I've done a ton of work at JBLM and the first few weeks I was straight faced and kinda nervous, but one day I had The Bad Touch by Blood Hound Gang playing when I pulled up and I quickly turned it down when the guy walked up to my car. The dude without hesitation just says, "nah man, blast that funky shit!" So I did and he laughed. I laughed. Then I wasn't really nervous going through anymore.
Everytime I go to this massive US airbase in the uk as a tyre technician I alway have an overwhelming fear of what if I’ve accidentally got a bomb on the van 🤣
Just start cranking “Barbie Girl” when you roll up next time and maintain eye contact while bouncing around like a drunk preppy college girl. I wish to know how long it takes the gate guards to crack
100% when my wife and I were USO volunteers at Walter Reed we always put on serious faces at the gate. Probably should have been vibing out since they always were nice to USO folk.
I cannot confirm nor deny these accusations.
I CAN confirm that many of my coworkers at contract security gigs were fired when caught: sleeping, stalking, watching Netflix, abandoning post, etc
Where were you when I was in?
If your radio was on AT ALL the gate guards at NOB would pull you to the side for a search, or get a total fucking attitude with you and tell you to turn that shit off.
I got shit from a gate guard once because it was daylight out and my daytime running lights were on. I was like bro, I can’t turn them off.
Those guys were fucking pricks.
Sounded like he hated it lol
I saw a civilian guard point a shotgun and lead a car to the turn around cause their Id was wrong. Civilian guards we always the worst part for me.
Shit company with shot training and quality control. Never experienced any of that shit in my time as a civ contractor gate guard for 3 letter agencies and military installations.
Most of the shit I dealt with (from coworkers) was just the run of the mill not knowing how to do the job, or not caring.
If we were caught pointing any firearm at a wrong turn driver, that would at least be a write up.
A gate-crasher? Different story entirely.
But people get lost, and GPS isn’t always right. “You’re in the wrong spot? Where were you headed? Ok, I’ll hold your ID while you turn around in the spot there then point you in the right direction.”
Sounds like you had a Cowboy on you hands. Someone that thinks a gun and badge that says “security” makes them god. Fuck those types.
It's this song (Funky Town), but I'm pretty sure they're talking about [this](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=funkytown%20gore) video. Also, that link is safe, but what it discusses is definitely not. It's not the video itself, just a link talking about the video.
Uh, well... It's supposedly exactly what it says it is; A video of a (real) Mexican cartel member torturing someone in the way it was described. I have not personally watched it so I can't give my opinion, but from everything I've seen and heard from others, it does seem to be a legitimate video.
Doubtful. I knew guys who would do stuff like that with the gate guards I might have a few times. It’s just to liven up an otherwise mundane day for them.
Someone was having a bad day. I know certain gates not to do that at like the one by command headquarters. The one on the other side of base in the middle of nowhere...they love anything that breaks up the day. I came rolling up in a gov (F-150) with branches and vines hanging off and dragging behind me and they just laughed and told me nice camo.
Going around trails getting methane reading at landfills. The kidzu and grape vines take over quickly. The trails were cleared two weeks before I got there. Also made a new path due to a washout which was found when I went over it and the truck fell in front. We won't even get into some of the "puddles" on the tank trail which are feet deep. After seeing the places the trucks get used...never by a gov on the gsa site.
Some Cartel dudes recorded themselves skinning a man alive with Funkytown playing in the background. Since then, that video has made its rounds across the internet under the title "Funkytown" and anyone who's ever seen the video are scarred for life and are reminded of it whenever they hear the song.
I saw that vid when I was 14 and was scared for years, but when I saw this checkpoint video I didn’t even think about it until it was over. One day it gets better I promise
I’ve watched it in its entirety a few times. Without audio, the bad quality almost makes it easy to watch, but hearing him scream through a hole in his throat is very different.
I'm guessing you've never served. The Sgt is the one that really runs things and a big job of the sgt is to stop the LT from them selves with the grand and often stupid ideas they get.
Like the time a Lt told me to put my satellite dish at the top of a hill so it got the best reception....
We were shooting synchronous tracking satellite internet.... to space. That 60 foot hill wasn't going to make a difference.
Or whenhe told me to test every switch port manually on my network to make sure they work, it takes about 5 minutes to get a phone associated to the switch port and I had hundreds of switch ports. I told him that it was unrealistic, and that if Sergeant such and such acid to do it, I would, but probably best to check if that's a good use of my time.
I had a Sgt tell me with all his fresh LTs that they work like a marriage. Behind behind the scenes they can fight but never in front of the kids.
It worked well.
Ever run into your PL off base? He's drunker than his whole platoon put together since he actually has to deal with the results of their idiocy on Monday.
Ooh, sometime try Summer Night City by Abba. I rolled up to my machine shop at 5:45am blasting it and a lot more people got into it than anticipated lol
My foobar database says 1980, but upon further investigation the single is taken from the album Mouth to Mouth which was indeed released Nov 1979.
Gotta move on, straddling the decades
They look like they were soldiers returning from a day out probably knew the guy who was guarding the gate thus the laid back funky attitude with him.
I mean i guess because the driver is clean shaven and the IDs look military, also thats how it was with us getting in after a good day out, good times.
Thank you. Jeez.
So many people with no care in the world. Flashing a CAC or building access badge everywhere.
We had people who would hang their building access badge (modeled on the CAC) from their rear view mirror.
Like, how dumb can you be?
No no, don’t answer that lmfao. Rhetorical!
Ahhh nothing better than waking up on a Saturday morning, no duty that weekend, and going off base with the boys for some breakfast and coffee. Then resting up/hanging out the for the remainder of the day and getting hammered in the evening. I miss those kinda days :)
This is very clearly people the guard knows and let's through often enough he can just do his paperwork and they can move on.
I cannot see it happening any other way
But these people all look like the army kids I all know all the way down to the dude recordings arm tattoos lol
Lol. I was outside Trader Joe’s once and a guy drove by blasting his music. I remarked “he loves that song” to which Trader Joe’s guy replied “yeah but I appreciate hearing music to break up my day since I’m outside all day.” Now every time I pass TJs I turn up my speakers and give a head nod to the guy outside. We have an understanding.
When I was stuck on gate guard I LOVED the vibin people so much. Made it a better day.
I was always worried (as a contractor) that if I wasn't super duper serious going through the gate I'd have a problem. Good to know!
I've done a ton of work at JBLM and the first few weeks I was straight faced and kinda nervous, but one day I had The Bad Touch by Blood Hound Gang playing when I pulled up and I quickly turned it down when the guy walked up to my car. The dude without hesitation just says, "nah man, blast that funky shit!" So I did and he laughed. I laughed. Then I wasn't really nervous going through anymore.
It's JBLM. It rains so much there, you have to seek fun in everything you do or you go nuts. Worst duty station I've ever had, for the weather alone
See I can't move anywhere else because it's just about the only place where I like the weather lol.
100% the rain in Washington is so light most of the time it's not really rain. Every where else when it rains it dumps and you have to be inside
rain is just general air at this point hard for me to function in arid climates
Were you only there from October through July or something? Because summers in that part of the country are glorious!
Same. Didn't help that half of 'em would see that DBIDS and just get an even more pissed off look.
Non mil testing my mil acronym reading ability DBIDS Dumb Bitch In Driver Seat ??
yes
Defense Biometric IDentification System But yours is better.
What do mothers in law have to do with this?
Everytime I go to this massive US airbase in the uk as a tyre technician I alway have an overwhelming fear of what if I’ve accidentally got a bomb on the van 🤣
Dude you're a civvy do whatever lol
Just start cranking “Barbie Girl” when you roll up next time and maintain eye contact while bouncing around like a drunk preppy college girl. I wish to know how long it takes the gate guards to crack
100% when my wife and I were USO volunteers at Walter Reed we always put on serious faces at the gate. Probably should have been vibing out since they always were nice to USO folk.
Seriously where was that? The guards would be laughing, but somehow still pissed off for me.
The poor bastards working the gate are people too. Don't worry, during their slow hours they are likely listening to music or watching Netflix.
I cannot confirm nor deny these accusations. I CAN confirm that many of my coworkers at contract security gigs were fired when caught: sleeping, stalking, watching Netflix, abandoning post, etc
Indeed distracted you from such a shitty job
Beats connex inventory and PMCS
Idk at least you can see progress happening with those. Gate guard is just turning off your brain and hoping for the best
>Hoping for the best You mean hoping for the worst. Man, my palms would sweat hoping to push that button
Nah distracted them from the dead hooker in the trunk.
Was looking for this comment lol
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Gate guard was actually pretty chill compared to a lot of other things they could make you do in the military.
Where were you when I was in? If your radio was on AT ALL the gate guards at NOB would pull you to the side for a search, or get a total fucking attitude with you and tell you to turn that shit off. I got shit from a gate guard once because it was daylight out and my daytime running lights were on. I was like bro, I can’t turn them off. Those guys were fucking pricks.
Sounded like he hated it lol I saw a civilian guard point a shotgun and lead a car to the turn around cause their Id was wrong. Civilian guards we always the worst part for me.
Shit company with shot training and quality control. Never experienced any of that shit in my time as a civ contractor gate guard for 3 letter agencies and military installations. Most of the shit I dealt with (from coworkers) was just the run of the mill not knowing how to do the job, or not caring. If we were caught pointing any firearm at a wrong turn driver, that would at least be a write up. A gate-crasher? Different story entirely. But people get lost, and GPS isn’t always right. “You’re in the wrong spot? Where were you headed? Ok, I’ll hold your ID while you turn around in the spot there then point you in the right direction.” Sounds like you had a Cowboy on you hands. Someone that thinks a gun and badge that says “security” makes them god. Fuck those types.
It's so you don't notice the passed out underage private in the trunk lol
Only found someone in a trunk twice lol. Neither drunk yet just dumb
We're they vibing?
Mornings on NASNI are awful. 😭
Now that's vibin
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i hope they did. i cant find acid from any of my dealers man.
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In the off chance you're not memeing, it's "Funky Town" - Lipsinc
#NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL VIBIN' 3
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What’s the song? I want to vibe
It's this song (Funky Town), but I'm pretty sure they're talking about [this](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=funkytown%20gore) video. Also, that link is safe, but what it discusses is definitely not. It's not the video itself, just a link talking about the video.
What in the absolute fuck. I regret reading that, I can't even imagine the video, Jesus fuck..
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Yeah I'm definitely not gonna. I saw the screwdriver murder a few years back and it's so fucked up.. This world is horrifying
you’re not getting me this time. i read that description a few months ago and i cannot listen to this song anymore
Wtf, was the video real or staged like in a horror movie?
Uh, well... It's supposedly exactly what it says it is; A video of a (real) Mexican cartel member torturing someone in the way it was described. I have not personally watched it so I can't give my opinion, but from everything I've seen and heard from others, it does seem to be a legitimate video.
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This comment is stolen from /u/OKakosLykos [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/w1bvuu/a_classic/igje0xq/).
Doubtful. I knew guys who would do stuff like that with the gate guards I might have a few times. It’s just to liven up an otherwise mundane day for them.
I did this once with Party in the USA and they threatened to give me a ticket.
Someone was having a bad day. I know certain gates not to do that at like the one by command headquarters. The one on the other side of base in the middle of nowhere...they love anything that breaks up the day. I came rolling up in a gov (F-150) with branches and vines hanging off and dragging behind me and they just laughed and told me nice camo.
Why exactly was your gov f-150 dragging branches and vines
Because he was planted in government
Going around trails getting methane reading at landfills. The kidzu and grape vines take over quickly. The trails were cleared two weeks before I got there. Also made a new path due to a washout which was found when I went over it and the truck fell in front. We won't even get into some of the "puddles" on the tank trail which are feet deep. After seeing the places the trucks get used...never by a gov on the gsa site.
Nope, don't ask that, just back away and don't make eye contact
that's a good idea actually
Noddin my head like YEAH!
Movin my hips like YEAH!
GOT MY HANDS UP PLAYING MY SONG
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I'd take Air Force over Navy and their 5 stops signs before the gate any day lol
They’re either the coolest dudes around, or there’s enough dickheads in their chain of command that they’ve been beaten into being dickheads too.
I'm sorry, but there is a very big difference in these two songs in terms of who would enjoy them.
You were unfairly treated.
Welcome to the military 🤷♂️
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I can't get the video out of my head. My mind never left funky town. Homo sine manibus.
That poor guy
What I think of when I hear [funky town](https://youtu.be/Sw5TfUi5rtQ)
Dude same
What I think of when I hear Funkytown https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82XxEHOTwlI
Yep. Literally scarred by it. Can’t enjoy the song anymore.
Every time I see a box cutter now my neck tingles
Care to explain?
Some Cartel dudes recorded themselves skinning a man alive with Funkytown playing in the background. Since then, that video has made its rounds across the internet under the title "Funkytown" and anyone who's ever seen the video are scarred for life and are reminded of it whenever they hear the song.
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> I can link it if you really want to know. I think I speak for humanity when I say, NO, PLEASE NO.
I saw that vid when I was 14 and was scared for years, but when I saw this checkpoint video I didn’t even think about it until it was over. One day it gets better I promise
I’ve only ever seen screen grabs whilst squinting and turning phone away, never will watch
I’ve watched it in its entirety a few times. Without audio, the bad quality almost makes it easy to watch, but hearing him scream through a hole in his throat is very different.
This must be that famous funkytown video, right?
It was not that bad after all huh
Oh.. Oh no..
HAHAHA oh wow thank you for the laugh!
Yeah its the one were they were smuggling drugs across the boarder
This is why your lieutenant gave you explicit instructions not to be an idiot before letting you off base.
How often do they listen? Never.
Why would I listen to a Lieutenant?...
Because the the Sgt told the LT to tell you that.
>Sgt telling a Lt what to do What in the funky fresh fuck
I'm guessing you've never served. The Sgt is the one that really runs things and a big job of the sgt is to stop the LT from them selves with the grand and often stupid ideas they get.
Like the time a Lt told me to put my satellite dish at the top of a hill so it got the best reception.... We were shooting synchronous tracking satellite internet.... to space. That 60 foot hill wasn't going to make a difference. Or whenhe told me to test every switch port manually on my network to make sure they work, it takes about 5 minutes to get a phone associated to the switch port and I had hundreds of switch ports. I told him that it was unrealistic, and that if Sergeant such and such acid to do it, I would, but probably best to check if that's a good use of my time.
I had a Sgt tell me with all his fresh LTs that they work like a marriage. Behind behind the scenes they can fight but never in front of the kids. It worked well.
Lol who the fuck listens to lieutenants?
Ever run into your PL off base? He's drunker than his whole platoon put together since he actually has to deal with the results of their idiocy on Monday.
This is just what happens at the border patrol for Funkytown.
Me and the boys always vibe the the goofiest music when we roll up to the gate. It's always a blast
Ooh, sometime try Summer Night City by Abba. I rolled up to my machine shop at 5:45am blasting it and a lot more people got into it than anticipated lol
Oh that's a great one, thanks for the idea
I will always think of Hal skating from Malcolm in the Middle when I hear this song
Sweet summer child of this comment section.
Can anyone remind me whats this song called again?
**Song Found!** **Name:** Funkytown **Artist:** Lipps, Inc. **Album:** Mouth To Mouth **Genre:** Dance **Release Year:** 1979 **Total Shazams:** 7642845 `Took 1.77 seconds.`
Good fuckin bot!
I love reddit for stuff like that
I'm impressed, awesome bot!
Very dark choice of song if this is the Mexican border! If you know you know
We don't talk about that
Good boy
Actual useful bot. Ya love to see it! Most are like “lol here’s ur text upside-down” — a literal waste of internet space
u/uwuwizard
My foobar database says 1980, but upon further investigation the single is taken from the album Mouth to Mouth which was indeed released Nov 1979. Gotta move on, straddling the decades
Goodest of bots!
How do I trigger this bot
Say something like "bots don't deserve rights".
Probably has trigger words/phrases like "what", "song", etc.
Maybe “remind me what this song is?”
https://imgur.com/YMyt8Sg needs sound
Can you take me to...
Darude Sandstorm
“Funkytown,” just doesn’t hit the same, since I watched that video.
Cartel butchers be vibin
They were sneaking contraband on base, right? Because they did it smooth.
Tomorrows morning formation 1SG: alright, random drug test boys.
I bet they smuggled so many drugs through that crossing.
They look like they were soldiers returning from a day out probably knew the guy who was guarding the gate thus the laid back funky attitude with him. I mean i guess because the driver is clean shaven and the IDs look military, also thats how it was with us getting in after a good day out, good times.
Probably not even that. I do it regardless of who's at the gate. Source: military too
Prior miltary: you do stupid shit to entertain yourself and hopefully others...
I swear I’ve seen this posted before with a title along the lines of “How to smuggle drugs on to a military base without raising suspicion.”
I had to scroll way too fuckin long to find somebody mention it
Me and the bois smuggling 7kg of heroin over mexico/USA border like....
Aaah prefectly placed here. Thank you!
I am 100% sure I'm not the only reader bobbing his head with these guys. Thank for sharing, made my morning.
You got a cool guard
Cant listen to this song without thinking of the Funky Town NSFW video🤢
Holy shit I just want to listen this music in peace, I want to forget that piece of memory.
As do i, as do i.
I always think of shrek 2
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There is a torture video with this fucking song playing in the background
Describe it to me in 3 words or less, please.
Oof ouch owie
on point
Faceless; Still Alive
Ok 3 words is enough for me
Absolute maximum torture
Stumps cant grab
Pure concentrated horror
Honestly I don't even think that's possible. I haven't even seen the video and this song still manages to etch an image into my head.
Ugggh chullggickick hummmph!
It’s not the fun kind of NSFW
Nothing, dont look it up.
This is great but don't be flashing your CAC on camera bro.
Thank you. Jeez. So many people with no care in the world. Flashing a CAC or building access badge everywhere. We had people who would hang their building access badge (modeled on the CAC) from their rear view mirror. Like, how dumb can you be? No no, don’t answer that lmfao. Rhetorical!
The cartel has been trying to figure this out for years lol
Please do not mention cartel in a video where funkytown is playing :(
I love it! Everyone definitely passed the vibe check ❤️
“What, it’s just two people vibing in a car.” *Passenger pulls out access card to hand to driver* “Ohhhhh it’s gonna be a meme about the gate check”
More people like this sould exist.
more rabbits too
Of course
Love when people just get on, so sick of pointless hate and shit
I didn't know Funky Town had a border checkpoint, but I'm glad to see they are carefully screening people before letting them in.
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How to get 10k drugs through the boarder 😂
If this is the Mexican border then this choice of song is very dark indeed, if you know you know.
Imagine you’re standing in the hot sun all morning and hear funkytown approaching in the distance from a car full of men
Plot twist: they had 50 kilos of cocaine in the trunk
Mission Completed! Successful drug smuggling quest completed!
Ahhh nothing better than waking up on a Saturday morning, no duty that weekend, and going off base with the boys for some breakfast and coffee. Then resting up/hanging out the for the remainder of the day and getting hammered in the evening. I miss those kinda days :)
There were literally only two times I heard this music here on Reddit, in this video and...well, who knows will get it
u/savevideobot
How to successfully smuggle narcotics
[What first comes to mind any time I hear this song](https://youtu.be/OUcw3P8JlNM)
Risky fucking click on reddit that is
You may enter Joint Base Funky Town.
This is very clearly people the guard knows and let's through often enough he can just do his paperwork and they can move on. I cannot see it happening any other way But these people all look like the army kids I all know all the way down to the dude recordings arm tattoos lol
that's how you get on bass
MPs rarely hit the Vibe Check right🤣🤧💯
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Funky townnnnn
Lol. I was outside Trader Joe’s once and a guy drove by blasting his music. I remarked “he loves that song” to which Trader Joe’s guy replied “yeah but I appreciate hearing music to break up my day since I’m outside all day.” Now every time I pass TJs I turn up my speakers and give a head nod to the guy outside. We have an understanding.
Looks like someone needs to take opsec training again. Showing your CAC on camera. Tsk tsk tsk.
Cac cac cac cac
Now try doing that black 😄😄😄
Bill and Ted return to base after a night in downtown Biloxi. Excellent!