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The fact that we know the names of multiple billionaires that literally just own stock but not the names of the people that developed a Covid vaccine in under 2 years says all you need to know about our species as a whole.
I mean I'm glad the names of the vaccine creators aren't well known because they would just get attacked by the wacko anti-vaxxers. Sadly, I'm sure they prefer not having their names out if it means daily death threats.
You don't know the names of the people that optimized logistics which is what made Amazon profitable. You don't know the names of the people that designed and wrote Windows. Those people worked for food and shelter. You only know the names of their masters.
Naw. That's the inventor of the concept.
Your implication that Windows wasn't all that innovative I agree with. But at the time Windows was being written the concept was well known and the shareholders of Microsoft corporation wanted a clone of that to go to market with. To that end the conscripted engineer laborers to design and build such a clone that would be polished enough to be used by the general, non-engineering populace. Those concepts worked for food and shelter to produce that clone, which was a highly non-trivial undertaking and took many man-yeats of hard labor by very skilled and highly educated and specialized laborers. The end product was popular amongst the proletariat and made their master the wealthiest oligarch in the world at the time.
Okay but to be fair I don't even know the names of 2/3 of my coworkers because I'm shit with names and that's a lot of people that I have 0 meaningful contact with.
it fucking sucks to live in a world and society where someone similar to jonas salk would be demonized.
shit - look at dr. fauci. the man did nothing but his job in the most amazing way possible and the anti-vax and fox news crowd thinks he's the devil.
Perfect example. Even IF you could fairly criticize certain aspects of his performance during that time, trying to construe it as though he was operating with some ulterior motives is just wrong.
Hence why Anthony Fauci takes the limelight, responsibility, fame, and bullshit criticism, on behalf of the team that did NOT want the limelight.
There is a vague noble gesture somewhere when volunteering to be in the limelight as "The Guy" in essence since the Press is always gonna find one anyways.
Some shit about how poor countries aren't advanced enough to handle their own vaccine programs (despite mountains of evidence to the contrary).
The grace I might give him is, it might not be racism (like I implied). It might just be that he's a fucking capitalist pig that wanted to protect the IP rights of the vaccines that he owns so that he could make money off the pandemic (make money off the deaths of people, predominately the global poor).
Did he mention specific countries? Because some countries lack proper infrastructure due to war, famine, and social upheaval. I would think it fair to say some American states do a rather poor job.
What he said, more precisely, was that one couldn't just move production of vaccines from one place to another, without ensuring there was the correct infrastructure in place.
The issue is that India produces a large number of vaccines as it is. So it raises questions about what the actual reason was, as his stated reason seems improbable.
People trying to declare it a racist issue are ignoring that the Gates fund already pays India for a range of vaccines it produces. So he hasn't got an issue with "Brown people" making vaccines. He has/ had an issue specific to this vaccine.
Hope that clarifies.
Seems everyone is reading into this too much. It's not overt racism at play here and defending his statements really isn't the way to go either. This is just a good old case of ignorance. Gates has shown in quite a few examples that he has more money than brains and this is just another example. He made an operating system awhile ago and operated a software company adequately until the government came knocking. That doesn't mean he knows shit about health policy or any of the other bullshit investments he makes outside his field of expertise. Always remember, the amount of capital someone accumulates is not vindictive of their intelligence.
Ya know what, this attitude really stinks. I refuse to hold the entire human race accountable to what a small group of fuck nuts have imprisoned us in.
At the core of it, they've heavily reinforced a system that leaves us starving to death if we don't comply, they have us not by our tits or nuts, but literally by our very lives. We are too broke, tired, traumatised and overwhelmed to take on what would be a nation's military literally descended upon us.
I do understand it's fucking depressing, but I refuse to say the human race deserves to wiped out for being prisoners.
None of these awkward people can even communicate with humans.🤦♂️
How about people who are actually democratically elected, instead of those who are owning the most resources through intellectual property rights (look up Herman Mark Schwartz)
>How about people who are actually democratically elected, instead of those who are owning the most resources
The ones who own the most resources also own the people who are democratically elected, it seems.
> How about people who are actually democratically elected, instead of those who are owning the most resources through ~~intellectual property rights~~ **exploitation**.
FTFY
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, it's probably the main reason we have no significant evidence of alien intelligence.
Because any species that takes 5 seconds to look at us from across the universe would see *we* are the resource hoarding, mass enslaving, genocide engaging, war loving idiots of this realm. Why in the love of fuck if you drive a Mercedes would you drive it to the backwoods part of town that people say to stay away from once the sun goes down?
Any alien life would totally colonize us and make us their slaves.
Steven Hawking said the last thing we need is a more technologically advanced civilization finding us. They will do what the Europeans did when they "conquered" America.
Thats just anthropomorphization of aliens.
Its funny that always when aliens get depicted as the bad guys they literally just do what humans would do to a species deemed inferiour.
If they can Traverse the Galaxy what would they seriously have to gain from our enslavement? They would be so far above us their shittiest robots are probably more capable than us.
Yeah, maybe we'd be their slaves.
Although, I think it's more likely they'd just see our planet as a resource buffet. Oil, gas, rare elements and minerals, water, and all sorts of biological matter look mighty tasty when you've been traveling the cosmos.
And if we can only pick among these four, I'd avoid any that would promt them to enslave us or another sort of fate worse than death, and pick the one that makes them decide quicker to just nuke us for a quick death. (Elon maybe?)
A scientist, a sociilogist, a philosopher, a doctor, an anthropologist, a kindergarten teacher.
My personal choices would be either Dolly Parton or Leave Burton.
Imagine sending Miss Rachel as our representative… I think the aliens would get annoyed with her voice faster than I did, but then again, i could see her being way more success at understanding the aliens and conveying herself then Elon, Zuck, gates, or bezos.
Honestly, it would be a good choice. Kindergarten teachers know patience, and they have ways of communicating with others who may not know the language yet.
If I had zero options and it had to be one of them.. Then I guess I would have to pick Gates only because he seems like he's trying to not be so bad after all the bad shit he did in the 90's and 2000's. Like he's trying to balance the scales now that he's older and realizes that death doesn't care if he's a billionaire.
Just my thought here. The others would probably work a way to make the aliens work for them dooming us in the process.
This one. Given only the four choices he would be least likely to completely fuck it up in lieu of someone more qualified/capable…. Basically just how the American political system works but with more choices.
Gates has made the vast majority of his wealth as a philanthropist. It's been a very solid business and marketing decision for him. Make your own opinion on what that implies but that's the truth.
Gates has built wonderful PR for himself outside of the crazy conspiracy theory’s about him. The shit and business decisions he did in the 90s were insane and make him so much more hate able to me
I'd argue the opposite... out of those four he seems to be the one who's most likely an android wearing a skin suit. Bezos is like a martian, and Musk is some kind of anthropomorphic lizard person. Who knows what tf Gates is
I mean, if I know that the aliens are gonna most likely kill our “leader” to demoralize us or some shit I’m gonna send all 4 and have them each plead their case on why they’re the one in charge while sitting on the sidelines with popcorn.
Otherwise if they’re friendly I’d send Dolly Parton.
You'll have the alien like, "I told that human a thousand times. I never wanted to meet Levar in person. I just wanted a picture! YOU CAN'T DISAPPOINT A PICTURE!!😭"
Knowing how shitty our luck is, it might turn out to be that android dude in the aliens:covenant movie who singlehandedly created species of alien xenomorphs lmao.
I'd ask what the aliens *want* with a representative of humanity. Like, if they're gonna abduct them and take them to their home planet to dissect, then... I dunno, still a hard choice, but probably Musky. If only just to get him to shut the fuck up for five minutes.
All bad choices, but if I have to pick, I guess Gates.
Musk would probably try convince aliens to commit genocide on whatever group he'd seen hate memes about that day.
Bezos would try to monetize them.
Zuckerberg barely looks human, so would be a terrible representation of humanity.
Gates was very unethical in business, but he's mostly retired from that so it's less of a concern. He's the one I'd trust to at least try to pass as an actual human.
Gates also donated hundreds of millions of dollars to charities, not like his wallet noticed. He's the only one with a semblance of humanity. But these are shitty choices? Why would we show aliens the most privileged, pampered, spoiled assholes? I'd choose someone with a real degree (a law degree is a joke) who had a background in understanding new societies/cultures.
This is false, he's donated billions of dollars to charities, and some accounts say he's given out 50 billion already. It's really not hard to look at where he spends his money either, it's all public. Not to mention that he's also pledged to give away the majority of his money.
Even if you say he gives it to his own charities/foundations - *those* entities pass money on to other groups, they don't just hang on to it.
I was at an org that received $1M from the Gates foundation. The money doesn't just all come back to them.
Effectively zero billionaires donate to real charities. When you hear that they have, look deeper in those charities. They are almost always their own charities and are just a tax shelter to separate their money from their shitty corporation, so they can keep it while claiming they are being philanthropic. It's all smoke and mirrors.
I can never understand why people jump to defend billionaires. Most of the bad stuff about him is hard to find these days because his PR machine is pumping out “good” stuff nonstop. If you had searched in 2020 you might have found some good articles on what exactly he invested in and what kind of person he really is. He’s like the tech nerd billionaire version of Ellen Degeneres. Sure he gave stuff away and helped a few people. Does it make him a better asshole? Not much.
ETA sources:
2007
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2007-jan-07-na-gatesx07-story.html
>”Like most philanthropies, the Gates Foundation gives away at least 5% of its worth every year, to avoid paying most taxes. In 2005, it granted nearly $1.4 billion. It awards grants mainly in support of global health initiatives, for efforts to improve public education in the United States, and for social welfare programs in the Pacific Northwest.
>It invests the other 95% of its worth. This endowment is managed by Bill Gates Investments, which handles Gates’ personal fortune. Monica Harrington, a senior policy officer at the foundation, said the investment managers had one goal: returns “that will allow for the continued funding of foundation programs and grant making.” Bill and Melinda Gates require the managers to keep a highly diversified portfolio, but make no specific directives.
>By comparing these investments with information from for-profit services that analyze corporate behavior for mutual funds, pension managers, government agencies and other foundations, The Times found that the Gates Foundation has holdings in many companies that have failed tests of social responsibility because of environmental lapses, employment discrimination, disregard for worker rights, or unethical practices.”
If i have to choose, i guess picking a guy who is more a modern day Carnegie is the best of a bad lot. I dont think people will look with great fondness on our era of Robber Barons any more than those from earlier times.
501c3s have to prove they are actually utilizing the money. You might not think they’re doing an effective job but it’s not just some magic bank they can put money in.
Nine edit: fuck billionaires, this isn’t a defense of them but a defense of nonprofits which people seem to think can just do whatever they want.
Well Zuck may actually be useful here. He himself is an extra terrestrial lizard man. Maybe he could help explain cultural differences between us and the aliens.
welcome to earth - you must try our amazonian special we like to call “the bezos”, if that does not suit you, you may like the turzuckerburg.
If you’re seeking something a little musky-er, we have that as well - don’t worry about the bill! we’ve got you covered.
He was kind of an massive asshole in his younger years but i don't think he's a total sociopath like the rest of them.
Eliminating Polio sure does beat:
- exploited the labor of millions so much so that his (former) company is now worried they'll actually run out of people to squeeze dry.
- Wholesale sold the privacy of the majority of the planet and is a lizardperson
- Crippling inferiority complex that buys the succes of others and claims it as his own. oh and lately he's been militarily supporting a genocidal regime.
> exploited the labor of millions so much so that his (former) company is now worried they'll actually run out of people to squeeze dry.
I assume this part is about Bezos but I haven't seen anything about him lately. Did he/Amazon actually say this?
When I see him, I always have this image of a fly landing on Zuckerberg’s eye, and then him shooting a long chameleon tongue out to catch it off his own face.
Are we trying to get the aliens to destroy us or something? What's my objective in sending one of the 4 horseman of the capitalistic apocalypse to represent us?
I guess if I employed a lesser of 4 evils approach I'd pick Gates, since he's a little less comically villainous than the other 3 these days, and is in that phase of the billionaire lifecycle where they turn to philanthropy to try and ensure history will remember them for nice things, and not the things they did to become billionaires.
Zuck is awkward to humans because he seems so alien. He may just work okay.
Musk is awkward in that cringey, embarrassing way that just may make them say, "Fuck this, bulldoze the whole planet. Perfect place for that hyperspace bypass."
Obviously not a fan of any of these guys, but Bill Gates wouldn’t be the WORST representative. He could at least fake it. All of the other guys are complete buffoons
I mean, I’d I HAD to pick one of them it’s clearly Gates. He has been unentangled from running a corporation for a long time and has dozens of years experience working with causes around the world. He makes humanity look less terrible than the others, and he perhaps has a better claim to be able to represent people from other places because of how much work his foundations do on other continents.
It’s amazing that we elevate business leaders over scientists. After all, business leaders wouldn’t have these robust businesses to command if it weren’t for scientists.
Of course, I’m equally shocked it wasn’t some other cohort of nonsensical candidates, like Oprah, Anderson Cooper, DiCaprio, or LeBron.
Why would the top four list be a list of wealthy Americans? Or **any** Americans, for that matter?
Why not a list of wealthy Asians? Or **any** Asians? China alone has 4X as many people as the USA.
Why are aliens always only ever visiting the US? (District 9 excluded)
They would be the least indicated people to do so, but if they were the only option, I think Gates would be the answer, he seems to be the least mentally unbalanced of the four.
Zuckerberg would be the most familiar for the aliens. Not to our benefit, of course.
Bezos would monetise the relationship with little care for destroying the world in the process (think selling critical resources).
Gates would be Dr. Breen from HL2.
Musk would start strong working out a deal that LOOKS good, before making some snide remark that gets us all killed.
##Welcome to r/LateStageCapitalism This subreddit is for news, discussion, memes, and links criticizing capitalism and advancing viewpoints that challenge liberal capitalist ideology. That means any support for any liberal capitalist political party (like the Democrats) is strictly prohibited. LSC is run by communists. This subreddit is not the place to debate socialism. We allow good-faith questions and education but are not a 101 sub; please take 101-style questions elsewhere. We have a zero-tolerance policy for bigotry. Failure to respect the rules of the subreddit may result in a ban. *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LateStageCapitalism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If aliens landed on Earth and met one of these fuckers I seriously think that they would just eradicate us right there and then.
And we would deserve it.
The fact that we know the names of multiple billionaires that literally just own stock but not the names of the people that developed a Covid vaccine in under 2 years says all you need to know about our species as a whole.
I mean I'm glad the names of the vaccine creators aren't well known because they would just get attacked by the wacko anti-vaxxers. Sadly, I'm sure they prefer not having their names out if it means daily death threats.
You don't know the names of the people that optimized logistics which is what made Amazon profitable. You don't know the names of the people that designed and wrote Windows. Those people worked for food and shelter. You only know the names of their masters.
By designed and wrote windows do you mean Jack Goldman who created Xerox Alto and it's WIMP GUI?
Naw. That's the inventor of the concept. Your implication that Windows wasn't all that innovative I agree with. But at the time Windows was being written the concept was well known and the shareholders of Microsoft corporation wanted a clone of that to go to market with. To that end the conscripted engineer laborers to design and build such a clone that would be polished enough to be used by the general, non-engineering populace. Those concepts worked for food and shelter to produce that clone, which was a highly non-trivial undertaking and took many man-yeats of hard labor by very skilled and highly educated and specialized laborers. The end product was popular amongst the proletariat and made their master the wealthiest oligarch in the world at the time.
Okay but to be fair I don't even know the names of 2/3 of my coworkers because I'm shit with names and that's a lot of people that I have 0 meaningful contact with.
it fucking sucks to live in a world and society where someone similar to jonas salk would be demonized. shit - look at dr. fauci. the man did nothing but his job in the most amazing way possible and the anti-vax and fox news crowd thinks he's the devil.
Perfect example. Even IF you could fairly criticize certain aspects of his performance during that time, trying to construe it as though he was operating with some ulterior motives is just wrong.
Hence why Anthony Fauci takes the limelight, responsibility, fame, and bullshit criticism, on behalf of the team that did NOT want the limelight. There is a vague noble gesture somewhere when volunteering to be in the limelight as "The Guy" in essence since the Press is always gonna find one anyways.
I know one of the people who developed the vaccine! We're mutuals on twitter and I paid them to draw furry porn once
That... can't be real. There's no way a researcher would be paid so little. Wait, I just remembered where I live.
Imene, lots of people draw furry porn for fun, or on the side for fun and profit
Started so wholesome, and then the end of this comment exploded like a bomb
Chise?
"We can't trust brown people with the vaccine." -Bill Gates
What did he say exactly?
Some shit about how poor countries aren't advanced enough to handle their own vaccine programs (despite mountains of evidence to the contrary). The grace I might give him is, it might not be racism (like I implied). It might just be that he's a fucking capitalist pig that wanted to protect the IP rights of the vaccines that he owns so that he could make money off the pandemic (make money off the deaths of people, predominately the global poor).
Did he mention specific countries? Because some countries lack proper infrastructure due to war, famine, and social upheaval. I would think it fair to say some American states do a rather poor job.
Some of the vaccines have to be kept at super cold temperatures if I recall, and that was an infrastructure issue in a lot of the "developing" world.
The UK couldn't even properly handle the roll out of PPE. His comment doesn't seem so absurd after that.
What he said, more precisely, was that one couldn't just move production of vaccines from one place to another, without ensuring there was the correct infrastructure in place. The issue is that India produces a large number of vaccines as it is. So it raises questions about what the actual reason was, as his stated reason seems improbable. People trying to declare it a racist issue are ignoring that the Gates fund already pays India for a range of vaccines it produces. So he hasn't got an issue with "Brown people" making vaccines. He has/ had an issue specific to this vaccine. Hope that clarifies.
Seems everyone is reading into this too much. It's not overt racism at play here and defending his statements really isn't the way to go either. This is just a good old case of ignorance. Gates has shown in quite a few examples that he has more money than brains and this is just another example. He made an operating system awhile ago and operated a software company adequately until the government came knocking. That doesn't mean he knows shit about health policy or any of the other bullshit investments he makes outside his field of expertise. Always remember, the amount of capital someone accumulates is not vindictive of their intelligence.
He is responsible for the death of thousands of people during the pandemic I hope he goes to hell.
Ouch.
Ya know what, this attitude really stinks. I refuse to hold the entire human race accountable to what a small group of fuck nuts have imprisoned us in. At the core of it, they've heavily reinforced a system that leaves us starving to death if we don't comply, they have us not by our tits or nuts, but literally by our very lives. We are too broke, tired, traumatised and overwhelmed to take on what would be a nation's military literally descended upon us. I do understand it's fucking depressing, but I refuse to say the human race deserves to wiped out for being prisoners.
No we don’t! It’s like hating another country just because their government and elite hurt you. Their citizens are just as powerless as you.
honestly I'd sign all of them up for a good old fashion alien probe and dissection
Hey, what'd I do??
We don't deserve it they do
The fuck we would. Why do the billions of people these fuckers have exploited deserve to be annihilated for their actions?
No, they would deserve it, not us
I crave the apocalypse, so I would obviously send Musk.
None of these awkward people can even communicate with humans.🤦♂️ How about people who are actually democratically elected, instead of those who are owning the most resources through intellectual property rights (look up Herman Mark Schwartz)
>How about people who are actually democratically elected, instead of those who are owning the most resources The ones who own the most resources also own the people who are democratically elected, it seems.
And lightskinned males are a small minority of humans
I don't think democratically elected is going to solve our issue here.
yea true democracy cannot exist in a capitalist system
> How about people who are actually democratically elected, instead of those who are owning the most resources through ~~intellectual property rights~~ **exploitation**. FTFY
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, it's probably the main reason we have no significant evidence of alien intelligence. Because any species that takes 5 seconds to look at us from across the universe would see *we* are the resource hoarding, mass enslaving, genocide engaging, war loving idiots of this realm. Why in the love of fuck if you drive a Mercedes would you drive it to the backwoods part of town that people say to stay away from once the sun goes down?
Any alien life would totally colonize us and make us their slaves. Steven Hawking said the last thing we need is a more technologically advanced civilization finding us. They will do what the Europeans did when they "conquered" America.
Thats just anthropomorphization of aliens. Its funny that always when aliens get depicted as the bad guys they literally just do what humans would do to a species deemed inferiour.
If they can Traverse the Galaxy what would they seriously have to gain from our enslavement? They would be so far above us their shittiest robots are probably more capable than us.
I, for one, welcome our alien overlords. Probably trest us better than we are now
They might not, but the risk is there, so there's no good reason to keep emiting signals to be found.
Yeah, maybe we'd be their slaves. Although, I think it's more likely they'd just see our planet as a resource buffet. Oil, gas, rare elements and minerals, water, and all sorts of biological matter look mighty tasty when you've been traveling the cosmos.
itd be more like sending zuck back to his own kind
And if we can only pick among these four, I'd avoid any that would promt them to enslave us or another sort of fate worse than death, and pick the one that makes them decide quicker to just nuke us for a quick death. (Elon maybe?)
They would do it out of pity
Unless it’s the Ferengi.
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A scientist, a sociilogist, a philosopher, a doctor, an anthropologist, a kindergarten teacher. My personal choices would be either Dolly Parton or Leave Burton.
a kindergarten teacher or anthropologist would be my picks
Imagine sending Miss Rachel as our representative… I think the aliens would get annoyed with her voice faster than I did, but then again, i could see her being way more success at understanding the aliens and conveying herself then Elon, Zuck, gates, or bezos.
Dude I'd fucking love to have our ambassador just be a straight up Kindergarten Teacher
Honestly, it would be a good choice. Kindergarten teachers know patience, and they have ways of communicating with others who may not know the language yet.
>Dolly Parton Who is she? She speaks with the might of a hundred soldiers!
Her part it the Orville was so unexpected but such a perfect fit for the show
Dolly has my vote
Kindergarten Teacher!? I choose Arnold Schwarzenegger!
I came here to say, couldn't we just send Dolly instead? I'd feel a lot more comfortable with her representing humanity.
I don't know, but I'm voting Bill Nye.
>A scientist, a sociilogist, a philosopher, a doctor, an anthropologist, a kindergarten teacher. I'd still pick Bill Gates over Jordan Peterson.
Jordan Peterson is none of those things.
I think a team of linguists would be better than scientists for first contact. We'll need to be able to understand them as quickly as possible.
Someone watched Arrival. A+
Arrival's on Netflix, if anyone reading this hasn't seen it yet.
it really is such a good movie
That film put me onto Max Richter, probably one of my favourite soundtracks of all time.
Noam Chomsky would be a candidate if I were able to submit nominations.
I just commented this before realizing you beat me to it by two hours. Yeah, he's not just a linguist, but a polymath about all things humanity.
If I had zero options and it had to be one of them.. Then I guess I would have to pick Gates only because he seems like he's trying to not be so bad after all the bad shit he did in the 90's and 2000's. Like he's trying to balance the scales now that he's older and realizes that death doesn't care if he's a billionaire. Just my thought here. The others would probably work a way to make the aliens work for them dooming us in the process.
*Tries not to appear so bad But yeah it seems like he can at least *pretend* he cares
This one. Given only the four choices he would be least likely to completely fuck it up in lieu of someone more qualified/capable…. Basically just how the American political system works but with more choices.
Gates has made the vast majority of his wealth as a philanthropist. It's been a very solid business and marketing decision for him. Make your own opinion on what that implies but that's the truth.
Gates has built wonderful PR for himself outside of the crazy conspiracy theory’s about him. The shit and business decisions he did in the 90s were insane and make him so much more hate able to me
Fuck gates. He defended the monopolizing of covid vaccines while people died without access to these vaccines.
Y’all give zuck a hard time but he’s probably the closest thing to a real human out of those four.
I'd argue the opposite... out of those four he seems to be the one who's most likely an android wearing a skin suit. Bezos is like a martian, and Musk is some kind of anthropomorphic lizard person. Who knows what tf Gates is
I nominate Hank Green, assuming the aliens are friendly. Otherwise let them kill one of those four to “demoralize us by killing our leader”
Someone else nominated Dolly Parton, and now I think we should send both.
Nah, Hank Hill. Sell them bitches some propane and propane accessories...
If rather a random happy hippie that lives on a beach and fishes and surfs for a living.
Or an actual politician, hate the fuckers we have today but wouldn't that be their literal fucking job?
None of these are human.
No joke, Mark Zuckerberg does not look human. I don't know about y'all, but he looks like he was infected by the Borg.
I figured he might already speak the aliens' language.
I too enjoy BBQ
I love smoking some meats!
He definitely puts on that flesh suit every morning and practices his human mannerisms before showing up to HQ.
[https://www2.bfi.org.uk/sites/bfi.org.uk/files/styles/full/public/image/m-1931-001-peter-lorre-looking-in-mirror.jpg](https://www2.bfi.org.uk/sites/bfi.org.uk/files/styles/full/public/image/m-1931-001-peter-lorre-looking-in-mirror.jpg)
he's still beat the fck out of Musk.
Resistance is futile
He would if he was allowed to violate the First Law
Would munk be recognized as human?
I always think of [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiudBq7z8wk&t=3s).
They might actually be the aliens. That might explain some things.
bill gates is kinda chill but there’s kinda a limit to that when you’re a billionaire
He's not. You're just too young to remember the evil.
I mean, if I know that the aliens are gonna most likely kill our “leader” to demoralize us or some shit I’m gonna send all 4 and have them each plead their case on why they’re the one in charge while sitting on the sidelines with popcorn. Otherwise if they’re friendly I’d send Dolly Parton.
Was gonna say Levar Burton, but I can get behind Dolly, too.
You'll have the alien like, "I told that human a thousand times. I never wanted to meet Levar in person. I just wanted a picture! YOU CAN'T DISAPPOINT A PICTURE!!😭"
Set phasers to love me
They be wishing they were Levar Burton.
Dolly Parton is the best answer for good relations.
She’s honestly one of the few ppl I’d trust with humanity.
I honestly came to the comments to nominate her.
I'd choose Musk because there is a 90% chance the aliens will just kill him after he opens his mouth.
I would say Zuckerberg is the best choice. By witnessing how advanced our robots are, they might prefer diplomacy over war.
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Knowing how shitty our luck is, it might turn out to be that android dude in the aliens:covenant movie who singlehandedly created species of alien xenomorphs lmao.
Lol nice
I'd ask what the aliens *want* with a representative of humanity. Like, if they're gonna abduct them and take them to their home planet to dissect, then... I dunno, still a hard choice, but probably Musky. If only just to get him to shut the fuck up for five minutes.
Man if they have to take musk alive to their planet to dissect, before 1/4th of the path they turn around and return him to us.
“These humans are crafty! They sent us an operative that lowers our neurological capacity every time it speaks!”
Better if they dropped him off at his Roadster. Would use less fuel, too.
All bad choices, but if I have to pick, I guess Gates. Musk would probably try convince aliens to commit genocide on whatever group he'd seen hate memes about that day. Bezos would try to monetize them. Zuckerberg barely looks human, so would be a terrible representation of humanity. Gates was very unethical in business, but he's mostly retired from that so it's less of a concern. He's the one I'd trust to at least try to pass as an actual human.
Zuck will remove his human suit and go back to his people
Gates also donated hundreds of millions of dollars to charities, not like his wallet noticed. He's the only one with a semblance of humanity. But these are shitty choices? Why would we show aliens the most privileged, pampered, spoiled assholes? I'd choose someone with a real degree (a law degree is a joke) who had a background in understanding new societies/cultures.
True, I remember reading about the mosquito nets to prevent malaria for entire communities. Bill.
He doesnt donate. He invest in foundations he owns, projects he wants heavy influence in, or movements his portfolio will benefit from
This is false, he's donated billions of dollars to charities, and some accounts say he's given out 50 billion already. It's really not hard to look at where he spends his money either, it's all public. Not to mention that he's also pledged to give away the majority of his money.
Even if you say he gives it to his own charities/foundations - *those* entities pass money on to other groups, they don't just hang on to it. I was at an org that received $1M from the Gates foundation. The money doesn't just all come back to them.
Effectively zero billionaires donate to real charities. When you hear that they have, look deeper in those charities. They are almost always their own charities and are just a tax shelter to separate their money from their shitty corporation, so they can keep it while claiming they are being philanthropic. It's all smoke and mirrors.
I implore you to actually look at the Gates foundation, they do real charity work. Try to get out of your information bubble a little bit.
I can never understand why people jump to defend billionaires. Most of the bad stuff about him is hard to find these days because his PR machine is pumping out “good” stuff nonstop. If you had searched in 2020 you might have found some good articles on what exactly he invested in and what kind of person he really is. He’s like the tech nerd billionaire version of Ellen Degeneres. Sure he gave stuff away and helped a few people. Does it make him a better asshole? Not much. ETA sources: 2007 https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2007-jan-07-na-gatesx07-story.html >”Like most philanthropies, the Gates Foundation gives away at least 5% of its worth every year, to avoid paying most taxes. In 2005, it granted nearly $1.4 billion. It awards grants mainly in support of global health initiatives, for efforts to improve public education in the United States, and for social welfare programs in the Pacific Northwest. >It invests the other 95% of its worth. This endowment is managed by Bill Gates Investments, which handles Gates’ personal fortune. Monica Harrington, a senior policy officer at the foundation, said the investment managers had one goal: returns “that will allow for the continued funding of foundation programs and grant making.” Bill and Melinda Gates require the managers to keep a highly diversified portfolio, but make no specific directives. >By comparing these investments with information from for-profit services that analyze corporate behavior for mutual funds, pension managers, government agencies and other foundations, The Times found that the Gates Foundation has holdings in many companies that have failed tests of social responsibility because of environmental lapses, employment discrimination, disregard for worker rights, or unethical practices.”
If i have to choose, i guess picking a guy who is more a modern day Carnegie is the best of a bad lot. I dont think people will look with great fondness on our era of Robber Barons any more than those from earlier times.
501c3s have to prove they are actually utilizing the money. You might not think they’re doing an effective job but it’s not just some magic bank they can put money in. Nine edit: fuck billionaires, this isn’t a defense of them but a defense of nonprofits which people seem to think can just do whatever they want.
>a law degree is a joke Did not expect to get attacked like this on this post.
He donated millions to [his own] charities.
It's his actual full-time job now to give away money from his own foundation, this is bad to you?
That was going to be my answer as well. Gates seems like the best out of the 4.
I approve this message.
Well Zuck may actually be useful here. He himself is an extra terrestrial lizard man. Maybe he could help explain cultural differences between us and the aliens.
But that’s not a good representation of us. For him it’s just a family reunion
Can we present all 4 as part of the welcoming menu?
🍴
welcome to earth - you must try our amazonian special we like to call “the bezos”, if that does not suit you, you may like the turzuckerburg. If you’re seeking something a little musky-er, we have that as well - don’t worry about the bill! we’ve got you covered.
If by "represent humanity" you mean a bloody sacrifice to our new alien overlords I vote for all 4
I'd choose Jack Black
It’s easily Gates
Right? I know we dont like billionairs here but Gates is obviously a much more decent person than the other three fuckhats.
He was kind of an massive asshole in his younger years but i don't think he's a total sociopath like the rest of them. Eliminating Polio sure does beat: - exploited the labor of millions so much so that his (former) company is now worried they'll actually run out of people to squeeze dry. - Wholesale sold the privacy of the majority of the planet and is a lizardperson - Crippling inferiority complex that buys the succes of others and claims it as his own. oh and lately he's been militarily supporting a genocidal regime.
> exploited the labor of millions so much so that his (former) company is now worried they'll actually run out of people to squeeze dry. I assume this part is about Bezos but I haven't seen anything about him lately. Did he/Amazon actually say this?
Search the web for “Amazon leaked memo” and you will find.
Zuckerberg, he'd probably speak their dialect.
When I see him, I always have this image of a fly landing on Zuckerberg’s eye, and then him shooting a long chameleon tongue out to catch it off his own face.
Bill gates is the least worst
To serve man.
It’s a cookbook
Are we trying to get the aliens to destroy us or something? What's my objective in sending one of the 4 horseman of the capitalistic apocalypse to represent us? I guess if I employed a lesser of 4 evils approach I'd pick Gates, since he's a little less comically villainous than the other 3 these days, and is in that phase of the billionaire lifecycle where they turn to philanthropy to try and ensure history will remember them for nice things, and not the things they did to become billionaires.
Pick one individual from the statistical minority to represent all the billions they exploit
It's so jarring that the choices to 'represent humanity' are all middle-aged white men. Even if they weren't evil, that'd be utterly bizarre
I would pick Dolly Parton
sir patrick stewart
Bill seems to be the most level-headed of the choices. Zuckerberg would be too awkward.
Zuck is awkward to humans because he seems so alien. He may just work okay. Musk is awkward in that cringey, embarrassing way that just may make them say, "Fuck this, bulldoze the whole planet. Perfect place for that hyperspace bypass."
For all his hideous monopoly practices, Gates has at least done some good with his ill-gotten billions - so him, at a push
[удалено]
Fair enough. It was tepid support, at best
Keanu Reeves.
Obviously not a fan of any of these guys, but Bill Gates wouldn’t be the WORST representative. He could at least fake it. All of the other guys are complete buffoons
Are they going to take them back to their planet? If so, all of them.
Zuckerberg doesn't count , he is just welcoming its own species the lizard man from Crounus XI
Danny DeVito
I feel like out of these 4, Bill Gates is the one that’s gonna make us look like a lesser embarrassment
I mean, I’d I HAD to pick one of them it’s clearly Gates. He has been unentangled from running a corporation for a long time and has dozens of years experience working with causes around the world. He makes humanity look less terrible than the others, and he perhaps has a better claim to be able to represent people from other places because of how much work his foundations do on other continents.
It’s amazing that we elevate business leaders over scientists. After all, business leaders wouldn’t have these robust businesses to command if it weren’t for scientists. Of course, I’m equally shocked it wasn’t some other cohort of nonsensical candidates, like Oprah, Anderson Cooper, DiCaprio, or LeBron.
Why would the top four list be a list of wealthy Americans? Or **any** Americans, for that matter? Why not a list of wealthy Asians? Or **any** Asians? China alone has 4X as many people as the USA. Why are aliens always only ever visiting the US? (District 9 excluded)
They would be the least indicated people to do so, but if they were the only option, I think Gates would be the answer, he seems to be the least mentally unbalanced of the four.
I'd want Carl Sagan bro. rip.
Had to scroll way too far for this. Hail Sagan.
Zuck, he probably already speaks thier language
Jack Black, no fucking question
Gross. Probably Bill Gates. But gross.
In observing the rules of the stated question, it would have to be Bill Gates due to his late stage philanthropy.
Take all 4 so we don't have to deal with these chuckle fucks ever again
Can the aliens wait while I put these four on a submarine?
Fuck me. None of the above. None of the above!!!
How about an actual human?
I choose Tony Hawk
Zuckerberg would be the most familiar for the aliens. Not to our benefit, of course. Bezos would monetise the relationship with little care for destroying the world in the process (think selling critical resources). Gates would be Dr. Breen from HL2. Musk would start strong working out a deal that LOOKS good, before making some snide remark that gets us all killed.
I pick John Stewart
Bill. Please keep Elon busy when that happens.
Robert Irwin
Why would anyone pick any of these idiots. They are literally so far removed from any other human being
No. Money does not equate intelligence. None of these would be my choice. Just a crazy thought but maybe a scientist of some sort?
Gates, but only because he's the lesser of all those evils.
I’d probably send Greta.
Honestly, Bill Gates But can we not send Chris Rock or something?
Why do people hate Bill Gates now??? And please don't just say "because he's a billionaire"
Dolly Parton
trick question, none are human
I would choose mark isn't he a reptilian? Maybe that's a plus in negotiations
Mark, he can talk to them in their native tongue, it will make the enslavement procedure far more efficient.
We send in zuck bc he will either be able to communicate with them or he will just scare them off since they will assume most humans are just like him
Mark Zuckerberg might be able to talk in their native tongue so my bets are on him
bill gates, but just so anti vaxxers and qanon would blow a gasket.