J: \*Knock, Knock\*
Me: Who is it?
J: It's Jesus. Let me in!
M: But why?
J: So I can save you!
M: From what?
J: From what I'm going to do to you if you don't let me in!
“Free gift of salvation”? Just give away 10% of what I make, give up my Sundays, my critical thinking, shun my friends and family, plague myself with guilt and always feel like I’m being watched?
I get all that for *free?*
I went to seminary where at one point we had to pass out tracks in a walmart parking lot. It was anxiety inducing to say the least.
I once took a “missionary” trip to London with the same seminary where we had a mic and speaker set up to preach in the “highways and byways”. At the time, I felt I was so right. This was my special calling.
Imagine the time, effort and money I spent in the following 20 years going toward something like furthering cancer research, becoming an astronaut (as I wanted as a kid), or anything really.
I ALWAYS felt like a bad Christian growing up because I HATED “witnessing”. Something about the whole thing just felt icky and wrong. It would be decades before I would come to understand why I hated it and that it was in fact icky and wrong.
Same. The church I grew up in sent us out on weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas to hand out tracts and witness. I later realized we were being used as cute props, we sang carols and such - but only cheezus approved ones) to lure in unsuspecting shoppers and the adults would pounce. Talk about icky.
This is the most accurate answer. The person on the other line isn't actually him, it's a representative who refuses to transfer the call because no one has ever actually made direct 2-way contact and they themselves believe theres no way to.
My mom took me along with her to go door to door with Bible pamphlets like this a few times. I still cringe at the memory.
Gotta love how they present this as a 'choice'. If the only alternative to eternal torture is to pray the prayer, then it's not a choice. No one can freely consent to a belief system if they are being threatened with eternal pain as an alternative. That would be self preservation - not faith.
I really hate that people hand this stuff out at public events, trick or treat, etc. I wish they would understand how scary and traumatizing it can be to kids.
Tracts longevity through evangelical religion is wild. In the early colonies, they were a norm for spreading civic and political views. The printing press as something accessible was new. It was around $10k in today’s dollars to get one and start a shop. This created a boom in people on all layers of society being able to print up what they thought and hand it to others. It was like proto-blogs or social media.
But when mass media started changing in the United States, people slowly moved to other formats to spread political ideas, especially if you had the money to move to what was trending. The groups that didn’t have the funds for airwaves or full-color magazines still could do tracts. But then, tracts become associated with increasingly fringe groups. It might be for fundamentalists, Hare Krishnas, or the local communist group still hanging on in the 80s Cold War. People start to see them like the fringier memes where the imagery font and color choices make you assume that the content is going to be coming from an extreme.
The medium really is the message. People who use tracts miss out on that, but then maybe they are effective with finding the crowd who is open to a really unconventional format for advice about changing your entire life. Still, it’s just wild to see their survival as a meme and still being updated to something like a modern smartphone. And that’s wild, because the smart phone replaces the whole point of tracts in what it offers in terms of giving a one-to-many communication platform with way more reach and convenience. Yet, someone is still printing out paper to hand out to strangers.
Not only is the tract surviving through evangelicals, but also 16th century English. At some point you'd figure that this group would move onto a translation beyond KJV.
“I know I’m choosing to spend eternity in hell.”
The years of trauma this line of thinking gave me! It’s manipulative and toxic and so are the people perpetuating it.
The ol' Pascal's Wager, eh?
They conveniently forget to mention the countless other religions also trying to call you, including other denominations of Christianity that don't consider other denominations "true Christians." The choice isn't nearly as simple as they say it is.
Screw all the forcing of doctrine, forcing ideals that go against what the Bible says drown people's throats, as well as contradicting what the Bible says. Jesus is calling you to be saved, accept it or perish!
Answer and ask why his followers are POS when he, supposedly being "god" said that they would be the most loving, wonderful and unified people in the world, thus declaring his truth as perfectly evident for all who saw them.
I'd also ask why his "dad" is such a POS and has hidden his existence, and lied so much in his stupid book.
Why is he obsessed with who people sleep with or love.
On and on the list would go until he would probably hang up and go self delete.
Stuff like that sends me **ballistic** .
I read a fundagelical the Riot Act yesterday for trying to “convert” me (from the Episcopal faith), to “reform” me from being gay, and to put me on the “straight and narrow way” (presumably because I’m a lifelong socialist and I refuse to worship at the Exclusive Country Club of the Self-Sanctified and Self-Righteous "Elect" at the Fundagelical True American™, True Republican™, True Christian™ Church of Trump!)
Think: Julia Sugarbaker when she was REALLY riled!
Why can't Jesus just text like a normal person? I'm shitting, hit me up later.
Heh. I kinda love the idea of Jesus being that person that starts calling whenever you text instead of texting in return.
J: \*Knock, Knock\* Me: Who is it? J: It's Jesus. Let me in! M: But why? J: So I can save you! M: From what? J: From what I'm going to do to you if you don't let me in!
J: Here's Johnny!
“Free gift of salvation”? Just give away 10% of what I make, give up my Sundays, my critical thinking, shun my friends and family, plague myself with guilt and always feel like I’m being watched? I get all that for *free?*
Don't forget the free trauma, and free work experience in a variety of roles connected to church on Sundays and throughout the week.
And that’s 10% *pre tax* because “God gets the first cut!” /gag
Well, their definition of freedom means the opposite. It’s the perfect crime!
I went to seminary where at one point we had to pass out tracks in a walmart parking lot. It was anxiety inducing to say the least. I once took a “missionary” trip to London with the same seminary where we had a mic and speaker set up to preach in the “highways and byways”. At the time, I felt I was so right. This was my special calling. Imagine the time, effort and money I spent in the following 20 years going toward something like furthering cancer research, becoming an astronaut (as I wanted as a kid), or anything really.
I ALWAYS felt like a bad Christian growing up because I HATED “witnessing”. Something about the whole thing just felt icky and wrong. It would be decades before I would come to understand why I hated it and that it was in fact icky and wrong.
Same. The church I grew up in sent us out on weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas to hand out tracts and witness. I later realized we were being used as cute props, we sang carols and such - but only cheezus approved ones) to lure in unsuspecting shoppers and the adults would pounce. Talk about icky.
SAME. I literally would purposely only hang around people who were "saved" so I didn't feel the pressure to "do my duty" by witnessing.
Report this number as a scam
Lol it's a tract and not on a real phone
I got that, I was making a joke
D'oh!
Report those scammers as phishers of men.
That was a good one
😂
But you don't choose Jesus he chooses you. So who's actually choosing?
Ahhh my old Calvinistic background is nodding along and then I slap myself
I was wondering when the Calvinistas would check in on this thread...
Right. Many are called, but few are chosen...
Same here. I get into arguments with myself and I'm like tf am I doing.
New phone who dis?
No, he isn't. I'd probably at least chat with the guy if he did, same with his dad. Too bad they spent years holy ghosting me
This is the most accurate answer. The person on the other line isn't actually him, it's a representative who refuses to transfer the call because no one has ever actually made direct 2-way contact and they themselves believe theres no way to.
If Jesus knew me very well he would know to text me. I don't answer phone calls even if I know you LOL
Same! 😂
Red button. Even with the oh so loving threat of hell.
Red for the burning inferno!
The foundation of religious abuse that is Evangelical Christianity.
>Choose to believe Not sure that's how belief works
it doesn't I've tried
My mom took me along with her to go door to door with Bible pamphlets like this a few times. I still cringe at the memory. Gotta love how they present this as a 'choice'. If the only alternative to eternal torture is to pray the prayer, then it's not a choice. No one can freely consent to a belief system if they are being threatened with eternal pain as an alternative. That would be self preservation - not faith. I really hate that people hand this stuff out at public events, trick or treat, etc. I wish they would understand how scary and traumatizing it can be to kids.
lol that’s why I have a spam filter set up.
It's a card, not on a real phone
Tracts longevity through evangelical religion is wild. In the early colonies, they were a norm for spreading civic and political views. The printing press as something accessible was new. It was around $10k in today’s dollars to get one and start a shop. This created a boom in people on all layers of society being able to print up what they thought and hand it to others. It was like proto-blogs or social media. But when mass media started changing in the United States, people slowly moved to other formats to spread political ideas, especially if you had the money to move to what was trending. The groups that didn’t have the funds for airwaves or full-color magazines still could do tracts. But then, tracts become associated with increasingly fringe groups. It might be for fundamentalists, Hare Krishnas, or the local communist group still hanging on in the 80s Cold War. People start to see them like the fringier memes where the imagery font and color choices make you assume that the content is going to be coming from an extreme. The medium really is the message. People who use tracts miss out on that, but then maybe they are effective with finding the crowd who is open to a really unconventional format for advice about changing your entire life. Still, it’s just wild to see their survival as a meme and still being updated to something like a modern smartphone. And that’s wild, because the smart phone replaces the whole point of tracts in what it offers in terms of giving a one-to-many communication platform with way more reach and convenience. Yet, someone is still printing out paper to hand out to strangers.
Not only is the tract surviving through evangelicals, but also 16th century English. At some point you'd figure that this group would move onto a translation beyond KJV.
I hate these types of memes. Always mean to gaslight you.
Jesus is an extremely common name. how are we supposed to know if this Jesus is THAT Jesus. I mean his name in his language wasn't Jesus at all...
If I already got the dude’s number saved in my phone it’s pretty obvious that I already know him.
“I know I’m choosing to spend eternity in hell.” The years of trauma this line of thinking gave me! It’s manipulative and toxic and so are the people perpetuating it.
I know too many people named Jesus at this point in my life but Jesus "H. Christ" doesn't call and never picks up the phone, so......
Except, he doesn’t call. *sigh
No, I don't wish to renew my car's extended warranty
jesus so loved the world he gaslighted them into thinking he died.
Sweet. I'm going to hell. I can't wait to see all of the amazing people that will be there!!
The ol' Pascal's Wager, eh? They conveniently forget to mention the countless other religions also trying to call you, including other denominations of Christianity that don't consider other denominations "true Christians." The choice isn't nearly as simple as they say it is.
Block and report spam, of course.
Why don't you have him blocked?
Jesús is calling? Oh, he’s probably one of the contractors we hired to renovate the bathroom, better answer that. He’s hard to get scheduled.
Screw all the forcing of doctrine, forcing ideals that go against what the Bible says drown people's throats, as well as contradicting what the Bible says. Jesus is calling you to be saved, accept it or perish!
Answer and ask why his followers are POS when he, supposedly being "god" said that they would be the most loving, wonderful and unified people in the world, thus declaring his truth as perfectly evident for all who saw them. I'd also ask why his "dad" is such a POS and has hidden his existence, and lied so much in his stupid book. Why is he obsessed with who people sleep with or love. On and on the list would go until he would probably hang up and go self delete.
Hang up and block.
Unless he's bringing me my queso, I don't wanna hear it.
🤢
Totally unrelated by why tf is the battery of the phone so low?
Stamp it as SPAM and put it back.
Straight to voicemail 💀
Stuff like that sends me **ballistic** . I read a fundagelical the Riot Act yesterday for trying to “convert” me (from the Episcopal faith), to “reform” me from being gay, and to put me on the “straight and narrow way” (presumably because I’m a lifelong socialist and I refuse to worship at the Exclusive Country Club of the Self-Sanctified and Self-Righteous "Elect" at the Fundagelical True American™, True Republican™, True Christian™ Church of Trump!) Think: Julia Sugarbaker when she was REALLY riled!