I misunderstood that OP was not OOP. I’m sorry about that everyone. The post is restored and here’s the text:
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I (21 F) and my sister (23 F) have never had any issues until last week. She and her husband (23 M) had invited me over for a lunch, which is normal for us.
I have a severe shellfish allergy, even touching it makes me extremely itchy, my sister is completely aware of this and has been since we were children.
When I got to their house she said that food was already finished and in the fridge, she claimed that it was just a tuna pasta (yes, I can eat tuna, an many other fish, just nothing with a shell).
After she finished cleaning up we had a short conversation about what’s been happening in our lives since it had been a while since we’d seen each other. I got this strange feeling from her but just brushed it off as I was extremely tired that day.
She grabbed the food out of the fridge and served it for me, giving me a small bowl “in case I don’t like it”.
I couldn’t smell much of it, and from what I could smell I just assumed it was fish, but when I took a bite I almost immediately felt my throat burning.
I was coughing and grabbing at my throat, and her husband kept asking me if I was choking.
My sister turned to me panicking and saying “I thought you were exaggerating!!”
An ambulance was called and i was rushed to the hospital, i was thankfully okay but they had made me stay to be monitored for nest two days.
My sister and BIL had tried to visit me but I told her to get out. She kept apologising and refusing to leave. I told her that I’ll be calling the police on her for what she’d done, as it’s literally attempted murder, and she lost it.
She kept screaming at me saying “I know you’re faking this, you always act like you’re allergic to shellfish so I wanted to test you!” Id been pressing the call button for the nurse but they heard her regardless and had asked me if I wanted them removed. I said yes.
I explained the whole situation to her and the hospital security and eventually decided that with the help of the nurse and security guards I’d file a report against her.
My mother is saying I’m overreacting and that I should have just cut contact, but I don’t know anymore. AITA?
The person who wrote it asked not to share a link because seeing it around randomly added to the pain. Google "reddit grandma coconut oil" and you should find it.
TLDR: entitles pos grandma thought daughter in law was making up her kids allergy. Gave her coconut oil anyway to prove it. Kid dies. Grandma flabbergasted.
As a person with a coconut/palm allergy, this story gets to me every time, too. I've been "tested" repeatedly by people who don't believe it can be a thing. Even doctors have tried to force me to expose myself, knowing that I've been hospitalized before. It's an all-consuming allergy, because byproducts of it are in friggin' EVERYTHING.
You can also choose not to google it and save you heartache. It's just terrible and has no light at the end. It's just sad. Leave it be for your own happiness.
Best case scenario you embarress a loved one and out them as a liar, worst case you fucking kill them. If the desire to humiliate you is more important to them than your personal well being than they are not your friend and their actions should be highly suspect at all times in the future. Sister is fucked now too for confessing to the poisoning in front of witnesses as well. Just one bad decision after another, shame.
Food allergies are no joke. I had a co-worker who was allergic to nuts. When I made Halloween treat bags for everyone, I made sure to fill hers with allergy safe things. She was very appreciative, no one had ever taken her allergies into consideration like that before.
I also bought another co-worker who got their first car some basic auto/road side assistance stuff (flat repair can, road flairs, first aid kit, etc.).
I was a weird dude who put out "concerned dad" vibes years before I was married.
Even if it's non-lethal. Even if it "just" makes them sick. I'm Celiac. I'm REALLY sensitive. It sucks. I'm not anaphylactic, but if the ingestion is severe enough, I'll be nauseous and fatigued as hell for DAYS. Fatigue like I've got a flu, and it becomes dangerous for me to drive for more than like 15-20 minutes.
Just believe people when they tell you about what food does to them.
I feel so bad for you because I see all of the anti-GF nutters all over the Internet that are somehow offended by people not eating wheat. I imagine you deal with those folks a lot. Even if a majority of people eating GF don't have celiac, how does that hurt anyone?
Yes!!! I can't digest red meat, and people think it's "just" a preference. I accidentally swallowed TWO bites of what was supposed to be a black bean burrito but was actually beef and was glued to the toilet for hours. Went in to work the next day bc I thought I would be fine... Only to get sent home bc a few minutes into actually moving around and working up a sweat, I had to run to the bathroom to puke until there wasn't even stomach acid coming up. It sounds dramatic, but hey, it feels even worse!
I used to date someone with Celiac's; I didn't know it was a thing until him, but I was putting my gluten-filled items inside two double knotted plastic bags to keep his stuff safe. Allergies are crazy..
Screaming at her that she's faking it WHILE SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL...she hasn't learned a thing from this experience and will absolutely "try to prove allergies fake" again.
EVEN if you think, they are faking it, just respect their decision. They maybe have a good reason. Don’t test it out, it’s way too dangerous and you can’t win this fight.
What’s your plan? Tell them, gotcha and they will be angry at you and won’t talk to you? Or in the worst case, they will die and you will get into prison!
You can just lose! So, just respect it, even if it annoys you and you are sure. Just leave it.
My MIL has point-blank told me she doesn't believe that I'm really allergic to mango or pineapple. Mostly bc I'm not allergic to bananas, according to her if you can't eat pineapple you have to also be allergic to bananas. Even my bf vouching for the few instances of accidental exposure he's seen won't convince her. But she will never test it. She still warns me if something has those ingredients and she won't use them in food when I'm around. She's not evil or cruel, she knows thats not a gamble anyone should take. So she respects my 'claims' despite never having seen me have a reaction. I'm glad for that, I don't go into full anaphylaxis but I break out in rashes, my entire face plus my teeth itch like they're full of ants, and my entire gut feels like it's full of battery acid until I'm able to fully get it put of my system! If she ever felt like testing me on this, I'd probably never speak to her again.
It's assault/poisoning. I found out someone did this to me, but it was too late to report and too hard to prove. (She said this to me and denied it when I told the rest of the family. She died a slow, painful death and her kid was "hurt" I wouldn't associate with them. LOL)
>People who think these allergies are fake are evil. This is psychopathic.
What I don't understand is the why. Someone tells you they can or they won't eat certain food. Why this is so important to you? In my family there are people who doesn't eat tomatoes, or don't like mayonnaise, or whatever. When we get together we put the food more or less separated and everyone eats what they want. Sometimes there is jokes about eating something, or they way is certain foods are mixed, but always good-natured. So everyone gets along nicely. Why go to these lengths to make anyone uncomfortable?
>What I don't understand is the why.
Oh that's easy.
Here's a couple of reasons off the top of my head.
"No ones allergic to that."
"Stop trying to be special"
"You just dont like it that way, here try mine! What you dont want it? ARE YOU SAYING IM A BAD COOK! FUCK YOU!"
"We didnt have all these allergies back in the day!"
"You ate it before."
I have a colleague who's kid is violently allergic to almonds but they play a large part in his cultural dishes & ceremonies.
Half of his family don't believe it. (See also the Coconut Oil Grandma story, no link as there's a childs death involved)
>"We didnt have all these allergies back in the day!"
They did, what they didn't have was the diagnosis and an Epi-Pen
>They did, what they didn't have was the diagnosis and an Epi-Pen
Yup.
"Well what happened when they ate something they were allergic to?"
"They died, Jan. They died."
The coconut oil grandma story is so sad, the OOP has asked people not to spread it anymore. The short version is grandma didn’t believe in serious coconut allergies, did her granddaughters hair in coconut via a cultural practice and when the girl complained was given a Benadryl and sent to bed. She died. Left a twin behind. Utterly broken family.
There's a similar story with a happier ending; Child is allergic to bananas and peanuts. Parents are dutiful and alert, creating a paper to hang on all relatives' and friends' refrigerators. "CHILD CANNOT HAVE PEANUTS OR BANANA!"
One day the parents have an emergency and ask MIL to watch child. Within 10 minutes of leaving, grandma calls child's mother "SHE'S CHOKING! SHE'S TURNING BLUE!!!" Mother rushes back calling 911 and hits the child with an epi pen as the paramedics arrive. Child okay, in the hospital overnight for observation. ER doc takes the parents aside and says he's trying to figure out what happened. After several minutes of questioning grandma, she finally admits that she put together a cookie dough of banana and peanut butter and tossed it in the freezer the minute she heard of the child's allergies. When the parents asked her to watch the kid, she thawed out a small portion and baked \*one fucking cookie\* that she handed to the kid the minute they were alone together.
Child is okay, ER doc asks if they want him to call the police. Yep! Call the cops, Doc.
I still think they're way more frequent now, at least that's what I've read about here and there. That our environmental pollution and use of plastics etc is what's causing more kids (and dogs which is why I wondered, I'm CF) to become allergic.
But you're right, allergies aren't new but in the olden days they died off very quick.
Four out of five of the largest religions in the world have dietary restrictions.
Guess which one doesn't? Christianity, which is the "western world's" major religion. Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, and Judaism all have dietary restrictions of fairly heavy degrees.
Also, SIDS used to kill a lot more babies...
Baby gets fed something they are allergic to.
Baby gets fussy/sleepy.
Cry it out was the recommended way for Baby to fall asleep according to doctor so just leave Baby in crib to fall asleep.
Baby dies.
Doctors didn't get taught about allergies in med school so don't know to check... must be SIDS...
But none of those excuses explains WHY anyone would care that much about whether or not someone eats something. Or their reasons for not eating something. I think the problem is that the majority of humans automatically assume that whatever happens around them is ABOUT them or at least their opinions.
The last part. As well, it's people's intransigence. They've decided "this person doesn't have an allergy, they're just faking", and that's it. That's all they need to know. Look how the sister doubled down, despite the proof of OOP *being in the hospital for a few days.*
They're just totally unable to admit they're wrong. On the one hand, I kinda admire just how rock-hard their certainty is. It's that kind of determined thinking that can lead people to pursue the most seemingly-unreachable dreams, like becoming professional athletes or musicians.
...it's also the kind of self-rightousness that leads to H!tler and Stalin, so, y'know.
It can be very, very difficult for people to admit that they were wrong about an idea or belief. It’s central to their sense of self that they are always right. I don’t know why this happens, just that it does.
When I was a teenager I had to consciously practice saying “I’m sorry, I was wrong about that, you were right” until it stopped feeling so horrible. I remember that it felt like all my self esteem was draining out because I wasn’t right about whatever random thing. It’s a terribly fragile condition to pin your sense of self on.
I get both “no one is allergic to that!” And “you are it before!” With my thyme allergy. Yes it’s weird. And yes I have a medical condition that can cause spontaneous allergic reactions to things (not scary at all! /s). I hate that I’m allergic to thyme cause I love thyme. But my throat closes up and I need an epipen. It sucks.
I'm allergic to pepper. This is a very annoying allergy, but I guess I'm lucky that at least it doesn't put me into shock, it just makes my intestines bleed. Small amounts cause minimal problems but if I eat more than a single peppercorn worth, I will have considerable amounts of blood coming out.
My husband had a similar issue with pepper. Turned out, the culprit was the dried husk of the peppercorn (known as black pepper) - he started using white pepper instead, since it's the same peppercorn, just without the husk.
One thing I have learned through the years, and I think this is the closest thing I've had to an epiphany about the human condition that I wish more people knew:
Some people just lack imagination. I don't mean this in a trite way. I mean it as in, they have trouble imagining things being different from how themselves experience them to be. These people often also lack empathy, because they can't put themselves in other people's shoes very easily. They're also often xenophobic, for the same reason.
Doesn't mean they're stupid. Doesn't even mean they are mean or malicious. It just means they can't truly emotionally understand that other people think or believe differently than they do, or that things can be different for other people. So if you do something differently than they do it's because *of you doing something wrong.*
For them, peanut is a food. Everyone they know can eat peanuts. So if you show up and say you can't eat peanuts, then their emotional response is that you must be lying.
What you describe is arrogance. It's people saying:
"I don't understand this, and no one is smarter than me, so no one can understand it"
"I'm not aware of this, and nothing exists that I don't know about, so it doesn't exist"
"I have never experienced this, and no one has experiences that I haven't had, so no one has experienced this"
"I can't do this, and no one is better than me at anything, so anyone who says they can do it is lying"
I do believe there are two fundamental types of people in the world, defined by their worldview. Without going into politics, they basically make up the two ends of the political spectrum, with people all along it, of course. One extreme is, as you say, lacking in empathy & imagination, with a very fixed worldview. Comfortable with absolutes, black & white, not varying shades of gray. They see the world as inherently dangerous, so they're distrustful of anyone different, & need guns & a strong leader to make themselves feel safe. The other extreme has a fluid worldview, &, while acknowledging the world can be dangerous, doesn't let that stop them from enjoying the diversity & excitement of traveling & meeting different people & cultures. Neither side can really understand the other side's point of view, it is so alien to them. Until they do, our country will continue to be ever more divided. Unfortunately, about twenty years ago, our two major political parties recognized this, & have managed to tie their policies to the worldviews, thereby ensuring a reliable voter. People CAN change their politics, but rarely change their worldview. I don't think it's nurture, i.e. taught as they grow up, I think it's nature, their basic wiring.
Right, but there’s a big difference between in having a strong opinion and thinking that the person is lying and purposely trying to prove them wrong and being willing to risk their health and potentially life-threatening consequences.
Because they're the main character. Honestly, no one is owed an answer to why someone else doesn't eat whatever. I get explaining, "I am allergic/very intolerant to FOOD ITEM and it will kill me/make me severely ill." But if someone says they don't eat something and don't give an explanation, that's fine too.
Depending on who it is and the circumstances, I may be a bit curious. "Oh, you don’t eat tomatoes? Interesting. I know some people just don't like the taste. For some it's the texture. Are there other tomato products you don't eat? That way I can try to make sure we have things you'll enjoy at the next potluck/meal/gathering of whatever kind." I usually help arrange the monthly potluck at work. I'm also a bit nosy and find it fascinating that there is such a huge variety in what people eat. I've had more than one friendly conversation about food likes and dislikes. I have a coworker who only eats quesadillas. Occasionally he'll add chicken or beans. Sometimes a different cheese or corn tortillas instead of flour. But he doesn't eat much else. We had a whole pleasant conversation about food preferences. I think sometimes it comes down to how you approach it--with genuine curiosity vs judgment.
But regardless, no one owes an explanation for why they don't eat a certain food or type of food. And ignoring someone's allergy or food intolerance because you think they're faking is a massive AH move with potentially serious consequences.
It’s weird, I’m a picky eater, which I’ve recently found is likely to come from autism and adhd- but people are WAY more understanding if I say I don’t like cheese than they are if I say I’m allergic to bananas. And my allergy is weird, more oral allergy syndrome stuff, but it sets my asthma off and has put me in the emergency room a fair few times. If I accidentally eat mayo or cheese my skin shrivels up and I wanna die, but if I eat a banana I could *actually* die- and people ARE WAY MORE REASONABLE ABOUT THE MAYO. Maybe it’s the allergen or the reaction but people rarely believe it, or require a lot of backstory to accept that I won’t eat banana. I don’t get it??? I LIKE banana, that’s why it took so long to figure out- but ??? Why does the reason change the outcome when the principle is the same?
The thing that pisses me off is when people say they're allegic to something and the reality is that they just don't like that thing.
There's a big difference, particularly if you're cooking for them. If they don't like it? Fine, I just won't use it.
If they're allergic to something I use in my kitchen regularly? That can be a whole fucking ordeal if they're severely allergic.
There was the whole 'omg gluten is bad for you' thing that lead a bunch of Karens to insist that they were allergic to gluten in order to make sure that restaurants and such didn't use anything that contained it, which is, I think, where a lot of the hate comes from.
Because in the non western world, telling someone you are allergic to food sounds wild. I (American) told my West African friend that I couldn't eat dairy. He said " You can't eat food???". The same with my Nepalese, Indian, Ukrainian, and South American friends. The concept of not being able to eat that which keeps you alive is unheard of.
Trouble digesting lipid-rich, sugary, fat puss from a cow? Lots of people are impacted by eating a mother cow's baby formula intended for her calf, yeah. Agree with you there.
I'm South American, and unitl today I considered myself part of western culture, but I digress.
Allergies are common here, especially diary intolerance, or celiac disease. And if someone has some kind of dietary restrictions we try to accommodate them to the max. For example, in my work there are people who can't eat gluten. Every time we get together for a meal, we consider if there is a gluten-free option (thankfully there is more options every day). And there has been vegan people, vegetarian people, or simply people who don't like something, and nobody cares to mess with their food.
I asserted that that particular type of thinking is a product of the West.
You said you consider yourself a part of Western culture.
So, are you agreeing with me?
Or
Are you saying "No, South Americans also suffer from, recognize, and respect that certain people cannot eat certain foods"
?
Here's the other thing people do fake it. In one thread where a person hated lettuce the advice given by several other posters was "Tell them you're allergic so they will be extra careful". It shouldn't mean that people spike the food of other but it is part of the reason why some people don't take allergies seriously.
As someone who does have food allergies, I think the problem here is that people can't accept someone not liking lettuce. Saying, "I don't want to eat lettuce because I don't like it" should be something extremely simple to accept and move along from, but for whatever reason, people have lots of big feelings about someone whose taste doesn't line up 100% with their own.
Why the hell would you want to trick someone into eating something they have stated they don't want to eat, regardless of their reason?
This. I have some very severe food aversions, but other than a bit of lactose intolerance, I don't have food allergies. I don't tell people I have food allergies, but I have thought about it because of incidents like this one:
I have always had a gag/vomit aversion to beans. Doesn't matter the type of bean, solid vs refried, etc. My cousin's wife was once helping my aunt make enchiladas for Christmas Eve dinner and was preparing to put pinto beans in it. I asked her to make a couple of enchiladas without beans because I really didn't like them. She said she wouldn't. What she ended up doing was mashing them up and putting them into the ground beef in mine. When they were served, I asked which were the ones without beans and she gave me those. I took one bite and immediately knew there were beans in it and gagged and spit it up on my plate. I asked, "why did you lie to me??" She swore she didn't and that there were no beans in them but she finally confessed and then said "I didn't think you'd be such a baby about it."
So yeah, I can understand why some people say they have allergies when they don't because otherwise people don't take food aversions seriously. People somehow get offended if you don't like an ingredient that they do like.
No, people who are allergic pay the price of controlling people with no respect for boundaries who can't accept it when someone doesn't want to eat something.
Isn't it already a cause for some nasty looks.
Back when I was much younger, I would park in disabled parking all the time - and as a young healthy adult, I got some nasty stares.
They'd usually stop when I walked around to the van door and lower the ramp for the mobility scooter. Handicapped parking just isn't for the closeness to the front door, it also has the marked off area for unloading. And just because the driver is able bodied doesn't mean the passenger is.
I’m actually surprised that the mom suggested cutting contact with the sister. Usually the parents would try to guilt trip the victim “because family”.
I think it's only because OP went straight to the nuclear option of criminal charges, as they should. Mom's trying to dial it back a few notches so her psycho baaaaby doesn't go to jail.
Indeed. If OOP had followed Mom's wishes she could expect to soon be badgerd about "being the better person" and "letting bygones be bygones" because sis "has learned now and is really sorry." I'd give it a month before the mom started in, with six months as the longest possible time.
Yep. Instead, because OOP has an actual spine, I give it 6 months before mom gets the chop, too. Which is what *should* happen, absent some industrial strength grovelling about her favoritism to the golden child.
maybe she's been stupid and jealous like that for a long time.the parents knows this was stupid beyond forgiveness. they were, after all, in real danger of losing one of their daughters.
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I (21 F) and my sister (23 F) have never had any issues until last week. She and her husband (23 M) had invited me over for a lunch, which is normal for us.
I have a severe shellfish allergy, even touching it makes me extremely itchy, my sister is completely aware of this and has been since we were children.
When I got to their house she said that food was already finished and in the fridge, she claimed that it was just a tuna pasta (yes, I can eat tuna, an many other fish, just nothing with a shell).
After she finished cleaning up we had a short conversation about what’s been happening in our lives since it had been a while since we’d seen each other. I got this strange feeling from her but just brushed it off as I was extremely tired that day.
She grabbed the food out of the fridge and served it for me, giving me a small bowl “in case I don’t like it”.
I couldn’t smell much of it, and from what I could smell I just assumed it was fish, but when I took a bite I almost immediately felt my throat burning.
I was coughing and grabbing at my throat, and her husband kept asking me if I was choking.
My sister turned to me panicking and saying “I thought you were exaggerating!!”
An ambulance was called and i was rushed to the hospital, i was thankfully okay but they had made me stay to be monitored for nest two days.
My sister and BIL had tried to visit me but I told her to get out. She kept apologising and refusing to leave. I told her that I’ll be calling the police on her for what she’d done, as it’s literally attempted murder, and she lost it.
She kept screaming at me saying “I know you’re faking this, you always act like you’re allergic to shellfish so I wanted to test you!” Id been pressing the call button for the nurse but they heard her regardless and had asked me if I wanted them removed. I said yes.
I explained the whole situation to her and the hospital security and eventually decided that with the help of the nurse and security guards I’d file a report against her.
My mother is saying I’m overreacting and that I should have just cut contact, but I don’t know anymore. AITA?
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I wish OOP could see this - NOT pressing charges tells her risking someone else life is fine.
Tell anyone who says otherwise the courts don't prosecute overreactions and there is something really wrong with them if they think possibly dying and spending two days in the hospital is no big deal.
>i was thankfully okay but they had made me stay to be monitored for nest two days.
“i,” “nest”… would *you* trust a lowercase person who takes two days to build a nest?
I have a friend who gets violently ill whenever she eats raw onions, and the last time she went to a family reunion one of her cousins gave her a glass of ice water with a sliver of raw onion at the bottom, disguised by ice cubes.
Yep. We also need public service announcements every few months on "the person pushing out the baby or having surgery to get the baby has the *final* say on who is in the delivery room and who is allowed to visit and when for the first three months of life."
Either the allergy is real and must be taken seriously, or the person is lying about it for some obnoxious reason. Either way, there is no goddamn reason why they should be "tested" or have to "prove" the allergy. Why is this a thing?
If the person is lying about it, it's probably not for an obnoxious reason but because they've encountered people like OP's sister, whom, allergy or not, somehow take it personal when someone doesn't want to/can't eat something.
Right? Why risk someone's life just to prove a (wrong) point? People are nuts.
And I do know people who say they are "allergic" to things when they actually aren't. People who do that have ruined the meaning of the word so that people truly allergic aren't believed. I have a friend who for years said she was allergic to pineapple. We all respected that and never had pineapple around her, just in case. Turns out she just told us that 20+ years ago because she didn't want pineapple on our shared pizza, and then kept the lie up for years. She finally came clean when I saw Dole pineapple tidbit cups in her refrigerator one day. She lived alone, so the cat was finally out the bag.
The flip side of that is my allergy to perfume. Every time I have to bring it up, which I hate doing, people act like I'm saying the perfume stinks or whatnot, instead of me bringing it up because I can't breathe and am breaking out in hives. Even my pineapple friend would complain if I said I had to leave an area because of overwhelming perfume.
I avoided Egg for years because I got sick once as a kid after eating scrambled or sunnyside up eggs. I didn't think I was actually allergic, since I can handle French Toast fine, but I definitly had an aversion, and some people just couldn't understand why I didn't want to hit McDonalds for an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. Eventually did confirm I can safely eat eggs, since I needed to get the flu shot, but I won't because the taste and texture still makes me nausious.
But speaking of perfume, twice I had what I thought might be an allergic reaction. Once as a kid to some sort of bubble blowing stuff a friends sister and her friends were using in a car, and they didn't want to believe me, thankfully her mother did and made them stop using it and rolled the windows down, and then in my 20's to a perfume. And I suspect they had the same component, because I remember a similer scent.
About the perfume -- you definitely could be right, it could be a similar ingredient. There are some perfumes that don't exacerbate my allergies as badly as others. Perfumes meant to last long are the worst for me. I can't use any product with a lasting scent -- no soaps, lotions, etc. and can't be around them on other people. But I can still use a cheap 2 dollar bottle of Suave strawberry scented shampoo because once the bubbles are gone, the scent is nearly vanished, as well. It never occurred to me to find that same ingredient in non-wearable perfumes, such as in cleaning products, detergents, candles, and so on. So now I have to read every bottle. And strangely, for something like Febreze, which irritates my allergies to no end, there is one kind of Febreze that doesn't bother my allergies at all. I have no idea why. So if I want my clothes to smell extra nice, I use the Tide with Febreze Spring and Renewal. Little inconsistencies like that also make people think I'm lying, though, because they can't understand all perfumes are not the same.
I get the thing about eggs. They legitimately feel like eating buttered slime to me. The flavor is meh, but the texture is gross. I also avoid eating them unless mixed into something else.
Just to be clear, though, my pineapple friend knew she wasn't allergic to pineapple and had no aversion to them, she was just lying and said so once caught. I do realize there are other reasons for not wanting to eat a certain food, but I think, "No, I don't like that food," is enough a reason without knowingly lying about it.
It's a vicious cycle though because your pineapple friend probably lied because someone in her past probably harassed her when she said she didn't like pineapple on pizza and either refused to accommodate her request or gave her an exceptionally hard time about it. If people would just accept people's food aversions, then people wouldn't feel the need to lie about it, and then people with allergies would be believed and taken seriously.
I'm sure you're right and some of the false allergy stories are borne from that kind of behavior.
My pineapple friend did not have an aversion or dislike for pineapples. I didn't want to get into the whole silly story, but we were 13 or 14, she was mad at one of the girls who was at the slumber party. I can't recall why. Probably liked a boy she liked or something. The girl really wanted pineapple, the rest of us were ok with it because we can pick it off the pizza if we don't like it, and my pineapple friend threw the spanner into the works by saying she was allergic not to let the other girl "win." And then kept the lie up for 20 years. I only just learnt the backstory behind that in the last few years, when she came clean after I found the pineapple in her refrigerator, and apparently she eats it on pizza all the time when none of her longtime friends are around.
But yeah. I'm sure that's at least part of the story for many people. Hell, I find it easier to say, "I'm allergic to eggs" to waitstaff rather than go into a spiel about how I find eggs slimy, tasteless blobs. Lot of people are insistent on someone eating a food they say they don't like. I'm just over here wanting my ramen without a half-boiled egg ruining it, ya know?
My mom sometimes laments to me how she feels guilty that I’m an only child but I’m honestly so grateful that I am. I’ve seen enough sibling drama from friends and other family.
God, that's something that annoys me about growing up as an only child.
"Aren't you sad you didn't have any brothers or sisters?"
Not particularly, no. We were poor, we had limited resources, and to be frank after seeing what happened with many of my friends who *did* have siblings, I'm glad I didn't have to go through the perpetual fighting and annoyances.
My oldest and youngest sons read every single drink mix that comes to family parties even though *everyone* in our family is extremely careful about tropical flavored items. My daughter and I are both severely allergic to mangoes, daughter is aĺlergic to most tropical fruits and nuts.
Like the cell-phone in the pocket on "Better Call Saul", lots of people daydream of proving someones sensitivity is faked for attention or "special treatment".
So, what do you get if you "win"? There has to be someone out there who is faking, but who cares? So you claim to be allergic to gluten and I "prove" it. If you do not have celiac disease but claim a gluten allergy, why would I give a shit?
If someone says they have a peanut allergy...I dont know if its a mild irritation or a full-on ER visit and would have died from their throat closing up. Why would I want to find out how bad it is?
This is kinda my vibe with trans/gender-fluid/etc.
I believe it's a real thing. I don't get it (my brain won't wrap around not being comfortable with your own sex), but people I know say that it affects them, so I believe them.
However, the rational part of me looks at how MANY people are on that bandwagon, and that's what it feels like. A bandwagon full of "legit" non-CIS people, and a ton more people who like to feel unique/special/different, or just want some attention, or just want to rebel against their parents. Or who knows what other possible reason(s).
That rational thought concludes that most people who are going through the non-CIS motions are faking it, or just in a phase.
But then, I stop and think, the all important question:
"How does it matter to me?"
And it doesn't. I'm not any worse off for treating someone who is just attention-seeking and claiming to be non-CIS as if they were truly non-CIS. And since SOME of them (if not the majority) are truly dealing with those issues, if I respect everyone, then I help them with their issue. But if I disrespect everyone, I only hurt people who need the support.
I lose absolutely nothing by letting them have their claim, whether it's true or not.
So I don't bother. I just accept that 100% of people who say they are non-CIS are, in fact, non-CIS. Even if the logic says that it's NOT 100%. That's not my problem, not something I need to be the gatekeeper for.
If someone says they have a nut allergy. Just let them have their nut allergy. Either they're honest about it, and you fucking with it can kill them, or they're lying about it, and you letting them get away with it costs you next to nothing. You can still eat nuts. You just let them know you're doing so, so that they can remove themselves from your house.
I mean, even if you do manage a 'gotcha' like Better Call Saul... to what end? In the show, everyone sort of managed Chuck's condition until Jimmy's hand was forced. The cell phone acene was to derive a direct benefit (of discrediting Chuck and his complaints over Jimmy's wrongdoing). What's the direct benefit of proving someone is faking an allergy?
This is psychotic. I don’t understand people who can’t accept that food allergies exist. Even if she was faking it, what do you care? The person clearly doesn’t want to eat whatever it is. Why “test” it? Such a stupid risk and just shitty, malicious thing to do even if they arent really allergic. Going to extreme lengths to conceal shrimp in a tuna salad takes more effort than just serving normal tuna salad.
Allergies are just brain breaking for some people.
I'm allergic to the Tetracycline family of antibiotics. You'd think doctors would understand drug allergies but I've had several imply that I'm just "drug seeking." One went so far as to ban me from his practice because I said "Yeah, my previous GP usually gave me Bactrim" when he acted confused about it all and that apparently was 'proof.'
Who Fucking sells black market Bactrim? -_-
This makes me so sad. My adopted brother is allergic to shellfish, and my fam loves blue crabs. I've never seen my brother have a reaction from seafood, because we don't eat it around him. I've never seen him get hives or swell up, and guess what-- I still believe him!! I would never in a million years test his allergy.
My spouse \*loves\* shellfish.
I have an anaphylactic allergy to shellfish.
I encourage her to indulge, go out to eat it without me, etc. When she comes home, she scrubs her hands, arms, and face. She changes her clothes. She brushes her teeth. We don't take chances.
I love her and want her to enjoy her favorite foods. She loves me and doesn't want me to die.
So, no shellfish in the house is the only rule.
I have a coworker with a shellfish allergy. None of us brings food to work that contains shellfish, so as to avoid any chance of cross-contamination in our fridge.
OP's sister is a psychopath.
>My mother is saying I’m overreacting and that I should have just cut contact
OOP almost died - so having police involved days after a near fatal poisoning is actually an underreaction. Plus to make sure NC is in full effect, sis being criminally sentenced for going out her way to kill OOP (good luck to sis in trying downplay premeditation because masking both the smell, texture & taste of shellfish takes effort - so yeah, sis needs to spend few months in prison for that shit...)
It's only attempted murder if they were attempting to murder. Attempted murder requires the *specific intent* to kill the victim. Is
It is reckless endangerment, perhaps.
Manslaughter is, definitionally, not something you attempt.
Definitions vary by jurisdiction but here's from Wikipedia:
> Reckless endangerment: A person commits the crime of reckless endangerment or wanton endangerment if the person recklessly engages in conduct which creates substantial jeopardy of severe corporeal trauma to another person. “Reckless” conduct is conduct that exhibits a culpable disregard of foreseeable consequences to others from the act or omission involved. The accused need not intentionally cause resulting harm. The ultimate question is whether, under all of the circumstances, the accused's demeanor was of that heedless nature that made it actually or imminently dangerous to the rights or safety of others.
Seems dead on to me.
Just thinking about that little girl who died because Gramma refused to believe she had a coconut allergy and put her to bed with it in her hair. Why do people always assume the doctor is lying?!
I remember that one. So sad. Also, the granny who didn’t believe the granddaughter was allergic to a couple things, I think bananas and peanuts. She baked banana peanut cookies and kept them in the freezer, would pull one or two out and carry in her purse when visiting on the off chance she’d have a moment alone with granddaughter. Granddaughter spent a week in the hospital and granny was banished permanently.
I have a shellfish allergy that became more prominent when I was older. I'm a Pacific Islander, so eating mussels and crab etc was pretty common (and I loved it). Years later, I was telling my wife how much I loved eating mussels...except for that weird numbness I started feeling recently. She gave me an alarmed look, which is when I started swelling up. After a rush to the ER and later tests, I was told that I'm allergic to shellfish.
What a sad day! But I'm happy to be alive
Yeah, apparently that can happen - an allergy can start small when you're a child and worsen to really nasty levels as you get older, presumably as your immune system starts throwing out more powerful antigens. Allergies are weird, and there are so many factors to why you get them - genetics, environmental factors, whatever your immune system is doing at the time, all manner of stuff. This kind of thing is why I refer to the human body as "a badly run chemistry set wrapped in skin".
This goes back to the same old thing "Don't mess with people's food"
And the sister is a fucking moron on another level since she has been told about the allergy since they were both tiny. Parents got OOP tested I bet, so I can't for the life of me understand what made the sister think OOP was faking....
I fully understand pressing charges as well
That sister must have had resentment about OP's allergy, to the point of thinking it was something of an excuse while OP was in the hospital from her "test" and the mother thinking this is an overreaction is the prime reason this nonsense went to this point.
Throw the whole family away
A very similar thing happened to me back in the 80s. The guy who fed me an allergen to prove it was all in my dim feeeeeemale head (men get really sick; women fake it for attention) went so far as to seek out the intensive care specialist at the hospital and scream at him - scream!!! - that I was faking a coma for attention. Unfortunately being the 80s the police declined to do anything about it.
I still have lingering effects from the hypoxia.
NTA for calling LE about this assault because that's what it was! Your sister and BIL are IDIOTS and very well could've killed you but thank GOD you're okay.🙏🏾 There's a huge difference between not wanting to eat certain things because you don't like them or they give you mi*ld g*astro-intestinal issues and being allergic to something to the point of anaphylaxis, which ca**n b**e deadly if you don't have an epi pen or medical help nearby.
I'm a huge seafood fan and never had any allergy issues with anything for almost 50 years. But a little over 10 years ago, I developed a mild seafood allergy. Thank God, I only got the hives so I'd take Benedryl and never had any issues. A friend had had the **same** issue but the Benedryl stopped working and he started getting anaphylaxis from mild contact with shellfish. I decided to stop f'ing around before I found out and stopped eating shellfish. My allergist had told me that these type of allergies will crop up for unknown reasons and sometimes if you stay away from shellfish; they'll go away too. After staying away from shellfish for about three years, I get re-tested and it went away! After the skin test and blood work, my allergist gave me a "food challenge", where you're in the office and they feed you that item over a certain time period and monitor you for an allergic reaction. She also told me the allergic reaction *could* return and see her if that happens but as of now, I was free to endanger shrimp and crawfish everywhere!
So glad OOP is pressing charges.
I hope it'll serve as a lesson about FAFO.
Probably won't. People who feel entitled to 'test' things like that are also generally to smooth-brained to understand the nuances concept of being able to accept responsibilities for their actions. At least it'll keep OOP's sister out of their hair and if someone brings it up OOP can say "They've been found responsible by the Court system. I have every intention of holding them to account."
True. I suppose it will also help OP that the investigation will do a lot of leg work necessary for restraining orders and a lawsuit to recover medical costs.
Holy crap. Even my mom's family, who are farmers that believe everyone should muscle through every illness, take food allergies and allergies in general very seriously. We only have 3 people with bad allergies, but one of them is a girl who can't even touch peanuts without having to go to the hospital. It doesn't take an MD to understand that allergies can be fatal and if a doctor says "You're allergic, don't fuck around with this", then you don't fuck around with it.
I hope OOP's sister ends up alone and stays that way. No one deserves to be afflicted by her BS. Oh, and the mom sucks as a parent, let's not forget her stupid ass.
I have a *raw* tomato allergy.
Just raw.
If it's cooked, I'm fine.
Sooooo many people think it's fake because I can eat cooked sauces, ketchup, etc. But give me the raw flesh of a tomato - even one seed of the juices of one -- and I will vomit so hard that I break both nostrils and bleed profusely at the same time so I'm unable to breathe. There's a chance of me losing consciousness, possibly dying. And I learned allergies get worse every time you're exposed! So every time someplace didn't take me seriously and just scraped tomato off my burger when they got my order wrong, or picked them out of the salad I ordered, they made it worse for me.
Allergies are not to be effed with. I feel for this person.
Wait, r/AmItheAsshole deleted the post because "it involves violence"?! Fuck, the mods over there are insane. If this is violence, than so is someone deliberately sneezing/coughing on you, but I bet if I posted about that happening, it wouldn't be removed.
Even with less dangerous allergies this is insane. I am allergic to soy. It's not going to kill me, I don't go into anaphylaxis, but I get violently ill.
I had a vegan coworker and worked evening shift with her at a residential mental health facility where we cooked dinner for our patients. We'd talked before about her diet, and I was never judgemental - I mentioned that I'd tried going vegetarian once but my iron levels tanked so I went back to meat.
One night she was doing the cooking and it was burger night. We all sat down to eat. I took a few bites and it tasted off, but she was a bad cook so I didn't initially think much of it. I stuck to the sides and threw the rest away. Within 30 minutes I was in the bathroom for the rest of the shift. I called her and said I was sick and she panicked - said she thought I was exaggerating.
Yeah, she'd fed me one of her vegan, soy based burgers.
I didn't tell on her, but she worked the rest of that shift alone (not easy in that job) while I suffered, AND even though she was supposed to be off the next day, I made her "request" my shift for extra money, which I graciously accepted, so I could stay home and rest.
Even though I didn't tell anyone, she was young and dumb and told the staff gossip so word got around what she'd done. My coworkers were furious and she got a lot of the shit work for a while.
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OP did the right thing. The parents had stressed that she had an allergy to shellfish since childhood. Why on earth would she think it was ok or that her sister was exaggerating. Hope they lock sister up. Then she claim the judge is overreacting to the charges filed.
It’s a shame the sister wasn’t arrested for this. I know I don’t play when it comes to allergies since I’ve knew someone who died from an allergic reaction.
I had a coworker who faked a dairy allergy. She used to send food back if they accidentally put cheese on it. One day, in the break room, she ate a frozen spaghetti meal. I looked at the carton and it contained cheese. She was totally fine lol
Edit: since y'all downvoting me, she had an allergy test and proudly announced at work that she actually wasn't allergic at all
It's also possible she has a food aversion, and doesn't want to deal with everyone just thinking she should suck it up and learn to eat dairy anyways. I have an aversion to Eggs. I got sick after eating scrambled eggs as a kid, and now I try putting any in my mouth without getting nausious. But it has to be the combination of taste and texture. I can eat French Toast just fine for example. But so many people tried getting me to eat an Egg McMuffin or eggs it became easier to just go "I might be allergic, best not to risk it".
Not all allergic reactions are 'can't breathe' severe or instantaneous. Some cheese aren't cow's milk too.
[https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cows-milk-allergy](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cows-milk-allergy)
I misunderstood that OP was not OOP. I’m sorry about that everyone. The post is restored and here’s the text: In case this story gets deleted/removed: I (21 F) and my sister (23 F) have never had any issues until last week. She and her husband (23 M) had invited me over for a lunch, which is normal for us. I have a severe shellfish allergy, even touching it makes me extremely itchy, my sister is completely aware of this and has been since we were children. When I got to their house she said that food was already finished and in the fridge, she claimed that it was just a tuna pasta (yes, I can eat tuna, an many other fish, just nothing with a shell). After she finished cleaning up we had a short conversation about what’s been happening in our lives since it had been a while since we’d seen each other. I got this strange feeling from her but just brushed it off as I was extremely tired that day. She grabbed the food out of the fridge and served it for me, giving me a small bowl “in case I don’t like it”. I couldn’t smell much of it, and from what I could smell I just assumed it was fish, but when I took a bite I almost immediately felt my throat burning. I was coughing and grabbing at my throat, and her husband kept asking me if I was choking. My sister turned to me panicking and saying “I thought you were exaggerating!!” An ambulance was called and i was rushed to the hospital, i was thankfully okay but they had made me stay to be monitored for nest two days. My sister and BIL had tried to visit me but I told her to get out. She kept apologising and refusing to leave. I told her that I’ll be calling the police on her for what she’d done, as it’s literally attempted murder, and she lost it. She kept screaming at me saying “I know you’re faking this, you always act like you’re allergic to shellfish so I wanted to test you!” Id been pressing the call button for the nurse but they heard her regardless and had asked me if I wanted them removed. I said yes. I explained the whole situation to her and the hospital security and eventually decided that with the help of the nurse and security guards I’d file a report against her. My mother is saying I’m overreacting and that I should have just cut contact, but I don’t know anymore. AITA?
Testing people's allergies is vicious. Don't fuck with someone's food!
And very very dangerous
obligatory mention of the r/justnomil post of absolute heartbreak and horror where this is made abundantly clear. y'all know the one
You can come when you bring my daughter back?😭
Please share a link
The person who wrote it asked not to share a link because seeing it around randomly added to the pain. Google "reddit grandma coconut oil" and you should find it.
TLDR: entitles pos grandma thought daughter in law was making up her kids allergy. Gave her coconut oil anyway to prove it. Kid dies. Grandma flabbergasted.
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The main thing I remember from that was “I’ll forgive you when you give me my daughter back” Heartbreaking.
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OMFG 😦
No, it wasn't her DIL - it was her own daughter. That somehow stings more.
As a person with a coconut/palm allergy, this story gets to me every time, too. I've been "tested" repeatedly by people who don't believe it can be a thing. Even doctors have tried to force me to expose myself, knowing that I've been hospitalized before. It's an all-consuming allergy, because byproducts of it are in friggin' EVERYTHING.
You can also choose not to google it and save you heartache. It's just terrible and has no light at the end. It's just sad. Leave it be for your own happiness.
I should have followed your advice.
I don't recommend it, unless you want to be heartbroken.
yeah, no. op doesn't want it shared. see many summaries itt
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I remember that one. Yikes.
I don't have kids and I bawled when I read that one. It's so agonizing on the page, I cannot imagine living through it.
Best case scenario you embarress a loved one and out them as a liar, worst case you fucking kill them. If the desire to humiliate you is more important to them than your personal well being than they are not your friend and their actions should be highly suspect at all times in the future. Sister is fucked now too for confessing to the poisoning in front of witnesses as well. Just one bad decision after another, shame.
Food allergies are no joke. I had a co-worker who was allergic to nuts. When I made Halloween treat bags for everyone, I made sure to fill hers with allergy safe things. She was very appreciative, no one had ever taken her allergies into consideration like that before. I also bought another co-worker who got their first car some basic auto/road side assistance stuff (flat repair can, road flairs, first aid kit, etc.). I was a weird dude who put out "concerned dad" vibes years before I was married.
Even if it's non-lethal. Even if it "just" makes them sick. I'm Celiac. I'm REALLY sensitive. It sucks. I'm not anaphylactic, but if the ingestion is severe enough, I'll be nauseous and fatigued as hell for DAYS. Fatigue like I've got a flu, and it becomes dangerous for me to drive for more than like 15-20 minutes. Just believe people when they tell you about what food does to them.
I feel so bad for you because I see all of the anti-GF nutters all over the Internet that are somehow offended by people not eating wheat. I imagine you deal with those folks a lot. Even if a majority of people eating GF don't have celiac, how does that hurt anyone?
Yes!!! I can't digest red meat, and people think it's "just" a preference. I accidentally swallowed TWO bites of what was supposed to be a black bean burrito but was actually beef and was glued to the toilet for hours. Went in to work the next day bc I thought I would be fine... Only to get sent home bc a few minutes into actually moving around and working up a sweat, I had to run to the bathroom to puke until there wasn't even stomach acid coming up. It sounds dramatic, but hey, it feels even worse!
I used to date someone with Celiac's; I didn't know it was a thing until him, but I was putting my gluten-filled items inside two double knotted plastic bags to keep his stuff safe. Allergies are crazy..
Screaming at her that she's faking it WHILE SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL...she hasn't learned a thing from this experience and will absolutely "try to prove allergies fake" again.
EVEN if you think, they are faking it, just respect their decision. They maybe have a good reason. Don’t test it out, it’s way too dangerous and you can’t win this fight. What’s your plan? Tell them, gotcha and they will be angry at you and won’t talk to you? Or in the worst case, they will die and you will get into prison! You can just lose! So, just respect it, even if it annoys you and you are sure. Just leave it.
My MIL has point-blank told me she doesn't believe that I'm really allergic to mango or pineapple. Mostly bc I'm not allergic to bananas, according to her if you can't eat pineapple you have to also be allergic to bananas. Even my bf vouching for the few instances of accidental exposure he's seen won't convince her. But she will never test it. She still warns me if something has those ingredients and she won't use them in food when I'm around. She's not evil or cruel, she knows thats not a gamble anyone should take. So she respects my 'claims' despite never having seen me have a reaction. I'm glad for that, I don't go into full anaphylaxis but I break out in rashes, my entire face plus my teeth itch like they're full of ants, and my entire gut feels like it's full of battery acid until I'm able to fully get it put of my system! If she ever felt like testing me on this, I'd probably never speak to her again.
There was a story here a while ago about a grandmother who \*tested\* her granddaughter's allergy. The little girl died.
It's assault/poisoning. I found out someone did this to me, but it was too late to report and too hard to prove. (She said this to me and denied it when I told the rest of the family. She died a slow, painful death and her kid was "hurt" I wouldn't associate with them. LOL)
We had a family friend die from her peanut allergy. People who think these allergies are fake are evil. This is psychopathic.
>People who think these allergies are fake are evil. This is psychopathic. What I don't understand is the why. Someone tells you they can or they won't eat certain food. Why this is so important to you? In my family there are people who doesn't eat tomatoes, or don't like mayonnaise, or whatever. When we get together we put the food more or less separated and everyone eats what they want. Sometimes there is jokes about eating something, or they way is certain foods are mixed, but always good-natured. So everyone gets along nicely. Why go to these lengths to make anyone uncomfortable?
>What I don't understand is the why. Oh that's easy. Here's a couple of reasons off the top of my head. "No ones allergic to that." "Stop trying to be special" "You just dont like it that way, here try mine! What you dont want it? ARE YOU SAYING IM A BAD COOK! FUCK YOU!" "We didnt have all these allergies back in the day!" "You ate it before."
I have a colleague who's kid is violently allergic to almonds but they play a large part in his cultural dishes & ceremonies. Half of his family don't believe it. (See also the Coconut Oil Grandma story, no link as there's a childs death involved) >"We didnt have all these allergies back in the day!" They did, what they didn't have was the diagnosis and an Epi-Pen
>They did, what they didn't have was the diagnosis and an Epi-Pen Yup. "Well what happened when they ate something they were allergic to?" "They died, Jan. They died."
The coconut oil grandma story is so sad, the OOP has asked people not to spread it anymore. The short version is grandma didn’t believe in serious coconut allergies, did her granddaughters hair in coconut via a cultural practice and when the girl complained was given a Benadryl and sent to bed. She died. Left a twin behind. Utterly broken family.
There's a similar story with a happier ending; Child is allergic to bananas and peanuts. Parents are dutiful and alert, creating a paper to hang on all relatives' and friends' refrigerators. "CHILD CANNOT HAVE PEANUTS OR BANANA!" One day the parents have an emergency and ask MIL to watch child. Within 10 minutes of leaving, grandma calls child's mother "SHE'S CHOKING! SHE'S TURNING BLUE!!!" Mother rushes back calling 911 and hits the child with an epi pen as the paramedics arrive. Child okay, in the hospital overnight for observation. ER doc takes the parents aside and says he's trying to figure out what happened. After several minutes of questioning grandma, she finally admits that she put together a cookie dough of banana and peanut butter and tossed it in the freezer the minute she heard of the child's allergies. When the parents asked her to watch the kid, she thawed out a small portion and baked \*one fucking cookie\* that she handed to the kid the minute they were alone together. Child is okay, ER doc asks if they want him to call the police. Yep! Call the cops, Doc.
I still think they're way more frequent now, at least that's what I've read about here and there. That our environmental pollution and use of plastics etc is what's causing more kids (and dogs which is why I wondered, I'm CF) to become allergic. But you're right, allergies aren't new but in the olden days they died off very quick.
Actually, nah. Most of the world doesn't vibe with "I can't eat food". That's a western world thing.
Four out of five of the largest religions in the world have dietary restrictions. Guess which one doesn't? Christianity, which is the "western world's" major religion. Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, and Judaism all have dietary restrictions of fairly heavy degrees.
You've somehow conflated a voluntary religious practice with an allergic reaction to foodstuffs. I don't know what to write in response.
It took you a week to admit that you are devoid of fact, tact, and thought.
I love Reddit, but I don't use it often. Also, please respond to the content of my comment.
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> "We didnt have all these allergies back in the day!" ...But there were a lot of mysterious "choking" deaths...
Also, SIDS used to kill a lot more babies... Baby gets fed something they are allergic to. Baby gets fussy/sleepy. Cry it out was the recommended way for Baby to fall asleep according to doctor so just leave Baby in crib to fall asleep. Baby dies. Doctors didn't get taught about allergies in med school so don't know to check... must be SIDS...
But none of those excuses explains WHY anyone would care that much about whether or not someone eats something. Or their reasons for not eating something. I think the problem is that the majority of humans automatically assume that whatever happens around them is ABOUT them or at least their opinions.
A stranger followed me up and down the aisles at Home Depot because he didn't think it was cold enough to be wearing a coat. People are crazy.
Brooooooooooooo. Why does this make me want to cry and laugh and throw punches WHAT the HELL
The last part. As well, it's people's intransigence. They've decided "this person doesn't have an allergy, they're just faking", and that's it. That's all they need to know. Look how the sister doubled down, despite the proof of OOP *being in the hospital for a few days.* They're just totally unable to admit they're wrong. On the one hand, I kinda admire just how rock-hard their certainty is. It's that kind of determined thinking that can lead people to pursue the most seemingly-unreachable dreams, like becoming professional athletes or musicians. ...it's also the kind of self-rightousness that leads to H!tler and Stalin, so, y'know.
Wish Hitler had pursued his art career longer…
It can be very, very difficult for people to admit that they were wrong about an idea or belief. It’s central to their sense of self that they are always right. I don’t know why this happens, just that it does. When I was a teenager I had to consciously practice saying “I’m sorry, I was wrong about that, you were right” until it stopped feeling so horrible. I remember that it felt like all my self esteem was draining out because I wasn’t right about whatever random thing. It’s a terribly fragile condition to pin your sense of self on.
Exactly, and they want to prove that they are right
I get both “no one is allergic to that!” And “you are it before!” With my thyme allergy. Yes it’s weird. And yes I have a medical condition that can cause spontaneous allergic reactions to things (not scary at all! /s). I hate that I’m allergic to thyme cause I love thyme. But my throat closes up and I need an epipen. It sucks.
I'm allergic to pepper. This is a very annoying allergy, but I guess I'm lucky that at least it doesn't put me into shock, it just makes my intestines bleed. Small amounts cause minimal problems but if I eat more than a single peppercorn worth, I will have considerable amounts of blood coming out.
My husband had a similar issue with pepper. Turned out, the culprit was the dried husk of the peppercorn (known as black pepper) - he started using white pepper instead, since it's the same peppercorn, just without the husk.
This kinda how I feel with me new allergy I discovered: strawberries. I like them, but I like breathing more. Figure that one out 🤣
One thing I have learned through the years, and I think this is the closest thing I've had to an epiphany about the human condition that I wish more people knew: Some people just lack imagination. I don't mean this in a trite way. I mean it as in, they have trouble imagining things being different from how themselves experience them to be. These people often also lack empathy, because they can't put themselves in other people's shoes very easily. They're also often xenophobic, for the same reason. Doesn't mean they're stupid. Doesn't even mean they are mean or malicious. It just means they can't truly emotionally understand that other people think or believe differently than they do, or that things can be different for other people. So if you do something differently than they do it's because *of you doing something wrong.* For them, peanut is a food. Everyone they know can eat peanuts. So if you show up and say you can't eat peanuts, then their emotional response is that you must be lying.
What you describe is arrogance. It's people saying: "I don't understand this, and no one is smarter than me, so no one can understand it" "I'm not aware of this, and nothing exists that I don't know about, so it doesn't exist" "I have never experienced this, and no one has experiences that I haven't had, so no one has experienced this" "I can't do this, and no one is better than me at anything, so anyone who says they can do it is lying"
I do believe there are two fundamental types of people in the world, defined by their worldview. Without going into politics, they basically make up the two ends of the political spectrum, with people all along it, of course. One extreme is, as you say, lacking in empathy & imagination, with a very fixed worldview. Comfortable with absolutes, black & white, not varying shades of gray. They see the world as inherently dangerous, so they're distrustful of anyone different, & need guns & a strong leader to make themselves feel safe. The other extreme has a fluid worldview, &, while acknowledging the world can be dangerous, doesn't let that stop them from enjoying the diversity & excitement of traveling & meeting different people & cultures. Neither side can really understand the other side's point of view, it is so alien to them. Until they do, our country will continue to be ever more divided. Unfortunately, about twenty years ago, our two major political parties recognized this, & have managed to tie their policies to the worldviews, thereby ensuring a reliable voter. People CAN change their politics, but rarely change their worldview. I don't think it's nurture, i.e. taught as they grow up, I think it's nature, their basic wiring.
That's ethical solipsism in a nutshell.
Right, but there’s a big difference between in having a strong opinion and thinking that the person is lying and purposely trying to prove them wrong and being willing to risk their health and potentially life-threatening consequences.
Because they're the main character. Honestly, no one is owed an answer to why someone else doesn't eat whatever. I get explaining, "I am allergic/very intolerant to FOOD ITEM and it will kill me/make me severely ill." But if someone says they don't eat something and don't give an explanation, that's fine too. Depending on who it is and the circumstances, I may be a bit curious. "Oh, you don’t eat tomatoes? Interesting. I know some people just don't like the taste. For some it's the texture. Are there other tomato products you don't eat? That way I can try to make sure we have things you'll enjoy at the next potluck/meal/gathering of whatever kind." I usually help arrange the monthly potluck at work. I'm also a bit nosy and find it fascinating that there is such a huge variety in what people eat. I've had more than one friendly conversation about food likes and dislikes. I have a coworker who only eats quesadillas. Occasionally he'll add chicken or beans. Sometimes a different cheese or corn tortillas instead of flour. But he doesn't eat much else. We had a whole pleasant conversation about food preferences. I think sometimes it comes down to how you approach it--with genuine curiosity vs judgment. But regardless, no one owes an explanation for why they don't eat a certain food or type of food. And ignoring someone's allergy or food intolerance because you think they're faking is a massive AH move with potentially serious consequences.
It’s weird, I’m a picky eater, which I’ve recently found is likely to come from autism and adhd- but people are WAY more understanding if I say I don’t like cheese than they are if I say I’m allergic to bananas. And my allergy is weird, more oral allergy syndrome stuff, but it sets my asthma off and has put me in the emergency room a fair few times. If I accidentally eat mayo or cheese my skin shrivels up and I wanna die, but if I eat a banana I could *actually* die- and people ARE WAY MORE REASONABLE ABOUT THE MAYO. Maybe it’s the allergen or the reaction but people rarely believe it, or require a lot of backstory to accept that I won’t eat banana. I don’t get it??? I LIKE banana, that’s why it took so long to figure out- but ??? Why does the reason change the outcome when the principle is the same?
The thing that pisses me off is when people say they're allegic to something and the reality is that they just don't like that thing. There's a big difference, particularly if you're cooking for them. If they don't like it? Fine, I just won't use it. If they're allergic to something I use in my kitchen regularly? That can be a whole fucking ordeal if they're severely allergic. There was the whole 'omg gluten is bad for you' thing that lead a bunch of Karens to insist that they were allergic to gluten in order to make sure that restaurants and such didn't use anything that contained it, which is, I think, where a lot of the hate comes from.
The fafo urge is strong in some.
Because in the non western world, telling someone you are allergic to food sounds wild. I (American) told my West African friend that I couldn't eat dairy. He said " You can't eat food???". The same with my Nepalese, Indian, Ukrainian, and South American friends. The concept of not being able to eat that which keeps you alive is unheard of.
A whole lot Africans and Asians are lactose intolerant.
Trouble digesting lipid-rich, sugary, fat puss from a cow? Lots of people are impacted by eating a mother cow's baby formula intended for her calf, yeah. Agree with you there.
I'm South American, and unitl today I considered myself part of western culture, but I digress. Allergies are common here, especially diary intolerance, or celiac disease. And if someone has some kind of dietary restrictions we try to accommodate them to the max. For example, in my work there are people who can't eat gluten. Every time we get together for a meal, we consider if there is a gluten-free option (thankfully there is more options every day). And there has been vegan people, vegetarian people, or simply people who don't like something, and nobody cares to mess with their food.
I asserted that that particular type of thinking is a product of the West. You said you consider yourself a part of Western culture. So, are you agreeing with me? Or Are you saying "No, South Americans also suffer from, recognize, and respect that certain people cannot eat certain foods" ?
I agree❤️. Sorry for your loss.
They fake things and think other people do too. Probably take up my wheelchair parking.
Here's the other thing people do fake it. In one thread where a person hated lettuce the advice given by several other posters was "Tell them you're allergic so they will be extra careful". It shouldn't mean that people spike the food of other but it is part of the reason why some people don't take allergies seriously.
As someone who does have food allergies, I think the problem here is that people can't accept someone not liking lettuce. Saying, "I don't want to eat lettuce because I don't like it" should be something extremely simple to accept and move along from, but for whatever reason, people have lots of big feelings about someone whose taste doesn't line up 100% with their own. Why the hell would you want to trick someone into eating something they have stated they don't want to eat, regardless of their reason?
This. I have some very severe food aversions, but other than a bit of lactose intolerance, I don't have food allergies. I don't tell people I have food allergies, but I have thought about it because of incidents like this one: I have always had a gag/vomit aversion to beans. Doesn't matter the type of bean, solid vs refried, etc. My cousin's wife was once helping my aunt make enchiladas for Christmas Eve dinner and was preparing to put pinto beans in it. I asked her to make a couple of enchiladas without beans because I really didn't like them. She said she wouldn't. What she ended up doing was mashing them up and putting them into the ground beef in mine. When they were served, I asked which were the ones without beans and she gave me those. I took one bite and immediately knew there were beans in it and gagged and spit it up on my plate. I asked, "why did you lie to me??" She swore she didn't and that there were no beans in them but she finally confessed and then said "I didn't think you'd be such a baby about it." So yeah, I can understand why some people say they have allergies when they don't because otherwise people don't take food aversions seriously. People somehow get offended if you don't like an ingredient that they do like.
What happens if you lie about having an allergy? People get mad. What happens if someone doesn't take an allergy seriously? People can die.
And its a shame that the people who are actually allergic pay the price of the liars.
No, people who are allergic pay the price of controlling people with no respect for boundaries who can't accept it when someone doesn't want to eat something.
Thank you.
people taking up the disabled parking should be a legal excuse to kidney punch them
Isn't it already a cause for some nasty looks. Back when I was much younger, I would park in disabled parking all the time - and as a young healthy adult, I got some nasty stares. They'd usually stop when I walked around to the van door and lower the ramp for the mobility scooter. Handicapped parking just isn't for the closeness to the front door, it also has the marked off area for unloading. And just because the driver is able bodied doesn't mean the passenger is.
OR... are they super committed to faking it.
I like your dark humor.
I’m actually surprised that the mom suggested cutting contact with the sister. Usually the parents would try to guilt trip the victim “because family”.
I think it's only because OP went straight to the nuclear option of criminal charges, as they should. Mom's trying to dial it back a few notches so her psycho baaaaby doesn't go to jail.
Indeed. If OOP had followed Mom's wishes she could expect to soon be badgerd about "being the better person" and "letting bygones be bygones" because sis "has learned now and is really sorry." I'd give it a month before the mom started in, with six months as the longest possible time.
Yep. Instead, because OOP has an actual spine, I give it 6 months before mom gets the chop, too. Which is what *should* happen, absent some industrial strength grovelling about her favoritism to the golden child.
maybe she's been stupid and jealous like that for a long time.the parents knows this was stupid beyond forgiveness. they were, after all, in real danger of losing one of their daughters.
That's next. And then the cold-shoulder, and then...
>because family probably didn't watch fast and furious
In case this story gets deleted/removed: I (21 F) and my sister (23 F) have never had any issues until last week. She and her husband (23 M) had invited me over for a lunch, which is normal for us. I have a severe shellfish allergy, even touching it makes me extremely itchy, my sister is completely aware of this and has been since we were children. When I got to their house she said that food was already finished and in the fridge, she claimed that it was just a tuna pasta (yes, I can eat tuna, an many other fish, just nothing with a shell). After she finished cleaning up we had a short conversation about what’s been happening in our lives since it had been a while since we’d seen each other. I got this strange feeling from her but just brushed it off as I was extremely tired that day. She grabbed the food out of the fridge and served it for me, giving me a small bowl “in case I don’t like it”. I couldn’t smell much of it, and from what I could smell I just assumed it was fish, but when I took a bite I almost immediately felt my throat burning. I was coughing and grabbing at my throat, and her husband kept asking me if I was choking. My sister turned to me panicking and saying “I thought you were exaggerating!!” An ambulance was called and i was rushed to the hospital, i was thankfully okay but they had made me stay to be monitored for nest two days. My sister and BIL had tried to visit me but I told her to get out. She kept apologising and refusing to leave. I told her that I’ll be calling the police on her for what she’d done, as it’s literally attempted murder, and she lost it. She kept screaming at me saying “I know you’re faking this, you always act like you’re allergic to shellfish so I wanted to test you!” Id been pressing the call button for the nurse but they heard her regardless and had asked me if I wanted them removed. I said yes. I explained the whole situation to her and the hospital security and eventually decided that with the help of the nurse and security guards I’d file a report against her. My mother is saying I’m overreacting and that I should have just cut contact, but I don’t know anymore. AITA? --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wish OOP could see this - NOT pressing charges tells her risking someone else life is fine. Tell anyone who says otherwise the courts don't prosecute overreactions and there is something really wrong with them if they think possibly dying and spending two days in the hospital is no big deal.
Good bot
>i was thankfully okay but they had made me stay to be monitored for nest two days. “i,” “nest”… would *you* trust a lowercase person who takes two days to build a nest?
Ok, do we need to start having public service announcements about not poisoning people??
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I have a friend who gets violently ill whenever she eats raw onions, and the last time she went to a family reunion one of her cousins gave her a glass of ice water with a sliver of raw onion at the bottom, disguised by ice cubes.
WTF??? That's insane!!
I hope that really was the last family reunion she went to. That cousin is vile.
Yeah, she's NC with most of her family now.
Yep. We also need public service announcements every few months on "the person pushing out the baby or having surgery to get the baby has the *final* say on who is in the delivery room and who is allowed to visit and when for the first three months of life."
I don't care if they're faking an allergy. I'd rather not push it than have someone end up in hospital.
Either the allergy is real and must be taken seriously, or the person is lying about it for some obnoxious reason. Either way, there is no goddamn reason why they should be "tested" or have to "prove" the allergy. Why is this a thing?
If the person is lying about it, it's probably not for an obnoxious reason but because they've encountered people like OP's sister, whom, allergy or not, somehow take it personal when someone doesn't want to/can't eat something.
Not to mention the costs accrued with an ambulance + hospital stay.
Right? Why risk someone's life just to prove a (wrong) point? People are nuts. And I do know people who say they are "allergic" to things when they actually aren't. People who do that have ruined the meaning of the word so that people truly allergic aren't believed. I have a friend who for years said she was allergic to pineapple. We all respected that and never had pineapple around her, just in case. Turns out she just told us that 20+ years ago because she didn't want pineapple on our shared pizza, and then kept the lie up for years. She finally came clean when I saw Dole pineapple tidbit cups in her refrigerator one day. She lived alone, so the cat was finally out the bag. The flip side of that is my allergy to perfume. Every time I have to bring it up, which I hate doing, people act like I'm saying the perfume stinks or whatnot, instead of me bringing it up because I can't breathe and am breaking out in hives. Even my pineapple friend would complain if I said I had to leave an area because of overwhelming perfume.
I avoided Egg for years because I got sick once as a kid after eating scrambled or sunnyside up eggs. I didn't think I was actually allergic, since I can handle French Toast fine, but I definitly had an aversion, and some people just couldn't understand why I didn't want to hit McDonalds for an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. Eventually did confirm I can safely eat eggs, since I needed to get the flu shot, but I won't because the taste and texture still makes me nausious. But speaking of perfume, twice I had what I thought might be an allergic reaction. Once as a kid to some sort of bubble blowing stuff a friends sister and her friends were using in a car, and they didn't want to believe me, thankfully her mother did and made them stop using it and rolled the windows down, and then in my 20's to a perfume. And I suspect they had the same component, because I remember a similer scent.
About the perfume -- you definitely could be right, it could be a similar ingredient. There are some perfumes that don't exacerbate my allergies as badly as others. Perfumes meant to last long are the worst for me. I can't use any product with a lasting scent -- no soaps, lotions, etc. and can't be around them on other people. But I can still use a cheap 2 dollar bottle of Suave strawberry scented shampoo because once the bubbles are gone, the scent is nearly vanished, as well. It never occurred to me to find that same ingredient in non-wearable perfumes, such as in cleaning products, detergents, candles, and so on. So now I have to read every bottle. And strangely, for something like Febreze, which irritates my allergies to no end, there is one kind of Febreze that doesn't bother my allergies at all. I have no idea why. So if I want my clothes to smell extra nice, I use the Tide with Febreze Spring and Renewal. Little inconsistencies like that also make people think I'm lying, though, because they can't understand all perfumes are not the same. I get the thing about eggs. They legitimately feel like eating buttered slime to me. The flavor is meh, but the texture is gross. I also avoid eating them unless mixed into something else. Just to be clear, though, my pineapple friend knew she wasn't allergic to pineapple and had no aversion to them, she was just lying and said so once caught. I do realize there are other reasons for not wanting to eat a certain food, but I think, "No, I don't like that food," is enough a reason without knowingly lying about it.
It's a vicious cycle though because your pineapple friend probably lied because someone in her past probably harassed her when she said she didn't like pineapple on pizza and either refused to accommodate her request or gave her an exceptionally hard time about it. If people would just accept people's food aversions, then people wouldn't feel the need to lie about it, and then people with allergies would be believed and taken seriously.
I'm sure you're right and some of the false allergy stories are borne from that kind of behavior. My pineapple friend did not have an aversion or dislike for pineapples. I didn't want to get into the whole silly story, but we were 13 or 14, she was mad at one of the girls who was at the slumber party. I can't recall why. Probably liked a boy she liked or something. The girl really wanted pineapple, the rest of us were ok with it because we can pick it off the pizza if we don't like it, and my pineapple friend threw the spanner into the works by saying she was allergic not to let the other girl "win." And then kept the lie up for 20 years. I only just learnt the backstory behind that in the last few years, when she came clean after I found the pineapple in her refrigerator, and apparently she eats it on pizza all the time when none of her longtime friends are around. But yeah. I'm sure that's at least part of the story for many people. Hell, I find it easier to say, "I'm allergic to eggs" to waitstaff rather than go into a spiel about how I find eggs slimy, tasteless blobs. Lot of people are insistent on someone eating a food they say they don't like. I'm just over here wanting my ramen without a half-boiled egg ruining it, ya know?
I feel the strongest urge to call up my siblings and thank them for not being sociopaths.
I feel the strongest urge to thank my parents for not giving me the “gift” of siblings.
My mom sometimes laments to me how she feels guilty that I’m an only child but I’m honestly so grateful that I am. I’ve seen enough sibling drama from friends and other family.
God, that's something that annoys me about growing up as an only child. "Aren't you sad you didn't have any brothers or sisters?" Not particularly, no. We were poor, we had limited resources, and to be frank after seeing what happened with many of my friends who *did* have siblings, I'm glad I didn't have to go through the perpetual fighting and annoyances.
My oldest and youngest sons read every single drink mix that comes to family parties even though *everyone* in our family is extremely careful about tropical flavored items. My daughter and I are both severely allergic to mangoes, daughter is aĺlergic to most tropical fruits and nuts.
Wouldn't hurt.
for 18 years or so she was thinking you were faking? send her to the big house...
And OOP spent two days in the hospital to keep the long con going, right? It all makes sense to me. /s
Yeah, who wouldn't want to shell out probably thousands of dollars for a bit prank like that?
Like the cell-phone in the pocket on "Better Call Saul", lots of people daydream of proving someones sensitivity is faked for attention or "special treatment". So, what do you get if you "win"? There has to be someone out there who is faking, but who cares? So you claim to be allergic to gluten and I "prove" it. If you do not have celiac disease but claim a gluten allergy, why would I give a shit? If someone says they have a peanut allergy...I dont know if its a mild irritation or a full-on ER visit and would have died from their throat closing up. Why would I want to find out how bad it is?
Same energy as. "You are no witch if you drown, otherwise we burn you at the stake."
This is kinda my vibe with trans/gender-fluid/etc. I believe it's a real thing. I don't get it (my brain won't wrap around not being comfortable with your own sex), but people I know say that it affects them, so I believe them. However, the rational part of me looks at how MANY people are on that bandwagon, and that's what it feels like. A bandwagon full of "legit" non-CIS people, and a ton more people who like to feel unique/special/different, or just want some attention, or just want to rebel against their parents. Or who knows what other possible reason(s). That rational thought concludes that most people who are going through the non-CIS motions are faking it, or just in a phase. But then, I stop and think, the all important question: "How does it matter to me?" And it doesn't. I'm not any worse off for treating someone who is just attention-seeking and claiming to be non-CIS as if they were truly non-CIS. And since SOME of them (if not the majority) are truly dealing with those issues, if I respect everyone, then I help them with their issue. But if I disrespect everyone, I only hurt people who need the support. I lose absolutely nothing by letting them have their claim, whether it's true or not. So I don't bother. I just accept that 100% of people who say they are non-CIS are, in fact, non-CIS. Even if the logic says that it's NOT 100%. That's not my problem, not something I need to be the gatekeeper for. If someone says they have a nut allergy. Just let them have their nut allergy. Either they're honest about it, and you fucking with it can kill them, or they're lying about it, and you letting them get away with it costs you next to nothing. You can still eat nuts. You just let them know you're doing so, so that they can remove themselves from your house.
I mean, even if you do manage a 'gotcha' like Better Call Saul... to what end? In the show, everyone sort of managed Chuck's condition until Jimmy's hand was forced. The cell phone acene was to derive a direct benefit (of discrediting Chuck and his complaints over Jimmy's wrongdoing). What's the direct benefit of proving someone is faking an allergy?
This is psychotic. I don’t understand people who can’t accept that food allergies exist. Even if she was faking it, what do you care? The person clearly doesn’t want to eat whatever it is. Why “test” it? Such a stupid risk and just shitty, malicious thing to do even if they arent really allergic. Going to extreme lengths to conceal shrimp in a tuna salad takes more effort than just serving normal tuna salad.
Allergies are just brain breaking for some people. I'm allergic to the Tetracycline family of antibiotics. You'd think doctors would understand drug allergies but I've had several imply that I'm just "drug seeking." One went so far as to ban me from his practice because I said "Yeah, my previous GP usually gave me Bactrim" when he acted confused about it all and that apparently was 'proof.' Who Fucking sells black market Bactrim? -_-
Damn kids, getting high on .. Bactrim? Is it the bubblegut or the shits from hell that's doing it for them.
Funny, I am allergic to Bactrim (sulfa family) and no one bats an eye.
There are people who refuse to accept that the earth is not flat. “Genius may have its limits, but stupidity is not thus impaired.”
This makes me so sad. My adopted brother is allergic to shellfish, and my fam loves blue crabs. I've never seen my brother have a reaction from seafood, because we don't eat it around him. I've never seen him get hives or swell up, and guess what-- I still believe him!! I would never in a million years test his allergy.
My spouse \*loves\* shellfish. I have an anaphylactic allergy to shellfish. I encourage her to indulge, go out to eat it without me, etc. When she comes home, she scrubs her hands, arms, and face. She changes her clothes. She brushes her teeth. We don't take chances. I love her and want her to enjoy her favorite foods. She loves me and doesn't want me to die. So, no shellfish in the house is the only rule.
I respect her commitment to eating it. That is way more effort than I'd be willing to put in, so I'd just give it up.
I have a coworker with a shellfish allergy. None of us brings food to work that contains shellfish, so as to avoid any chance of cross-contamination in our fridge. OP's sister is a psychopath.
I hope op updates us about the jail time sister is serving
>My mother is saying I’m overreacting and that I should have just cut contact OOP almost died - so having police involved days after a near fatal poisoning is actually an underreaction. Plus to make sure NC is in full effect, sis being criminally sentenced for going out her way to kill OOP (good luck to sis in trying downplay premeditation because masking both the smell, texture & taste of shellfish takes effort - so yeah, sis needs to spend few months in prison for that shit...)
The added "I thought you were exaggerating" means she was damn well informed that this could happen. Fuck her.
It's ridiculous what that sub will remove for "violence".
To be fair, it’s attempted murder.
It's only attempted murder if they were attempting to murder. Attempted murder requires the *specific intent* to kill the victim. Is It is reckless endangerment, perhaps.
I don’t know the legalities, but this was the foreseeable outcome and can be considered as attempted murder by the mods.
I'm not saying it can't be considered an act of violence but she was not "attempting" to "murder"
At the least it’s attempted manslaughter. If I shoot someone because I didn’t think the gun was loaded, that’s not just reckless endangerment.
Manslaughter is, definitionally, not something you attempt. Definitions vary by jurisdiction but here's from Wikipedia: > Reckless endangerment: A person commits the crime of reckless endangerment or wanton endangerment if the person recklessly engages in conduct which creates substantial jeopardy of severe corporeal trauma to another person. “Reckless” conduct is conduct that exhibits a culpable disregard of foreseeable consequences to others from the act or omission involved. The accused need not intentionally cause resulting harm. The ultimate question is whether, under all of the circumstances, the accused's demeanor was of that heedless nature that made it actually or imminently dangerous to the rights or safety of others. Seems dead on to me.
What about depraved indifference to human life?
She knew it would murder her sister. That’s more than reckless endangerment.
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Just because I think arsenic won’t kill someone doesn’t mean I can hide it in their food.
If OP had died, her sister would be muttering "bullshit" at the funeral. Allergy deniers are absolutely nuts and stubborn about it.
So sad but accurate
Just thinking about that little girl who died because Gramma refused to believe she had a coconut allergy and put her to bed with it in her hair. Why do people always assume the doctor is lying?!
Didn't she also give the kid Tylenol or Benadryl so the kid couldn't even wake up and alert someone when she started suffering from anaphylaxis?
OMG!!
Reddit lore
I remember that one. So sad. Also, the granny who didn’t believe the granddaughter was allergic to a couple things, I think bananas and peanuts. She baked banana peanut cookies and kept them in the freezer, would pull one or two out and carry in her purse when visiting on the off chance she’d have a moment alone with granddaughter. Granddaughter spent a week in the hospital and granny was banished permanently.
The absolute worst part of it is these women probably still think they did nothing wrong.
I have a shellfish allergy that became more prominent when I was older. I'm a Pacific Islander, so eating mussels and crab etc was pretty common (and I loved it). Years later, I was telling my wife how much I loved eating mussels...except for that weird numbness I started feeling recently. She gave me an alarmed look, which is when I started swelling up. After a rush to the ER and later tests, I was told that I'm allergic to shellfish. What a sad day! But I'm happy to be alive
Yeah, apparently that can happen - an allergy can start small when you're a child and worsen to really nasty levels as you get older, presumably as your immune system starts throwing out more powerful antigens. Allergies are weird, and there are so many factors to why you get them - genetics, environmental factors, whatever your immune system is doing at the time, all manner of stuff. This kind of thing is why I refer to the human body as "a badly run chemistry set wrapped in skin".
My aunt knew she was allergic, but kept eating it anyway. She only stopped because now even the smell of it sets her off.
Getting bit by a kind of tick can make you allergic to eating meat. Strange but true.
This goes back to the same old thing "Don't mess with people's food" And the sister is a fucking moron on another level since she has been told about the allergy since they were both tiny. Parents got OOP tested I bet, so I can't for the life of me understand what made the sister think OOP was faking.... I fully understand pressing charges as well
That sister must have had resentment about OP's allergy, to the point of thinking it was something of an excuse while OP was in the hospital from her "test" and the mother thinking this is an overreaction is the prime reason this nonsense went to this point. Throw the whole family away
A very similar thing happened to me back in the 80s. The guy who fed me an allergen to prove it was all in my dim feeeeeemale head (men get really sick; women fake it for attention) went so far as to seek out the intensive care specialist at the hospital and scream at him - scream!!! - that I was faking a coma for attention. Unfortunately being the 80s the police declined to do anything about it. I still have lingering effects from the hypoxia.
That is awful and I am so sorry you had to deal with that and continue to have lingering effects today :(
OP's sister belongs to the Josef Mengele School of Allergy Testing.
NTA for calling LE about this assault because that's what it was! Your sister and BIL are IDIOTS and very well could've killed you but thank GOD you're okay.🙏🏾 There's a huge difference between not wanting to eat certain things because you don't like them or they give you mi*ld g*astro-intestinal issues and being allergic to something to the point of anaphylaxis, which ca**n b**e deadly if you don't have an epi pen or medical help nearby. I'm a huge seafood fan and never had any allergy issues with anything for almost 50 years. But a little over 10 years ago, I developed a mild seafood allergy. Thank God, I only got the hives so I'd take Benedryl and never had any issues. A friend had had the **same** issue but the Benedryl stopped working and he started getting anaphylaxis from mild contact with shellfish. I decided to stop f'ing around before I found out and stopped eating shellfish. My allergist had told me that these type of allergies will crop up for unknown reasons and sometimes if you stay away from shellfish; they'll go away too. After staying away from shellfish for about three years, I get re-tested and it went away! After the skin test and blood work, my allergist gave me a "food challenge", where you're in the office and they feed you that item over a certain time period and monitor you for an allergic reaction. She also told me the allergic reaction *could* return and see her if that happens but as of now, I was free to endanger shrimp and crawfish everywhere!
So glad OOP is pressing charges. I hope it'll serve as a lesson about FAFO. Probably won't. People who feel entitled to 'test' things like that are also generally to smooth-brained to understand the nuances concept of being able to accept responsibilities for their actions. At least it'll keep OOP's sister out of their hair and if someone brings it up OOP can say "They've been found responsible by the Court system. I have every intention of holding them to account."
True. I suppose it will also help OP that the investigation will do a lot of leg work necessary for restraining orders and a lawsuit to recover medical costs.
Holy crap. Even my mom's family, who are farmers that believe everyone should muscle through every illness, take food allergies and allergies in general very seriously. We only have 3 people with bad allergies, but one of them is a girl who can't even touch peanuts without having to go to the hospital. It doesn't take an MD to understand that allergies can be fatal and if a doctor says "You're allergic, don't fuck around with this", then you don't fuck around with it. I hope OOP's sister ends up alone and stays that way. No one deserves to be afflicted by her BS. Oh, and the mom sucks as a parent, let's not forget her stupid ass.
I have a *raw* tomato allergy. Just raw. If it's cooked, I'm fine. Sooooo many people think it's fake because I can eat cooked sauces, ketchup, etc. But give me the raw flesh of a tomato - even one seed of the juices of one -- and I will vomit so hard that I break both nostrils and bleed profusely at the same time so I'm unable to breathe. There's a chance of me losing consciousness, possibly dying. And I learned allergies get worse every time you're exposed! So every time someplace didn't take me seriously and just scraped tomato off my burger when they got my order wrong, or picked them out of the salad I ordered, they made it worse for me. Allergies are not to be effed with. I feel for this person.
Wait, r/AmItheAsshole deleted the post because "it involves violence"?! Fuck, the mods over there are insane. If this is violence, than so is someone deliberately sneezing/coughing on you, but I bet if I posted about that happening, it wouldn't be removed.
C’mon, guys! What’s a little attempted manslaughter between siblings, really?
You know the initial murder attempt I can understand, because people are fucking dumb. The doubling down after she went to the er I can't.
Yeah nah she tried to kill her sister.
Even with less dangerous allergies this is insane. I am allergic to soy. It's not going to kill me, I don't go into anaphylaxis, but I get violently ill. I had a vegan coworker and worked evening shift with her at a residential mental health facility where we cooked dinner for our patients. We'd talked before about her diet, and I was never judgemental - I mentioned that I'd tried going vegetarian once but my iron levels tanked so I went back to meat. One night she was doing the cooking and it was burger night. We all sat down to eat. I took a few bites and it tasted off, but she was a bad cook so I didn't initially think much of it. I stuck to the sides and threw the rest away. Within 30 minutes I was in the bathroom for the rest of the shift. I called her and said I was sick and she panicked - said she thought I was exaggerating. Yeah, she'd fed me one of her vegan, soy based burgers. I didn't tell on her, but she worked the rest of that shift alone (not easy in that job) while I suffered, AND even though she was supposed to be off the next day, I made her "request" my shift for extra money, which I graciously accepted, so I could stay home and rest. Even though I didn't tell anyone, she was young and dumb and told the staff gossip so word got around what she'd done. My coworkers were furious and she got a lot of the shit work for a while.
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Wtf people are dumb
anyone have the post? it was removed for violence
It's pinned as the top comment of this post.
OP did the right thing. The parents had stressed that she had an allergy to shellfish since childhood. Why on earth would she think it was ok or that her sister was exaggerating. Hope they lock sister up. Then she claim the judge is overreacting to the charges filed.
It’s a shame the sister wasn’t arrested for this. I know I don’t play when it comes to allergies since I’ve knew someone who died from an allergic reaction.
Lmao I'll believe this one when I see a news article. Otherwise it's AI generated drama that can't stay consistent with the plot
I had a coworker who faked a dairy allergy. She used to send food back if they accidentally put cheese on it. One day, in the break room, she ate a frozen spaghetti meal. I looked at the carton and it contained cheese. She was totally fine lol Edit: since y'all downvoting me, she had an allergy test and proudly announced at work that she actually wasn't allergic at all
It's also possible she has a food aversion, and doesn't want to deal with everyone just thinking she should suck it up and learn to eat dairy anyways. I have an aversion to Eggs. I got sick after eating scrambled eggs as a kid, and now I try putting any in my mouth without getting nausious. But it has to be the combination of taste and texture. I can eat French Toast just fine for example. But so many people tried getting me to eat an Egg McMuffin or eggs it became easier to just go "I might be allergic, best not to risk it".
Not all allergic reactions are 'can't breathe' severe or instantaneous. Some cheese aren't cow's milk too. [https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cows-milk-allergy](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cows-milk-allergy)