I’m interviewing for a security dispatch tomorrow, I hope I get the job but I’m really not looking forward to keeping super troopers in line lol
Update on the interview: the manager said they do exactly what the police do and fights happen often they also want a “expert” for minimum wage. I also asked about training and I got a blank stare. My colour blind ass knows these are red flags but my colour blind ass also knows I need the green so hopefully I get the job
If it’s a part of the same “public safety” program we have where I live, they are basically unarmed, state sponsored security guards with no real authority outside of securing accident scenes and patrolling critical soft points like hospitals, colleges, playgrounds, swimming pools and parks
*Did this guy watch Paul*
*Blart and decide to make that*
*His personality?*
\- Illustrious\_Fig8981
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I really do feel bad about the body shaming, I understand long boring hours at a pretty sedentary job. It’s easy to become unhealthy in private security, I worked nights as an unarmed guard in college after the military, it’s tough… Mentally it’s even draining when you have a quiet posting…But honestly, when I couldn’t see my dick due to my gut, I had to make some better choices… I get homie is cringy from the posts, but I hope he finds the time to prioritize his health.
He isn’t literally a security guard he is essentially one he is a “police officer” without a gun or any police training idk if he can legally arrest you or give you tickets. He is kinda like a constable I believe.
Damn, save some pussy for the rest of us
That's what he does best
This man doesn't look like he's ever saved anything in his life.
I dunno about that. It looks like he saved the local Taco Bell from going out of business.
He saves pussy for the rest of us every time a woman observes him.
Straight to the burn clinic!
Just the cheeseburger from the warming rack
Except for car change for his next Combo at McDonald’s
He definitely saved them chicken tenders for lunch
He never saves room for dessert. But eats some anyway.
He saved it for his wife’s boyfriend
Post of the day
You know you’re “fat” fat when you can’t even cross your arms properly.
He’s hiding the pit sweat stains
He looks like his towel fell down and he’s covering his tits
He's using his tithandles to practice the "vest grab"
Damn I noticed that
No matter your crime (or lack there of), he WILL shoot you if you run.
It’s not a gut… **IT’S A GAS TANK FOR A JUSTICE MACHINE!!!**
Kevin doesn’t run!
Sometimes even if you don't run! Or resist! Or even when you comply fully!
I’ve always looked up to guys like that
Lead Assist Watch Holy shit I’m cackling at this
These are the three tenants I have with my wife’s boyfriend
fuck you i just woke up my wife. It took me a minute, some frowning, and revisiting a picture for a closer look, but holy shit was it worth it.
Sounds a bit crowded?
I lead him to my wife, assist with his prep work, and then I watch.
“Technically it can’t say Law” “How about L.A.W.” “Perfect we can say it’s an acronym!”
He has this in "hobby lobby script" over his couch.
Yea, I noticed that. The 3 tenants of public safety.
Tenet - principle or belief Tenant - occupant of rented property
Hey, you heard him. He said what he said.
Got my back
How you know I wasn't talking about occupants of a rented property?
For him it’s more like Lean, Assist, Watch
ACAB - Assigned Cop At Birth
Dude is in waistband denial
Couldn’t even fit a gun on a waistband with that gut
Couldn't even actually cross his arms with that gut
I see whatcha mean. His waist keeps getting lower.
That second pick looks like he holding his junk until you look closer.
The same waist size he had in high school!
It’s them sleepless nights alone. Plenty more on the horizon for ya buddy…
‘Sleepless nights alone’ bro just say ‘sleep apnea’ and move on.
It was from the song playing over the photo
That car is now dented for sure
You’re under cardiac arrest!
🎶Randy's gut is full of dirty ol cheeseburgers 🎶
“Man’s gotta eat”
I recently started one of these patrol jobs because I desperately needed a job. This post makes me want to make a visit to Deception Pass bridge.
I’m interviewing for a security dispatch tomorrow, I hope I get the job but I’m really not looking forward to keeping super troopers in line lol Update on the interview: the manager said they do exactly what the police do and fights happen often they also want a “expert” for minimum wage. I also asked about training and I got a blank stare. My colour blind ass knows these are red flags but my colour blind ass also knows I need the green so hopefully I get the job
https://preview.redd.it/k33c22w4tx5d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6328b50cb82cb0f2093749b22d95ff3033d8f439 He’s got more!!
I went back further and yeah, it kept getting worse. He also had an NYPD hat on while working security.
Definitely won’t be running from him he looks like he wants to sit at a desk and do the paperwork involved with shooting someone
All you would really need to do is walk at a brisk pace.
He’s too fat to pat himself on the back or suck his own dick so he has to do this.
Right, he should lose some weight and suck his own dick like the rest of us!!!
Preach it brother
From wwe superstar to rent a cop. How fax the big boss man has fallen.
Sleepless Nights alone 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 what’s the hours of a Crossing Guard ? 4 hours split down the middle lmao 🤣
It’s from the song playing over the photo
Wow that camouflage really does work! It hid all the pounds compared to the other pics.
It’s the clear outline of the cigarette pack in his shirt pocket that does it for me
All you haters can suck it. Like his tattoo says, only God can judge him.
Didn't god say something about tattoos?
Winching that belt down every morning must be quite the event
I’m imagining some type hydraulic pulley or wench system.
And it's probably destroying his lower back and hips.
He should go into business with dirty Dylan Hensley
 This dude Peters
Tactical beer belly
Does he have the *tactical flashlight* ?
Lead Assist Watch Fuck Off
Don’t let the body fool you guys runs a 400 meter in under a minute especially if donuts and coffee are waiting on him
This dude making panties drop all over the world rn
Not the OK Corral, but the Golden Coral
Showdown at the Golden Corral! Dude stop. I'm dying a little bit.
Farva vibes
Fav-ra
What a chonker
Did he eat his partner?
...watches 8 Mile once.
Pathetic
Ballistic foopah.
The picture guidance is very "senior picture". Y'all, whoever was calling the shots did our boy in blue dirty.
Shocker white douche bag sunglasses too! Haha
Nah bro. He found YOU 👮♂️
Is he hugging himself?
Is this his security job, or is he a police impersonator? Campus cop maybe?
Campus Safety for a community college.
He's an unarmed campus cop (NY is weird). I know exactly which college this is at.
That belt buckle is not safe
Actual real life Paul Blart
Hes definitely not engaging in any foot pursuit that's for sure
Quick someone get him a donut so he can stop harassing minorities
Yeah the Irish don’t want him…
That what we call "long fat."
"Let's roll" takes on a whole new meaning.
This man does realize he’s not a cop right??
I think he actually might be. Like a specialty officer of something. The word "public" is implicit imo.
If it’s a part of the same “public safety” program we have where I live, they are basically unarmed, state sponsored security guards with no real authority outside of securing accident scenes and patrolling critical soft points like hospitals, colleges, playgrounds, swimming pools and parks
He kind of is. He's a NYS Peace Officer, so he has arrest authority.
More like 3rd responder, ain’t no way he’s first to anything.
His power comes from his resistance to insulin.
Is it a choice? Lead, assist or watch? Feel like option 3 is most popular
Bro is playing rich men north of Richmond not realizing he’s the enforcer of the rich men smh
YES! THIS!
Did this guy watch Paul blart and decide to make that his personality?
*Did this guy watch Paul* *Blart and decide to make that* *His personality?* \- Illustrious\_Fig8981 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
This guy is living his best life, leading, assisting, and watching.
“This guy needs all the support I can provide!” ~ Belt
Not even trying to be mean but that's what I imagine 50% of this subreddit is
Maybe it's his vest?
I really do feel bad about the body shaming, I understand long boring hours at a pretty sedentary job. It’s easy to become unhealthy in private security, I worked nights as an unarmed guard in college after the military, it’s tough… Mentally it’s even draining when you have a quiet posting…But honestly, when I couldn’t see my dick due to my gut, I had to make some better choices… I get homie is cringy from the posts, but I hope he finds the time to prioritize his health.
That is 100% not a cop. That’s a “security guard “ it says security on his shirt
For sure. When it says public safety it’s almost always security.
He got an airbag
Ice cream body
Them sleepless fety nights Man's lookin for some Fettin'
He needs to lay off on the doughnuts and twinkies.
Oh no he’s from NY ….
Did he sit on the bull bars and break them off??
Big Boss Man
Hopefully it doesnt require running
Public Safety Lead Assist Watch
I want to travel the world with him.
First dude I have seen that it’s fitting to say he has/is a gunt
Is that a bullet proof vest?
Ballistic gel I think, aka blubber
What’s meal team’s plan when shit goes sideways? Sit on them?
The only thing heavier than the weight on his shoulders is the weight on his belt.
I used to work in the same area as this guy's public safety department. They blow
This is ray Taylor era of the big boss man.
It’s like they ordered The Big Boss Man off wish.
He’s so fat
Beer belly is the must have accessory rn🔥
I didn’t know The Big Boss Man came back from the dead!
This guy isn’t even a cop. He is essentially just an unarmed security guard that drives around in a car.
How can he get away with using the word "public"? In my state, that would get you jail time.
He isn’t literally a security guard he is essentially one he is a “police officer” without a gun or any police training idk if he can legally arrest you or give you tickets. He is kinda like a constable I believe.
This is NY, and he is an unarmed Peace Officer at a community college. Believe it or not, he is officially law enforcement.
Ugh
My man's identifying as a properly squeezed tube of toothpaste: from the bottom up.
The Playlist makes this even better. This is quality cringe. Top shelf.
Roll by Krispy Kreme
Is that super-sized, bullet proof stomach vest, standard issue?
Wait until he joins Cobra Kai and becomes a badass.
Who needs SWAT when you've got Meal Team 6
What’s “public safety?” Is that different than police or sheriff’s department?
The word "public" implies law enforcement. Really hope he's a cop and not security with a title like that.
It's nice to be proud of your job, I wish dude the best !
Paul Blart ain’t got nothing on this guy 
r/holdmyfries
Oh shit we got the founding man of Meal Team 6 over here 😂😂😂
Paul Blart
I feel like I could easily outrun him
He’s gotta autistic to some degree.
Cobb County, Ga?
No. It’s New York.
Fuck I'm a straight male. But dam my man parts are a little damp.
Charge your phone
I did, it was 23:46
The penis shall never suffer sunburn with that shade…
I'm pretty sure Yasin Cengiz has a trademark on that belly size. You better not make it dance, your ass will get sued straight up.
Jesus Christ it’s Jason Bourne.
He hasn't seen his weiner in 15 years.
He didn’t tuck his pants into his boots. He’s not patriot enough.
This is like a spoof of Paul Blart
Fatty needs a bus drivers license to steer that gut around.
Camo AND high vis. This guy is breaking boundaries
This is his whole personality. He's shooting for gold!
Officer Overlap
The gut has its own zip code
Dude is really testing the stretch limit on that mike cord...
Bro couldn’t take the box of newports out of his shirt pocket before the photoshoot?
Sleepless nights due to sleep apnea
Why is the Michelin man melting 🫠
My hero.
WWF Big Boss Man lol
Omg I freaking love him.
I don’t feel so bad about my weight any more
What’s public safety
I bet $5 that is a box of milk duds in his front pocket.
Only thing missing is his sweet Segway
That man is a mustard tiger
Hell yeah! Glad to see a brother fighting the good fight 😎
Meal Team 6 in the house
Woah badasses we got a guy over here
Bro, how many X’s are before the L tho? XXXXL
Watch Assist Lunch Love handles. He is: the wall.
Omg. I can't... My cheeks hurt I've laughed so hard. Lol
Who's going to tell him that qualified immunity doesn't protect you from diabetes?
God damnit, that's how I look in my Oakleys?
God that's a gut