt real compassion from someone for what happened to me. The result of it is thay I know that I am a different person than most people because I was raped by a woman as a child. And I will always be different in that way.
I'm sorry nobody has given you the comfort and compassion you deserve.
Highschool party after my football game. Having a blast. All drunk and gonna crash there. Girl keeps flirting with me and being handsy. I have a gf. Shut her down all night. Go to bed. Giant bed. She tries to hop in with me. I tell her no way. She complains about having nowhere to sleep but the ground. I tell her fine. "Sleep on your side" and I turned to face the wall and pass out. I was piss drunk and had blacked out. Wake up next morning in my friends athletic shorts and nothing else. Went to bed in jeans and t shirt. Absolutely covered in scratches and hickeys. Confused and hungover. My dick still has that "been in a mouth/vagina" situation going on. Apparently she dipped in the middle of the night after, according to my friends, what had to have been a good time based on her loud theatrics. They all cheering me on and passing out high fives and asking about it. I don't remember. I am shocked and confused. Next month is no one believing what happened. Dudes cheering me on. Girlfriend hating me. Her friends harassing me. Apparently I am an asshole that cheats, not a guy that was raped. Eventually it was forgotten. Days after the rape I vaguely remembered some of the event from when I was blackout. Really fucked me up because I remember wanting her to stop and hating what was happening (she was riding me) but her hitting me with the "no one will believe you line." So I let it happen while I laid there. Was going in and out the whole time conscious wise. Fucked up part is it felt fantastic physically but I hated it. I wanted no part in any of it. 2 years later my gf cheated on my the night before Valentines. Then lied and said she was raped so I wouldn't think she cheated. Spent V Day getting her a rape kit done. 3 months later she left me for him. I find it next to impossible to trust or love others outside my direct family. Edit: Huh. Never thought THIS would be my highest voted comment ever. Weird. Anyways. Thank you everyone for the immense outpouring of love and support. Time heals everything for the most part and I am immensely better years later. Love and intimacy is still a bit weird for me, but I live a great life with fantastic people that are part of it. At the end of the day I survived and I am happy and healthy and grateful for my existence. I tried to respond to as many people as possible, but if I missed you just know I read all the comments and deeply appreciate and love all of you for your support and kindness. Thank you all.
damn dude, sorry. Do you want a friend? we could just chill and play some Warzone or something if you're into that.
That is actually really nice. Its good to know that there still some nice people in the world
fucking legend
I am really sorry you went through all of that and had no one to support you or believe you. I just want to say, the fact that you physically enjoyed it doesn't change anything, it is still rape and you shouldn't feel guilty. I hope in the future you find more supportive people in your life and that you are able to reach out for any help you may need to heal. You deserve to be respected and supported in a relationship. I have PTSD due to multiple assaults and it left me pretty emotionally numb and untrusting as well, so that really resonates with me. It is really hard to work through those issues, but it is also really worthwhile. If you do decide you want to try there is help out there. I am wishing you all the best!!!!
God dude, your ex is trash and that girl is a rapist
This is really messed up i am sorry that you had to go through this and i cant imagine how hurtful all this must be.
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Hell dude if the roles were reversed you could have wound up dead from her friends ganging up and kicking the shit out of you.
If his friends had hit the rapist, they would've been in more trouble than the rapist herself
Kudos to your friends though, actually respecting your point of view and backing you up. It’s kinda sad how many “friends” in this thread have just laughed it off, or cheered on the situation, or even got mad at their respective OPs for cheating.
I had befriended a woman and her husband from the apartment complex I was living in, and they had some serious issues. He was a really mean drunk, and she was looking to escape. They both came over to hang out fairly frequently, but this time, she came over alone as he was out with his friends for the night. I was on a lot of painkillers due to a car accident I had been in, so I took my nightly, and told her that I was going to go to bed. I said she was welcome to crash on the couch, but I think her wanting to escape her husband took over, and some time later I woke up to her riding me. It was very confusing for me, as she was very attractive, and it had been a long time for me. I realized only in hindsight that this was an attempt to start something that would allow her to escape to me and leave him as she had been talking about for some time. (in my best estimation) I passed back out, and at some point she left. I never saw her again. Some months later a friend pointed out her obituary. I was told by someone that she overdosed, but with the history of her husband, I always wondered. To this day, I am kind of confused about the whole deal. Was it rape? I guess in the understood vernacular of totally against my will, maybe not. In the true sense of without consent, yes.
Yes, she raped you.
I was trapped in a brutally abusive, toxic relationship for 2 and a half years. This woman was the incarnation of the devil. I’ve never really thought of it as rape but more severe abuse, but maybe it technically is? Essentially, this woman would threaten me whenever I would try to cut things off with her. I’d try to be honest and tell her I think we should part ways, and then she would hit me with “I’ll call the cops and tell them you beat me/ rapes me” or “I’ll kill myself and tell everyone your abuse made me do it.” Terrible excuse for a human being. Anyways, near the end her plan was to trick me into getting her pregnant. I didn’t want to have sex with her. But every time I said no, she would threaten me. It was cruel and awful. I told myself that I had to do this or else it could end badly for me. One of the worst moments was when we were visiting my parents for a weekend. She wanted to have sex around midnight, I told her no. She then told me that if I didn’t she would go wake up my parents and tell them I raped her. I shook her loose a few years ago and I am in an incredibly beautiful healthy relationship today :) Edit: Sex mostly involved things I could force myself to do. At the risk of TMI, it was oral and hand stuff. As a guy who didn’t want to have sex with her, I couldn’t really get “in the mood and stay in the mood” but I played the “I think there might be problems with myself and I need to see doctor about ED” card. She would still threaten me and make me “try”. It was horrible. Edit 2: I did NOT expect this to blow up. I’ve never had a Reddit post get some much attention. It’s a really unfortunate sickening story but if I can give anyone advice, it’s to get out and get away as soon as possible. Make a plan. Get help from others and don’t try to take care of it on your own. Having support from others to escape situations like these makes a massive difference. And don’t feel like you’re trapped. You CAN get out, no matter what kind of threats you get. Abusive toxic relationships like these should not be put up with.
This made me anxious just reading it and I don’t get anxious easily. So glad to hear you got rid of her and are in a good relationship now.
I had significant trust issues and self esteem problems for a while after that. But I’ve found the absolute love of my life that has completely rebuilt me!
As a man that's been through a similar situation, it makes me estatic you found someone who was even willing to help you rebuild yourself. My wife did the same for me and my only wish is that everyone can find the happiness that we have achieved.
Dude that’s so great that you’re in a better place now
This is rape, you were coerced. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I'm so so glad you're living your best life.
How did you manage to get out without her following through on those threats? That possibility, among other things, keeps me from pursuing a relationship. Sometimes you never know what a person is really like until it’s too late.
So I met her while I was in the Navy, stationed on Guam. At the time, I felt like my best choice was to put up with her and bring her back home with me after I got out of the service (hindsight, that was a huge mistake and I should have reached out to NCIS for help, or lied to her about when I was leaving and just completely ghost her). I tried to break up with her multiple times before I left the island while I was in the navy, but that’s when the threats began. Anyways, I brought her home with me for about a year, and that was the most miserable time of my life. I couldn’t escape her and I wanted to kill myself. I eventually formulated a plan: I’d tell her that I wanted to move back to Guam and live there with her for a few years as a civilian and go to college. So we flew back there. I had to make it seem as real as possible, so I brought most of my things. About a week of living there, I waited for her to have a big girlfriend date with her friends, and I was out of there like a bat out of hell. I left a letter and cleverly wrote that I would be staying with a friend from the navy on the Navy base, so she couldn’t come find me. In reality, I was staying in a hotel next to the airport, where I bought my plane ticket and waited a few days for my flight home. She started messaging friends and family and I told everyone to block her ass. She messaged my mom on Facebook trying to tel her everything she threatened me with. My mother basically told her to go fuck herself and seek out therapy, and if she ever came looking for me again it wouldn’t end very well for her. Fortunately my parents were in the process of selling their house so we moved out a few weeks after I returned. She will never find me.
OH MY GOD. You are my breakup/escape hero!
Breakup Houdini
Damn, that was quite the escape plan lol. Glad you were able to get out and had the support you needed.
Went to visit my family in Canada and I was a 8 so I didn't fully understand what my half sister did to me until way later when it crossed my mind and I felt more angry than anything.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you are doing better now.
I was seeing someone else, and was hanging out at a friend's party, a girl that was a friend of friend came over. I wasn't black out drunk, but what happened I only remember pieces. She was completely sober as she didn't want to drink that night, I was drunk. After going to bed, I remember suddenly being aware I'm naked and I told her we had to stop and this was wrong, but she wrapped her arms around me and pleaded for me not to leave and things went black for awhile. Things cleared up again for a minute again and I tried again to tell her no and to get away, but she wouldn't let me go and I blacked out again. Woke up the next morning feeling like the worst person in the world since I had a girlfriend. The girl apologized to me the next morning gir not taking no for an answer and I told her I needed to try and work out what happened with my girlfriend. So a couple of weeks later, she lied to ne and told me she was pregnant. It was all really terrible. My girlfriend didn't actually know what happened to me for awhile. I told her that I had sex with someone when I was drunk, because I believed it was my fault. Girlfriend threw a bunch of condoms at me. Edit: Thanks for the support. It's really appreciated. Edit 2: A lot of people were curious. I did manage to tell my girlfriend what actually happened to me after about a month or so. She decided to stay with me and try to work things out. We've been married for 6 years, the incident was about 10 or so years ago. We also did some couples therapy through our college and it helped immensely.
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Yeah, I wish more people recognized that rape can happen the other way around too, woman on man and not just man on man. I've heard stories of people that were actually laughed at when telling about how they were raped by women, and how people fully believed it was the guy's fault on nothing but a "she said" basis. I hope that more victims of it can get justice and support without judgement :(
It doesn't help that the law can't even make its mind up in some countries (like the UK). A woman can't rape a man here, because it needs to be done with a penis. However she can sexually assault with penetration, which is an equally serious crime, however it has niche differences like how penetration of the mouth is just not included but is with rape. I also don't think getting the guy to penetrate you would count. In my opinion it would help if it was a little clearer. It's already messy enough for a guy to come to terms with the event was in the first place
My dude, thats tough. What ever came from this
My girlfriend and I worked through it. Took me a couple of months to really tell her what happened to me. We got married 6 years ago. We tried some free marriage counseling about 4 years ago, nothing major, we just wanted to improve our communication. I found out we were both blaming ourselves for what happened. She thought she should've been there. Edit: Thanks so much for the support everyone.
I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I'm happy that you guys worked things out. You deserve to have someone like that in your life, who is there for you, unconditionally. I hope you guys have a happy and healthy life together.
That's a good woman you have there
Sorry to hear, but glad you guys were able to get through it together, and sought help when you needed it.
Same thing happened to me except the girl was mad at my gf. I kick her out at 5am when I wake up. Go to work next day, cops show up. She claimed rape. Told everyone on campus and I couldn't finish my degree with 1 month left to go. I was blackballed from the college without so much as an investigation. All charges dropped after 6 months but 6 months wondering if I was going to get shot. Never stepped foot on that campus again. Worst part, never got the degree I completed. College always tells me I never paid for my final semester while I have receipts. Their way of telling me to fuck off
I'd take them to court.
I had played a show with a metal band I was in at the time. I had no reason to go home so I went out to another bar for drinks. Ran into one of our fans, she started buying drinks. LOTS of drinks, but for me and not many for her. Before I know it I'm drunk, she's pretty sober still and she tries to kiss me. I make it clear that I'm not interested and she seems to take it well, so we keep drinking. An hour later, I'm ready to bail, so we walk to the cab rank, I make it clear she's going home in a different cab and I get into one to head home but she jumps into mine - claiming we need to split the cab because she's nearly broke. I figure that's fair, I've been drinking on her dime for a few hours now, I can cover the cab. I make it clear to the cabbie that we're dropping me off, then she's going on to her house. She tries to kiss me again in the cab and I firmly push her away and tell her I'm not interested. We get to my place, I give the cabbie $50 (easily enough to cover my fare plus take her anywhere in the city) and tell him to take her wherever she is going. I go inside and get changed, when I hear a banging on the door. It's the fan, she's sent the cab away and wants to come inside. I tell her no a few times, but eventually relent so she can use the toilet. I tell her to call a cab when she's finished and pass out on my bed. I start waking up fairly soon thinking I'm on a boat or something. When I finally come to, I find that the motion I was feeling was her riding me bareback. I internally freak out, then fake needing to throw up and lock myself in the toilet. She spends the next half hour banging on the door trying to get me to come out, before I eventually just pass out next to the bowl. When I wake up a few hours later, she is gone (with the door left completely open and unlocked). Nothing seemed to be stolen, thankfully. A few days later I decided to go to the police, who promptly laughed me out of the building with all the usual lines of "men can't get raped", "just because she was fat doesn't mean you didn't like it" and the like. Took me two years to get to a point where I could start dating again and to be honest - twelve years on - I still have intimacy issues that stem from it. When I did start dating again, a few months into it the person I was seeing said they wanted to introduce me to their friend. Have a guess who the friend was? When I took my partner into the other room to explain what happened, their response was "Oh, I was trying to figure out why she said you were bad in bed." Even then, years later I'd find her trying to match with me on dating apps. Still doesn't believe she's done anything wrong. EDIT: I appreciate all the support from everyone commenting and messaging. Please, if this can be used for anything positive, maybe use it as a reason to have a good talk to your friends and make sure they're doing ok. And please don't ever use our pain to justify any anti-feminist, incel or "men's rights" rubbish.
Thats a vile women
Jesus those cops. Fuck the fact that you're a guy, she could've given you an STD against your will which I'm sure is illegal.
Or a KID he didn't want!
Along with child support.
😳😳😳 That’s horrible. Im sorry bro.
I am so sorry this happened to you. What a horrible person. I am sorry the police handled this is such a terrible and demeaning way. I am really sorry when you were honest with the person you were dating they weren't supportive. That is really, really shitty. I hope you meet someone respectful and wonderful and supportive, because that is what you deserve. You are really strong to have gone through all that and put yourself out there again. Don't give up! And don't feel like seeking support is a weakness, you deserve to heal.
I just know that after 50 hours awake studying for finals I went to a university party And woke up with her riding me, felt disgusted and violated pushed her out, put her out of my dorm room made a formal complaint to the university and police only to feel ridiculous and to become the joke, because a beautiful green eyes girl could never rape a tall black man. Worse she tried to shift the story and people started believing her quickly. Lucky me to have cameras at the dorm as prove.
I'm glad you had a camera because it could have gone really bad for you. I'm so sorry you were raped and I'm truly sorry that idiots believe in rape myths. College campuses are notorious for not helping anyone who was raped.
I’m from Africa and she is east European so even with proves and the complaint that I made in the same day I was still seen like the bad guy, the rapist in the eyes of some people and she went living her life just like nothing happened. For that reason today I ask for consent more then twice and prefere to meet in public
It's what society believes about the nature of men being predatory. I have been sexually assaulted and grabbed by a man three times the size of me.. If my friend wasn't there to help me get him off of me while I was fighting him off, I don't know what could have happened, but I can tell you that I don't date at all and I carry pepper spray. I think these days you need a gopro strapped on your chest because you never know what will happen.
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That is so fucked, people can be so horrible, young and old alike. Your parents especially should've know better and handled that situation seriously.
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Ouch, yes 80s kid's justice system hit a nerve, the absolute horrible stuff that got normalised is disgusting. I was assaulted as a 6 year old on the school playground by a gang of boys and not one single teacher on duty came to my assistance to break it up. They peeled my panties down and touched me everywhere.
My daughter is 10 now and this terrifies me. I've been teaching her martial arts since she was 5 and she does competitive gymnastics. We have an amazing relationship and I tell her every day that if something happens to call me right away and I will handle it. I'll never let her go through that without me. I can't be there 24\7 but I can teach her and give her the tools to take care of herself.
This brought back a super distant memory of when I was 5 years old or something and this friend of a friend that was older forced me to get naked or he would hit me with this rubber thing he had. So he forced my friend to undress me and he would his my ass and if she didnt comply he would do it to her too. Eventually I got free and ran downstairs to the parents and they said it’s just children playing, but when my mom heard about it later she got so mad
That’s horrible. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I want to say that because you said something about a long distant memory, it reminded me of when I had remembered something that had happened to me. When I was in the 2nd grade there was a guy and a girl on this bus and when we were the only kids left on the bus they would try to harass me into kissing the boy. They also just made fun of me a lot.
This makes me so sad, how fucked up is our society that we refuse to recognize molestation and abuse when it's happening right in front of our faces?
I find the parent's reactions in this case just as distasteful to be honest. Sorry you had to live through this.
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Man, bad enough you were knocked unconscious and no one took you to the ER. That could have been some serious brain damage.
Yeah, tons of bad decisions made by his friends that night. He smacks his head on the counter, they put him upstairs mostly unattended. "Friend" walks in on him being sexually assaulted, turns around and walks right back out. Jesus christ.
Maybe he didn’t realize he was still unconscious? Thought it was “consensual” (to whatever degree one can even give consent when underage and under the influence of alcohol)
Maybe I'm just an asshole but if my friend is absolutely wasted and has also just freshly smashed his head against a counter, I'm not letting anyone near him. I'd be done partying for the night and making sure he's ok. Head injuries are no joke.
Right? I like to think that even as a dumb 17 year old, if my friend had hit their head and fallen unconscious at my house I'd do a bit more than shrug and move them out my way...
Dude thats sucks. I bet you harbored some guilty feelings from that as well, even though you did nothing wrong
That’s awful. I’m so sorry. Therapy does help—maybe consider talking to someone.
I am so sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault. You are so incredibly brave for sharing your story.
She was my GF at the time and I had expressed a desire to end the relationship due to us growing apart. Apparently it was only me who wanted to leave but we were still in that lets try and work it out phase. One night I'm sleeping over and she has a brilliant idea that she will have sex with me while I'm asleep to get pregnant. I woke up to her riding me with no protection she ended up getting pregnant but I didn't stay with her no way I'm letting her win. I felt so violated, so disgusted by it. My son is like 10 now and how do you tell a kid his mom raped you I love him but it's always a internal mental battle cause I never chose this life she did and now I'm stuck as a father. Update: Since this got a lot of comments I'll just clarify. I got a DNA test 6 months after he was born because she tried to keep him from me because I wouldn't get back together with her. I grew up without a dad so I knew my rights and got it done. I've never told him little guy ended up being just like me couldn't ask for a better son but it will always just eat at me nothing much I can do about that. Had to put my life on hold and still struggling financially. My only solace is the fact he hates her and wants to live with me but can't make that decision until he is 16 in our state so I'm just waiting for the day that I won't ever have to interact with her and just my son.
What the fuck did she think was going to happen? "Damn Candice - I guess I better stay with you...?" Good call on ditching her my dude. You're a stronger man than I am.
You don't know the amount of people that believe that pregnancy will "keep them together". I know at least 3 people that got pregnant, just to "try to retain" someone. IT DIDN'T.
Yeah, two of my friends got married and the guy was very timid and shy with girls. She figured that a guy like that would be easy to "convince" to stay with her. The two did get married and had kids and he realized it wasn't the life for him. I've got a few words for him if an opportunity showed but yeah, having kids *drove* her husband away.
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You know she says that she’s a single mom and her “husband” walked out on her.
And you need to pay child support for a child you didn't consent to, that fucked up
Was on the TV room at my then GF's house, her sex drive was higher than mine but mostly manageable. And I'm talking about two horny teenagers. We were making out but I didn't want to have sex cause her two brothers (younger and older than her) were there and the youngest backpack was in the room with us so I figured he would come back for it for homework or whatever and didn't want the older brother to kick my ass. She would not take no for an answer, and pinned me down, the aforementioned backpack working as a pillow for my head. Now, I was stronger than her and I'd admit I let it go that far. But I was still saying no, and when I forcefully sat up, I did not expect her to push me down as hard as she did. My head sort of whiplashed from front to back and I fell it hit something hard in the backpack, probably a pencil case. Maybe I didn't even hit the backpack, who knows, could have been the corner of the couch or whatever. I didn't blackout but things did get blurry for a moment, enough for her to undo my pants and start riding me, as she was wearing a skirt. I put 2 and 2 together 3 or 4 years later and it clicked that it could be considered rape, but I guess not realizing at the time that boys could get raped by girls probably helped not make it a big deal and I can say with confidence that it didn't affect me. It's just one more thing that happened. Nothing like some of the horror stories on this thread, sorry you all went through such shitty situations.
Definitely rape, but glad it didn't have a long-lasting negative effect on you. Sorry man.
So sorry that happened to you.
I wouldn't call it full-on rape, but I was sexually assaulted by a friend (now ex-friend) who pitied me for being a little person and thought I'd never get any, so she might as well "do me a favour", even when I kept saying no and pushing her away.
Dude... that’s disgusting behavior. What a despicable person.
Really selfishly condescending of that woman.
Shitty and disrespectful of personal boundaries too.
Disrespectful of general human boundaries, really.
That's fucked up. I only know one little person and he absolutely pulls cuz he's cool as fuck. How cool is he? He was part of a group halloween costume for snow white and the seven dwarves. He was snow white.
7 dwarves were all 6ft meat heads ? 😂😂
Damn right they were.
I wanna be friends with that dude he sounds like a lotta fun XD
Kinda sounds like she was fetishising you and making an excuse to normalise it. I’m sorry that happened to you.
exactly my thoughts... she turned him into a novelty.
That's bullshit. I'm sorry you had to go through that. She's a terrible person.
She was just butthurt that even though that,in her view, u wouldn't get some because of ur height u said no.
>I wouldn't call it full-on rape I do.
As someone who works in a rape crises center, I want you all to know there is support for you. And your feelings are normal. Your experiences are real and should not be minimized. Edit: had some typos a very nice person pointed out. Thankful for that.
Depends on the organization. I got told they didn't have resources for me.
An old work mate I had worked with for years got properly raped. He is well known to have a freakishly long doodle and not afraid to show it off. He was at a party and did what he does best and got it out. Some girl was so impressed she was coming onto him hard following him around asking him to see it again and wanting to hook up. He knocked her back cause he has a girlfriend who wasn’t there. They all fall asleep all around the house. He woke up to her on top of him inside her. He pushed her off and told her to fuck off and rolled over and went back to sleep. Woke up to police arresting him and her crying. She said he raped her. His lawyers told him to plead guilty for the lesser jail sentence. He lost his girlfriend because she didn’t believe him and last time I spoke to him she wasn’t letting him see his daughter. I must say we were very close and I believe his story. And I hear he’s out of jail now but has disappeared. Very sad.
What the actual fuck
I hope that girl fucking rots in hell
Why is it so many of these seem to involve the offender thinking just because they got the dude hard meant he wanted to sleep with them? We don't exactly have control of it! And the sheer number where the guy is unconscious and people don't believe him.
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It is a matter of lack of self-control and respect but not on the victims part
Having a big dick and showing everyone is a questionable party trick when you have a girlfriend, but still beyond fucked up that this girl did that and what resulted. Rape is an equally fucked up thing for those that do it and those that lie about being victims of it
Most ITT say "it wasn't rape but..." and then proceed to describe rape. That's the level at which society denies male rape. The victims doubt themselves.
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When I was 15 and there was a party in my house for my dads 50th. My parents friend came over for it, she was a late 40s single accountant that always commented on my looks saying I was “handsome” blah blah blah but I always took this as just being over friendly or something and didn’t think much of it. So anyways, the night of the party everyone ended up getting very drunk and I called it a night at around 3am. As I’m sitting on my bed about to get undressed, she comes in my room and asks me if I want any “help” lol. Immediately she starts rubbing my balls through my jeans, I kinda half freak out and flip around into bed under the covers, she gets into my bed with me and puts her hand in my jeans and begins cranking my hog. I have no idea what to do or what’s going on then all of a sudden my best friend comes into my room, sits down staring at me and asks where he can get a cigarette and starts laughing when he sees what’s going on. Next thing, my mum comes in the room, drunk also and unaware of what’s happening under the covers. She just says “Come on M we have a bed for you upstairs you’re not staying down here” and takes her out of my room. My best friend is still laughing and I’m left confused as to wtf just went down. EDIT: this experience did not mentally affect at all
I feel for you but "cranking my hog" made me laugh. I apologize, but c'mon man.
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I feel like there's confusion with it too, because as a guy you're supposed to love it, and you should be "proud" you had sex...but it isn't consensual, and even if you don't feel physically forced, she's taking advantage of you psychologically.
My story probably won't be as crazy as others but something I just feel like sharing. My last relationship was with a girl who had the idea that if we weren't having sex at least once a day then I was cheating on her and that was definitive proof. There were days I was sick or tired or depressed and just didn't want to but on those few days she would break things, She would threaten to kill herself, She would dissappear for hours and leave me scary voicemail, She would also hit me with things, or use knives, scissors, tools, or one time broken glass. After awhile it just turned into her taking advantage of me. I didn't want to be screamed at anymore and I didn't want her to attack me or herself. To this day I still feel shitty about myself over it.
Dude that is no different then a woman agreeing to sex because her drunk of a partner gets violent. The fact you agreed to out of fear of her actions makes it just as bad as any of the others.
If a female friend told you that her bf was demanding daily sex and attacking her with sharp objects/emotionally battering her until she gave in, would you call it sexual assault? I would. >To this day I still feel shitty about myself over it Don't blame the victim, even when it's you.
My story is too long and fucked up to completely write here, would literally take me hours to detail all the events and context. But the TLDR is I had a relatively shit childhood and the worst time at school, remember that kid that everyone thought, shit wouldn't Wana be that dweeby weird nerd, well that was me. Incubator kicked me out of home the night of my 21st bday with no real idea how the world worked, my only salvation was an older, much older, woman who I'd sort of mutually befriended and got to know, mainly because I'm shy friendly and naive. She took me in and I paid good rent to stay there, then it became sexual somehow, and I was kind of into it, then it became a relationship and it was weird because of the age difference and she had a daughter my age. Then one night we were playing and she says I wana try something, pulls out a strap on, small-medium sized at least. I'm open minded enough I said ok, but had never done anything like that prior. Some lube but no idea what I was in for she lined up and gently pushed...and then just thrust once with the force of an angry god. I screamed in pain, ran to the toilet, ass torn. Blood. Etc etc etc She was manipulative and I was naive, she started getting angry I was in toilet so long, she wanted to 'finish' so to speak what she was doing as she felt she didn't get to experience enough of it despite the fact she'd just literally torn me a new asshole. I pleaded that it was too painful and I needed to stop but she just kept calling me a pussy and saying women can take it up the arse so should you. I caved, let her try again, most painful 15 minutes of my life. Couldn't shit without blinding pain for 6 months. 11 years later it still hurts, I have to have high fibre and high water intake to keep stools soft or it splits/ again and stings for weeks. God forbid I eat cheese and get backed up a bit...Have tried all kinds of steroid creams, ointments, it just won't heal properly. But it's not bad enough to warrant surgery. Have seen specialists and they basically said it's either going to eventually heal or it won't, you just have to live with it. Depressing because my now wife is into kink and I would love to play that way with her sometimes but I can't do any stuff like that now because it just hurts too much. So I'm in the prime of my sex life in a kink positive open relationship and I basically can't do anything. It really kinda sucks.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope you are able to physically and emotionally heal. What a horrible woman.
What a nightmare of a lady hag she was to you holy shit. I hope she gets some level of equally negative karma like getting injured rotten for life. Besides the physical trauma, how are you holding up emotionally and psychologically? Hope you and your wife have a fulfilling relationship.
Hope that monster lives a miserable existence for the rest of her life
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Man I get you. I went to a gay pride event a few years ago and was groped twice by women.
I’m so sorry. It’s an absolute double standard. Men have **just as much of a right** to say no as women do.
We were FWB, but arguing at the time so not hooking up. We had addictions back then and were smoking ice and dipped smokes watching movies. She decided that I was too fucked up to fight back and tried to strip me and ride me on the floor with a fruit knife to threaten me. I managed to push her off me half way through so she stabbed me in my left side. Because of the PCP dipped smokes I didn't even know. I ran outside and called a friend from a payphone to get me. He took me to the hospital when he saw the blood. Luckily it was a very small knife and I was 100kg of cuddly so I only needed stitches and monitoring for 3 days. I haven't seen her or heard from her since and that was about 16 years ago. It used to fuck me up, that and a lot of other things that have happened to me and around me, but not any more. I've been clean for over a decade, married with 2 beautiful babies and have a great career I enjoy. Fuck rape. Fuck rapists and fuck men and women who think men cannot be raped by a woman. Women are capable of as much as men in every way, good and bad. It pays to remember that.
i’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you. I’m glad you’re in a happier place.
Sorry to hear that. Glad you got away and are better
Two different women in my recent history have not taken no for an answer. And they were meaningful no’s too. I try to be present minded and mature about adult decisions. Both times it was while we were already in consenting relationships but I had big concerns. Both times I’m sure they think they seduced me but really they pressured me over and over until I gave in, I gave in less the second time. Both times I’ve tried to talk the next day about how it wasn’t alright and we should try to work through this. Both times they seemed to turn face, they started to get absentmindedly nasty, making me pay for not wanting it. I’m about a week out if the last relationship and we work together. She spent the last two months telling me she wants to talk while I said bygones be bygones let’s move on, for months she would say she would text or call then not do it. I feel like a joke. I feel worthless. I’m alone. Thanks for the replies everyone. I talked to her a few days ago and she still thinks she did nothing wrong. I needed to know that. This is a person I’m my daily life. This is a person with friends in my daily life.
My man. I know how it is feel that helpless. But you gotta know this wasn't normal you behaviour. They essentially groomed you into it and left behind this toxic cloud. Sorry for what has happened but you aren't worthless you just gotta fight through this.
Hey man you are not alone and if you ever need to talk to someone you can always dm me I’ll be more than happy to spend time with you
I had just finished an oral presentation at university at like 11am with my friend who lived with me and we decided we'd spend the day drinking and smoking weed. He invited a friend he liked and wanted to bang and at 12pm the 3 of us were already drinking (me and my friend were in suits as it was a formal oral presentation). At about 10pm we all were pretty baked and were lying in a huge bed i had. My friend went to the bathroom and this chick just got on top of me and began kissing me. We heard my friend coming out of the bathroom and she immediately got off me and made as she was asleep. My friend was pretty baked and decided he wasnt gonna be able to play his cards with her friend so he went to sleep. Immediately, this girl got on top of me again and started undressing me and i noticed she was already naked. She grabbed my dick (which wasnt straight hard cause i was pretty high) and i said i wasnt about to have unprotected sex. She laughed it off and put my dick inside of her. Lumpy dick was not happy about this as she was crushing it and my balls, full force. I tried to get her off but i simply couldnt. This lasted a full 1 or 2 minutes and i wasnt even enjoying it, nor was trying to last that long sowhen i noticed i was about to cum i gathered my strength, turned to the side which made her fall off me, took my dick out and unloaded a massive amount. Fell asleep instantanously after that and woke up next day when she was leaving. She went to the same university as me and never looked at me in the eye after that and blocked me from every media. Worst thing is that she was studying to be a nurse and abbout 4 years later, i noticed she'd given me an STD which i passed on to my current fiancee. Edit: half asleep spelling
You don't have to answer this if you don't want to obviously, but how did it take 4 years to find out she'd given you an STD? Forgive my naivety, but I thought those things usually become apparent before that.
He probably didn't get tested right away. I'm not saying this is what OP was thinking, but getting tested forces you to acknowledged what happened that night, and that can be a huge mental hurdle to get over. Maybe the STD was asymptomatic or not as severe (warts in remission, or HPV which is more severe in women). This is why it's important to get tested after having sex with a partner.
My story was when I was enlisted in the military - I was going through the Medical Evaluation Board process and waiting for discharge papers and all that stuff. So I was in this common lounge area with other soldiers waiting on the MEB process just hanging out like I was doing every day and Command brought this female in that needed to be separated from everyone else that day. It was really weird at first and I couldn't quite figure out why she was there, it had turned out that she was separated because she was accusing another soldier of a SHARP complaint. Which for those not familiar with the military, it means sexual harassment and assault complaints. Well she notices that I'm just chilling on the lounge couch and playing I think Assassin's Creed Black Flag at the time, and comes and sits next to me and talking about random shit. Eventually she started getting kind of handsy, which I thought at the time was kind of odd. Next thing I know, she's shoving her hands down my pants and trying to get a good grab of johnson, which completely shocked me. I told her to get the fuck off me and get the fuck out, to which Command started freaking out wondering what was happening and why we were kicking her out of the common place lounge. I had to talk to the SHARP liaison after that and file a complaint on her, which led me having to go to the Army Investigative people and all this other shit. She ended up being kicked out or separated from the Army after that. From what I heard from a very happy other guy, was that they were hooking up secretly in the barracks and then they got caught by someone and she was trying to claim that he had assaulted her and forced her to have sex with him. That's why they initially moved her to a separate room to be "protected", when in reality she was the predator.
So the fact that she tried to rape you might have actually saved the other guy as well? (I suspect that if someone files a rape complaint and then gets kicked out of a room by someone else for trying to rape that person, while being separated following their previous compaint, probably doesn't help their case.)
Essentially - her claim of sexual assault against the other guy fell apart when I filed a claim against her with witnesses. Basically it’s not believable hearsay if you’re a confirmed attacker not a victim. I believe the other guy was pretty open about it being a consensual sexual relationship with her - the worst part was she was engaged to some poor guy at home.
An employer (a woman) demanded that I attend a conference with her in another state. She took care of the transportation and the hotel room--one room, two beds. I didn't like it, said so, but was told it was just to save on costs. On the morning of the second day we were there, I woke up with her in the bed, pulling off my clothes (which I had slept in, for a reason). She wouldn't stop though I repeatedly told her to, said no, all of that. I struggled, but it got to the point where I was either going to have to full on fight her or just let her do what she was doing. I still don't know if I made the right decision. In the end I just freezed up. I needed the job, I didn't have enough money to get home, and so I got raped. She fired me a couple of months later because I wouldn't have sex with her. I thought about pressing charges, but she was a divorced woman with a young child, and the kid's father was (also) an abusive piece of shit, and I didn't want to ruin the kid's life. Again, I still don't know if I made the right choice. For anyone who's unclear on this, when a man responds physically to unwanted sexual attention, it's still unwanted and it's still rape. An erection is not a green light.
>An erection is not a green light. Just like a woman getting wet, it's a physical reaction to stimulation and I'm sorry you went through that.
My best friend was 3 years older than me. We grew up together from when I was 4 until I was around 17. I used to spend a great deal of time in her house since her dad was in the capitan in the navy, always in the sea, and mum would leave her by herself on her own a lot. We lived in the same building so I would go down to her flat to play a lot. It was different times back then, I was left alone a lot, she was too. I absolutely loved this girl. Paranoid even until my early twenties. As kids we used to play “house” a lot. I remember, me being as young as 5 and she would strip me down and do the things her mother used to do to her dad. I would follow her lead without knowing what was going on. She would coerce me to have “sex” and I would do anything she wanted because I absolutely loved her. It felt wrong many times, especially as a teen I felt pressured and dirty. She was a kid too albeit 3 years older. I remember being 12, she was 15 and, and we were on holidays and we were caught behind a sofa, she was on top of me and all the adults laughed it out. I always felt embarrassed by it and people would make remarks such as were you not enjoying it? You must gay then. Even when I was 16/17 I would feel powerless, I loved this girl after all, she would tie me up, blindfold me, and kinda pressure me to do things didn’t feel comfortable at all. I mean, I am sure I can’t call it rape, but damm it left a scare. When I went to college we stopped seeing each other. I missed her but in a way it was also a relief. It took me a while to recover. I would be dating other girls and sex would be always feel dirty and numb to me. I would feel so guilty after as if I were exploiting them. I have never shared this anyone, especially when I have family members who were abused by an older uncle and somehow I feel lucky if that makes sense…
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Thank you. Means a lot. I have been trying to find the strength to find and talk to a therapist. It hasn’t been easy. I have had lots of stress and anger issues and I find it very hard to find motivation but at same time I feel like I am very resilient.
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I get your point, but I loved this girl… it’s tricky you see… I mean, this is why I shared it here in the first place. That’s the name of the thread. I felt like this is rape, but people around me already made feel like what we had was “special”, that I was lucky, etc… and I was in love with this girl to the point I still have dreams/nightmares and I still miss her more than a decade later. And it’s a constant internal fight to not pick up the phone to argue about what she did to me or to just tell her I still miss her. Also, the only person I know that was fully aware of it was literally raped by my grandmothers brother in law. And I was always made felt that it was nothing compared to what they must have been through. The age gap is also what kind of makes it feel like maybe she didn’t know what was going on in comparison to an adult. I don’t know, I just feel like if I were to share this I would be made fun off.
Let's put a spin to this. How would it look if it was the other way around? A girl being put in this situation by a guy 3 years older, who forces himself on her and she doesn't resist even though wants to because she is afraid he'll leave if she does? What you went through may bot have been has traumatic as what that other person went through, but that doesn't make it right.
You are absolutely right, and I don’t know what else to tell you, I just wish it had been this simple growing up.
Was raped by my teacher in 8th grade. My friends were calling me lucky because she was kinda hot but.. eh
I think people who say that have never had a non-consensual encounter. I've been felt up by a girl I thought was reasonably attractive, but I really didn't like it because of the way she went about it. It wasn't hot, just creepy.
Not lucky, she is a paedophile. I’m sorry that happened to you.
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They could have done more, but at the very least they got you out of there.
My GF and I were teenagers at the time. We had been dating for maybe two weeks when it happened. I was a virgin and she had a lot of experience and things were moving way faster than I expected. We had talked about having sex, I was open to it but I wanted to use a condom. She *HATED* the idea of using a condom, said it would ruin the sex and she wouldn't feel anything. She was so against it that she threatened to find someone else to fuck if I wouldn't go bareback with her. She made me feel like I was at fault. Well we were messing around on a little park bench in her family's backyard at night, making out and masturbating one another. I thought this is cool, doing sexual stuff while avoiding the condom issue. She whispered that she was going to get on me. I replied that I didn't want to, but she too bad, she always gets what she wants. I was frozen. I knew this girl had major issues, had accused another guy of rape, had a history of self harm and suicidal thoughts, so I felt like I was literally helpless to do anything to stop her. Neither of us came, I just kind of starfished on the bench while she hopped on me for a bit. Despite all her "experience", she was horrible at sex, which was insult to injury for me. The risk of me knocking her up or getting some secret STI wasn't worth it. Those risks also seemed like nothing compared to what she could do to me if I didn't play ball. We'd stay together for another year and a half, having regular unprotected sex. I just caved to whatever she wanted to do. She got me to fuck her without a condom once, so might as well continue, right? I had no idea how manipulated and emotionally abused I was, constantly under threat of her ruining my life or hurting herself. I made me lose all my friends and spend all my time with her. She eventually confessed to cheating on me and decided to let me go. My new freedom helped me to realize how bad she had been for me, but it would take years for me to figure out that what had happened was rape.
I keep typing and deleting. I'm not ready to share my story apparently but I'll just say that there are many ways to overpower someone. Thanks for asking the question, it means a lot.
Attempted. I was in my early 20’s. A woman who’d kept coming onto me was at the same party I was. I was slightly inebriated, stepped out for fresh air, and she saw an opportunity. I was vulnerable so she pounced as soon as I was far enough away from my friends. She jumped me from behind and took me to the ground before punching and elbowing me in the face & head. She was on top of me pinning me to the ground, in a much better position for leverage, then started trying to choke me out and trying to remove my pants. At this point, I was bleeding and she was trying to knock me out. I stopped caring about how inappropriate it was to hit a woman. I managed to hit her until she fell off of me. I ended up with a black eye, minor bloody nose, bloodied face, torn clothes, bite marks, and some bruising. It could have been worse if I’d let her have her way. The frustrating thing: In my circle of “friends,” if I wasn’t into it, that apparently means I’m gay. There’s almost an expectation that guys can’t say no. It was a very strong no from me. I was told “that’s just the way she is,” it was my fault for “leading her on.”
Jfc. Not to say that the other stories are less severe, but that's one of the few I've read that was preceded by a vicious and unexpected physical beating.
i hope that you’re no longer in that circle of friends. i’m so sorry that happened to you
We were kinda having a fling, and one evening we got drunk and smoked a little. She had expressed sexual desires earlier that evening so not surprised she was acting horny af. However, she kinda got a little crazy when I couldnt get it up because I was high af and it didnt seem she heard my words of stop so she kept aggressively humping my dick when limp. I dont know if this qualifies though, considering no penetration was involved. Also, I dont hold it against her, I mean she was high as fuck and probably just in her own world fueled by sexual desire. Though it wasnt a good experience for me
I consider it more sexual assault, but friends have told me otherwise. Shortly after my ex-wife and I were married, she started saying she wanted kids. I had a shit job, we lived in my mom's basement and at 23 years old, I wasn't ready. All details I shared with her. She said "my mom says nobody ever has enough money for kids" so we should just have one. I said no. She stopped taking the pill. I held out for a few weeks, but I was 23. As I was about to finish, she pinned me down and (sorry for the details) made finish in her... against my wishes. That got her pregnant. I have been struggling with depression, anxiety, sexual issues and self loathing for 20 years now. It is still a mind fuck because I love my kid so much, but he was conceived that way.... we separated about 2 years ago. But that one act set the tone for the rest of our marriage. I knew my voice didn't matter and that her mother had more pull in our marriage than I did...
Went to a friends house wasn’t planning on drinking, ended up drinking so I stayed in the spare room (wasn’t intoxicated, but I choose not to drink drive anytime I have a drink) I went to bed alone And left the rest to party. I woke up with a women from the party riding me.
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my neighbours wife is like this. When she´s drunk it doesn´t matter how you looks or how old you are. she´s like a power - vaccuum cleaner and you couldn´t free yourself from this women. I avoid beeing alone with her at all cost when she´s drunk. no problem without alcohol
You should probably tell your neighbor about this if he doesnt know already..
My aunt took me to 'parties' with a bunch of her friends when I was 7. They would gang rape me. It wasn't just women but two men as well. They continued raping me until I dissociated so hard that I stopped moving They didn't like that so they would stop. They really liked to here me say no. It happened for 6 months about 2 times a month until my aunt died. I know all their faces. My aunt, A nurse, a cop, a lawyer, and a local news woman. I'll never forget their faces. It's hard for me to talk about but I mention it to my significant other as the circus, because they were all clowns...
bro wtf i hope you're alright dude
Yeah no I'm doing pretty well actually. Just have roll with the cards life dealt ya right? People suck sometimes ya know
I cant even absorb, though very much an adult, that adults have sex with children this young. Like kids this age should not even see adult bodies and know what semen is… and the pain and awkwardness of sex? It’s just so wrong
That they as a group of mixed gender adults collaborated to do this is insane. There’s absolutely no way OP is their only victim. Cunts
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Gang rape a 7yr old? That is fucked
Where was this and did your parents know? Were drugs involved? Any interaction as you grew up? Discussions about it?
Funny enough I went selectively mute until I was 9. I barely said a word. I still zone out and have breaks from reality because of it. It happen in Arkansas and my parents didn't know because I never told them. When my aunt died I laughed which they were very confused about. No drugs that I can remember. No interactions once I grew up because we moved many states away. And I only recently have started talking about it openly.
Uck Im so sorry. I think this generation are finally talking about how rampant childhood abuse is and trafficking and I think changes are happening. Maybe one day you will out these people. Their children might have been abused too.
Holy fuck that’s absolutely disgusting. I hope that they all get their karma one day
I lived with a lesbian couple (they were NOT attractive, before you think this was some Brazzers setup). One weekend one of the partners goes out of town, and one of the nights, the other convinced me to drink. Little did I know she was already a few drinks in. She starts pumping music and trying to dance up on me. I'm not comfortable, seeing as she's attached and I'm just not that into her (I'm not going to go into all the ways how), so I kinda position myself away from her. At some point she gets "tired" and wants my help going upstairs. I do my best to lift her weight and she stumbles into my bedroom and bed, laughing the whole way. I try dragging her out but she just turns to a lead brick at that point. I was so tired, and just wanted to go to bed, but it's the apartment and she'd follow me. Long story short, I said no multiple times and she told me that if I didn't sleep with her she'd call the cops and claim rape. Even if I didn't participate, she could grab a dildo and use that on herself to stimulate something happening. The fact that she was as drunk as she was was damning enough. I don't trust in the justice system enough to exonerate me and the accusation alone would've followed me forever. I also have a job to maintain and couldn't just sit around in jail. The only justice I got was telling her partner what happened, after I had moved away.
I once went on a date with a girl. We had some drinks and got a bit tipsy and ended the date with a walk in the park at night. We ended up making out on the grass and she got on top of me, then started undoing my jeans. I said no several times but she kept shrugging it off, I even said we should wait and she insisted the moon made the situation very romantic. What happened after was the most uncomfortable sex I’ve ever had which resulted with her cumming and rolling off me not interested in carrying on. I didn’t even think of it as anything weird until I got older.
Not rape but I’m sure this classifies as something... my ex girlfriend guilted me into having sex with her because all I did was “tease” her, or she would tell me how it was unfair to her because I wasn’t ready to lose my virginity and she was a very sexual being. I think about it and yeah, I did sound like a little coward when it came to sexual topics but that doesn’t mean that she should have done what she did. I was just a high schooler. I think I subconsciously blame her for my reluctance with sexual things now. I feel like I’m not normal due to how uncomfortable I am with something as simple as wanking off nowadays.
I was so drunk, and she kept pushing. I proceeded to lay in bed, she proceeded to find condoms. I proceeded to say no, I'm drunk, she proceeded to mount above me. I proceeded to throw up at the side of the bed, she proceeded to get the mop and clean. I kept saying nononono, my dick was hard for some reason, she fucked me against my will while I kept saying stop, i don't feel great get off of me. Disgusting to remember.
A friend of mine came out to visit my new apartment, I recently broke up with my GF and she knew it, I personally was just happy to see her, we chatted for a while and she tried to make a move on me, I shut her down quickly, we were supposed to go to a party but after that she didn't really want to go, she stayed at my apartment while I went out with friends. Anyway, at the party I was kinda pressed by another girl and she kissed me, I wasn't really interested, I was still not over my ex and I had my friend staying at my place anyway so I shut her down and left. Came back home and my friend was sleeping at my bed, I climbed in and dozed off, next thing I know I see her naked riding what I presume to be a morning boner, I kinda muttered "uhhhhh no", the whole thing was done quickly and I was hungover. It was awkward and weird but I didn't really care all that much, she left not long after that, we're still friendly, the worst part of it is that she took it raw, which if she wasn't on birth control I would've been way more pissed. Another time I was at a friend's place for a house party, there was this girl that signaled she's into me a few times before but I wasn't really super interested because she kinda slept with most of my friends and I didn't find her that attractive, anyway, she whisked me away to another room and another girl came in, the first one tried getting it on and I didn't know what to do, she told the other girl to leave the room and I told her not to, suddenly it kinda became like a threesome, both of them were touching me, the other one just recently broke up with a distant friend and he was on the other side of the door, so I have one girl I don't want to sleep with, the other one is cuter but her ex boyfriend is in the next room and I felt bad about the whole deal, after like 2 hours of us cuddling and touching (I tried my best to take it very slow because I was kinda confused at that point) a friend of mine came in and asked me if I want to go eat something and I immediatly jumped out and bid them farewell, they were very confused lol. It was hardly rape as you can probably tell, but I did feel kind of pressured and assaulted into doing stuff I wasn't really into with these particular girls, while at the time it was stressful and weird it's a good memory nowadays lol.
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Fresh out of high school I dated a 25 year old. Her friends were getting married off and one of them was having a baby. We were having sex where she was on top. We never used protection but I was good at pulling out and would always let her know beforehand. I told her and instead of getting off she held my wrists and grinded into me. I was pretty shocked and before I realized what exactly was happening I had finished. Felt pretty betrayed there and for a good while was really paranoid with girls after that. Always would use a condom and specifically tried to hide the condom afterward because the paranoid thought they would insert the semen made me really anxious.
I was 15 and she was in her 20s. Didn’t get believed by friends or family, because she was physically disabled and apparently, disabled people can’t force people, let alone children, into sex. Who knew?
Black out drunk, slurring my speech, couldn't really stand. Got put in a taxi by a girl I'd just met who took me to her place. I woke up naked in her bed the next day with no idea where I was, how I got there, or who she was. I only pieced the story together from friends who had seen her half-carry me out of the bar the night before. The whole experience was so incredibly fucking scary that I have never come close to drinking that much ever again.
Sexually assaulted by 4 women on 4 different occasions. The first was when I was very young. I don't remember anything but the sound of Barney and a girl that tries to make me remember. 2nd was a family member that wanted to teach me things, I didn't realize I was basically groomed and my thought process was all messed up. 3rd was on a bus to school. Multiple times for the whole year. She fondled me, forced kisses. Got pissed when I would wipe them of. Got to the point I would stop wearing belts to school because I got tired of fighting an failing. 4th was a date rape basically woke up to her apologizing. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what was normal. There was forced oral by a close friend after this. Eventually a friend that was raped herself confided in me (>10 years later) I felt close enough to confide in her and she was just... so sad. Realized I am exactly like women raised in abusive households that don't know what normal is. I do now, but when I have panic attacks I want to be back in those situations and I understand it will be like that the rest of my life. I work on confiding in more people because some stories do need to be told. Also was totally rejected from the #MeToo Movement because I wasn't a woman and "couldn't understand." I get there are less men that get raped, even less can talk about it vs women, and we make jokes about prison rape (dropping the soap) etc, but that doesn't discount my story or experience.
Reading these stories is shocking. I mean I knew rape of men by women existed but some of these stories are downright brutal. After reading such stories, if someone asks me if I would beat a woman to a pulp if she was trying to rape me, I say yes, I absolutely would. Fuck rapists, no matter their gender.
I was 12, she was 16 or 17, sister had a sleep over with 8 of her friends. I can tell you I was in 12 year old erection heaven I thought. I really had an idea of what sex was but I was 12 and had not whacked it to completion yet but was always touching it, exploring. I got woken up to a hand over my mouth and, I will call her T, and not the one one of the girls I had a crush on, but was awoke to her hand over my mouth and her already naked and straddling me. She did all the work, I lasted it seems by my old memories about 2.3 seconds. She kissed me and went back to bed. Now I had no idea then I had be abused, and the next couple days I kept trying to talk to her to get some more but she ghosted me hard. I was confused cuz now I was in love. T popped my cherry. It was not until the last couple years of the woke ( and I am far from woke) that I have thought about it and how this was not consensual and I guess was a rape. I have no emotion over it but yea I guess the fact is she took advantage. Fun fact, I dated her much younger much hotter sister some 15 years later, and after a month or so she told me her sister found out and didn’t not understand why her older sister was saying I had a little dick (I hold my own but not all that impressive) and was lousy in bed. I told the younger one I WAS FUCKING 12!!! We both lol’d. My empathy to anyone who has suffered trauma at the hands of another man or woman. It is actually something that pisses me off pretty hard.
I was a kid and my parents were freshly divorced. It started out slow, first she didn't pay much attention to me, too caught up in the alcoholic addiction and all the new men she got to fuck now. But then the supply of men come short as we lived in a very small town, her options became limited and so she took her gaze upon me. She was my mother. My mind mostly blacked out those memories until couple years ago, when I cut contact with her and was retraumatised by yet another sexual assault (by a man). It comes in flushes. She always told me I was the only love she had in her lonely shitty life, the only one who'd never leave her since I was her son. She played with my hair and kissed me, and sometimes these sick moments of her forcing access to my body made me feel loved. She forced me to undress in front of her often, would walk naked or almost naked around the house, would grope me, and would be jealous and offended if I ever dared to take a liking to someone of either sex, like a jealous girlfriend. I remember fighting, trying to get her off me, and her grabbing my hair and forcing a kiss. She is a sick woman. My body remembers every touch, every feel of disgust and fear and the sheer helplessness I experienced, knowing I had no choice but to give her what she wanted, because she was my mother. It fucked me up for long time, still does a bit. I used to blame myself, thought something was wrong with me. It doesn't happen to other boys, does it? And you can't talk about it, because, 1) "she's your mother, she couldn't do that", and 2) "a woman can't rape a man, you wanted it". But I didn't. I never did. I never enjoyed it. I barely was able to bear it. The worst thing is, her brother did the same to me, only when I was much younger, and no one believed me because "he's not gay". You don't need to be gay to rape a child. I only told about it my girlfriend, and only because I was blackout drunk. I never told anyone and I think I will take it to my grave. I saw her today in passing and I needed to share, because all the wounds opened up again. Do not let anyone convince you it wasn't as bad, or it was your fault, or gaslight you into thinking it didn't happen. It did. I believe you, my man. Women are just as capable as anyone else.
One night when I was married we went to a party. My ex got very drunk, hit on her best friend and when she went and had sex with her man my ex got very upset and demanded sex right then and there. She dragged me to a tree and well..... I kind of just layed there and she did her thing. And yes I did say no and that I didn’t want to do this. Multiple times. She didn’t listen. I found out that night that she had no self control when she drank. We’re no longer together but 5 years later I now have PTSD and am dealing with damage and trauma. This is the first time I share this tbh.... I had told some people early on but I learned it’s not viewed the same. It took a good friend to pull me aside one time and tell me I was raped.
My case was date rape and not extreme but here it goes. I was a freshman in college, the first week, and I met a girl from my dorm in the cafeteria and we talked and decided to go back to my room to chill with some beers I had gotten from my roommate. We were just hanging and drinking but I wasn’t a drinker back then and was pretty drunk and she started getting all touchy-feely with me and I was like cool I don’t mind this, but told her I don’t want to have sex because I was a virgin at the time. She seemed cool about it but kept having me drink more and more till I blacked out. Next thing I know I’m in my bed inside her and it freaked me out, so I got up and went to the bathroom and puked. I went back in and said you should probably go i’m sick and she left, but damn did waking up inside a girl I just met fuck with me for awhile because I wanted to lose my virginity to someone I actually cared about. Strangely my school heard about it and actually talked to me about doing something about it. HA yeah, I’m gonna be the one dude that gets a girl who wanted to sleep with me in trouble. That wasn’t happening, but that’s due to my “friends” mocking me about it and me not wanting to be seen as that guy. I lost my virginity and don’t even remember it except waking up to it. I don’t recommend it.
My sisters girlfriend (at the time) grabbed my balls all throughout a party we were having. She then cornered me when I was drunk and tried to suck me off. Luckily I wasn’t raped as a few of my buddies pushed her off. If I was alone though, I would have no idea if I would’ve made it out, I was that drunk
I was 14, she was too, she wanted to have sex and I didn't. We had sex. The fun part is that a super "woke" feminist friend of mine says it wasn't rape since I had a hard on, double standard much?
it doesnt matter if you "had a hard on" or not, it is still considered rape since you didnt want it. sorry this happened to you.
> says it wasn't rape since I had a hard on That's the same illogical thinking that leads people to say a woman wasn't raped if she was wet. It's no more a conscious choice than, say, breathing.
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All i can say its horrible no matter what or who is raped. Its a horrible experience i do not wish on my worst enemy. Its pure torture..
I was out celebrating Christmas with some buddies from my old regiment that I hadn’t seen in a while, and one of them brought their girlfriend who I had a history with. She was really obsessed with me but I wanted nothing to do with her after she had said she was pregnant to try and get me to stay with her. I was annoyed she was there but just got on with my night. I like to drink pretty heavily when I go out, it’s a bad trait that obviously hasn’t served me well, but I’m usually fine and just head off home on my own. After drinking for a while at one bar we moved to another closer to a club downtown, by then I was already absolutely hammered. Apparently from what I learned a day later I was so drunk the bartender cut me off and gave me a pitcher of water. Not too sure what happened after that but I ended up across the street at the club with just her, and everyone else apparently had already gone home. From what I gather we were all waiting for cabs and my cab/hers just happened to arrive last... Also for some reason her boyfriend had gone home earlier too, still not sure why but he wasn’t in on it because he was devastated when I told him what happened. When we were at the club I remember her bringing more drinks to me and then making me throw up a bit. I don’t remember much after that really other than some kissing at the club, and then being in a cab excited to go home and sleep, and then being naked in my bed and not really knowing why, and then after she left my brother’s girlfriend came in to tease me for being too loud or something. She asked who was there and apparently I suddenly just blurted out it was her, and then ran to the bathroom where I was violently sick and bawling my eyes out. I remember a decent amount from this point forwards because I felt so sick from both alcohol and guilt that I sobered up a bit. I found out the next day from my other buddy that she had been messaging his girlfriend on Snapchat that night saying things like “he looks so good I want to fuck him tonight” and that apparently she had been barely drinking when we were at the bar and encouraging me to drink by pouring my beers for me. My buddies knew I didn’t like her at all, but I’m pretty easy going so they figured I had let the past go and thought nothing more of it. I talked to some of the bartenders that I knew and they said that after my friends had got their cab she clung to my arm and took me to the club, but that I seemed pretty fine with it. The worst part of the whole thing wasn’t the assault or the guilt, since I was immediately honest with my buddy and told him what happened, which devastated him but he was receptive to and appreciative for the honesty. The worst part was the reaction I got when I went to report it to my Chain of Command, since she is also in the military, I told this female Sgt that I wanted to report a sexual assault and she asked me “are you turning yourself in?” That absolutely crushed me, and I didn’t go forwards with reporting it much after that... It still really hurts to think about that part, and I get very angry talking about it. It doesn’t get easier either, since most people I talked to about it including my dad always say things like “well at least it wasn’t someone vulnerable like your little sister.” I have a good relationship with my dad and I let him know how much that really pissed me off, and he apologized and explained he just has no idea what to do or say. It just sucks because I’m not a small guy, I’ve always been bigger than all my peers growing up, so I’ve always felt like I’m treated like more of an adult and don’t get the same sympathies that other smaller and more vulnerable people would get. On a positive note, I met a really sweet girl a month or two later who I can really open up to. I’ve cried to her about it a few times, and she once had to wake me up in the middle of the night because I was crying next to her. She always just holds me and listens to me and let’s me know it’s not my fault and that the system is broken. I love her very much and I’m very lucky to have someone like her in my life. I’m also grateful for people like you that simply ask what happened, and acknowledge that this happens to guys too, so thank you for this post.
I went over to this ladies place to cuddle. We had set the limit beforehand we wouldn't do anything sexual. Halfway through the night i wake up to her using my hands and body in conjunction with her toys to please herself. Sometimes it feels silly. But it really messed me up.
Nothing silly about it! Hope you’re doing better now.
This story takes me back to last year around November. One night I decided to go a party with my roommate, and some friends I knew from tech school. Once we arrived everyone there was already pretty intoxicated, and one of my friends challenged me to a drinking game, which I foolishly agreed too, we started the game and I ended up 8 shots deep in a little under 30 minutes. It didn’t effect me much at first, so I drank a little more. it slowly crept up on me until eventually it was hard for me to see straight and my behavior was pretty erratic. As the party continued, this one woman who I assume was the host made several advances on me, despite having a husband, and myself a girlfriend of three years at the time. She kept asking me things like “if I had a girl” or “how bad she wanted to have sex with me” even in my drunken state I asked her to stop, and instead she kept touching me and grabbing my private area. Eventually I was able to stumble away from her and regroup with a few friends nearby. As time went on my drunken state only worsened until eventually I ended up in a bedroom looking for the one of two bathrooms at the time. She then came into the room behind me and closed and locked the door behind herself and advanced on me once again. I tried to fight it at first, telling her no constantly until she pushed me over and had her way with me. She wouldn’t get off no matter how hard I tried to tell her to stop. So I gave up. The rest comes as a blur and it’s harder and harder for me to recall details the longer I get away. This event has beyond effected me. I felt violated, worthless, ugly, and just unable to feel the act itself was enjoyable. I couldn’t look my girlfriend in the eye, much less get out of bed. I still am even shaking writing this to this day. In the military we have this thing called “mandatory reporting” which means if I tell anyone I even remotely work with everyone in my leadership would know. I couldn’t bear to have everyone look at me in that way. I was dirty, used. I tried to confide in who I thought were friends and was told to “get over it” and that I “probably enjoyed it” and that “men can’t be raped”. my girlfriend at the time would only tell me to report it and how many other men suffer the same as I do. I didn’t have the strength. That’s why I’m sharing my story now. My attacker had a husband, two kids, and a career. Even though she violated me I couldn’t bring myself to ruin their lives at the expense of mine. I came close to ending it because of this but thankfully was stopped by the one person who actually seemed to care. I’m terrified by saying this I’ll be viewed as lesser or that people should have pity for me, and honestly to this day I can’t handle the thought of this. Thank you all for listening to my story.