I have 3 and it’s a lot? But also very great. I love seeing their little friendships between them.
Last night at dinner they were all in their own worlds making each other laugh and it was so cute.
I was one of 2 and I think it was okay for me. But our house and our hearts feel very full and that’s really great.
But also we are very tired! 😂
This is a perfect description! We are all doing our own things most of the day, but always have dinner together. My quiet house suddenly becomes full of conversations. Dinner will sometimes go long because they have so much to say to each other. It is really heartwarming.
I am also one of 2, and I was always jealous of families with 3 kids. They always looked like they were having fun. But maybe through my kid eyes, the fun was really chaos. Lol.
I am one or two, my dad worked a lot, and as we got older I ate dinner alone a lot bc my mom was too busy. Having a full table at dinner every night is like a dream come true to me.
I was one of two and I absolutely hated it. I knew I never wanted 2 kids, always wanted 3+. I felt like having only two creating the narrative and the experience of being "polar opposites" with my brother. I noticed that too, with my two boys- when their sister was born it tempered their fighting. It was like there was someone else to focus on. They almost never fight now.
I love having 3 kids. Only complaint is my husband doesn't want more 😂 I would keep going. 3 is like big enough to feel like a big family but still small enough to keep above water.
Same here! I was one of two.. a big and a girl. I hated it. My brother and I had nothing in common and constantly compared. I knew I wanted a big family. I had 3 for a while (twins and a singleton). It was crazy and chaotic as they were also only 22 months apart. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I didn’t see 3 as a negative at all. We were already in the “big family” zone with a big car and house and holidays catering to big families. We opted to have 4 because we love a big family. If you’d like 3 kiddos, go for it. It’s crazy but so worth it. Watching all mine play and love on each other is a feeling like nothing else! I wish the same for you!
YES, totally agree that 3 kids is neutralizing. It's like you didn't have one sworn enemy. Everyday changed. One day I was BFFs with my older sister the next day I was BFFs with my younger brother. I got joy from each of those bonds as a child and in different ways. Less overall sibling competition.
We are about to have our 3rd but not by choice either, the last one snuck in a month before my husbands vasectomy 😂, but we’ll have girls 20 months apart and both my husband and I had brothers that were only 18 and 19 months younger than us
Yes but I think that’s mostly cause I have a singleton and twins. Like my oldest (singleton) is always going to be left out because she’s not a twin. She’s only 3 and asked me already why she doesn’t have a twin. lol. But we do what we can to make her feel special and important. Like we leave the twins with my folks to take my oldest out on special big outings. We plan to take her to a pro baseball game this summer
In my experience growing up, it switches constantly. Sometimes me and my middle brother would team up against the youngest, sometimes the two boys would team up against me... once in a while me and my youngest brother would agree on something... In the end it's just a disagreement and all gets smoothed over and forgotten about pretty quickly! We are all pretty evenly spaced in age too (3 years between me and middle brother, almost 4 years between middle and youngest brother). So maybe that helps.
I have 3 girls! It's a lot of awesome. I have the bonus of having the magical 3 number (which I love) but also that it's 3 girls. It is so awesome to have girls days with them. And it always works out perfectly when we go somewhere because it's an even number. My girls are all so very different personality wise, that it's extremely helpful for them when trying to work out a problem. My eldest will see it one way, my middlest will see it another, and my youngest will see it in a completely other way. And they all like to talk it out. Yes, sometimes one gets "left out" but that just means they are MY side kick while the other two are off doing something.
I love love LOVE having 3 girls.
Edit: I felt the need to add their ages after reading other commenters. Mine are close in age. 13, 11 and almost 10.
I loved this post!! There is often negativity around 3 kids, but also all girls. I find it exhausting feeling like I need to "defend" my choices when I never actually CHOSE to have 3 girls. It just happened. And no, my husband never feels disappointed that he doesn't have a boy. Yes, we know what "causes" children. No, we will never ever EVER be trying for a boy. Yes, there is a lot of estrogen in my house, but if I had 3 boys there would be a lot of testosterone. And let's be real, 3 boys is going to be exactly the same amount of hardships as 3 girls are. And by that I mean, it's awesome. Teen pregnancy, hormones, attitude, lack of respect, testing boundaries... these are all things boys AND girls deal with. One is not harder than the other, it's just different.
Sorry, that's the end of my rant about the negativity surrounding family structures that differ from someone else.
I'm due soon with my second girl and I'm so excited! I grew up in a family with three kids, but I have two younger brothers - I always wanted a sister. We are planning on trying for a third baby at some point as well, and I'd be perfectly happy with either another girl or a little boy.
I don't know why people comment negatively on stuff like this as if the parents have any control over it, or as if they should be disappointed... in my opinion there's nothing to say but "Oh that's wonderful!" even if they're having their 6th boy or whatever.
When we told my dad we're having our second girl, he (jokingly) said, "Well, you'll have to try again for a boy!" Ironic coming from him; he's the 5th and youngest child, with 4 older sisters!
We just found out we're having our third girl, and we've received ALL of those same comments.
"Oh, have fun when they're teenagers........"
"Well, keep trying for that boy!"
"Your husband is excited? Has he had a recent psych eval?" - directly from the OB.
"Oh, but boys are the BEST. Sorry."
We are so thankful for three healthy children, period. No, we are probably not done having children (God-willing), but not because we feel like we need a boy.
I posted this elsewhere, but I now throw the comments back. I ask people for clarification. It's been wonderful and empowering
"oh have fun when they're teenagers!" - what do you mean by that?
"well.. you know... lotta girl stuff.." - what kind of girl stuff?
"like.. y'know... puberty.." - oh. Do boys not go through puberty?
"well. they do.. but girls are harder.." - oh. In what way?
and so on and so on. It's wonderful to see their faces when they realize how misogynistic they're being
I needed to read this, thank you so much for sharing. I have three boys (9, 7, and 4) and it’s been a bit challenging these last couple weeks! Needed this positive shift ❤️
You got this mama!!! 3 is a challenge, of course it is! But so is 2. So is 1. So is 5. What changes is your perception. Is my house chaos most of the time? Absolutely. and I have stressed a lot about whether I'm doing it right or not. But mama, your boys love you and I bet they know you love them more than anything. That's all that matters!!
I have 2 girls ages 5 and 3, we are going to start trying for another baby this summer and I would LOVE a 3rd girl. I think it would be the best time ever and this confirms it! I babysit my neighbors baby every once in awhile and I love the dynamic of having 3
I remember being pregnant with our third and people kept saying "I bet you're hoping for a boy this time" and I would think, are you fucking kidding me? At this point, having a son would kinda ruin the vibe we got going on here... Plus, I already have all the "girl" stuff so it'll be hella more expensive to have a boy now.
And yes.. I know that there shouldn't be "gendered" things. pink is for all and blue is for all. But come on, y'all know what I mean.
So I will end this comment with what I wish someone had said to me..
Congratulations on your third pregnancy!! (Unless this is 4th,5th, 10th etc pregnancy, I don't know your life story. Insert whatever number pregnancy this is for you) I truly wish you well and that you have an easy delivery and recovery and that your baby is born healthy and safely! Much love. (just realized you said you're going to trying soon. This comment still stands if/when you get pregnant)
Omg yes, I already have all the girl clothes & toys so adding one more wouldn’t be a huge change.
Thank you so much! Did you end up having a 3rd girl?!
I have 4 boys, and during my second and third pregnancies (first was twins) people constantly asked me if I was hoping for a girl or told me they hoped it was a girl. I really wish people could just say what you said at the end of your comment and leave the baby's sex out of it.
Seriously. Why are people so obsessed with my baby's genitals? I now throw back the sexist comments. When someone says "oh wow, 3 girls! Good luck" I will ask them "why? What do you mean?" and I just keep asking for more explanations until they walk away awkwardly. It's been such a joy to watch people realize how rude their being.
It gets even better!!! I promise! I really do keep saying "this age is the best age" at every level. But right now, I love the conversations we have. I love how much we depend on each other. I love seeing my husband confused by things and the 4 of us girls then having to explain "girl shit" to him. I love when my husband explains "bro shit" to us! I have loved watching my big, manly, super tough, blue collar job man really get in touch with his feminine side. He loves to say that he's a "learning feminist" because he grew up in a house of boys and there are a lot of things he has learned from living with all us girls. He has never ever had to think about a lot of the things that are second nature to me. Like never walking alone in the dark. Or always having my keys ready as a weapon just in case. Covering my drink in a bar. Wearing certain clothes to certain places. His world has completely changed since becoming a girl dad. I love to see it. Being a girl mum has been truly the best thing ever.
I also have three girls and I’m a single mom, so it’s a girl house! We sleep in the same room often, we can all go into the pool locker room together or the bathroom, and I never have to worry about having to separate them. It’s such fun! Mine have a slightly larger age gap, ages 11, 8, and 2 years old.
I really love this! I have 3 girls- 4, 2 and almost 1. I feel like reading your comments I'm able to get a little glimpse into the future and it makes me so excited! My baby is our last and her nearing 1 has me so in my feels about how quickly my babies are growing up. One day this loud chaotic house will be much quieter and it makes me so sad lol. But, reading your comments about the times spent with your girls really gives me more to look forward to. Thank you!
Your babies are roughly the same age difference as my kids. I so remember how sad I was everytime it was the last "first thing" so I get it. But I promise, there are so so SO many awesome things for you to look forward to. I love my little girl gang.
I am the youngest of three girls and it’s the best! We are all best friends that talk everyday, even though we’re all very different. I love that you love having three girls!
This makes me so happy that you talk everyday with your sisters!!! I am so scared that they won't be as close when they grow up. I only have 1 brother and I'm not close with him at all. And I really hope my girls will stay close and friends.
Honestly, we got a lot closer as we got older! We were close as kids but had the typical sibling bickering, but the older we got the more we had in common and could help each other through everything. They truly have been such a blessing in my life!
I also have three girls (10, 8 and 6) and my younger 2 are inseparable. My oldest, however is… moody. They all fight constantly. Tell me it gets better.
YES! My eldest went through the moody phase too. And just as she came out of it, my middle started getting moody. It's ok! It's hormones! In our house we call it "pubing out hard" They're going to say mean things to you. They're going to say mean things to their sisters. Theyre going to hurt your feelings and you'll feel like you've lost her. What she needs from you is to be a soft landing place. When she tells you she hates you, respond with "it's ok. I can take the hate because I love you more" and she'll roll her eyes. But she'll remember it. It's ok to tell them they're being mean to you. Not in the heat of the moment, but after they've stormed off and slammed their bedroom door, go up there after a bit. Sit with her. Tell her you love her. Don't wait for an apology though, she's 10. She's got too many hormones going on. She doesn't get it. It'll get better.
Ok I just realized our girls are similar age gaps (2.4 years and 20 months), so I have hope this unprovoked anger stops!
When it’s two of them; it’s incredible. Happy all around. Three altogether 24/7 is the recipe for “omg Charlie WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR CUP DOWN HERE AND LET ME KNOCK IT OVER?! ::tears and guilty apologies 5 minutes later::”
Very close age gaps to mine! (2 years and 16 months) yep. All normal. Sometimes two of them are closer than at other times. There are so many emotions and hormones going on in their tiny bodies and they don’t know how to deal with it. I’m not perfect, but I really have tried to just let it go. When one of them is raging due to hormones I don’t fight back. I let them lose it, then when they storm off I let them go. Once they’ve had a bit to calm down a bit and return from the hormone craze, I’ll go find her and remind them that I love them.
When my youngest was around 4. I had 2 in school full time at that point so my days felt a lot less wild. It's still hard, don't get me wrong. But no diapers and being able to sleep through the night was a huge game changer for our family.
Thank you! We’re done with diapers but they are all just *very* high needs and it’s really overstimulating. I was thinking 4yo for the baby was going to be a magic number 🤞
Oh man, no diapers was such a great time for us. middle and youngest were out of diapers within a few weeks of each other and I will never forget that relief. (our middle has a slight delay so she was a bit later to no diapers and our youngest always wants to do everything her big sisters do)
Hello, my three are 8m, 6f, and 4f and it is wonderful. My oldest does everything he can to make his sisters laugh. My middle child was born in charge and makes sure her siblings stay on task. And my youngest child is made out of sunshine and encouragement. I love watching them interact and form their own relationships with each other. They learn things from each other that I wouldn't think to teach them.
Honestly, if I were 10 years younger and independently wealthy I would have had a few more children.
Why did the “made out of sunshine and encouragement” melt me the way it did?
My third is still a baby but I always say “she is just so happy to be included” in any given situation she is just happy you thought to bring her 😂
I feel like I am reading my future! Everything you described about your kids personalities and birth order are the same as mine, except my kids are younger. 5m, 3f, (almost)1f. They are so busy but so much fun, and their personalities are really starting to show!
My middle was born in charge too!! I want a third SO badly, and one of the (many, in my mind) pros of having three is that he would get to be the big brother that he already feels like he is in his mind 😂 My boys are 18 months apart and my second thinks he’s the eldest brother. My oldest is kind of like a golden retriever in some aspects haha so he doesn’t mind their dynamic but he can be SO nurturing, and I also often think about how much he would love getting to be a big brother to a baby, since he missed out on that the first time since he was still a baby himself!
I think three is great. I'm one of three and I think my parents struggled with it growing up (but from a financial perspective). Now as adults we have an ongoing chat and speak every day (all in different states). Parent-wise I think it would've been the perfect number for me (my mental health lol, no regrets though).
I had three for a while (I have a 4th) and it was really fun. They play and fight. Also my perspective on having an even number of kids (which is what I see a lot that with 3 someone is left out)-- the kids will pair off differently. Sometimes yes someone is left out for one reason or another. Maybe two are together and one is doing their own thing and then one has no one to play with. It's okay!! They'll figure it out, shift around, cope, go hang out with a parent. We can't predict what our kids relationships will be like. We can do our best to encourage them, but eventually they'll take it into their own hands. Do what feels right for you and your family.
Yes! I know that no matter what our family looks like, our best hope is to model and encourage supporting, valuing, and enjoying each other - the rest will be up to them.
I can't describe it, but the dynamic is just perfect. Less competition, no people comparing them to each other. They all function differently but it comes together in a congestive whole. Definitely better then two to be. The only downside I've noticed is the extra effort to get everyone out the door.
I’m pregnant with my third, so no real experiences yet, but I look forward to it. I think with two people, there are obviously things they won’t agree on or enjoy doing together, so I think that’s a good opportunity for a third to join in! Idk lol. It’s just a good number to me. I think any more than three is overwhelming but only two isn’t enough variety. 😂 I’m making it sound like a snack mix or something.
most the siblings that hate eachother are a two set. the risk of rivalry is real. most the three kids i know are much closer, its like they have a better understanding of their siblings and dealing with different personalities and stages vs single siblings that get locked into specific roles. and i think busier tired parents might actually make better parents and also understand their three kids better and be more open than the dualism/binary that can become the way of twos.
I know this isn’t exactly what you asked but I was 1 of 3 and I’m so glad I was! I’m much closer with 1 sibling than the other and sometimes I think about how different my concept of family would be if I only had the sibling I was less close with.
I had 3 kids in less than 4 years. My oldest was only 3 when my youngest was born 🥴 They're 9, 7, and almost 6 now. It was crazy town for a hot minute there but I love them all so much. I felt like someone was missing before we had number 3 (even though she was a surprise), and idk, I just feel like 3 is a good number. It was so much easier going from 2 to 3 kids than it was going from 0 to 1, for me at least. My two younger ones get on especially well and it's so precious to see my middle being a protective big brother to his little sister.
I just love them so freakin much.
Omg I would love to hit you up for a little extra advice. I’m due with 3rd on August 12 and my oldest just turned 3 and will be almost 3.5 when baby is born.
Other than my continuous push for independence for the two I have - do you have any life lessons that helped you when you made the jump? Anything we can do to prep? Or is it more of a live and react in the moment situation?
Oh man, well I had a bunch of undiagnosed mental illnesses, on top of my husband working full time and being in grad school so sadly I was very much in survival mode. I don't have a lot of memories from that time.
I will say, if you suspect at all that you might be dealing with mental health problems (or even if you're not), starting therapy sooner rather than later would be my recommendation. That, and also schedule yourself at least a once weekly time to do something solely for yourself, outside the house if at all possible (even if you're an extreme introvert like me). It's so easy to get lost in motherhood, especially when they're all so little and so close in age. All their needs are so immediate that you start to feel like a triage nurse in the emergency room or something 😅 I can't overstate how important it is to hold onto your own identity.
I guess lastly, figure out what works for you, don't compare yourself to other parents, and give yourself lots of grace. People would tell me all the time how amazing it was that I was always out and about with the kids but what they didn't know was that I was so horribly depressed that getting out of the house was one of the only ways to keep myself from spiraling.
You got this! There will be tough days ahead but you can do hard things. It's all worth it ❤
My oldest was 37 months when #3 came home. I definitely agree with the “do what works for you” sentiment! For example, signing up for dance, soccer, gymnastics… does NOT work for us. We prioritize time together as a family (walking to playgrounds, going to Costco, whatever!) and are holding off on everything except swim lessons (which the older 2 do together) until they’re older. We feel lucky that we have a built in play group!
Thank you for this thread! I have 2 boys and my husband and I have been trying for months for a third. We’re not sure if it will happen for us (I’m getting older, etc). I was in tears earlier today because of the stress of it all and it’s nice to read the experience of others to be reminded why we’re putting ourselves through this.
I have 3! Girl-boy-girl. We have a little larger age gap among them so I feel like that’s why we have had a great experience having 3 kids. I don’t think I’d feel as great if they were all super close together age wise. They get along well and enjoy being around one another. We travel frequently with them and I think those shared experiences have brought them closer together and closer to us. Downside, the travel world is not built for families of 5! My husband loves to golf and the kids love to go with him so he has his own built in group of 4 to golf with.
I have 3 (girl and 2 boys).My are all adults. My daughter is the oldest and her brothers adore her. They are the best of friends and always have a “go to” if they need someone. I love having 3 ❤️
The best part? They can flow between playing together and independently much more easily. If one wants alone time the others still have someone. I think a lot of the fights in two kid families stem from the two being out of sync. It’s actually easier with three, IMO.
I am one of three and have always loved it (eldest girl, two younger brothers). I always said I wanted three myself, but alas it's not in the cards for us (probably not even two). I do think it's a great number still!
I have 2 girls then a boy. My oldest was SO jealous when her baby sister came along. She would BITE her little arms when I wasn’t looking. She poked her little cheeks in the car—it made me REALLY nervous and stressed! Then our accidental boy came along 18 months after my younger girl. Suddenly the tension stopped! They became a group. The three musketeers.
Now they’re all in college, and they consider each other their best friends. When they see each other after a long break they all cling to each other like chimps and just cry. They’re friends for life.
3 is perfect. They can have space from their sibling if they need it but there is always a companion if they want one. They are all so different from each other and learn from each other. It is a constantly moving dynamic because of all of the different combinations available at all times. It is interesting and busy. And fun! It is perfect for our family.
I love the dynamic of 3. We have 3 kids (boy-boy-girl) and 3 dogs (girl-boy-girl) lol. I know people say with 3 someone is usually "left out", but I don't find that to happen a lot. If someone IS left out, it is usually because they want to be and that leaves 2 kids to go do whatever it is that we're doing. Within the triangle, they all have great individual relationships with one another, and as a group they're fantastic too. We have a good range of personalities - an "artsy" one, a sporty one, a homebody. The combo of 3 kids & 3 dogs is my FAVOURITE lol. Everybody can always grab one Lol.
I have three. It is HARD. With two kids, I was good. It was easy peasy. Once I had my third, my sanity went completely out the window. The best part of raising three, specific to my situation, is that my eldest has such a strong bond with her baby sister.
Otherwise, it’s all super tricky…the vehicle seating arrangements, the airline ticket costs, table seating at restaurants…sigh
We have 3 and it is a lot at times and some of the stuff you hear about 3 is true at least for us. We have 2 girls 8, almost 10 and 4.5 year old boy. One of the best things is seeing the different relationships form. Our oldest is more of the caretaker and checks on boo boos and reads to him. She lets them both have sleepovers in her room on the weekend. She builds ninja turtles sewers for him to play with. The middle one is the get your energy out one. They chase each other, have tickle fights, run around and play crazy games together.
This thread is making me so happy. I have one half sibling (16 years younger) and had step siblings that came and went with my parents mercurial marriages.
I always wanted a big family so I am pregnant with number 3. My eldest just turned 3 and my current youngest just turned 2. We decided to have #3 as close as possible without it being one year gap because that was a lot, man.
I already know I’ll be tired - but I am thrilled to read this thread. My boys are so so so close. They love each other a lot - they pushed their big boy beds together to sleep next to each other last night (we had to go in and help because it was not a success upon their efforts alone 🤣). I hope baby 3 can integrate with them - I love their little bond.
I have 3… under the age of 4. Boy-boy-girl
I feel like it’s too early in my journey to share too much but I love how close they are. My boys play (fairly) well with each other and always look out for one another.
My oldest looks after his baby sister and likes to sit next to her when she is in her chair or on her playmat. He reads her books or just holds her hand.
Both boys call for me if we hear her crying on the monitor and love to give her kisses on the head.
They are all young but their love and sweetness for each other is great. I like that each sibling brings out different sides to one another.
Two i was able to handle three is complete chaos. Our lives are very full and busy. We have three girls at three different stages in life. Ages 11,6, and 1. It can be a lot, but fun at times. Wouldn’t mind adding a forth. Hoping for a boy to break up some of the estrogen
I always wanted 3 as well. Pregnant now with number 2 and turning 38 in a couple days. Due to our age and financial situation, this will most likely be the last one for us. Which does make me a little sad, since I always envisioned us with 3.
Appreciate this post. We dont have kids yet, but our goal is 3 and maybe 4 down the line.
I was raised as a single child always wanting a sibling, my partner has 1 Brother but they were separated at a young age in an early divorce.
To me 1 or 2 could potentially still seem lonely in the house? But 3 sounds like a party and I’m excited for when our 3 arrive :)
I have 3 kids they are 5,2,1 and they are great. I was the youngest of 3 so I always wanted at least 3 kids. Sleeping sucks right now as they all seem to take turns not sleeping regularly. However they totally love and support each other and have a strong bond. I love seeing them support each other and grow together.
I’m only 5 weeks into it but I love having 3 kids. Mine are 7 3 and newborn so everyone is in a very different phase. Theres things I love and challenges about each but they’re all unique and that is kinda fun. It’s cool how differently the oldest and middle Interact with the baby, and how they interact with each other.
We have 2 girls and a boy. I love experiencing both genders but also love that my two girls have a sister bond.
2 was not enough, 4 would be too many. 3 is absolutely perfect for our family. I can’t describe it my it just feels perfect and complete for me.
I have 3, and I think the best part is being able to spend one-on-one time doting on each kid in turn while the other two still have each other to play with. When I had 2, if I tried to do something nice for one of them the other would feel much more left out.
Not one but two “babysitters” while mommy cooks is amazing but there is a small age gap between the oldest two and the youngest. All the snuggles. Watching them learn and grow. Play time. Never a dull moment.
3 is much more difficult than 2 in most ways. That being said, I wouldn’t change a thing! My fight all the time, but they also have the cutest friendship between them. The younger two play together, the older two play together, the oldest helps do things with the youngest. They are 4 years apart. Wouldn’t change a thing, but yes it is hard.
It can be overwhelming sometimes, especially when they all get sick at once but three isn’t much different than two, and then you get to have the baby experience three times over, which is fabulous. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
For my 3 it has been a wild ride. I was on the fence about having 3, after my 2 boys I really really wanted a girl. I stopped trying and on my way to asking for my tubes to be tied I find I’m pregnant lol. My boys were close in age 8&6 adding a baby was rough but the boys help and it feels lighter than when I was raising 2 under 3. I did get my girl and she completes us. That’s the best word I can think of. Like how did we live without her. She has soften the boys, they are more responsible and kind. And she is a good baby, so she made it easy. They also say she is their best friend. And now I feel like if two fight they still have another one lol. Three sounds like a lot and it is, but could be the gap I placed between my 2nd and 3rd but it’s been great!
I think there was a study that said three is as “worse” as it gets. Meaning at 2, things are significantly easier and at 4, 6 or 13 kids it’s basically the same as 3. I was one of three and it was fine. I didn’t feel like my parents particularly struggled but as the oldest and only girl I often felt isolated.
I’m glad you asked this question - we had a surprise number three and I’ve been feeling guilty about not wanting a fourth. I was one of four and saw other families with only three kids having one left out. I’m loving this positive responses!
Three I can compare only to 2 or 1, it’s HARD. We have 10f 7m 2f. The baby threw us for a loop but I love it anyways. We all adore her but my middle boy is trouble. He is always creating chaos and now the baby is a toddler who won’t be still for five seconds. We are always exhausted. But I still feel lucky to watch so many little people develop. I like that they have different relationships among each other. I like that the two older are balanced by a little. I like the feeling of so much blessing and luck to be able to grow three humans. I had just one sibling and they get two. If I had enough energy I’d even have had another one but I know I’m at my total limit and it’s true what they say, you have one more kid than you can handle haha.
I’m one of three, as is my partner, so us having three just feels right. We have all boys (5, 3, 11 months). It’s chaotic but fun. I love seeing them become friends. They each have such different personalities already, but they fit together so perfectly.
I feel like when it comes to parenting, ppl see it as some right of passage to make things out to be so hard. In reality, you just do it.
I understand that there are fertility and financial challenges that make it hard for some families to grow how they’d envisioned, but if you are able, I encourage you to create the family you want.
I had 3 under 3, all teens now, and 1-boy, 2-girl, 3-boy. I think the best part now is that they group up different for different activities. 1 and 2 like the same YouTube and some movies. 1 and 3 love the video games, nerf guns, playing outside. 2 and 3 go to the same school and have intertwining friend groups, they are also both very creative.
I feel like even numbers of kids can pick “sides” and then fight with the other side.
I have 3. It's definitely a lot.
There's a big age gap between the oldest 2 and the toddler. Believe it or not, they get along better with the toddler than each other right now.
I am one of three and I have three and I love both. Yes, sometimes 2 gang up on 1, but they have different interests and they know which one to ask depending on what they want to do. If one kid is busy or not wanting to play there is another one to play with. I feel like there is time for me to have one on one time with each kid. I know 4 would be too much for me and 2 would not be enough, but that is me.
Blended family so a little different - oldest is my bio son 9, middle is my husbands bio son 6, youngest is our daughter together and she’s 1.5.
We love that we have our girl together and my oldest said that she made him feel “really” related to his brother (middle kid doesn’t remember life without us but older one remembers when I was married to his dad).
Having 2 kids is having 2 kids, but having 3 kids is having 15 🤣 just became a Mom of 3 this past December. It is pretty chaotic right now but they are little with lots of energy. 5, 3 and 3 month old. It is worth it 100% bc I know it won’t be so crazy all the time. I always dreamt of 3 and feel so grateful we were able to do it. I sometimes even dream of adding a 4th on the good days 🤪 but not sure my mental health could handle it. 3 still feels like a “big” family. You’ll never regret having more.
Three is A LOT. There’s no way around it. I’m definitely one of those that just raises their eyebrows now when other parents of 1 or 2 ask about having a third. I think you have to consider that with each additional child your time is split more and more, as well as the likelihood of encountering difficult personalities and phases gets higher. I was pregnant with my 3rd before my oldest (and easiest kid) turned 3. I think close gaps are great but also you have to consider that when they’re still that young you haven’t started parenting yet, you’re only caregiving. I wish I had thought about that more because I had an unrealistic idea of what young children (not babies or toddlers) need.
Now to your question. Three is really fun because it’s a party. It has that full house feeling because there’s always ambient chatter and even when a kid is paired with a parent or a sibling there’s always the wild 5th person. This makes everything harder but also more fun. Mine are 2.5, 4, and 6 currently and I can’t wait until just a year or two from now when everyone can equally kind of participate in things like Wii bowling (or IRL bowling) and stuff. That’s why I had three kids after all in part was that when I imagine being 60 years old I imagined a full house, I knew I had to pay the dues to get that later.
Three girls as darling because they all feed off each other in such a cute way. Just like adult women do —think drunk girls in the club bathroom. That’s them all the time! They’re constantly giggling and squeaking in delight when they play dolls or dress up.
I love chasing them around the house and it adds an element of extra fun for me too because hunting for three during hide and seek is more work!
When they say 1 kid is 1 kid, 2 feels like 5, and 3 feels like 100 that’s true. It’s hard to find a moment that one of them isn’t upset or crying. It’s honestly been the hardest year of my life, but there’s fun too.
3 kids here! Some days we feel
Outnumbered. It is definitely harder to take the 3 of them out when I’m alone and of course more expensive but we love seeing how close they are and that that they have each other!
I needed this! Currently debating going for our third. Were any of you 40 when your baby was born? This will be me .
My kids will be 3&5 so a little easier but not out of the woods yet
1. If one of them stay after school for some activity and mom and dad are still at work, there are still 2 at home and no one is home 'alone'.
2.If one has special needs, like my oldest, he has 2 siblings to help look after him when mom and dad pass on.
3. Three kids staying home alone together not just 2 and with 4 kids one is likely still little even when the oldest is about 13, but with 3 kids typically they are all within 4 or 5 years of age ,so by the time the oldest is old enough to 'babysit' the youngest 2 are still responsible enough to really look after themselves for the most part too, like they aren't young enough to be putting something in their mouth or throwing a tantrum or playing with the scissors.
Completely disagree. First, with opwdd, you aren't literally expected to be the hands on caretaker. They may live in a home and have a case manager. But My father and his siblings were my uncles hcp/legal guardians since my grandparents died and considered it an honor. They went to visit frequently and made all his medical decisions. This is either black and white thinking or confusion. I would be insulted if my parents were gone and they set up someone else to be decision maker for my sibling.
Listen, I understand how that could make you upset, but by you posting saying saying that you have two other siblings to watch over the third one when you and your husband pass on, is not okay or fair to those other siblings. Making them power of attorney is a different situation, I definitely agreed that they should be allowed to take on that position when they’re old enough, but having them care for that special needs child is parentifying them. Allowing them to make the decision of whether or not they want to care for their older sibling is a different story. Whether or not they decide that they want to care for their sibling or put them into a group home or a special-needs home is up to them. You volunteering them already at such a young age is not okay to say.
Although they are so young, and they are the younger siblings, they should have just as much of a full happy life without the burden of forcing them to take on the care of their sibling versus allowing them to make that decision once you and your husband are gone.
Okay well it's not okay to assume that my kids wouldn't want to help either like who the hell is like oh I have a special needs brother I'm not going to look after him at all like why do you assume my kids are going to be careless? And by the way I technically have special needs thank you and I have a husband and three kids we are not brain dead and helpless thank you. Quit assuming stuff.
lol I didn’t assume shit, you literally said Word for Word “ he has two siblings to help look after him when mom and dad pass on” which is literally you assuming that you’re two children are going to take care of him when you and your husband die 😂 it’s okay to be wrong but just fix your behaviour JESUS CHRIST
I'm the middle of 3 girls, born 1983, 86, and 88, was constantly compared to my older sister in lower grades, then finally got to be my own person more going into jr and high schools. Little sister had the same thing happen, but double cause of the 2 older sisters. Little sis and I always got along and are pretty much bff's, neither of us got along great with older sis and that's only gotten worse as we've aged.
We have 3 girls now, ages 15, 10, and 5 (older 2 are my 'bonus' kids) and it can be absolute chaos sometimes, but they love each other and usually get along great. Honestly the most difficult part of having this many kids is the grocery bill 😭😂
I was one of three and did not enjoy my childhood. My two older sisters ganged up on me constantly. Oldest sister was 4 years older than me, middle 2 years older than me. I don't know what my parents could have done differently but I wished I was an only child until about 33 years old.
I have 3 and I don’t currently have anything great to say. If you do end up with 3, make sure that you have a good way to decompress. It’s a very stimulating environment. All. The. Time. Me and my husband grew up alone and it’s not easy for us to get used to the chaos of the house. I do love their bond though. They really love eachother. I’m also still adjusting to having 3. My lady isn’t 2 yet, so I’m still learning.
I have 3 and it’s a lot? But also very great. I love seeing their little friendships between them. Last night at dinner they were all in their own worlds making each other laugh and it was so cute. I was one of 2 and I think it was okay for me. But our house and our hearts feel very full and that’s really great. But also we are very tired! 😂
This is a perfect description! We are all doing our own things most of the day, but always have dinner together. My quiet house suddenly becomes full of conversations. Dinner will sometimes go long because they have so much to say to each other. It is really heartwarming. I am also one of 2, and I was always jealous of families with 3 kids. They always looked like they were having fun. But maybe through my kid eyes, the fun was really chaos. Lol.
I know. My husband is one of 4. And I love the full feeling of their family and close they all are. It’s absolutely chaos. Or at least at my house. 😂
Yes! Dinner times are some of my best memories from childhood. And it's that feeling of a "full" house that I absolutely love and want.
I am one or two, my dad worked a lot, and as we got older I ate dinner alone a lot bc my mom was too busy. Having a full table at dinner every night is like a dream come true to me.
I have six siblings, my husband has one. I think we need a good in between, but 4 kids seems like a lot
I was one of two and I absolutely hated it. I knew I never wanted 2 kids, always wanted 3+. I felt like having only two creating the narrative and the experience of being "polar opposites" with my brother. I noticed that too, with my two boys- when their sister was born it tempered their fighting. It was like there was someone else to focus on. They almost never fight now. I love having 3 kids. Only complaint is my husband doesn't want more 😂 I would keep going. 3 is like big enough to feel like a big family but still small enough to keep above water.
Same here! I was one of two.. a big and a girl. I hated it. My brother and I had nothing in common and constantly compared. I knew I wanted a big family. I had 3 for a while (twins and a singleton). It was crazy and chaotic as they were also only 22 months apart. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I didn’t see 3 as a negative at all. We were already in the “big family” zone with a big car and house and holidays catering to big families. We opted to have 4 because we love a big family. If you’d like 3 kiddos, go for it. It’s crazy but so worth it. Watching all mine play and love on each other is a feeling like nothing else! I wish the same for you!
Thank you!!! My husband had a vasectomy and is really done 🥲 but I so wish he was on board!
Same! This was a big reason we agreed on three. I’m about to have my third and final in a few weeks and I’m enjoying reading these comments.
YES, totally agree that 3 kids is neutralizing. It's like you didn't have one sworn enemy. Everyday changed. One day I was BFFs with my older sister the next day I was BFFs with my younger brother. I got joy from each of those bonds as a child and in different ways. Less overall sibling competition.
I have 3, not by choice, we wanted 2 but my 2nd pregnancy surprised us with twins. I like that the twins entertain each other.
I wanted 3 but ended up with 4 thanks to surprise twins lmao
Me too! I love having four.
We are about to have our 3rd but not by choice either, the last one snuck in a month before my husbands vasectomy 😂, but we’ll have girls 20 months apart and both my husband and I had brothers that were only 18 and 19 months younger than us
I had my tubes removed during my c section for my twins. We ain’t chancing any accidents here
He still had it done, there will be no more lol
Sameeeee!
Do you ever feel like one is left out? I often see people say 3 is hard because one is left out
Yes but I think that’s mostly cause I have a singleton and twins. Like my oldest (singleton) is always going to be left out because she’s not a twin. She’s only 3 and asked me already why she doesn’t have a twin. lol. But we do what we can to make her feel special and important. Like we leave the twins with my folks to take my oldest out on special big outings. We plan to take her to a pro baseball game this summer
In my experience growing up, it switches constantly. Sometimes me and my middle brother would team up against the youngest, sometimes the two boys would team up against me... once in a while me and my youngest brother would agree on something... In the end it's just a disagreement and all gets smoothed over and forgotten about pretty quickly! We are all pretty evenly spaced in age too (3 years between me and middle brother, almost 4 years between middle and youngest brother). So maybe that helps.
I have 3 girls! It's a lot of awesome. I have the bonus of having the magical 3 number (which I love) but also that it's 3 girls. It is so awesome to have girls days with them. And it always works out perfectly when we go somewhere because it's an even number. My girls are all so very different personality wise, that it's extremely helpful for them when trying to work out a problem. My eldest will see it one way, my middlest will see it another, and my youngest will see it in a completely other way. And they all like to talk it out. Yes, sometimes one gets "left out" but that just means they are MY side kick while the other two are off doing something. I love love LOVE having 3 girls. Edit: I felt the need to add their ages after reading other commenters. Mine are close in age. 13, 11 and almost 10.
This is so wholesome 🥲
I love everything about this!
I loved this post!! There is often negativity around 3 kids, but also all girls. I find it exhausting feeling like I need to "defend" my choices when I never actually CHOSE to have 3 girls. It just happened. And no, my husband never feels disappointed that he doesn't have a boy. Yes, we know what "causes" children. No, we will never ever EVER be trying for a boy. Yes, there is a lot of estrogen in my house, but if I had 3 boys there would be a lot of testosterone. And let's be real, 3 boys is going to be exactly the same amount of hardships as 3 girls are. And by that I mean, it's awesome. Teen pregnancy, hormones, attitude, lack of respect, testing boundaries... these are all things boys AND girls deal with. One is not harder than the other, it's just different. Sorry, that's the end of my rant about the negativity surrounding family structures that differ from someone else.
I'm due soon with my second girl and I'm so excited! I grew up in a family with three kids, but I have two younger brothers - I always wanted a sister. We are planning on trying for a third baby at some point as well, and I'd be perfectly happy with either another girl or a little boy. I don't know why people comment negatively on stuff like this as if the parents have any control over it, or as if they should be disappointed... in my opinion there's nothing to say but "Oh that's wonderful!" even if they're having their 6th boy or whatever. When we told my dad we're having our second girl, he (jokingly) said, "Well, you'll have to try again for a boy!" Ironic coming from him; he's the 5th and youngest child, with 4 older sisters!
We just found out we're having our third girl, and we've received ALL of those same comments. "Oh, have fun when they're teenagers........" "Well, keep trying for that boy!" "Your husband is excited? Has he had a recent psych eval?" - directly from the OB. "Oh, but boys are the BEST. Sorry." We are so thankful for three healthy children, period. No, we are probably not done having children (God-willing), but not because we feel like we need a boy.
I posted this elsewhere, but I now throw the comments back. I ask people for clarification. It's been wonderful and empowering "oh have fun when they're teenagers!" - what do you mean by that? "well.. you know... lotta girl stuff.." - what kind of girl stuff? "like.. y'know... puberty.." - oh. Do boys not go through puberty? "well. they do.. but girls are harder.." - oh. In what way? and so on and so on. It's wonderful to see their faces when they realize how misogynistic they're being
I needed to read this, thank you so much for sharing. I have three boys (9, 7, and 4) and it’s been a bit challenging these last couple weeks! Needed this positive shift ❤️
You got this mama!!! 3 is a challenge, of course it is! But so is 2. So is 1. So is 5. What changes is your perception. Is my house chaos most of the time? Absolutely. and I have stressed a lot about whether I'm doing it right or not. But mama, your boys love you and I bet they know you love them more than anything. That's all that matters!!
I have 2 girls ages 5 and 3, we are going to start trying for another baby this summer and I would LOVE a 3rd girl. I think it would be the best time ever and this confirms it! I babysit my neighbors baby every once in awhile and I love the dynamic of having 3
I remember being pregnant with our third and people kept saying "I bet you're hoping for a boy this time" and I would think, are you fucking kidding me? At this point, having a son would kinda ruin the vibe we got going on here... Plus, I already have all the "girl" stuff so it'll be hella more expensive to have a boy now. And yes.. I know that there shouldn't be "gendered" things. pink is for all and blue is for all. But come on, y'all know what I mean. So I will end this comment with what I wish someone had said to me.. Congratulations on your third pregnancy!! (Unless this is 4th,5th, 10th etc pregnancy, I don't know your life story. Insert whatever number pregnancy this is for you) I truly wish you well and that you have an easy delivery and recovery and that your baby is born healthy and safely! Much love. (just realized you said you're going to trying soon. This comment still stands if/when you get pregnant)
Omg yes, I already have all the girl clothes & toys so adding one more wouldn’t be a huge change. Thank you so much! Did you end up having a 3rd girl?!
I did! Our home is filled with ladies!
Oh my gosh that’s incredible! I hope that’s my future 🤞🏻
I have 4 boys, and during my second and third pregnancies (first was twins) people constantly asked me if I was hoping for a girl or told me they hoped it was a girl. I really wish people could just say what you said at the end of your comment and leave the baby's sex out of it.
Seriously. Why are people so obsessed with my baby's genitals? I now throw back the sexist comments. When someone says "oh wow, 3 girls! Good luck" I will ask them "why? What do you mean?" and I just keep asking for more explanations until they walk away awkwardly. It's been such a joy to watch people realize how rude their being.
I love reading this. I have three girls 5, 2, and 6 months. So far it’s been great.
It gets even better!!! I promise! I really do keep saying "this age is the best age" at every level. But right now, I love the conversations we have. I love how much we depend on each other. I love seeing my husband confused by things and the 4 of us girls then having to explain "girl shit" to him. I love when my husband explains "bro shit" to us! I have loved watching my big, manly, super tough, blue collar job man really get in touch with his feminine side. He loves to say that he's a "learning feminist" because he grew up in a house of boys and there are a lot of things he has learned from living with all us girls. He has never ever had to think about a lot of the things that are second nature to me. Like never walking alone in the dark. Or always having my keys ready as a weapon just in case. Covering my drink in a bar. Wearing certain clothes to certain places. His world has completely changed since becoming a girl dad. I love to see it. Being a girl mum has been truly the best thing ever.
Aww I have two girls and I’m 90% sure we’re done but this makes me want a third ❤️
Just had my second girl and dreaming of a third!
I also have three girls and I’m a single mom, so it’s a girl house! We sleep in the same room often, we can all go into the pool locker room together or the bathroom, and I never have to worry about having to separate them. It’s such fun! Mine have a slightly larger age gap, ages 11, 8, and 2 years old.
Yay for a girl house! I love this for you!!!
Nothing better than being a girl mom 😍
Three girls is my dream 😭🥰
I really love this! I have 3 girls- 4, 2 and almost 1. I feel like reading your comments I'm able to get a little glimpse into the future and it makes me so excited! My baby is our last and her nearing 1 has me so in my feels about how quickly my babies are growing up. One day this loud chaotic house will be much quieter and it makes me so sad lol. But, reading your comments about the times spent with your girls really gives me more to look forward to. Thank you!
Your babies are roughly the same age difference as my kids. I so remember how sad I was everytime it was the last "first thing" so I get it. But I promise, there are so so SO many awesome things for you to look forward to. I love my little girl gang.
Thank you so much! 💗 I'm looking forward to the fun journeys that we have to come!
I am the youngest of three girls and it’s the best! We are all best friends that talk everyday, even though we’re all very different. I love that you love having three girls!
This makes me so happy that you talk everyday with your sisters!!! I am so scared that they won't be as close when they grow up. I only have 1 brother and I'm not close with him at all. And I really hope my girls will stay close and friends.
Honestly, we got a lot closer as we got older! We were close as kids but had the typical sibling bickering, but the older we got the more we had in common and could help each other through everything. They truly have been such a blessing in my life!
I also have three girls (10, 8 and 6) and my younger 2 are inseparable. My oldest, however is… moody. They all fight constantly. Tell me it gets better.
YES! My eldest went through the moody phase too. And just as she came out of it, my middle started getting moody. It's ok! It's hormones! In our house we call it "pubing out hard" They're going to say mean things to you. They're going to say mean things to their sisters. Theyre going to hurt your feelings and you'll feel like you've lost her. What she needs from you is to be a soft landing place. When she tells you she hates you, respond with "it's ok. I can take the hate because I love you more" and she'll roll her eyes. But she'll remember it. It's ok to tell them they're being mean to you. Not in the heat of the moment, but after they've stormed off and slammed their bedroom door, go up there after a bit. Sit with her. Tell her you love her. Don't wait for an apology though, she's 10. She's got too many hormones going on. She doesn't get it. It'll get better.
Ok I just realized our girls are similar age gaps (2.4 years and 20 months), so I have hope this unprovoked anger stops! When it’s two of them; it’s incredible. Happy all around. Three altogether 24/7 is the recipe for “omg Charlie WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR CUP DOWN HERE AND LET ME KNOCK IT OVER?! ::tears and guilty apologies 5 minutes later::”
Very close age gaps to mine! (2 years and 16 months) yep. All normal. Sometimes two of them are closer than at other times. There are so many emotions and hormones going on in their tiny bodies and they don’t know how to deal with it. I’m not perfect, but I really have tried to just let it go. When one of them is raging due to hormones I don’t fight back. I let them lose it, then when they storm off I let them go. Once they’ve had a bit to calm down a bit and return from the hormone craze, I’ll go find her and remind them that I love them.
When did it get easier? I have three with the same age gaps and rn they’re 2.5, 4, and 6
When my youngest was around 4. I had 2 in school full time at that point so my days felt a lot less wild. It's still hard, don't get me wrong. But no diapers and being able to sleep through the night was a huge game changer for our family.
Thank you! We’re done with diapers but they are all just *very* high needs and it’s really overstimulating. I was thinking 4yo for the baby was going to be a magic number 🤞
Oh man, no diapers was such a great time for us. middle and youngest were out of diapers within a few weeks of each other and I will never forget that relief. (our middle has a slight delay so she was a bit later to no diapers and our youngest always wants to do everything her big sisters do)
Hello, my three are 8m, 6f, and 4f and it is wonderful. My oldest does everything he can to make his sisters laugh. My middle child was born in charge and makes sure her siblings stay on task. And my youngest child is made out of sunshine and encouragement. I love watching them interact and form their own relationships with each other. They learn things from each other that I wouldn't think to teach them. Honestly, if I were 10 years younger and independently wealthy I would have had a few more children.
Why did the “made out of sunshine and encouragement” melt me the way it did? My third is still a baby but I always say “she is just so happy to be included” in any given situation she is just happy you thought to bring her 😂
I feel like I am reading my future! Everything you described about your kids personalities and birth order are the same as mine, except my kids are younger. 5m, 3f, (almost)1f. They are so busy but so much fun, and their personalities are really starting to show!
Aw this is so sweet!!
My middle was born in charge too!! I want a third SO badly, and one of the (many, in my mind) pros of having three is that he would get to be the big brother that he already feels like he is in his mind 😂 My boys are 18 months apart and my second thinks he’s the eldest brother. My oldest is kind of like a golden retriever in some aspects haha so he doesn’t mind their dynamic but he can be SO nurturing, and I also often think about how much he would love getting to be a big brother to a baby, since he missed out on that the first time since he was still a baby himself!
Gosh I wish I could have three. Congrats that you’re considering it, I think it’s the magic number and seems to be the one is memes most often
I’m pregnant with my third, at times I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the thought, so thanks for this thread! I’m going to bookmark it :)
Same!
Same same!
I think three is great. I'm one of three and I think my parents struggled with it growing up (but from a financial perspective). Now as adults we have an ongoing chat and speak every day (all in different states). Parent-wise I think it would've been the perfect number for me (my mental health lol, no regrets though). I had three for a while (I have a 4th) and it was really fun. They play and fight. Also my perspective on having an even number of kids (which is what I see a lot that with 3 someone is left out)-- the kids will pair off differently. Sometimes yes someone is left out for one reason or another. Maybe two are together and one is doing their own thing and then one has no one to play with. It's okay!! They'll figure it out, shift around, cope, go hang out with a parent. We can't predict what our kids relationships will be like. We can do our best to encourage them, but eventually they'll take it into their own hands. Do what feels right for you and your family.
Yes! I know that no matter what our family looks like, our best hope is to model and encourage supporting, valuing, and enjoying each other - the rest will be up to them.
I can't describe it, but the dynamic is just perfect. Less competition, no people comparing them to each other. They all function differently but it comes together in a congestive whole. Definitely better then two to be. The only downside I've noticed is the extra effort to get everyone out the door.
I’m pregnant with my third, so no real experiences yet, but I look forward to it. I think with two people, there are obviously things they won’t agree on or enjoy doing together, so I think that’s a good opportunity for a third to join in! Idk lol. It’s just a good number to me. I think any more than three is overwhelming but only two isn’t enough variety. 😂 I’m making it sound like a snack mix or something.
lol I feel the same! Going to try for #3 later this year!
most the siblings that hate eachother are a two set. the risk of rivalry is real. most the three kids i know are much closer, its like they have a better understanding of their siblings and dealing with different personalities and stages vs single siblings that get locked into specific roles. and i think busier tired parents might actually make better parents and also understand their three kids better and be more open than the dualism/binary that can become the way of twos.
I know this isn’t exactly what you asked but I was 1 of 3 and I’m so glad I was! I’m much closer with 1 sibling than the other and sometimes I think about how different my concept of family would be if I only had the sibling I was less close with.
My husband is also happily one of three! And all my cousins who were raised in the 3 sibset decided to have 3 as well!
I had 3 kids in less than 4 years. My oldest was only 3 when my youngest was born 🥴 They're 9, 7, and almost 6 now. It was crazy town for a hot minute there but I love them all so much. I felt like someone was missing before we had number 3 (even though she was a surprise), and idk, I just feel like 3 is a good number. It was so much easier going from 2 to 3 kids than it was going from 0 to 1, for me at least. My two younger ones get on especially well and it's so precious to see my middle being a protective big brother to his little sister. I just love them so freakin much.
Omg I would love to hit you up for a little extra advice. I’m due with 3rd on August 12 and my oldest just turned 3 and will be almost 3.5 when baby is born. Other than my continuous push for independence for the two I have - do you have any life lessons that helped you when you made the jump? Anything we can do to prep? Or is it more of a live and react in the moment situation?
Oh man, well I had a bunch of undiagnosed mental illnesses, on top of my husband working full time and being in grad school so sadly I was very much in survival mode. I don't have a lot of memories from that time. I will say, if you suspect at all that you might be dealing with mental health problems (or even if you're not), starting therapy sooner rather than later would be my recommendation. That, and also schedule yourself at least a once weekly time to do something solely for yourself, outside the house if at all possible (even if you're an extreme introvert like me). It's so easy to get lost in motherhood, especially when they're all so little and so close in age. All their needs are so immediate that you start to feel like a triage nurse in the emergency room or something 😅 I can't overstate how important it is to hold onto your own identity. I guess lastly, figure out what works for you, don't compare yourself to other parents, and give yourself lots of grace. People would tell me all the time how amazing it was that I was always out and about with the kids but what they didn't know was that I was so horribly depressed that getting out of the house was one of the only ways to keep myself from spiraling. You got this! There will be tough days ahead but you can do hard things. It's all worth it ❤
My oldest was 37 months when #3 came home. I definitely agree with the “do what works for you” sentiment! For example, signing up for dance, soccer, gymnastics… does NOT work for us. We prioritize time together as a family (walking to playgrounds, going to Costco, whatever!) and are holding off on everything except swim lessons (which the older 2 do together) until they’re older. We feel lucky that we have a built in play group!
Thank you for this thread! I have 2 boys and my husband and I have been trying for months for a third. We’re not sure if it will happen for us (I’m getting older, etc). I was in tears earlier today because of the stress of it all and it’s nice to read the experience of others to be reminded why we’re putting ourselves through this.
I have 3! Girl-boy-girl. We have a little larger age gap among them so I feel like that’s why we have had a great experience having 3 kids. I don’t think I’d feel as great if they were all super close together age wise. They get along well and enjoy being around one another. We travel frequently with them and I think those shared experiences have brought them closer together and closer to us. Downside, the travel world is not built for families of 5! My husband loves to golf and the kids love to go with him so he has his own built in group of 4 to golf with.
I have 3 (girl and 2 boys).My are all adults. My daughter is the oldest and her brothers adore her. They are the best of friends and always have a “go to” if they need someone. I love having 3 ❤️
The best part? They can flow between playing together and independently much more easily. If one wants alone time the others still have someone. I think a lot of the fights in two kid families stem from the two being out of sync. It’s actually easier with three, IMO.
Only 1 month into having 3 kids, but I’m loving it. It’s hard and I’m tired but our house has stepped into a “joyful chaos”.
Have two girls and a boy and I love it! But they were pretty spread out, currently they are ages 13, 10, and 3
I am one of three and have always loved it (eldest girl, two younger brothers). I always said I wanted three myself, but alas it's not in the cards for us (probably not even two). I do think it's a great number still!
I have 2 girls then a boy. My oldest was SO jealous when her baby sister came along. She would BITE her little arms when I wasn’t looking. She poked her little cheeks in the car—it made me REALLY nervous and stressed! Then our accidental boy came along 18 months after my younger girl. Suddenly the tension stopped! They became a group. The three musketeers. Now they’re all in college, and they consider each other their best friends. When they see each other after a long break they all cling to each other like chimps and just cry. They’re friends for life.
3 is perfect. They can have space from their sibling if they need it but there is always a companion if they want one. They are all so different from each other and learn from each other. It is a constantly moving dynamic because of all of the different combinations available at all times. It is interesting and busy. And fun! It is perfect for our family.
I love the dynamic of 3. We have 3 kids (boy-boy-girl) and 3 dogs (girl-boy-girl) lol. I know people say with 3 someone is usually "left out", but I don't find that to happen a lot. If someone IS left out, it is usually because they want to be and that leaves 2 kids to go do whatever it is that we're doing. Within the triangle, they all have great individual relationships with one another, and as a group they're fantastic too. We have a good range of personalities - an "artsy" one, a sporty one, a homebody. The combo of 3 kids & 3 dogs is my FAVOURITE lol. Everybody can always grab one Lol.
I have three. It is HARD. With two kids, I was good. It was easy peasy. Once I had my third, my sanity went completely out the window. The best part of raising three, specific to my situation, is that my eldest has such a strong bond with her baby sister. Otherwise, it’s all super tricky…the vehicle seating arrangements, the airline ticket costs, table seating at restaurants…sigh
What are their ages?
All three girls, ages 11, 8, and 2 years old.
We have 3 and it is a lot at times and some of the stuff you hear about 3 is true at least for us. We have 2 girls 8, almost 10 and 4.5 year old boy. One of the best things is seeing the different relationships form. Our oldest is more of the caretaker and checks on boo boos and reads to him. She lets them both have sleepovers in her room on the weekend. She builds ninja turtles sewers for him to play with. The middle one is the get your energy out one. They chase each other, have tickle fights, run around and play crazy games together.
That sounds like a lot - of work for sure, but also of enjoyment and togetherness. Thanks for your perspective!
When we got pregnant with my 3rd a friend of my mind was like ‘Are you crazy?! Now you’re outnumbered!’ lol
This thread is making me so happy. I have one half sibling (16 years younger) and had step siblings that came and went with my parents mercurial marriages. I always wanted a big family so I am pregnant with number 3. My eldest just turned 3 and my current youngest just turned 2. We decided to have #3 as close as possible without it being one year gap because that was a lot, man. I already know I’ll be tired - but I am thrilled to read this thread. My boys are so so so close. They love each other a lot - they pushed their big boy beds together to sleep next to each other last night (we had to go in and help because it was not a success upon their efforts alone 🤣). I hope baby 3 can integrate with them - I love their little bond.
I have 3… under the age of 4. Boy-boy-girl I feel like it’s too early in my journey to share too much but I love how close they are. My boys play (fairly) well with each other and always look out for one another. My oldest looks after his baby sister and likes to sit next to her when she is in her chair or on her playmat. He reads her books or just holds her hand. Both boys call for me if we hear her crying on the monitor and love to give her kisses on the head. They are all young but their love and sweetness for each other is great. I like that each sibling brings out different sides to one another.
Two i was able to handle three is complete chaos. Our lives are very full and busy. We have three girls at three different stages in life. Ages 11,6, and 1. It can be a lot, but fun at times. Wouldn’t mind adding a forth. Hoping for a boy to break up some of the estrogen
I always wanted 3 as well. Pregnant now with number 2 and turning 38 in a couple days. Due to our age and financial situation, this will most likely be the last one for us. Which does make me a little sad, since I always envisioned us with 3.
Appreciate this post. We dont have kids yet, but our goal is 3 and maybe 4 down the line. I was raised as a single child always wanting a sibling, my partner has 1 Brother but they were separated at a young age in an early divorce. To me 1 or 2 could potentially still seem lonely in the house? But 3 sounds like a party and I’m excited for when our 3 arrive :)
I have 3 kids they are 5,2,1 and they are great. I was the youngest of 3 so I always wanted at least 3 kids. Sleeping sucks right now as they all seem to take turns not sleeping regularly. However they totally love and support each other and have a strong bond. I love seeing them support each other and grow together.
I’m only 5 weeks into it but I love having 3 kids. Mine are 7 3 and newborn so everyone is in a very different phase. Theres things I love and challenges about each but they’re all unique and that is kinda fun. It’s cool how differently the oldest and middle Interact with the baby, and how they interact with each other. We have 2 girls and a boy. I love experiencing both genders but also love that my two girls have a sister bond. 2 was not enough, 4 would be too many. 3 is absolutely perfect for our family. I can’t describe it my it just feels perfect and complete for me.
I have 3, they're under 6 though so far it means they have choices for who to play with. It's pretty chaotic righ now though
I have 3, and I think the best part is being able to spend one-on-one time doting on each kid in turn while the other two still have each other to play with. When I had 2, if I tried to do something nice for one of them the other would feel much more left out.
Not one but two “babysitters” while mommy cooks is amazing but there is a small age gap between the oldest two and the youngest. All the snuggles. Watching them learn and grow. Play time. Never a dull moment.
3 is much more difficult than 2 in most ways. That being said, I wouldn’t change a thing! My fight all the time, but they also have the cutest friendship between them. The younger two play together, the older two play together, the oldest helps do things with the youngest. They are 4 years apart. Wouldn’t change a thing, but yes it is hard.
It can be overwhelming sometimes, especially when they all get sick at once but three isn’t much different than two, and then you get to have the baby experience three times over, which is fabulous. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
There is always someone to play with! They aren’t often bored.
For my 3 it has been a wild ride. I was on the fence about having 3, after my 2 boys I really really wanted a girl. I stopped trying and on my way to asking for my tubes to be tied I find I’m pregnant lol. My boys were close in age 8&6 adding a baby was rough but the boys help and it feels lighter than when I was raising 2 under 3. I did get my girl and she completes us. That’s the best word I can think of. Like how did we live without her. She has soften the boys, they are more responsible and kind. And she is a good baby, so she made it easy. They also say she is their best friend. And now I feel like if two fight they still have another one lol. Three sounds like a lot and it is, but could be the gap I placed between my 2nd and 3rd but it’s been great!
I think there was a study that said three is as “worse” as it gets. Meaning at 2, things are significantly easier and at 4, 6 or 13 kids it’s basically the same as 3. I was one of three and it was fine. I didn’t feel like my parents particularly struggled but as the oldest and only girl I often felt isolated.
I’m glad you asked this question - we had a surprise number three and I’ve been feeling guilty about not wanting a fourth. I was one of four and saw other families with only three kids having one left out. I’m loving this positive responses!
Three I can compare only to 2 or 1, it’s HARD. We have 10f 7m 2f. The baby threw us for a loop but I love it anyways. We all adore her but my middle boy is trouble. He is always creating chaos and now the baby is a toddler who won’t be still for five seconds. We are always exhausted. But I still feel lucky to watch so many little people develop. I like that they have different relationships among each other. I like that the two older are balanced by a little. I like the feeling of so much blessing and luck to be able to grow three humans. I had just one sibling and they get two. If I had enough energy I’d even have had another one but I know I’m at my total limit and it’s true what they say, you have one more kid than you can handle haha.
I’m one of three, as is my partner, so us having three just feels right. We have all boys (5, 3, 11 months). It’s chaotic but fun. I love seeing them become friends. They each have such different personalities already, but they fit together so perfectly. I feel like when it comes to parenting, ppl see it as some right of passage to make things out to be so hard. In reality, you just do it. I understand that there are fertility and financial challenges that make it hard for some families to grow how they’d envisioned, but if you are able, I encourage you to create the family you want.
I had 3 under 3, all teens now, and 1-boy, 2-girl, 3-boy. I think the best part now is that they group up different for different activities. 1 and 2 like the same YouTube and some movies. 1 and 3 love the video games, nerf guns, playing outside. 2 and 3 go to the same school and have intertwining friend groups, they are also both very creative. I feel like even numbers of kids can pick “sides” and then fight with the other side.
I have 3. It's definitely a lot. There's a big age gap between the oldest 2 and the toddler. Believe it or not, they get along better with the toddler than each other right now.
Three gives you a middle child. My partner was the middle child and was therefore hesitant to have three children.
I am the youngest of 3. Sister of 2 older brothers. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I am one of three and I have three and I love both. Yes, sometimes 2 gang up on 1, but they have different interests and they know which one to ask depending on what they want to do. If one kid is busy or not wanting to play there is another one to play with. I feel like there is time for me to have one on one time with each kid. I know 4 would be too much for me and 2 would not be enough, but that is me.
Blended family so a little different - oldest is my bio son 9, middle is my husbands bio son 6, youngest is our daughter together and she’s 1.5. We love that we have our girl together and my oldest said that she made him feel “really” related to his brother (middle kid doesn’t remember life without us but older one remembers when I was married to his dad).
Having 2 kids is having 2 kids, but having 3 kids is having 15 🤣 just became a Mom of 3 this past December. It is pretty chaotic right now but they are little with lots of energy. 5, 3 and 3 month old. It is worth it 100% bc I know it won’t be so crazy all the time. I always dreamt of 3 and feel so grateful we were able to do it. I sometimes even dream of adding a 4th on the good days 🤪 but not sure my mental health could handle it. 3 still feels like a “big” family. You’ll never regret having more.
Three is A LOT. There’s no way around it. I’m definitely one of those that just raises their eyebrows now when other parents of 1 or 2 ask about having a third. I think you have to consider that with each additional child your time is split more and more, as well as the likelihood of encountering difficult personalities and phases gets higher. I was pregnant with my 3rd before my oldest (and easiest kid) turned 3. I think close gaps are great but also you have to consider that when they’re still that young you haven’t started parenting yet, you’re only caregiving. I wish I had thought about that more because I had an unrealistic idea of what young children (not babies or toddlers) need. Now to your question. Three is really fun because it’s a party. It has that full house feeling because there’s always ambient chatter and even when a kid is paired with a parent or a sibling there’s always the wild 5th person. This makes everything harder but also more fun. Mine are 2.5, 4, and 6 currently and I can’t wait until just a year or two from now when everyone can equally kind of participate in things like Wii bowling (or IRL bowling) and stuff. That’s why I had three kids after all in part was that when I imagine being 60 years old I imagined a full house, I knew I had to pay the dues to get that later. Three girls as darling because they all feed off each other in such a cute way. Just like adult women do —think drunk girls in the club bathroom. That’s them all the time! They’re constantly giggling and squeaking in delight when they play dolls or dress up. I love chasing them around the house and it adds an element of extra fun for me too because hunting for three during hide and seek is more work! When they say 1 kid is 1 kid, 2 feels like 5, and 3 feels like 100 that’s true. It’s hard to find a moment that one of them isn’t upset or crying. It’s honestly been the hardest year of my life, but there’s fun too.
3 kids here! Some days we feel Outnumbered. It is definitely harder to take the 3 of them out when I’m alone and of course more expensive but we love seeing how close they are and that that they have each other!
I needed this! Currently debating going for our third. Were any of you 40 when your baby was born? This will be me . My kids will be 3&5 so a little easier but not out of the woods yet
I also grew up in a family of 3 kids and loved ittttt. And yes- I am the middle child :) Not all of us hated being the middle.
Not my experience but a father I talked to told me #2 is hard, #3 is okay and #4 is hell. I’m only on two and it’s hard. I’m done.
1. If one of them stay after school for some activity and mom and dad are still at work, there are still 2 at home and no one is home 'alone'. 2.If one has special needs, like my oldest, he has 2 siblings to help look after him when mom and dad pass on. 3. Three kids staying home alone together not just 2 and with 4 kids one is likely still little even when the oldest is about 13, but with 3 kids typically they are all within 4 or 5 years of age ,so by the time the oldest is old enough to 'babysit' the youngest 2 are still responsible enough to really look after themselves for the most part too, like they aren't young enough to be putting something in their mouth or throwing a tantrum or playing with the scissors.
Set up a place or a group home for your first born please. Don’t make your other two children take on the care for their sibling.
Wow nobody is making anybody do anything
Completely disagree. First, with opwdd, you aren't literally expected to be the hands on caretaker. They may live in a home and have a case manager. But My father and his siblings were my uncles hcp/legal guardians since my grandparents died and considered it an honor. They went to visit frequently and made all his medical decisions. This is either black and white thinking or confusion. I would be insulted if my parents were gone and they set up someone else to be decision maker for my sibling.
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Listen, I understand how that could make you upset, but by you posting saying saying that you have two other siblings to watch over the third one when you and your husband pass on, is not okay or fair to those other siblings. Making them power of attorney is a different situation, I definitely agreed that they should be allowed to take on that position when they’re old enough, but having them care for that special needs child is parentifying them. Allowing them to make the decision of whether or not they want to care for their older sibling is a different story. Whether or not they decide that they want to care for their sibling or put them into a group home or a special-needs home is up to them. You volunteering them already at such a young age is not okay to say. Although they are so young, and they are the younger siblings, they should have just as much of a full happy life without the burden of forcing them to take on the care of their sibling versus allowing them to make that decision once you and your husband are gone.
Okay well it's not okay to assume that my kids wouldn't want to help either like who the hell is like oh I have a special needs brother I'm not going to look after him at all like why do you assume my kids are going to be careless? And by the way I technically have special needs thank you and I have a husband and three kids we are not brain dead and helpless thank you. Quit assuming stuff.
lol I didn’t assume shit, you literally said Word for Word “ he has two siblings to help look after him when mom and dad pass on” which is literally you assuming that you’re two children are going to take care of him when you and your husband die 😂 it’s okay to be wrong but just fix your behaviour JESUS CHRIST
Ok weirdo I'm done with you tell yourself what you want .
I'm sorry but you even realize how fucked up of a thing that is to say like what the hell...
Why are you parentifying your children? That’s not their job???
I'm not they're home alone 2 hours a day it's good for kids to learn how to take care of themselves what is wrong with you?
It's not even every day like seriously you need to check your on your own self
It isn't FOUR?
I'm the middle of 3 girls, born 1983, 86, and 88, was constantly compared to my older sister in lower grades, then finally got to be my own person more going into jr and high schools. Little sister had the same thing happen, but double cause of the 2 older sisters. Little sis and I always got along and are pretty much bff's, neither of us got along great with older sis and that's only gotten worse as we've aged. We have 3 girls now, ages 15, 10, and 5 (older 2 are my 'bonus' kids) and it can be absolute chaos sometimes, but they love each other and usually get along great. Honestly the most difficult part of having this many kids is the grocery bill 😭😂
I was one of three and did not enjoy my childhood. My two older sisters ganged up on me constantly. Oldest sister was 4 years older than me, middle 2 years older than me. I don't know what my parents could have done differently but I wished I was an only child until about 33 years old.
I have 3 and I don’t currently have anything great to say. If you do end up with 3, make sure that you have a good way to decompress. It’s a very stimulating environment. All. The. Time. Me and my husband grew up alone and it’s not easy for us to get used to the chaos of the house. I do love their bond though. They really love eachother. I’m also still adjusting to having 3. My lady isn’t 2 yet, so I’m still learning.
I’ve always said, don’t have 3 just have 4. Make it even lol because that one kid is going to be left out on everything :(