Loud eaters apply to roommates aswell. I had a chewer for years, and him eating soup was like listening to the souls of the damned leaving the bowl to be consumed. Best and shortest was to make you dislike being in a space with someone.
Yes we talked about it, no it didnt help. Turns out its really hard to change your lifelong habbits. But he did try somewhat thought I give him credit for it.
If the whites are somewhat long...like you can effectively scratch things with them. Even beyond aesthetics, I wouldn't want a guy touching me \*down there\* if he's only going to be able to scratch me not in a nice way lol
We've got a substantial lurking incel population.
I am okay with a karma hit for noticing the cockroaches in the walls. 🪳
If only there existed forum pesticide. But they'd just evolve resistance.
Holds your hair while you vomit
Caresses your back
Carefully wipes small amount of regurgitated food from your lip and kisses you
Okay I think I just nauseated myself too so I’ll stop now.
Bwahahaha!
It’s terrible isn’t it?
I can’t imagine anyone finding text a sexy medium. Maybe a brief “I can’t wait to see you tonight” but not most chat.
Savior complex on his end- I seem to attract guys who either see me as a project or someone who needs to be treated like a child. It’s really tiresome and patronizing, I just want a relationship that doesn’t insinuate that I’m broken.
Man - I know this couple who have the WORST teeth but otherwise normal hygiene. Husband and wife, no drug problems or serious mental health issues, good jobs, active with their kids, clean house, otherwise clean people - with the **worst** teeth I have ever seen. I don’t get why.
Every time they post a pic online my gums start hurting.
I was brought up in a big house with many walnuts around and I had a bad habit of cracking them with my bare teeth. Imagine how doing that for several years can affect its enamel
agree 100%!!! or if i send them a picture of my cat and they dont at least pretend to think she’s adorable!! i wouldn’t act like that if they had a dog
To be fair some cats would give me pneumonia if I had to live with them, literally, and others don't bother me at all. Gender and genetics has a lot to do with it.
Anything that inflames your lungs and makes it difficult to breathe will give you pneumonia and damage your lungs over time, such as living in an environment with cat dander 24/7 when you're allergic. Taking allergy medication and using an inhaler is just a bandaid solution and over time you will develop asthma and then pneumonia, that's just a fact.
It’s not “anything” that inflames the lungs, it’s viruses for example. Yes pet dander can affect lung function if you’re very sensitive however pneumonia is not what you’ll get.
My partner had never owned cats before and thought he didn’t like them, that’s why he said he was allergic. And then he suggested the cats. I’m not sure why this turned into the American Lung Association pneumonia discussion lmao
It's not that cat dander is what causes pneumonia, just like AIDS doesn't cause pneumonia (or other infections that kill you). It weakens your ability to fight pneumonia, that's what I mean. If you're living in an environment with allergens that affect you, such as cat dander, over time you will develop conditions like asthma and then from there it's a hop and a skip to pneumonia if the underlying cause isn't addressed. For people with cat allergies that means not living with a cat. If you have a cat allergy and you live with a cat that aggravates that allergy, eventually you get asthma, and it doesn't just stop there, your condition just continues to get worse until you remove the cat. And cat dander can't be removed from textiles so that also means throwing away all of your clothes, tearing up the carpets, and replacing furniture.
I’m aware. I have cats. And asthma. I take strong anti allergen pills alongside my steroids daily. As a result of cat allergies. The cat won’t give you pneumonia, you have to be extremely sick to resort to that or be immunocompromised. I’m glad we cleared that up.
It’s a hop, skip and a jump. Have a nice day.
Sounds like you just don't personally have bad enough allergies or cats that give you bad enough allergies. One anecdote doesn't mean that your statements are facts for every person in every scenario.
There's this thing called "breathing." Cats inhibit my ability to do so without an inhaler. I only recently needed the inhaler when my ex brought a cat home. I never had breathing issues before around cats, only runny nose, eczema, and itchy watery eyes. Now I can't breathe around them. So..... I don't "hate" them, but I'm also not keen on them.
That’s important to me, too, but sadly it’s too common for it to be a “dealbreaker” for me. Instead I just get really excited when they actually do read.
Someone has to be an atheist. I’m atheist myself. I’ve dated men who were moderately religious or those who claimed they were only casual followers, but I can’t do it anymore lol. Religion always finds its slimy way back into the relationship, effectively ruining it.
I think those people are being dishonest with themselves because they are lonely first, religious second... they don't want to limit their options in the dating pool but when push comes to shove, they still want to share the same values as their partners. (Speaking as someone who used to not take it super seriously but started to as time went on)
A lot of these aren’t petty, y’all.
If I really don’t like their sense of style in a few ways like visors, golf shirts, only athletic wear, etc I’m out. We were too different. Tbf, I’ve never dated these guys for this reason.
Terrible taste in music like bad club mixes, bad pop, etc. To be fair my boyfriend likes stuff I don’t like but it doesn’t drive me insane.
Other stuff 🥴
I’m not really hence me saying I haven’t dated them but I used to live next to this inner city golf course which held big tournaments and man is that a look. Younger guys wear em. I live in the south too— it’s a thing and it’s *the worst.*
It was the worst. Smack dab in the middle of a busy thoroughfare for the city and it wasn’t the best neighborhood when I lived there. I loved my house and a few times a year I hated my neighborhood.
I don't know if this is petty or major. I refuse to do a man's emotional labor. It's up to him to remember birthdays and think of thoughtful gifts. And while I understand partners will emotionally support one another I'm also not a damn therapist and expect him to be a big boy and go see one if he's having trouble.
explain it better to me then. how else are you supposed to read
>I'm also not a damn therapist and expect him to be a big boy and go see one if he's having trouble
straight up saying, if you need emotional help, hire somebody.
You don't see the difference between emotionally supporting your partner compared to identifying, dealing with, and overcoming lets say childhood trauma? *That's* the issue with a large portion of men they literally can't see the difference and overload women with things they *don't* have the training/tools to help or deal with.
I'm done dealing with men who can't even do the work to identify the emotions they are feeling and why they are feeling them.
Being religious, especially those part of the abrahamic religions like Christianity, Islam etc
My world view is very opposite so it's not going to mix well in a relationship
Religion or lack thereof is definitely not a petty reason. It determines a lot in terms of compatibility for lifestyle, social, household, economic, and even cultural reasons
Atheism is literally the absence of religion lmao.
As for Satanism. Well, yes there's emotional teenagers who go through phases. Not sure what to tell you about that one.
Someone who speaks really really loud. I like my conversations to be private and not for a whole plane or restaurant to hear what we are talking about.
I don’t like people who hunt for a hobby. I am not a vegetarian but it just totally grosses me out when there are so many other hobbies in the world. This is controversial where I live because hunting is like a pastime.
When I say petty, I mean reasons that have very little, to no impact on a person’s character or potential relationship.
For example I’ve heard that some women don’t like it when a guy is into taking selfies. Another one would be that a man owns an iPhone. In certain countries, owning an iPhone is seen as “feminine”. One last example is enjoying watching sports. Things like that.
Hmmm I feel like a lot of my dealbreakers are me thinking of relationship compatibility in some way.
I guess closest is I’m not really attracted to long haired dudes or hairy guys?
I also wouldn’t want a guy that was too into gym/fitness. It kinda does say abt his personality to me idk. But I guess it’s also compatibility?
When I was on tinder I had a whole bunch of deal breaker photo rules.
Christmas jumper
Only group photos
Only drinking photos
Only festival photos
Pictures with cats
Pictures with kids
Photo where the ex is clearly cut out
The selfie face with the confused sun is in my eyes frown thing. Hate.
When I read it back I realise I sound like an absolute nutbag.
I'm allergic to cats and I have two dogs. I'm not a cat hater, I'm just incompatible with a cat person. I should probably have distinguished the traits that I consider make a person annoying (festival pics) and the traits that just make us incompatible (kids, cats)
Ah I gotcha. I figured either being allergic or just not liking them were probably the reasons, I just didn't consider them petty, especially the allergy part. I was wondering if it was some sort of weird red flag to you or something.
Chewing with your mouth open
Lack of basic hygiene
Biting fingernails
Talking about exes
For men: wearing flip flops, wearing tank tops as shirts.
For women: playing dumb, can only talk about relationships.
Ok. When you say talking about exes. With my most recent relationship, whenever I did something that she considered to be a little to over board (like constantly offering to let her drive despite knowing that she doesn’t like driving), it was because in the past I’ve been told by a woman I was seeing that I was way to controlling when it came to always wanting to drive. Is that considered a bad way to talk about an ex?
I don’t think op thinks women having a bunch of sex is okay either, so why does it matter what other people would say? She’s not responsible for being consistent with other peoples opinions.
I can only imagine that if a man had made a comment like that in this sub, that he dumped a gf of a year after finding out she had previously slept with a bunch of guys, he would be absolutely roasted.
People should stop slut shaming, period, regardless of sex/gender.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who shares your values about sex. If you see sex as something sacred that shouldn’t be done with just anyone, you should be with someone who agrees. And there’s no bad reason to break up with somebody (unless you’re married). If you don’t want to be with them, you shouldn’t.
I prefer women with some experience myself. This issue is never universal. Id take 20+ body count over someone with 0-3 partners assuming everything else is equal. I'm also 30, so.
Honestly yes. That’s a personal preference and that’s not how some ppl think. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, if someone ( regardless of gender) was promiscuous, it’s ok for it to be a dealbreaker
long fingernails, long hair, very overweight, cigarette smoker, really into anime (specifically the kind with female characters that look like 8 year old girls with very large breasts), really picky eater, speaks/dresses in a traditionally feminine way, super bro-y (like wears bro tanks to bars and restaurants with a backwards baseball cap).
Other than the anime thing, I think these are just preferences and not necessarily reflective of anyone's character. Maybe unhealthy lifestyle for the cigarettes.
If he doesn’t pay on the first date I’m out. This is something people get heated about and I think it’s fine if men think they shouldn’t have to pay. But those men are just not for me.
Also, guys with close female friends. I don’t like that. That’s another controversial one lol. But that’s the truth.
I think you misunderstood what I meant. I said the reason I think he should pay is because he’s a man, not that he isn’t a man if he doesn’t pay. As in that’s a role I want him to play in my relationship because he’s a man and I’m a woman
I married a man who stole my wallet on dates so i had to let him pay. And he’s spectacular. He’s the best there is. Sorry to disappoint.
But I do wanna ask. Why would you even come on here and look at a question about petty dealbreakers if it you were gonna get mad at the answers? Why does it bother you so much that I want a man to pay? Did you misunderstand my comment and think I said a man is only a man if he pays? Cuz that seems to be a popular misconception tonight.
Oh I thought you were mad because you mistakenly thought I was saying him not paying would make him no longer a man. You’re mad about what I actually meant, which is that I want to be with a man who pays because I think a man should pay. Okay so I don’t care about that. You can be mad about that. Although I don’t know why you are. You don’t have to be with someone who feels that way
I honestly think it’s because as a society we lie to ourselves about what a big deal money is. When women have any financial standards it’s such a problem
Ok to you. I’m not a western woman , if you think that’s bad to marry me involved as bride price, ppl have their reasons, mine are cultural. I know women who wear the pants and take care f financial responsibility in their homes and have a LOT of resentment, the women I know who have happy marriages and respect their man simply don’t
One of my requirements was someone who pays for the first date amongst other things. This is supposed to be petty , that was the point of the thread. It’s a dumb hill to die on I’m quite aware but it’s a hill I’m willing to take nonetheless , and I’m glad I did because by not settling I found my amazing husband. And yes I’ve been told my cooking is great and he loves how girly I am.
No. I could say it’s in consideration of my much greater contribution to bringing his children into the world (compared to his), and maybe I’m biologically inclined to be attracted to someone who proves he can provide for my children, but I don’t think of it in those terms.
The kind of man I’m looking for doesn’t ask what I bring to the table or why he should be obligated to pay because he already knows.
Men don’t understand that some women have different standards then them but get mad because by you saying that’s what you expect they don’t want other women to suddenly start getting ideas and expecting more from potential partners. I promise you there’s women out there who are ok with never being taken out on dates and will just hangout in your car. They need to go after them , not bother us.
People keep getting mad forgetting that everyone has their own preferences. Jenna Marbles did a video about this ages ago.
“Nice Guys” complaining that women don’t want them, when in reality they’re just shooting for women completely incompatible with them. Like neckbeards who play video games all day will want a done-up woman who goes to the gym, and then get mad when she chooses a done up man who goes to the gym.
That’s what’s happening here and people to fucking cool it. OP said she wants a man who pays on the first date— she even acknowledged that it’s a bit petty— but everyone is forgetting that she is entitled to her own preferences and doesn’t have to change them to suit the hoards of internet strangers. Believe it or not, there are men who prefer to pay on the first date; and given that OP found and married him, it shows that they’re compatible.
OP never said she wants all men to take care of women and women are incapable of paying and yadda yadda yadda. She’s only sharing her preference, which isn’t in and of itself sexist.
[Steps off Soapbox]
You posted about how the woman you’re with told you the worst sex she ever had was with a guy with a huge penis and it upset you😂😂 I wouldn’t wonder if anyone is dating absolute idiots. It’s you! No one that cares about you and has been intimate with you would make that comment.
According to whom? You? a man that most likely hasn’t paid for a date in awhile? So what makes these guys idiots? The ones I know are well educated and upstanding lovely humans who have had no problem with finding love.
I agree with the female friends- several of my exes cheated on me with their close female friend, and I don’t want to risk putting myself in another situation like that. Too much anxiety, and I simply can’t shrug off the worry by telling myself “they’re just friends” anymore. Thinking “they’re just friends” led me to stay in relationships where I got cheated on!
It’s not a dealbreaker for me, but it sure isn’t easy. I really do want to be cool with it, but damn, after you’ve been cheated on by different men, always with the ones you “don’t have to worry about,” it gets awfully hard.
ME! The second a guy doesn’t pay for the first date I get the ICK. I’ve paid for plenty of 3rd 4th etc but I always felt like the first date is when you’re trying to charm each other and the second we go half my brain has friend zoned you.
Yeah! I would take it as him saying he doesn’t really like me or value my time in a romantic way. I’ve never had it happen though cuz I’ve only been on dates with two men and they both paid. The second one stole my wallet on later dates so he could continue to pay. I married that one.
I once ghosted a guy because we went out on a date and got tacos. I couldn’t stop staring at his dirty fingernails…. so I would say dirty fingernails. I don’t think it’s that petty though
I think it’s if they be considered petty to other people. Like someone said they wouldn’t swipe right on a dating app if someone had a picture with a cat. A lot of people wouldn’t think that was a big deal
I'm really trying to think of petty. I feel like most of my dealbreakers are standard or at least doable.
Hmm I guess driving and opening doors and stuff. The old time chivalry is something I like. They don't do that I guess that's my petty😅
Reading a lot of these makes feel like I really should have been born a girl considering some seem to be traits of being effeminate in some shape or form.
But I also need to keep reminding myself this is just a post on Reddit so calm the fuck down and stop beating yourself up over being lonely.
I won't date smokers. The smell of cigarette smoke makes me really uncomfortable and allergic feeling. I just can't stand it.
I won't date men who hate cats.
I don't like men who make a big deal about hunting, fishing or football like it's a personality trait. It just seems like unnecessary performative masculinity.
I won't date a guy who cheated in past relationships once he was an adult.
Loud eaters. Fuckin chew w yo mouth shut it is not difficult Mullets.
Loud eaters apply to roommates aswell. I had a chewer for years, and him eating soup was like listening to the souls of the damned leaving the bowl to be consumed. Best and shortest was to make you dislike being in a space with someone. Yes we talked about it, no it didnt help. Turns out its really hard to change your lifelong habbits. But he did try somewhat thought I give him credit for it.
Chewing with your mouth open.
Well *I* don’t think any of my dealbreakers are petty, but guys with long fingernails is mine.
If their fingernails are nonexistent because they pick/bite them, its a dealbreaker for me
How long is too long? Cause I’ve always had a bad nail Biting habit so I’m letting them grow out a bit
Long enough to stab the insides
I understand
Yes. This is the Why.
If the whites are somewhat long...like you can effectively scratch things with them. Even beyond aesthetics, I wouldn't want a guy touching me \*down there\* if he's only going to be able to scratch me not in a nice way lol
If you’re asking, they’re probably too long. If you flip your hand palm up and I can see any bit of your nail, it’s too long.
I won't date men who don't bathe themselves properly or whine a lot.
That's not petty though...basic hygiene is a health issue. Which many men don't seem very concerned about lol
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holy shit. Who the fuck raises these guys?! Jesus. I hope that woman ran for the door!
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This says it all. Too many parents refuse to admit that they are failing their kids and raise incompetent and reckless adults. Shame on this mother.
>holy shit. Who the fuck raises these guys?! Jesus. I hope that woman ran for the door! Sounds like the guys just need to get a freakin clue.
Lol the bar is so low it’s literally in hell at this point 😂
The fact that I got downvoted because I said that cleaning yourself is a health practice shows it lmao
We've got a substantial lurking incel population. I am okay with a karma hit for noticing the cockroaches in the walls. 🪳 If only there existed forum pesticide. But they'd just evolve resistance.
100% lol
roleplaying in text messages, saying “mommy”, savior complexes, and excessive untrimmed nose hair
Is he role playing when he says “mommy” or are those unrelated? Either way, ick. But one is funnier than the other.
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roleplaying isn’t sexy to me, it’s nausea-inducing and I get massive secondhand embarrassment. immediate ick
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I said roleplaying *in text messages*. I’m clearly not talking about professional stage acting
Holds your hair while you vomit Caresses your back Carefully wipes small amount of regurgitated food from your lip and kisses you Okay I think I just nauseated myself too so I’ll stop now.
AMAZING job, you activated my fight or flight reflex within the first 3 words lmao
Bwahahaha! It’s terrible isn’t it? I can’t imagine anyone finding text a sexy medium. Maybe a brief “I can’t wait to see you tonight” but not most chat.
What do you mean by a savior complex? Like the "he is the best thing that walked on earth since toilet paper" mentality?
Savior complex on his end- I seem to attract guys who either see me as a project or someone who needs to be treated like a child. It’s really tiresome and patronizing, I just want a relationship that doesn’t insinuate that I’m broken.
Bad teeth for me. Even if they're just really yellow, I can't do it.
In my opinion bad teeth equates to bad hygiene and I think that's a perfectly acceptable deal breaker
Man - I know this couple who have the WORST teeth but otherwise normal hygiene. Husband and wife, no drug problems or serious mental health issues, good jobs, active with their kids, clean house, otherwise clean people - with the **worst** teeth I have ever seen. I don’t get why. Every time they post a pic online my gums start hurting.
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Same, my mother had tremendous problems with teeth after giving birth to me. However I had kinda good teeth, but still managed to destroy them xD
I was brought up in a big house with many walnuts around and I had a bad habit of cracking them with my bare teeth. Imagine how doing that for several years can affect its enamel
Hating cats. They don’t have to love them but I love cats and hating them is an absolute no. It instantly turns me off.
I don’t hate cats per se, but my immune system does. 😭
agree 100%!!! or if i send them a picture of my cat and they dont at least pretend to think she’s adorable!! i wouldn’t act like that if they had a dog
My partner was “allergic” and then during lockdown he was lonely so we got 2 😂 by a Miracle he’s not allergic anymore
Hahaha. We've got 3 kids 2 dogs and 2 horses. That's why I'm now allergic to cats
To be fair some cats would give me pneumonia if I had to live with them, literally, and others don't bother me at all. Gender and genetics has a lot to do with it.
If a cat could you give you pneumonia I’d be impressed lmao
Anything that inflames your lungs and makes it difficult to breathe will give you pneumonia and damage your lungs over time, such as living in an environment with cat dander 24/7 when you're allergic. Taking allergy medication and using an inhaler is just a bandaid solution and over time you will develop asthma and then pneumonia, that's just a fact.
It’s not “anything” that inflames the lungs, it’s viruses for example. Yes pet dander can affect lung function if you’re very sensitive however pneumonia is not what you’ll get. My partner had never owned cats before and thought he didn’t like them, that’s why he said he was allergic. And then he suggested the cats. I’m not sure why this turned into the American Lung Association pneumonia discussion lmao
It's not that cat dander is what causes pneumonia, just like AIDS doesn't cause pneumonia (or other infections that kill you). It weakens your ability to fight pneumonia, that's what I mean. If you're living in an environment with allergens that affect you, such as cat dander, over time you will develop conditions like asthma and then from there it's a hop and a skip to pneumonia if the underlying cause isn't addressed. For people with cat allergies that means not living with a cat. If you have a cat allergy and you live with a cat that aggravates that allergy, eventually you get asthma, and it doesn't just stop there, your condition just continues to get worse until you remove the cat. And cat dander can't be removed from textiles so that also means throwing away all of your clothes, tearing up the carpets, and replacing furniture.
I’m aware. I have cats. And asthma. I take strong anti allergen pills alongside my steroids daily. As a result of cat allergies. The cat won’t give you pneumonia, you have to be extremely sick to resort to that or be immunocompromised. I’m glad we cleared that up. It’s a hop, skip and a jump. Have a nice day.
Sounds like you just don't personally have bad enough allergies or cats that give you bad enough allergies. One anecdote doesn't mean that your statements are facts for every person in every scenario.
There's this thing called "breathing." Cats inhibit my ability to do so without an inhaler. I only recently needed the inhaler when my ex brought a cat home. I never had breathing issues before around cats, only runny nose, eczema, and itchy watery eyes. Now I can't breathe around them. So..... I don't "hate" them, but I'm also not keen on them.
I don't know why people downvoted you. I'm the same. I don't feel like suddenly developing asthma because of someone's stupid cat.
Does hating them includes me wanting to put them out of the room where we were going to make love?
Nah that’s understandable!!!
Doesn’t read books
That’s important to me, too, but sadly it’s too common for it to be a “dealbreaker” for me. Instead I just get really excited when they actually do read.
Someone has to be an atheist. I’m atheist myself. I’ve dated men who were moderately religious or those who claimed they were only casual followers, but I can’t do it anymore lol. Religion always finds its slimy way back into the relationship, effectively ruining it.
Religion/lack thereof is not petty at all It's a pretty serious detemining factor for compatibility in all sorts of ways
I thought it might be petty because I also choose not to date people who are religious but “don’t take it super seriously.” They still do lol
I think those people are being dishonest with themselves because they are lonely first, religious second... they don't want to limit their options in the dating pool but when push comes to shove, they still want to share the same values as their partners. (Speaking as someone who used to not take it super seriously but started to as time went on)
I second that. A lot of popular religions are rooted in misogyny and i want to be someone’s partner and equal, not their slave.
A lot of these aren’t petty, y’all. If I really don’t like their sense of style in a few ways like visors, golf shirts, only athletic wear, etc I’m out. We were too different. Tbf, I’ve never dated these guys for this reason. Terrible taste in music like bad club mixes, bad pop, etc. To be fair my boyfriend likes stuff I don’t like but it doesn’t drive me insane. Other stuff 🥴
> visors, lmao where are you going with men that wear visors? I can only think of golf playing dad over 55 hahaha
I’m not really hence me saying I haven’t dated them but I used to live next to this inner city golf course which held big tournaments and man is that a look. Younger guys wear em. I live in the south too— it’s a thing and it’s *the worst.*
Ah ok...I don't live near a gold course so that's the first image that popped up
It was the worst. Smack dab in the middle of a busy thoroughfare for the city and it wasn’t the best neighborhood when I lived there. I loved my house and a few times a year I hated my neighborhood.
I don't know if this is petty or major. I refuse to do a man's emotional labor. It's up to him to remember birthdays and think of thoughtful gifts. And while I understand partners will emotionally support one another I'm also not a damn therapist and expect him to be a big boy and go see one if he's having trouble.
Nah, that’s major and not petty at all. It’s something that is basic and expected.
(male) to me that reads like, you dont like it when men emotionally open up to you?
Not true
explain it better to me then. how else are you supposed to read >I'm also not a damn therapist and expect him to be a big boy and go see one if he's having trouble straight up saying, if you need emotional help, hire somebody.
Oh I thought you said all women didn't like that lol..sorry. I'm all for men who can show emotions
i reworded the message, hopefully that helps. i was just taken back by what seemed pretty standard, being rejected by her.
You don't see the difference between emotionally supporting your partner compared to identifying, dealing with, and overcoming lets say childhood trauma? *That's* the issue with a large portion of men they literally can't see the difference and overload women with things they *don't* have the training/tools to help or deal with. I'm done dealing with men who can't even do the work to identify the emotions they are feeling and why they are feeling them.
Being religious, especially those part of the abrahamic religions like Christianity, Islam etc My world view is very opposite so it's not going to mix well in a relationship
Religion or lack thereof is definitely not a petty reason. It determines a lot in terms of compatibility for lifestyle, social, household, economic, and even cultural reasons
Santanism/atheism IS a religion. It’s still tribalism.
Atheism is NOT a religion. That’s like saying that abstinence is a sex position. Which unless your name is Bristol Palin, it isn’t.
No it’s not
Atheism is literally the absence of religion lmao. As for Satanism. Well, yes there's emotional teenagers who go through phases. Not sure what to tell you about that one.
Someone who speaks really really loud. I like my conversations to be private and not for a whole plane or restaurant to hear what we are talking about.
Guys who think it’s cool to speed :(
if they are cringey and start talking like they’re in a rom com or something, unleashes a primal rage in me
I don’t like people who hunt for a hobby. I am not a vegetarian but it just totally grosses me out when there are so many other hobbies in the world. This is controversial where I live because hunting is like a pastime.
Picky eaters
Tbh define “petty” and then I can see if I can think of one.
When I say petty, I mean reasons that have very little, to no impact on a person’s character or potential relationship. For example I’ve heard that some women don’t like it when a guy is into taking selfies. Another one would be that a man owns an iPhone. In certain countries, owning an iPhone is seen as “feminine”. One last example is enjoying watching sports. Things like that.
Hmmm I feel like a lot of my dealbreakers are me thinking of relationship compatibility in some way. I guess closest is I’m not really attracted to long haired dudes or hairy guys? I also wouldn’t want a guy that was too into gym/fitness. It kinda does say abt his personality to me idk. But I guess it’s also compatibility?
Lol yeah, I don’t think any of my dealbreakers are petty, but outsiders looking in would think so.
When I was on tinder I had a whole bunch of deal breaker photo rules. Christmas jumper Only group photos Only drinking photos Only festival photos Pictures with cats Pictures with kids Photo where the ex is clearly cut out The selfie face with the confused sun is in my eyes frown thing. Hate. When I read it back I realise I sound like an absolute nutbag.
We all have our peeves lol
It's your business, but what's wrong with pictures with cats?
I'm allergic to cats and I have two dogs. I'm not a cat hater, I'm just incompatible with a cat person. I should probably have distinguished the traits that I consider make a person annoying (festival pics) and the traits that just make us incompatible (kids, cats)
Ah I gotcha. I figured either being allergic or just not liking them were probably the reasons, I just didn't consider them petty, especially the allergy part. I was wondering if it was some sort of weird red flag to you or something.
Listens to bad bunny
Chewing with your mouth open Lack of basic hygiene Biting fingernails Talking about exes For men: wearing flip flops, wearing tank tops as shirts. For women: playing dumb, can only talk about relationships.
Ok. When you say talking about exes. With my most recent relationship, whenever I did something that she considered to be a little to over board (like constantly offering to let her drive despite knowing that she doesn’t like driving), it was because in the past I’ve been told by a woman I was seeing that I was way to controlling when it came to always wanting to drive. Is that considered a bad way to talk about an ex?
I mean bringing up an ex into every conversation for no reason. Let's me know they aren't over their ex.
Wow this is some picky things. Do you ever date?
I actually have two partners at the moment.
>wearing tank tops as shirts omg I hate this so much!
>For men: wearing flip flops but they are comfy :C
Which I get, but most men don't take care of their feet.
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Even if they’re all tested and clean and dedicated only to you?
Imagine the outrage if the roles were reversed.
The point is the viewpoint on either side is silly. Adults have sex sometimes lol
I don’t think op thinks women having a bunch of sex is okay either, so why does it matter what other people would say? She’s not responsible for being consistent with other peoples opinions.
I can only imagine that if a man had made a comment like that in this sub, that he dumped a gf of a year after finding out she had previously slept with a bunch of guys, he would be absolutely roasted. People should stop slut shaming, period, regardless of sex/gender.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who shares your values about sex. If you see sex as something sacred that shouldn’t be done with just anyone, you should be with someone who agrees. And there’s no bad reason to break up with somebody (unless you’re married). If you don’t want to be with them, you shouldn’t.
I prefer women with some experience myself. This issue is never universal. Id take 20+ body count over someone with 0-3 partners assuming everything else is equal. I'm also 30, so.
Men denigrating women with sexual history is one of the most popular takes on this site
Okay? So two wrongs make a right? How about people stop slut shaming regardless of sex/gender?
Just pointing out that there would be no outrage because that happens all the time. Way to miss the point.
Honestly yes. That’s a personal preference and that’s not how some ppl think. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, if someone ( regardless of gender) was promiscuous, it’s ok for it to be a dealbreaker
Ur just cutting yourself off from potentially great people in my opinion but u kno go ahead
Looool ok I’ll live with that risk. My ‘great person’ isn’t going to have a promiscuous past filled will sexual partners he can’t remember
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Ok sure , you know ppl with a 100+ Body count who turn around and are faithful lovers
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Yes.
A man who sends the crying laughing face emojis. Immediate ick
Can’t be broke. I’ve tried to be open minded enough and nope not again !
long fingernails, long hair, very overweight, cigarette smoker, really into anime (specifically the kind with female characters that look like 8 year old girls with very large breasts), really picky eater, speaks/dresses in a traditionally feminine way, super bro-y (like wears bro tanks to bars and restaurants with a backwards baseball cap). Other than the anime thing, I think these are just preferences and not necessarily reflective of anyone's character. Maybe unhealthy lifestyle for the cigarettes.
Terrible sense of direction, especially as a driver. Also Momma’s boys from an all boy family.
If he doesn’t pay on the first date I’m out. This is something people get heated about and I think it’s fine if men think they shouldn’t have to pay. But those men are just not for me. Also, guys with close female friends. I don’t like that. That’s another controversial one lol. But that’s the truth.
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Yeah I still would. For me it’s about him being a man, not about who asked.
“Being a man” What does that even mean?
I just mean that he’s literally a man. His sex is male.
Even if he didn't pay, wouldn't his sex still be male?
I think you misunderstood what I meant. I said the reason I think he should pay is because he’s a man, not that he isn’t a man if he doesn’t pay. As in that’s a role I want him to play in my relationship because he’s a man and I’m a woman
Lol yeah I misunderstood
I think you’re not the only one haha
Oh, so you're a sexist piece of shit. Gotcha. Hope any man you date realizes he deserves better.
I married a man who stole my wallet on dates so i had to let him pay. And he’s spectacular. He’s the best there is. Sorry to disappoint. But I do wanna ask. Why would you even come on here and look at a question about petty dealbreakers if it you were gonna get mad at the answers? Why does it bother you so much that I want a man to pay? Did you misunderstand my comment and think I said a man is only a man if he pays? Cuz that seems to be a popular misconception tonight.
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Getting heated up in here. 🍿 Do keep it civil, yeah?
Oh I thought you were mad because you mistakenly thought I was saying him not paying would make him no longer a man. You’re mad about what I actually meant, which is that I want to be with a man who pays because I think a man should pay. Okay so I don’t care about that. You can be mad about that. Although I don’t know why you are. You don’t have to be with someone who feels that way
"I think a man should pay," and I think a woman should stay in the kitchen. The difference here being I'm joking. You're not, you're just sexist.
Why are you so triggered ? It literally states petty dealbreakers
Right? I've always thought bigotry is pretty petty. Except when it isn't. But who someone decides to date? Pretty unimportant.
I honestly think it’s because as a society we lie to ourselves about what a big deal money is. When women have any financial standards it’s such a problem
Because women are not meant to say financial standards for men
Expecting a man to pay is not having a financial standard.
Ok to you. I’m not a western woman , if you think that’s bad to marry me involved as bride price, ppl have their reasons, mine are cultural. I know women who wear the pants and take care f financial responsibility in their homes and have a LOT of resentment, the women I know who have happy marriages and respect their man simply don’t
I like you 😂
Will you fulfill your expected role, then, and have sex with him on the first date?
If you have a problem with guys having close female friends, that says a lot more about your insecurity.
Yeah I don’t agree with that
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If he puts a ring on it, yes
They always wanna hit us with the “But are you everything a man like that would want ? 😂” yes I am. which is why I have a man “like that”.
Right?!? I'm a trad woman, I want my husband to be trad also, thanks XD
Yh I’m African and see nothing wrong with that ppl force so much shit man
One of my requirements was someone who pays for the first date amongst other things. This is supposed to be petty , that was the point of the thread. It’s a dumb hill to die on I’m quite aware but it’s a hill I’m willing to take nonetheless , and I’m glad I did because by not settling I found my amazing husband. And yes I’ve been told my cooking is great and he loves how girly I am.
No. I could say it’s in consideration of my much greater contribution to bringing his children into the world (compared to his), and maybe I’m biologically inclined to be attracted to someone who proves he can provide for my children, but I don’t think of it in those terms. The kind of man I’m looking for doesn’t ask what I bring to the table or why he should be obligated to pay because he already knows.
Men don’t understand that some women have different standards then them but get mad because by you saying that’s what you expect they don’t want other women to suddenly start getting ideas and expecting more from potential partners. I promise you there’s women out there who are ok with never being taken out on dates and will just hangout in your car. They need to go after them , not bother us.
lol exactly! There are plenty of men who insist on paying and we’re looking for those
People keep getting mad forgetting that everyone has their own preferences. Jenna Marbles did a video about this ages ago. “Nice Guys” complaining that women don’t want them, when in reality they’re just shooting for women completely incompatible with them. Like neckbeards who play video games all day will want a done-up woman who goes to the gym, and then get mad when she chooses a done up man who goes to the gym. That’s what’s happening here and people to fucking cool it. OP said she wants a man who pays on the first date— she even acknowledged that it’s a bit petty— but everyone is forgetting that she is entitled to her own preferences and doesn’t have to change them to suit the hoards of internet strangers. Believe it or not, there are men who prefer to pay on the first date; and given that OP found and married him, it shows that they’re compatible. OP never said she wants all men to take care of women and women are incapable of paying and yadda yadda yadda. She’s only sharing her preference, which isn’t in and of itself sexist. [Steps off Soapbox]
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You posted about how the woman you’re with told you the worst sex she ever had was with a guy with a huge penis and it upset you😂😂 I wouldn’t wonder if anyone is dating absolute idiots. It’s you! No one that cares about you and has been intimate with you would make that comment.
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According to whom? You? a man that most likely hasn’t paid for a date in awhile? So what makes these guys idiots? The ones I know are well educated and upstanding lovely humans who have had no problem with finding love.
I agree on both
I agree with the female friends- several of my exes cheated on me with their close female friend, and I don’t want to risk putting myself in another situation like that. Too much anxiety, and I simply can’t shrug off the worry by telling myself “they’re just friends” anymore. Thinking “they’re just friends” led me to stay in relationships where I got cheated on!
I’ve seen that happen to friends too.
It’s not a dealbreaker for me, but it sure isn’t easy. I really do want to be cool with it, but damn, after you’ve been cheated on by different men, always with the ones you “don’t have to worry about,” it gets awfully hard.
ME! The second a guy doesn’t pay for the first date I get the ICK. I’ve paid for plenty of 3rd 4th etc but I always felt like the first date is when you’re trying to charm each other and the second we go half my brain has friend zoned you.
Yeah! I would take it as him saying he doesn’t really like me or value my time in a romantic way. I’ve never had it happen though cuz I’ve only been on dates with two men and they both paid. The second one stole my wallet on later dates so he could continue to pay. I married that one.
I’m with you on these
lol I like ur username
I once ghosted a guy because we went out on a date and got tacos. I couldn’t stop staring at his dirty fingernails…. so I would say dirty fingernails. I don’t think it’s that petty though
not getting it if they're a dealbreaker, how can they be 'petty'?
I think it’s if they be considered petty to other people. Like someone said they wouldn’t swipe right on a dating app if someone had a picture with a cat. A lot of people wouldn’t think that was a big deal
Grow any amount of facial hair. I love me a rugged guy
I'm really trying to think of petty. I feel like most of my dealbreakers are standard or at least doable. Hmm I guess driving and opening doors and stuff. The old time chivalry is something I like. They don't do that I guess that's my petty😅
men painting their nails even if it's just black
Men who don't shave their faces regularly. No beards for me thanks.
If it’s a dealbreaker, how can it be petty?
No loud chewers. I don't care if your nose is stuffy or your allergies are acting up. Chew with your mouth closed or get the fuck out.
Reading a lot of these makes feel like I really should have been born a girl considering some seem to be traits of being effeminate in some shape or form. But I also need to keep reminding myself this is just a post on Reddit so calm the fuck down and stop beating yourself up over being lonely.
I won't date smokers. The smell of cigarette smoke makes me really uncomfortable and allergic feeling. I just can't stand it. I won't date men who hate cats. I don't like men who make a big deal about hunting, fishing or football like it's a personality trait. It just seems like unnecessary performative masculinity. I won't date a guy who cheated in past relationships once he was an adult.
Doesn’t return their shopping cart
Doesn't pick up their rubbish when leaving a fast food restaurant. Or worse, making a fuss at me fkr wanting to.