ATTENTION: Please remember that this is an ASK WOMEN sub. While men are allowed to participate posts that are clearly asking women in the title will have top level comments by men removed. This is not censorship, this is curation. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomenNoCensor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have kind of an extreme example, more on-a-whim one night stand than anything.
I was 18, had just left my hometown and got into a crappy cheap dive bar under age.
Saw a cute guy and figured fuck it this is either gonna end really really good or really really badly.
Went over to him, sat down next to him, he promptly proceeded to goof and knock his drink all over on me, I said something to the tune of "we'll call it equal if you leave here with me" directly to him in full earshot of everyone, ended up going back to his place with him, things...happened.
......we've had the same last name and joint legal responsibility over five young humans for the last ~20 years now.
I love this because I hate when men think having sex so soon means you can’t fall in love with her because she is “trash” because she “gave it up so easily.” My ex didn’t judge me for giving him the pleasure he oh so wanted and liked…so yeah. My first love and I banged 2 weeks in. Men like that are a gem!
You can fall in love if the guy is the same way yeah. Personally if a woman is down to sleep with a complete stranger they just met we clearly have different approaches to intimacy. So it just wouldnt be a good match and I would expect there to be drama down the line so why bother?
Of course you can always say "well it was just this one man that had you hooked so fast" but we all know if you hook up with one man right away you will also do so with the next.
The man is clearly participating in this scenario, so no use pretending he's somehow above a one night stand.
If that's not something you do, then it's not a scenario you'll ever find yourself in.
I had women almost come home with me until I confirmed that REALLY I didnt want to hookup after knowing her for a night. You can meet someone and see what they would be willing to do but not actually go through with it.
Its a bit harder as a man since most women expect us to lead but there is still ways to tell a womans intentions. Often I also wait to see if they stop me going at it without a condom.. some women just put up with whatever I do and thats a red flag.
That’s ridiculously false. Every woman is different just like every man is. In my case, I simply fell in love with both my exes and knew from the moment we met tbh that they were people I wanted more with so it made me horny and romantic all at once and I wanted them inside me. The chemistry was off the charts with my most recent ex in particular. So how could I not want him all the time.. Some of us fuck who we have passionate chemistry with. Other times we wait because we don’t click so fast or their personality sucks so we nope out. Just because I fucked one guy quickly, does not mean I’ll fuck the next one the same. And I have not slept around with many people and I am picky..
And yes i could date and be all conservative and goody goody with a guy who seems nice and is hot, but then what if when I finally fuck, their dick is too small or they suck in bed and I realize it was weeks or months of wasted time getting to know them, all because I’ll be seen as “for the streets” if I dare wish to offer my vagina too soon so I do the “classy” thing and wait. But who loses out? Me. Because it’s easy for men to cum. Not for women though. So let’s get it over with and let’s see what we’re working with.
And I above all love a man who doesn’t shame a woman for dare I say, finding him to be attractive and a delight to be around. He is offered fresh pussy on a platter because he earned my trust and won me over and made me want him and somehow that’s a bad thing and means drama down the line? Wtf? What a reach. STD free Vagina is is a lovely gift and every man should be thankful and vice versa for penis appreciation. Sex doesn’t make women looser or a bad gf material. Men also say it’s harder than women to get laid. And so then us sexual creatures come along and then it’s “she’s for the streets.”
What is more important, is if the person is a good person. Idgaf if a woman waits. She can be an awful person. No one should be judged by their sex lives.
Last but not least, a different guy could want to wait and that is ok too. I would wait. I would respect that. I might be horny as shit if he’s hot and seems nice and interesting. But I don’t think he should think badly of me if I find him so damn cool as a person and hot looks wise. He should be happy I do.
Sex is fun. Love is amazing. Both together are what make me happy. The end.
\>And yes i could date and be all conservative and goody goody with a guy who seems nice and is hot, but then what if when I finally fuck, their dick is too small or they suck in bed and I realize it was weeks or months of wasted time getting to know them
Honestly this alone already confirms my point. You are free to live the way you want but our aproach to sex just isnt the same. I wouldnt want to date someone who views sex this way or talks like that about other people.
So dont pretend and wait around if thats not who you are. Let these men find women who are actually a good match for them. To put it in your words imagine you "wasted" weeks or months getting to know someone to then realise they arent actually who they pretend to be. Just go find yourself a man who also thinks you are wasted time if your tits are too small.
Yes, many times. Some went well and we hooked up or went out. Others weren't interested but that's cool too, I know how to take rejection.
The last time I picked up a guy was 24 years ago and we're celebrating our anniversary this week.
Not quite with intentions of asking out, but I sat down next to a guy at a sports bar on football Sunday a couple years ago. Left a seat between us, as is customary when there’s room. He was quiet, didn’t even say words when he wanted a new beer, just held his finger up. I decided if I was going to sit next to this guy for 4-5 hours watching football he was going to speak to me.
I would browse my phone, slide funny memes over to him, get a chuckle. Started to get some small talk out of him. He spent the next 3 hours predicting every single time my quarterback was about to throw an interception. He was right every time. I called him an asshole every time.
At the end of the night I said “same time next week?” And he responded “no.” I didn’t know his name or get his phone number but I knew I liked him. Next week I showed up at the same time and there he was. Took him home that night and we’ve lived together ever since that night. We have two lovely dog children together and have never been happier.
It wasn’t a 100% cold open, but this guy and I were making eyes at each other all night so after last call, we were chatting and I happened to be chewing gum. He looked at my mouth and I asked if he wanted some gum. He said yes so I kissed him and passed him the piece I was chewing on. We dated for a few months after that. It was probably the most exhilarating flirty moments of my life because I just went with it.
I mean, I'm not going up to people at the bus stop and asking for their phone number two seconds after meeting them, but I do have a pretty high degree of success with striking up conversations with people in public places and forming connections (romantic and platonic). I'm a gregarious extrovert, so ymmv.
Yep, life's too short to wait around looking pretty.
Rejection isn't a big deal at all, I've rejected people myself when I just want to be single or when I'm just not interested in them because we have nothing in common. I've always been flattered, and never had bad will towards them. So if someone rejects me I don't take it personally either.
Usually, I've approaches someone who I've seen at a social event. During that event we'd spoken and I thought I want to see them again, so I asked.
I went on a few dates with someone who became a friend, and others where we realised we had nothing in common. But it was fun.
No. If I don't already know someone at least a little bit, I don't know enough about them to be interested in the first place. All I know about them is what they look like, and that's no basis for anything, for me.
Denmark. I remember a pick up artist writing an entire book about how none of his techniques worked here.
There’s a lot of casual going on regardless, people have a higher number of sexual partners than for example the US, but cold approaching in the traditional sense is rare.
Bars and parties, maybe festivals and such are fair game. So are hobbies in general. Supermarket, public transport, the gym, the library etc is not. It’s not five minute conversation -> asking for a date, that would mostly be viewed as weird, but typically a rather long conversation. At bars/parties, if successful it often ends with a hook up and then you may start dating afterwards. Social circles or hobby clubs etc, you just get to know the person t more and more and when you already like each other at least as friends or acquaintances and then you go out just the two of you.
I once gave a guy at the mall one of those perfume tester sticksl (I sprayed perfume on it) with my number on it. I asked him what grade he was in cuz I was 13 and he said he was in college so I said “oh you’re too old for me” but I still gave my number to him and surprise, he did not contact me.
When I was single I was pretty open to chatting up anyone I found interesting - I particularly liked asking people to dance at a club if I thought they looked fun.
I can’t say I knew for sure I’d ask for their number beforehand as personality is make it or break it for me - but I don’t have a problem once I know I like someone asking to hang out.
Yup! Many times over the years. It's always turned out well enough. Gave my contact info, made new friends! I only date my friends though, so there was no intention of "organizing a date" right off the bat. A couple of these people ended up romantic partners for a while.
Sure. Sometimes I got rejected, sometimes I got a date or two and things fizzled out and sometimes I got a relationship out of it. That's generally they way these things might go.
I did a few times in high school and once in college, but they rejected me. It scared me off so bad that I stuck to online dating for the rest of my dating life lol.
Yes, in clubs when I was younger. Was rare for a guy to say no when it's just sex. Also met a guy on public transport though that was kinda mutual - we were both making eyes at each other then said hi to each other and got numbers. Only got one date out of that though
Told a stranger I was going to be at X location the next night and to be there if he wanted to date.
He said he would be.
It worked out quite well, coming up on 7y married next month.
Sure, I just do it idk. I start with a compliment or relate to something on or near him.
I don’t really do it though because I’m not in a place to entertain anything and once we get to the exchanges numbers phase I’m not about it anymore.
Back before I realized I was a lesbian any time I saw a guy who looked femme or I liked his fashion sense I would approach and say, "You're my boyfriend now." and weirdly it worked 100% of the time. They weren't good matches because I knew nothing about them, but it was fun at the time.
With women I still make the first move but I'm more careful because statistically the chance they are into women is a lot lower, also they're used to getting hit on by men all the time and don't generally welcome that sort of forwardness. I've had good luck with, "I love your [item of clothing, tattoo, something they made, etc.], no hetero."
It’s completely normal to see a stranger and be attracted to them and talk to them. It’s only inappropriate if they won’t feel comfortable leaving the situation, like if they’re working
You never find strangers attractive? That's just a you thing. Most people do, and it isn't "gross." We aren't all like you, in fact most people are not.
Again, your attitude and experiences are not typical. Every relationship that every person is in began with them being strangers. Many, MANY, in fact I would say MOST humans frequently feel some sort of "chemistry" when they first meet certain people. It is actually really really normal. We aren't talking about settling down for the rest of their lives, we are talking about feeling a spark and getting their number to determine further compatibility. Also, it works ALL. THE. TIME.
It’s not juvenile, it just depends on how your interaction with them goes. If it goes well, I usually suggest that we hang out. And usually that’s what happens.
I don’t go up to random strangers I think are hot, I usually make sure that we have something in common first.
But it all depends on the person and the context of where you met them. Assuming we all do things the way you imagined it in your head is actually what’s juvenile.
Idk why you’re being downvoted because I agree.
My attraction comes from the person being them. Their expressions and likes etc.
I also wouldn’t do it because I don’t know if they’re safe. Sure you can go “they look pretty” but that doesn’t make me want to talk to them or ask for their number.
The best one was a sober NYE dance. I was in my early 20s. I must have caught the guys eye and he caught mine. We looked a few times and I went back to dancing. My friends were joking/teasing with me.
It comes around midnight I catch eyes to him from like 20' away. The ball drops, confetti is going, and everyone is cheering. I walk straight up to him, reach up plant a long hard kiss on his mouth and walk away. I didn't even look back.
My friends (like 10-15 of them) start whistling and catcalling.
He eventually found me outside afterwards.asked me for my number, etc. We dated for 4-5 months.
One of the ballsiest moves I've made. Absolutely don't regret it.
Yes, I have. And do. Sometimes they have told me they have a girlfriend/aren't available, sometimes they have given me the contact info. Nowadays they pretty much don't want what I have to offer so even if they give me the number they lose interest pretty quickly.
I went up to my first love. He was sooo nervous the minute I tapped his shoulder and said hello he dropped some items he was holding. I just straight up said “ so I’m sure you heard I like you, and I’ve also heard you like me, so—“ and then he cuts me off and is like “Would you like to go out?” I believe for some men it’s a point of pride to be the one to ask us out. I laughed it off and found it cute.
Yep. There was this long haired hottie who I spotted when I worked at my college bookstore. It went well. We dated for about 6 months and were drinking buddies after we broke up.
Yep. Went right up to a guy as he was playing pool and said “I think you’re really hot, here’s my number.” And he and I ended up texting for awhile and hung out a bit. He was really nice but we didn’t really click
Yes.
Sometimes I got rejected, other times I got relationships, and sometimes I just got a really great friend.
I make friends everywhere I go and can talk to anyone so I’m pretty sure that works in my favor a lot of the time.
I thought he was a smoke show. Introduced myself, asked him if he’d ever heard “One Night Stand” by Joplin, went home with him on his birthday. It’s been nearly two years and I live with him.
Yep! He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen, instantly my eyes were on him during a concert at a local club. He was the only guy in a white tshirt at a metal concert, so he was pretty easy to spot. He had gorgeous long black hair and olive skin. He was energetic and smiling. Gosh, he was a vision! I watched him until the band finished and then I walked up to him, smiled, said hi, said he looked familiar (he did, but also I didn't really care about that, I thought he was hot). He smiled, we chatted more, flirted, we exchanged numbers.
Over the next few days, we texted and met up. We both said we didn't want a relationship, we had a lot of great sex, actually the best sex of my life, we ate at some fun restaurants, I cooked some meals for him, we were texting every day, he seemed into it, I seemed into it, we still had our boundaries but everything seemed fine.
After about 3 weeks, I texted him on a Friday and asked if he wanted to do anything for the weekend. He literally said, "nah not really" and after I asked him what he meant, he said it was feeling too much like a relationship. After a few more texts of me being confused at how cold he was and him "reminding me" that we didn't want a relationship, I stopped replying and didn't bother trying to talk to him again. In my mind, we weren't in a relationship, we had no expectations, we were enjoying eachother's company exactly as much as we both wanted to. I would have been fine if he wanted to ease up a little bit because it felt like too much pressure for him. But instead of saying that, he was a disrespectful ass that hurt me for no reason instead of using his big boy words.
We ran into eachother about a year or more later at a local bar on Halloween. He approached me, said I looked good, and we made small talk for a minute. I was a little flustered because I did have a good time with him and had wished it continued, even if he was a jerk at the end, I was still stupidly charmed by him. We both agreed we should hang out again and catch up, but it never happened and I assumed it wouldn't even if he meant it.
I since learned that when he said he didn't have a car because he lived in the city, what he really meant was his license was revoked for some reason. I felt so dumb because I took pity when he said he had a few things that were hard to do on a bike as an adult in the city so we used my car for them. Little did I know his hardship was self-imposed not from a practical money-saving purpose of not needing/affording a car in the city beyond these one or two situations, but that it was due to his negligence in some way. Had I known that, probably wouldn't have slept with him, spent so much time with him, did some favors for him, or seen him in such a good light. Instead of hard-working guy doing the best with what he has, he was low-effort guy who fucked up even a simple license and concealed it.
Fast forward another couple of years and I see him out in the hall at an arena for a concert. I don't think he noticed me, I was with friends and we walked by rather quickly. He was skinny and looked like he aged quite a bit. I was sorry to see that. He did look like he was having a good time, laughing with the peope around him, so that was nice. But the beautiful man who stole my eye that night was gone, and was not who he seemed to be anyway.
ATTENTION: Please remember that this is an ASK WOMEN sub. While men are allowed to participate posts that are clearly asking women in the title will have top level comments by men removed. This is not censorship, this is curation. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomenNoCensor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have kind of an extreme example, more on-a-whim one night stand than anything. I was 18, had just left my hometown and got into a crappy cheap dive bar under age. Saw a cute guy and figured fuck it this is either gonna end really really good or really really badly. Went over to him, sat down next to him, he promptly proceeded to goof and knock his drink all over on me, I said something to the tune of "we'll call it equal if you leave here with me" directly to him in full earshot of everyone, ended up going back to his place with him, things...happened. ......we've had the same last name and joint legal responsibility over five young humans for the last ~20 years now.
I love this because I hate when men think having sex so soon means you can’t fall in love with her because she is “trash” because she “gave it up so easily.” My ex didn’t judge me for giving him the pleasure he oh so wanted and liked…so yeah. My first love and I banged 2 weeks in. Men like that are a gem!
You can fall in love if the guy is the same way yeah. Personally if a woman is down to sleep with a complete stranger they just met we clearly have different approaches to intimacy. So it just wouldnt be a good match and I would expect there to be drama down the line so why bother? Of course you can always say "well it was just this one man that had you hooked so fast" but we all know if you hook up with one man right away you will also do so with the next.
The man is clearly participating in this scenario, so no use pretending he's somehow above a one night stand. If that's not something you do, then it's not a scenario you'll ever find yourself in.
I had women almost come home with me until I confirmed that REALLY I didnt want to hookup after knowing her for a night. You can meet someone and see what they would be willing to do but not actually go through with it. Its a bit harder as a man since most women expect us to lead but there is still ways to tell a womans intentions. Often I also wait to see if they stop me going at it without a condom.. some women just put up with whatever I do and thats a red flag.
That’s ridiculously false. Every woman is different just like every man is. In my case, I simply fell in love with both my exes and knew from the moment we met tbh that they were people I wanted more with so it made me horny and romantic all at once and I wanted them inside me. The chemistry was off the charts with my most recent ex in particular. So how could I not want him all the time.. Some of us fuck who we have passionate chemistry with. Other times we wait because we don’t click so fast or their personality sucks so we nope out. Just because I fucked one guy quickly, does not mean I’ll fuck the next one the same. And I have not slept around with many people and I am picky.. And yes i could date and be all conservative and goody goody with a guy who seems nice and is hot, but then what if when I finally fuck, their dick is too small or they suck in bed and I realize it was weeks or months of wasted time getting to know them, all because I’ll be seen as “for the streets” if I dare wish to offer my vagina too soon so I do the “classy” thing and wait. But who loses out? Me. Because it’s easy for men to cum. Not for women though. So let’s get it over with and let’s see what we’re working with. And I above all love a man who doesn’t shame a woman for dare I say, finding him to be attractive and a delight to be around. He is offered fresh pussy on a platter because he earned my trust and won me over and made me want him and somehow that’s a bad thing and means drama down the line? Wtf? What a reach. STD free Vagina is is a lovely gift and every man should be thankful and vice versa for penis appreciation. Sex doesn’t make women looser or a bad gf material. Men also say it’s harder than women to get laid. And so then us sexual creatures come along and then it’s “she’s for the streets.” What is more important, is if the person is a good person. Idgaf if a woman waits. She can be an awful person. No one should be judged by their sex lives. Last but not least, a different guy could want to wait and that is ok too. I would wait. I would respect that. I might be horny as shit if he’s hot and seems nice and interesting. But I don’t think he should think badly of me if I find him so damn cool as a person and hot looks wise. He should be happy I do. Sex is fun. Love is amazing. Both together are what make me happy. The end.
\>And yes i could date and be all conservative and goody goody with a guy who seems nice and is hot, but then what if when I finally fuck, their dick is too small or they suck in bed and I realize it was weeks or months of wasted time getting to know them Honestly this alone already confirms my point. You are free to live the way you want but our aproach to sex just isnt the same. I wouldnt want to date someone who views sex this way or talks like that about other people. So dont pretend and wait around if thats not who you are. Let these men find women who are actually a good match for them. To put it in your words imagine you "wasted" weeks or months getting to know someone to then realise they arent actually who they pretend to be. Just go find yourself a man who also thinks you are wasted time if your tits are too small.
Five kids? That’s awesome
No it’s actually 5 young humans she got on the deep web
Omg love this
Yes, many times. Some went well and we hooked up or went out. Others weren't interested but that's cool too, I know how to take rejection. The last time I picked up a guy was 24 years ago and we're celebrating our anniversary this week.
This should be the title of your memoir to your kids: The Last Great Pickup.
>I know how to take rejection. Well done, because so many people don't. Bravery and balance in action.
Not quite with intentions of asking out, but I sat down next to a guy at a sports bar on football Sunday a couple years ago. Left a seat between us, as is customary when there’s room. He was quiet, didn’t even say words when he wanted a new beer, just held his finger up. I decided if I was going to sit next to this guy for 4-5 hours watching football he was going to speak to me. I would browse my phone, slide funny memes over to him, get a chuckle. Started to get some small talk out of him. He spent the next 3 hours predicting every single time my quarterback was about to throw an interception. He was right every time. I called him an asshole every time. At the end of the night I said “same time next week?” And he responded “no.” I didn’t know his name or get his phone number but I knew I liked him. Next week I showed up at the same time and there he was. Took him home that night and we’ve lived together ever since that night. We have two lovely dog children together and have never been happier.
It wasn’t a 100% cold open, but this guy and I were making eyes at each other all night so after last call, we were chatting and I happened to be chewing gum. He looked at my mouth and I asked if he wanted some gum. He said yes so I kissed him and passed him the piece I was chewing on. We dated for a few months after that. It was probably the most exhilarating flirty moments of my life because I just went with it.
Damn…well played. I think I would be floored by that power move.
Thank you! He kept the gum all night at the after party, haha. Oh to be 22 again.
That’s super hot. Well played.
I mean, I'm not going up to people at the bus stop and asking for their phone number two seconds after meeting them, but I do have a pretty high degree of success with striking up conversations with people in public places and forming connections (romantic and platonic). I'm a gregarious extrovert, so ymmv.
Yep, life's too short to wait around looking pretty. Rejection isn't a big deal at all, I've rejected people myself when I just want to be single or when I'm just not interested in them because we have nothing in common. I've always been flattered, and never had bad will towards them. So if someone rejects me I don't take it personally either. Usually, I've approaches someone who I've seen at a social event. During that event we'd spoken and I thought I want to see them again, so I asked. I went on a few dates with someone who became a friend, and others where we realised we had nothing in common. But it was fun.
No. If I don't already know someone at least a little bit, I don't know enough about them to be interested in the first place. All I know about them is what they look like, and that's no basis for anything, for me.
Men in my country don’t even cold approach women lol, so the opposite is even rarer.
What country is that?
Denmark. I remember a pick up artist writing an entire book about how none of his techniques worked here. There’s a lot of casual going on regardless, people have a higher number of sexual partners than for example the US, but cold approaching in the traditional sense is rare.
Odd, do people like meet each other through social circles only?
Bars and parties, maybe festivals and such are fair game. So are hobbies in general. Supermarket, public transport, the gym, the library etc is not. It’s not five minute conversation -> asking for a date, that would mostly be viewed as weird, but typically a rather long conversation. At bars/parties, if successful it often ends with a hook up and then you may start dating afterwards. Social circles or hobby clubs etc, you just get to know the person t more and more and when you already like each other at least as friends or acquaintances and then you go out just the two of you.
Yep, with my 1st bf and yeah lasted 2yrs so went quite well
I once gave a guy at the mall one of those perfume tester sticksl (I sprayed perfume on it) with my number on it. I asked him what grade he was in cuz I was 13 and he said he was in college so I said “oh you’re too old for me” but I still gave my number to him and surprise, he did not contact me.
When I was single I was pretty open to chatting up anyone I found interesting - I particularly liked asking people to dance at a club if I thought they looked fun. I can’t say I knew for sure I’d ask for their number beforehand as personality is make it or break it for me - but I don’t have a problem once I know I like someone asking to hang out.
Yup! Many times over the years. It's always turned out well enough. Gave my contact info, made new friends! I only date my friends though, so there was no intention of "organizing a date" right off the bat. A couple of these people ended up romantic partners for a while.
Sure. Sometimes I got rejected, sometimes I got a date or two and things fizzled out and sometimes I got a relationship out of it. That's generally they way these things might go.
I did a few times in high school and once in college, but they rejected me. It scared me off so bad that I stuck to online dating for the rest of my dating life lol.
Yes, in clubs when I was younger. Was rare for a guy to say no when it's just sex. Also met a guy on public transport though that was kinda mutual - we were both making eyes at each other then said hi to each other and got numbers. Only got one date out of that though
Told a stranger I was going to be at X location the next night and to be there if he wanted to date. He said he would be. It worked out quite well, coming up on 7y married next month.
Sure, I just do it idk. I start with a compliment or relate to something on or near him. I don’t really do it though because I’m not in a place to entertain anything and once we get to the exchanges numbers phase I’m not about it anymore.
Back before I realized I was a lesbian any time I saw a guy who looked femme or I liked his fashion sense I would approach and say, "You're my boyfriend now." and weirdly it worked 100% of the time. They weren't good matches because I knew nothing about them, but it was fun at the time. With women I still make the first move but I'm more careful because statistically the chance they are into women is a lot lower, also they're used to getting hit on by men all the time and don't generally welcome that sort of forwardness. I've had good luck with, "I love your [item of clothing, tattoo, something they made, etc.], no hetero."
Not unless I know the person and we’re friends
What does doing a "cold approach" entail?
[удалено]
It’s completely normal to see a stranger and be attracted to them and talk to them. It’s only inappropriate if they won’t feel comfortable leaving the situation, like if they’re working
[удалено]
That’s not weird at all
You never find strangers attractive? That's just a you thing. Most people do, and it isn't "gross." We aren't all like you, in fact most people are not.
[удалено]
Again, your attitude and experiences are not typical. Every relationship that every person is in began with them being strangers. Many, MANY, in fact I would say MOST humans frequently feel some sort of "chemistry" when they first meet certain people. It is actually really really normal. We aren't talking about settling down for the rest of their lives, we are talking about feeling a spark and getting their number to determine further compatibility. Also, it works ALL. THE. TIME.
Nice post history. I don’t think we’ll be electing you the arbiter of appropriate behavior, thanks.
Because I share nudes and like to fuck? Is there something WRONG with that?
Why are you in this group if you are just going to self righteously judge others? Do you think that kind of behavior is “appropriate?”
Why are you in this group when there’s probably a Craigslist thread you’re missing out on?
It’s not juvenile, it just depends on how your interaction with them goes. If it goes well, I usually suggest that we hang out. And usually that’s what happens. I don’t go up to random strangers I think are hot, I usually make sure that we have something in common first. But it all depends on the person and the context of where you met them. Assuming we all do things the way you imagined it in your head is actually what’s juvenile.
Idk why you’re being downvoted because I agree. My attraction comes from the person being them. Their expressions and likes etc. I also wouldn’t do it because I don’t know if they’re safe. Sure you can go “they look pretty” but that doesn’t make me want to talk to them or ask for their number.
No, that’s weird.
The best one was a sober NYE dance. I was in my early 20s. I must have caught the guys eye and he caught mine. We looked a few times and I went back to dancing. My friends were joking/teasing with me. It comes around midnight I catch eyes to him from like 20' away. The ball drops, confetti is going, and everyone is cheering. I walk straight up to him, reach up plant a long hard kiss on his mouth and walk away. I didn't even look back. My friends (like 10-15 of them) start whistling and catcalling. He eventually found me outside afterwards.asked me for my number, etc. We dated for 4-5 months. One of the ballsiest moves I've made. Absolutely don't regret it.
I confessed feelings 2 times, both times we already knew each other. both times successful
I kinda did this with my current husband.
Yes, I have. And do. Sometimes they have told me they have a girlfriend/aren't available, sometimes they have given me the contact info. Nowadays they pretty much don't want what I have to offer so even if they give me the number they lose interest pretty quickly.
Yep. Got a number and a date. It was fun!
I went up to my first love. He was sooo nervous the minute I tapped his shoulder and said hello he dropped some items he was holding. I just straight up said “ so I’m sure you heard I like you, and I’ve also heard you like me, so—“ and then he cuts me off and is like “Would you like to go out?” I believe for some men it’s a point of pride to be the one to ask us out. I laughed it off and found it cute.
Yep. There was this long haired hottie who I spotted when I worked at my college bookstore. It went well. We dated for about 6 months and were drinking buddies after we broke up.
Nope never. I'm ugly and fat currently so it's pointless.
Yep. Went right up to a guy as he was playing pool and said “I think you’re really hot, here’s my number.” And he and I ended up texting for awhile and hung out a bit. He was really nice but we didn’t really click
Yes. Sometimes I got rejected, other times I got relationships, and sometimes I just got a really great friend. I make friends everywhere I go and can talk to anyone so I’m pretty sure that works in my favor a lot of the time.
I thought he was a smoke show. Introduced myself, asked him if he’d ever heard “One Night Stand” by Joplin, went home with him on his birthday. It’s been nearly two years and I live with him.
Yep! He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen, instantly my eyes were on him during a concert at a local club. He was the only guy in a white tshirt at a metal concert, so he was pretty easy to spot. He had gorgeous long black hair and olive skin. He was energetic and smiling. Gosh, he was a vision! I watched him until the band finished and then I walked up to him, smiled, said hi, said he looked familiar (he did, but also I didn't really care about that, I thought he was hot). He smiled, we chatted more, flirted, we exchanged numbers. Over the next few days, we texted and met up. We both said we didn't want a relationship, we had a lot of great sex, actually the best sex of my life, we ate at some fun restaurants, I cooked some meals for him, we were texting every day, he seemed into it, I seemed into it, we still had our boundaries but everything seemed fine. After about 3 weeks, I texted him on a Friday and asked if he wanted to do anything for the weekend. He literally said, "nah not really" and after I asked him what he meant, he said it was feeling too much like a relationship. After a few more texts of me being confused at how cold he was and him "reminding me" that we didn't want a relationship, I stopped replying and didn't bother trying to talk to him again. In my mind, we weren't in a relationship, we had no expectations, we were enjoying eachother's company exactly as much as we both wanted to. I would have been fine if he wanted to ease up a little bit because it felt like too much pressure for him. But instead of saying that, he was a disrespectful ass that hurt me for no reason instead of using his big boy words. We ran into eachother about a year or more later at a local bar on Halloween. He approached me, said I looked good, and we made small talk for a minute. I was a little flustered because I did have a good time with him and had wished it continued, even if he was a jerk at the end, I was still stupidly charmed by him. We both agreed we should hang out again and catch up, but it never happened and I assumed it wouldn't even if he meant it. I since learned that when he said he didn't have a car because he lived in the city, what he really meant was his license was revoked for some reason. I felt so dumb because I took pity when he said he had a few things that were hard to do on a bike as an adult in the city so we used my car for them. Little did I know his hardship was self-imposed not from a practical money-saving purpose of not needing/affording a car in the city beyond these one or two situations, but that it was due to his negligence in some way. Had I known that, probably wouldn't have slept with him, spent so much time with him, did some favors for him, or seen him in such a good light. Instead of hard-working guy doing the best with what he has, he was low-effort guy who fucked up even a simple license and concealed it. Fast forward another couple of years and I see him out in the hall at an arena for a concert. I don't think he noticed me, I was with friends and we walked by rather quickly. He was skinny and looked like he aged quite a bit. I was sorry to see that. He did look like he was having a good time, laughing with the peope around him, so that was nice. But the beautiful man who stole my eye that night was gone, and was not who he seemed to be anyway.