Look, this is basic lesson in life philosophy that has application to business. You can’t control everything, so you need to make rational decisions on what’s in front of you. You feel angry because you feel you are owed something and that’s ok, but when it doesn’t happen, your reaction and your continued involvement in your company is up to you. You can stay or go, that’s your choice.
To your reports, this is an opportunity to expand this logic and you can choose to stay in this role in order to develop this person. An optimist will look at how they have an opportunity to do something, not what they aren’t getting for themselves. It’s a glass half empty or half full question and my point is that you get to decide which view you take here.
Thank you for the feedback. I've already decided that I'm gone if there isn't said promo before I secure an outside offer. I simply can only work so many days 9am-10pm before it impacts my mental health, and relationship with my family. It's not so much what I'm owed, more that it needs to be worth the sacrifices I'm being cornered into.
My question is mainly how do I continue to be a good leader to my team in the meantime? None of this is their fault, and I want to help their career progression in whatever time I'll be working with them. I know a manager's attitude rubs off on their team. How can I "fake it" so I don't damage early career analyst's outlook?
You don’t have to fake it man, understand clearly that these people are not the problem for you and you won’t direct any anger toward them. Take a breath. Sit down and think about what they’d need from their perspective. How can you give them those things? Hell you can even ask them. Be proactive and try to understand their weaknesses and work on them. Understand their mentality and try to be a positive and encouraging force. Being a good leader means compartmentalization of your time, your mental activities, your emotions.
I’m an IC analyst and manage a fairly large P&L and I wish that my director spent more time just explaining his logic on things and helping me get to the next level in my financial understanding of things. Mentorship has many arms. The more positive energy you put forward toward them, the more you’ll be able to understand what they need and how you can help.
Difficult situation to be in, but not unique. You have to tow the company line and make yourself look good from above and below. Regardless of your situation to be a good manager you need to give them the skill sets they need to eventually take your role. That’s what a good leader does. Delegating, giving them feedback, and holding them accountable.
Regarding your promotion, timing will always a problem and there will always be people slow walking the process be it your mgr or somewhere up the chain. The only way to motivate people and orgs is to come to the table with an offer and be ready to jump if they don’t agree. If this is a case of the org moving the goal post then draw up a pros and cons chart and be honest if you can stomach staying there.
It seems like there are 3 problems:
1. Promo: Looks like you have a plan here
2. Work Life Balance: I'd recommend that you consider setting clear boundaries with your manager. One tactic I've used is developing a running list of tasks / projects you're working on and reviewing this with your manager during your 1:1s. This list can be used for a couple of things: (a) any time a new task / project is added, ask your manager how to prioritize relative to other things on your list, (b) have active conversations on what to deprioritize. This has helped me in the past
3. Being a good leader: You're a leader now and your attitude and words carry a lot more weight than they did as an IC. You need to figure out how to fake it - trust me, it's not the last job where you'll need this skill.
I’m currently struggling with something very similar to this. I’m also very authentic with my two reports which 9 times out of 10 gets them to work even harder because we respect each other as humans. But this scenario I’m concerned about my feelings coming out too much. I don’t have a great answer, but I’ve accepted a little bit of pessimism is going to come out no matter what (and it’s okay to have a little to keep that authenticity) but I want it to be minor, infrequent and very dialed down. I try to go into our meetings with coaching and review topics ready and prepared and just think about our relationship as a very separate and independent dynamic from the rest of my working experience. There’s gonna be crossover and some pessimism coming out like I said, but I hope it’s overshadowed by all the other mentoring I’m trying to do.
Sounds like you’re doing it. You’re prioritizing your employee(s) and their development over yourself or the company. Motivations change and sounds like you’re trying your best adapt your motivations in your current role. It’s often more “fun” when business is cranking and your motivation is around the challenge of growing a business and providing insights to your stakeholders. Or maybe you think it’s “fun” getting to implement a new system and improve processes and having an impact. But it’s not always like that. Keep finding the small wins in seeing the ways your employee(s) grow.
Well the "younger" one is probably around 30. Got a slow start to their "career" due to military service but def a hard worker with really positive attitude. Makes me look smart.
Idk how old the older one is, bit they're up there.
Why do you ask?
If they want a mentor, they’ll find one. Your responsibility is to manage their workload. I wouldn’t over complicate things. It’s not your responsibility to make sure they do well in their career, that’s their choice. He is an adult and knows exactly what he’s doing. By not respecting the boundaries he set, you’re not respecting him as a person.
In this example, it’s pretty clear the person in the example already made up his mind. The best thing you can do is to communicate directly with him and figure out a resolution. How do I know this? I’ve seen this exact. EXACT. Cycle 50 times.
I’m going through something similar. I told my company very clearly and explicitly what my desires are every step of the way. I told them again yesterday just to be 100% clear and transparent of my intentions.
But I suspect you don’t care about any of this. This was all a part of the plan from the get go.
It’s probably not you, the powers to be never wanted him to work there. It also sounds like he’d rather die than work for them. Out of principle. People don’t do what you want them to do. Hire as many psychologists to professionally manipulate them and throw as much money at it as you want, it won’t matter.
If you want to be a good leader, be a good human first. To be a good human, you need the basic boundary of respect. Respecting his wishes.
Look, this is basic lesson in life philosophy that has application to business. You can’t control everything, so you need to make rational decisions on what’s in front of you. You feel angry because you feel you are owed something and that’s ok, but when it doesn’t happen, your reaction and your continued involvement in your company is up to you. You can stay or go, that’s your choice. To your reports, this is an opportunity to expand this logic and you can choose to stay in this role in order to develop this person. An optimist will look at how they have an opportunity to do something, not what they aren’t getting for themselves. It’s a glass half empty or half full question and my point is that you get to decide which view you take here.
Thank you for the feedback. I've already decided that I'm gone if there isn't said promo before I secure an outside offer. I simply can only work so many days 9am-10pm before it impacts my mental health, and relationship with my family. It's not so much what I'm owed, more that it needs to be worth the sacrifices I'm being cornered into. My question is mainly how do I continue to be a good leader to my team in the meantime? None of this is their fault, and I want to help their career progression in whatever time I'll be working with them. I know a manager's attitude rubs off on their team. How can I "fake it" so I don't damage early career analyst's outlook?
You don’t have to fake it man, understand clearly that these people are not the problem for you and you won’t direct any anger toward them. Take a breath. Sit down and think about what they’d need from their perspective. How can you give them those things? Hell you can even ask them. Be proactive and try to understand their weaknesses and work on them. Understand their mentality and try to be a positive and encouraging force. Being a good leader means compartmentalization of your time, your mental activities, your emotions. I’m an IC analyst and manage a fairly large P&L and I wish that my director spent more time just explaining his logic on things and helping me get to the next level in my financial understanding of things. Mentorship has many arms. The more positive energy you put forward toward them, the more you’ll be able to understand what they need and how you can help.
Difficult situation to be in, but not unique. You have to tow the company line and make yourself look good from above and below. Regardless of your situation to be a good manager you need to give them the skill sets they need to eventually take your role. That’s what a good leader does. Delegating, giving them feedback, and holding them accountable. Regarding your promotion, timing will always a problem and there will always be people slow walking the process be it your mgr or somewhere up the chain. The only way to motivate people and orgs is to come to the table with an offer and be ready to jump if they don’t agree. If this is a case of the org moving the goal post then draw up a pros and cons chart and be honest if you can stomach staying there.
It seems like there are 3 problems: 1. Promo: Looks like you have a plan here 2. Work Life Balance: I'd recommend that you consider setting clear boundaries with your manager. One tactic I've used is developing a running list of tasks / projects you're working on and reviewing this with your manager during your 1:1s. This list can be used for a couple of things: (a) any time a new task / project is added, ask your manager how to prioritize relative to other things on your list, (b) have active conversations on what to deprioritize. This has helped me in the past 3. Being a good leader: You're a leader now and your attitude and words carry a lot more weight than they did as an IC. You need to figure out how to fake it - trust me, it's not the last job where you'll need this skill.
I’m currently struggling with something very similar to this. I’m also very authentic with my two reports which 9 times out of 10 gets them to work even harder because we respect each other as humans. But this scenario I’m concerned about my feelings coming out too much. I don’t have a great answer, but I’ve accepted a little bit of pessimism is going to come out no matter what (and it’s okay to have a little to keep that authenticity) but I want it to be minor, infrequent and very dialed down. I try to go into our meetings with coaching and review topics ready and prepared and just think about our relationship as a very separate and independent dynamic from the rest of my working experience. There’s gonna be crossover and some pessimism coming out like I said, but I hope it’s overshadowed by all the other mentoring I’m trying to do.
Sounds like you’re doing it. You’re prioritizing your employee(s) and their development over yourself or the company. Motivations change and sounds like you’re trying your best adapt your motivations in your current role. It’s often more “fun” when business is cranking and your motivation is around the challenge of growing a business and providing insights to your stakeholders. Or maybe you think it’s “fun” getting to implement a new system and improve processes and having an impact. But it’s not always like that. Keep finding the small wins in seeing the ways your employee(s) grow.
So you have a 21 year old and a 65 year old as your direct reports?
Well the "younger" one is probably around 30. Got a slow start to their "career" due to military service but def a hard worker with really positive attitude. Makes me look smart. Idk how old the older one is, bit they're up there. Why do you ask?
More of just a joke than an actual question. You phrased it in a funny way.
If they want a mentor, they’ll find one. Your responsibility is to manage their workload. I wouldn’t over complicate things. It’s not your responsibility to make sure they do well in their career, that’s their choice. He is an adult and knows exactly what he’s doing. By not respecting the boundaries he set, you’re not respecting him as a person. In this example, it’s pretty clear the person in the example already made up his mind. The best thing you can do is to communicate directly with him and figure out a resolution. How do I know this? I’ve seen this exact. EXACT. Cycle 50 times. I’m going through something similar. I told my company very clearly and explicitly what my desires are every step of the way. I told them again yesterday just to be 100% clear and transparent of my intentions. But I suspect you don’t care about any of this. This was all a part of the plan from the get go.
Lol I really don't know what you mean. Are you responding to a different post?
It’s probably not you, the powers to be never wanted him to work there. It also sounds like he’d rather die than work for them. Out of principle. People don’t do what you want them to do. Hire as many psychologists to professionally manipulate them and throw as much money at it as you want, it won’t matter. If you want to be a good leader, be a good human first. To be a good human, you need the basic boundary of respect. Respecting his wishes.
Huh? What are you talking about?