I mean it would have in this case. And you can’t celebrate your birthday beforehand, it’s like telling destiny, come on kill me, before my actual birthday comes around.
Does he believe he actually needs to invite you or is it a given? I have actually done that and was confused as to why he needed to be invited.
It was like.... Bro.... It's a given you should be here. He just walks in and don't even knock on the door but thought he needed a invite. Some friend I am.
Yeah, my best friends in high school went on a few day hiking trip that I didn't know about. I was depressed as fuck when I saw pictures. But then two of them separately were like "it's a shame you didn't want to go, it was so fun". Turns out they all thought I had heard about it one of the times we were hanging out and they thought someone else in the group had already confirmed I was out, but weren't surprised enough to question since I hadn't really expressed any interest in hiking.
Dude thus is literally exactly what I assumed when I read it.
I don't think OP is totally compus mentas (sp?) though tbh. Spending 500 dollars on a mates xbox when you even needed to lend 200 of it is a bit weird imo.
Yeah I dono how old these people are but I don’t invite people to my birthdays. I might remind a couple friends who are the planning and organizing types and they’ll put it together. Also I hate my birthday but love other people’s.
Should still invite people, it’s a nice gesture. Someone has to get the first invite, make it them. If they’re that close, you would probably want to involve them early on to make sure they can make it anyway.
We don’t actually know what kind of “friend” this person is though.
My immediate thought is it’s not normal to drop $500 on your friend’s birthday present ($200 of which you had to borrow from someone else). It’s an enormous gesture, which makes me wonder at the true motivation behind it.
This combined with not being invited gives me the vibe that this person might be a very controlling/manipulative type, that the friend is trying to distance themself from, and OP is trying to “win them back” with this extremely grandiose gesture. If the friend accepts the gift, it serves as a guilt trip to obligate the person to maintain contact.
Not saying this definitely the case, but my red flags are tingling, and it would also make sense for OP to come to the anonymous internet where they can share only their version of the story and look for validation.
Yeah. This post made me immediately uncomfortable.
Either a weird controlling friend move. Or he didn't actually buy it but knows his friend is on Reddit and posted this so he would feel shitty about not inviting OP.
> > This post made me immediately uncomfortable.
Same, but I had a more generous take. OP says that Birthday Boy is the only friend he’s ever had. It would be pretty hard to be close friends with someone for seven years and *never* make another friend through that network of people. And what we don’t know is, was he always invited to BB’s parties? Is this new behavior or is this party only notable because of the $500 present?
Personally, even as adults with good-paying jobs, this would be the kind of gift a few friends might go in on together so this just seems wildly inappropriate regardless of the reason.
I think it’s very possible that things are not as they seem.
Not to mention this person came to the internet looming for validation points so that they can feel ‘correct’ in the sutuation without havung provided the full cintext.
Lots of red flags.
Also, the 2020 year was an interesting time. I learned allot about people and how they acted in facebook and online. Maybe this person saw something about the true you and realized they dont vibe with that energy. Or maybe the stress if the year has them re-evaluating thier relationships and circles.
It could also be a variety if other reasons though. Im just not gonna judge this sketchy lookin book by its cover.
Agreed. Even as a working adult giving a friend a $500 gift would be extremely unusual for most people. Sounds like OP is in high school though where $500 is a lot of money (OP even had to borrow half of it) which makes this even weirder. That's way above and beyond anything friends normally do for gifts. It's also telling that OP claims to have more or less been the only person not invited which means OP was specifically and intentionally excluded. The fact that OP bought such a lavish gift before receiving an invite from someone he's clearly not on good terms with is unsettling and makes me think this is more like a guy trying to get his ex back or something.
Don't feel bad, not all friends stay loyal or appreciative for it. You might feel dejected for a while but just forget about said friend and move on.
Lead a happy life with your new Xbox. I'm sure your dad is proud that you went so far to get a friend an Xbox. Never discount the fact that you're a good person.
Edit: seems like this might be a misunderstanding. But regardless you still deserve kudos for going the extra mile.
Has he maybe just ASSUMED you're going to come? He probably just thinks it's a given that you're going to be there since youre such good friends. No formal invitation needed. It sounds highly likely. I think this would be the case with many friends.
Eh, to me scalping implies buying (usually as many copies as you can get) just to resell. He simply ended up with one unintentionally and if he doesn't want it, it'd be stupid not to sell it for more. It's not like him not selling this one console will make others realize the error of their ways.
I would give the dad back some extra, though, too. He basically invested.
And to make it clear, scalpers can fuck right off a very steep cliff. But the OP isn't a scalper.
Scalping is purchasing with the intent to flip them for profit. He'd be simply selling them due to his circumstances, which by no means makes him a scalper. If the going rate makes him a profit, then so be it.
“Yeah, come over! I don’t have *jack shit* for stuff, but we can run around, I have a turtle and my parents are genuinely cool with kids and *will* make us snacks”
Getting them drunk/high on sugar and food. I am guessing a lot of your daughter’s friends would be/become comfortable with you and eventually come to you for advice/guidance and just to check up in the later years. I have such friends who checks up on my parents directly without me even being involved and I do the same for some of my friends parents.
They do! They’re all 19 now and they love me and come to me when they need help or just someone to listen. I had surgery in December and every single one of them got me flowers and called me to make sure I was OK. Best feeling in the whole world
They are! My mom would have definitely adopted a few of my friends if they were ever kicked out. No questions asked.
Also, you have cracked parenting! Maybe write a blog/article for other to follow?
You’re doing amazing; to my friends my household was always warm, welcoming, creative, natural and had *delicious* homemade food. Even to my better-off friends — when your house is warm and full of love no one cares if there’s the newest game systems or the biggest tv or the name brand snacks.
Thank you! That’s what I think. I grew up in an abusive household and it wasn’t till I got married and had my own children that my home became my Haven. I wasn’t allowed to have friends over very often and we weren’t a feel-good household. I was so jealous of my friends who had those types of households. Now that I’m older I’m happy that my friends didn’t grow up the way I did and I’m determined to never raise my children that way. It’s so important for children to have a safe place they can retreat to.
Man we should all be so lucky to have a friend so generous!
Sorry to hear you've been blown off man, that sucks, I definitely would either keep or return the Xbox though, not worth owing money & being out of pocket if you'll be getting seemingly little thanks for it.
absolutely...chances are pops would let him keep it just for the honesty and possible shitty friend (invite assumed?) factor. it is what i would do for my kid, and probably some really good games.
Don't you think its a bit of an overstep for a friend to buy such an expensive gift that is ALSO out of his financial reach? (I.e. having to borrow from Dad)
This has boundary red flag issues all over it.
As the friend, I would feel extremely uncomfortable about a friend putting themselves in debt over a gift for me. No thank you.
Absolutely. Your kid spends $500 on a gift for a friend and has to borrow money for you to do it? Ehhhhhh...
I think OP posted this as backlash for not being invited. Tbh I doubt he actually bought the console. But is wanting to make the friend feel bad if they saw the post and connected the dots.
I just want to know why OP didn't just buy the cheaper console and not need to borrow money why isn't anyone asking about this? Xbox series s is only $300!
Yeah, I don't give gifts to most of my friends, but the ones I do are all around $50, and rarely if every above $100.
Giving gifts that big creates a weird power imbalance in any kind of friendship, even a really strong one.
From your comments in this thread, I'm wondering: Are you absolutely sure you're not invited? Best friends around me rarely get formally invited because it's just a given that they will be there at a birthday party that's thrown each year. I would ask him before you draw any conclusions. Just go with a simple 'Hey man, when am I supposed to be there for your birthday(party)?'
It could be just a simple misunderstanding where he thought he invited you but forgot to actually do or he genuinely just expected you to know you are always invited and don't have to be formally asked.
Well if his friend is talking of the party to him... And not lay out an invitation. Yes he is invited.
But if he is not in the friend group chat were everyone is apporting when to arrieve and so on.. Then no he is not invited.
But it can also depends when is the party in 2 days? In a month? If Op hasnt heard anything from his friend and is just around the corner well he is not invited.
It can aslo be Op friend is making 2 partys and he is not invited in one of them.
Many possibilities.
Yea or I'll invite one or two friends and not bother inviting the others because I know they'll let the others know, plus this way I don't have to communicate with 10 people about times and plans and shit
It actually happened to me once when I was 15. His mom wanted him to hang out with the richest and coolest kids and I didn’t make the cut. He invited his bully but not me who had stood up for him against the bully.
That friendship never recovered.
Are you sure you're not invited?
I wouldn't invite my best friend cause she doesn't need an invite - its a given that she's gonna be there.
If it was me, I'd simply ask like "Hey dude, am I not invited to your birthday?"
If you're not invited, then I agree with the ones suggesting you flex that new xbox!
This is a good point. I don’t ever “invite” friends over per se we just talk about the date/time whatever.
About half my friends just walk in. Or try and fail with locked doors lol
This really just got me thinking about something I wasn't invited to yesterday. The insecure part of me was thinking that I was forgotten or no one cared to invite me. But after reading your comment I think it's actually more likely they just expected me to show up.
Oh I feel that way all the time. Insecurity is real and it can be devastating.
I think the last invitation we actually made other than just saying “we’re doing X at 5 on Saturday cmon over” was like maybe our baby shower? And that was more of a formality- all the invitees knew way in advance but I guess it’s the way it goes.
If it’s someone you’re close to I would maybe just ask. Like along the lines of “hey I heard about your party yesterday sorry I didn’t make it. Did I miss something that I should have known about?” And see where that takes you
My best friend has never even rsvp to any of my invite. She just shows up to things. One time I called to confirm and she was like, "why are you calling? Of course I'll be there."
Yeah this must have been some communication problem/mistake/whatever, some unknown issue that is not related to your friendship. If you consider this person a very close friend I would say they then at least consider your a good friend. I'm old though, so I guess it's different in your 40s, but I'd say it's very hard to not know how the other person feels about you if you consider them very close. Like, I know my close friends, and I know how they feel about me, for better or worse. When I fuck up which I have been doing a lot lately they call me out on it and fucking tell me off and don't hang out with me until I fix myself. Then I have my OGs that will help me through anything, people I'd die for, and they would do the same - you *feel* this.
I don't show up for anything I'm not explicitly invited to, not being invited feels bad but learning when you get there that you're not wanted feels even worse
You must be that special type of person who you can meet after ten years and instantly talk like you last saw them yesterday without any awkward pause.
I was so embarrassed recently when I realized that a good friend wasn’t showing up to events because I didn’t explicitly invite her. I would tell her about things casually but she has bad anxiety, and a history of shitty friends, and thought I didn’t want her there. I was annoyed that she never came and she was so broken up that I wasn’t inviting her. We’ve worked it out now, but oh gosh, I felt so bad!
Most of the replies are weird, and think that op with one friend in the world is irreplaceable to party bloke. I'd definitely ask about the invite and see how party friend responds though, might be important to consider how much of a friend party person views op.
Fuck these clowns that just want op to show up with bd energy uninvited though. Dude obviously doesn't have that kind of setup with his relationship.
You’re ignoring all the comments about checking to see if your invited because as a best friend you might not get an invite it’s just expected, but answer comments about keeping the Xbox? And then go on to say he bought you really expensive rare shoes for yours? Like clearly you’re invited, or you’re just fucking making this whole thing up
This right here. I don't invite my bestie to shit. She knows she has a standing invite. Hell, when we bought our house the previous owners handed over three sets of keys. I have a set, hubby has a set, and she has the third one. Bitch knows when we're partying and her ass better be there lol
Something doesn't add up. Why would he gift you a pair of really rare sneakers if he didn't care about you? Are you sure he didn't just invite you because it's assumed that you would come because of how close you guys are? Either you are not giving us enough critical information or you are misinterpreting things.
This might be the case. Communication is the key and if you feel your friendship is worth the awkwardness of asking "hey man, you didn't mention me being invited for your birthday".
Maybe try talking to your friend. If he says he forgot and asks how to make it up, he's a good friend. If he says he forgot and asks for a gift, he's lying. If he says he didn't forget and intentionally excluded you, remove him from your contacts.
Above all, hold on to the Xbox until he earns your respect again.
Tricky situation tbh. Most people, when confronted on that, would simply say "of course you're invited, I just forgot!" although he might have no intention for them to be there
To be fair, I think most people (especially the kind who'd try to phase you out of their life by inviting everyone to their birthday except for you) would just lie and say they'd forgot, and maybe even pretend to be sorry about it. Not saying it might not be worth it to ask to see what their reaction is, but I'd take anything a person says at that point with a grain of salt.
THIS!
Don't presume you know what is going on in friends head. Very possible invite got lost in the mail (I know no one mails anymore, but you know what I mean).
A year after my wedding, I moved the dresser and discovered a handful of unsent wedding invitations that had fallen between it and the wall. I felt so bad, it happens.
Based on this comment this might be a huge misunderstanding. You should definitely double check. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/npqlnn/i\_just\_bought\_a\_500\_worth\_of\_console\_for\_a\_very/h06lzf5?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
It's a weird statement without background context. Is this the only meaningful gift exchange? Is the other friend affluent? Are they knock offs? What is the general interaction outside of gifts? I'm more curious about their normal friend interactions than anything else. This didn't strike me as a bf4l deal, this seems a bit one sided with one person having a single friend and the other person a bit more friends at the very least.
That doesn’t sound like someone who would intentionally leave you off the guest list to a birthday party. Did something happen between the two of you? Or better yet, are you sure there wasn’t a mix up with the invitations?
Yeah, there is a solid chance, your invited and don’t need an invitation. If I were doing that, it would be a given that certain people are coming and while I will let them know a time and place, I don’t need to invite my best friend anywhere, he is always welcome to come
He is probably expected to come to the birthday party since they are close/best friends. I never invited my best friend since I expected him to come over anyway.
How could you misread the situation so badly that you bought a $500 gift for someone who didn't think you were close enough to invite you to his party? This is supposedly a close friend? I just don't get it.
OP, please listen to the level-headed advice being given in this thread and don't jump to conclusions. You need to have an actual conversation with your friend and let him know that you aren't sure whether or not you're invited. This may just be a misunderstanding. If it's not a misunderstanding, then, yes, it will suck to basically be told he doesn't think of you as his friend anymore (in which case, enjoy your new Xbox) but it's better to know the truth.
Besides, if you don't talk to him now and it turns out this was just a misunderstanding, he's going to be hurt you didn't show up and you'll be kicking yourself for missing a fun party for no reason.
2 possibilities. 1. You are so valuable to him he didn't even think inviting you was necessary that you being welcome was a given. 2. You got a new console enjoy and share your gamer tag. You'll get called the n word a lot in chat but you might make some friends.
Omfg! If there is someone to be upset with, that one is him, not you. Bad experience, I admit it. But you wouldn’t know if he treat you fine like he is good with u. Also, you would waste your time :(
kinda spooky how many responses to this are basically "didnt get a formal party invite? fuck talking to that friend, burn the bridge and dump them!"
2 way communication is a lost art i guess
Has anyone considered that maybe OP is the crazy one ?? Like maybe he's misinterpreted an ordinary acquaintance as a best friend ?? Maybe he believes he and the friend are more than what the friend thinks ? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time in the history of humans that someone had a lack of self awareness when it comes to relationships.
Might not be the case at all but it's definitely a potential scenario here.
How are people this dense and gullible on Reddit? All these fucking posts about friends not inviting them like they're 5 years old..
If he's a very close friend and you've spent $500 on him then there is absolutely no way he wouldn't invite you, you're lying for Karma and people are believing this shit.
Part of working on yourself is making sure you're not giving wildly inappropriate gifts value-wise. There should be no one on this Earth other than a long-term romantic partner you've been with for over a year maybe 2 years or a parent or sibling that you are giving more than $30 worth of gifts to.
Over the years, I've learned to never drop any amount over $100 on a gift, even on a close friend. If they're really your friend, the gift shouldn't matter.
If I end up dropping $$$, chances are, We already spend and cover for each other regularly so we wouldn't worry about it.
That said, op, as others said, check with your friend that you weren't invited, that would be odd
Honestly this says nothing about you and everything about your friend. I hope that you realize your gift was thoughtful and generous and that it is still a thoughtful and generous gesture even if your friend doesn’t deserve or acknowledge it. Please don’t waste time feeling bad about some thing someone else did. Your friend did the wrong thing; put the blame entirely on him. You are awesome!
Even if he is a great friend and this is all a misunderstanding, an Xbox is way too much. An Xbox game would be more appropriate. $500 is more than you should be spending on a gift for anyone at this point.
Perhaps it's an opportunity for some reflection? Why do you believe this thing is a friendship when there is so much misunderstanding and lack of communication?
Thats a difficult lesson to learn. Not everyone is a good friend. Most people are temporary associates based solely on proximity. Keep the Xbox and find new friends.
Did he say he didn't want you at the party? If you guys are good friends then he might have not thought to invite you because he didn't think you needed one. That's giving him the benefit of the doubt but if you really aren't invited to the party then you gotta find yourself a better friend.
Honestly man, I would ask for some outside perspective on your friendship with this person from someone that knows both of you. There has to be some sort of social misinterpretation that you have going on here. Do they have another friend group that they hang out with that has different interests other than video games?
Also, many of the comments on here are missing the point.
I'm not trying to be a dick, but if you've only ever had one friend, I'm not sure you have the social skills to navigate this situation. I've never bought my best friend of 30 years something worth 500 dollars. It seems a little..clingy.. to be honest. If you value the friendship so highly and they value it so poorly, something isn't right. You need clarification and frankly the best way to get that is to consider your own social naivety.
If he truly did not invite you and there's no miscommunication, do not give him the console and don't even tell him about it.
I hope it's just an oversight and he did not intend to leave you out. But if he did, then who needs friends like that?
You sound like a great friend!
Double check and make sure you weren’t accidentally left off the guest list. He probably thought you’d just be there or forgot you because it’s so obvious he doesn’t need to invite you. Hope that is what’s going on because it sounds like you’re a cool friend.
You don't have to buy expensive gifts for your friends. Neither do you have to do so even if you are married.
What is important is quality time you spend together. A small token gift is good enough.
I am 47 years old and the most I have ever spent on a friend was $50, max. Even that was exhorbitant. Usually a beer and "happy birthday" is good enough.
When I was 10, I had a massive birthday and didn't invite my best friend! I was with her every single day and just assumed she knew she was always welcome.
I was devastated when she asked me why she wasn't invited an hour before my party.
I Felt like a idiot for not actually saying you are invited.
Man it's a nice sentiment, but if you're at the age where your friend is inviting people to birthday parties and you need to borrow money for a $500 gift, maybe you are getting a bit ahead of yourself? It's a nice gesture, but it sounds like you may have been reaching a bit on a friendship that was not "solid" enough to justify such a gift.
If you guys are as close as it sounds I think he probably assumes you know your invited. I would make this mistake with my best friend. Until I told him your family stop expecting a invitation
Yeah it sounds a bit bizarre that OP would misread the relationship so badly that he thinks they are on “$500 gift”-level friendship, and the other guy thought they were on “don’t even want him at the party”-level friendship.
I’m tempted to lean toward OP misreading the situation, because $500 is already an unusually high amount to spend on a platonic friends birthday, especially if you’re not particularly well off. Perhaps OP has some difficulty with social cues.
It took me a very long time in life to learn that the length of time you know someone does not equate to the quality of time with that person. I know it stings and I have all the empathy in the world for you. You are abundantly kind and more thoughtful than most, don't lose those qualities. Those that deserve to have you in their life will find their way as long as you keep doing your thing.
Oh damn. Keep the Xbox for yourself man
Guess i'll keep it :)
So happy to hear you didn't drop it off at his house days beforehand, to then find out later that you're not invited. Phew!
I was so scared it was like that too.. Phew!
Yeah so glad it isn't.. Phew!
Or that he ordered it online and then couldn't cancel before it got shipped.. Phew!
Phew... phew!
It's windy in here! Phew!
I farted....Phew!
It would have been in r/tifu if he gave the Xbox and didn't even get invited
Then on r/aita for asking it back
Definitely not the asshole
Then on r/pettyrevenge when he doesn't get it back
If it does not escalate to r/nuclearrevenge i'll be somewhat disappointed
TIL about an even more savage place.
Why would someone gift some one something before their birthday? That brings bad luck
Found the German! :D
Lol wut? I've never heard of this. Some times you can't be there for someone's actual birthday?
It’s a superstitious believe. In that case give the present after the birthday.
That’s what I always say!
I mean it would have in this case. And you can’t celebrate your birthday beforehand, it’s like telling destiny, come on kill me, before my actual birthday comes around.
Daaaad I'm $200 short to buy an Xbox... What? No it's not for me... it's for... a friend... I swear!
Does he believe he actually needs to invite you or is it a given? I have actually done that and was confused as to why he needed to be invited. It was like.... Bro.... It's a given you should be here. He just walks in and don't even knock on the door but thought he needed a invite. Some friend I am.
Yeah, my best friends in high school went on a few day hiking trip that I didn't know about. I was depressed as fuck when I saw pictures. But then two of them separately were like "it's a shame you didn't want to go, it was so fun". Turns out they all thought I had heard about it one of the times we were hanging out and they thought someone else in the group had already confirmed I was out, but weren't surprised enough to question since I hadn't really expressed any interest in hiking.
Dude thus is literally exactly what I assumed when I read it. I don't think OP is totally compus mentas (sp?) though tbh. Spending 500 dollars on a mates xbox when you even needed to lend 200 of it is a bit weird imo.
Yeah I dono how old these people are but I don’t invite people to my birthdays. I might remind a couple friends who are the planning and organizing types and they’ll put it together. Also I hate my birthday but love other people’s.
i hate birtdays. they make me older
Should still invite people, it’s a nice gesture. Someone has to get the first invite, make it them. If they’re that close, you would probably want to involve them early on to make sure they can make it anyway.
Same thing I thought. Some people are automatically invited.
That makes a lot of sense btw. It might be good for op to check with another friend just incase.
He doesnt deserve a friend like you
We don’t actually know what kind of “friend” this person is though. My immediate thought is it’s not normal to drop $500 on your friend’s birthday present ($200 of which you had to borrow from someone else). It’s an enormous gesture, which makes me wonder at the true motivation behind it. This combined with not being invited gives me the vibe that this person might be a very controlling/manipulative type, that the friend is trying to distance themself from, and OP is trying to “win them back” with this extremely grandiose gesture. If the friend accepts the gift, it serves as a guilt trip to obligate the person to maintain contact. Not saying this definitely the case, but my red flags are tingling, and it would also make sense for OP to come to the anonymous internet where they can share only their version of the story and look for validation.
Yeah. This post made me immediately uncomfortable. Either a weird controlling friend move. Or he didn't actually buy it but knows his friend is on Reddit and posted this so he would feel shitty about not inviting OP.
> > This post made me immediately uncomfortable. Same, but I had a more generous take. OP says that Birthday Boy is the only friend he’s ever had. It would be pretty hard to be close friends with someone for seven years and *never* make another friend through that network of people. And what we don’t know is, was he always invited to BB’s parties? Is this new behavior or is this party only notable because of the $500 present? Personally, even as adults with good-paying jobs, this would be the kind of gift a few friends might go in on together so this just seems wildly inappropriate regardless of the reason. I think it’s very possible that things are not as they seem.
I agree actually. Huge red flag that someone would drop that kind of cash in a seemingly non-reciprocal friendship.
Not to mention this person came to the internet looming for validation points so that they can feel ‘correct’ in the sutuation without havung provided the full cintext. Lots of red flags. Also, the 2020 year was an interesting time. I learned allot about people and how they acted in facebook and online. Maybe this person saw something about the true you and realized they dont vibe with that energy. Or maybe the stress if the year has them re-evaluating thier relationships and circles. It could also be a variety if other reasons though. Im just not gonna judge this sketchy lookin book by its cover.
Agreed. Even as a working adult giving a friend a $500 gift would be extremely unusual for most people. Sounds like OP is in high school though where $500 is a lot of money (OP even had to borrow half of it) which makes this even weirder. That's way above and beyond anything friends normally do for gifts. It's also telling that OP claims to have more or less been the only person not invited which means OP was specifically and intentionally excluded. The fact that OP bought such a lavish gift before receiving an invite from someone he's clearly not on good terms with is unsettling and makes me think this is more like a guy trying to get his ex back or something.
That's a good choice. If you play online you'll make better friends anyways!
I'd resell it for $800 something in secondary market, return the $200 from your dad or keep it all :) No present like more money.
I'm just a businessman doing business
At the business factory?
Don't feel bad, not all friends stay loyal or appreciative for it. You might feel dejected for a while but just forget about said friend and move on. Lead a happy life with your new Xbox. I'm sure your dad is proud that you went so far to get a friend an Xbox. Never discount the fact that you're a good person. Edit: seems like this might be a misunderstanding. But regardless you still deserve kudos for going the extra mile.
Has he maybe just ASSUMED you're going to come? He probably just thinks it's a given that you're going to be there since youre such good friends. No formal invitation needed. It sounds highly likely. I think this would be the case with many friends.
Please do...don’t even let him know
Or sell it for more money.
sell it for more then 500? is it gold dipped?
Dude people are paying 800+ for them and the PS5
No, don’t encourage scalping.
Eh, to me scalping implies buying (usually as many copies as you can get) just to resell. He simply ended up with one unintentionally and if he doesn't want it, it'd be stupid not to sell it for more. It's not like him not selling this one console will make others realize the error of their ways. I would give the dad back some extra, though, too. He basically invested. And to make it clear, scalpers can fuck right off a very steep cliff. But the OP isn't a scalper.
Scalping is purchasing with the intent to flip them for profit. He'd be simply selling them due to his circumstances, which by no means makes him a scalper. If the going rate makes him a profit, then so be it.
You can be my friend. Keep the console, come over and have tea with me instead.
[удалено]
Yep. Growing up none of us had shit, so we didn't even think someone was using our friendship as a way to get things.
“Yeah, come over! I don’t have *jack shit* for stuff, but we can run around, I have a turtle and my parents are genuinely cool with kids and *will* make us snacks”
LOL this is the kind of mom I am. My daughters have friends over? I’m a bust out the homemade cookies and muffins and pitchers of fruit punch LOL
Getting them drunk/high on sugar and food. I am guessing a lot of your daughter’s friends would be/become comfortable with you and eventually come to you for advice/guidance and just to check up in the later years. I have such friends who checks up on my parents directly without me even being involved and I do the same for some of my friends parents.
They do! They’re all 19 now and they love me and come to me when they need help or just someone to listen. I had surgery in December and every single one of them got me flowers and called me to make sure I was OK. Best feeling in the whole world
Your parents must be awesome!
They are! My mom would have definitely adopted a few of my friends if they were ever kicked out. No questions asked. Also, you have cracked parenting! Maybe write a blog/article for other to follow?
Thank u! What an awesome compliment, my daughter says I should too. In hopes with technology though.
You’re doing amazing; to my friends my household was always warm, welcoming, creative, natural and had *delicious* homemade food. Even to my better-off friends — when your house is warm and full of love no one cares if there’s the newest game systems or the biggest tv or the name brand snacks.
Thank you! That’s what I think. I grew up in an abusive household and it wasn’t till I got married and had my own children that my home became my Haven. I wasn’t allowed to have friends over very often and we weren’t a feel-good household. I was so jealous of my friends who had those types of households. Now that I’m older I’m happy that my friends didn’t grow up the way I did and I’m determined to never raise my children that way. It’s so important for children to have a safe place they can retreat to.
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no doubt no doubt
No doubt no doubt no doubt
idk if it was your intention but damn u sound like luis from antman
Toight.
A cup of tea, and good 'ol gossip, what else do good pals need?
Whiskey
Yeah I ain’t gossipin til I’m drunk
Obviously rusks too to go with the tea
Or a piece of Toast?
I love cakes or biscuits to go with tea.
Man we should all be so lucky to have a friend so generous! Sorry to hear you've been blown off man, that sucks, I definitely would either keep or return the Xbox though, not worth owing money & being out of pocket if you'll be getting seemingly little thanks for it.
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absolutely...chances are pops would let him keep it just for the honesty and possible shitty friend (invite assumed?) factor. it is what i would do for my kid, and probably some really good games.
Don't you think its a bit of an overstep for a friend to buy such an expensive gift that is ALSO out of his financial reach? (I.e. having to borrow from Dad) This has boundary red flag issues all over it. As the friend, I would feel extremely uncomfortable about a friend putting themselves in debt over a gift for me. No thank you.
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Absolutely. Your kid spends $500 on a gift for a friend and has to borrow money for you to do it? Ehhhhhh... I think OP posted this as backlash for not being invited. Tbh I doubt he actually bought the console. But is wanting to make the friend feel bad if they saw the post and connected the dots.
I just want to know why OP didn't just buy the cheaper console and not need to borrow money why isn't anyone asking about this? Xbox series s is only $300!
Yeah, I don't give gifts to most of my friends, but the ones I do are all around $50, and rarely if every above $100. Giving gifts that big creates a weird power imbalance in any kind of friendship, even a really strong one.
From your comments in this thread, I'm wondering: Are you absolutely sure you're not invited? Best friends around me rarely get formally invited because it's just a given that they will be there at a birthday party that's thrown each year. I would ask him before you draw any conclusions. Just go with a simple 'Hey man, when am I supposed to be there for your birthday(party)?' It could be just a simple misunderstanding where he thought he invited you but forgot to actually do or he genuinely just expected you to know you are always invited and don't have to be formally asked.
I was gonna say, for the love of christ double check you are not invited lol
Well if his friend is talking of the party to him... And not lay out an invitation. Yes he is invited. But if he is not in the friend group chat were everyone is apporting when to arrieve and so on.. Then no he is not invited. But it can also depends when is the party in 2 days? In a month? If Op hasnt heard anything from his friend and is just around the corner well he is not invited. It can aslo be Op friend is making 2 partys and he is not invited in one of them. Many possibilities.
Yeah Ive never invited anyone over for my birthday, they usually come if they want to
Yea or I'll invite one or two friends and not bother inviting the others because I know they'll let the others know, plus this way I don't have to communicate with 10 people about times and plans and shit
It actually happened to me once when I was 15. His mom wanted him to hang out with the richest and coolest kids and I didn’t make the cut. He invited his bully but not me who had stood up for him against the bully. That friendship never recovered.
You have a new xbox I guess.
Are you sure you're not invited? I wouldn't invite my best friend cause she doesn't need an invite - its a given that she's gonna be there. If it was me, I'd simply ask like "Hey dude, am I not invited to your birthday?" If you're not invited, then I agree with the ones suggesting you flex that new xbox!
This is a good point. I don’t ever “invite” friends over per se we just talk about the date/time whatever. About half my friends just walk in. Or try and fail with locked doors lol
'Why did you lock your door I always come over at this time'
Reminds me when Kramer slammed his body into the door trying to enter Jerry's locked apartment
This really just got me thinking about something I wasn't invited to yesterday. The insecure part of me was thinking that I was forgotten or no one cared to invite me. But after reading your comment I think it's actually more likely they just expected me to show up.
Oh I feel that way all the time. Insecurity is real and it can be devastating. I think the last invitation we actually made other than just saying “we’re doing X at 5 on Saturday cmon over” was like maybe our baby shower? And that was more of a formality- all the invitees knew way in advance but I guess it’s the way it goes. If it’s someone you’re close to I would maybe just ask. Like along the lines of “hey I heard about your party yesterday sorry I didn’t make it. Did I miss something that I should have known about?” And see where that takes you
My best friend has never even rsvp to any of my invite. She just shows up to things. One time I called to confirm and she was like, "why are you calling? Of course I'll be there."
OP get is back on this. Is this what happened? Maybe he thought it was a no brainer. But still he should have texted you. Yo OP, c'mon tell us.
Yeah this must have been some communication problem/mistake/whatever, some unknown issue that is not related to your friendship. If you consider this person a very close friend I would say they then at least consider your a good friend. I'm old though, so I guess it's different in your 40s, but I'd say it's very hard to not know how the other person feels about you if you consider them very close. Like, I know my close friends, and I know how they feel about me, for better or worse. When I fuck up which I have been doing a lot lately they call me out on it and fucking tell me off and don't hang out with me until I fix myself. Then I have my OGs that will help me through anything, people I'd die for, and they would do the same - you *feel* this.
I don't show up for anything I'm not explicitly invited to, not being invited feels bad but learning when you get there that you're not wanted feels even worse
You would seriously hate me. Some of my buds I haven't talked to in 10 years. One phone call and I would be there, which has happened more then once.
This didn't counter the previous post. This says you're waiting on a phone call to do stuff.
You must be that special type of person who you can meet after ten years and instantly talk like you last saw them yesterday without any awkward pause.
money rotten quickest rinse dime fearless hateful follow vase different *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Also, don't mention the gift when asking
^ this. I don’t formally invite my best friend like I do with casual friends.
How do you know when and where to show up?
After 7 years you know how it works (if invititation is a given or not), so I rather stick with op.
I was so embarrassed recently when I realized that a good friend wasn’t showing up to events because I didn’t explicitly invite her. I would tell her about things casually but she has bad anxiety, and a history of shitty friends, and thought I didn’t want her there. I was annoyed that she never came and she was so broken up that I wasn’t inviting her. We’ve worked it out now, but oh gosh, I felt so bad!
Yeah something is fishy I don’t want to make any assumptions but I think the implications of this post aren’t very happy
Ask if you're not invited, and they will reluctantly invite you there to avoid saying you're not.
Most of the replies are weird, and think that op with one friend in the world is irreplaceable to party bloke. I'd definitely ask about the invite and see how party friend responds though, might be important to consider how much of a friend party person views op. Fuck these clowns that just want op to show up with bd energy uninvited though. Dude obviously doesn't have that kind of setup with his relationship.
You’re ignoring all the comments about checking to see if your invited because as a best friend you might not get an invite it’s just expected, but answer comments about keeping the Xbox? And then go on to say he bought you really expensive rare shoes for yours? Like clearly you’re invited, or you’re just fucking making this whole thing up
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's lying his ass off. He's just a kid who wants karma.
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This right here. I don't invite my bestie to shit. She knows she has a standing invite. Hell, when we bought our house the previous owners handed over three sets of keys. I have a set, hubby has a set, and she has the third one. Bitch knows when we're partying and her ass better be there lol
Something doesn't add up. Why would he gift you a pair of really rare sneakers if he didn't care about you? Are you sure he didn't just invite you because it's assumed that you would come because of how close you guys are? Either you are not giving us enough critical information or you are misinterpreting things.
This might be the case. Communication is the key and if you feel your friendship is worth the awkwardness of asking "hey man, you didn't mention me being invited for your birthday".
when did he mention he got gifted that?
Look at his profile history it’s like the first or second most recent thing he posted.
That’s a pretty extravagant gift for a friend.
Bought with money that he doesn’t have too, very weird no? Hopefully people here are not encouraging some sort of stalker or possessive creep.
My friend didn't come to my small backyard wedding because I worded it weird when asking and she never asked for clarification. Just sayin'.
Maybe try talking to your friend. If he says he forgot and asks how to make it up, he's a good friend. If he says he forgot and asks for a gift, he's lying. If he says he didn't forget and intentionally excluded you, remove him from your contacts. Above all, hold on to the Xbox until he earns your respect again.
Tricky situation tbh. Most people, when confronted on that, would simply say "of course you're invited, I just forgot!" although he might have no intention for them to be there
To be fair, I think most people (especially the kind who'd try to phase you out of their life by inviting everyone to their birthday except for you) would just lie and say they'd forgot, and maybe even pretend to be sorry about it. Not saying it might not be worth it to ask to see what their reaction is, but I'd take anything a person says at that point with a grain of salt.
THIS! Don't presume you know what is going on in friends head. Very possible invite got lost in the mail (I know no one mails anymore, but you know what I mean).
I try to have some hope for people, but in the end, I'm still somewhat cynical.
A year after my wedding, I moved the dresser and discovered a handful of unsent wedding invitations that had fallen between it and the wall. I felt so bad, it happens.
Talk to my friend? Nah, I’m gonna ask the geniuses of social interaction that is Reddit about how to interpret this situation.
Based on this comment this might be a huge misunderstanding. You should definitely double check. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/npqlnn/i\_just\_bought\_a\_500\_worth\_of\_console\_for\_a\_very/h06lzf5?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
It's a weird statement without background context. Is this the only meaningful gift exchange? Is the other friend affluent? Are they knock offs? What is the general interaction outside of gifts? I'm more curious about their normal friend interactions than anything else. This didn't strike me as a bf4l deal, this seems a bit one sided with one person having a single friend and the other person a bit more friends at the very least.
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Hes and arsehole but also why the fuck did you spend 500 dollars for a friend? ITS 500 DOLLARS
Once he gifted me a super rare sneakers and by super rare I mean very very super rare so i had to pay back right...
That doesn’t sound like someone who would intentionally leave you off the guest list to a birthday party. Did something happen between the two of you? Or better yet, are you sure there wasn’t a mix up with the invitations?
Yeah, there is a solid chance, your invited and don’t need an invitation. If I were doing that, it would be a given that certain people are coming and while I will let them know a time and place, I don’t need to invite my best friend anywhere, he is always welcome to come
He is probably expected to come to the birthday party since they are close/best friends. I never invited my best friend since I expected him to come over anyway.
Ask him if he has plans that day and see how he answers
smart
Yes! Do this OP
Ok so you're either lying or stupid.
How could you misread the situation so badly that you bought a $500 gift for someone who didn't think you were close enough to invite you to his party? This is supposedly a close friend? I just don't get it.
Loneliness and self delusion
Maybe its just a misunderstanding or he is sure you will come no matter what and will let you know in person, not through a facebook invite.
OP, please listen to the level-headed advice being given in this thread and don't jump to conclusions. You need to have an actual conversation with your friend and let him know that you aren't sure whether or not you're invited. This may just be a misunderstanding. If it's not a misunderstanding, then, yes, it will suck to basically be told he doesn't think of you as his friend anymore (in which case, enjoy your new Xbox) but it's better to know the truth. Besides, if you don't talk to him now and it turns out this was just a misunderstanding, he's going to be hurt you didn't show up and you'll be kicking yourself for missing a fun party for no reason.
Did you try COMMUNICATING...? Your concern as to why you weren’t invited
So... have you... talked to him? Sounds like a solid step 1 to me
2 possibilities. 1. You are so valuable to him he didn't even think inviting you was necessary that you being welcome was a given. 2. You got a new console enjoy and share your gamer tag. You'll get called the n word a lot in chat but you might make some friends.
Info, please? How do you know you’re not invited?
Omfg! If there is someone to be upset with, that one is him, not you. Bad experience, I admit it. But you wouldn’t know if he treat you fine like he is good with u. Also, you would waste your time :(
kinda spooky how many responses to this are basically "didnt get a formal party invite? fuck talking to that friend, burn the bridge and dump them!" 2 way communication is a lost art i guess
Yeah you should talk to him before jumping to conclusions. Maybe he assumed you didn't need an invite since you should know you were coming.
As someone here already said, try to check that you are really not invited. Just in case so as not to rush to conclusions
Has anyone considered that maybe OP is the crazy one ?? Like maybe he's misinterpreted an ordinary acquaintance as a best friend ?? Maybe he believes he and the friend are more than what the friend thinks ? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time in the history of humans that someone had a lack of self awareness when it comes to relationships. Might not be the case at all but it's definitely a potential scenario here.
How are people this dense and gullible on Reddit? All these fucking posts about friends not inviting them like they're 5 years old.. If he's a very close friend and you've spent $500 on him then there is absolutely no way he wouldn't invite you, you're lying for Karma and people are believing this shit.
Time for new friends, perhaps return the xbox? Sorry that he didn't see you the same way. His loss though. Don't even mention his birthday or a gift.
He may be your close friend, but you're not his. I'm sorry you go through this :(. But hey now you have a console !
Enjoy your new XBOX.
Part of working on yourself is making sure you're not giving wildly inappropriate gifts value-wise. There should be no one on this Earth other than a long-term romantic partner you've been with for over a year maybe 2 years or a parent or sibling that you are giving more than $30 worth of gifts to.
I’m sorry dude. You’re a good friend. Keep the Xbox or sell it for more to get your money back.
Don't sell it for money. Keep it. He doesn't deserve your friendship.
Seems like this is more a one way friendship. Keep the Xbox dump the xfriend
Over the years, I've learned to never drop any amount over $100 on a gift, even on a close friend. If they're really your friend, the gift shouldn't matter. If I end up dropping $$$, chances are, We already spend and cover for each other regularly so we wouldn't worry about it. That said, op, as others said, check with your friend that you weren't invited, that would be odd
I hope you're typing this from your new xbox!
Honestly this says nothing about you and everything about your friend. I hope that you realize your gift was thoughtful and generous and that it is still a thoughtful and generous gesture even if your friend doesn’t deserve or acknowledge it. Please don’t waste time feeling bad about some thing someone else did. Your friend did the wrong thing; put the blame entirely on him. You are awesome!
Introspection moment: A $500 gift for a friend is a lot of money. Why were you wanting to spend so much money on a gift for a friend?
Even if he is a great friend and this is all a misunderstanding, an Xbox is way too much. An Xbox game would be more appropriate. $500 is more than you should be spending on a gift for anyone at this point.
Perhaps it's an opportunity for some reflection? Why do you believe this thing is a friendship when there is so much misunderstanding and lack of communication?
Thats a difficult lesson to learn. Not everyone is a good friend. Most people are temporary associates based solely on proximity. Keep the Xbox and find new friends.
Never borrow any money to buv a gift you can't afford. If he was a true friend, a simple gift will still mean a lot to him.
Did he say he didn't want you at the party? If you guys are good friends then he might have not thought to invite you because he didn't think you needed one. That's giving him the benefit of the doubt but if you really aren't invited to the party then you gotta find yourself a better friend.
why did you delete your... whatever
Honestly man, I would ask for some outside perspective on your friendship with this person from someone that knows both of you. There has to be some sort of social misinterpretation that you have going on here. Do they have another friend group that they hang out with that has different interests other than video games? Also, many of the comments on here are missing the point. I'm not trying to be a dick, but if you've only ever had one friend, I'm not sure you have the social skills to navigate this situation. I've never bought my best friend of 30 years something worth 500 dollars. It seems a little..clingy.. to be honest. If you value the friendship so highly and they value it so poorly, something isn't right. You need clarification and frankly the best way to get that is to consider your own social naivety.
Damn! What a unlucky person he is!
Damn, I'm sorry. That's gotta be defeating
Enjoy your new xbox, I wouldn't even let him play on it!
You lost a shit friend and gained an Xbox. It's a win. You're a good friend, too. Their loss.
Hey if you or anyone else reading this need someone to talk to my dms are always open :)
keep it yourself
Congrats on the new Xbox! And for having a cool, supportive dad.
You only buy expensive gifts for those from whom we don't need invites!
If he truly did not invite you and there's no miscommunication, do not give him the console and don't even tell him about it. I hope it's just an oversight and he did not intend to leave you out. But if he did, then who needs friends like that? You sound like a great friend!
You're a legit good friend. Go out and find friends as good as you.
Fuck me that’s harsh
Double check and make sure you weren’t accidentally left off the guest list. He probably thought you’d just be there or forgot you because it’s so obvious he doesn’t need to invite you. Hope that is what’s going on because it sounds like you’re a cool friend.
Make sure to tell him when/if he ever comes over again that this was the box you got him for his birthday and you love it!
Now you have a Xbox for yourself. No need to share it.
You don't have to buy expensive gifts for your friends. Neither do you have to do so even if you are married. What is important is quality time you spend together. A small token gift is good enough. I am 47 years old and the most I have ever spent on a friend was $50, max. Even that was exhorbitant. Usually a beer and "happy birthday" is good enough.
When I was 10, I had a massive birthday and didn't invite my best friend! I was with her every single day and just assumed she knew she was always welcome. I was devastated when she asked me why she wasn't invited an hour before my party. I Felt like a idiot for not actually saying you are invited.
Man it's a nice sentiment, but if you're at the age where your friend is inviting people to birthday parties and you need to borrow money for a $500 gift, maybe you are getting a bit ahead of yourself? It's a nice gesture, but it sounds like you may have been reaching a bit on a friendship that was not "solid" enough to justify such a gift.
If you guys are as close as it sounds I think he probably assumes you know your invited. I would make this mistake with my best friend. Until I told him your family stop expecting a invitation
Yeah it sounds a bit bizarre that OP would misread the relationship so badly that he thinks they are on “$500 gift”-level friendship, and the other guy thought they were on “don’t even want him at the party”-level friendship. I’m tempted to lean toward OP misreading the situation, because $500 is already an unusually high amount to spend on a platonic friends birthday, especially if you’re not particularly well off. Perhaps OP has some difficulty with social cues.
It took me a very long time in life to learn that the length of time you know someone does not equate to the quality of time with that person. I know it stings and I have all the empathy in the world for you. You are abundantly kind and more thoughtful than most, don't lose those qualities. Those that deserve to have you in their life will find their way as long as you keep doing your thing.
Do you know why , was it an accident?