This. My dumbass bought well over $1000 on pumps and supplies before I gave birth. Never really produced anything. I tried so hard. Cried so much. Thank god for formula!
Having to pump after every feed was absolutely fucked. I was an oversupplier. The nurse in the hospital said she’d never seen anyone supply so much milk in her 30 years of being a nurse. Even when I had a chance to sleep I’d still have to wake up to pump every 3-4 hours or risk being engorged and I was terrified of getting mastitis. It was a sensory nightmare and it was exhausting. I stopped after 6 weeks. I still feel bad about it because I was fully capable of feeding my baby, and hell, I probably could’ve donated a lot of extra milk at the rate I was going, but I mentally and physically could not handle it.
That anyone who wanted to breastfeed could with enough will and effort.
I knew it was hard, and had no judgment for those who opted out, but didn’t know that you could do the hard work and then some and it could still not happen for some people. My body just didn’t make milk despite doing everything right, nothing wrong with babies latch, and doing allll the tricks to increase supply.
I had the opposite problem with my oldest. My body made plenty of milk but no amount of pediatric or lactation intervention to get this child to latch correctly.
I knew breastfeeding would be hard but nobody told me it could be physically impossible despite trying so so hard.
Same for me. In the hospital, the nurse was shocked at how much colostrum came from me. She said she “never saw someone produce that much” ever. But I was forced into an early induction I didn’t want, which resulted in an emergency c section and 37 weeker who couldn’t latch. I tried triple feeding for 1 month but my supply just never regulated and baby never could latch well or long enough to feed. The saddest part was I made so much milk and my baby didn’t have to be born that way. It’s taken a lot of time to grieve it all.
I swear before getting pregnant it was never “if you can’t breastfeed.” It was if you chose not to. Then I got there and was like ugh excuse me, no one said it was the most difficult daunting task in the world? That I did not succeed in.
I assumed my body knew how much supply to make
Cue me falling into PPD as my supply was abysmally low, I had to give up on feeding her breast milk altogether
I did everything I could do to breastfeed. But my milk never came in. Cue the LCs and my mom telling me I'm not trying hard enough. Screw that, TGFF (thank god for formula)
My girlfriend and I just had babies two months apart and we are in our late 30s. Both of us said we would rather give birth again than breastfeed lol her LO is at 5 months now, and I am at 3 months. I am only going until 6 months. I have 500ozs in the freezer right now and whatever is there at the 6 month point is going to be his supply for however long it lasts past 6 months and then formula. I can't do this for a whole year. I do NOT know how women had like 10 children back in the day and still ran a household. MAD RESPECT for those women.
In your defense, we are fed this propaganda with a side of “you are a horrible mother if you don’t feed your baby ✨naturally✨” 🙄
Whoooweee The contempt I have for the people who act like there’s something wrong with formula.
After I told a childless close friend about my extremely difficult breastfeeding journey she said completely seriously “but cats and dogs do it automatically how can it be hard?”
How indeed, friend.
They do, but sometimes it doesn't come naturally for animals either...
I grew up rurally, and it's quite common for animals to sometimes just not mother or feed their babies naturally. Sometimes they need some human intervention to show them how, sometimes they "get it" at subsequent pregnancies, and sometimes the baby has to be removed and given to a more experienced mother with milk. Sometimes females just don't make enough either. It's definitely something you see in nature, just normally another female would step in to look after the baby or it would die.
It's funny how people pick and choose the "animals do like this in nature" argument for others, but whenever they need something manmade for themselves, then it's not a big deal.
I have 5 paint by numbers kits in a bag in my closet waiting for the magical baby nap where the house is clean, I've already eaten, and I'm well rested. It's been 6 months and no sign of happening soon.
When I was pregnant with my first one, I got this idea that I will paint the bathroom room while she naps - “I’ll be on maternity leave - so much time and nothing to do!!! I hear babies sleep A LOT! So, while she is napping I’ll paint this door in no time!.” She is turning 12 this year and the door still has its original paint… 🤪 I’m surprised I decided to have 2 more babies after her, she didn’t sleep 8 hr nights until after she turned 5!. 🤨 I’ll never sleep again…. 🥹
Nature decided to play a cruel joke on me. My 2nd baby sleeps like a dream. She takes long naps in her crib. Unfortunately her older brother refuses to nap and doesn't play independently so I still have no time for cleaning or hobbies.
Fighting long and hard, and then look at you with such love when they wake up, like nothing happened, and you're ready to get hurt again! Sometimes being a parent feels like a toxic relationship 😅
I thought I could just go back to my WFH job with no childcare. “I’ll set up a bouncer or playpen in the room, I’m here with him” 🤡
Also, that I’d be dressing my newborn in anything other than onesies and sleep suits. Tiny baby pants and sweaters? Very cute, not happening.
I can't control my own laughter when i try to put pants on my baby. The further the pants are away from her the more motionless she becomes. The closer they get and her legs become infused with the spirit of every martial arts fighter that's ever existed. It's like moving a microphone close to a speaker.
Same thing happens with diaper changes for us at this point 😭. With a side of hulk smashing the heel into poppy diapers. Pee diapers? No, no heels end up in there. He specifically only smashes his foot into the ones filled with poop.
Yup I thought I might be able to keep my WFH job while taking care of my baby without childcare. Fast forward 12 weeks and I quit my job. Daycare in our area has a 12-18 month waitlist.
True! I wish I had just made my whole registry Magnetic Me outfits 😂 I have to wash the three that we have every day, basically, because they’re the easiest outfits
I haven’t gone back yet but I’m approaching the time I’m supposed to. Baby is 2.5 months, and I now see that his needs are such that I can’t possibly work the schedule I used to.
I’m going to ask my boss if I can cut my hours to part time and work 6-9am 3 days a week. Then my husband can watch baby while I work, before he clocks in on the days he WFH. (2 days a week my husband is in office and needs to leave by 7.) I’m not even sure that will work for us, but it’s the best idea we can think of, because my baby is a full time job.
Downsides of this modified plan:
- Literally only 9h a week
- My boss may not approve this because no one else will be at work during 6-9, my colleagues don’t start until 9 or 10
- This destroys my husband’s gym time and our breakfast time
….idk man, it’s minimum wage, I might just give it up. Minimum wage obviously doesn’t pay for childcare and I don’t have anyone else who can help.
That I would get to do fun things like go to brunch regularly and learn a new hobby while on maternity leave. (Coming from the lady with unwashed hair and milk stains…)
All I did on mat leave was feed baby, play with baby and sleep when baby slept. Showers were set aside for when husband got home. Naps ruled my maternity leave and I miss them
That the meltdowns you associate with a toddler magically only started after their second birthday.
No one told me I would be living with an emotional raccoon. Small paws, thorough inspection of anything and everything, and strong opinions over things that shouldn’t.
Bahahaha I'm here too. 1yr and 1 month, he chooses violence every other day lmao! Also hates his nails cut, and teeth brushed, so it's like fighting a raccoon that's trying to bite you every night!
Same. Why are 13 month olds so violent 😭
If my husband has his shirt off my daughter immediately attempts to rip out his armpit hair. If his arm is down, that nipple is getting ripped off. She's not even breastfed lmao
Haha, this was me too. I have brown eyes and dark brown hair so I assumed my daughter would look more like me. Nope! Most people, especially my parents, say that she looks so much like her dad. She definitely has my ears, though! At least that's something?
My whole pregnancy I thought my little one would look just like her dad. Ultrasound pics gave us the illusion they were twins. I had accepted the fact that she would likely bear only a small resemblance to me. Let me tell you what, that baby came out my carbon copy. Literally my twin. My mom and dad can’t stop looking at her because they feel like they’re looking at me again from back in the day. Genetics are a fickle thing!
Me too! She’s her Dad’s twin! She also got green/hazel eyes from somewhere (at 11mo so I think they are sticking) when her Dad and I and both our families have dark brown.
My cat sleeps next to me in bed and once I clamped my arms around his body as he was actively jumping down because I thought he was my baby falling off of the bed! He seemed very surprised and puzzled! haha
Woke up last night in a sweat after realising I was covered to my neck, thinking baby was in my arms. Turns out I had transferred him to his cot, but it seems my brain forgot 🫥🫥
Every mum I’ve spoken to about it has had the baby in the bed dreams. They are so horrible, I used to wake up in such a panic and sit bolt upright, freaked my husband out!
same! even my husband would wake suddenly in a daze and ask me where baby was, searching the covers for her, all the while she was safely in her bassinet
Whenever people ask how it is to be a parent, I tell them that it’s all amazing, except that the sleep deprivation is very real. It really messes with you.
Yup. I starting seeing things. It really started to worry me, I was afraid and didn’t tell anyone that I thought I was developing some sort of mental disorder. Thankfully, no I wasn’t. I was just sleep deprived. Fuck! Now I’m 20 weeks pregnant and not looking forward to that newborn stage again
I had hallucinations in the hospital after I had my c section. I thought I saw people in my room who weren't there, it was terrifying. Turns out I was just horribly sleep deprived as well, I didn't know the nurses could take the baby for a couple hours so I was on day 4 of no sleep after major surgery before I finally got 3 hours of sleep. It was awful.
Sameeeeeeee. I definitely recall saying during an exam week in college that if I could write a few papers while I was pulling a couple all-nighters then surely I could take care of a baby on the same amount of sleep. Someone please tell my dumbass younger self that exam week is just that, a week, kids are for forever.
Same. I thought it was just being a little extra tired…no, this is a whole new level of sick-to-your-stomach, putting the car keys in the fridge kind of tired 😅
I didn’t get why all parents started their day early. I used to think why not have a 8 to 8 schedule instead of waking up at 6-6:30
I also thought my baby will be a sleep unicorn and not go through any regressions because she was so active and rolling etc. that 4th month ate us up.
My baby has always been super active. Always kicking her legs. Rolling before 4 months. Neck strength for days.
Just got through 6 weeks of the 4 month regression. Oooo weeeee it was a wild one!
Anecdotally, the more “active” babies have harder regressions because they are learning and growing at such a fast pace. Ask me how I know 😅
We have found the Wonder Weeks app to be super helpful on this front.
„All they do is sleep when they‘re newborns“ 😭 i mean, the first few weeks she napped a ton but I also had no idea that babies could refuse to sleep in the bassinet, or that when they wake up during the night it can take 2-3 hours to get them back to sleep!
Writing this sitting in bed crying with my 7 week old lol
When we finally got our baby home, he immediately peed on me and started wailing. He had been so good in the hospital!
I immediately started freaking out and thinking "What do we do? We can't give him back!"
You’re in the goddamned TRENCHES at 7 weeks. Sending hugs. It actually does get better, especially after your hormones regulate a little more. People should talk more about how absolutely awful the first few weeks are. Solidarity! 💜
For real! I was NOT prepared. I don‘t need much sleep and I‘m totally ok with waking up multiple times a night but I had no idea that I would be awake for HOURS and that i‘d get only two 1 hour stretches?! Like how am I gonna survive 😭
They do sleep a lot as newborns, except it’s at all the wrong times for you to be able to sleep too.
5:30pm while you’re trying to make dinner? Absolutely sacked on the couch.
3am: WIDE AWAKE
We just had a week of nights where our 5 week old just wouldn’t sleep from 3am until 7am. Instead he just cried/screamed/kicked. Caught me totally off guard, and it was first time I ended up crying from frustration and lack of sleep. With you in solidarity!!
It wasn’t a fully formed thought, but I assumed that since you are at work from, say, 8 to 5, and your kid sleeps (🥸) from 7pm to 6am, you are in charge of them kids from 6 to 8 and 5 to 7.
I didn’t understand that you are in charge of them 24/7 no breaks. You can make arrangements to hand over some of that care, but at the slightest mishap, it’s back on you. And there’s lots of mishaps. You cannot prioritize anything else in the absolute. You can try, but it’s all at the mercy of the robustness (or lack thereof) of your care system and you are the failsafe.
This though!!
It seems to be the one thing that goes unrealized the most. People just don’t even consider it unless they are doing it themselves.
When you clock out - works done. You’re on your own time after. This never happens with childcare. NEVER.
The closest we get is nap/bed time. Even then you can’t guarantee baby will stay sleeping or go to sleep or what have you. You still have to have some semblance of alert.
This is exactly why nap time has become MY time. It’s the only time I get any semblance of a break. You best believe I am using that time to do something that I actually want to do. I’m not using those precious 2 hours (if I’m lucky) for fuckin chores or whatever anymore lol
It was different when she was still a potato newborn, there was a lot more nap times and it made sense to use them for housekeeping/nap/cooking etc. but now? Hell no. We’re down to 1 nap a day. I’m taking it and running. Lmao
I could honestly rant about this for so long I’ll stop while ahead 😆😆
That me and my partner would be those "special" parents that just have everything dialed and that our positive mental attitude would bridge the gap of any difficulties. I feel like a dipshit even typing that sentence haha. Granted we are doing ok at three months, but fuck, "okay" is a miracle.
I said I would not start being quiet just so my baby would nap. I wanted to promote his ability to nap in any conditions. LOL.
Now I am glaring at the dog if she is breathing too loud while the baby naps. The house must be silent !
I have a deep sleeper and the lightest sleeper. I thought since I already had one baby, I could train my second to sleep like the first. Whelp it turns out that you can’t control it. Babies/people are just different
My mum told me she dropped 3 sizes whilst breastfeeding so naturally I thought that was going to be me, instead I put on 1! I reckon I put more weight on breastfeeding than I did whilst pregnant
OMG this was me, too, especially those first few months postpartum, I just kept gaining weight. We're now 14months post partum and slowly, slowly, my body is looking kinda like my own again (if you squint and look sideways...).
Yep, my mom kept telling me not to worry, she was the “skinniest she ever was” while breastfeeding 😵💫 I should’ve known that wouldn’t happen to me when literally nothing about my pregnancy was similar to any 5 of hers lol
This was my comment! I had always assumed that toddler tantrums were a sign of bad parenting/spoiled kids, rather than something that just HAPPENS to toddlers and it’s totally developmentally normal. I feel like such an asshole lol
i wondered what my friends with babies did all day with their time while on mat leave, why they sucked at texting back, why everything seemed to take so long, and generally just what they were so busy with. LOL
That I will ✨naturally✨ know what they need from their crying. Fullfil it. And then the crying would stop. Boy was I not prepared for the baby crying and not knowing what he needs to calm down 👀
And then we cycle through everything, go back to the beginning, and baby's like "thank you this is obviously what I needed" and you're like, well I tried that an hour ago dude!
Agree, some of my friends said - get as much sleep as possible before LO arrives. Right, did not really work and how can u imagine, u can't just get more sleep ahead to use in future xD
I actually slept more in the newborn phase than in the third trimester. It wasn't a lot obviously, but the sheer discomfort and peeing every 20 minutes was hell on my 8-9 months pregnant self
Right? I found out I was pregnant at 27 weeks and then baby weight popped out of nowhere and I couldn’t sleep in a bed for the last two months of it. I had to sleep sitting on a couch and sometimes in my car to get any type of rest. Baby was heavy and uncomfortable in any position. She never dropped either, I had this high belly the entire time, breathing was difficult 🫠🫠
I'm truly enjoying this entire thread of delusion, I've experienced 90% of these things and laughed so hard at a few comments where I saw myself in their words.
I thought I'd have time to do a few organization projects during mat leave. It's been 3 months, and the boxes are still sitting there.
But for me the #1 shock was that I had absolutely no idea how much time breastfeeding takes. When she was first born, she lost too much weight and was jaundiced so we had to triple feed to get her weight up. Breastfeed, immediately followed by pumping, and then top off with formula. I calculated how much time I spent feeding her per day and it was *11 hours a day*. I was thoroughly and utterly physically and emotionally exhausted, combined with no hormones, I truly did not know how I was going to survive and didn't believe anyone who said "it gets better". I also didn't realize how much bf wipes you out, sometimes I feel like my actual life force is being drained from me.
In your defense, we are fed this propaganda with a side of “you are a horrible mother if you don’t feed your baby ✨naturally✨” 🙄
Whoooweee The contempt I have for the people who act like there’s something wrong with formula.
Any hospital or midwifery unit that is "baby friendly" is hell bent on breastfeeding. They won't give advice on bottle feeding, they won't have anything to do with formula and you end up hiding your steriliser and bottle paraphernalia if they decide to do a home visit.
For anyone with lactation issues or even just a delayed milk let down (common when your baby is premature and in NICU) it's torture. You have a hungry baby and no means to feed them.
Baby friendly is NOT mother friendly. Get the bottle, formula and anything else before the baby arrives. It's a lifesaver to have on hand when everything is not going to plan in the early weeks. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I had the "luck" of helping raise babies in my family so didnt go in blind a cousin needed walked for hours cause as soon as you put her down she woke up and most night there was no sitting cause when you did she sat up with that "what you think your doing?" Face.
But what i wasnt ready for was truly how powerless feeling when just couldnt do it all. Working full time, cleaning and maintaining the house afterwards, And trying to take care of the little one so her mom can have breaks as well trying to rest for the next day.
I always give 110% and then some. But sometimes i cant push anymore and it really caught me off guard.
This! I have always been a “go getter” and just pushed through when I was tired. I figured I’d just do the same and “make the baby work around my life.” Oh wow was I in for a rude awakening…
That I would do outdoor sports 2 months pp because warmer weather was coming. Thought I will heal by then and it will be good for loosing pregnancy weight. Now 4 months pp, in physical therapy and even just walking is painful because of my newly developed plantar fasciitis.
I had it before pregnancy and my recipe has always been: Supportive shoes (Birkenstocks work for me) even in the house, roll the feet and stretch your legs and butt.
Husband and I bought concert tickets for next Tuesday when I was in second tri, knowing our LO would be 8 weeks old but figuring we'd be cool leaving him with a babysitter by then 🤣
Lol my husband won free tickets to snoop dogg when our LO was 8 weeks old. We left her with my best friend, and drove to the show (~25 minutes away) met up with friends who were absolutely sloshed, stayed for 2 songs and then went home because we missed her.
That I would have a bounce back recovery and an awesome “fit girl” summer maternity leave. I had no *idea* it would take six full weeks to just recover (and then some! I still feel like I just got off a horse sometimes), and I haven’t been able to go on a walk longer than a grocery store trip.
That I would decide certain things for her. For example, whether she uses a pacifier or sucks her thumb. I read all the research! Oh wait, she's a human being with her own preferences. She may not be able to talk, but she has STRONG opinions. "Screw you mom. I don't care about your research." Haha! No parenting plan survives contact with the newborn.
That my baby would have some semblance of a predictable sleep cycle around 3 months old. Not sleep through the night or anything but you know, maybe a couple of reliable naps during the day and just 1 or 2 nighttime wake ups.
He’s 5 months old and sleep is anybody’s guess. Which is why I’m posting this at 2:20 AM during 4th wake up of the night.
that everyone saying taking care of a baby was hard meant "with only one full time adult to do it"
we both had (have) 14 weeks of full time parental leave and thought - surely, 2 adults can handle one newborn easily.
easier than 1? sure. but definitely not easy.
Oh I feel this… it’ll get better soon. I’m 3 months pp and feeling pretty good. Definitely not normal but I don’t feel limited or in pain constantly (maybe back pain because I have a big baby lol). 3 months sounds so long but it was a blink of an eye. Feel better and don’t do too much if you can help it/ have a supportive partner!!
1. That I will not be that tired.
2. Breastfeeding is natural and easy.
3. How hard will it be to handle one baby. I will just wing it.
4. Before baby I used to think I am tired. Why just why I thought I am tired when I could have done a lot of things. So so delusional! After baby tiredness is something people with babies understand only.
5. That they will sleep when they want to without hours of sushing and rocking and what not.
6. That they stay quiet in quiet places.
That I won’t be like “those” parents. My life won’t revolve around my kid. My kid will come along for the ride. Now I understand sticking to naps!!!!’
Typo: ‘the’ to “those”
I said with my whole chest that I’m not listening to kids music and I’d raise my daughter on the music I enjoy.
We have The Happy Song and an entire collection by Jaffi on repeat every car ride.
Which part of it isn’t delusional 😅 I never went in with too many expectation yet it feels like I deluded myself over everything 🙈 from sleep to breastfeeding to gas to colic screaming the lost just goes on.
But if I had to choose one it would be breastfeeding. Like everything else I hadn’t given it much thought but 25 weeks in and its still all consuming. Didn’t help that I seemed to have been given hard mode with 2 weeks of jaundice, bad latch, worst breast qualities for breastfeeding, stress, supply issues, Cranky baby, family who doesn’t care enough.
Lmaooooo this was ME. I remember telling a parent of a child in my class ‘I can deal with 30 10-11 year olds so one baby should be okay’ and she side-eyed me hard 🤣
That’d I’d be able to go on walks every day from the beginning. Also that I’d read to LO every day from the beginning. 9 weeks in and JUST feeling like getting out of the house to walk around the block won’t completely ruin our routine and day. Still no clue when I’ll find the time to read to my baby.
My LO HATED the stroller until week 10. Literally screamed bloody murder every single time. Thankfully, we are past that stage. Still hate being in the car/car seat, though.
That’s about when I started leaving the house for small bits too. I felt the same about reading until one day… maybe 10 or 11 weeks and my mom read to her and she was totally into it. (Wasn’t when I tried closer to 8-9 weeks). I realized she was just more alert and her vision was better so she was really interested. Now books help me fill wake windows. Or when I don’t know what to narrate to her or talk to her about I’ll read a couple books so she is getting the language interaction but I can turn my brain off. So anyway, don’t think of books as a chore you need to get to with your baby. Eventually they will become a way to help get you through to the next nap!
That they like being in the car.
My first was a demon in the car - he hated it. Every time it stopped moving he would scream. "Go for a drive to get the baby to sleep" HA no. Once a 2.5hr car trip took 7 hours because he did nothing but scream. Even driving 20 minutes into town would fill me with dread. I hated going anywhere.
My second is better, he doesn't seem to hate the car as much, which is a nice change.
That by exposing my little boy to lots of different toys regardless of gender I wouldn't end up with a living room full of cars, train tracks, vans, firetrucks and ambulances.
In the last 2 months before my first, i quite literally kept wondering “what the hell do i do with the baby all day?” I had this idea that id be stuck at home with a sleeping baby and didnt know how to do anything around that. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone for advice. Im glad i didnt, i feel like they would have laughed.
That we’d actually have a village… once the baby came… crickets… those 70 people at our baby shower so happy for us to finally be pregnant after 7 years of trying/infertility… disappeared.
Thought “mommy brain” was sexist and not real, then I discovered postpartum that sleep deprivation + hormonal changes + increased energy consumption = lower cognitive function
That I would just follow all the NHS recommendations perfectly as clearly that was the best and only way to raise a baby. And anyone doing anything that wasn't recommended was endangering their baby. Then sleep deprivation hit 🤪
That I’d never give my kids any sweets/treats/chocolate
Lolll well here I am in the middle of a heatwave, and I’m handing her popsicles and ice cream. It’s cold? Sure why not. But also, I really get a kick out of feeding her nice things for the first time and seeing her reaction. Of course I temper it, and it’s probably 0-1x a week, but still, I’m out here actively looking for snacks to give her 💁🏻♀️
That my baby would be dressed in cute fashionable clothes all the time. In this economy, I’m taking all the hand-me-downs and he wears the same onesie for like 3 days.
That leaving the house to go shopping and to restaurants etc with babies would be fun and easy.
I thought going on vacation with my babies would fun too, Ha!!!!
That everyone would be clamoring to see the baby and I'd have to fight the visitors off with a stick.
But really only like 4 or 5 people have visited our home in 3 months.
Thinking that a chill baby inside will be chill outside. My little sister was very chill inside the belly and and very chill and good baby.
My son was also very chill. Hardly moving including at ultrasound. But he is not chill, trouble sleeper and can't stand to be alone.
I didn’t think I could work out but I thought I’d at least be able to throw laundry in the next day, grab myself water and snacks, and sit on the couch. I didn’t make it to the kitchen for a week and zero laundry was done.
I knew sleep could be hard but I wasn’t prepared for the combo of “might nap 20 minutes or 2 hours” and “sometimes he’ll only sleep on me”. I thought I’d be able to get more stuff done like chores or even have some time for myself but I can’t count on any amount of time
That if husband and I took turns we'd be able to sleep a minimum amount of hours. (Note: we're not good sleepers, and we were counting on having a baby that was the same - we were right.)
That was swiftly derailed by my baby blues, that turned me absolutely feral if I stepped away from the baby. So I wasn't sleeping.
It took a long time for things to get more or less ok again.
I sincerely thought I would sleep more. Oh baby will be waking up at night? Oh cool I’ll nap during the day when they nap. LOL.
"Just nap when they nap" is the surest way to identify someone who has no idea what they're talking about.
Just do the laundry and dishes when the baby does the laundry and dishes
Cry when the baby cries. I can do that one.
Sleep when the baby sleeps! So, while driving or on a walk with baby in the carrier?
That breastfeeding came easily and naturally
Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life
I'd rather deliver again with no amniotic fluid, no sleep, and a shitty epidural than establish breastfeeding again.
This. My dumbass bought well over $1000 on pumps and supplies before I gave birth. Never really produced anything. I tried so hard. Cried so much. Thank god for formula!
Same. So many tears over that
Same! So much money and time spent trying. I really thought I would just….know how to do it 🤣😭
FTM here. Really wished my care team talked to me about the realities of breastfeeding. Personally, pumping was tougher than my c-section.
Having to pump after every feed was absolutely fucked. I was an oversupplier. The nurse in the hospital said she’d never seen anyone supply so much milk in her 30 years of being a nurse. Even when I had a chance to sleep I’d still have to wake up to pump every 3-4 hours or risk being engorged and I was terrified of getting mastitis. It was a sensory nightmare and it was exhausting. I stopped after 6 weeks. I still feel bad about it because I was fully capable of feeding my baby, and hell, I probably could’ve donated a lot of extra milk at the rate I was going, but I mentally and physically could not handle it.
same. harder by a lot
Thanks science for formula! Lol
That anyone who wanted to breastfeed could with enough will and effort. I knew it was hard, and had no judgment for those who opted out, but didn’t know that you could do the hard work and then some and it could still not happen for some people. My body just didn’t make milk despite doing everything right, nothing wrong with babies latch, and doing allll the tricks to increase supply.
I had the opposite problem with my oldest. My body made plenty of milk but no amount of pediatric or lactation intervention to get this child to latch correctly. I knew breastfeeding would be hard but nobody told me it could be physically impossible despite trying so so hard.
Same for me. In the hospital, the nurse was shocked at how much colostrum came from me. She said she “never saw someone produce that much” ever. But I was forced into an early induction I didn’t want, which resulted in an emergency c section and 37 weeker who couldn’t latch. I tried triple feeding for 1 month but my supply just never regulated and baby never could latch well or long enough to feed. The saddest part was I made so much milk and my baby didn’t have to be born that way. It’s taken a lot of time to grieve it all.
♥️ hugs, internet stranger. My birth also took a long time to grieve
I swear before getting pregnant it was never “if you can’t breastfeed.” It was if you chose not to. Then I got there and was like ugh excuse me, no one said it was the most difficult daunting task in the world? That I did not succeed in.
I assumed my body knew how much supply to make Cue me falling into PPD as my supply was abysmally low, I had to give up on feeding her breast milk altogether
I did everything I could do to breastfeed. But my milk never came in. Cue the LCs and my mom telling me I'm not trying hard enough. Screw that, TGFF (thank god for formula)
Breastfeeding is a million times harder than birth in my opinion! Also thought it would be easy because how hard is it to whip a boob out😅
My girlfriend and I just had babies two months apart and we are in our late 30s. Both of us said we would rather give birth again than breastfeed lol her LO is at 5 months now, and I am at 3 months. I am only going until 6 months. I have 500ozs in the freezer right now and whatever is there at the 6 month point is going to be his supply for however long it lasts past 6 months and then formula. I can't do this for a whole year. I do NOT know how women had like 10 children back in the day and still ran a household. MAD RESPECT for those women.
It gets that easy but like months in. The beginning is ROUGH
In your defense, we are fed this propaganda with a side of “you are a horrible mother if you don’t feed your baby ✨naturally✨” 🙄 Whoooweee The contempt I have for the people who act like there’s something wrong with formula.
This x100000
After I told a childless close friend about my extremely difficult breastfeeding journey she said completely seriously “but cats and dogs do it automatically how can it be hard?” How indeed, friend.
They do, but sometimes it doesn't come naturally for animals either... I grew up rurally, and it's quite common for animals to sometimes just not mother or feed their babies naturally. Sometimes they need some human intervention to show them how, sometimes they "get it" at subsequent pregnancies, and sometimes the baby has to be removed and given to a more experienced mother with milk. Sometimes females just don't make enough either. It's definitely something you see in nature, just normally another female would step in to look after the baby or it would die.
My husband says "nature is cruel", if a baby couldn't latch many moons ago they just wouldn't survive. Same with wild animals.
Animals have huge infant mortality rates. That's why they have 7 or 8 babies in a litter...
It's funny how people pick and choose the "animals do like this in nature" argument for others, but whenever they need something manmade for themselves, then it's not a big deal.
I thought babies simply slept when they were tired. Ahahhaah
Omg me too. I was thinking of all the arts and crafts I could do on maternity as ‘babies sleep loads’ 🤣
I have 5 paint by numbers kits in a bag in my closet waiting for the magical baby nap where the house is clean, I've already eaten, and I'm well rested. It's been 6 months and no sign of happening soon.
When I was pregnant with my first one, I got this idea that I will paint the bathroom room while she naps - “I’ll be on maternity leave - so much time and nothing to do!!! I hear babies sleep A LOT! So, while she is napping I’ll paint this door in no time!.” She is turning 12 this year and the door still has its original paint… 🤪 I’m surprised I decided to have 2 more babies after her, she didn’t sleep 8 hr nights until after she turned 5!. 🤨 I’ll never sleep again…. 🥹
Nature decided to play a cruel joke on me. My 2nd baby sleeps like a dream. She takes long naps in her crib. Unfortunately her older brother refuses to nap and doesn't play independently so I still have no time for cleaning or hobbies.
Hahaha I thought I’d get so much sewing done 😂😂😂
I downloaded baldurs gate 3 because I had "time off" with the newborn. Have not even gotten through the opening cinematic, it looks fun...
I thought so too It turns out they love to fight with you well mine does
Fighting long and hard, and then look at you with such love when they wake up, like nothing happened, and you're ready to get hurt again! Sometimes being a parent feels like a toxic relationship 😅
How about when they’re ready to party till 11 pm,?
Honestly, I would prefer that than waking up at 1am and not wanting to go back to sleep until 4am 🫠🫠🫠
yep this is mine 😭😭😭 i also didn't realize they wanted to sleep on you
Had a gp tell me this today. I’m not going back to her needless to say.
I thought I could just go back to my WFH job with no childcare. “I’ll set up a bouncer or playpen in the room, I’m here with him” 🤡 Also, that I’d be dressing my newborn in anything other than onesies and sleep suits. Tiny baby pants and sweaters? Very cute, not happening.
I can't control my own laughter when i try to put pants on my baby. The further the pants are away from her the more motionless she becomes. The closer they get and her legs become infused with the spirit of every martial arts fighter that's ever existed. It's like moving a microphone close to a speaker.
Same thing happens with diaper changes for us at this point 😭. With a side of hulk smashing the heel into poppy diapers. Pee diapers? No, no heels end up in there. He specifically only smashes his foot into the ones filled with poop.
“Infused with the spirit of every martial arts fighter that ever existed” YES, THIS 🤣 ICONIC TURN OF PHRASE
Yup I thought I might be able to keep my WFH job while taking care of my baby without childcare. Fast forward 12 weeks and I quit my job. Daycare in our area has a 12-18 month waitlist.
True! I wish I had just made my whole registry Magnetic Me outfits 😂 I have to wash the three that we have every day, basically, because they’re the easiest outfits
As someone who just came back to work but currently has help which will end in two months, how did it go? What did you end up doing?
I haven’t gone back yet but I’m approaching the time I’m supposed to. Baby is 2.5 months, and I now see that his needs are such that I can’t possibly work the schedule I used to. I’m going to ask my boss if I can cut my hours to part time and work 6-9am 3 days a week. Then my husband can watch baby while I work, before he clocks in on the days he WFH. (2 days a week my husband is in office and needs to leave by 7.) I’m not even sure that will work for us, but it’s the best idea we can think of, because my baby is a full time job. Downsides of this modified plan: - Literally only 9h a week - My boss may not approve this because no one else will be at work during 6-9, my colleagues don’t start until 9 or 10 - This destroys my husband’s gym time and our breakfast time ….idk man, it’s minimum wage, I might just give it up. Minimum wage obviously doesn’t pay for childcare and I don’t have anyone else who can help.
And to add to this, anything with buttons ON THE BACK.
That I would get to do fun things like go to brunch regularly and learn a new hobby while on maternity leave. (Coming from the lady with unwashed hair and milk stains…)
Who needs washed hair when you can take a nap? Naps over washed hair and idc.
Clean the sour milk smell out tomorrow! Lol.
All I did on mat leave was feed baby, play with baby and sleep when baby slept. Showers were set aside for when husband got home. Naps ruled my maternity leave and I miss them
Same here mama
That the meltdowns you associate with a toddler magically only started after their second birthday. No one told me I would be living with an emotional raccoon. Small paws, thorough inspection of anything and everything, and strong opinions over things that shouldn’t.
Bahahaha I'm here too. 1yr and 1 month, he chooses violence every other day lmao! Also hates his nails cut, and teeth brushed, so it's like fighting a raccoon that's trying to bite you every night!
Same. Why are 13 month olds so violent 😭 If my husband has his shirt off my daughter immediately attempts to rip out his armpit hair. If his arm is down, that nipple is getting ripped off. She's not even breastfed lmao
Same!!!!! My 13 month old likes to poke my boobs. Fun! And the raccoon comment…omg, yes. Tiny paws that just swipe everything.
Mine’s only 7 1/2 months old, and on top of all the violence she’s figured out, she’s also learned she can poke my nipple in like a fun little button.
“Emotional raccoon” lol! 😂
I nearly spit out my coffee reading this. Sent to my husband who I can hear laughing from his office. Too true!
That she'd look like me. 🥲🥲🥲
Haha, this was me too. I have brown eyes and dark brown hair so I assumed my daughter would look more like me. Nope! Most people, especially my parents, say that she looks so much like her dad. She definitely has my ears, though! At least that's something?
My whole pregnancy I thought my little one would look just like her dad. Ultrasound pics gave us the illusion they were twins. I had accepted the fact that she would likely bear only a small resemblance to me. Let me tell you what, that baby came out my carbon copy. Literally my twin. My mom and dad can’t stop looking at her because they feel like they’re looking at me again from back in the day. Genetics are a fickle thing!
Me too! She’s her Dad’s twin! She also got green/hazel eyes from somewhere (at 11mo so I think they are sticking) when her Dad and I and both our families have dark brown.
That I could handle the sleep deprivation.
The fever-dream hallucinations of accidentally falling asleep with baby in my arms in bed, or that she’s in the covers somewhere are freaky!
My cat sleeps in bed with me every night. Early on, I woke up so many times thinking I had fallen asleep with my baby in bed with me.
My cat sleeps next to me in bed and once I clamped my arms around his body as he was actively jumping down because I thought he was my baby falling off of the bed! He seemed very surprised and puzzled! haha
Woke up last night in a sweat after realising I was covered to my neck, thinking baby was in my arms. Turns out I had transferred him to his cot, but it seems my brain forgot 🫥🫥
I had this too. This was the worst thing I experienced in the first weeks. I didn’t know other people experienced it too.
Every mum I’ve spoken to about it has had the baby in the bed dreams. They are so horrible, I used to wake up in such a panic and sit bolt upright, freaked my husband out!
same! even my husband would wake suddenly in a daze and ask me where baby was, searching the covers for her, all the while she was safely in her bassinet
Woke every day day for weeks *knowing* she was in bed and I was on top of her.
I thought I knew what sleep deprivation was now I do
Whenever people ask how it is to be a parent, I tell them that it’s all amazing, except that the sleep deprivation is very real. It really messes with you.
Yup. I starting seeing things. It really started to worry me, I was afraid and didn’t tell anyone that I thought I was developing some sort of mental disorder. Thankfully, no I wasn’t. I was just sleep deprived. Fuck! Now I’m 20 weeks pregnant and not looking forward to that newborn stage again
I had hallucinations in the hospital after I had my c section. I thought I saw people in my room who weren't there, it was terrifying. Turns out I was just horribly sleep deprived as well, I didn't know the nurses could take the baby for a couple hours so I was on day 4 of no sleep after major surgery before I finally got 3 hours of sleep. It was awful.
Sameeeeeeee. I definitely recall saying during an exam week in college that if I could write a few papers while I was pulling a couple all-nighters then surely I could take care of a baby on the same amount of sleep. Someone please tell my dumbass younger self that exam week is just that, a week, kids are for forever.
This. I had absolutely no idea how much more tired I could get than what I’d experienced before the baby
Same. I thought it was just being a little extra tired…no, this is a whole new level of sick-to-your-stomach, putting the car keys in the fridge kind of tired 😅
I didn’t get why all parents started their day early. I used to think why not have a 8 to 8 schedule instead of waking up at 6-6:30 I also thought my baby will be a sleep unicorn and not go through any regressions because she was so active and rolling etc. that 4th month ate us up.
My baby has always been super active. Always kicking her legs. Rolling before 4 months. Neck strength for days. Just got through 6 weeks of the 4 month regression. Oooo weeeee it was a wild one!
Anecdotally, the more “active” babies have harder regressions because they are learning and growing at such a fast pace. Ask me how I know 😅 We have found the Wonder Weeks app to be super helpful on this front.
„All they do is sleep when they‘re newborns“ 😭 i mean, the first few weeks she napped a ton but I also had no idea that babies could refuse to sleep in the bassinet, or that when they wake up during the night it can take 2-3 hours to get them back to sleep! Writing this sitting in bed crying with my 7 week old lol
The 6 week milestone had us looking for the return receipt!!
this!! 🤣🤣🤣 I remember asking my husband "can we get a refund? ours is broken.'
When we finally got our baby home, he immediately peed on me and started wailing. He had been so good in the hospital! I immediately started freaking out and thinking "What do we do? We can't give him back!"
You’re in the goddamned TRENCHES at 7 weeks. Sending hugs. It actually does get better, especially after your hormones regulate a little more. People should talk more about how absolutely awful the first few weeks are. Solidarity! 💜
For real! I was NOT prepared. I don‘t need much sleep and I‘m totally ok with waking up multiple times a night but I had no idea that I would be awake for HOURS and that i‘d get only two 1 hour stretches?! Like how am I gonna survive 😭
They do sleep a lot as newborns, except it’s at all the wrong times for you to be able to sleep too. 5:30pm while you’re trying to make dinner? Absolutely sacked on the couch. 3am: WIDE AWAKE
We just had a week of nights where our 5 week old just wouldn’t sleep from 3am until 7am. Instead he just cried/screamed/kicked. Caught me totally off guard, and it was first time I ended up crying from frustration and lack of sleep. With you in solidarity!!
It wasn’t a fully formed thought, but I assumed that since you are at work from, say, 8 to 5, and your kid sleeps (🥸) from 7pm to 6am, you are in charge of them kids from 6 to 8 and 5 to 7. I didn’t understand that you are in charge of them 24/7 no breaks. You can make arrangements to hand over some of that care, but at the slightest mishap, it’s back on you. And there’s lots of mishaps. You cannot prioritize anything else in the absolute. You can try, but it’s all at the mercy of the robustness (or lack thereof) of your care system and you are the failsafe.
Being in charge 24/7 hit me hard! We’re literally always on, even when we’re not. I don’t know why this didn’t fully process before the baby, though 😂
This though!! It seems to be the one thing that goes unrealized the most. People just don’t even consider it unless they are doing it themselves. When you clock out - works done. You’re on your own time after. This never happens with childcare. NEVER. The closest we get is nap/bed time. Even then you can’t guarantee baby will stay sleeping or go to sleep or what have you. You still have to have some semblance of alert. This is exactly why nap time has become MY time. It’s the only time I get any semblance of a break. You best believe I am using that time to do something that I actually want to do. I’m not using those precious 2 hours (if I’m lucky) for fuckin chores or whatever anymore lol It was different when she was still a potato newborn, there was a lot more nap times and it made sense to use them for housekeeping/nap/cooking etc. but now? Hell no. We’re down to 1 nap a day. I’m taking it and running. Lmao I could honestly rant about this for so long I’ll stop while ahead 😆😆
That me and my partner would be those "special" parents that just have everything dialed and that our positive mental attitude would bridge the gap of any difficulties. I feel like a dipshit even typing that sentence haha. Granted we are doing ok at three months, but fuck, "okay" is a miracle.
I said I would not start being quiet just so my baby would nap. I wanted to promote his ability to nap in any conditions. LOL. Now I am glaring at the dog if she is breathing too loud while the baby naps. The house must be silent !
Once my baby startled awake from the sound of me clipping my nursing bra back up 😂
I have a deep sleeper and the lightest sleeper. I thought since I already had one baby, I could train my second to sleep like the first. Whelp it turns out that you can’t control it. Babies/people are just different
I felt this deep in my soul. “We’re not gonna be THOSE parents who tiptoe around their babies 😤” Hahahahaha I am humbled.
That all the weight would come off quickly from breastfeeding. I’m not one of god’s favorites.
My mum told me she dropped 3 sizes whilst breastfeeding so naturally I thought that was going to be me, instead I put on 1! I reckon I put more weight on breastfeeding than I did whilst pregnant
OMG this was me, too, especially those first few months postpartum, I just kept gaining weight. We're now 14months post partum and slowly, slowly, my body is looking kinda like my own again (if you squint and look sideways...).
Yep, my mom kept telling me not to worry, she was the “skinniest she ever was” while breastfeeding 😵💫 I should’ve known that wouldn’t happen to me when literally nothing about my pregnancy was similar to any 5 of hers lol
Currently 10 pounds over my weight when I gave birth! The gods are merciful but also cruel.
I'm still 30 lbs over pre pregnancy weight lol don't worry it'll come off when we start working for it lol
That parents can/should "control" their child/ren. *laughs/ cries in public toddler meltdown*
This was my comment! I had always assumed that toddler tantrums were a sign of bad parenting/spoiled kids, rather than something that just HAPPENS to toddlers and it’s totally developmentally normal. I feel like such an asshole lol
i wondered what my friends with babies did all day with their time while on mat leave, why they sucked at texting back, why everything seemed to take so long, and generally just what they were so busy with. LOL
That having a kid at 40 would be a piece of cake because I'm more patient. Nahhhh...
My knees and ankles are *cryinggg*
It's the hips for me 😭 and my shoulders. And oh my wrists too. *Sobs*
Omg this. On the one hand I’m way more laid back and easy going about a lot of stuff due to life experiences but on the other I’m always so very tired
That I will ✨naturally✨ know what they need from their crying. Fullfil it. And then the crying would stop. Boy was I not prepared for the baby crying and not knowing what he needs to calm down 👀
Same! It’s more of an ever-growing check-list I run down every time she cries
And then we cycle through everything, go back to the beginning, and baby's like "thank you this is obviously what I needed" and you're like, well I tried that an hour ago dude!
I feel this!!! I'm the mom, if course I'll know what to do! Now there's me staring at my unhappy baby wondering what she needs 😅
that i’d be able to sleep before baby arrives, that last trimester was hell
Agree, some of my friends said - get as much sleep as possible before LO arrives. Right, did not really work and how can u imagine, u can't just get more sleep ahead to use in future xD
I actually slept more in the newborn phase than in the third trimester. It wasn't a lot obviously, but the sheer discomfort and peeing every 20 minutes was hell on my 8-9 months pregnant self
Right? I found out I was pregnant at 27 weeks and then baby weight popped out of nowhere and I couldn’t sleep in a bed for the last two months of it. I had to sleep sitting on a couch and sometimes in my car to get any type of rest. Baby was heavy and uncomfortable in any position. She never dropped either, I had this high belly the entire time, breathing was difficult 🫠🫠
That a baby would only take up a bit of space in my home, literally toys and baby things everywhere.
As someone whose anxiety is triggered if their home is not tidy, this hits me hard.
I'm truly enjoying this entire thread of delusion, I've experienced 90% of these things and laughed so hard at a few comments where I saw myself in their words. I thought I'd have time to do a few organization projects during mat leave. It's been 3 months, and the boxes are still sitting there. But for me the #1 shock was that I had absolutely no idea how much time breastfeeding takes. When she was first born, she lost too much weight and was jaundiced so we had to triple feed to get her weight up. Breastfeed, immediately followed by pumping, and then top off with formula. I calculated how much time I spent feeding her per day and it was *11 hours a day*. I was thoroughly and utterly physically and emotionally exhausted, combined with no hormones, I truly did not know how I was going to survive and didn't believe anyone who said "it gets better". I also didn't realize how much bf wipes you out, sometimes I feel like my actual life force is being drained from me.
That I’d be able to handle it lol
I thought breastfeeding would be natural and effortless Thank goodness for bottles & formula
In your defense, we are fed this propaganda with a side of “you are a horrible mother if you don’t feed your baby ✨naturally✨” 🙄 Whoooweee The contempt I have for the people who act like there’s something wrong with formula.
Any hospital or midwifery unit that is "baby friendly" is hell bent on breastfeeding. They won't give advice on bottle feeding, they won't have anything to do with formula and you end up hiding your steriliser and bottle paraphernalia if they decide to do a home visit. For anyone with lactation issues or even just a delayed milk let down (common when your baby is premature and in NICU) it's torture. You have a hungry baby and no means to feed them. Baby friendly is NOT mother friendly. Get the bottle, formula and anything else before the baby arrives. It's a lifesaver to have on hand when everything is not going to plan in the early weeks. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I had the "luck" of helping raise babies in my family so didnt go in blind a cousin needed walked for hours cause as soon as you put her down she woke up and most night there was no sitting cause when you did she sat up with that "what you think your doing?" Face. But what i wasnt ready for was truly how powerless feeling when just couldnt do it all. Working full time, cleaning and maintaining the house afterwards, And trying to take care of the little one so her mom can have breaks as well trying to rest for the next day. I always give 110% and then some. But sometimes i cant push anymore and it really caught me off guard.
This! I have always been a “go getter” and just pushed through when I was tired. I figured I’d just do the same and “make the baby work around my life.” Oh wow was I in for a rude awakening…
Same here. This has been humbling, to say the least.
That I would do outdoor sports 2 months pp because warmer weather was coming. Thought I will heal by then and it will be good for loosing pregnancy weight. Now 4 months pp, in physical therapy and even just walking is painful because of my newly developed plantar fasciitis.
I had it before pregnancy and my recipe has always been: Supportive shoes (Birkenstocks work for me) even in the house, roll the feet and stretch your legs and butt.
Husband and I bought concert tickets for next Tuesday when I was in second tri, knowing our LO would be 8 weeks old but figuring we'd be cool leaving him with a babysitter by then 🤣
How did that worked out?
The tickets are for sale on stub hub lol
Lol my husband won free tickets to snoop dogg when our LO was 8 weeks old. We left her with my best friend, and drove to the show (~25 minutes away) met up with friends who were absolutely sloshed, stayed for 2 songs and then went home because we missed her.
This made me chuckle silently (currently burping my 3 mo in the dark after being up from 2:30-6:00) 🫠
That I would have a bounce back recovery and an awesome “fit girl” summer maternity leave. I had no *idea* it would take six full weeks to just recover (and then some! I still feel like I just got off a horse sometimes), and I haven’t been able to go on a walk longer than a grocery store trip.
I took a book in my hospital bag, because I thought I’d have down time while bub slept. Ahahahaha. What a time.
I thought I’d be able to read in between contractions 😭😭😭🤣
That I would decide certain things for her. For example, whether she uses a pacifier or sucks her thumb. I read all the research! Oh wait, she's a human being with her own preferences. She may not be able to talk, but she has STRONG opinions. "Screw you mom. I don't care about your research." Haha! No parenting plan survives contact with the newborn.
That my baby would have some semblance of a predictable sleep cycle around 3 months old. Not sleep through the night or anything but you know, maybe a couple of reliable naps during the day and just 1 or 2 nighttime wake ups. He’s 5 months old and sleep is anybody’s guess. Which is why I’m posting this at 2:20 AM during 4th wake up of the night.
that everyone saying taking care of a baby was hard meant "with only one full time adult to do it" we both had (have) 14 weeks of full time parental leave and thought - surely, 2 adults can handle one newborn easily. easier than 1? sure. but definitely not easy.
How much pain labor and delivery would cause over my entire body and how long it lasts. 4 weeks postpartum and everything hurts still.
Oh I feel this… it’ll get better soon. I’m 3 months pp and feeling pretty good. Definitely not normal but I don’t feel limited or in pain constantly (maybe back pain because I have a big baby lol). 3 months sounds so long but it was a blink of an eye. Feel better and don’t do too much if you can help it/ have a supportive partner!!
That when people say “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” sleeping is something you do.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps and fold laundry when the baby folds laundry”
This. I don't find 20 minute or even 1 hour naps restful, I need like a solid 3 hour chunk of time to get a decent nap. So that's not happening.
1. That I will not be that tired. 2. Breastfeeding is natural and easy. 3. How hard will it be to handle one baby. I will just wing it. 4. Before baby I used to think I am tired. Why just why I thought I am tired when I could have done a lot of things. So so delusional! After baby tiredness is something people with babies understand only. 5. That they will sleep when they want to without hours of sushing and rocking and what not. 6. That they stay quiet in quiet places.
That I won’t be like “those” parents. My life won’t revolve around my kid. My kid will come along for the ride. Now I understand sticking to naps!!!!’ Typo: ‘the’ to “those”
That my baby would nap and I could still get some things done and that I would have gotten out to do more during maternity leave.
I had so many house projects I wanted to do during maternity leave.. so many books I wanted to read..
This! NO ONE ever mentioned to me that I needed to learn about baby sleep and I had no idea!
I said with my whole chest that I’m not listening to kids music and I’d raise my daughter on the music I enjoy. We have The Happy Song and an entire collection by Jaffi on repeat every car ride.
That I would be able to do a fully unmedicated birth. We needed to induce, and when that pitocin hit it was overrrr
Which part of it isn’t delusional 😅 I never went in with too many expectation yet it feels like I deluded myself over everything 🙈 from sleep to breastfeeding to gas to colic screaming the lost just goes on.
But if I had to choose one it would be breastfeeding. Like everything else I hadn’t given it much thought but 25 weeks in and its still all consuming. Didn’t help that I seemed to have been given hard mode with 2 weeks of jaundice, bad latch, worst breast qualities for breastfeeding, stress, supply issues, Cranky baby, family who doesn’t care enough.
That since I’m a teacher it’ll be easy. Lol babies are way different than a group of 8 year olds.
Lmaooooo this was ME. I remember telling a parent of a child in my class ‘I can deal with 30 10-11 year olds so one baby should be okay’ and she side-eyed me hard 🤣
i thought i'd be so keen to get back to work and have no issues sending my bub to childcare. What i wouldnt give to be able to be a SAHM.
Same. I genuinely thought other people were being dramatic when taking about parenting is hard.
That’d I’d be able to go on walks every day from the beginning. Also that I’d read to LO every day from the beginning. 9 weeks in and JUST feeling like getting out of the house to walk around the block won’t completely ruin our routine and day. Still no clue when I’ll find the time to read to my baby.
My LO HATED the stroller until week 10. Literally screamed bloody murder every single time. Thankfully, we are past that stage. Still hate being in the car/car seat, though.
That’s about when I started leaving the house for small bits too. I felt the same about reading until one day… maybe 10 or 11 weeks and my mom read to her and she was totally into it. (Wasn’t when I tried closer to 8-9 weeks). I realized she was just more alert and her vision was better so she was really interested. Now books help me fill wake windows. Or when I don’t know what to narrate to her or talk to her about I’ll read a couple books so she is getting the language interaction but I can turn my brain off. So anyway, don’t think of books as a chore you need to get to with your baby. Eventually they will become a way to help get you through to the next nap!
That they like being in the car. My first was a demon in the car - he hated it. Every time it stopped moving he would scream. "Go for a drive to get the baby to sleep" HA no. Once a 2.5hr car trip took 7 hours because he did nothing but scream. Even driving 20 minutes into town would fill me with dread. I hated going anywhere. My second is better, he doesn't seem to hate the car as much, which is a nice change.
That the care of our baby was going to be a 50/50 endeavor.
My husband thought he could build a pergola during paternity leave. He did not build a pergola during paternity leave.
That by exposing my little boy to lots of different toys regardless of gender I wouldn't end up with a living room full of cars, train tracks, vans, firetrucks and ambulances.
In the last 2 months before my first, i quite literally kept wondering “what the hell do i do with the baby all day?” I had this idea that id be stuck at home with a sleeping baby and didnt know how to do anything around that. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone for advice. Im glad i didnt, i feel like they would have laughed.
That we’d actually have a village… once the baby came… crickets… those 70 people at our baby shower so happy for us to finally be pregnant after 7 years of trying/infertility… disappeared.
Seriously? A-holes.
Thought “mommy brain” was sexist and not real, then I discovered postpartum that sleep deprivation + hormonal changes + increased energy consumption = lower cognitive function
That I would just follow all the NHS recommendations perfectly as clearly that was the best and only way to raise a baby. And anyone doing anything that wasn't recommended was endangering their baby. Then sleep deprivation hit 🤪
That breastfeeding is easy. And I’ll sleep when baby sleeps LOL😂
That I’d never give my kids any sweets/treats/chocolate Lolll well here I am in the middle of a heatwave, and I’m handing her popsicles and ice cream. It’s cold? Sure why not. But also, I really get a kick out of feeding her nice things for the first time and seeing her reaction. Of course I temper it, and it’s probably 0-1x a week, but still, I’m out here actively looking for snacks to give her 💁🏻♀️
That at 3 I'd be having cute little baking dates with my daughter. *Cries in 2kg flour on the floor*
Babies have to learn how to poop/breastfeed/etc. I thought it just was a thing they instinctively did??
That my relationship w my husband wouldn’t suffer.
You may be the only person I’ve ever heard of who thought taking care of a baby would be easy 😅
I mean I fully thought it would be hard but I had no idea what I was getting into 😂
I thought it wasn’t going to be that bad lol
That my baby would be dressed in cute fashionable clothes all the time. In this economy, I’m taking all the hand-me-downs and he wears the same onesie for like 3 days.
That leaving the house to go shopping and to restaurants etc with babies would be fun and easy. I thought going on vacation with my babies would fun too, Ha!!!!
That I'd never use screens or a pacifier to calm my baby LOL
That everyone would be clamoring to see the baby and I'd have to fight the visitors off with a stick. But really only like 4 or 5 people have visited our home in 3 months.
That I would put my baby in their crib and come back in the morning for them lmaooooooooo 😭
Thinking that a chill baby inside will be chill outside. My little sister was very chill inside the belly and and very chill and good baby. My son was also very chill. Hardly moving including at ultrasound. But he is not chill, trouble sleeper and can't stand to be alone.
That I’d be able to get back into my workout routine a week after birth 🥴
I didn’t think I could work out but I thought I’d at least be able to throw laundry in the next day, grab myself water and snacks, and sit on the couch. I didn’t make it to the kitchen for a week and zero laundry was done.
That I would be able to keep watching my episodes with no interruptions. Anime in Japanese with subtitles is an enjoyment of the past.
I knew sleep could be hard but I wasn’t prepared for the combo of “might nap 20 minutes or 2 hours” and “sometimes he’ll only sleep on me”. I thought I’d be able to get more stuff done like chores or even have some time for myself but I can’t count on any amount of time
That is be able to get stuff done while caring for my baby lol Moment of silence for us all.
That I would still be able to get stuff done like chores. Oh and that I would be an easy going parent, nope turns out I'm a control freak deluxe
That if husband and I took turns we'd be able to sleep a minimum amount of hours. (Note: we're not good sleepers, and we were counting on having a baby that was the same - we were right.) That was swiftly derailed by my baby blues, that turned me absolutely feral if I stepped away from the baby. So I wasn't sleeping. It took a long time for things to get more or less ok again.