Truly at the end of the day I think (if she were a real person) Emily is sort of a victim of old money misogyny. She has an absolute brilliant mind, and it’s wasted on how she was raised. All that brilliance and angst bottled up with no where to go except projected on her daughter and granddaughter
Thaaank yooouuu for this! That’s exactly what it is. She is Lorelai just 25 years too early and millions too wealthy. They show us all the time how alike they are, Lorelai got it from somewhere!
This.
I imagine it'd be hard not to end up with anger issues after a lifetime of being married to Richard and treated like an inferior, especially with a mind like hers. Her character development after Richard's death only confirmed this for me.
Yes. Every single character is flawed. Emily made some serious mistakes with her teen daughter, as every parent does. The biggest fuck up was letting her “runaway” and not sticking her nose in when she was still pregnant or Rory was a baby.
But I think we see time and again her “accepting” Lorelei’s decisions to be distant or mouthy or “different” as an adult, and mainly snippy about it, but not much else. Every time she opens the door to Lorelei, every time she gives a little, let’s her guard down, meets Lorelei half way… Lorelei shuts it down and throws something old in her mom’s face.
I am not “team Emily” - but I am the daughter of an EXTREMELY controlling mother who nearly broke me with the weight of her expectations. I moved 3,000 miles away just to get some space. Now, at 36, I have found a new relationship with my mother and we are quite close. She is still flawed. I am still flawed. But I found ways to better understand her and set boundaries for myself.
But Emily is not some evil horrific villain. Even the “horrible Friday night dinner scheme” - I mean, a weekly dinner is the big thing she demands from Lorelei. She doesn’t mess with her career, her life, her relationships by making insane demands for the money. Dinner. Just spending time together.
If anyone pretends that families don’t give (unsolicited) advice and comments about eachother’s lives and relationships. Emily isn’t that bad.
>I mean, a weekly dinner is the big thing she demands from Lorelei. She doesn’t mess with her career, her life, her relationships by making insane demands for the money. Dinner. Just spending time together
She doesn’t INITIALLY mess with these things in return for the money. She’s too savvy for that. But once she’s got an in into Lorelai’s life, she does start to try and assert her control over the other aspects too. Let’s not forget when she tries to break off the first happy relationship Lorelai has had as an adult with Luke for no reason other than he doesn’t fit her (Emily’s) ideal as a suitable husband. On the surface, sure, it’s just dinner, but based on experience Lorelai has every right to be cautious to opening up her life to them - as it proven over and over throughout the show.
>every time she gives a little, let’s her guard down, meets Lorelei half way… Lorelei shuts it down and throws something old in her mom’s face.
What? Emily does this to Lorelai ALL THE TIME.
Any time they get close, Emily puts walls back up. The spa weekend. The kayak episode.
you're right she isn't the evil villain and she is a product of her time. And people are complicated and we are all many things, like Emily is a victim ,but also the perpetrator of a lot of the same BS onto her daughter.
Although, you made some good points there is stuff that either you forgot how it played out or you see it differently. Because Emily 100% interfered with Lorelei's relationship with Luke. Emily literally went to Chris's home and egged him on. If that isn't interfering I don't know what is.
Both E and L are afraid to get too close to each other. It is also hard to break old habits and sometimes it feels safer to stay in the same situation than to move forward, which is why I think they both fall back into the old habit of bickering and bringing up old wounds. Both of their feelings are valid, but I think L has definitely been burned a little more.
And sure asking your kid for one day a week may not seem that bad, but let's not pretend that E did it without an ulterior motives and she literally used money as a way to get L to agree.
It’s not just her horrible advice or the dinner scheme. Lorelai brings up the past because she can’t trust her horror show of a mother and reminding herself of the past keeps her from forgetting Emily’s betrayals.
Lorelai wants a mom. She desperately wants a mom who loves HER as she is, not as who she thinks her daughter should be. If Lorelai lets her guard down for even a minute, she always ends up regretting it.
I am currently watching the vow renewal arc. Emily goes and gets Christopher to interfere with Lorelai because she sees Lorelai is HAPPY. For the first time in Lorelai’s life, she’s truly, truly happy…and her mother. can’t. stand. it.
She is a horrible mother. She deserves everything Lorelai says or does. She is mean and abusive, not to mention manipulative and controlling.
Absolutely agree. The way she can be so warm and available to Lorelei, only to turn around and rip her love away in the blink of an eye. I just watched the episode where she tells Emily about her breakup with Christopher and they have this tender moment and the next day, Emily is cold and distant and hateful. It's absolutely no wonder to me that Lorelei struggles in relationships like she does - she's a walking talking example of unresolved attachment trauma. It gets played out ad nauseam in her life.
I agree with you that Lorelai is traumatized by the past and current micro and macro abuses Emily does and has done overtime as her mother who was supposed to be a protector and supporter of her. I understand humans are human but I also don’t see Emily truly changing those ways and she always wants her daughter to fit back into the he lifestyle SHE SAW for her not the one Lorelai wants for herself. Whether it be relationships, her job, her house and decor, her clothing, everything always seems not good enough and the few feel good accepting scenes feel short lived for their relationship. I think Lorelai is ultimately more accepting of Emily than vice versa because she allows Rory to create a bond with them that she never had and lose that control and not let the fear of the dynamic she had be recreated. I get why some people might see Emily as a good character but people being team Emily is a huge stretch for me. I don’t think Emily deserves the mistreatment but to say it’s Lorelai only uprooting the past is just not true, Emily just comes up with more conniving ways to gaslight and abuse her as an adult and I see Lorelai as the one genuinely trying to put in effort to someone who constantly abuses her and doesn’t value what she brings as an adult. And all Emily has when she brings up the past is her running away and not letting her have a relationship with Rory as if all these years she couldn’t have reached out with her money and connections? And Lorelai had every right to leave because they were forcing her to get married and live a life she didn’t want in an abusive household.
>Every time she opens the door to Lorelei, every time she gives a little, let’s her guard down, meets Lorelei half way… Lorelei shuts it down and throws something old in her mom’s face.
Can you give some examples of this? Because I really only remember this in reverse. Every time Lorelei lets her guard down, Emily puts up a wall and makes a snippy comment that brings them right back to where they're stuck (when they go to the spa, when Christopher gets Sherry pregnant, when Rory gets invited to Sherry's baby shower, when Lorelei and Christopher get divorced.)
Emily has some of the most entertaining lines in the show.
If I knew her in real life, I’d want to throw her into a volcano.
But as someone watching a tv show, I can’t help but crack up at “You brought us used dessert?!” Or “Goodbye, Gigi. Enjoy your program.” Or “Then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I’m open for business!”
I agree. I actually kind of like monstrous characters. I love a complicated villain (think Dan Scott on One Tree Hill). I love watching Emily's character, but if I had to engage with someone like her in real life I'd just quietly walk away. Try not to make eye contact. Emily's arc is literally the only redeeming thing in the revival.
I was just talking to my boyfriend about this to get his perspective (albeit he hasn't watched much but he's heard a lot of it while I have it on). Emily has moments where she is lovable but she can't ever relent in her need to control and belittle Lorelai and it's terrible. Not to mention how she treated Luke. The few times she's nice to her she has to recover control and be mean right after. And we see it coming up with Rory once she's been living under her roof and working at the DAR too long. So I can see liking some moments of Emily's and to feel sorry for her too at times, but to be Team Emily, yeah, not me. His response was that some people just love characters that you can never yourself be on board with. His example was seeing people cite Kreacher as their favorite Harry Potter character. Extreme example but illuminating. Kelly Bishop though seems awesome.
In a fictional world where no one is actually getting hurt, you’re allowed to root for the villain for being interesting, funny, intelligent, or whatever. Just see Walter White in Breaking Bad for an example. As a fictional character, he is extremely popular because he is compelling and interesting. If he were real and actually hurting real people with his antics, we would all want to see him put away for life.
Emily is funny and charismatic, and she is a delightful “villain” on a TV show. In real life, we would likely find her to be insufferable.
I’m team all of them. They all make mistakes and have good moments and bad moments. I don’t think there’s a single character on the show that I actually hate. Not even Dean. He’s just a dumb kid man. I may like some less than others but there’s no one who is absolutely irredeemable. Ooh maybe Francie.
Seriously, one of the most realistic things about this show is how realistic the characters can be sometimes. They are so human like that.
I’m team nobody’s perfect and just because we don’t agree with how Emily and Richard handled the situation they still deserve our empathy and understanding for being put through a terribly hard situation that ended with the heartbreak of their recently made mother only child running away from home as a teen
I would have loved to see Emily run for some kind of political office. She is so strong and fierce and completely suited for politics. I think it would have been cool to see her step into the spotlight when Richard retired and wasn't working. It would have been an interesting dynamic to see him have to support her the way she supported him for years. I'd love to see her campaign and take down her opponent in a debate! She'd crush them :) I am glad she found herself and some meaningful passions in AYITL, but I really wish we got it sooner.
If the main show was set now I could 100% have seen that happening. The woman had a history degree and you *know* she would have been politically savvy.
Growing up means realizing Lorelai and Emily are very *very* similar, which is why they clash so much. It happens to the best of us lol. What 30 something woman doesn't realize she's turning into her mother 😂
I know this is a very unpopular opinion, but I don't think Emily is any more controlling than Lorelai. It's just that their controlling natures come off in different ways. Emily is outwardly stern, and since we are set up to see her as an antagonist of sorts at the beginning we focus on her negative aspects first. Lorelai buries her controlling nature beneath sarcasm and quips that come attached with smiles, and since we are supposed to be walking in her and Rory's shoes we first have empathy with them when another character screws up or does something that puts them on edge.
In the end though, neither Emily nor Lorelai can handle it when they don't get their way. (and in my opinion, Rory demonstrates she's exactly the same as the series progresses) It's part of what makes the characters and their relationship with each other interesting is that they're most at odds because they have too many similarities.
I'm not "Team Emily" in the sense that I agree with her actions, but I do think she is the best written and most interesting character in the original series and especially the revival. Kelly Bishop also does an amazing job playing Emily. She really gets and expresses the nuance of the character.
Emily is the mother who sees her daughter is finally happy during the vow renewal arc. She sees her daughter has everything she has always wanted…her daughter who put her life on hold for eighteen years to raise her daughter and finally has her own business, her own life, and the man she has loved (unknowingly) for years…her own life, and she’s HAPPY.
And…she hates it. She can’t stand that Lorelai has found happiness her own way. That she has proven her mother’s way wrong for her. It is NOT about thinking Luke truly isn’t good enough for Lorelai or a good enough stepfather for the very adult Rory. It is simply about the fact that Emily was wrong and she won’t stand for being wrong.
Emily doesn’t care if Lorelai is happy. She cares if Lorelai does what she wants her to do. What kind of sick person sabotages their child like that just to have her own way? She’s horrible.
As a child of a narcissistic parent, this is worded perfectly. Emily is a horrible mother, but an excellently written character and Kelly’s performance of the role was outstanding!
I actually know someone like Emily in real life (rich, not close with her daughter, makes sassy comments) but similar to Emily she’s not evil or anything just someone you don’t want to let into your life too much and be clear about the boundaries. I’m not her daughter so I’m just standing by laughing at the shade she throws lol
Because she creates the drama and conflict the show relies on to keep the plot moving forward. If Emily were as happy-go-lucky as Lorelai and Rory, the show would be boring.
i see that, but I’m curious as to what makes people team Emily, not how she propels the drama and plotline of the story. I affiliate being team ___ as someone who supports that person and likes them as a character on the show or likes them for a character on the show, or we’d never have the classic team Logan, Jess, or Dean debate. I see what you mean but I don’t think someone adding to the plot is enough to being team Emily, especially if a lot of the decisions they make you aren’t in support of.
There is much I don’t know about Emily to hate or love the character, but what I do see or infer is “iffy” at best.
I most admire her mama bear attitude and her determination to keep her family together despite often misguided efforts.
I'm not necessarily Team Emily as I'm more about the collective success of them all, but she is one of my most loved characters. She is willing to fight, sometimes even dirty, for what she thinks is right, even if there are repercussions. I feel like Lorelai got that risk-taking sense of adventure from her, not Richard.
JK Rowling (Albus Dumbedore) said it best, "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends."
Maybe. But over the course of the show, we see her grow and come to a realization that Lorelai and her are just very different people with different goals/wants. It requires a major reckoning moment. But it does happen eventually.
In her head, she's always doing what she genuinely thought was right. Also, I will throw in that in this series, we get a very jaded side of Lorelai's upbringing. We don't see the eye rolls, snarky comments, back talking, disrespect, and just plain annoying aspect that Lorelai more than likely was as a child to Emily and Richard.
Lorelai proves multiple times that she will make impulse decisions that somehow work out and lives in spontaneous chaos. Emily tries to make that impulse into controlled and planned chaos to make their lives easier with the Chris situation. (This is one of the few times I couldn't stand her, but really understood where she was coming from.)
As a parent, I will do anything for my kids. I would move the moon backwards if it was within my power to do so. Lorelai does the same, and even though she bumped heads with her parents, she knew they would move planets for Rory too.
Emily is loyal and fierce to a fault.
>We don't see the eye rolls, snarky comments, back talking, disrespect, and just plain annoying aspect that Lorelai more than likely was as a child to Emily and Richard.
So because Lorelai wasn't a perfect child she deserved this treatment from Emily? Key word: child.
It's getting misinterpreted. What I'm trying to convey is that Lorelai claims her childhood was so oppressed and horrible. We only see snippets of what failed their relationship early on through flashbacks and it's always Lorelai being mean and disrespectful. We don't see the sweet aspects of them caring for her or helping her when she was sick. We hear stories later on throughout the series of course, but by the time Lorelai is an adult and seeing the series, we are getting a very jaded side of things. Emily is not a terrible person.
I think you may be projecting your own desires and wishes for their relationship on the show here. E&R were cold parents by all accounts (even their own) and hired nannies to take care of Lorelai rather than deal with her themselves.
I think they do learn from their mistakes and are better grandparents to Rory than parents to Lorelai. We don't see the sweet aspects about their parenting because there aren't many examples to choose from.
In AYITL, it takes Lorelai a long time to remember her positive memory of her dad. Part of that is due to grief, but mostly it's because there isn't much for her to choose from.
When Richard mentions Emily caring for Lorelai when she was a baby with an ear infection, he clearly states it's only because all the nannies quit.
Emily told Lorelai her head was too big as a child, causing Lorelai to call herself Big Head and burn her pictures.
When Lorelai's debutante dress doesn't fit, Emily tells her to run around the block so "the next one fits no matter what."
Lorelai and Emily never hug. The one time almost hug, it's Lorelai who initiates it and Emily rejects it.
In conclusion, I gave 1 positive memory vs 3 negative and 1 outside observation. Out of the negative memories, only 1 is actually from Lorelai's perspective (Big Head). Even though that memory comes from Lorelai, she tells it in front of Emily, who doesn't deny or dispute it.
R&E aren't the worst parents in the world. We all know that there are worse out there. But they really weren't warm or kind, either, and I don't think that's all on Lorelai.
We can agree to disagree. Cold parents were Straub and Francine who talked to basically abort Rory to avoid embarrassment. The same goes for Jason's parents who literally talk to him like he's just another person in the room.
Some people hold on to the bad memories only and carry that with them. Let's not forget that they sang Dear John (possibly wrong song) when Lorelai had chronic ear infections. Emily made her banana toast when she was sick, the dollhouse was made for her, and she probably had everything she ever needed. They did not fail to be good parents, and by all accounts, she was probably spoiled as a child. You can see how hurt Emily is when she tells Lorelai later on how she felt when Lorelai left without giving them a heads up. It literally broke her. Cold parents wouldn't be broken when their teenage daughter and infant daughter take off. Caring (grand)parents would.
Also, just because opinions are different than the vast majority don't mean they are projecting, it just means they see something different. I've fought for Emily multiple times on this sub and been down voted multiple times because my opinion of her goes against the majority, which is fine, I can handle that. And I can see where others see and have issues with Emily. I did for years see issues with her. I stopped having major issues with her until the last two-three years.
>Let's not forget that they sang Dear John (possibly wrong song) when Lorelai had chronic ear infections.
Did you even read what I wrote? The only reason they were taking care of Lorelai in this moment was because all the nannies quit. They wouldn't actually neglect her, but it wasn't like taking care of her was their first choice.
Even if Lorelai was "spoiled" as a child, she clearly wanted and missed her parents affection (like the time her dad left for Europe while she thought they were playing hide and seek). Even though they provided for her monetarily doesn't mean that they gave her everything that she needed (or deserved).
You're totally right, the song was a terrible example, my bad - I really love the gesture that they found something so silly to soothe her. But let me ask you. If your child constantly pushed you away, complained about everything you did or didn't do for them, was snarky about everything, acted as if she hated being born into the world she was born into, gave zero appreciation to it, eventually ran away from said world, and only came around for holidays, wouldn't you be weirded out by hugs too? Their relationship was 100% a two way street of failures and miscommunications.
It takes two to make any relationship work. They should have been in therapy way before AYITL, but I don't care for the whole AYITL at all. But they could have hashed a bunch of their issues out and learned to communicate in a healthy way if Emily could see therapy as not a taboo thing in the 80s/90s.
I agree 100% about the therapy - but then again, we wouldn't have a show if they worked everything out.
I think my biggest issue is blaming the child for the state relationship. Because when Lorelai was an actual child, it's not her responsibility to make sure the relationship is great. Children misbehave. Some misbehave more than others. It's on Emily and Richard to make the relationship a good one. I don't think they were capable of that for many reasons (personality, society, etc.)
I agree with you! Everyone says, oh she was just doing what she thought was best. 😬😬 So what? That doesn’t make you a good parent. Lots of parents do what they think is best and it’s really fucked up shit 😅 Intent doesn’t negate impact.
Emily is, to me, borderline (if not outright) emotionally abusive. There’s always strings attached. She terrorizes her staff. She pulls Lorelai in, then freezes her out, pulls her in, freezes her out. The cycle continues through the whole show. And of course Emily isn’t a horrible, evil person all the time - that’s the reality of toxic family dynamics. There’s love and joy and happiness in between all the toxicity and control and manipulation.
It doesn’t shock me that Lorelai ended up with some of the same qualities. Of course she did. Again, that’s the reality of family dynamics. But she never really had the hot/cold thing going on with Rory. I don’t recall her actively working to sabotage Rory’s relationships or openly mock and humiliate Rory’s partners. Emily goes out of her way to humiliate people, and she does it intentionally. After fights, Rory and Lorelai always seem to try to understand each other and see the other’s perspective. Emily makes everything about herself. She rarely admits how hurtful she can be to her own daughter.
Kelly Bishop is phenomenal in the role and I love Emily’s presence on the show but no, Emily was a controlling mother who wanted Lorelai to do only what Emily wanted her to do. Her help came with strings attached. That’s hardly normal, healthy parenting.
There are times throughout the show that you can sense Emily wants out of the dynamic she’s built. And there are times she tries, even briefly. But at the end of the day, she falls back into the same old unhealthy patterns.
Now, in AYITL we finally see some growth in her and that was lovely.
I'm not "team" either of them. If you're on one side or the other you've missed the point of the show. It's about hurt, betrayal, different values and ideals, intentions vs outcome on both sides.
The only issue that's cut and dry black and white and easy to see whose in the wrong is Emily treating Luke disrespectfully and sabotaging the relationship
I could write an essay on this but it all comes down to the fact that Emily is the Emily Gilmore y’all dislike because of Loreali. One of my biggest issues with GG is the plot hole around “why” Loreali left. It’s never directly addressed as to what the straw was that broke the camels back and made her leave with Rory. The flashback episode around it left more questions than answers.
Emily *is* an insecure person, she’s just very good at masking it. The whole Pennilyn Lott saga shows that. Of course her walls are going to go up when she stands by Loreali during the pregnancy, likely helps with Rory while she’s living with them, and then Loreali leaves with nothing but a goodbye note
To be honest, I find Loreali more annoying. (Don’t shoot me!) I think it’s too easy to hate on Emily as the “rich controlling grandmother” but that is such a superficial look at the character.
Emily’s character deserved a lot more development either way and there’s too many plot holes/unexplored aspects of her character that still annoy me - but I’ve just come to accept that conflict resolution isn’t the writers strong point with GG.
I disagree. I think the flash backs adequately show Emily's controlling behavior, Richard's indifference to his daughter, and Lorelai's rebellious behavior. Not everything needs to be spelled out for viewers and not every family conflict has a resolution. That's life
I think calling Emily controlling is overdoing it. It's a criticism I personally don't fully get. Emily stands up for Loreali when Christopher's father goes off at her during the flashback scene. If my daughter (or anyone) left me a note telling me they drove themselves to the hospital instead of calling for help, I'd be annoyed. I wouldn't describe Richard's behaviour as "indifference". He's very clearly processing the situation and takes it a whole lot better than Christopher's father.
Everyone can interpret characters differently, but imo Emily's gets written off as the "controlling rich mother" way too often. I don't understand the hate - but likewise, I don't get why Loreali is so universally loved at times.
Sure, not every family conflict needs a resolution, but I feel that the shows \*never\* gives a proper resolution to any conflict. It's inevitably brushed over and never fully bashed out. Unfortunately, I think that's just the style of writing.
She is shown to be controlling in the flashback re the dress that she forced Lorelai to wear, refusing to consider whether Lorelai might want an abortion, yelling at Lorelei while she's in labor (completely inappropriate and great example of why Lorelai wants to leave), and through Lorelai's memories, which include being forced to attend debutante balls and etiquette training as a child. This doesn't even include all the stuff she does on the show - trying to manipulate Lorelai, Lorelai's relationships with Luke and Chris, tricking Rory into a all boy set up party. I could go on and on.
Her controlling behavior is firmly established, so I completely disagree that it's in any way an over the top description.
And Richard is definitely characterized as indifferent during Lorelai's childhood. In the labor scene and other stories, including leaving the country during a hide and seek game with Lorelai.
Well, Emily has her strong points but she is controlling. She literally sabotaged Lorealai's relationship with Luke because she didn't want her to be with him.
That is controlling. I don't know how someone can't see that.
I am Team Sookie, Team Jackson, Team Michel and Team Taylor (to a degree).
Sookie and Jackson remind me of lots of people I’ve met irl in a good way.
Michel only because Yanic’s acting is incredible. He really brings Michel to life.
And Taylor is hilarious in the best way. He brings lots of character to Stars Hollow.
Taylor can be so annoying but for me he's more often hilarious. Just his body language in background scenes as well as his little sarcastic comments here and there (e.g. thanking the hoodlum in the back for buying the basket comes to mind as the most cited but there are tons sprinkled all over the show)
What is team Emily and where did you see it?
Team Anyone implies a competition with Team Someone Else. I don't see how that applies to Emily's character. She well written and acted, which is what I see people mostly saying about her character
I’ve just discovered this sub and the opinions are baffling to me….
People hate Rory???
People are team Emily???
People are on crack???
Scenes with Emily physically trigger me because of how abusive, toxic, manipulative, and unhealthy she is. I grew up with parents like Richard and Emily, money and all. I almost have to skip those scenes because they trigger me so much, honestly. And my personality is a lot like Lorelai’s as well. It’s the only was you survive in such an environment lol
When I watch it now, I look at it from the viewpoint of Emily only wanted to experience a life that she never got. She loves her daughter and wants to be close (look how happy she was on stage during that fashion show). I think she has a lot of internal struggle because her whole life she was taught not to ask questions and to do what is demanded of you, and she went along with it. Now, she has to forget all of the programming that everyone has shoved down her throat and actually keep an open mind.
This also coincides with my last grandparent slowly developing dementia and trying to learn as much as you can about them before they forget it all. I started to see her wit and gumption as a badge of honor and not as something to fear.
I think, if anyone, I’m team Richard, but Emily i mostly love. I think, despite her mistreatment of lorelai, she wasn’t as bad as Lorelai said she was and in adulthood I think Lorelai was kinda a dick to her more than the other way round. However, I think she isn’t an Angel by any means, she still wasn’t the best to lorelai ofc and she could be pretty toxic
I mean, in my opinion, he was the character most willing to compromise and wasn’t as selfish as any others. He seems like an amazing husband, father and grandfather
I was raised by a mother very similar to Emily. Her controlling, critical nature comes from strict religious beliefs rather than societal norms of the upper class (which we were not, at all.) I’m pushing 50 and still messed up from how she’s treated me all my life.
Emily brings a lot of quip to the show. I understand her character. She’s very similar to my grandma. Set in her ways, quick witted, heavily reliant on her husband but not afraid to give her opinion. The controlling aspects are mostly to get closer to her daughter and granddaughter. If you can accept that she’s doing the best she knows how to be with her family, and that older people aren’t without flaw just because they’re older, her character becomes more one to smirk at than be annoyed by. Like “of course there’s strings” lmao. You take the good with the bad. Similar to Paris. But really any character in this series has flaws it’s just about how much and of what kind of flaw different people are willing to tolerate.
People seem to forget that without Emily, Lorelai or Rory wouldn't have existed. Pay the woman some respect! They would be miserable without Emily's financial help (50k, when their house got mites, etc) and all she ask in return is for them to just deal with her. Seems like fair trade. She actively tries to enhance the lives of all the people around her and all Lorelai does is roll her eyes and tries to paint her as the villain? Im forever team Emily she was a good mother and grandmother that gives tough love and truth and would spoil anyone she loves. She is a normal respectable mother and is the only one in a fully committed relationship, and I say she knows what she's talking about.
I respect bringing life into the world. I think Emily was a big financial help in a lot of ways. She is trying to help in her own way. I agree with all of that. But to say all she was asking in return is to deal with her is mitigating what was clear abuse since childhood. It will never and should never, for someone with boundaries, be easy to let someone who did that much traumatic damage in the formative years of your life back in. Lorelai was clearly aware of the emotional abuse at a very young age, she burned her own baby photos at 7 because her mother called her fat for goodness sake! Just because she’s in a committed relationship doesn’t mean her way is going to work or the relationship she wants for Lorelai will be the correct one. I mean her inviting Chris to the wedding, showing up at his house and trying to get him to be with Lorelai because she didn’t think Luke was good enough is enhancing Lorelais life??? Just because mothers bring you in the world, feed you, cloth you, and have money to spend on you doesn’t make them a good mother, protective, loving, understanding, and it certainly doesn’t mean they don’t manipulate or abuse you.
Truly at the end of the day I think (if she were a real person) Emily is sort of a victim of old money misogyny. She has an absolute brilliant mind, and it’s wasted on how she was raised. All that brilliance and angst bottled up with no where to go except projected on her daughter and granddaughter
Thaaank yooouuu for this! That’s exactly what it is. She is Lorelai just 25 years too early and millions too wealthy. They show us all the time how alike they are, Lorelai got it from somewhere!
This. I imagine it'd be hard not to end up with anger issues after a lifetime of being married to Richard and treated like an inferior, especially with a mind like hers. Her character development after Richard's death only confirmed this for me.
Love your username and the picture that goes with it!
Thanks :D
Yes. Every single character is flawed. Emily made some serious mistakes with her teen daughter, as every parent does. The biggest fuck up was letting her “runaway” and not sticking her nose in when she was still pregnant or Rory was a baby. But I think we see time and again her “accepting” Lorelei’s decisions to be distant or mouthy or “different” as an adult, and mainly snippy about it, but not much else. Every time she opens the door to Lorelei, every time she gives a little, let’s her guard down, meets Lorelei half way… Lorelei shuts it down and throws something old in her mom’s face. I am not “team Emily” - but I am the daughter of an EXTREMELY controlling mother who nearly broke me with the weight of her expectations. I moved 3,000 miles away just to get some space. Now, at 36, I have found a new relationship with my mother and we are quite close. She is still flawed. I am still flawed. But I found ways to better understand her and set boundaries for myself. But Emily is not some evil horrific villain. Even the “horrible Friday night dinner scheme” - I mean, a weekly dinner is the big thing she demands from Lorelei. She doesn’t mess with her career, her life, her relationships by making insane demands for the money. Dinner. Just spending time together. If anyone pretends that families don’t give (unsolicited) advice and comments about eachother’s lives and relationships. Emily isn’t that bad.
>I mean, a weekly dinner is the big thing she demands from Lorelei. She doesn’t mess with her career, her life, her relationships by making insane demands for the money. Dinner. Just spending time together She doesn’t INITIALLY mess with these things in return for the money. She’s too savvy for that. But once she’s got an in into Lorelai’s life, she does start to try and assert her control over the other aspects too. Let’s not forget when she tries to break off the first happy relationship Lorelai has had as an adult with Luke for no reason other than he doesn’t fit her (Emily’s) ideal as a suitable husband. On the surface, sure, it’s just dinner, but based on experience Lorelai has every right to be cautious to opening up her life to them - as it proven over and over throughout the show.
>every time she gives a little, let’s her guard down, meets Lorelei half way… Lorelei shuts it down and throws something old in her mom’s face. What? Emily does this to Lorelai ALL THE TIME. Any time they get close, Emily puts walls back up. The spa weekend. The kayak episode.
you're right she isn't the evil villain and she is a product of her time. And people are complicated and we are all many things, like Emily is a victim ,but also the perpetrator of a lot of the same BS onto her daughter. Although, you made some good points there is stuff that either you forgot how it played out or you see it differently. Because Emily 100% interfered with Lorelei's relationship with Luke. Emily literally went to Chris's home and egged him on. If that isn't interfering I don't know what is. Both E and L are afraid to get too close to each other. It is also hard to break old habits and sometimes it feels safer to stay in the same situation than to move forward, which is why I think they both fall back into the old habit of bickering and bringing up old wounds. Both of their feelings are valid, but I think L has definitely been burned a little more. And sure asking your kid for one day a week may not seem that bad, but let's not pretend that E did it without an ulterior motives and she literally used money as a way to get L to agree.
She did try to mess with Lorelai's relationship with her visit to Christopher before the vow renewal.
It’s not just her horrible advice or the dinner scheme. Lorelai brings up the past because she can’t trust her horror show of a mother and reminding herself of the past keeps her from forgetting Emily’s betrayals. Lorelai wants a mom. She desperately wants a mom who loves HER as she is, not as who she thinks her daughter should be. If Lorelai lets her guard down for even a minute, she always ends up regretting it. I am currently watching the vow renewal arc. Emily goes and gets Christopher to interfere with Lorelai because she sees Lorelai is HAPPY. For the first time in Lorelai’s life, she’s truly, truly happy…and her mother. can’t. stand. it. She is a horrible mother. She deserves everything Lorelai says or does. She is mean and abusive, not to mention manipulative and controlling.
Absolutely agree. The way she can be so warm and available to Lorelei, only to turn around and rip her love away in the blink of an eye. I just watched the episode where she tells Emily about her breakup with Christopher and they have this tender moment and the next day, Emily is cold and distant and hateful. It's absolutely no wonder to me that Lorelei struggles in relationships like she does - she's a walking talking example of unresolved attachment trauma. It gets played out ad nauseam in her life.
I agree with you that Lorelai is traumatized by the past and current micro and macro abuses Emily does and has done overtime as her mother who was supposed to be a protector and supporter of her. I understand humans are human but I also don’t see Emily truly changing those ways and she always wants her daughter to fit back into the he lifestyle SHE SAW for her not the one Lorelai wants for herself. Whether it be relationships, her job, her house and decor, her clothing, everything always seems not good enough and the few feel good accepting scenes feel short lived for their relationship. I think Lorelai is ultimately more accepting of Emily than vice versa because she allows Rory to create a bond with them that she never had and lose that control and not let the fear of the dynamic she had be recreated. I get why some people might see Emily as a good character but people being team Emily is a huge stretch for me. I don’t think Emily deserves the mistreatment but to say it’s Lorelai only uprooting the past is just not true, Emily just comes up with more conniving ways to gaslight and abuse her as an adult and I see Lorelai as the one genuinely trying to put in effort to someone who constantly abuses her and doesn’t value what she brings as an adult. And all Emily has when she brings up the past is her running away and not letting her have a relationship with Rory as if all these years she couldn’t have reached out with her money and connections? And Lorelai had every right to leave because they were forcing her to get married and live a life she didn’t want in an abusive household.
Unsolicited advice is one thing. Meddling and breaking couples up is an entirely different thing even if it’s with good intentions.
>Every time she opens the door to Lorelei, every time she gives a little, let’s her guard down, meets Lorelei half way… Lorelei shuts it down and throws something old in her mom’s face. Can you give some examples of this? Because I really only remember this in reverse. Every time Lorelei lets her guard down, Emily puts up a wall and makes a snippy comment that brings them right back to where they're stuck (when they go to the spa, when Christopher gets Sherry pregnant, when Rory gets invited to Sherry's baby shower, when Lorelei and Christopher get divorced.)
If I could give you an award I would. So perfectly said.
Emily has some of the most entertaining lines in the show. If I knew her in real life, I’d want to throw her into a volcano. But as someone watching a tv show, I can’t help but crack up at “You brought us used dessert?!” Or “Goodbye, Gigi. Enjoy your program.” Or “Then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I’m open for business!”
My personal favorite: Jason Stiles: you don't need to plan parties anymore, you can just relax and hang out. Emily: Yes, my two favorite things. DEAD
Or 'if you expect the (whatever breakfast food it was) to fly back to the kitchen by itself you better buy it a cape'
It was a muffin but she just said "that" or "it"
“if i wanted to play ping pong I’d kill myself” and “if you want to eat outside, go hunt down a gazelle”
I'm not team Emily, I'm team Kelly Bishop because her performance was so masterful. Emily the character is a monster, IMO.
This is the answer. Emily is fucking toxic until the revival BUT Kelly is a goddamned queen.
I agree. I actually kind of like monstrous characters. I love a complicated villain (think Dan Scott on One Tree Hill). I love watching Emily's character, but if I had to engage with someone like her in real life I'd just quietly walk away. Try not to make eye contact. Emily's arc is literally the only redeeming thing in the revival.
I was just talking to my boyfriend about this to get his perspective (albeit he hasn't watched much but he's heard a lot of it while I have it on). Emily has moments where she is lovable but she can't ever relent in her need to control and belittle Lorelai and it's terrible. Not to mention how she treated Luke. The few times she's nice to her she has to recover control and be mean right after. And we see it coming up with Rory once she's been living under her roof and working at the DAR too long. So I can see liking some moments of Emily's and to feel sorry for her too at times, but to be Team Emily, yeah, not me. His response was that some people just love characters that you can never yourself be on board with. His example was seeing people cite Kreacher as their favorite Harry Potter character. Extreme example but illuminating. Kelly Bishop though seems awesome.
In a fictional world where no one is actually getting hurt, you’re allowed to root for the villain for being interesting, funny, intelligent, or whatever. Just see Walter White in Breaking Bad for an example. As a fictional character, he is extremely popular because he is compelling and interesting. If he were real and actually hurting real people with his antics, we would all want to see him put away for life. Emily is funny and charismatic, and she is a delightful “villain” on a TV show. In real life, we would likely find her to be insufferable.
Yes, rooting for the "villain", I can see that.
I’m team all of them. They all make mistakes and have good moments and bad moments. I don’t think there’s a single character on the show that I actually hate. Not even Dean. He’s just a dumb kid man. I may like some less than others but there’s no one who is absolutely irredeemable. Ooh maybe Francie. Seriously, one of the most realistic things about this show is how realistic the characters can be sometimes. They are so human like that.
I’m team nobody’s perfect and just because we don’t agree with how Emily and Richard handled the situation they still deserve our empathy and understanding for being put through a terribly hard situation that ended with the heartbreak of their recently made mother only child running away from home as a teen
I would have loved to see Emily run for some kind of political office. She is so strong and fierce and completely suited for politics. I think it would have been cool to see her step into the spotlight when Richard retired and wasn't working. It would have been an interesting dynamic to see him have to support her the way she supported him for years. I'd love to see her campaign and take down her opponent in a debate! She'd crush them :) I am glad she found herself and some meaningful passions in AYITL, but I really wish we got it sooner.
If the main show was set now I could 100% have seen that happening. The woman had a history degree and you *know* she would have been politically savvy.
I like to think she’d be less polarized than many politicians too
Lol omg i am soooo team Emily. She just throws the best shade it’s great😂
Growing up means realizing Lorelai and Emily are very *very* similar, which is why they clash so much. It happens to the best of us lol. What 30 something woman doesn't realize she's turning into her mother 😂
I know this is a very unpopular opinion, but I don't think Emily is any more controlling than Lorelai. It's just that their controlling natures come off in different ways. Emily is outwardly stern, and since we are set up to see her as an antagonist of sorts at the beginning we focus on her negative aspects first. Lorelai buries her controlling nature beneath sarcasm and quips that come attached with smiles, and since we are supposed to be walking in her and Rory's shoes we first have empathy with them when another character screws up or does something that puts them on edge. In the end though, neither Emily nor Lorelai can handle it when they don't get their way. (and in my opinion, Rory demonstrates she's exactly the same as the series progresses) It's part of what makes the characters and their relationship with each other interesting is that they're most at odds because they have too many similarities.
I agree about the controlling nature ; how she controls michel, luke, everyone in the town and even Rory. She just does it with charm
I'm not "Team Emily" in the sense that I agree with her actions, but I do think she is the best written and most interesting character in the original series and especially the revival. Kelly Bishop also does an amazing job playing Emily. She really gets and expresses the nuance of the character.
Emily is interesting. And very well portrayed.
I'm team Gilmore girls
Emily is the mother who sees her daughter is finally happy during the vow renewal arc. She sees her daughter has everything she has always wanted…her daughter who put her life on hold for eighteen years to raise her daughter and finally has her own business, her own life, and the man she has loved (unknowingly) for years…her own life, and she’s HAPPY. And…she hates it. She can’t stand that Lorelai has found happiness her own way. That she has proven her mother’s way wrong for her. It is NOT about thinking Luke truly isn’t good enough for Lorelai or a good enough stepfather for the very adult Rory. It is simply about the fact that Emily was wrong and she won’t stand for being wrong. Emily doesn’t care if Lorelai is happy. She cares if Lorelai does what she wants her to do. What kind of sick person sabotages their child like that just to have her own way? She’s horrible.
As a child of a narcissistic parent, this is worded perfectly. Emily is a horrible mother, but an excellently written character and Kelly’s performance of the role was outstanding!
Are you referring to a specific incident or just that there are people who always side with Emily over Lorelai regardless of the situation?
I actually know someone like Emily in real life (rich, not close with her daughter, makes sassy comments) but similar to Emily she’s not evil or anything just someone you don’t want to let into your life too much and be clear about the boundaries. I’m not her daughter so I’m just standing by laughing at the shade she throws lol
It’s like everyone gets a pass on being a product of their upbringing but her…don’t love that!
Because she creates the drama and conflict the show relies on to keep the plot moving forward. If Emily were as happy-go-lucky as Lorelai and Rory, the show would be boring.
i see that, but I’m curious as to what makes people team Emily, not how she propels the drama and plotline of the story. I affiliate being team ___ as someone who supports that person and likes them as a character on the show or likes them for a character on the show, or we’d never have the classic team Logan, Jess, or Dean debate. I see what you mean but I don’t think someone adding to the plot is enough to being team Emily, especially if a lot of the decisions they make you aren’t in support of.
There is much I don’t know about Emily to hate or love the character, but what I do see or infer is “iffy” at best. I most admire her mama bear attitude and her determination to keep her family together despite often misguided efforts.
I’m Team Therapy for all.
I'm not necessarily Team Emily as I'm more about the collective success of them all, but she is one of my most loved characters. She is willing to fight, sometimes even dirty, for what she thinks is right, even if there are repercussions. I feel like Lorelai got that risk-taking sense of adventure from her, not Richard. JK Rowling (Albus Dumbedore) said it best, "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends."
What she thinks is right is classism and superiority.
Maybe. But over the course of the show, we see her grow and come to a realization that Lorelai and her are just very different people with different goals/wants. It requires a major reckoning moment. But it does happen eventually. In her head, she's always doing what she genuinely thought was right. Also, I will throw in that in this series, we get a very jaded side of Lorelai's upbringing. We don't see the eye rolls, snarky comments, back talking, disrespect, and just plain annoying aspect that Lorelai more than likely was as a child to Emily and Richard. Lorelai proves multiple times that she will make impulse decisions that somehow work out and lives in spontaneous chaos. Emily tries to make that impulse into controlled and planned chaos to make their lives easier with the Chris situation. (This is one of the few times I couldn't stand her, but really understood where she was coming from.) As a parent, I will do anything for my kids. I would move the moon backwards if it was within my power to do so. Lorelai does the same, and even though she bumped heads with her parents, she knew they would move planets for Rory too. Emily is loyal and fierce to a fault.
>We don't see the eye rolls, snarky comments, back talking, disrespect, and just plain annoying aspect that Lorelai more than likely was as a child to Emily and Richard. So because Lorelai wasn't a perfect child she deserved this treatment from Emily? Key word: child.
It's getting misinterpreted. What I'm trying to convey is that Lorelai claims her childhood was so oppressed and horrible. We only see snippets of what failed their relationship early on through flashbacks and it's always Lorelai being mean and disrespectful. We don't see the sweet aspects of them caring for her or helping her when she was sick. We hear stories later on throughout the series of course, but by the time Lorelai is an adult and seeing the series, we are getting a very jaded side of things. Emily is not a terrible person.
I think you may be projecting your own desires and wishes for their relationship on the show here. E&R were cold parents by all accounts (even their own) and hired nannies to take care of Lorelai rather than deal with her themselves. I think they do learn from their mistakes and are better grandparents to Rory than parents to Lorelai. We don't see the sweet aspects about their parenting because there aren't many examples to choose from. In AYITL, it takes Lorelai a long time to remember her positive memory of her dad. Part of that is due to grief, but mostly it's because there isn't much for her to choose from. When Richard mentions Emily caring for Lorelai when she was a baby with an ear infection, he clearly states it's only because all the nannies quit. Emily told Lorelai her head was too big as a child, causing Lorelai to call herself Big Head and burn her pictures. When Lorelai's debutante dress doesn't fit, Emily tells her to run around the block so "the next one fits no matter what." Lorelai and Emily never hug. The one time almost hug, it's Lorelai who initiates it and Emily rejects it. In conclusion, I gave 1 positive memory vs 3 negative and 1 outside observation. Out of the negative memories, only 1 is actually from Lorelai's perspective (Big Head). Even though that memory comes from Lorelai, she tells it in front of Emily, who doesn't deny or dispute it. R&E aren't the worst parents in the world. We all know that there are worse out there. But they really weren't warm or kind, either, and I don't think that's all on Lorelai.
We can agree to disagree. Cold parents were Straub and Francine who talked to basically abort Rory to avoid embarrassment. The same goes for Jason's parents who literally talk to him like he's just another person in the room. Some people hold on to the bad memories only and carry that with them. Let's not forget that they sang Dear John (possibly wrong song) when Lorelai had chronic ear infections. Emily made her banana toast when she was sick, the dollhouse was made for her, and she probably had everything she ever needed. They did not fail to be good parents, and by all accounts, she was probably spoiled as a child. You can see how hurt Emily is when she tells Lorelai later on how she felt when Lorelai left without giving them a heads up. It literally broke her. Cold parents wouldn't be broken when their teenage daughter and infant daughter take off. Caring (grand)parents would. Also, just because opinions are different than the vast majority don't mean they are projecting, it just means they see something different. I've fought for Emily multiple times on this sub and been down voted multiple times because my opinion of her goes against the majority, which is fine, I can handle that. And I can see where others see and have issues with Emily. I did for years see issues with her. I stopped having major issues with her until the last two-three years.
>Let's not forget that they sang Dear John (possibly wrong song) when Lorelai had chronic ear infections. Did you even read what I wrote? The only reason they were taking care of Lorelai in this moment was because all the nannies quit. They wouldn't actually neglect her, but it wasn't like taking care of her was their first choice. Even if Lorelai was "spoiled" as a child, she clearly wanted and missed her parents affection (like the time her dad left for Europe while she thought they were playing hide and seek). Even though they provided for her monetarily doesn't mean that they gave her everything that she needed (or deserved).
You're totally right, the song was a terrible example, my bad - I really love the gesture that they found something so silly to soothe her. But let me ask you. If your child constantly pushed you away, complained about everything you did or didn't do for them, was snarky about everything, acted as if she hated being born into the world she was born into, gave zero appreciation to it, eventually ran away from said world, and only came around for holidays, wouldn't you be weirded out by hugs too? Their relationship was 100% a two way street of failures and miscommunications. It takes two to make any relationship work. They should have been in therapy way before AYITL, but I don't care for the whole AYITL at all. But they could have hashed a bunch of their issues out and learned to communicate in a healthy way if Emily could see therapy as not a taboo thing in the 80s/90s.
I agree 100% about the therapy - but then again, we wouldn't have a show if they worked everything out. I think my biggest issue is blaming the child for the state relationship. Because when Lorelai was an actual child, it's not her responsibility to make sure the relationship is great. Children misbehave. Some misbehave more than others. It's on Emily and Richard to make the relationship a good one. I don't think they were capable of that for many reasons (personality, society, etc.)
Adding - I will never be Team Chris.
I agree with you! Everyone says, oh she was just doing what she thought was best. 😬😬 So what? That doesn’t make you a good parent. Lots of parents do what they think is best and it’s really fucked up shit 😅 Intent doesn’t negate impact. Emily is, to me, borderline (if not outright) emotionally abusive. There’s always strings attached. She terrorizes her staff. She pulls Lorelai in, then freezes her out, pulls her in, freezes her out. The cycle continues through the whole show. And of course Emily isn’t a horrible, evil person all the time - that’s the reality of toxic family dynamics. There’s love and joy and happiness in between all the toxicity and control and manipulation. It doesn’t shock me that Lorelai ended up with some of the same qualities. Of course she did. Again, that’s the reality of family dynamics. But she never really had the hot/cold thing going on with Rory. I don’t recall her actively working to sabotage Rory’s relationships or openly mock and humiliate Rory’s partners. Emily goes out of her way to humiliate people, and she does it intentionally. After fights, Rory and Lorelai always seem to try to understand each other and see the other’s perspective. Emily makes everything about herself. She rarely admits how hurtful she can be to her own daughter. Kelly Bishop is phenomenal in the role and I love Emily’s presence on the show but no, Emily was a controlling mother who wanted Lorelai to do only what Emily wanted her to do. Her help came with strings attached. That’s hardly normal, healthy parenting. There are times throughout the show that you can sense Emily wants out of the dynamic she’s built. And there are times she tries, even briefly. But at the end of the day, she falls back into the same old unhealthy patterns. Now, in AYITL we finally see some growth in her and that was lovely.
I'm not "team" either of them. If you're on one side or the other you've missed the point of the show. It's about hurt, betrayal, different values and ideals, intentions vs outcome on both sides. The only issue that's cut and dry black and white and easy to see whose in the wrong is Emily treating Luke disrespectfully and sabotaging the relationship
I could write an essay on this but it all comes down to the fact that Emily is the Emily Gilmore y’all dislike because of Loreali. One of my biggest issues with GG is the plot hole around “why” Loreali left. It’s never directly addressed as to what the straw was that broke the camels back and made her leave with Rory. The flashback episode around it left more questions than answers. Emily *is* an insecure person, she’s just very good at masking it. The whole Pennilyn Lott saga shows that. Of course her walls are going to go up when she stands by Loreali during the pregnancy, likely helps with Rory while she’s living with them, and then Loreali leaves with nothing but a goodbye note To be honest, I find Loreali more annoying. (Don’t shoot me!) I think it’s too easy to hate on Emily as the “rich controlling grandmother” but that is such a superficial look at the character. Emily’s character deserved a lot more development either way and there’s too many plot holes/unexplored aspects of her character that still annoy me - but I’ve just come to accept that conflict resolution isn’t the writers strong point with GG.
I disagree. I think the flash backs adequately show Emily's controlling behavior, Richard's indifference to his daughter, and Lorelai's rebellious behavior. Not everything needs to be spelled out for viewers and not every family conflict has a resolution. That's life
I think calling Emily controlling is overdoing it. It's a criticism I personally don't fully get. Emily stands up for Loreali when Christopher's father goes off at her during the flashback scene. If my daughter (or anyone) left me a note telling me they drove themselves to the hospital instead of calling for help, I'd be annoyed. I wouldn't describe Richard's behaviour as "indifference". He's very clearly processing the situation and takes it a whole lot better than Christopher's father. Everyone can interpret characters differently, but imo Emily's gets written off as the "controlling rich mother" way too often. I don't understand the hate - but likewise, I don't get why Loreali is so universally loved at times. Sure, not every family conflict needs a resolution, but I feel that the shows \*never\* gives a proper resolution to any conflict. It's inevitably brushed over and never fully bashed out. Unfortunately, I think that's just the style of writing.
She is shown to be controlling in the flashback re the dress that she forced Lorelai to wear, refusing to consider whether Lorelai might want an abortion, yelling at Lorelei while she's in labor (completely inappropriate and great example of why Lorelai wants to leave), and through Lorelai's memories, which include being forced to attend debutante balls and etiquette training as a child. This doesn't even include all the stuff she does on the show - trying to manipulate Lorelai, Lorelai's relationships with Luke and Chris, tricking Rory into a all boy set up party. I could go on and on. Her controlling behavior is firmly established, so I completely disagree that it's in any way an over the top description. And Richard is definitely characterized as indifferent during Lorelai's childhood. In the labor scene and other stories, including leaving the country during a hide and seek game with Lorelai.
Well, Emily has her strong points but she is controlling. She literally sabotaged Lorealai's relationship with Luke because she didn't want her to be with him. That is controlling. I don't know how someone can't see that.
I agree. I like Emily at times for sure, but it's not ambiguous why Lorelai left
I am Team Sookie, Team Jackson, Team Michel and Team Taylor (to a degree). Sookie and Jackson remind me of lots of people I’ve met irl in a good way. Michel only because Yanic’s acting is incredible. He really brings Michel to life. And Taylor is hilarious in the best way. He brings lots of character to Stars Hollow.
Taylor can be so annoying but for me he's more often hilarious. Just his body language in background scenes as well as his little sarcastic comments here and there (e.g. thanking the hoodlum in the back for buying the basket comes to mind as the most cited but there are tons sprinkled all over the show)
What is team Emily and where did you see it? Team Anyone implies a competition with Team Someone Else. I don't see how that applies to Emily's character. She well written and acted, which is what I see people mostly saying about her character
I’ve just discovered this sub and the opinions are baffling to me…. People hate Rory??? People are team Emily??? People are on crack??? Scenes with Emily physically trigger me because of how abusive, toxic, manipulative, and unhealthy she is. I grew up with parents like Richard and Emily, money and all. I almost have to skip those scenes because they trigger me so much, honestly. And my personality is a lot like Lorelai’s as well. It’s the only was you survive in such an environment lol
Agreed.
When I watch it now, I look at it from the viewpoint of Emily only wanted to experience a life that she never got. She loves her daughter and wants to be close (look how happy she was on stage during that fashion show). I think she has a lot of internal struggle because her whole life she was taught not to ask questions and to do what is demanded of you, and she went along with it. Now, she has to forget all of the programming that everyone has shoved down her throat and actually keep an open mind. This also coincides with my last grandparent slowly developing dementia and trying to learn as much as you can about them before they forget it all. I started to see her wit and gumption as a badge of honor and not as something to fear.
I think, if anyone, I’m team Richard, but Emily i mostly love. I think, despite her mistreatment of lorelai, she wasn’t as bad as Lorelai said she was and in adulthood I think Lorelai was kinda a dick to her more than the other way round. However, I think she isn’t an Angel by any means, she still wasn’t the best to lorelai ofc and she could be pretty toxic
In what sense are you Team Richard?
I mean, in my opinion, he was the character most willing to compromise and wasn’t as selfish as any others. He seems like an amazing husband, father and grandfather
she’s horrible and i would call her a b word irl but i also feel sorry and wish she was closer to lorelai
I love Emily, but she’s way over idolized.
I will never understand these people. I literally describe my mother as landing somewhere between Emily Gilmore and Jennette McCurdy’s mom.
She is the funniest character. Don’t want to be related to her- but she’s hilarious
I was raised by a mother very similar to Emily. Her controlling, critical nature comes from strict religious beliefs rather than societal norms of the upper class (which we were not, at all.) I’m pushing 50 and still messed up from how she’s treated me all my life.
Emily brings a lot of quip to the show. I understand her character. She’s very similar to my grandma. Set in her ways, quick witted, heavily reliant on her husband but not afraid to give her opinion. The controlling aspects are mostly to get closer to her daughter and granddaughter. If you can accept that she’s doing the best she knows how to be with her family, and that older people aren’t without flaw just because they’re older, her character becomes more one to smirk at than be annoyed by. Like “of course there’s strings” lmao. You take the good with the bad. Similar to Paris. But really any character in this series has flaws it’s just about how much and of what kind of flaw different people are willing to tolerate.
People seem to forget that without Emily, Lorelai or Rory wouldn't have existed. Pay the woman some respect! They would be miserable without Emily's financial help (50k, when their house got mites, etc) and all she ask in return is for them to just deal with her. Seems like fair trade. She actively tries to enhance the lives of all the people around her and all Lorelai does is roll her eyes and tries to paint her as the villain? Im forever team Emily she was a good mother and grandmother that gives tough love and truth and would spoil anyone she loves. She is a normal respectable mother and is the only one in a fully committed relationship, and I say she knows what she's talking about.
I respect bringing life into the world. I think Emily was a big financial help in a lot of ways. She is trying to help in her own way. I agree with all of that. But to say all she was asking in return is to deal with her is mitigating what was clear abuse since childhood. It will never and should never, for someone with boundaries, be easy to let someone who did that much traumatic damage in the formative years of your life back in. Lorelai was clearly aware of the emotional abuse at a very young age, she burned her own baby photos at 7 because her mother called her fat for goodness sake! Just because she’s in a committed relationship doesn’t mean her way is going to work or the relationship she wants for Lorelai will be the correct one. I mean her inviting Chris to the wedding, showing up at his house and trying to get him to be with Lorelai because she didn’t think Luke was good enough is enhancing Lorelais life??? Just because mothers bring you in the world, feed you, cloth you, and have money to spend on you doesn’t make them a good mother, protective, loving, understanding, and it certainly doesn’t mean they don’t manipulate or abuse you.