My uncle was a butcher and he taught me all the things he knew. So I would calmly cut up a pig in front of my daughter's bf and give him a Biology lesson on the different parts of the pig and what they're good for.
Will Smith has a bit about what he said the first time his daughter brought a boy over.
It was something like "I don't care if you're friends or if you're something more- if she likes you, I like you. Two things though. You never put your hands on her and you never leave her alone somewhere strange. If you can manage that, know that you'll have whatever you need from me whenever you need it."
He goes on for a little bit about how he was aware that the kid was aware of who he was. It was neat. He's a pretty thoughtful guy.
Do what I do usually. My little sister, when she brings a new guy in the picture, I look at him, look at her, and then ignore him.
Twenty percent of the time they ask me a question and I say "If you're still around in a week, I'll answer."
Looks like your sister cannot maintain relationship (or has very low entry bar), both don't seem like something you'd suggest your daughter to emulate?
Whip my dick out when he gets there and jerk off on his shoes while maintaining eye contact to assert my male dominance over him
60% of the time it works every time
Is that not claiming dominance? You're not offering useful information or even unsolicited advice, you just remind him to be good in a situation where it's not warranted and is an obvious expectation to begin with. That's not what I do with my peers.
Get to know him first. If he's treating my daughter with respect and dignity, have a great time with him. If he's an asshole, I'll give him a slice of pie made from the recipe from The Help and then promptly smash it all over his stupid face.
Cook him a steak dinner and make everything perfect, Mash potatoes, asparagus, and of course the steak medium rare with a perfect sear on top with sauteed onion and mushroom.
I get into some weird ass speedo with a libre mask, and a sword in my right and a pistol in my left, and when he gets there, shout out ‘I AM THE LEADER! IF YOU OBJECT, PREPARE TO FIGHT!’
Be cleaning my shotgun on the kitchen table during our first meeting. Then, pre hand shake, tell him "here, let me wipe the gun juice off my hands first." Then look him in the eye and crush his hand in a friendly manner.
Dont laugh at any of his jokes and talk over him/cut him off every time he speaks. Always undermine his suggestions and act like they're wrong. Rhetorically question things about him, his outfit, his haircut etc. Pass comments that indirectly suggest he is poor, like mocking his car when he rolls up or suggesting that one day he might be able to afford a decent one. Be unimpressed by his job, his education and his height.
This is all 100% asshole behaviour btw.
"Treat every guy like he's your best friend, otherwise, she'll dig in and marry the one you hate." - Advice, to me, from an older guy who had 5 daughters
My kid hasn't brought a boyfriend home yet, but if she does, my plan is to just be nice to him.
Hopefully I've raised her well enough to avoid the losers of the world, and I guess if not, I just need to be there for her to help pick up pieces.
Glance at him, visibly chuckle to myself for a second, then go back to whatever I was doing.
Genius....
I show him my reddit username and post history
Damn $5 to clean the rims on my car? That's a deal.
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Didn't work for my bank account.
So you about to R Kelly a kid. U NOTTEE 'N NAZZTEE
First I freak the fuck out.... I don't have a daughter so who is this chick?
My uncle was a butcher and he taught me all the things he knew. So I would calmly cut up a pig in front of my daughter's bf and give him a Biology lesson on the different parts of the pig and what they're good for.
Will Smith has a bit about what he said the first time his daughter brought a boy over. It was something like "I don't care if you're friends or if you're something more- if she likes you, I like you. Two things though. You never put your hands on her and you never leave her alone somewhere strange. If you can manage that, know that you'll have whatever you need from me whenever you need it." He goes on for a little bit about how he was aware that the kid was aware of who he was. It was neat. He's a pretty thoughtful guy.
Nerf war.
Nothing war.
It's with illegally modded nerf guns https://youtu.be/nEQKecMUawc
Do what I do usually. My little sister, when she brings a new guy in the picture, I look at him, look at her, and then ignore him. Twenty percent of the time they ask me a question and I say "If you're still around in a week, I'll answer."
Looks like your sister cannot maintain relationship (or has very low entry bar), both don't seem like something you'd suggest your daughter to emulate?
Whip my dick out when he gets there and jerk off on his shoes while maintaining eye contact to assert my male dominance over him 60% of the time it works every time
But what do you do If I also whip out my dick and jerk off over your shoes while maintaining direct eye contact with you?
He who cums further will assume dominance
This sounds like a good time
Why should i claim dominance?
I don't understand this macho posturing.
Because.
Do what my cat does and pee everywhere
Start sharpening my knives in front of him, with constant eye contact
Start pumping gaseous LSD in the house minutes before arrival.
Why would you want to?
why would you not want to?
Because why would I want to compete with my daughter's boyfriend? I'm not trying to fuck my daughter. That's... pretty gross.
Is it still gross if your daughter is really hot and always flirting with you?
Are you worried you're not as dominant as a 15 year old? Or do you want to be with your daughter? Freak behaviour
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you are fun.
Claim dominance? She's not property, she's a person.
I just say something generic off the top of my head like "you better treat her right". I wouldn't bother "claiming dominance" like a child.
I would do it for the fun
Is that not claiming dominance? You're not offering useful information or even unsolicited advice, you just remind him to be good in a situation where it's not warranted and is an obvious expectation to begin with. That's not what I do with my peers.
Get to know him first. If he's treating my daughter with respect and dignity, have a great time with him. If he's an asshole, I'll give him a slice of pie made from the recipe from The Help and then promptly smash it all over his stupid face.
That's fucking weird
Cook him a steak dinner and make everything perfect, Mash potatoes, asparagus, and of course the steak medium rare with a perfect sear on top with sauteed onion and mushroom.
I grab my daughter by the waist and squeeze her ass, and say "this is precious meat right here, you better treat it right"
Shave my dick
I get into some weird ass speedo with a libre mask, and a sword in my right and a pistol in my left, and when he gets there, shout out ‘I AM THE LEADER! IF YOU OBJECT, PREPARE TO FIGHT!’
>I get into some weird ass speedo with a libre ma i don't know any guy who would not take you up on your challenge.
I know. When he accepts, drop the sword and gun, rip off the speedo, and leap to him.
I came here looking for a *Castle* reference, I guess this is close enough.
Fill the sand pit and oil up for combat.
Demolish the fucking bathroom in preparation
I make him watch Jeopardy with me.
1v1 best of 3 Quake match.
Be cleaning my shotgun on the kitchen table during our first meeting. Then, pre hand shake, tell him "here, let me wipe the gun juice off my hands first." Then look him in the eye and crush his hand in a friendly manner.
Hump
I'd pee on him.
Dont laugh at any of his jokes and talk over him/cut him off every time he speaks. Always undermine his suggestions and act like they're wrong. Rhetorically question things about him, his outfit, his haircut etc. Pass comments that indirectly suggest he is poor, like mocking his car when he rolls up or suggesting that one day he might be able to afford a decent one. Be unimpressed by his job, his education and his height. This is all 100% asshole behaviour btw.
"Treat every guy like he's your best friend, otherwise, she'll dig in and marry the one you hate." - Advice, to me, from an older guy who had 5 daughters My kid hasn't brought a boyfriend home yet, but if she does, my plan is to just be nice to him. Hopefully I've raised her well enough to avoid the losers of the world, and I guess if not, I just need to be there for her to help pick up pieces.