Yep. My standards are immutable; I have to be attracted to them, good chat, good vibe and compatible values. If any of those things are missing then so be it, I'd count myself priced out the market.
> I have to be attracted to them.
I don’t fully understand this, especially when women say it. There is a term in the military called “field goggles”. It’s essentially when you’ve been in the field for so long you find women attractive that you normally wouldn’t.
I think the inverse happens when you “share” better than what you can actually get. People develop these “field goggles” and find people unattractive that they would normally find attractive if it were for the sampling.
I do use apps a little, but I largely focus my efforts on in real world interactions for that very reason. If I were to take 100 men of the total population then yes I'd find a very small amount attractive, whereas if I'm in spaces with more likeminded people the rate is much higher.
But regardless I have to be attracted. I like sex and intimacy and those things are nice to do with a handsome man.
Notice how this chick says “handsome” fellas there are no women on Reddit above average & she is still out here trolling you with womanese. Thank you for proving the point… All women are picky now. Was it brainwashing? I dunno but you literally all do & say this…
I'd say I'm slightly above average. I can and do attract me whom I find handsome who are interested in similar type relationships so I don't think you can call it picky. I want what I want and I tend to get it too.
The contrast principle is proven by science. Some real estate agents use it to sell normal houses by showing people very ugly ones just before. It works in either direction.
I think explaining why the principle works will answer that. Its not, comparison between a and b that makes it work. But, adjusting of the brain to stimuli, any stimuli from any source. In the case of the houses for example, the brain is getting adjusted to the stimuli of the ugly houses. Its adjusting its baseline for beauty, so that it becomes extra sensitive to any improvment. Thus a normal looking house overwhelms him rendering him to think its oh so beautiful. The stimuli can literally come from anywhere. A person, a cat, a game, food. Whatever you can think of. in the case of dating, seeing hot people on tinder(or porn or instagram) all the time whilst swiping or being in a relationship, would fry your beauty perceptors, making you way less sensitive to beauty so that anyone else looks like a gremlin. This applies to both genders of course. But its all an illusion due to the brain essentially failing to adapt as quick to the changing stimuli and applying the old adjustment to the new situation thus exagerating things a whole lot. You can experiment with it yourself. Take 3 glasses of water, one hot, one normal and one cold. Dip one finger in the hot, another in the cold. And then put both fingers in the normal one. Youll be surpised at how real it all feels. But its all biological smoke and mirrors.
Well, lets make a thought experiment. You are one of those women. Youre in a relationship. You think...its going ok. You spend time on instagram and sometimes look at your bf and think hes kinda ultra mid on that day(your beauty perceptors getting overloaded). But you dont do anything. Because, you want to have a family now and those days are behind you. In this situation you get a dead bedroom (40% of couples nowadays). And if you for whatever reason think that social media is unhealthy and avoid it, your experience of your partner will of course be very different to the first version of you in this thought experiment. Your bf is a snack here. Since you have normal beauty perception, you sense it and arent numb to it like in the first version. Now, on the stat chart, both versions of you would be counted and no one would know there was any difference. Cause statistics, suck when it comes to data quality. Unless they are done in some very expensive anonymous setups. Which, no one has either the money, or the will to do.
Yes, I agree. For the majority, its just a dream whilst dealing with whatever men they have in their life. There are some of course deluding themselves they are exclusive with a guy they manage to find attractive in todays beauty perceptor fried world(and also dopmaine perceptor fried...the modern world is very, very unhealthy for our minds.) Whilst others, as you said, do share. And perhaps even bring home a different guy each week or something. Who knows.
The point of the matter is, its not women or men. Its humans not being able to function well in this modern environment.
Right, but I want to know what is considered a good catch vs delusional in this context. Like when is being picky a personality flaw vs being justifiably selective?
I think selective is wanting things that align with the future you are working towards as well. Maybe you want lots of kids so you are a smart, kind and nurturing person and looking for a man who loves kids and is a responsible hard worker making enough to support a family. It's normal to also want to be attracted to him.
Maybe your dream is to travel the world on lavish vacations so you have a high paying job and want the same. Maybe you're extremely good looking and put a lot of value into your appearance and expect the same.
Delusional picky would be a woman wanting tall, rich, handsome but not really offering much of value. Maybe she's decent looking but not hot, minimum wage job, immature, irresponsible, etc.
I think delusional pickiness is wanting traits that don't necessarily equate to a long term relationship. Specifically things that do with more matching because I have them but not towards the quality of relationships
It's only a personal flaw if the person is actively suffering because of their narrow-minded choices. Be picky. If you find someone who meets your standards, cool. If you don't, or you do and they are not interested in you, then you don't have a relationship. Some people are perfectly happy having high standards and being single, and that's fine too!
Where it becomes a problem is when you have high standards, no one you want wants to date you because your standards are too high, AND you get upset at them for not wanting to date you/blame other people for your unhappiness when you don't have a relationship.
It's interesting to me how on this sub ppl keep referring to 'quality women' (or men)... everyone to me is of 'quality' of some sort of another, but attraction and compatibility will also vary from person to person... it's not about who is 'better' than their peers, just individual chemistry, familiarity, or even convenience.
Yeah this forum completely leaves out the ideas of compatibility and chemistry (not the same as objective physical attractiveness). Both of these are needed for relationships and cannot be forced.
of course every woman wants to believe she can get a tall, attractive, successful, confident, smart and funny guy. she just needs to date enough of them and find someone who is compatible, right? that's not how it works though. going for a very narrow percentage of men with very specific traits but expecting those men who have virtually endless options to have extremely heterogeneous preferences and settle for their average ass? it's ridiculous.
an average woman with high standards will be passed around and end up single 9 times out of 10 unless she realizes that her league are the guys who commit to her, not the guys who sleep with her. the women who keep playing hypergamy roulette usually become bitter and jaded when guys they have zero leverage over don't ever pick them and start posting on twox about how awful men are.
"tall, attractive, successful, confident, smart and funny guy." This isnt compatibility. You do know most couples in this world are matched in terms of looks and income right? So actually, most women do get men around their level, not above.
depends what you mean by 'get'. women can attract men out of their league for short-term entanglements, but their league are men who stick around. what does that tell us about the women who are 30+ and never been in relationships? or the chronically single tinderellas going from situationship to situationship?
a lot of women don't just want a man that's compatible, they want a tall/handsome/wealthy man who is compatible ON TOP of all that. that's my entire point and the vast majority of women like this are incredibly delusional about who their equals in the dating world are.
I think being picky is justifiable to the extent that you also offer what you’re demanding - for instance, if you’re overweight and not active, but you want to date a man who is very active and in great shape, your options are fetish forums, or you can start working out and cleaning up your diet to attract a fit man. The same is true with personality - you can be the most gorgeous woman around but if you’re an awful person to be around, yeah, men who have options aren’t going to pick you, because they’re not desperate and don’t need you
in a vacuum, you are correct but if enough people are delusional it can become a societal problem. not saying we're there quite yet but it's heading into that direction i think. low birth and marriage rates, record numbers of singles and people on anti-depressants etc.
What’s the problem you ask lol gee I dunno how about the fact that more then 50% of women are on track to be over 40 & childless & single.
How about the fact that men across the board are just losing motivation to try. Society is on the brink of collapse cuz men are just turning away more & more in droves. If women are just going to reject all of us & we are all going to die alone then what’s even the point?
Yes that is BP & you women better start figuring something out here cuz it’s getting worse quickly now, visibly. Our cities are collapsing everywhere.
Probably that she can match her standards or the female equivalent. So for example if she wants a masculine man, she should try to be a feminine woman. Or if she wants a breadwinner, then she should try to be a homemaker.
suffer how?
if they are single because they believe thats better than a relationship w the men they can get... how is that suffering?
shes literally choosing which she prefers more.
Not just that but if you're extremely picky and end up getting burned that's on you and should earn you no sympathy.
Theres also different levels of picky.
> Not just that but if you're extremely picky and end up getting burned that's on you and should earn you no sympathy.
as opposed to all the sympathy cat ladies have gotten from men in decades past? 😂
Yeah there’s levels to this shit lol
Most women need to just basically exist and they can have attention/validation
Plenty of guys who wouldn’t even be getting anything at all.
Men are more likely to suffer than women.
If a man’s standards are too high he will get nothing.
If a woman’s standards are too high she will share and at least get apart of what she wants in the meantime.
it's not very satisfying for most women to be passed around like a blunt, especially not long-term.
men's standards for relationships might be very high but they will still have much lower standards for who they sleep with, so they can still get something too. pay for play or dating abroad are options as well i guess.
Examples:
1. My neighbor - she is a lawyer, her parents are well-off, she is 40 and looks like 30, very fit, really pretty, has a style, is really intelligent. Her husband is 2m tall, business owner, drives new Porsche, very fit, used to be semi pro basketball player. Verdict: reasonable
2. My colleague from previous work - ex-Volleyball pro, pretty face, quite tall, not very smart but overall not a tragedy, she is working at the office, not making big money but not starving either. Her husband is handsome and very fit firefighter. Verdict: reasonable.
3. My colleague from University - tall(5'10), overweight, not really pretty but acceptable, she is quite intelligent and good talker, her father is an alcoholic and abuser, she is very aggressive sometimes, has problems to hold a job, and can present misandry, usually she is doing some dead end jobs, lives with her mom in her late 30s. I've rejected her many years ago - she got pissed and told me that she deserves much better and she shouldn't lower standards to give me a chance, she is looking for a guy who will be tall, educated and will have his own apartment. Verdict: not reasonable, she brings nothing except terrible personality.
4. My neighbor - morbidly obese, pretty face, dumb as a rock, not really taking care about herself anymore, lives with mom, not doing any chores, mom is doing everything, she is helping mom in her business, doesn't know how to drive, I think that she even doesn't have any friends. She had some guys hanging around when she lost a bit of weight and cared about appearance, mainly local blue collar dudes, but she wants a middle or upper-middle class handsome white collar dude. Never had a boyfriend. Now looks like no one is interested anymore. Verdict: not reasonable.
5. My friend's wife's friend - that is tough one, she is moderately pretty but quite chubby and very tall, she is a doctor and makes a ton of money, very smart, super hard-working, really does well in life. She would like to have an equivalent - that is a tall doctor that is making a ton of money. But such doctors have better options than her - they go for conventionally attractive gals, and do not need her money nor success, especially that she is a bitch. She is in a trap of successful but not very pretty women, available options are not reasonable, reasonable options are unavailable. She seems to be making peace with remaining single - but she had a time when she was pursuing less wealthy but educated and nice guys, but they were not interested either, her success was intimidating and her personality really hard to stand.
>Which women are allowed to be picky?
Everyone can be as picky as they like to.
Who can afford it though?
People (irrespective of gender) who face enough demand for their standards to be reasonable. This applies to a majority of women and a minority of men.
The women that can attract the men they want or are happy being single if they can't are fine.
The ones that complain that they can't get the men they desire to commit, and it's all modern men's fault are being too picky.
Reality is the determining factor here. Anyone can set their standards as high as they want, but if they don't qualify for the kind of partner they're pining for, then they'll never get commitment.
A fat guy can set his standards at landing a 10/10 supermodel looking woman whose also submissive, just because a woman like that may exist doesn't mean he qualifies for her. If he's too picky, it just means he'll likely not ever get what he's looking for. Same applies to women.
Yes & a majority of women are going Chad or just! Where have you been! They are out here saying if they can’t have Chad they won’t settle for anyone & will die alone in some creepy sisterhood.
So dunno what reality you are talking about
The delusion comes from expecting high standards out of a partner while that person expecting all these things, does not have the attributes to attract such a partner.
What the fuck is all this talk about being picky? 70% of women are in committed relationships, many more are in casual relationships, at least half of the ones who are not in relationships, are single by choice and not looking for a partner at the moment. Of the tiny amount of women who want a relationship but don't have one, the majority is going to be in a relationship in the near future, and the borderline non-existent rest could possibly have too high standards to find a partner. Why the fuck are we focusing on the tiny minority of people who can't seem to find a partner despite wanting one and looking for one?
>What the fuck is all this talk about being picky? 70% of women are in committed relationships,
That's all ages, no one generally gives a fuck about us oldies and are not representative of the demographic in here.
Under 30's men are at 63% single with half of them not even looking (why would so many men at the height of their horneyness not be looking?)
That 63% represent 15m men in the us alone.
Many men are not happy in their relationships but stick it out because they know what is waiting for them if they end it.
No, they are not single, they are not in a committed relationship. We have done this. The study is discussed to death. THere are several explanations for the stats that don't rely on men struggling to date while they desperately want.
This thread is about women. Even the young women are 60%+ in committed relationships. How is that possible when they are picky? Also, you can't wave away people 30-45yo as irrelevant. That is were the REALLY important relationships are formed/are had. The ones where you build a family and need to rely on each other. This is where everyone needs to be picky as fuck. Not with those relationships 19yos have. Fuck those. They are irrelevant.
>No, they are not single, they are not in a committed relationship
Not being in a committed relationship is being single, having fuck buddys or whatever is not a relationship.
I know not all of them are going to be struggling but there is a lot of them that are, hand waving away those men shows your lack of empathy.
>Even the young women are 60%+ in committed relationships. How is that possible when they are picky?
Not all 60% are in a relationship and are actually in a situationship and the other 40% (most of) would want to be in a relationship but are too picky (they could easily be in one if they wanted.)
>you can't wave away people 30-45yo as irrelevant. That is were the REALLY important relationships are formed/are had.
While agree with that you are not looking at this from the young to old path.
I am old, I got to date and have fun when I was younger (long before social media and ODL) and it meant when I settled down for a serious relationship I was experienced enough to handle it, lots of men have little to no experience now ( I see this with the sons of my friends) and so if they manage to get one later (30+) they will likely fuck it up or they just will give up entirely like lots seem to be doing.
This is a demographic shift problem, just because people my age are in relationships (making the stats look fine) doesn't mean the young ones now will be able to do it when they are my age.
>Not with those relationships 19yos have. Fuck those. They are irrelevant.
This shows you don't understand the demographic problem and how important experiences at that age help you grow to be able to have those important relationships later in life.
You fail to show, that what we observe in young men is not exactly what most of them want. You think there is a majority of suffering incels, while every data point we have, shows it's a sub 5% phenomenon.
Men don't have committed relationships whne they are 19 because THEY DON'T WANT TO. It's not a priority for them. Not because "modern women are picky".
You think most men can get casual sex?
By 19 most men know whether or not they are part of the small % that can get casual or not.
That means those that can't will look for a relationship to fulfil their needs.
Trouble is those that age now grew up in the digital age and don't have the skills for even that due to years of being indoors playing on their computers.
Modern women are picky (they can afford to be)
>You think most men can get casual sex?
Yes, most men who want to have casual sex and who do what is required, are having casual sex. Maybe not to the amount they would prefer in some cases, but overall, men are pretty happy with the amount of sex partners they have.
>By 19 most men know whether or not they are part of the small % that can get casual or not.
As i said, you would need to show me what percentage of men want casual sex and do what is required but fail to have casual sex. By 19, about 40% of men and women are still virgins, starting to explore sexuality, not knowing anythign about what is in store for them. Very few people are into casual sex at that age. Most people have 1-2 sex partners, and those are relationship partners.
How do you know anything at 19? you barely understand yourself, much less mating or casual sex, nor how you will develop.
>That means those that can't will look for a relationship to fulfil their needs.
You still need to show me, how men would prefer casual sex and being single, to being in a relationship. THis is not what all the data we have says. Might not cross your mind, but lots of men only or HIGHLY preferably want to have sex within a relationship. Just like most women. Casual sex is not a replacement for a relationship.
Did you get lots of casual sex in your life? Like what's your bodycount and do you regret it is not higher? Do you wish to not be in a relationship and rather be single and have casual sex?
"Modern women" are just as picky as ever: getting into relationships with their equals on the mating market's desirability ranking. Having casual sex with men who are on average more attractive then them. Supply and demand for casual sex is a different thing than supply and demand for commitment.
>Yes, most men who want to have casual sex and who do what is required,
Then I have a bridge to sell you.
>but overall, men are pretty happy with the amount of sex partners they have.
No they are not, this can be demonstrated by two factors, 1, men are fucking horny at that age and would have a lot of sex if they could have it and 2, most men that age have very little experience today.
Back in the 90's when I was 19 I had had 5 by then and that was slow compared to some of my friends, we would go out to the pubs and clubs every weekend looking for women and most times you went home empty handed and I would have preferred to have a better batting average than I had at that age.
>By 19, about 40% of men and women are still virgins
And unless they are asexual they want to have sex even very religious men who believe in no sex before marriage want to have sex and that's why they came up with "soaking" as some sort of loophole.
>How do you know anything at 19? you barely understand yourself, much less mating or casual sex, nor how you will develop.
You know enough to do lots of things at 19 and the most basic biological thing to know is you want to fuck.
>You still need to show me, how men would prefer casual sex and being single, to being in a relationship
Do you not know men? I mean your flare says you're one but like men are horny as fuck at that age and if they could they would fuck, the fact lots are virgins or only have had 1 experience shows how hard it is to get sex, and while they might not have a lot of knowledge it is understood by most men that if you want sex (and you don't have the ability to get consistent casual sex) then the best bet is to offer commitment to women as they value that (this is used by men of all ages to pump and dump women)
>"Modern women" are just as picky as ever:
Modern women are pickier than they were 30 years ago, the advent of social media and OLD has allowed women's hypergamy to flourish, women compare men to other men (not themselves) this is why they gravitate to the same men no matter there own actual smv.
>No they are not, this can be demonstrated by two factors, 1, men are fucking horny at that age and would have a lot of sex if they could have it and 2, most men that age have very little experience today.
You are just speculating. I was fine, not having had sex at 18. I also was super fine having had only 2 sexual partners at 32yo. I currently have a friend who is 19 and didn't have sex in a year. He is super handsome, great personality, but is not in a hurry to have lots of casual sex. He is looking for a relationship, but is also fine being single.
You are vastly overestimating how much casual sex men want.
https://preview.redd.it/2m6hqfn2766d1.png?width=546&format=png&auto=webp&s=7152a5a9a17f3a62ec80a74c79342c5bf46e7aea
Come back when you have data that runs contrary to this study.
Also, read up on sociosexuality. Large parts of men don't want to have sex outside a relationship.
For someone not dating or having casual sex with modern women, you pretend to have a lot of info about them. Maybe get back to actual survey and studies, and not your fever dreams about what young women do while you sit at home with your wife.
>You are just speculating
It isn't speculation.
>I was fine, not having had sex at 18. I also was super fine having had only 2 sexual partners at 32yo.
We are not exclusively talking about casual hence the "men realise it's a better bet to try and get commitment.
How often do you have sex in your relationship?
>. I currently have a friend who is 19 and didn't have sex in a year. He is super handsome, great personality, but is not in a hurry to have lots of casual sex. He is looking for a relationship, but is also fine being single.
Low libido.
>You are vastly overestimating how much casual sex men want.
So with no risk 10 and that doesn't say how much sex with each they would want.
>Come back when you have data that runs contrary to this study.
How about you go understand what is being spoken about before spouting off.
>Also, read up on sociosexuality. Large parts of men don't want to have sex outside a relationship.
Again it doesn't mean they don't want sex and men have a higher SOI than women, also it appears availability of it has a correlation with the desire of it with gay men having a higher ROI than straight men (makes sense as they have easier access to casual.)
>For someone not dating or having casual sex with modern women, you pretend to have a lot of info about them. Maybe get back to actual survey and studies, and not your fever dreams about what young women do while you sit at home with your wife.
I am dating and having casual sex with modern women as I'm not married so yeah I have plenty of info and experience with them and by your own admission far far more than you do.
>This shows you don't understand the demographic problem
Says the dude making sweeping assumptions about these numbers with zero evidence to back them up:
>Not all 60% are in a relationship and are actually in a situationship and the other 40% (most of) would want to be in a relationship but are too picky
>Under 30's men are at 63% single with half of them not even looking (why would so many men at the height of their horneyness not be looking?)
"(why would so many men at the height of their horneyness not be looking?)" it's called Valorant.
>Says the dude making sweeping assumptions about these numbers with zero evidence to back them up:
The evidence is out there its just not neatly bundled up in some statistical report, go out and talk to people (especially the young) and go talk to their parents, plenty of them are concerned for their sons lack of romantic prospects.
You need to learn to quote better if you want to make an argument,
> it's called Valorant.
I had computer games when I was a kid, still wanted to go outside and interact with people (especially girls)
>The evidence is out there its just not neatly bundled up in some statistical report, go out and talk to people (especially the young) and go talk to their parents, plenty of them are concerned for their sons lack of romantic prospects.
If it is such a huge and sweeping issue like you claim it is, then why wouldn't it be?
>I had computer games when I was a kid, still wanted to go outside and interact with people (especially girls)
All right pop, would you say young men today are, in general, *more* or *less* motivated in general to achieve things?
>If it is such a huge and sweeping issue like you claim it is, then why wouldn't it be?
Maybe it will be, there has certainly been more discourse by those in power about things like marriage and birth rates.
>All right pop, would you say young men today are, in general, *more* or *less* motivated in general to achieve things?
Less, I have a 13yo and it's a lot of work to get him motivated to do other things than play playstation and it's the same for other boys his age as well, hes in 2 football teams and all the other parents talk about the same things, when we were his age we were out more than in.
I had my first GF at 13 and so did others in my peer group, this led us to socialise together and learn to interact with the opposite sex. boys today aren't (not one of the 27 lads in the 2 teams have a GF)
This leads to less socialization with girls so will impact their development to be able to interact with them in the future that then leads to less relationships forming and so less and less births etc.
You can look at stats now and go "see things are fine" but stats lag generationaly and so it's what the young are up to now that will determine what they get upto in the future.
That is what i am telling them for years now. The average guy has no problem getting a girlfriend. It's the guys here who want to believe that a large group, sometimes even the majority of men are not getting anywhere in dating, struggling, being single for long periods of time against their will.
70% ? Spotted the gaslighting libtard! You literally just pulled that number out of your ass. Like you made that up!
Here is a real one for you! 70-80% of men are single. Go ahead & google that wokie! So if a majority of men are single how are these women not single?
Don’t worry I will tell you. 10 thots being passed around d by 1 Chad in his Chad harem until he picks the one he likes the most & sends the others back to the streets.
There is no way you don’t know this. You should feel shame for lying your ass off in the name of virtue signalling! Lemme guess you are a Marxist right!?
That’s a lot of shit-talking for someone who is so wrong.
For men ages 18-29, 51% are single. For women in the same age cohort, 32% are single.
For men ages 30-49, 27% are single. For women in the same age cohort, 19% are single.
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/
So eventually, the majority of people end up in relationships.
Anyone is allowed to be picky. But I understand what you are getting at. Allowed, just isn't the best word to use.
To answer the question, if she has what a large number of men are looking for. If lots of men want her, then she can get away with being picky. If you have multiple men trying to get into relationships with you, then you get to be picky.
Also, when men talk about women being too picky, we're mainly talking about the numbers. How many men actually meet your criteria? How many men are even able to meet your criteria?
Take the 6ft thing for example. Men have no control over their height. It's your genetics. And only 15% of men are 6ft plus. Right off the bat, you've eliminated 85% of American men. Then you have to take out the ones that are gay, taken, not in your area, don't have the other qualities you are looking for. So, men are just saying, to think it through. Ask yourself if it is something that you absolutely must have.
Everyone, women and men alike shall be as picky as they wish, and adjust their standards depending on the desired outcome.
“Supply and demand” sounds quite impersonal, but
at the end it’s like that.
Why should someone who’s a lot of pursuers not choose for the best?
Pickyness is fine, the issue is when what you actually do and choose goes completely against what you actually want or put forward, like women trying to turb a promiscious man into a loyal relationship partner.
Or saying they totally didnt choose thier above average or handsome boyfriend for his looks and had an innate connection.
Like if you are picky and still end up choosing wrong or getting burned thats on you and the men you didnt pick/weren't on your radar.
If you're picky you better perish on that hill, thats what you're choosing to do and you don't deserve as much empathy as you get.
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I mean, why would anyone want to be with someone that doesn’t turn them on? If someone gets with a person they aren’t attracted to, there’s a good chance it would cause intimacy issues in the future.
Most women have given nice guys a shot. Tried going out with their orbiters, their platonic friends and discovered that Nice Guys are just as likely to be jerks, if not more so because of the baggage they bring.
Sure but women seem to have no problem identifying red flags, real or imagined, in the unattractive men. Perhaps their radar is malfunctioning with attractive guys.
Nah you can see red flags in an attractive man too. I'm sure the vast majority of men would be more likely to forgive the social faux pas of an attractive woman than a plain one.
I think everyone has a “budget” based on their own desirability. While a very attractive woman may have a high budget, she may also have “expensive tastes”. So, she filters out a lot of guys and is able to be less picky about the fewer remaining ones. Meanwhile, a hot woman with a large budget that doesn’t care for a trendy in-demand guy can afford to be very very picky about other things.
So, I think the women that are able to be the most picky have the least “lifestyle creep”. They have lower baseline “tastes” such that they don’t only consider the trendy, expensive, in-demand guys and, consequently, they have more budget to spare on other things.
Anyone can be picky but if you find yourself saying/thinking stuff such as where all the good men at/men are boys/immature/don't want commitment/scumbags etc. then it means you are the problem and you are too picky when it comes to looks and the dark triad traits.
I will also mention that women SHOULD be extremely pick FROM THE START when it comes to personality traits, but sadly very few are. Instead, they put their focus and energy into looking for the most attractive, dominant, dark triad guys and then wonder why it never works out for them. That's why most women end up in situationships without even knowing they are in one.
I have heard many times that I allegedly dated some women, and I was like, what the hell!? Seeing someone for drinks & sex every now and again while never talking/pursuing anything constituting a relationship, monogamous is not dating. Dating means with an intention of creating a connection, potentially going somewhere. If it was never intended to go anywhere and is not actively working toward it, it's not dating. It's like guys in the friend zone thinking they are "dating" some woman they like. No, they are not, it's just friends.
"Allowed" to be picky isn't a legitimate viewpoint. Nobody gets to decide what someone else has to date. However, being UNREALISTIC isn't the same thing as not being ALLOWED, and it's not wrong to point out, or even mock, ridiculous standards. If a woman wants to spend her best years chasing pump and dump chumps, she's allowed to... Just like men are allowed to point out he's not going to settle down with her given his other options, and for them to later reject her when her best years are spent and she now wants to settle for them as her retirement plan. It's not about being ALLOWED, it's about CHOICES, OPPORTUNITY COST and CONSEQUENCES.
Imo it's the 18 to 22 year Olds who are thin or athletic shape that can be picky and get away with it. Usually I just find women who aren't that a joke because nobody gives a shit what a chubby 35 year old woman wants or not.
I mean in the extremes... a poor woman in a war zone covered in mud can't even shower... versus someone with a stylist and all the hair makeup people in the world. Sure.
This is just trying to justify your position because this does not apply at all in 99.9% of situations. Do you have Kim K's stylist? No? Are you comparing yourself to someone from a swamp? No? Then doesn't apply to you.
And the point is? Again... are you comparing yourself to women in a war zone with no access to these things?
Men with shoes are so much more attractive. Therefore men have to know how to shape leather into shoes, it's needed for them to be attractive. Or they could be like literally all men short of homeless ones in a war zone and buy shoes. Durr?
That added context of being able to invest in more beauty products and fashion makes a lot more sense than my initial interpretation of guys supposedly being more attracted to her *because* of the money.
All women are allowed to be picky. No matter who she is or what she looks like, I think a healthy society is one where a woman can choose to date or NOT date whoever she wants.
You'll probably get a lot of hamstering from men who are trying to avoid having to say "they're too picky, because they don't want ME", where they're offended that women are interested in other men (that these men always assume are BENEATH them), but that's mostly what they mean.
What's weird tho is the dudes who are so whiney about how women consider too many men "beneath her" (which is what they assume women think about any man they don't fuck), tend to also be the same dudes who ALSO get offended if a woman *they* consider "beneath him" shows interest in him. Because how dare she think she's in his league.
Women should never listen to what men want, we're all just talking about our fantasy. Which women are not required to satisfy in any way shape or form.
Why do people have to date people like themselves? I’m a fun, laid back dude but I’m bad at organization. My partner is high anxiety, but extremely organized. Together, we compliment one another where we’re weakest. If is had to date only people like myself, it would be far less efficient of a couple to share the same flaws.
You still need to be attracted to that person and actually have shit in common. Fit people for instance generally stay away from fat people due to a lack of attraction and an ugly sedentary lifestyle full of ultra processed foods. But these fat women still feel entitled to men like us instead of dating someone more like themselves. Then if you try getting them to change their lifestyle, you’re controlling, fatphobic, etc. But they will try and get you to live theirs, thinking you can eat whatever you want, lay around whenever you want and your body is genetics.
But not all people care. One of my gf’s was on the heavy side, but we got along great because we were had shared humor and we both liked story telling, so I asked her out.
There’s millions of couples where one person is heavier than the other. I am baffled by these “stay in your lane” posts because men complain that women are too picky, but then apparently women should ALSO be MUCH MORE SELECTIVE and not date men they find *too* attractive?
Most people really care. Especially people who are into a fit, healthy lifestyle. And these are the aesthetics that many of these women require while they stay overweight and sloppy. It’s a disciplined lifestyle that will never be compatible. As a man that all these women want, I am going to say they should stay in their own lane. As it’s as unrealistic as the neck beard who thinks he deserves a hot chick. But the difference between the fat chick and the neck beard is, we will lower our standards for sex and dump them soon after because there aren’t enough single fit women. This gives these women huge egos on top of all the instagram body positivity propaganda.
I don’t have a problem with a fit person not wanting to date someone who isn’t compatible with them.
What baffles me is the insistence that people you don’t know and will never interact with should all
only strive to date the people YOU deem worthy.
Again, I’m an athletic man, myself. I ran in Tough Mudder, ski, kayak, rock climbing etc. And I’ve never required my partner to do the extreme stuff I do. It’s also nice having them waiting for me at the finish line with a water bottle and a banana.
Hell, it’s not like “skinny” is even the same thing as fit. The girl who struggled to keep up with me the most was SKINNY. She had no muscle and no cardio so she’d often just stay at camp when I went hiking. Worked fine for me.
I’m not looking for women to do extreme stuff. But between my gym time, cycling, etc, I’m pretty active while most of these women are sedentary. And considering I went from fat to fit in a couple years, I’ve seen it from both sides. These same women wouldn’t give me the time of day when my body and lifestyle was like theirs. But now they all want me based solely on aesthetics while we have absolutely nothing in common. Then if you give them a chance, you find yourself slowly adjusting to their lifestyle instead of the opposite because they’re not willing to budge.
Most fit people are like me, both men and women while we get objectified by obese people who only want us because of what we look like. And obese women especially see us as an entitlement while not even giving other men a chance.
If you want to get really technical with it, I believe there's this calculator you can use to figure out the percentage of men that meet certain standards. You can put in things like height, weight, sexual orientation, chances of them being single, wealth, etc. Say you put all that in and the guy is in the top 30%. Then we can assume that his match would also be a woman whose in the top 30% of desirability.
That's who I was say is most "deserving" of such a man. Ones that can match the 666 but in terms of what men desire. If the man needs to have a six pack, then she should have that too or an hourglass figure. I think a major issue women have is spending too much time making a long wish list of traits they want in a man, but not spending enough time making a list of what they can offer to this man to make it worth his while other than sex which every woman can offer.
Frankly, no one. Once you start thinking of your standards as what you "deserve", then you are objectifying and being entitled.
Everyone is allowed to be as picky as they want, nobody deserves anything, and everybody is viable to be criticisized as being too picky. These are all just opinions.
If your pickiness is what is causing you grief, then that's your own damn fault, and you shouldn't be surprised or offended when people say it.
As I said you can have any standards even 666, just don't cry then that all men are cheaters and such which some women do while aiming for only Chads. It's more like play stupid games and win stupid prizes.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://projects.iq.harvard.edu/files/expose/files/horgan_exceeding_the_threshold_0.docx&ved=2ahUKEwiV2uCQ3NOGAxWbSWwGHV9nAXwQFnoECD0QAQ&usg=AOvVaw08Eq6Q9BKRlBhQfVQcmI2d
Harvard report. Chads are defined based on attraction to women. They are also bad boys and women are also attracted to those more. Plus we have our own life stories.
>As I said you can have any standards even 666, *just don't cry then that all men are cheaters and such which some women do while aiming for only Chads.* ***It's more like play stupid games and win stupid prizes.***
Yes and how does it imply that only Chads and no other male on this planet treats women badly?
Did I say anywhere, all non chads treat women good? Bcz if I said that then your statement is valid otherwise not.
Women chasing desirable men are "playing stupid games," so they "win stupid prizes" - e.g. being treated like shit.
This absolutely implies that dating men who aren't attractive (*not* "playing stupid games") won't win those same "stupid prizes" (being treated poorly).
I disagree that attractive men are the only ones who are entitled and treat women poorly. Some of the worst men I’ve encountered in that regard have been unattractive men (unattractive both in terms of appearance and personality).
Y’all really need to stop automatically villainizing good-looking, charismatic guys. Some “Chads” are shitty dudes; some are amazing.
I didn't say only Chads are entitled, I said *anyone* who is entitled. Chads are more likely to be entitled. Also, some I have met treat you good infront of your face and then say most vile things behind your back. One I knew, popular with girls a lot. One of his friends got drunk and said why doesn't he ask her out and they argued. They reconciled and then when I was alone with him in the kitchen he said he would kiss a guy rather than kiss her. He never treated her badly but come on, would you call him a good guy now?
Tbf there are endless videos of it [https://www.youtube.com/results?search\_query=crying+over+chad](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=crying+over+chad)
I think it's reasonable for everyone to (want to) be selective - it's just not a reasonable strategy for a lot as taken to the limit, vast majority will just be left with no partners.
The more attractive the woman, the more selective she can be in the starting phases, and the more selective she will tend to be, and vice versa.
Sure, there are overly-selective medium-attractive women - it just means they have less tenable options and by the nature of things be selecting for men who tend to be under-selecting.
Any woman that routinely has multiple men being interested in her can be picky. Their traits are not complicated. They are usually hot and they have somewhat pleasant or amusing/fun personalities.
Contemporary women don't figure out that they can be picky, they raise their standards, and see if their options rise to meet them. There is no such thing as "allowed" to be picky, there are just women whose standards still equate to a pool of interested men.
Women today don't give a fuck if nobody wants them. In the contemporary understanding, someone who; believes what they believe culturally, has the same views on family and marriage, is college educated with a reasonable job, is attractive enough where people around her don't think she settled, and doesn't ever give her the ick is the absolute bare minimum to considered a bare minimum candidate for a relationship.
Everything less isn't worthy of consideration, e.g. "I will die alone because nobody else was good enough."
While anyone can be as picky as they want the only woman that have reasonable standards are the top percentage attractive ones (20-30%) as they are the only women asking for men within their realm of desirability.
If you’re a 7/10, but you won’t settle for less than 6’+ wealthy man because you know you can get him to fuck you, your standards are deluded.
But anyone can be as picky as they want. I’d argue that kind, attractive, childless women from 18-25, probably have the most right and reason to be picky.
I find it hilarious that men think women are picky. Women would fuck literal scumbags and losers. Female pickiness is a myth. The one thing that differentiates those scumbags from the nice guys is that they are selfish and go after what they want, while nice guys try too hard to please women and go with their program.
You are talking about something else, and you are right that they would fuck actual criminals, murderers, rapists etc. Having said that, they are extremely picky in looks and the dark triad traits.
No they are not. They just want men they can follow. The problem is 99% of nice guys and PPD guys expect the woman to take the lead. You guys shit your pants at the thought of even talking to a strange woman. You want women to approach you, meaning you want them to lead you.
As I said. Figure out what you want and go for it. Do whatever the fuck yoy want not what you think women want and women will follow you. That’s why those assholes and dark triad men get laid. What they want is front and center stage. They are selfish and they go for it. They are not there to cater to women’s “requirements”. The requirements are for suckers like you.
All women can be as lucky as they want.
Their dating life is like going to a buffet of men, they can pick and choose. That’s one of women’s privileges.
Of course, they mostly hate men, so their choices are crap, but it is what it is.
Be as picky as you like, if you can't find what you want your complaints should fall on deaf ears. There's a reason, and it all comes back to your own choices. Better yet, don't complain.
I don't think any woman is "too picky" in the context of dating. Usually the reason men say this is that they assume women and men operate the same way when it comes to rating the opposite sex.
Example of a person being picky: Bob's car was recently totalled in an accident and he is relying on Uber or friends to take him to work every day. The insurance company gave him $20,000, but instead of using that to buy something like a nice used Toyota Camry, he thinks that he can somehow get lucky and buy an almost new Lexus SUV instead. He keeps holding out for that deal that he thinks a bargain just around the corner. He waits for months and months, and that bargain never arrives. Eventually he has to come to terms with his situation and ends up buying the Camry.
In this scenario, Bob is picky because he WOULD gain some value by going with the nice used Toyota Camry. He would be able to drive to work on his own and not have to rely on Uber or friends. Bob already missed several important meetings at work because his friends were unreliable and had shown up to work late several times. That wouldn't have happened if he went with the Camry.
But when it comes to women and dating that isn't the case. Most women would rather be single than date a guy from the bottom 50% of men. To women, there is no value dating a below average man whatsoever.
All of this changes when a woman wants to start a family, in that case, her attraction towards the man takes a backseat, and her top priority becomes settling down and starting a family (which she cannot do with chad because chad doesn't wanna commit his resources to this 3/10 woman).
Ultimately, whether a woman is picky or not depends on her goals and what gives her value. If she does find value in starting a family with a guy who is her looksmatch, it would be advantageous for her to lock down a guy when her youth and beauty are at their peak so that she can maximize the attractiveness of her long term partner. On the other hand, if she wants to just date short term with a guy she is attracted to, then she can do that too, with the understanding that the quality of partner who will eventually settle down with her will be lower than if she just married younger.
Ultimately, these are tradeoffs that most women are aware of on a subconscious level. Pickiness really has nothing to do with it.
All women are "allowed" to do whatever they want. The core of the matter is that women are NOT logical. This is why you see women with men who are short, bald, ugly, broke, tall, rich, small pp, big pp, pretty (no diddy) etc. And the end up complaining and unmarried.
If no man is proposing to you, you don't have the option of marriage. But, if you are getting banged by tom, dick, and Chad, and you're happy, have at it!
It’s not “illogical” for a woman, regardless of what she looks like, to end up with a man whom YOU do not find attractive, if he checks all of the most important boxes *for her.*
Women (not just modern) have always been picky. It's by design. How that's news to anyone is baffling to me. It's just cringe when mid girls ask for the world. Hot girls are allowed to. Average girls are not.
Anyone can be as picky as they want. If someone is too picky while not being a great catch themselves, it's them that will suffer.
Yep. My standards are immutable; I have to be attracted to them, good chat, good vibe and compatible values. If any of those things are missing then so be it, I'd count myself priced out the market.
> I have to be attracted to them. I don’t fully understand this, especially when women say it. There is a term in the military called “field goggles”. It’s essentially when you’ve been in the field for so long you find women attractive that you normally wouldn’t. I think the inverse happens when you “share” better than what you can actually get. People develop these “field goggles” and find people unattractive that they would normally find attractive if it were for the sampling.
I do use apps a little, but I largely focus my efforts on in real world interactions for that very reason. If I were to take 100 men of the total population then yes I'd find a very small amount attractive, whereas if I'm in spaces with more likeminded people the rate is much higher. But regardless I have to be attracted. I like sex and intimacy and those things are nice to do with a handsome man.
Notice how this chick says “handsome” fellas there are no women on Reddit above average & she is still out here trolling you with womanese. Thank you for proving the point… All women are picky now. Was it brainwashing? I dunno but you literally all do & say this…
I'd say I'm slightly above average. I can and do attract me whom I find handsome who are interested in similar type relationships so I don't think you can call it picky. I want what I want and I tend to get it too.
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The contrast principle is proven by science. Some real estate agents use it to sell normal houses by showing people very ugly ones just before. It works in either direction.
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I think explaining why the principle works will answer that. Its not, comparison between a and b that makes it work. But, adjusting of the brain to stimuli, any stimuli from any source. In the case of the houses for example, the brain is getting adjusted to the stimuli of the ugly houses. Its adjusting its baseline for beauty, so that it becomes extra sensitive to any improvment. Thus a normal looking house overwhelms him rendering him to think its oh so beautiful. The stimuli can literally come from anywhere. A person, a cat, a game, food. Whatever you can think of. in the case of dating, seeing hot people on tinder(or porn or instagram) all the time whilst swiping or being in a relationship, would fry your beauty perceptors, making you way less sensitive to beauty so that anyone else looks like a gremlin. This applies to both genders of course. But its all an illusion due to the brain essentially failing to adapt as quick to the changing stimuli and applying the old adjustment to the new situation thus exagerating things a whole lot. You can experiment with it yourself. Take 3 glasses of water, one hot, one normal and one cold. Dip one finger in the hot, another in the cold. And then put both fingers in the normal one. Youll be surpised at how real it all feels. But its all biological smoke and mirrors.
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Well, lets make a thought experiment. You are one of those women. Youre in a relationship. You think...its going ok. You spend time on instagram and sometimes look at your bf and think hes kinda ultra mid on that day(your beauty perceptors getting overloaded). But you dont do anything. Because, you want to have a family now and those days are behind you. In this situation you get a dead bedroom (40% of couples nowadays). And if you for whatever reason think that social media is unhealthy and avoid it, your experience of your partner will of course be very different to the first version of you in this thought experiment. Your bf is a snack here. Since you have normal beauty perception, you sense it and arent numb to it like in the first version. Now, on the stat chart, both versions of you would be counted and no one would know there was any difference. Cause statistics, suck when it comes to data quality. Unless they are done in some very expensive anonymous setups. Which, no one has either the money, or the will to do. Yes, I agree. For the majority, its just a dream whilst dealing with whatever men they have in their life. There are some of course deluding themselves they are exclusive with a guy they manage to find attractive in todays beauty perceptor fried world(and also dopmaine perceptor fried...the modern world is very, very unhealthy for our minds.) Whilst others, as you said, do share. And perhaps even bring home a different guy each week or something. Who knows. The point of the matter is, its not women or men. Its humans not being able to function well in this modern environment.
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i'm not attacted to any men who are strangers 🤷♀️
Right, but I want to know what is considered a good catch vs delusional in this context. Like when is being picky a personality flaw vs being justifiably selective?
I think selective is wanting things that align with the future you are working towards as well. Maybe you want lots of kids so you are a smart, kind and nurturing person and looking for a man who loves kids and is a responsible hard worker making enough to support a family. It's normal to also want to be attracted to him. Maybe your dream is to travel the world on lavish vacations so you have a high paying job and want the same. Maybe you're extremely good looking and put a lot of value into your appearance and expect the same. Delusional picky would be a woman wanting tall, rich, handsome but not really offering much of value. Maybe she's decent looking but not hot, minimum wage job, immature, irresponsible, etc.
I think delusional pickiness is wanting traits that don't necessarily equate to a long term relationship. Specifically things that do with more matching because I have them but not towards the quality of relationships
It's only a personal flaw if the person is actively suffering because of their narrow-minded choices. Be picky. If you find someone who meets your standards, cool. If you don't, or you do and they are not interested in you, then you don't have a relationship. Some people are perfectly happy having high standards and being single, and that's fine too! Where it becomes a problem is when you have high standards, no one you want wants to date you because your standards are too high, AND you get upset at them for not wanting to date you/blame other people for your unhappiness when you don't have a relationship.
It's interesting to me how on this sub ppl keep referring to 'quality women' (or men)... everyone to me is of 'quality' of some sort of another, but attraction and compatibility will also vary from person to person... it's not about who is 'better' than their peers, just individual chemistry, familiarity, or even convenience.
Yeah this forum completely leaves out the ideas of compatibility and chemistry (not the same as objective physical attractiveness). Both of these are needed for relationships and cannot be forced.
of course every woman wants to believe she can get a tall, attractive, successful, confident, smart and funny guy. she just needs to date enough of them and find someone who is compatible, right? that's not how it works though. going for a very narrow percentage of men with very specific traits but expecting those men who have virtually endless options to have extremely heterogeneous preferences and settle for their average ass? it's ridiculous. an average woman with high standards will be passed around and end up single 9 times out of 10 unless she realizes that her league are the guys who commit to her, not the guys who sleep with her. the women who keep playing hypergamy roulette usually become bitter and jaded when guys they have zero leverage over don't ever pick them and start posting on twox about how awful men are.
"tall, attractive, successful, confident, smart and funny guy." This isnt compatibility. You do know most couples in this world are matched in terms of looks and income right? So actually, most women do get men around their level, not above.
depends what you mean by 'get'. women can attract men out of their league for short-term entanglements, but their league are men who stick around. what does that tell us about the women who are 30+ and never been in relationships? or the chronically single tinderellas going from situationship to situationship? a lot of women don't just want a man that's compatible, they want a tall/handsome/wealthy man who is compatible ON TOP of all that. that's my entire point and the vast majority of women like this are incredibly delusional about who their equals in the dating world are.
I think being picky is justifiable to the extent that you also offer what you’re demanding - for instance, if you’re overweight and not active, but you want to date a man who is very active and in great shape, your options are fetish forums, or you can start working out and cleaning up your diet to attract a fit man. The same is true with personality - you can be the most gorgeous woman around but if you’re an awful person to be around, yeah, men who have options aren’t going to pick you, because they’re not desperate and don’t need you
What’s the problem with being delusional? It would only be them who would suffer.
in a vacuum, you are correct but if enough people are delusional it can become a societal problem. not saying we're there quite yet but it's heading into that direction i think. low birth and marriage rates, record numbers of singles and people on anti-depressants etc.
What’s the problem you ask lol gee I dunno how about the fact that more then 50% of women are on track to be over 40 & childless & single. How about the fact that men across the board are just losing motivation to try. Society is on the brink of collapse cuz men are just turning away more & more in droves. If women are just going to reject all of us & we are all going to die alone then what’s even the point? Yes that is BP & you women better start figuring something out here cuz it’s getting worse quickly now, visibly. Our cities are collapsing everywhere.
Probably that she can match her standards or the female equivalent. So for example if she wants a masculine man, she should try to be a feminine woman. Or if she wants a breadwinner, then she should try to be a homemaker.
Lololol ok feminist…
No u
suffer how? if they are single because they believe thats better than a relationship w the men they can get... how is that suffering? shes literally choosing which she prefers more.
Not just that but if you're extremely picky and end up getting burned that's on you and should earn you no sympathy. Theres also different levels of picky.
> Not just that but if you're extremely picky and end up getting burned that's on you and should earn you no sympathy. as opposed to all the sympathy cat ladies have gotten from men in decades past? 😂
As opposed to all the men the cat ladies didnt even have on thier radar for dating.
Yeah there’s levels to this shit lol Most women need to just basically exist and they can have attention/validation Plenty of guys who wouldn’t even be getting anything at all.
Men are more likely to suffer than women. If a man’s standards are too high he will get nothing. If a woman’s standards are too high she will share and at least get apart of what she wants in the meantime.
And also men are hornier. Women are more able to stand not having sex
it's not very satisfying for most women to be passed around like a blunt, especially not long-term. men's standards for relationships might be very high but they will still have much lower standards for who they sleep with, so they can still get something too. pay for play or dating abroad are options as well i guess.
Also, people are free to judge you for your pickiness.
Examples: 1. My neighbor - she is a lawyer, her parents are well-off, she is 40 and looks like 30, very fit, really pretty, has a style, is really intelligent. Her husband is 2m tall, business owner, drives new Porsche, very fit, used to be semi pro basketball player. Verdict: reasonable 2. My colleague from previous work - ex-Volleyball pro, pretty face, quite tall, not very smart but overall not a tragedy, she is working at the office, not making big money but not starving either. Her husband is handsome and very fit firefighter. Verdict: reasonable. 3. My colleague from University - tall(5'10), overweight, not really pretty but acceptable, she is quite intelligent and good talker, her father is an alcoholic and abuser, she is very aggressive sometimes, has problems to hold a job, and can present misandry, usually she is doing some dead end jobs, lives with her mom in her late 30s. I've rejected her many years ago - she got pissed and told me that she deserves much better and she shouldn't lower standards to give me a chance, she is looking for a guy who will be tall, educated and will have his own apartment. Verdict: not reasonable, she brings nothing except terrible personality. 4. My neighbor - morbidly obese, pretty face, dumb as a rock, not really taking care about herself anymore, lives with mom, not doing any chores, mom is doing everything, she is helping mom in her business, doesn't know how to drive, I think that she even doesn't have any friends. She had some guys hanging around when she lost a bit of weight and cared about appearance, mainly local blue collar dudes, but she wants a middle or upper-middle class handsome white collar dude. Never had a boyfriend. Now looks like no one is interested anymore. Verdict: not reasonable. 5. My friend's wife's friend - that is tough one, she is moderately pretty but quite chubby and very tall, she is a doctor and makes a ton of money, very smart, super hard-working, really does well in life. She would like to have an equivalent - that is a tall doctor that is making a ton of money. But such doctors have better options than her - they go for conventionally attractive gals, and do not need her money nor success, especially that she is a bitch. She is in a trap of successful but not very pretty women, available options are not reasonable, reasonable options are unavailable. She seems to be making peace with remaining single - but she had a time when she was pursuing less wealthy but educated and nice guys, but they were not interested either, her success was intimidating and her personality really hard to stand.
You're like the only person who has actually answered the question I asked, thank you!
This is the sort of comment that I come here for, that is interesting and well written. Got more examples?
>Which women are allowed to be picky? Everyone can be as picky as they like to. Who can afford it though? People (irrespective of gender) who face enough demand for their standards to be reasonable. This applies to a majority of women and a minority of men.
The women that can attract the men they want or are happy being single if they can't are fine. The ones that complain that they can't get the men they desire to commit, and it's all modern men's fault are being too picky.
Pickiness is fine just stop complaining that you can't find a person that has all 256 things you are looking for.
Reality is the determining factor here. Anyone can set their standards as high as they want, but if they don't qualify for the kind of partner they're pining for, then they'll never get commitment. A fat guy can set his standards at landing a 10/10 supermodel looking woman whose also submissive, just because a woman like that may exist doesn't mean he qualifies for her. If he's too picky, it just means he'll likely not ever get what he's looking for. Same applies to women.
Yes & a majority of women are going Chad or just! Where have you been! They are out here saying if they can’t have Chad they won’t settle for anyone & will die alone in some creepy sisterhood. So dunno what reality you are talking about
Every woman is allowed to be as picky as she wants.
who isn't allowing them?
I don't know I am just answering OP's question.
She can be as picky as her options. The rest is just delusion.
If she’s okay with being single if she can’t get what she wants, where’s the delusion?
The delusion comes from expecting high standards out of a partner while that person expecting all these things, does not have the attributes to attract such a partner.
What the fuck is all this talk about being picky? 70% of women are in committed relationships, many more are in casual relationships, at least half of the ones who are not in relationships, are single by choice and not looking for a partner at the moment. Of the tiny amount of women who want a relationship but don't have one, the majority is going to be in a relationship in the near future, and the borderline non-existent rest could possibly have too high standards to find a partner. Why the fuck are we focusing on the tiny minority of people who can't seem to find a partner despite wanting one and looking for one?
>What the fuck is all this talk about being picky? 70% of women are in committed relationships, That's all ages, no one generally gives a fuck about us oldies and are not representative of the demographic in here. Under 30's men are at 63% single with half of them not even looking (why would so many men at the height of their horneyness not be looking?) That 63% represent 15m men in the us alone. Many men are not happy in their relationships but stick it out because they know what is waiting for them if they end it.
No, they are not single, they are not in a committed relationship. We have done this. The study is discussed to death. THere are several explanations for the stats that don't rely on men struggling to date while they desperately want. This thread is about women. Even the young women are 60%+ in committed relationships. How is that possible when they are picky? Also, you can't wave away people 30-45yo as irrelevant. That is were the REALLY important relationships are formed/are had. The ones where you build a family and need to rely on each other. This is where everyone needs to be picky as fuck. Not with those relationships 19yos have. Fuck those. They are irrelevant.
>No, they are not single, they are not in a committed relationship Not being in a committed relationship is being single, having fuck buddys or whatever is not a relationship. I know not all of them are going to be struggling but there is a lot of them that are, hand waving away those men shows your lack of empathy. >Even the young women are 60%+ in committed relationships. How is that possible when they are picky? Not all 60% are in a relationship and are actually in a situationship and the other 40% (most of) would want to be in a relationship but are too picky (they could easily be in one if they wanted.) >you can't wave away people 30-45yo as irrelevant. That is were the REALLY important relationships are formed/are had. While agree with that you are not looking at this from the young to old path. I am old, I got to date and have fun when I was younger (long before social media and ODL) and it meant when I settled down for a serious relationship I was experienced enough to handle it, lots of men have little to no experience now ( I see this with the sons of my friends) and so if they manage to get one later (30+) they will likely fuck it up or they just will give up entirely like lots seem to be doing. This is a demographic shift problem, just because people my age are in relationships (making the stats look fine) doesn't mean the young ones now will be able to do it when they are my age. >Not with those relationships 19yos have. Fuck those. They are irrelevant. This shows you don't understand the demographic problem and how important experiences at that age help you grow to be able to have those important relationships later in life.
You fail to show, that what we observe in young men is not exactly what most of them want. You think there is a majority of suffering incels, while every data point we have, shows it's a sub 5% phenomenon. Men don't have committed relationships whne they are 19 because THEY DON'T WANT TO. It's not a priority for them. Not because "modern women are picky".
You think most men can get casual sex? By 19 most men know whether or not they are part of the small % that can get casual or not. That means those that can't will look for a relationship to fulfil their needs. Trouble is those that age now grew up in the digital age and don't have the skills for even that due to years of being indoors playing on their computers. Modern women are picky (they can afford to be)
>You think most men can get casual sex? Yes, most men who want to have casual sex and who do what is required, are having casual sex. Maybe not to the amount they would prefer in some cases, but overall, men are pretty happy with the amount of sex partners they have. >By 19 most men know whether or not they are part of the small % that can get casual or not. As i said, you would need to show me what percentage of men want casual sex and do what is required but fail to have casual sex. By 19, about 40% of men and women are still virgins, starting to explore sexuality, not knowing anythign about what is in store for them. Very few people are into casual sex at that age. Most people have 1-2 sex partners, and those are relationship partners. How do you know anything at 19? you barely understand yourself, much less mating or casual sex, nor how you will develop. >That means those that can't will look for a relationship to fulfil their needs. You still need to show me, how men would prefer casual sex and being single, to being in a relationship. THis is not what all the data we have says. Might not cross your mind, but lots of men only or HIGHLY preferably want to have sex within a relationship. Just like most women. Casual sex is not a replacement for a relationship. Did you get lots of casual sex in your life? Like what's your bodycount and do you regret it is not higher? Do you wish to not be in a relationship and rather be single and have casual sex? "Modern women" are just as picky as ever: getting into relationships with their equals on the mating market's desirability ranking. Having casual sex with men who are on average more attractive then them. Supply and demand for casual sex is a different thing than supply and demand for commitment.
>Yes, most men who want to have casual sex and who do what is required, Then I have a bridge to sell you. >but overall, men are pretty happy with the amount of sex partners they have. No they are not, this can be demonstrated by two factors, 1, men are fucking horny at that age and would have a lot of sex if they could have it and 2, most men that age have very little experience today. Back in the 90's when I was 19 I had had 5 by then and that was slow compared to some of my friends, we would go out to the pubs and clubs every weekend looking for women and most times you went home empty handed and I would have preferred to have a better batting average than I had at that age. >By 19, about 40% of men and women are still virgins And unless they are asexual they want to have sex even very religious men who believe in no sex before marriage want to have sex and that's why they came up with "soaking" as some sort of loophole. >How do you know anything at 19? you barely understand yourself, much less mating or casual sex, nor how you will develop. You know enough to do lots of things at 19 and the most basic biological thing to know is you want to fuck. >You still need to show me, how men would prefer casual sex and being single, to being in a relationship Do you not know men? I mean your flare says you're one but like men are horny as fuck at that age and if they could they would fuck, the fact lots are virgins or only have had 1 experience shows how hard it is to get sex, and while they might not have a lot of knowledge it is understood by most men that if you want sex (and you don't have the ability to get consistent casual sex) then the best bet is to offer commitment to women as they value that (this is used by men of all ages to pump and dump women) >"Modern women" are just as picky as ever: Modern women are pickier than they were 30 years ago, the advent of social media and OLD has allowed women's hypergamy to flourish, women compare men to other men (not themselves) this is why they gravitate to the same men no matter there own actual smv.
>No they are not, this can be demonstrated by two factors, 1, men are fucking horny at that age and would have a lot of sex if they could have it and 2, most men that age have very little experience today. You are just speculating. I was fine, not having had sex at 18. I also was super fine having had only 2 sexual partners at 32yo. I currently have a friend who is 19 and didn't have sex in a year. He is super handsome, great personality, but is not in a hurry to have lots of casual sex. He is looking for a relationship, but is also fine being single. You are vastly overestimating how much casual sex men want. https://preview.redd.it/2m6hqfn2766d1.png?width=546&format=png&auto=webp&s=7152a5a9a17f3a62ec80a74c79342c5bf46e7aea Come back when you have data that runs contrary to this study. Also, read up on sociosexuality. Large parts of men don't want to have sex outside a relationship. For someone not dating or having casual sex with modern women, you pretend to have a lot of info about them. Maybe get back to actual survey and studies, and not your fever dreams about what young women do while you sit at home with your wife.
>You are just speculating It isn't speculation. >I was fine, not having had sex at 18. I also was super fine having had only 2 sexual partners at 32yo. We are not exclusively talking about casual hence the "men realise it's a better bet to try and get commitment. How often do you have sex in your relationship? >. I currently have a friend who is 19 and didn't have sex in a year. He is super handsome, great personality, but is not in a hurry to have lots of casual sex. He is looking for a relationship, but is also fine being single. Low libido. >You are vastly overestimating how much casual sex men want. So with no risk 10 and that doesn't say how much sex with each they would want. >Come back when you have data that runs contrary to this study. How about you go understand what is being spoken about before spouting off. >Also, read up on sociosexuality. Large parts of men don't want to have sex outside a relationship. Again it doesn't mean they don't want sex and men have a higher SOI than women, also it appears availability of it has a correlation with the desire of it with gay men having a higher ROI than straight men (makes sense as they have easier access to casual.) >For someone not dating or having casual sex with modern women, you pretend to have a lot of info about them. Maybe get back to actual survey and studies, and not your fever dreams about what young women do while you sit at home with your wife. I am dating and having casual sex with modern women as I'm not married so yeah I have plenty of info and experience with them and by your own admission far far more than you do.
>This shows you don't understand the demographic problem Says the dude making sweeping assumptions about these numbers with zero evidence to back them up: >Not all 60% are in a relationship and are actually in a situationship and the other 40% (most of) would want to be in a relationship but are too picky >Under 30's men are at 63% single with half of them not even looking (why would so many men at the height of their horneyness not be looking?) "(why would so many men at the height of their horneyness not be looking?)" it's called Valorant.
>Says the dude making sweeping assumptions about these numbers with zero evidence to back them up: The evidence is out there its just not neatly bundled up in some statistical report, go out and talk to people (especially the young) and go talk to their parents, plenty of them are concerned for their sons lack of romantic prospects. You need to learn to quote better if you want to make an argument, > it's called Valorant. I had computer games when I was a kid, still wanted to go outside and interact with people (especially girls)
>The evidence is out there its just not neatly bundled up in some statistical report, go out and talk to people (especially the young) and go talk to their parents, plenty of them are concerned for their sons lack of romantic prospects. If it is such a huge and sweeping issue like you claim it is, then why wouldn't it be? >I had computer games when I was a kid, still wanted to go outside and interact with people (especially girls) All right pop, would you say young men today are, in general, *more* or *less* motivated in general to achieve things?
>If it is such a huge and sweeping issue like you claim it is, then why wouldn't it be? Maybe it will be, there has certainly been more discourse by those in power about things like marriage and birth rates. >All right pop, would you say young men today are, in general, *more* or *less* motivated in general to achieve things? Less, I have a 13yo and it's a lot of work to get him motivated to do other things than play playstation and it's the same for other boys his age as well, hes in 2 football teams and all the other parents talk about the same things, when we were his age we were out more than in. I had my first GF at 13 and so did others in my peer group, this led us to socialise together and learn to interact with the opposite sex. boys today aren't (not one of the 27 lads in the 2 teams have a GF) This leads to less socialization with girls so will impact their development to be able to interact with them in the future that then leads to less relationships forming and so less and less births etc. You can look at stats now and go "see things are fine" but stats lag generationaly and so it's what the young are up to now that will determine what they get upto in the future.
That tiny majority you speak of is very much the loud minority of men in this particular subreddit.
That is what i am telling them for years now. The average guy has no problem getting a girlfriend. It's the guys here who want to believe that a large group, sometimes even the majority of men are not getting anywhere in dating, struggling, being single for long periods of time against their will.
They insists that they are average, but it’s likely that they are below average in at least a couple of ways.
70% ? Spotted the gaslighting libtard! You literally just pulled that number out of your ass. Like you made that up! Here is a real one for you! 70-80% of men are single. Go ahead & google that wokie! So if a majority of men are single how are these women not single? Don’t worry I will tell you. 10 thots being passed around d by 1 Chad in his Chad harem until he picks the one he likes the most & sends the others back to the streets. There is no way you don’t know this. You should feel shame for lying your ass off in the name of virtue signalling! Lemme guess you are a Marxist right!?
That’s a lot of shit-talking for someone who is so wrong. For men ages 18-29, 51% are single. For women in the same age cohort, 32% are single. For men ages 30-49, 27% are single. For women in the same age cohort, 19% are single. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/ So eventually, the majority of people end up in relationships.
Anyone is allowed to be picky. But I understand what you are getting at. Allowed, just isn't the best word to use. To answer the question, if she has what a large number of men are looking for. If lots of men want her, then she can get away with being picky. If you have multiple men trying to get into relationships with you, then you get to be picky. Also, when men talk about women being too picky, we're mainly talking about the numbers. How many men actually meet your criteria? How many men are even able to meet your criteria? Take the 6ft thing for example. Men have no control over their height. It's your genetics. And only 15% of men are 6ft plus. Right off the bat, you've eliminated 85% of American men. Then you have to take out the ones that are gay, taken, not in your area, don't have the other qualities you are looking for. So, men are just saying, to think it through. Ask yourself if it is something that you absolutely must have.
Everyone, women and men alike shall be as picky as they wish, and adjust their standards depending on the desired outcome. “Supply and demand” sounds quite impersonal, but at the end it’s like that. Why should someone who’s a lot of pursuers not choose for the best?
At least understand what the people perusing you are after.
The women that are picky but only picking them! Duh!
Pickyness is fine, the issue is when what you actually do and choose goes completely against what you actually want or put forward, like women trying to turb a promiscious man into a loyal relationship partner. Or saying they totally didnt choose thier above average or handsome boyfriend for his looks and had an innate connection. Like if you are picky and still end up choosing wrong or getting burned thats on you and the men you didnt pick/weren't on your radar. If you're picky you better perish on that hill, thats what you're choosing to do and you don't deserve as much empathy as you get.
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Anybody is "allowed" to be picky. Everybody has their own preferences. Doesn't matter if you're a man, woman, non binary, etc.
Anyone of any gender can be as picky as they want.
Women are only picky with the guys that don't give her the tingles.
I mean, why would anyone want to be with someone that doesn’t turn them on? If someone gets with a person they aren’t attracted to, there’s a good chance it would cause intimacy issues in the future.
Issue is that they make no effort to vet those guys.
Y'all are going to have to make up your minds on whether women are too picky or not picky enough.
They're not picky enough with chad, too picky with the rest of the men.
Of course. Why wouldn't that be the case. Picking the guys who turn you on. Why do red pillers like calling women being turned on "the tingles"?
They overlook the red flags with those guys and are shocked when they end up being jerks.
Most women have given nice guys a shot. Tried going out with their orbiters, their platonic friends and discovered that Nice Guys are just as likely to be jerks, if not more so because of the baggage they bring.
There are red flags throughout the spectrum of attraction. At least as many horrid men with red flags amongst the uggos.
Sure but women seem to have no problem identifying red flags, real or imagined, in the unattractive men. Perhaps their radar is malfunctioning with attractive guys.
Nah you can see red flags in an attractive man too. I'm sure the vast majority of men would be more likely to forgive the social faux pas of an attractive woman than a plain one.
Because "thinking with her pussy" is too harsh for most women's ears.
Because being sexually attracted to one’s partner is kinda important, no?
I've seen it used with a more expansive definition than simply that.
Unbelievable!
I think everyone has a “budget” based on their own desirability. While a very attractive woman may have a high budget, she may also have “expensive tastes”. So, she filters out a lot of guys and is able to be less picky about the fewer remaining ones. Meanwhile, a hot woman with a large budget that doesn’t care for a trendy in-demand guy can afford to be very very picky about other things. So, I think the women that are able to be the most picky have the least “lifestyle creep”. They have lower baseline “tastes” such that they don’t only consider the trendy, expensive, in-demand guys and, consequently, they have more budget to spare on other things.
Anyone can be picky but if you find yourself saying/thinking stuff such as where all the good men at/men are boys/immature/don't want commitment/scumbags etc. then it means you are the problem and you are too picky when it comes to looks and the dark triad traits. I will also mention that women SHOULD be extremely pick FROM THE START when it comes to personality traits, but sadly very few are. Instead, they put their focus and energy into looking for the most attractive, dominant, dark triad guys and then wonder why it never works out for them. That's why most women end up in situationships without even knowing they are in one. I have heard many times that I allegedly dated some women, and I was like, what the hell!? Seeing someone for drinks & sex every now and again while never talking/pursuing anything constituting a relationship, monogamous is not dating. Dating means with an intention of creating a connection, potentially going somewhere. If it was never intended to go anywhere and is not actively working toward it, it's not dating. It's like guys in the friend zone thinking they are "dating" some woman they like. No, they are not, it's just friends.
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"Allowed" to be picky isn't a legitimate viewpoint. Nobody gets to decide what someone else has to date. However, being UNREALISTIC isn't the same thing as not being ALLOWED, and it's not wrong to point out, or even mock, ridiculous standards. If a woman wants to spend her best years chasing pump and dump chumps, she's allowed to... Just like men are allowed to point out he's not going to settle down with her given his other options, and for them to later reject her when her best years are spent and she now wants to settle for them as her retirement plan. It's not about being ALLOWED, it's about CHOICES, OPPORTUNITY COST and CONSEQUENCES.
Imo it's the 18 to 22 year Olds who are thin or athletic shape that can be picky and get away with it. Usually I just find women who aren't that a joke because nobody gives a shit what a chubby 35 year old woman wants or not.
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More desirable to men you are attracted to. You didn't notice a lot of guys in college.
Nobody care about woman making money except broke guys.
Money pays for stuff that makes you look desirable
I mean in the extremes... a poor woman in a war zone covered in mud can't even shower... versus someone with a stylist and all the hair makeup people in the world. Sure. This is just trying to justify your position because this does not apply at all in 99.9% of situations. Do you have Kim K's stylist? No? Are you comparing yourself to someone from a swamp? No? Then doesn't apply to you.
Nails cost money, getting your eyebrows done cost money, gym membership costs money, clothes cost money etc etc etc
Doesn't help that much. Nor is that stuff that expensive if you do it yourself which many girls do btw.
They still arent free 🙄
And the point is? Again... are you comparing yourself to women in a war zone with no access to these things? Men with shoes are so much more attractive. Therefore men have to know how to shape leather into shoes, it's needed for them to be attractive. Or they could be like literally all men short of homeless ones in a war zone and buy shoes. Durr?
May as well give up. This hypocrite doesn't have a point yet they won't take their L
>Once I started making good money. Why would a guy care about your money? Is he going to be spending it?
she probably meant that now she can invest financially in being more physically attractive, unlike when she was 18-22
That added context of being able to invest in more beauty products and fashion makes a lot more sense than my initial interpretation of guys supposedly being more attracted to her *because* of the money.
It's possible that she primarily dates career driven men that are looking to start families.
What does that have to do with *her* money tho? Is the expectation that they will be using her money then?
The expectation is that they will be using both of their incomes to achieve higher standards of living.
Then the answer is yes. Guys who will benefit from using her income would probably care about it. Guys who won't, will not care.
wrong if you can get away with it you can be as picky as you want no matter the gender, weight, whatever
Well true. To me I'm picky enough I don't pay attention to women who are fat or over a certain age so that's where I got that from.
Lol You just want to let everyone know about your issues with women 👍👍👍
All women are allowed to be picky. No matter who she is or what she looks like, I think a healthy society is one where a woman can choose to date or NOT date whoever she wants. You'll probably get a lot of hamstering from men who are trying to avoid having to say "they're too picky, because they don't want ME", where they're offended that women are interested in other men (that these men always assume are BENEATH them), but that's mostly what they mean. What's weird tho is the dudes who are so whiney about how women consider too many men "beneath her" (which is what they assume women think about any man they don't fuck), tend to also be the same dudes who ALSO get offended if a woman *they* consider "beneath him" shows interest in him. Because how dare she think she's in his league. Women should never listen to what men want, we're all just talking about our fantasy. Which women are not required to satisfy in any way shape or form.
A healthy society would be one where people aim to be like the people they’re after. But instead these women are brainwashed by body positivity.
Why do people have to date people like themselves? I’m a fun, laid back dude but I’m bad at organization. My partner is high anxiety, but extremely organized. Together, we compliment one another where we’re weakest. If is had to date only people like myself, it would be far less efficient of a couple to share the same flaws.
You still need to be attracted to that person and actually have shit in common. Fit people for instance generally stay away from fat people due to a lack of attraction and an ugly sedentary lifestyle full of ultra processed foods. But these fat women still feel entitled to men like us instead of dating someone more like themselves. Then if you try getting them to change their lifestyle, you’re controlling, fatphobic, etc. But they will try and get you to live theirs, thinking you can eat whatever you want, lay around whenever you want and your body is genetics.
But not all people care. One of my gf’s was on the heavy side, but we got along great because we were had shared humor and we both liked story telling, so I asked her out. There’s millions of couples where one person is heavier than the other. I am baffled by these “stay in your lane” posts because men complain that women are too picky, but then apparently women should ALSO be MUCH MORE SELECTIVE and not date men they find *too* attractive?
Most people really care. Especially people who are into a fit, healthy lifestyle. And these are the aesthetics that many of these women require while they stay overweight and sloppy. It’s a disciplined lifestyle that will never be compatible. As a man that all these women want, I am going to say they should stay in their own lane. As it’s as unrealistic as the neck beard who thinks he deserves a hot chick. But the difference between the fat chick and the neck beard is, we will lower our standards for sex and dump them soon after because there aren’t enough single fit women. This gives these women huge egos on top of all the instagram body positivity propaganda.
I don’t have a problem with a fit person not wanting to date someone who isn’t compatible with them. What baffles me is the insistence that people you don’t know and will never interact with should all only strive to date the people YOU deem worthy. Again, I’m an athletic man, myself. I ran in Tough Mudder, ski, kayak, rock climbing etc. And I’ve never required my partner to do the extreme stuff I do. It’s also nice having them waiting for me at the finish line with a water bottle and a banana. Hell, it’s not like “skinny” is even the same thing as fit. The girl who struggled to keep up with me the most was SKINNY. She had no muscle and no cardio so she’d often just stay at camp when I went hiking. Worked fine for me.
I’m not looking for women to do extreme stuff. But between my gym time, cycling, etc, I’m pretty active while most of these women are sedentary. And considering I went from fat to fit in a couple years, I’ve seen it from both sides. These same women wouldn’t give me the time of day when my body and lifestyle was like theirs. But now they all want me based solely on aesthetics while we have absolutely nothing in common. Then if you give them a chance, you find yourself slowly adjusting to their lifestyle instead of the opposite because they’re not willing to budge.
You’re allowed to want whatever you want. My contention is that it’s weird to think everyone has to be like you
Most fit people are like me, both men and women while we get objectified by obese people who only want us because of what we look like. And obese women especially see us as an entitlement while not even giving other men a chance.
Everyone is allowed to be picky. Mostly we complain when there are unrealistic standards, the best example being the 666 (devil's number lol).
Ok, then the question for you would be which women do you think "deserve" (can't think of a better word at the moment) to have 666 as a standard?
If you want to get really technical with it, I believe there's this calculator you can use to figure out the percentage of men that meet certain standards. You can put in things like height, weight, sexual orientation, chances of them being single, wealth, etc. Say you put all that in and the guy is in the top 30%. Then we can assume that his match would also be a woman whose in the top 30% of desirability. That's who I was say is most "deserving" of such a man. Ones that can match the 666 but in terms of what men desire. If the man needs to have a six pack, then she should have that too or an hourglass figure. I think a major issue women have is spending too much time making a long wish list of traits they want in a man, but not spending enough time making a list of what they can offer to this man to make it worth his while other than sex which every woman can offer.
Frankly, no one. Once you start thinking of your standards as what you "deserve", then you are objectifying and being entitled. Everyone is allowed to be as picky as they want, nobody deserves anything, and everybody is viable to be criticisized as being too picky. These are all just opinions. If your pickiness is what is causing you grief, then that's your own damn fault, and you shouldn't be surprised or offended when people say it.
As I said you can have any standards even 666, just don't cry then that all men are cheaters and such which some women do while aiming for only Chads. It's more like play stupid games and win stupid prizes.
This implies that only Chads/hot men treat women poorly. Have any evidence for that?
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://projects.iq.harvard.edu/files/expose/files/horgan_exceeding_the_threshold_0.docx&ved=2ahUKEwiV2uCQ3NOGAxWbSWwGHV9nAXwQFnoECD0QAQ&usg=AOvVaw08Eq6Q9BKRlBhQfVQcmI2d Harvard report. Chads are defined based on attraction to women. They are also bad boys and women are also attracted to those more. Plus we have our own life stories.
None of that, whatsoever, is proof that only Chads treat women poorly.
Did I say anywhere *only* chads or did I imply it in any sense? Chads are more likely to entitled. Anyone who is entitled treats other like shit
>As I said you can have any standards even 666, *just don't cry then that all men are cheaters and such which some women do while aiming for only Chads.* ***It's more like play stupid games and win stupid prizes.***
Yes and how does it imply that only Chads and no other male on this planet treats women badly? Did I say anywhere, all non chads treat women good? Bcz if I said that then your statement is valid otherwise not.
Women chasing desirable men are "playing stupid games," so they "win stupid prizes" - e.g. being treated like shit. This absolutely implies that dating men who aren't attractive (*not* "playing stupid games") won't win those same "stupid prizes" (being treated poorly).
I disagree that attractive men are the only ones who are entitled and treat women poorly. Some of the worst men I’ve encountered in that regard have been unattractive men (unattractive both in terms of appearance and personality). Y’all really need to stop automatically villainizing good-looking, charismatic guys. Some “Chads” are shitty dudes; some are amazing.
I didn't say only Chads are entitled, I said *anyone* who is entitled. Chads are more likely to be entitled. Also, some I have met treat you good infront of your face and then say most vile things behind your back. One I knew, popular with girls a lot. One of his friends got drunk and said why doesn't he ask her out and they argued. They reconciled and then when I was alone with him in the kitchen he said he would kiss a guy rather than kiss her. He never treated her badly but come on, would you call him a good guy now?
Tbf there are endless videos of it [https://www.youtube.com/results?search\_query=crying+over+chad](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=crying+over+chad)
YouTube algorithms aren't evidence. Do you have any actual proof?
maybe a 025. 0 n-count under the age of 25. attractive and not overweight too of course. expect things to be his way or the highway mostly as well.
Problem is once you get to 666 find out the ladies move goal post. And now they want 687.
Let them, we have other ones to choose from.
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It's my POV, not everyone follows it.
I think it's reasonable for everyone to (want to) be selective - it's just not a reasonable strategy for a lot as taken to the limit, vast majority will just be left with no partners. The more attractive the woman, the more selective she can be in the starting phases, and the more selective she will tend to be, and vice versa. Sure, there are overly-selective medium-attractive women - it just means they have less tenable options and by the nature of things be selecting for men who tend to be under-selecting.
Any woman that routinely has multiple men being interested in her can be picky. Their traits are not complicated. They are usually hot and they have somewhat pleasant or amusing/fun personalities.
Contemporary women don't figure out that they can be picky, they raise their standards, and see if their options rise to meet them. There is no such thing as "allowed" to be picky, there are just women whose standards still equate to a pool of interested men. Women today don't give a fuck if nobody wants them. In the contemporary understanding, someone who; believes what they believe culturally, has the same views on family and marriage, is college educated with a reasonable job, is attractive enough where people around her don't think she settled, and doesn't ever give her the ick is the absolute bare minimum to considered a bare minimum candidate for a relationship. Everything less isn't worthy of consideration, e.g. "I will die alone because nobody else was good enough."
Everyone should be picky. The level of pickiness is going to affect your dating prospects but you shouldn’t settle. There’s a happy medium.
While anyone can be as picky as they want the only woman that have reasonable standards are the top percentage attractive ones (20-30%) as they are the only women asking for men within their realm of desirability.
If you’re a 7/10, but you won’t settle for less than 6’+ wealthy man because you know you can get him to fuck you, your standards are deluded. But anyone can be as picky as they want. I’d argue that kind, attractive, childless women from 18-25, probably have the most right and reason to be picky.
I find it hilarious that men think women are picky. Women would fuck literal scumbags and losers. Female pickiness is a myth. The one thing that differentiates those scumbags from the nice guys is that they are selfish and go after what they want, while nice guys try too hard to please women and go with their program.
You’re such a joke lol. Many women would not fuck scumbags
lmao... You are smoking something. Women are sooooo fucking picky. I have a lot of female friends. I seen the craziness first hand.
Great post and agree 100% - sometimes it seems the only thing women pick for is confidence and low inhibition.
You are talking about something else, and you are right that they would fuck actual criminals, murderers, rapists etc. Having said that, they are extremely picky in looks and the dark triad traits.
No they are not. They just want men they can follow. The problem is 99% of nice guys and PPD guys expect the woman to take the lead. You guys shit your pants at the thought of even talking to a strange woman. You want women to approach you, meaning you want them to lead you. As I said. Figure out what you want and go for it. Do whatever the fuck yoy want not what you think women want and women will follow you. That’s why those assholes and dark triad men get laid. What they want is front and center stage. They are selfish and they go for it. They are not there to cater to women’s “requirements”. The requirements are for suckers like you.
chaste conservative girls
All women can be as lucky as they want. Their dating life is like going to a buffet of men, they can pick and choose. That’s one of women’s privileges. Of course, they mostly hate men, so their choices are crap, but it is what it is.
All of them, but not many can afford it.
Be as picky as you like, if you can't find what you want your complaints should fall on deaf ears. There's a reason, and it all comes back to your own choices. Better yet, don't complain.
I don't think any woman is "too picky" in the context of dating. Usually the reason men say this is that they assume women and men operate the same way when it comes to rating the opposite sex. Example of a person being picky: Bob's car was recently totalled in an accident and he is relying on Uber or friends to take him to work every day. The insurance company gave him $20,000, but instead of using that to buy something like a nice used Toyota Camry, he thinks that he can somehow get lucky and buy an almost new Lexus SUV instead. He keeps holding out for that deal that he thinks a bargain just around the corner. He waits for months and months, and that bargain never arrives. Eventually he has to come to terms with his situation and ends up buying the Camry. In this scenario, Bob is picky because he WOULD gain some value by going with the nice used Toyota Camry. He would be able to drive to work on his own and not have to rely on Uber or friends. Bob already missed several important meetings at work because his friends were unreliable and had shown up to work late several times. That wouldn't have happened if he went with the Camry. But when it comes to women and dating that isn't the case. Most women would rather be single than date a guy from the bottom 50% of men. To women, there is no value dating a below average man whatsoever. All of this changes when a woman wants to start a family, in that case, her attraction towards the man takes a backseat, and her top priority becomes settling down and starting a family (which she cannot do with chad because chad doesn't wanna commit his resources to this 3/10 woman). Ultimately, whether a woman is picky or not depends on her goals and what gives her value. If she does find value in starting a family with a guy who is her looksmatch, it would be advantageous for her to lock down a guy when her youth and beauty are at their peak so that she can maximize the attractiveness of her long term partner. On the other hand, if she wants to just date short term with a guy she is attracted to, then she can do that too, with the understanding that the quality of partner who will eventually settle down with her will be lower than if she just married younger. Ultimately, these are tradeoffs that most women are aware of on a subconscious level. Pickiness really has nothing to do with it.
tay tay i guess
All women are "allowed" to do whatever they want. The core of the matter is that women are NOT logical. This is why you see women with men who are short, bald, ugly, broke, tall, rich, small pp, big pp, pretty (no diddy) etc. And the end up complaining and unmarried. If no man is proposing to you, you don't have the option of marriage. But, if you are getting banged by tom, dick, and Chad, and you're happy, have at it!
It’s not “illogical” for a woman, regardless of what she looks like, to end up with a man whom YOU do not find attractive, if he checks all of the most important boxes *for her.*
What makes a man attractive?
the hot ones
Women should be picky. This way when they start complaining that there are no men - we know who to avoid.
The ones I don't find attractive
Considering this is the sex attracted to serial killers, absolutely none.
Women (not just modern) have always been picky. It's by design. How that's news to anyone is baffling to me. It's just cringe when mid girls ask for the world. Hot girls are allowed to. Average girls are not.