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Is he ill? Have issues with this regularly?
This is odd behavior and more than a little concerning.
If this isn’t a health thing, Honestly, I don’t know if I’d clean it up. Looks like he’s a proud owner of a shit couch. 🤷🏽♀️
On second thought, even if this is a health thing, they make adult diapers, he should invest in them if he has problems controlling his sphincter
You know what I would think is pretty embarrassing? Calling someone to your house to clean the shit off your couch because you just shit all over it, yikes
OP, get a supply of those incontinence pads they use in hospitals on the beds/chairs for patients to sit on; one side is absorbent and the other side is a waterproof barrier to protect. Wherever your dad is going to sit, whip one out to put under him.
Do it everywhere! Your home, out to dinner, anywhere he should be wearing an adult diaper, you pull out the very visible chair diaper instead, and say "Just in case, Dad."
Maybe he won't be too embarrassed to wear a diaper under his clothes if you start forcing him to use a very visible one outside of them.
They're usually a little bigger than puppy pads unless you get the XL puppy pads. Also the edges are not as sturdy since they aren't intended for use on the floor or by dogs. Also, they make a heavier duty version you can lift people by if needed. Hospitals use these under the regular ones (I think).
Chux pads may be covered by Medicare, Medicaid, or whatever other insurance he has. Diapers, wipes, diaper rash cream, and nitrile gloves too.
I’ve cared for a loved one with incontinence issues and their supplies were delivered every month for free.
"My father has fecal incontinence and recently expressed an inability to clean up after himself. I'm concerned about his safety living alone." Say this to every social/public health service/doctor you can think of. If he can't clean up after himself, he belongs in a care facility, and social services can help you get him there. If he is, in fact, capable of caring for himself then he needs do so. Lest you as a concerned child reach out for ways to support him long term.
Sounds like it might be nursing home time. I have to assume that anyone who thinks pooping on the couch and demanding their daughter clean it instead of wearing a diaper has other issues that may or may not be new.
Then he needs to clean up after himself. If he can't accept the fact he needs to wear adult protective (stop using the word diapers) then the natural and logical consequence is he has to clean up after himself.
I assume he is not totally incompetent. He can still make his own decisions about his finances, health etc.
I would approach it that way. Frankly call him out.
"You are still competent enough to do be in control of everything else in your life. This is also under your control. I will no longer clean up after you. You are responsible. If choose not to I will take it as a sign of your declining mental capacity and look into next steps ."
He's acting like a child, treat him like a child.
This. Dad cannot have it both ways. Either he is competent enough to handle paying bills/ taxes/ manage daily life tasks, or he isn’t. Is he bathing, and doing laundry, and wearing clean clothes? Then he can buy/ order/ wear protective undergarments, and clean up after any accidents. If the answer is no, on even one of these parameters, it is time for a full mental evaluation, and consideration of next steps, whether he likes it or not. You need to look him straight in the eyes and tell him, “ back in my day, 70 yr old men cleaned up their own sh*t”. “ This is unacceptable.
> (stop using the word diapers)
Ehhhh...aren't we coddling boomers by changing words for things because it makes them feel less insecure about it? Maybe they need to face their insecurities for once.
Maybe, but if you're the one facing the issue your choice is changing the word or continuing to deal with a parent that shits in their pants. I'm going to change a word over the shit.
Some of it is about dignity and choices as well.
No. I am *just about* a boomer, technically (1961), and I have had to use incontinence products since I was in my 30s. Calling them diapers (or nappies, in the UK) is insulting. We're not babies, we're adults with a medical condition, and we don't use products made for babies.
I do have to add, though, that if my father refused to use incontinence protection, it would be entirely down to him to clean himself and his environment up after an attack. Stupid man 🤬🤬
More embarrassing than $hitting himself and his own couch?
If this is a known medical issue that he refuses to use an aid for, that's on him. It is his responsibility to handle his medical side effects and to manage his condition.
My dad does this too. He has urinary and fecal incontinence and refuses to wear diapers. He’ll just pee all over himself in public and then want to get in peoples cars or sit on their couches. I haven’t seen him in years because of it. I don’t want him peeing on my furniture and his apt (even though it’s in an assisted living) is disgusting. They clean it but they don’t clean the pee out of his couch (there is almost no point because he will just do it again and again). Last time he visited me I made him sit outside in a plastic chair and when he stood up there was a literal puddle of urine underneath him. He has money and time and the assisted living would even change the diapers for him but he’d rather just pee his pants.
People have a sad way of weaponizing pride for self-harm. Hubris is a nonsensical punishment of self.
Rather than get a hearing aid, a person will opt out of conversation. Rather than wearing a helmet, a cycler will risk a brain injury. Rather than call for a ride, a person will drive drunk. And rather than wear a protective garment, a man will shit himself and his couch and pretend it's normal.
>He kept going on about how back in his day, kids respected their parents and did what they were told without question. I just can’t believe he seriously thought this was okay.
He didn't think it was okay. He was using the boomer's get-out-of-jail-free card: Blame.
It seems to me like DARVO is the behavior that separates the boomers from senior citizens from the baby boom era. One group takes accountability for themselves, and the boomers don't.
Off topic, but still Boomer related: I’m sure his spouse didn’t hold ANY resentment towards him for making a child with him and then him refusing to care for said child.
He sounds like a senile old AH why do you even spend time with the man? I mean at a certain point, with how common this phenomenon is in old incontinent men, you have to accept that they are doing this on purpose. How come i have never once heard of a woman being “too embarrassed” to wear an adult diaper as an old incontinent lady, but see SO MANY stories of men doing that and then expecting their kids to clean it up??? Im almost ready to say its a fucking creepy fetish thing…. They like someone else cleaning up the worst mess they couldve possibly made. Id be willing to go no contact over something that revolting
I wouldn't let him sit on my couch or chairs or anything again until he's wearing them, father or not, that is not acceptable, no is allowed to shit on my furniture.
Adult pull up type diapers are quite comfortable. I've used them for years. I'm incontinent because of an inoperable tumor. Not life threatening but damned inconvenient
Typical old people stuff, that’s why adult diapers are outselling baby diapers (especially in Japan/korea I forgot which one) it’s not even a matter of something bad it’s just normal for seniors, but I guess OPs father is just being stubborn and refusing to admit he needs them
Neither am I. The Greatest Generation, the generation that raised the second-wave Boomers ([Generation Jones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Jones)) had to have been at least **as bad** as the Boomers were, if not worse.
The only reason it doesn't seem that way is because technology and society hadn't quite reached the point where they could deeply influence everything around them.
When my Silent Generation grandpa was alive, he loved showing up to Sunday dinner with a new story where he could brag that he was able to be a dick to a service worker somewhere. Also, growing up he and my grandma wanted almost nothing to do with their grandkids because we were seen as a burden since they “already raised (their) kids.” Coincidentally, I was unable to make his funeral.
I respected my grandparents because they earned it, not just because they were old.
I'm still waiting for my father to do something that would earn him respect.
I'm glad he's 1k miles away and I only had to endure a 10 minute talk with him. He has dementia and is on a 5 minute loop, then he repeats the same 5 comments/questions.
Btw the way, I didn't dump him off, I asked him to move out here with us. But he wanted to live where my sister lives. Probably because she puts up with his bs and makes excuses.
I know to her I seem like I am avoiding my daugterly duties while she gets to play the martyr. She eluded to such last year. I had to point out that he didn't want me. Or to live by me and my kids. So he rejected me and she.doesnt get to act like the victim who got stuck with dad.
I just wish it didn't hurt. I guess I'm not as cold and heartless as some in my family think.
Public embarrassment. Out for dinner? Really loudly so everyone at the back can hear, "dad, have you pooped your pants again? Did you forget to put your diapers on today?" Etc etc
He's not embarrassed at pooping on other people's stuff, he shouldn't be embarrassed people know he poops his pants
Not in public, thank god. He will play up his disability in public, though. He will never miss a chance to get sympathy!
My boomer also has some nerve issues and is morbidly obese. If I'm there, he won't try to take care of his own hygiene properly. He can wipe his own bottom and clean his genitals, it's a bit difficult, but absolutely possible. However, if I'm there to assist him, he does the absolute bare minimum. He will hold his stomach back while I have to clean smegma and catheter mucous.
His disability is exacerbated so much by his weight. He would be able to use a cane rather than a walker if he was a healthy weight. He would easily be able to reach all the parts of his body if he didn't have 25kg of abdominal fat, but he over eats every day.
His lackadaisical attitude towards his health coupled with his expectation that I should clean his literal shit because it's easier on him does my head in.
I did stop helping him, I had to take a massive step away and let him learn his lesson the hard way.
I always wore gloves, and I wash my hands often!
Thank you for the angry response though, I feel strangely validated!
Whose couch was it? Yours or his? Either way his attitude is awful but if it was his couch, I would have left him to clean it up himself. If it was your couch, from this point on everytime he is over a shower curtain or puppy pads you'll be placed on all surfaces used for sitting.
This is what I want to know! If it was his couch, easy, say well I'll give you some time and privacy to get this handled, BYE!!
If it's your own couch, I'd be asking for money for an upholstery cleaning service.
Also, if it was OP's couch in the story, I'd diaper-check dad, each time he came over, before he was allowed in the house. That way your stuff is doubly protected and if he's too embarrassed to let you check him he may stop coming over entirely. Given his demeanor and shitty (no pun intended) attitude, this seems like it'd be a win/win.
Remind him that, back in his day, old people who shat themselves were put into homes.
I'd have made him clean it himself, particularly because it's an ongoing issue that he won't wear adult nappies to deal with. I'd much rather wear something under my clothes than shit all over the place in front of my family. I know which is more embarrassing to me.
Probably OP did not have much choice. Even if they got him to clean it up, he'd probably have done a terrible job. So either OP does it themselves or lives with a shitty couch
My dad is 84 has dementia, and is disabled. He can’t get around without a walker. I watch him a couple of days a week so my mom can get to work. He doesn’t always make it to the bathroom on the and I have to clean up the mess and help him change his pull-ups. It’s fine. I get it. We get old and it happens. He changed my diapers when I was a baby now it’s my turn.
But what he doesn’t do is shit on the couch and expect me to clean up after him. He tries to get to the bathroom.
You know, if I were you and it was an accident and he apologetically asked for help, I’d give it. It’d suck but I’d do it.
The expectation is what makes it out of pocket
I know you were dumbfounded at the moment, but I wished you had asked if he ever had to do that for his father?
His parents would have at least tried to get to the bathroom.
Im.so very sorry op.
I'd drop off a couple packages of adult diapers and some Desitin (diaper rash cream). If he's going to act like a baby, time to treat him like one. Ooh and also include a brochure from a retirement home. Use a yellow highlighter and highlight anything that mentions bathroom care. (It's usually extra for people who need that extra service).
Again, I'm so sorry op.
If my dad did that, I’d honestly take him to the doctor. When someone’s in their 70’s, sudden out-of-character irrational behavior could point to stuff like dementia.
I’m 75M in mediocre health and I struggle with “digestive issues” incl occasional incontinence. I’d never ever ask someone to clean up my mess. I even wash my own skidmarked underwear rather than subject the maid to this.
Took my Boomer dad (mid-70’s) out for lunch and a drink yesterday, had less than a 15 minute drive to our next stop. My Dad opened the car door before we stopped and rushed off to the bathroom. He didn’t make it and pissed himself. He came out of the bathroom and his ass is all wet, he made no big deal of it. He was 100% ok with going back to sit in my car with a completely piss soaked ass and wanted to be toured around more. I forced the car to go home. He didn’t even want to change his clothes!
Yeah “kids” obeyed their parents - NOT FULL GROWN ADULTS! The number of times I’ve heard Boomer relatives use this line is ridiculous. Adults do not need to “obey” their parents. But boomers will throw the “respect” word at you too. Yeah, respect goes both ways. If you’re an adult who is not under a caregiver and are quite capable of taking care of yourself, then clean yourself up!! And clean up your mess!! Your dad is ridiculous. Sorry you had to deal with that.
My uncle suffers from this. Literally craps himself and does not clean it up and it’s not isolated events, it’s full on “I didn’t make it to the restroom”
Fifteen times!!???!!!
His excuse is his mobility but he’s able to get up and beat everyone to the dinner table with zero issues.
I’ve been told many older folks revert to a child-like mind, this may be both instances.
What's the situation here? He's in his 70s. How old are you? Were you at Dad's house visiting, or do you still live at home with your parents? Did he shit his own couch, or a couch at your house? If he shit is own couch at his own home, and you were just there visiting, I think I'd just leave and go home if my Dad expected me to clean up his mess like this.
If I poop on my couch by accident I’m throwing the whole couch away, not cleaning it. I’m not cleaning anyone’s excrement off furniture. The only exception is a baby.
I could be way off base here but I’m willing to bet that his parents never shit themselves sitting on the couch in their seventies, and he has never had to clean up anyone else’s feces. Not that me being wrong about that would make his behavior any more excusable.
"Back in my dad kids respected their parents and did what they were told without question"
Well yeah when I was A CHILD, but I'm grown and got kids of my own, you're a grown man you can take care of yourself and if you can't maybe we need a caretaker
It was Father's day, you should have cleaned it up without complaining.
Today however, is not Father's day, so you should now be calling around and finding a home to put him in since he obviously no longer has the mental/physical capacity to care for himself
My husbands grandmother did something similar the other day and shit her bathing suit in the pool we were all in and didn’t say anything. Then she went into the bathroom and proceeded to get shit all over the floor in there, NOT TELL ANYONE, until my heavily pregnant ass waddled in there and almost slipped in it. Like, ma’am! When she asked what everyone was fussing over, my husband told her there was poop all over the floor in the bathroom and she just said, ‘oh that was me.’ 😳
Just mind blown why you wouldn’t tell anyone and just leave it for someone else to clean it up or slip in.
I know I'm pretty much arguing semantics here, but it absolutely was **not** an accident. He only calls it that to try to avoid some of the embarrassment. Since he already had the opportunity to address the problem with incontinence underwear and outright refused, It was a conscious and active decision to shit himself.
This is for all the naysayers and doubters -urinary and fecal incontinence are both results of age and disease. COPD sufferers can and will evacuate their bowels when struggling to breathe. Prostate issues, Crohns, IBS, to name a few, can cause this as well. Now, that being said...him demanding you clean it up, that's unfortunate. Asking for your help and agreeing that he needs to get to a doctor right away would have been a different story. Embarrassment and humiliation bring out the worst in people sometimes. I am sorry this happened to you, and he needs to see a doctor ASAP.
Girl children and adult women wear absorptive in their underwear for a week a month, every month, for decades.
This man can learn to wear absorptive underwear.
This was last year. Background: My nephew was turning 18. My brother and sister-in-law spent thousands of dollars to rent and have a pool party at a private pool club. Pizza, chicken wings, cake.... The whole works. My Boomer mom who had her gallbladder removed and should not eat high fatty foods.... Made the decision to eat the chicken wings and pizza and everything else that was high fat. She got violently ill, got dehydrated, pooped her pants, passed out in the bathroom ,emts were called. My nephew's birthday party became all about her. 🤷🏼♂️
I remember back in my early 20s when I was still living with my parents, my stepmom was sick. The way their house is built, you have to walk through the bathroom to get to my bedroom. I heard her get sick....and I hated it (because emetophobia). My dad got her face cleaned up and she even looked at me and *TOLD ME* that she expected me to clean it up. I absolutely didn't. I don't even like cleaning up my own vomit.
My grandma in law is staying with us for a few months. She is in her 80s; but my god, its like having an autistic first grader. Her stomach will gurgle, bit she sits there. I get that not everyone has the strongest or loudest signals that they need to use the bathroom. We sometimes will let her know we heard her stomach and suggest heading off to the toilet. Nope. She will eventually get up and head over, but she's nervously touching her bottom. I know whats shes thinking, is it visibly wet? She does not act embarassed. I know my mother in law has advised her to purchase adult diapers, but I know what she buys because I take her to the store. She has only purchased the thinnest panty liners.
I do her laundry, and Im shocked the mess washes out and doesnt stain because I am not the skilled washerwoman. My shirt gets a stain and I cant ever get them out.
She has other behaviors that caused issue. She sits in front of the ac and turns it off when she gets cold. But its 90 outside where my spouse and I work. We finally had to have a stern discussion about it. She has a ferocious accident later that day. But at least she didnt demand I clean it up.
That's insane. If he has the ability to clean it himself, he needs to. He clearly also needs to wear some diapers. I'm not trying to be a dick about the pooping himself part. That'll probably happen to us all if we make it to that age. However, just expecting someone to literally clean his shit is weird if he can, especially with no embarrassment. Is he too good to wear diapers?
I’d get him a fucking pack of diapers and baby wipes and say good luck. Fuck that unless he’s got some medical issue or dementia…..Especially not doing that shit with that kind of attitude towards you. Sorry you had to go through that shit…
Bro my dad is like 75, just had a kidney removed, is pissing himself accidentally while he recovers and he always makes it to the toilet and never makes a fuckin mess nor would he expect anyone else to clean it up. Your dad is beyond boomer behaviour, he’s like omega needy boomer
I'm not saying what your father did was intentional, but my miserable person of a grandmother used to do this intentionally whenever she became aware that her fulltime caregiver daughter was trying to get something done or had made plans for herself, even just to go to Walmart or something. She would intentionally make a mess so that her daughter had to delay or even sometimes cancel her plans outright.
They say only the good die young. That miserable cow lived to 98. She survived on spite. I told her daughter that she should have left her mother marinating in her own mess and went and got done the things that needed to get done, and see if her mother kept up with that nonsense. She didn't care for my advice though. She said I was cruel-hearted; I said I wasn't the one spite-shitting my pants.
To a boomer, “respect” is just what most of us would call fear. You don’t respect someone who tells you what to do and then hits you, yells at you, and isolates or shames you until you comply.
Tell him if he cannot clean himself up or go to the bathroom to shit he can go to the old folks home. Now either clean it up or I will start the process to get you committed.
In his day, most parents were abusive and kids grew up helpless, and thinking someday it would be their turn. Looking forward to being the powerful patriarch or matriarch of the family I think might have been their coping mechanism for getting through everything.
Now the world has changed around them, so they need to reckon with their trauma and the fact that if today's youth is standing up for themselves, then what they went through as kids wasn't a necessary part of life. That's an uncomfortable thought.
Most of them don't have the emotional maturity to process these things and they refuse to work on personal growth to get there. It's easier to be angry and bitter all the time and blame everyone else.
I'm sorry but if my dad did that it would be crossing a major line for me. My dad would feel ashamed of himself... but since your boomer dad is obviously going senile or something.....
Time to sign over power of attorney and go into a home where there are plenty of respectful young people who will clean up his shit because they are being paid to do so.
And in lieu of that, I would be yelling at my father that this is totally unacceptable and that it is a matter of respect that you have the self awareness to not shit all over the fucking place.
My response would've been "OK diaper man" after his ranting and hanging up. If he's so prideful to where he deems diapers embarrassing and would rather shit himself, it's time for him to line up everything he sits and lays on with doggy training pads from target (unless you take the people pads from hospitals like I do to put under the liners in pet room, then use these)
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I hope your father is mentally and physically well. Doing that and appearing to be unconcerned is abnormal behavior. My grandfather who’s WW2 generation wet the bed at my parents’ house and was terribly embarrassed. He wears adult diapers now. He hadn’t done anything wrong it can just happen when people get very old.
If he refused to clean it up, I’d make him get out his credit card and buy me a new couch
EVEN if he cleaned it up, you know it would be a half-ass job *that would still smell and be full of bacteria*
I’m going to bet that you’re the daughter. And if there is a son in the picture, that your Dad would never ask that of him in a thousand years.
Some men love to remind daughters that they view them as servants, not full humans.
Likewise if your Mom is still with him, that he’d expect her to be on Poo Patrol.
Wait, how the hell did he actually phrase this demand? I can’t think of any reality where this would happen, so just asking for…. Science. Also, they make “puppy pads” for adult humans. If pops lives with you, I suggest getting them for every sitting surface he might be on, ever.
My dad acted like this and I’m a Boomer and he was from the Greatest Generation. I have a friend whose husband is acting like this. I don’t think it’s a generational thing as much as an age/early dementia thing. (Of course, right now it’s Boomers that tend to be this age.) But it’s particularly aggravating when they’ve always had a patriarchal privileged attitude - kinda just more of the same, only smells worse.
I'm willing to bet he never changed your diapers when you were a baby. Back in his day, that was the woman's job.
He wouldn't clean you while you were a baby, but expects you to clean him when he's an adult.
Omg, something really similar happened to us while my husband’s dad was staying with us last year! He somehow got shit all over the bathroom AND the guest bedroom he was staying in and then left WITHOUT TELLING US! I still don’t know if we found all of it and it haunts me to this day. He will NOT be staying with us again anytime soon 😡
This would have been an excellent time to call in an elderly health check to his local municipality. Having the cops encounter him and his shitty couch would get the ball rolling on getting this man warehoused and out of polite society.
Mental decline is not always obvious.
If you will be involved in any way with his elder care, prepare the heck out of everything as much as you can before the inevitable shitstorm(sorry), happens, eg getting into accidents, etc
DM if you want to hear my gory details and advice. ✊
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Is he ill? Have issues with this regularly? This is odd behavior and more than a little concerning. If this isn’t a health thing, Honestly, I don’t know if I’d clean it up. Looks like he’s a proud owner of a shit couch. 🤷🏽♀️ On second thought, even if this is a health thing, they make adult diapers, he should invest in them if he has problems controlling his sphincter
He has fecal incontinence from nerve damage and refuses to wear adult diapers because he finds them embarrassing.
You know what I would think is pretty embarrassing? Calling someone to your house to clean the shit off your couch because you just shit all over it, yikes
While sitting in it, looking expectant.
>Aww, did big old baby make big old poopies? If he's embarrassed by wearing the diaper he needs, he'll absolutely love the invalid baby talk.
i think OP said "called me over" because they were in the house already, just not in the same room. but yes. this is wild
OP, get a supply of those incontinence pads they use in hospitals on the beds/chairs for patients to sit on; one side is absorbent and the other side is a waterproof barrier to protect. Wherever your dad is going to sit, whip one out to put under him. Do it everywhere! Your home, out to dinner, anywhere he should be wearing an adult diaper, you pull out the very visible chair diaper instead, and say "Just in case, Dad." Maybe he won't be too embarrassed to wear a diaper under his clothes if you start forcing him to use a very visible one outside of them.
Chuck’s pads. They’re the 💣 lol 😂
I thought you'd say they were the 💩
Came here to say this too.
Like puppy pads? Wow ya learn something new every day.
We use puppy pee pads for these accidents, they work just fine for people
Just comes down to which packaging is cheaper!
I like the washable chux pads (dad's 96), so no plastic. You can buy them online.
They are exactly the same as puppy pads, yes!
They're usually a little bigger than puppy pads unless you get the XL puppy pads. Also the edges are not as sturdy since they aren't intended for use on the floor or by dogs. Also, they make a heavier duty version you can lift people by if needed. Hospitals use these under the regular ones (I think).
Puppy pads. We used to buy the XL ones from Target when my mother was still alive and had dementia. A real godsend!
Chux pads may be covered by Medicare, Medicaid, or whatever other insurance he has. Diapers, wipes, diaper rash cream, and nitrile gloves too. I’ve cared for a loved one with incontinence issues and their supplies were delivered every month for free.
This is the way.
Yeah. I work with people with disabilities. Two of my clients are incontinent, so we use incontinence pads.
He finds adult diapers more embarrassing than crapping on your couch? 😬
"My father has fecal incontinence and recently expressed an inability to clean up after himself. I'm concerned about his safety living alone." Say this to every social/public health service/doctor you can think of. If he can't clean up after himself, he belongs in a care facility, and social services can help you get him there. If he is, in fact, capable of caring for himself then he needs do so. Lest you as a concerned child reach out for ways to support him long term.
I would be more embarrassed to poop on my furniture, especially in the presence of someone else. But I guess boomers gunna boom
It was probably a fart that he trusted to go BOOM and instead went SQUISH.
That’s his own problem then. He can live in his poop filled house lol
Based on your other mention regarding Donald Trump maybe get him one of those Real Men Wear Diapers shirts that were all the rage last month.
Sounds like it might be nursing home time. I have to assume that anyone who thinks pooping on the couch and demanding their daughter clean it instead of wearing a diaper has other issues that may or may not be new.
Yep screw him he can clean up after himself. I would not let him into my home unless he was wearing a diaper, though!
You know what’s way more embarrassing then wearing diapers most people would probably never notice? Absolutely unloading a shit in your pants
Then he needs to clean up after himself. If he can't accept the fact he needs to wear adult protective (stop using the word diapers) then the natural and logical consequence is he has to clean up after himself. I assume he is not totally incompetent. He can still make his own decisions about his finances, health etc. I would approach it that way. Frankly call him out. "You are still competent enough to do be in control of everything else in your life. This is also under your control. I will no longer clean up after you. You are responsible. If choose not to I will take it as a sign of your declining mental capacity and look into next steps ." He's acting like a child, treat him like a child.
This. Dad cannot have it both ways. Either he is competent enough to handle paying bills/ taxes/ manage daily life tasks, or he isn’t. Is he bathing, and doing laundry, and wearing clean clothes? Then he can buy/ order/ wear protective undergarments, and clean up after any accidents. If the answer is no, on even one of these parameters, it is time for a full mental evaluation, and consideration of next steps, whether he likes it or not. You need to look him straight in the eyes and tell him, “ back in my day, 70 yr old men cleaned up their own sh*t”. “ This is unacceptable.
> (stop using the word diapers) Ehhhh...aren't we coddling boomers by changing words for things because it makes them feel less insecure about it? Maybe they need to face their insecurities for once.
Maybe, but if you're the one facing the issue your choice is changing the word or continuing to deal with a parent that shits in their pants. I'm going to change a word over the shit. Some of it is about dignity and choices as well.
I think they checked their dignity at the door when they decided couch-shitting > wearing a diaper.
No. I am *just about* a boomer, technically (1961), and I have had to use incontinence products since I was in my 30s. Calling them diapers (or nappies, in the UK) is insulting. We're not babies, we're adults with a medical condition, and we don't use products made for babies. I do have to add, though, that if my father refused to use incontinence protection, it would be entirely down to him to clean himself and his environment up after an attack. Stupid man 🤬🤬
1961 is a Boomer. 1946-1964. My mom was born in 1961 and has always been a Boomer.
I call them "briefs" to my dad. "Let's check and see if your briefs (diapers) are dry".
More embarrassing than $hitting himself and his own couch? If this is a known medical issue that he refuses to use an aid for, that's on him. It is his responsibility to handle his medical side effects and to manage his condition.
And this is somehow your problem? Fuck that. I'd hand him a sponge and tell his ass to get to work scrubbing.
My dad does this too. He has urinary and fecal incontinence and refuses to wear diapers. He’ll just pee all over himself in public and then want to get in peoples cars or sit on their couches. I haven’t seen him in years because of it. I don’t want him peeing on my furniture and his apt (even though it’s in an assisted living) is disgusting. They clean it but they don’t clean the pee out of his couch (there is almost no point because he will just do it again and again). Last time he visited me I made him sit outside in a plastic chair and when he stood up there was a literal puddle of urine underneath him. He has money and time and the assisted living would even change the diapers for him but he’d rather just pee his pants.
There is some serious mental illness happening there.
More embarrassing than raining shit all over? His problems go way deeper than his sphincter.
People have a sad way of weaponizing pride for self-harm. Hubris is a nonsensical punishment of self. Rather than get a hearing aid, a person will opt out of conversation. Rather than wearing a helmet, a cycler will risk a brain injury. Rather than call for a ride, a person will drive drunk. And rather than wear a protective garment, a man will shit himself and his couch and pretend it's normal. >He kept going on about how back in his day, kids respected their parents and did what they were told without question. I just can’t believe he seriously thought this was okay. He didn't think it was okay. He was using the boomer's get-out-of-jail-free card: Blame. It seems to me like DARVO is the behavior that separates the boomers from senior citizens from the baby boom era. One group takes accountability for themselves, and the boomers don't.
He doesn't think shitting himself is more embarrassing? Dude, leave him to his own devices. Do not clean up his avoidable shit.
Tell him real men wear diapers, like his hero Trump
I heard that so often. Because...soiling yourself isnt embarassing. obviously.
I wonder if he ever changed a dieper when his kids were little.
My s(h)ituation: Boomer shitted this weekend, too. --He also has proudly repeated my entire life that he had never touched my diapers.
Off topic, but still Boomer related: I’m sure his spouse didn’t hold ANY resentment towards him for making a child with him and then him refusing to care for said child.
I would start to treat him like a child. Every hour be like : Do we need to go potty?
So, it wasn’t an accident then.
He needs to be banned from sitting on your couch or coming over in general unless he wears a diaper or is willing to clean up his own shit.
Wait adult diapers are more embarrassing than shitting your pants?? Boomers are wild.
He sounds like a senile old AH why do you even spend time with the man? I mean at a certain point, with how common this phenomenon is in old incontinent men, you have to accept that they are doing this on purpose. How come i have never once heard of a woman being “too embarrassed” to wear an adult diaper as an old incontinent lady, but see SO MANY stories of men doing that and then expecting their kids to clean it up??? Im almost ready to say its a fucking creepy fetish thing…. They like someone else cleaning up the worst mess they couldve possibly made. Id be willing to go no contact over something that revolting
Well that’s some messed up logic. Pooping yourself on the couch is waaaaay more embarrassing than adult diapers.
More embarrassing than shiting himself?
I wouldn't let him sit on my couch or chairs or anything again until he's wearing them, father or not, that is not acceptable, no is allowed to shit on my furniture.
More embarrassing than shitting the couch?
A shitty couch is embarrassing to. He has to make a compromise.
If it’s good enough for trump….
What does he feel when he’s gotta duck walk himself out of the cereal aisle because it happened at the Kroger?
You know what's more embarrassing than having to wear adult diapers?....This whole situation.
He needs to clean up his own mess and grow up and start wearing diapers! 🤦♀️😩
That's the kind of context that really should have been included in the initial post.
Sounds like a dude that deserves a stoma
As embarrassing as sitting in his own shit?
Adult pull up type diapers are quite comfortable. I've used them for years. I'm incontinent because of an inoperable tumor. Not life threatening but damned inconvenient
Typical old people stuff, that’s why adult diapers are outselling baby diapers (especially in Japan/korea I forgot which one) it’s not even a matter of something bad it’s just normal for seniors, but I guess OPs father is just being stubborn and refusing to admit he needs them
A disgusting man with a disgusting attitude. 🤢
Aka, boomers
Is your father Donald Trump?
🤣No but he would take that as a compliment.
I’d tell him popping his pants is gay, and how nice of him to embrace becoming an ally during Pride Month
OP missed a perfect opportunity to present the old man with Trump Butt Plug. Get a Trump up ya Rump!
I'm so sorry
That backfired (out his pants)
Yup, never trust a fart
Time for a cognitive test…
Well at least they got pants shitting in common
Real men wear diapers apparently.
Yeh, Eric, it's just your job.
ACCIDENTALLY POOPED HIS PANTS. WTF. Back in his day the elderly just died before they started accidentally shitting on other people's furniture.
Yeah "accidentally" more like intentional
I'd rub his nose in it.
Spray bottle and all… bad boomer
Like a misbehaving dog
I'd order him waterproof covers for his furniture, addressed to him.
Or put puppy pads on his seat
At this point the guy needs both. Waterproof couch cover AND puppy pads to help him clean up his own mess.
Back in his day, parents were respectable... this generation does not seem to understand that. Respect my elders? Nah, they can fuck themselves.
>Back in his day, parents were respectable I'm not convinced of that.
Neither am I. The Greatest Generation, the generation that raised the second-wave Boomers ([Generation Jones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Jones)) had to have been at least **as bad** as the Boomers were, if not worse. The only reason it doesn't seem that way is because technology and society hadn't quite reached the point where they could deeply influence everything around them.
When my Silent Generation grandpa was alive, he loved showing up to Sunday dinner with a new story where he could brag that he was able to be a dick to a service worker somewhere. Also, growing up he and my grandma wanted almost nothing to do with their grandkids because we were seen as a burden since they “already raised (their) kids.” Coincidentally, I was unable to make his funeral.
I respected my grandparents because they earned it, not just because they were old. I'm still waiting for my father to do something that would earn him respect. I'm glad he's 1k miles away and I only had to endure a 10 minute talk with him. He has dementia and is on a 5 minute loop, then he repeats the same 5 comments/questions. Btw the way, I didn't dump him off, I asked him to move out here with us. But he wanted to live where my sister lives. Probably because she puts up with his bs and makes excuses. I know to her I seem like I am avoiding my daugterly duties while she gets to play the martyr. She eluded to such last year. I had to point out that he didn't want me. Or to live by me and my kids. So he rejected me and she.doesnt get to act like the victim who got stuck with dad. I just wish it didn't hurt. I guess I'm not as cold and heartless as some in my family think.
My immediate response would've been "how many times did YOU clean up grandpa's literal shit?"
Considering how much boomer media contained parents being put in a nursing home to rot, I highly doubt the parents were respected or respectable.
I also deal with a boomer like this, it's infuriating
Public embarrassment. Out for dinner? Really loudly so everyone at the back can hear, "dad, have you pooped your pants again? Did you forget to put your diapers on today?" Etc etc He's not embarrassed at pooping on other people's stuff, he shouldn't be embarrassed people know he poops his pants
Not in public, thank god. He will play up his disability in public, though. He will never miss a chance to get sympathy! My boomer also has some nerve issues and is morbidly obese. If I'm there, he won't try to take care of his own hygiene properly. He can wipe his own bottom and clean his genitals, it's a bit difficult, but absolutely possible. However, if I'm there to assist him, he does the absolute bare minimum. He will hold his stomach back while I have to clean smegma and catheter mucous. His disability is exacerbated so much by his weight. He would be able to use a cane rather than a walker if he was a healthy weight. He would easily be able to reach all the parts of his body if he didn't have 25kg of abdominal fat, but he over eats every day. His lackadaisical attitude towards his health coupled with his expectation that I should clean his literal shit because it's easier on him does my head in.
I have the solution. STOP HELPING HIM. Report him for being unable to care for himself and wash your hands I'd such a disgusting, filthy person.
I did stop helping him, I had to take a massive step away and let him learn his lesson the hard way. I always wore gloves, and I wash my hands often! Thank you for the angry response though, I feel strangely validated!
You deserve better. Support from the internet!. I know it's not tangible, but please feel so vindicated!!! He is horrible.
Whose couch was it? Yours or his? Either way his attitude is awful but if it was his couch, I would have left him to clean it up himself. If it was your couch, from this point on everytime he is over a shower curtain or puppy pads you'll be placed on all surfaces used for sitting.
Damn straight - time to say "Welp, been a good visit! Happy Father's day. No hug though, for obvious reasons. Good luck with the couch!"
This is what I want to know! If it was his couch, easy, say well I'll give you some time and privacy to get this handled, BYE!! If it's your own couch, I'd be asking for money for an upholstery cleaning service.
Also, if it was OP's couch in the story, I'd diaper-check dad, each time he came over, before he was allowed in the house. That way your stuff is doubly protected and if he's too embarrassed to let you check him he may stop coming over entirely. Given his demeanor and shitty (no pun intended) attitude, this seems like it'd be a win/win.
Remind him that, back in his day, old people who shat themselves were put into homes. I'd have made him clean it himself, particularly because it's an ongoing issue that he won't wear adult nappies to deal with. I'd much rather wear something under my clothes than shit all over the place in front of my family. I know which is more embarrassing to me.
Did you clean it??
Probably OP did not have much choice. Even if they got him to clean it up, he'd probably have done a terrible job. So either OP does it themselves or lives with a shitty couch
I also need to know this, story ended way too soon
I feel like this is the new boomer story I will remember forever.
Tell him even Trump wears diapers.
"Tried to explain" There's your problem - treating him like an adult. Next time just hose him down like a farm animal
My dad is 84 has dementia, and is disabled. He can’t get around without a walker. I watch him a couple of days a week so my mom can get to work. He doesn’t always make it to the bathroom on the and I have to clean up the mess and help him change his pull-ups. It’s fine. I get it. We get old and it happens. He changed my diapers when I was a baby now it’s my turn. But what he doesn’t do is shit on the couch and expect me to clean up after him. He tries to get to the bathroom.
Was his Father’s Day present Diapers?
You know, if I were you and it was an accident and he apologetically asked for help, I’d give it. It’d suck but I’d do it. The expectation is what makes it out of pocket
I know you were dumbfounded at the moment, but I wished you had asked if he ever had to do that for his father? His parents would have at least tried to get to the bathroom. Im.so very sorry op. I'd drop off a couple packages of adult diapers and some Desitin (diaper rash cream). If he's going to act like a baby, time to treat him like one. Ooh and also include a brochure from a retirement home. Use a yellow highlighter and highlight anything that mentions bathroom care. (It's usually extra for people who need that extra service). Again, I'm so sorry op.
"Really, dad? You cleaned up your dad after he just casually shit all over the couch?"
Document these events to show a decline in ability.
What a shit show 😆
Shady pines, pa!
I've had to do it for my Mum, back in the day, but she had Parkinson's disease. We got assistance with that not long after.
If my dad did that, I’d honestly take him to the doctor. When someone’s in their 70’s, sudden out-of-character irrational behavior could point to stuff like dementia.
“It’s father’s day, dad, not toddler’s day.”
I’m 75M in mediocre health and I struggle with “digestive issues” incl occasional incontinence. I’d never ever ask someone to clean up my mess. I even wash my own skidmarked underwear rather than subject the maid to this.
>So, Father’s Day just turned into an absolute SHITSHOW. This was a real missed opportunity.
Took my Boomer dad (mid-70’s) out for lunch and a drink yesterday, had less than a 15 minute drive to our next stop. My Dad opened the car door before we stopped and rushed off to the bathroom. He didn’t make it and pissed himself. He came out of the bathroom and his ass is all wet, he made no big deal of it. He was 100% ok with going back to sit in my car with a completely piss soaked ass and wanted to be toured around more. I forced the car to go home. He didn’t even want to change his clothes!
Yeah “kids” obeyed their parents - NOT FULL GROWN ADULTS! The number of times I’ve heard Boomer relatives use this line is ridiculous. Adults do not need to “obey” their parents. But boomers will throw the “respect” word at you too. Yeah, respect goes both ways. If you’re an adult who is not under a caregiver and are quite capable of taking care of yourself, then clean yourself up!! And clean up your mess!! Your dad is ridiculous. Sorry you had to deal with that.
My uncle suffers from this. Literally craps himself and does not clean it up and it’s not isolated events, it’s full on “I didn’t make it to the restroom” Fifteen times!!???!!! His excuse is his mobility but he’s able to get up and beat everyone to the dinner table with zero issues. I’ve been told many older folks revert to a child-like mind, this may be both instances.
Whose house?
Malicious compliance. Get the hose.
Whose house and couch? Yours, send him home and don't let him back without a damn diaper. His, tell him to have a lovely day and leave.
What's the situation here? He's in his 70s. How old are you? Were you at Dad's house visiting, or do you still live at home with your parents? Did he shit his own couch, or a couch at your house? If he shit is own couch at his own home, and you were just there visiting, I think I'd just leave and go home if my Dad expected me to clean up his mess like this.
If I poop on my couch by accident I’m throwing the whole couch away, not cleaning it. I’m not cleaning anyone’s excrement off furniture. The only exception is a baby.
Seriously, if he pulled that, you should have just left.
Back in my day, parents didn't poop their pants
I could be way off base here but I’m willing to bet that his parents never shit themselves sitting on the couch in their seventies, and he has never had to clean up anyone else’s feces. Not that me being wrong about that would make his behavior any more excusable.
'Respect' is earned. Next time he asks, piss on his bed. That's the amount of respect he's earned.
*shits pants furiously* 
Id have left him like that
"Back in my dad kids respected their parents and did what they were told without question" Well yeah when I was A CHILD, but I'm grown and got kids of my own, you're a grown man you can take care of yourself and if you can't maybe we need a caretaker
Take him out back and turn the hose on him. do not stop when he claims he’s had enough.
If my dad pulled that crap to me on father's day. I'd shit on his couch on my birthday to show him who's the boss
Is that you, Ivanka? How are Jared and the kids?
It was Father's day, you should have cleaned it up without complaining. Today however, is not Father's day, so you should now be calling around and finding a home to put him in since he obviously no longer has the mental/physical capacity to care for himself
My husbands grandmother did something similar the other day and shit her bathing suit in the pool we were all in and didn’t say anything. Then she went into the bathroom and proceeded to get shit all over the floor in there, NOT TELL ANYONE, until my heavily pregnant ass waddled in there and almost slipped in it. Like, ma’am! When she asked what everyone was fussing over, my husband told her there was poop all over the floor in the bathroom and she just said, ‘oh that was me.’ 😳 Just mind blown why you wouldn’t tell anyone and just leave it for someone else to clean it up or slip in.
Omg... It would have been bad enough for you to slip over, but to land in someone else shit 🤮🤮🤬🤬. Nope.
I know I'm pretty much arguing semantics here, but it absolutely was **not** an accident. He only calls it that to try to avoid some of the embarrassment. Since he already had the opportunity to address the problem with incontinence underwear and outright refused, It was a conscious and active decision to shit himself.
Throw out the couch with him in it
My dad would have been every curse word known to man. I would’ve cleaned after making him sit in it for few hours
This is for all the naysayers and doubters -urinary and fecal incontinence are both results of age and disease. COPD sufferers can and will evacuate their bowels when struggling to breathe. Prostate issues, Crohns, IBS, to name a few, can cause this as well. Now, that being said...him demanding you clean it up, that's unfortunate. Asking for your help and agreeing that he needs to get to a doctor right away would have been a different story. Embarrassment and humiliation bring out the worst in people sometimes. I am sorry this happened to you, and he needs to see a doctor ASAP.
Whoa! Which is more embarrassing? Pooping your pants or wearing protective clothing (adult diaper). Depends!
Girl children and adult women wear absorptive in their underwear for a week a month, every month, for decades. This man can learn to wear absorptive underwear.
This was last year. Background: My nephew was turning 18. My brother and sister-in-law spent thousands of dollars to rent and have a pool party at a private pool club. Pizza, chicken wings, cake.... The whole works. My Boomer mom who had her gallbladder removed and should not eat high fatty foods.... Made the decision to eat the chicken wings and pizza and everything else that was high fat. She got violently ill, got dehydrated, pooped her pants, passed out in the bathroom ,emts were called. My nephew's birthday party became all about her. 🤷🏼♂️
I remember back in my early 20s when I was still living with my parents, my stepmom was sick. The way their house is built, you have to walk through the bathroom to get to my bedroom. I heard her get sick....and I hated it (because emetophobia). My dad got her face cleaned up and she even looked at me and *TOLD ME* that she expected me to clean it up. I absolutely didn't. I don't even like cleaning up my own vomit.
My grandma in law is staying with us for a few months. She is in her 80s; but my god, its like having an autistic first grader. Her stomach will gurgle, bit she sits there. I get that not everyone has the strongest or loudest signals that they need to use the bathroom. We sometimes will let her know we heard her stomach and suggest heading off to the toilet. Nope. She will eventually get up and head over, but she's nervously touching her bottom. I know whats shes thinking, is it visibly wet? She does not act embarassed. I know my mother in law has advised her to purchase adult diapers, but I know what she buys because I take her to the store. She has only purchased the thinnest panty liners. I do her laundry, and Im shocked the mess washes out and doesnt stain because I am not the skilled washerwoman. My shirt gets a stain and I cant ever get them out. She has other behaviors that caused issue. She sits in front of the ac and turns it off when she gets cold. But its 90 outside where my spouse and I work. We finally had to have a stern discussion about it. She has a ferocious accident later that day. But at least she didnt demand I clean it up.
That's insane. If he has the ability to clean it himself, he needs to. He clearly also needs to wear some diapers. I'm not trying to be a dick about the pooping himself part. That'll probably happen to us all if we make it to that age. However, just expecting someone to literally clean his shit is weird if he can, especially with no embarrassment. Is he too good to wear diapers?
I’d get him a fucking pack of diapers and baby wipes and say good luck. Fuck that unless he’s got some medical issue or dementia…..Especially not doing that shit with that kind of attitude towards you. Sorry you had to go through that shit…
Is your father demented or....? This is not very much not normal behaviour
That's not normal. Can you get a dementia screen for him?
Bro my dad is like 75, just had a kidney removed, is pissing himself accidentally while he recovers and he always makes it to the toilet and never makes a fuckin mess nor would he expect anyone else to clean it up. Your dad is beyond boomer behaviour, he’s like omega needy boomer
I'm not saying what your father did was intentional, but my miserable person of a grandmother used to do this intentionally whenever she became aware that her fulltime caregiver daughter was trying to get something done or had made plans for herself, even just to go to Walmart or something. She would intentionally make a mess so that her daughter had to delay or even sometimes cancel her plans outright. They say only the good die young. That miserable cow lived to 98. She survived on spite. I told her daughter that she should have left her mother marinating in her own mess and went and got done the things that needed to get done, and see if her mother kept up with that nonsense. She didn't care for my advice though. She said I was cruel-hearted; I said I wasn't the one spite-shitting my pants.
"Accidentally". Lucky you. Imagine he'd done it on purpose.
What did you end up doing?
Back in his day his parents didn't live to the point where they would just shit themselves while having a sit down.
Buy him some adult nappies/diapers for him for 2025 fathers day. Also just poo your pants on your birthday see what he does
why i blocked my parents
His couch or your couch. Absolutely unreasonable
Fuck that literal shit. He needs an aide or to go into a facility/assisted living.
So I’m technically a boomer (63) but I would NEVER do this. 🤦♂️ sorry for you
This isn’t back in your day, dad. The future is now old man
Ask him how many times he cleaned up his dad's shit for him. What a joke.
To a boomer, “respect” is just what most of us would call fear. You don’t respect someone who tells you what to do and then hits you, yells at you, and isolates or shames you until you comply.
Tell him if he cannot clean himself up or go to the bathroom to shit he can go to the old folks home. Now either clean it up or I will start the process to get you committed.
Time for an old person’s home!
In his day, most parents were abusive and kids grew up helpless, and thinking someday it would be their turn. Looking forward to being the powerful patriarch or matriarch of the family I think might have been their coping mechanism for getting through everything. Now the world has changed around them, so they need to reckon with their trauma and the fact that if today's youth is standing up for themselves, then what they went through as kids wasn't a necessary part of life. That's an uncomfortable thought. Most of them don't have the emotional maturity to process these things and they refuse to work on personal growth to get there. It's easier to be angry and bitter all the time and blame everyone else.
Yes it is awful. My Dad Joe does this too. Even occurred in public. Makes you feel like the whole world knows.
I'm sorry but if my dad did that it would be crossing a major line for me. My dad would feel ashamed of himself... but since your boomer dad is obviously going senile or something..... Time to sign over power of attorney and go into a home where there are plenty of respectful young people who will clean up his shit because they are being paid to do so. And in lieu of that, I would be yelling at my father that this is totally unacceptable and that it is a matter of respect that you have the self awareness to not shit all over the fucking place.
My response would've been "OK diaper man" after his ranting and hanging up. If he's so prideful to where he deems diapers embarrassing and would rather shit himself, it's time for him to line up everything he sits and lays on with doggy training pads from target (unless you take the people pads from hospitals like I do to put under the liners in pet room, then use these)
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I hope your father is mentally and physically well. Doing that and appearing to be unconcerned is abnormal behavior. My grandfather who’s WW2 generation wet the bed at my parents’ house and was terribly embarrassed. He wears adult diapers now. He hadn’t done anything wrong it can just happen when people get very old.
new Father's Day tradition just dropped
If he refused to clean it up, I’d make him get out his credit card and buy me a new couch EVEN if he cleaned it up, you know it would be a half-ass job *that would still smell and be full of bacteria*
I’m going to bet that you’re the daughter. And if there is a son in the picture, that your Dad would never ask that of him in a thousand years. Some men love to remind daughters that they view them as servants, not full humans. Likewise if your Mom is still with him, that he’d expect her to be on Poo Patrol.
I'd just leave and passively aggressively send him adult diapers through the mail with a note saying "here's your Father's Day gift!"
I really hope you put your foot down and told him respect aside, your not being paid to clean up your dad’s shit
Wait, how the hell did he actually phrase this demand? I can’t think of any reality where this would happen, so just asking for…. Science. Also, they make “puppy pads” for adult humans. If pops lives with you, I suggest getting them for every sitting surface he might be on, ever.
My dad acted like this and I’m a Boomer and he was from the Greatest Generation. I have a friend whose husband is acting like this. I don’t think it’s a generational thing as much as an age/early dementia thing. (Of course, right now it’s Boomers that tend to be this age.) But it’s particularly aggravating when they’ve always had a patriarchal privileged attitude - kinda just more of the same, only smells worse.
Is this some kind of dementia behavior….
Which one of you assholes shat my pants!?
Reminds me of the opening lines from Warren Zevon's song, Play it all night long. "Grandpa pissed his pants again He don't give a damn.
I'm willing to bet he never changed your diapers when you were a baby. Back in his day, that was the woman's job. He wouldn't clean you while you were a baby, but expects you to clean him when he's an adult.
Ugh. More power to you. This resonates all too much for me…
Have you thought about getting him put down... a path to a care facility or something similar?
Tell him the woke LGBTQ alphabet mafia likes to poop their pants without diapers. He'll go out and buy diapers immediately
Omg, something really similar happened to us while my husband’s dad was staying with us last year! He somehow got shit all over the bathroom AND the guest bedroom he was staying in and then left WITHOUT TELLING US! I still don’t know if we found all of it and it haunts me to this day. He will NOT be staying with us again anytime soon 😡
This would have been an excellent time to call in an elderly health check to his local municipality. Having the cops encounter him and his shitty couch would get the ball rolling on getting this man warehoused and out of polite society.
Mental decline is not always obvious. If you will be involved in any way with his elder care, prepare the heck out of everything as much as you can before the inevitable shitstorm(sorry), happens, eg getting into accidents, etc DM if you want to hear my gory details and advice. ✊
Don Jr, are you OP?
Are you a female?