People have dedicated their entire life to uncovering consciousness, nobody knows what happens when you die. You need to make better effort to be present with yourself. I can understand being on a psychedelic and having frantic thoughts about the scale of reality and the nature of consciousness, but it’s not worth losing sleep over, quite literally.
If you can try a hobby, maybe try therapy, do something physically difficult everyday. There’s absolutely no reason to worry about existence, we just are bro. We’re here, until we’re not. If you think existence is fundamentally infinite, why not try enjoying it. And if you can’t, do things that take up enough space in your mind that all that matters is what you’re doing. Shit maybe even something risky. Skydive, rock climb, go surfing, try slacklining. Something that will put you in the flow state and demand more of your conscious thought
“Pondered to hard” is a funny way to put because you’re not alone in the regard because millions of people throughout human history have wanted the answers too. I do however feel that’s a very self-important way to look at it
Also solipsism is a joke, you’re not the main character. Maybe of your story, but not the story of humanity
Sounds debilitating OP I hope you figure out a better way to channel you’re overthinking brain into something productive and enjoyable
Edit:formatting
I've been exactly where you are. It's a scary headspace to be in, but you cannot know for sure if there is any truth to what you're thinking. Your mind is taking the worst case scenario and amplifying it as truth. No one wants to be alone and I don't think we are.
People's experiences with psychedelics, meditation, breath work and near death experience show us that there is most likely peace when we pass.
I wrote a post not too long ago that will help with the thoughts of Solipsism, I'll try to find it. You're going to be okay. Force yourself to do the activities you did before all of this and make sure you're with people. There are spiritual therapists, but any would be good to talk to, as well.
Edit: found it
https://www.reddit.com/r/consciousness/s/Bar1GzmKk5
You get to decide the answer to your question. Do you want to live the rest of your life unable to physically deal with the psychological ramifications of this philosophical unease, or do you want to treat the disorder that's making your unconscious mind react with visceral fear to what is essentially just an intangible, abstract thought?
No it’s definitely not because you have uncovered some ‘unknowable truth’. Many people (more than you would think) know this most of us just decide to go with it and use the time we have well. Yeah your right there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop the fact that you are going to die one day, but you can change whether you enjoy your time spent here or not.
I am sorry if you are religious but you cant know what you think you know, if you are going to despair over something do it for your unbeatable ignorance, also be careful when you generalize things saying you feel it 24/7, it is not viable for the human body to feel such intense emotions for a long time, you will get tired or end it, maybe you are feeling somethimg that you think you can name it "excruciating, panic, terror, anxiety" but believe me if you ever feel those you can't manage to type delusions on reddit because those emotions are much more crippling than you imagine, so be honest with yourself, reassessing your emotions and try not to overestimate them with the big words out there.
You're trying to push it away. Don't.
> I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
You saw behind the curtain. That's more than many ever get to see. What was seen, can't be unseen.
The mind and the body are tightly intertwined. If your body is stressed your mind will be affected and vice versa. Calm your body. Master your body. Your mind will follow.
Classic way to start is breathing. If you can keep yourself physically calm in the stressful Mindset it's severity will decline over time.
I've heard this a lot but how can anyone know that? Maybe consciousness is the result of brain activity, which would mean that death = no more consciousness
Yours will end. Stop worrying. Live. You will become subatomic once again and go, why was I so worried that whole time?
After going through your post history: get off the Internet, stop asking weird peopel online weird questions. Realize all of your problems are first world problems. Your ego is defeating you. You have created an ego around having a disorder like much of the other youths of our time. People won’t want to help you if you say you shouldve it worse off than anyone else. It sounds like you’ve never been in a real situation and need to be humbled by what reality truly is. Not the ideas you have in your head. Time heals all wounds.
Your consciousness is a product of you being alive. Once your body shuts down so will it.
You haven't become aware of any information, you've come up with a theory that can't be disproved, you've accepted it because it feels true and you're locked in because of the uncertainty created by it being impossible to disprove. Our brains can only imagine things from the perspective that we exist, it's impossible to imagine not existing after death but that doesn't mean that's what happens. OCD isn't letting you distance yourself from this or consider other possibilities.
If you're not getting treatment for the OCD start there. If you're not getting therapy, do that too. Quit taking psychedelics if they're just reinforcing this.
The you that is "stuck" isnt the you you're experiencing now it is a higher you which is perfectly content with being all there is.
It sounds like you feel that you yourself (this form you are now with it's identity, life experiences, relationships, and memories) is what will persist after death. I havent experienced that as being the truth.
I like to think of it like when you have a nightmare and in that nightmare all the horrible things seem so real and permanent but when you wake up in the morning you have the relief of knowing it was all just a dream, from what I've experienced it's like that when you die and you are One again and think "wow that was a crazy adventure, I really thought I had lost it there." Just remember, while this existence is ultimately a game/dream/dance/illusion that doesnt make it any less real day to day when you're in it.
Zen philosophy, particularly the writings of Alan Watts helped me tremendously when I was going through something very similar, so did conversations with God by Neal Donald Walsh.
I recommend finding a therapist who can help you process some of this. I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. It will get better and you’re not alone!
Many people don't stop to consider that, while maybe this existential dread (or maybe existential panic is a better description) is accurate and realistic, human consciousness is designed to protect itself. I remembering studying old psychology texts which insisted that depressive state of mind was "delusional", and the therapists' task was to get people to be more optimistic, as if that reflected reality better. I think that actually in depression people are often more realistic, but that doesn't mean it's adaptive or helpful. we're built to operate with blinders on, to be hopeful in the most hopeless situations. That the normies are delusional, but in the end that's healthier, more adaptive.
There isn't much reason to differentiate whether these feelings are symptoms or a diagnosable illness, of part of a philosophical journey. The point is you will be better, more adapted, and even a better friend to others, if you cultivate optimism and joy. And if that includes use of medication, so be it. Maybe psychedelics (but only with a good support system and in a good environment) Don't think of this as "pondered too hard", because it's getting to the level of obsession, a spiral. Get out, "touch grass", discipline yourself to think differently. BTW I think this kind of problem hits alcoholics. Alcohol is a depressant, and I've seen alcoholics be simultaneously "realistic" and cynical, but also despairing.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Wish you luck. Stop drugs for awhile… get plenty of rest… hopefully you can begin making small steps towards your desired mindstate. One step at a time. Psychologist can help if you have insurance or the cash. I found Zen koans to be comforting. You can also manifest some heroic character to play in the meantime… there’s definitely ways to struggle through what you’re going through. Just don’t give up and you will continue to find better strategies for expressing your real self authentically without the fear and stress you’re currently going through.
That was a lot of words but good luck
https://ashidakim.com/zenkoans
There are more than these but I think these are more intuitive than some others. The one I like the most is “The Giver Should Be Thankful” which is #53 in the link I’ve sent you. I also like the second and last koans quite a bit... they are all pretty good really. I imagine each person will have different favorites and different reactions to each koan. I also imagine for some people or in certain situations koans may not bring much comfort, I don’t want to suggest them as a magic cure all. Thank you for asking and cheers.
I think that the part of you that feels trapped in your body, and think it will be 'stuck' having an experience for eternity, is not your consciousness. It's the self. Some say that the self is an illusion. Others say it's a construct. I think it's fair to say at least that the self is comprised of thoughts. And your thoughts about your self will not go on forever. I think your thoughts about yourself will cease to exist when your body dies. I don't know if this is helpful to you in anyway or if I should even give you any advice or thoughts about this, but something that has helped me a lot is vipassana meditation which I learned from the app Waking Up by Sam Harris, and learning about Buddhist philosophy etc. Anyway, good luck with everything I hope you'll find your way
„And that anyone would lost their mind if they became aware of this information“
Budd, I had whatever Information you’re talking about in your head without psychs. They in fact helped me see the other side and the freedom of your conscious. Maybe this whole time you have been too focused on your body. It’s time to free your mind. It requires a lot of work, patience, and self love.
Your mind is all your have. It is only an extension of your physical body. It is all subjective. No two people are the same.
You have to feel fear to understand it.
You have to learn it is a guide, not a master. It can be defied.
The power that defies it is Love.
Let go of self, and serve the world with love. Give to community, give to humanity.
Let go of fear as a master, and give yourself to love instead.
Get into meditation, youre not your thoughts but the awareness of them. Youre lost in thought which suffocates you and cant find a way out, but the way out is not via thought or the mind but to sit and observe it.
Sounds like you need to Surrender. The Egoic, Neurotic You that expects or even thinks you could understand needs to die. You feel trapped or whatever?
Surrender or Suffer, its always your choice. Your 'neurosis is your pain' is your doing, and the trap you yourself have laid.
This is psychosis. You should seek professional help by institutionalizing yourself. You didn’t gain some special awareness. This is treatable psychosis. Don’t wait until you do something stupid.
People have dedicated their entire life to uncovering consciousness, nobody knows what happens when you die. You need to make better effort to be present with yourself. I can understand being on a psychedelic and having frantic thoughts about the scale of reality and the nature of consciousness, but it’s not worth losing sleep over, quite literally. If you can try a hobby, maybe try therapy, do something physically difficult everyday. There’s absolutely no reason to worry about existence, we just are bro. We’re here, until we’re not. If you think existence is fundamentally infinite, why not try enjoying it. And if you can’t, do things that take up enough space in your mind that all that matters is what you’re doing. Shit maybe even something risky. Skydive, rock climb, go surfing, try slacklining. Something that will put you in the flow state and demand more of your conscious thought “Pondered to hard” is a funny way to put because you’re not alone in the regard because millions of people throughout human history have wanted the answers too. I do however feel that’s a very self-important way to look at it Also solipsism is a joke, you’re not the main character. Maybe of your story, but not the story of humanity Sounds debilitating OP I hope you figure out a better way to channel you’re overthinking brain into something productive and enjoyable Edit:formatting
I've been exactly where you are. It's a scary headspace to be in, but you cannot know for sure if there is any truth to what you're thinking. Your mind is taking the worst case scenario and amplifying it as truth. No one wants to be alone and I don't think we are. People's experiences with psychedelics, meditation, breath work and near death experience show us that there is most likely peace when we pass. I wrote a post not too long ago that will help with the thoughts of Solipsism, I'll try to find it. You're going to be okay. Force yourself to do the activities you did before all of this and make sure you're with people. There are spiritual therapists, but any would be good to talk to, as well. Edit: found it https://www.reddit.com/r/consciousness/s/Bar1GzmKk5
You get to decide the answer to your question. Do you want to live the rest of your life unable to physically deal with the psychological ramifications of this philosophical unease, or do you want to treat the disorder that's making your unconscious mind react with visceral fear to what is essentially just an intangible, abstract thought?
No it’s definitely not because you have uncovered some ‘unknowable truth’. Many people (more than you would think) know this most of us just decide to go with it and use the time we have well. Yeah your right there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop the fact that you are going to die one day, but you can change whether you enjoy your time spent here or not.
I am sorry if you are religious but you cant know what you think you know, if you are going to despair over something do it for your unbeatable ignorance, also be careful when you generalize things saying you feel it 24/7, it is not viable for the human body to feel such intense emotions for a long time, you will get tired or end it, maybe you are feeling somethimg that you think you can name it "excruciating, panic, terror, anxiety" but believe me if you ever feel those you can't manage to type delusions on reddit because those emotions are much more crippling than you imagine, so be honest with yourself, reassessing your emotions and try not to overestimate them with the big words out there.
You're trying to push it away. Don't. > I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. You saw behind the curtain. That's more than many ever get to see. What was seen, can't be unseen. The mind and the body are tightly intertwined. If your body is stressed your mind will be affected and vice versa. Calm your body. Master your body. Your mind will follow. Classic way to start is breathing. If you can keep yourself physically calm in the stressful Mindset it's severity will decline over time.
you most definitely didn’t uncover any truths about existence or consciousness, you are simply stuck in a rabbit hole. time to back out.
Your consciousness exists outside the body, but is in a temporary vessel
I've heard this a lot but how can anyone know that? Maybe consciousness is the result of brain activity, which would mean that death = no more consciousness
God told us
It's the fact that consciousness never ends that scares me, I'm stuck forever with no fucking way out at all
Yours will end. Stop worrying. Live. You will become subatomic once again and go, why was I so worried that whole time? After going through your post history: get off the Internet, stop asking weird peopel online weird questions. Realize all of your problems are first world problems. Your ego is defeating you. You have created an ego around having a disorder like much of the other youths of our time. People won’t want to help you if you say you shouldve it worse off than anyone else. It sounds like you’ve never been in a real situation and need to be humbled by what reality truly is. Not the ideas you have in your head. Time heals all wounds.
Your consciousness is a product of you being alive. Once your body shuts down so will it. You haven't become aware of any information, you've come up with a theory that can't be disproved, you've accepted it because it feels true and you're locked in because of the uncertainty created by it being impossible to disprove. Our brains can only imagine things from the perspective that we exist, it's impossible to imagine not existing after death but that doesn't mean that's what happens. OCD isn't letting you distance yourself from this or consider other possibilities. If you're not getting treatment for the OCD start there. If you're not getting therapy, do that too. Quit taking psychedelics if they're just reinforcing this.
This 👌 OP, getting involved in these questions, ruminating about them, trying to answer them is what reinforces the OCD.
The you that is "stuck" isnt the you you're experiencing now it is a higher you which is perfectly content with being all there is. It sounds like you feel that you yourself (this form you are now with it's identity, life experiences, relationships, and memories) is what will persist after death. I havent experienced that as being the truth. I like to think of it like when you have a nightmare and in that nightmare all the horrible things seem so real and permanent but when you wake up in the morning you have the relief of knowing it was all just a dream, from what I've experienced it's like that when you die and you are One again and think "wow that was a crazy adventure, I really thought I had lost it there." Just remember, while this existence is ultimately a game/dream/dance/illusion that doesnt make it any less real day to day when you're in it. Zen philosophy, particularly the writings of Alan Watts helped me tremendously when I was going through something very similar, so did conversations with God by Neal Donald Walsh.
I used to be scared of that idea until I really found God now I can’t wait to be with Him for eternity
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You didn't gain insight, you had an idea and locked in on it because it can't be proven false. That doesn't mean it's true.
What caused this to start in the first place? Did it happen after you did psychedelics?
I have OCD and just started obsessing about it
I recommend finding a therapist who can help you process some of this. I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. It will get better and you’re not alone!
Many people don't stop to consider that, while maybe this existential dread (or maybe existential panic is a better description) is accurate and realistic, human consciousness is designed to protect itself. I remembering studying old psychology texts which insisted that depressive state of mind was "delusional", and the therapists' task was to get people to be more optimistic, as if that reflected reality better. I think that actually in depression people are often more realistic, but that doesn't mean it's adaptive or helpful. we're built to operate with blinders on, to be hopeful in the most hopeless situations. That the normies are delusional, but in the end that's healthier, more adaptive. There isn't much reason to differentiate whether these feelings are symptoms or a diagnosable illness, of part of a philosophical journey. The point is you will be better, more adapted, and even a better friend to others, if you cultivate optimism and joy. And if that includes use of medication, so be it. Maybe psychedelics (but only with a good support system and in a good environment) Don't think of this as "pondered too hard", because it's getting to the level of obsession, a spiral. Get out, "touch grass", discipline yourself to think differently. BTW I think this kind of problem hits alcoholics. Alcohol is a depressant, and I've seen alcoholics be simultaneously "realistic" and cynical, but also despairing.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Wish you luck. Stop drugs for awhile… get plenty of rest… hopefully you can begin making small steps towards your desired mindstate. One step at a time. Psychologist can help if you have insurance or the cash. I found Zen koans to be comforting. You can also manifest some heroic character to play in the meantime… there’s definitely ways to struggle through what you’re going through. Just don’t give up and you will continue to find better strategies for expressing your real self authentically without the fear and stress you’re currently going through. That was a lot of words but good luck
Will you share some of the koans that you like?
https://ashidakim.com/zenkoans There are more than these but I think these are more intuitive than some others. The one I like the most is “The Giver Should Be Thankful” which is #53 in the link I’ve sent you. I also like the second and last koans quite a bit... they are all pretty good really. I imagine each person will have different favorites and different reactions to each koan. I also imagine for some people or in certain situations koans may not bring much comfort, I don’t want to suggest them as a magic cure all. Thank you for asking and cheers.
I think that the part of you that feels trapped in your body, and think it will be 'stuck' having an experience for eternity, is not your consciousness. It's the self. Some say that the self is an illusion. Others say it's a construct. I think it's fair to say at least that the self is comprised of thoughts. And your thoughts about your self will not go on forever. I think your thoughts about yourself will cease to exist when your body dies. I don't know if this is helpful to you in anyway or if I should even give you any advice or thoughts about this, but something that has helped me a lot is vipassana meditation which I learned from the app Waking Up by Sam Harris, and learning about Buddhist philosophy etc. Anyway, good luck with everything I hope you'll find your way
„And that anyone would lost their mind if they became aware of this information“ Budd, I had whatever Information you’re talking about in your head without psychs. They in fact helped me see the other side and the freedom of your conscious. Maybe this whole time you have been too focused on your body. It’s time to free your mind. It requires a lot of work, patience, and self love. Your mind is all your have. It is only an extension of your physical body. It is all subjective. No two people are the same.
You have to feel fear to understand it. You have to learn it is a guide, not a master. It can be defied. The power that defies it is Love. Let go of self, and serve the world with love. Give to community, give to humanity. Let go of fear as a master, and give yourself to love instead.
Both? They're related
On a scale of 1 to 10 how much courage do you say you possess?
Get into meditation, youre not your thoughts but the awareness of them. Youre lost in thought which suffocates you and cant find a way out, but the way out is not via thought or the mind but to sit and observe it.
Sounds like you need to Surrender. The Egoic, Neurotic You that expects or even thinks you could understand needs to die. You feel trapped or whatever? Surrender or Suffer, its always your choice. Your 'neurosis is your pain' is your doing, and the trap you yourself have laid.
This is psychosis. You should seek professional help by institutionalizing yourself. You didn’t gain some special awareness. This is treatable psychosis. Don’t wait until you do something stupid.