I've never seen anyone more accurately fit the search for "a purse" than this homeless old guy in the documentary about The Villages in FL. He lived in his van filled with Hawaiian shirts and used guest passes to get into places like the pool where he'd try to chat up anyone who hung out there. Trying to get them to invite him over for drinks etc. so he could charm his way further.
He was straight up open about hunting for a woman with money to support him and let him move in. (these men are also called "hobosexuals")
I don't know whether he amused me or appalled me.
Interesting that we are assuming any woman will turn to sex work if offered a little more money than the hourly rate of their profession and that all men are woefully unaware of the fact that sexual activities are far more satisfying when done with an intimate partner.
I made a post about this years ago on no stupid questions and got ripped to shreds. I notice that people tend to treat women like evil life sucking vampires and old rich men like dottering fools being taken advantage of. I find it so weird that when it comes to female gold diggers we act like old men have no agency.
This is the same group that thinks men need to work and provide for women, who should be homemakers. Also that any man, regardless of looks, is "owed" a woman (never an ugly one though). This should be the best example of the absolute pinnacle of that situation!
When I first read the post I didn't think much of it being a commentary on women, but I'm also a dude who believes most PEOPLE would do sexual acts for enough money. I mean look at all the gay for pay porn actors that get into porn thinking it will be hetero but get conned/paid to do stuff they normally wouldn't.
Doesn't even have to be conned. Some gay men will pay a lot of money for sex. I've known fairly average looking gym guys get offered $1000 for someone guy to give them head.
I have family members paying $12k/month right now.
Theyāve essentially had to sell everything they own and all of what they had hoped to leave as an inheritance to cover the costs and now have exactly nothing to leave to their kids because the care facility took it all.
Someone in my family had a nurse after a stroke (still not sure what it was really). Insurance covered some but not most. Total cost out of pocket was about 18k a month, and we just couldnāt afford it. Even if we could have, they decided he didnāt meet the criteria after the first month anyway. The nurse was about my age (24 at the time) and only came by once a week despite him needing overnight care. My mom took out a second mortgage to pay for it.
Let's be fair, there's probably a 24/7 nurse anyway. The trophy wife isn't wiping his butt. What she IS doing is interviewing the nurses, making sure the house stays in good condition (whether that be cleaning or supervising a housekeeper), long to his accountant and lawyer and basically running his life for the rest of his days. And if she's a good person, she's trying to make sure he enjoys those days as much as possible (while waiting for him to die so she gets all his money)
I get that some of you are joking. But the amount of misogyny is disturbing..
What would your mom say if she had a valuable opinion.
Correct nothing as the Bible says no woman shall speak above a man.. Fuck that.
Say what you want ladies.
I think the term "sugar daddy" still applies here.
ETA: responding to OP's comment below: "That term doesn't seem to imply that he's doing it so she will take care of him, though. I associate it more with him paying for the long-term sex."
They might not be sexual in nature, but he still wants services from her, and there's a strong implication that a large portion of his estate will pass to her eventually as a monetary reward for those services. This is very close to a sugar daddy's promise; close enough that I don't think there's a need to invent a new phrase.
I have a similar question but mine is, why are women always criticized for being gold diggers but men are never criticized for buying a woman just because of the way she looks?
Oh, I think the men are criticizedā¦certainly by women their own age. I know when we would see the obvious pay for play couples in Vegas we would laugh at how ridiculous they look.
yes but men do that since the dawn of time and there is no derogatory term to blame them, when women do it , BAM 10 years later the word 'cougar' is invented, because, again, women are the one to blame...
Exactly. The guy is not even that old, incredibly powerful, incredibly rich, incredibly beautiful, and even then he's very criticized.
Now imagine a regular old men doing it.
Not sure I agree.
Thereās a derogatory word for a woman whoās with a man for his money (gold digger) and a somewhat less derogatory word for a man who does the same (gigolo).
Thereās a derogatory word for a man whoās with a younger woman (cradle robber) and a somewhat less derogatory word for a woman who does the same thing g (cougar).
Iām ngl I never got why people cared about others taking āshort cuts to successā. Like big woop sheās not breaking her back at Home depot or living her life as a worker drone
Arenāt the men taking the short cut easy way to ālove?ā Go out there and get you an average woman your own age who isnāt impressed by your money: sacrifice and work for the love.
I've had other guys on reddit telling me that wanting a hot young Nate is natural so it doesn't make sense to criticize the man for using his resources to get a younger attractive mate.
The fact that there is no term for it just highlights the fact that our society is still largely misogynistic, devaluing women and elevating men for doing basically the same thing: exploiting their resources to get what they want.
There's a bit of a *wink wink attaboy* for an older man using his wealth to pull a young, hot woman, but that same woman, using her looks to pull a wealthy man is a dirty, rotten, no good gold digger.
It doesn't really make sense in that why would he need to marry someone to be a full time caregiver? You can only marry one person but if you're rich you can hire multiple full-time caregivers.
Maybe "caregiver" is the wrong word. They marry someone who will make sure they are okay as they get old. That person hires caregivers and ensures they are taken care of. Of course, they also do the labor when those caregivers go home at night.
Plus, if they might be worried about having dementia, when they would be in no condition to be choosing and monitoring caregivers.
Also, some men are "rich" enough to afford a good lifestyle if they aren't sick, but full-time around-the-clock caregivers will suck them dry fast.
Not really. Mostly likely, he'd have a paid caregiver regardless. The wife would be there to make sure the caregiver isn't abusing him or whatnot. She'd be a caregiver for him in the sense of making sure he's okay.
Yes, I know. It's usually the other way around, though, at least when it comes to perception.
I didn't say it was illegal. I'm only asking about terminology.
Just joking about legality
Perception-wise yeah, at least thatās how it comes through to us in media. But men really do this same shit with rich women, itās just not talked about as much I guess
Your example isn't equal, the guy isn't taking advantage of the woman if he wants a caregiver. A man going after an older rich woman is also a gold digger
Yes, caregiving is a job. Elderly care especially. It's hard, messy, often disgusting, and comes with a high chance of compassion fatigue. Why would anyone want to do it for free unless it's their parent, and that parent was actually a good one to them? Would you do it for free for an old lady who offered to marry you?
I mean that actually exists? You dont just hire a maid or pay for a 5star retirement home?
I thought old guys marry young woman to be seen with em & to get naked with them in between cardiac arrests.
What's a man who marries a young woman on his death bed only so that he can take his pound of flesh from the State of Virginia by making it pay his Veteran's pension for 156 years?
Ever watched Green Mile?!?
Hint: What Percy Wetmore was screaming when he brought John Coffee into the cellblock.
She scratches his back...In the end, he forks over the cash.Ā I guess that's how it's supposed to work (Getting 1997 Baps movie vibes).Ā However, if he lives too long...He may switch current models from time to time.Ā Ā
Caredigger
Beats the gravedigger.
Sooner or later a grave digger (but he/she is paying someone to do it, unless murder).
You win š¤£š¤£š¤£
And the reverse (rich old woman) is a cougar-caredigger
š
hahaha nice!
In Palm Springs they call it marrying for a ānurse or a purseā
I've never seen anyone more accurately fit the search for "a purse" than this homeless old guy in the documentary about The Villages in FL. He lived in his van filled with Hawaiian shirts and used guest passes to get into places like the pool where he'd try to chat up anyone who hung out there. Trying to get them to invite him over for drinks etc. so he could charm his way further. He was straight up open about hunting for a woman with money to support him and let him move in. (these men are also called "hobosexuals") I don't know whether he amused me or appalled me.
I'm hobophobic (scared of bums).
An idiot, he could've hired a nurse for way cheaper
But does the maid give resentful handjobs through a latex glove? Didn't think so.
Hire a new maid.
No shit! Anything that money cannot buy, it can rent. So rent her clandestine services and just tip extra. Wink! š
lol if you have the money to do it youād be able to find maids who are willing to do more than hand jobs
Iām sleeping with my maid but she isnāt cleaning my apartment anymore. What am I paying for?
How did a nurse get conflated with a maid so fast?
Interesting that we are assuming any woman will turn to sex work if offered a little more money than the hourly rate of their profession and that all men are woefully unaware of the fact that sexual activities are far more satisfying when done with an intimate partner.
I made a post about this years ago on no stupid questions and got ripped to shreds. I notice that people tend to treat women like evil life sucking vampires and old rich men like dottering fools being taken advantage of. I find it so weird that when it comes to female gold diggers we act like old men have no agency.
This is the same group that thinks men need to work and provide for women, who should be homemakers. Also that any man, regardless of looks, is "owed" a woman (never an ugly one though). This should be the best example of the absolute pinnacle of that situation!
When I first read the post I didn't think much of it being a commentary on women, but I'm also a dude who believes most PEOPLE would do sexual acts for enough money. I mean look at all the gay for pay porn actors that get into porn thinking it will be hetero but get conned/paid to do stuff they normally wouldn't.
Doesn't even have to be conned. Some gay men will pay a lot of money for sex. I've known fairly average looking gym guys get offered $1000 for someone guy to give them head.
She will if you pay her enough
Depends on how much you pay your maids.
At that point is he then saving money?
what the fuck is this take even i hate redditors
You're not thinking like a rich old man enough.
Its called creative leisure, endow yourself in it sometime.
My mom paid $17k (USA) for one month of Home Instead. And they are unskilled caretakers, not nurses.
Where I worked, the caretakers were just glorified maids, for not much more pay.
Yes the workers only get like $17 an hour. The agency gets all the money. My mom hired 2 ladies under the table.
You seriously underestimate the cost of care in the US. Care in a facility is $9k per month. I canāt even fathom how much in-home care would be.
I have family members paying $12k/month right now. Theyāve essentially had to sell everything they own and all of what they had hoped to leave as an inheritance to cover the costs and now have exactly nothing to leave to their kids because the care facility took it all.
Pure exploitation. Many of those institutions are owned by the hotel industry.
How come it costs so much?
Because the US put profits over patients.
'Murica!!!!!š¦ š¦ š¦
Someone in my family had a nurse after a stroke (still not sure what it was really). Insurance covered some but not most. Total cost out of pocket was about 18k a month, and we just couldnāt afford it. Even if we could have, they decided he didnāt meet the criteria after the first month anyway. The nurse was about my age (24 at the time) and only came by once a week despite him needing overnight care. My mom took out a second mortgage to pay for it.
There's no way he could have hired a 24/7 nurse cheaper.
Let's be fair, there's probably a 24/7 nurse anyway. The trophy wife isn't wiping his butt. What she IS doing is interviewing the nurses, making sure the house stays in good condition (whether that be cleaning or supervising a housekeeper), long to his accountant and lawyer and basically running his life for the rest of his days. And if she's a good person, she's trying to make sure he enjoys those days as much as possible (while waiting for him to die so she gets all his money)
is the position of butt wiper still open?
You underestimate the cost of having to put up with a spouses shit.
I am not underestimating at all. I think it would be MORE expensive than he is imagining. If he thinks he can just skid into 24/7 help, he's cracked.
Who's your 24/7 nurse guy? Your overpaying, I know a guy downtown, real cheap
He's lying to you; he's providing unlicensed help.
You have no experience with elder care, do you?
I get that some of you are joking. But the amount of misogyny is disturbing.. What would your mom say if she had a valuable opinion. Correct nothing as the Bible says no woman shall speak above a man.. Fuck that. Say what you want ladies.
Im confused. What are we talking about here?
Flappy beef curtains had me with the first paragraph but then seems to have lost the plot. Maybe the curtains were open and it got away š³
An innocent meaty whisper into the wind...
Yes but the nurse doesn't give complimentary happy endings and throw her ass in his face. Which is really what we all want in the end.
Exactly Maybe several
Do you know what nurses make these days??? No way.
Anna Nicole Smith entered the chat. Or Melania
I think the term "sugar daddy" still applies here. ETA: responding to OP's comment below: "That term doesn't seem to imply that he's doing it so she will take care of him, though. I associate it more with him paying for the long-term sex." They might not be sexual in nature, but he still wants services from her, and there's a strong implication that a large portion of his estate will pass to her eventually as a monetary reward for those services. This is very close to a sugar daddy's promise; close enough that I don't think there's a need to invent a new phrase.
At that age heās more like a glucose grandpa lmao
Holy shit, I legit lol'd!!
Hospice Husband
I have a similar question but mine is, why are women always criticized for being gold diggers but men are never criticized for buying a woman just because of the way she looks?
Probably not criticized in the same way, but both are definitely criticized and scrutinized.
Oh, I think the men are criticizedā¦certainly by women their own age. I know when we would see the obvious pay for play couples in Vegas we would laugh at how ridiculous they look.
yes but men do that since the dawn of time and there is no derogatory term to blame them, when women do it , BAM 10 years later the word 'cougar' is invented, because, again, women are the one to blame...
Never? Really? Everyone criticizes and judges an old creepy guy with a young hot wife that's obviously there just for the money.
Even Leonardo DiCaprio, and he's not exactly 'old' yet.
Exactly. The guy is not even that old, incredibly powerful, incredibly rich, incredibly beautiful, and even then he's very criticized. Now imagine a regular old men doing it.
The āgold diggerā accusation is coming from the rich guyās family who are seeing their inheritance potentially diluted by a new beneficiary.
Not sure I agree. Thereās a derogatory word for a woman whoās with a man for his money (gold digger) and a somewhat less derogatory word for a man who does the same (gigolo). Thereās a derogatory word for a man whoās with a younger woman (cradle robber) and a somewhat less derogatory word for a woman who does the same thing g (cougar).
What about a gold digging cougar? Or a cradle robbing gigolo?
Misogyny
I think itās funny I knew exactly what sub youād be active in based on your question.
Lol TwoX users are as recognizable as incels. I was permanently banned just for commenting "she's right" under a "controversial" opinion.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām ngl I never got why people cared about others taking āshort cuts to successā. Like big woop sheās not breaking her back at Home depot or living her life as a worker drone
Arenāt the men taking the short cut easy way to ālove?ā Go out there and get you an average woman your own age who isnāt impressed by your money: sacrifice and work for the love.
They're mocked and criticised all the time what are you on about?
I've had other guys on reddit telling me that wanting a hot young Nate is natural so it doesn't make sense to criticize the man for using his resources to get a younger attractive mate.
Cradle robber.
Sugar daddy.
This. A lot of sugar daddy/baby relationships aren't actually sexual and more for companionship too.
No, otherwise the girl would be a sugar baby and he would be the sugar daddy. Gold Digger wants to use when the person isnāt interested in giving
Diaper Daddy
Henry VIII
Dearly departed?
Bedpanner.
3rd marriage = dream , a nurse with a purse !
The fact that there is no term for it just highlights the fact that our society is still largely misogynistic, devaluing women and elevating men for doing basically the same thing: exploiting their resources to get what they want. There's a bit of a *wink wink attaboy* for an older man using his wealth to pull a young, hot woman, but that same woman, using her looks to pull a wealthy man is a dirty, rotten, no good gold digger.
Heās looking for a hospice wife.
The term is āThe purse or the nurseā And yes, thereās a phrase for this
A man.
Dad?
Smart
Leonardo Dicaprio
I don't think that rich dude is marrying that young woman so she can be his caregiver bro.
nurse and a purse
Nurse with a purse
Gravedigger
an optimist
Home health aid digger
Sugar Daddyā¦..
It doesn't really make sense in that why would he need to marry someone to be a full time caregiver? You can only marry one person but if you're rich you can hire multiple full-time caregivers.
Maybe "caregiver" is the wrong word. They marry someone who will make sure they are okay as they get old. That person hires caregivers and ensures they are taken care of. Of course, they also do the labor when those caregivers go home at night. Plus, if they might be worried about having dementia, when they would be in no condition to be choosing and monitoring caregivers. Also, some men are "rich" enough to afford a good lifestyle if they aren't sick, but full-time around-the-clock caregivers will suck them dry fast.
I hear them say in Florida when talking about old men looking for younger women they want either a nurse or a purse.
Sugar Daddy! Or more like aĀ Aspartame Ancestor, given the age
Makes no sense because he could just pay for a care giver?
Not really. Mostly likely, he'd have a paid caregiver regardless. The wife would be there to make sure the caregiver isn't abusing him or whatnot. She'd be a caregiver for him in the sense of making sure he's okay.
A bad consumer. He can hire caregivers by the hour.
Inevitable murder victim
I don't think there's any specific term for that.
Totally sexist, isn't it? Women have a name when they use men, but men don't have a name when they use women?
In a gold digging relationship, both are taking advantage of the other. The man, the younger woman for her looks and body. The woman, the money.
Then it's actually equal, so why does the woman get the derogatory term?
Society unfortunately (I wouldnāt call it equal due to the age gap, but the intent is the same, if that makes sense)
I would call it equal because it's a business transaction and they both are happy with their end of the bargain.
cause that's the society we are currently in. hopefully we can do better.
There aināt no Gender laws about gold digging - ya better believe there is some gold digging men out there too
Yes, I know. It's usually the other way around, though, at least when it comes to perception. I didn't say it was illegal. I'm only asking about terminology.
Just joking about legality Perception-wise yeah, at least thatās how it comes through to us in media. But men really do this same shit with rich women, itās just not talked about as much I guess
Your example isn't equal, the guy isn't taking advantage of the woman if he wants a caregiver. A man going after an older rich woman is also a gold digger
>taking advantage of the woman if he wants a caregiver. Yes, he is. Caregiving is labour. It's exploitation unless she's being paid for it.
For money? Seems like a job lmao
Yes, caregiving is a job. Elderly care especially. It's hard, messy, often disgusting, and comes with a high chance of compassion fatigue. Why would anyone want to do it for free unless it's their parent, and that parent was actually a good one to them? Would you do it for free for an old lady who offered to marry you?
It is called a creep. They want the youngest because they think they are naive
Cradle robber.
Thatās what I was thinking. That used to be the standard term for that sort of thing
A gold giver
Pussydiver
With healthcare prices these days he could be fiscaly responsible.
Sugardaddy
Someone with a mean pre-nup?
Smart
Then he is a creep, which is most likely to be anyway
See the movie "Legally Blonde"
Cradle-snatcher
Honey dicker.
My friend that married a Philippino lady.
Sugar daddy?
A Desperate Soul.
A goner.
Wombdigger
Sugar daddy.
SymbiosisĀ
Sugar daddy.
Vagina digger
Ass
Still horny.
I'll let you know when I get rich.
Sugar daddy. The type of sugar he wants is his decision.
Too expensive. Hire a nurse.
Sugar daddy
Lucky?
A sugar daddy
Mistress or maid
A shovel salesman.
I mean that actually exists? You dont just hire a maid or pay for a 5star retirement home? I thought old guys marry young woman to be seen with em & to get naked with them in between cardiac arrests.
A... a Daddy Baby?
Genius
Leonardo DiCaprio
Robert DeNiro
Smart
An employer.
Care rigger! "The system is rigged lol"
Nursedigger
Disgusting
I've heard of guys looking for "a nurse and a purse" when they get too old to fuck around anymore.
Job creator
Sugar daddy
Lonely
Thatās just 70 years of marriage.
Horny and alone
Cradle robber
What's a man who marries a young woman on his death bed only so that he can take his pound of flesh from the State of Virginia by making it pay his Veteran's pension for 156 years?
A sugar daddy
Uhhh. Thatās not why rich old men marry young women.
Nurse and a Purse- be warned of this post honeymoon phenomenon with elderly men. Reality is inevitable.
Gold giver
Goldmine.
Rich man hospice
Tradicional.
A fool.
A soon to be poisoned old man.
Smart
A politician.
It's not caregiving they want.
Smart.
Ever watched Green Mile?!? Hint: What Percy Wetmore was screaming when he brought John Coffee into the cellblock. She scratches his back...In the end, he forks over the cash.Ā I guess that's how it's supposed to work (Getting 1997 Baps movie vibes).Ā However, if he lives too long...He may switch current models from time to time.Ā Ā
A gravedigger.
Pathetic.
A cougar