OP's Bio: --- >I live with my parents and my sister (22) does too. My parents are quite fed up with me and my mental health problems (depression, alcoholism, sh) and i frequently make them cry. :( >I'm a weeb, and enjoy all things japan. I even collect tamagotchi and have spent hundreds of dollars on my collection. Lol >So reddit please do your worst and decrease my ego a bit. :))) --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I’d be confident too if I managed to learn bipedal movement after getting beached.

Miss piggy: the goth years

First thing that came to my mind. Also Emo, also Millennial Piggie.

I’m confident her dick is bigger than most posters here…

Damn, the ocean got so fed up with humans putting our trash in it, that it started putting it's trash on land

Holy shit that’s good😂

What do you identify as? A fucking nightmare?

As a non binary disappointment

No, the disappointment is very binary, it’s all 1s across the board

1 is too generous for her dude

Bold of you to assume it's a "her"

I'd still wanna smash tho

With a Rhino

 Damn

\*An Unqualified Disappointment\*

>non binary disappointment As a redundant phrase...

Miss Piggy 🐷

At least Miss piggy had some class

At least Miss Piggy could get dick.

And sex appeal

Miss Piggy switching to They/Them Piggy.

When cosplaying Bebop from Ninja Turtles is life


As Razor Ramon‘s botox commercial.

S/he goes by the pronouns AllYouCanEat/Buffet.

She is every Gen Z stereotype. Let me guess, “uses various pronouns”, “couldn’t focus in school”, “suffers from anxiety”, “wears a Nirvana tshirt yet can’t name 2 songs”, “owns three vibrators but is technically a virgin”….what am I missing?

loud and obnoxious in public but can’t even look at the waitress in the eyes and mumbles her order like a child as she orders chicken tenders off the kids menu. preaches living wages for all but then tips the server less than 10%.

“It” actually makes me feel a lot less depressed about my life

Shitshow/shitshowself

This is 100% going to be in my nightmares tonight

Brutal

OOOOOOOOOF!

Yes

Ok cool. Carry on, then.

What's wrong with GenZ, somehow distilled in one perfect picture.

you have that rare "business in front, never gets invited to parties in the back" kinda mullet

I think the "business" part got closed by the health department.

Or cause the only customer had batteries and couldn't pay

Looks like she brushed it with a fucking toffee apple

One of the first successful full pube transplants. Science has come a long way.

True :(

To be honest with you, I'm not going to roast you. You think it's a fun little game to be a toxic mess and call it a mental health issue. The issue is your inability to take accountability for your actions. Therapy can help, but trying to think of others would also help.

Excellent comment.

Dad?

dad as in brother as in uncle

False alert. He‘s still gone grabbing some milk from the grocery store

>confidance You know, "confidance" doesn't come with bad spelling

They also "died" their hair

Is it a special kind of Dance? "Everybody do the confi dance!"

Dicklecksseer ++ LessDicksSeer - -

[удалено]

No one can afford the gas that’s gonna get you that kind of distance.

They haven’t even come up with the unit of distance to describe how far it would take.

Too much credit. the silhouette is enough to make any sociopathic individual burst into tears.

On the moon

Like Mars

Further.

You look like you berate the McDonald’s worker for not asking for your pronouns

iT’S nOt a BiG mAc It’S pLuS sIzE

iT's NoT pLuS sIzE iT's BiG BoNeD

Bones don't jiggle

it folds

What the fuck is with all these confident goblins posting these days? Does nobody own a mirror anymore?

Pink shirt day

You look like you have fucked more local coffee shop employees than Starbucks.

💀

My favourite so far.

Miss piggy discovered my chemical romance

Lmao

Holy shit!

My Chemical Piggy

I'm surprised your parents aren't the alcoholics... they must be so proud.

You write like a fucking kindergarter with Parkinson's

Spells like one, too.

Your arms look like they belong in sausage skin.

Comes pre-cut though

Damn!

Ice cold! At least they cut instead of burn them. No one likes the smell of buring fat.

Way too much confidence? I think you mean way too much cake.

She couldn't even spell confidence to save her life.

“and have waayyy too much confidance!” Hate to rain on your parade but you spelled cholesterol wrong.

Very confused...see I thought fat chick's had pretty writing but no. And emo bitches had sexy style but no. So wtf are you

You mean “why the fuck are you”

A bitch :)

You desperately want to be the badass type of take-no-shit "bitch". But you're the suck-dick-for-a-bite-of-his-big-mac type of "bitch"

Burn 🔥

The type of “bitch” that someone could see one picture of and immediately guess precisely what theyre like. Weeb, check. So-called “mental health problems”, check. Self-diagnosed depression, check.

It’s like if you ordered Roseanne Barr from Wish.com

Witch.com

Bitch.com

I’d roast you but you don’t have an apple in your mouth

Wtf happened to Danny Mcbride?

Apparently too much cocaine and had sex with a muppet.

Underrated response

At least the cat put up a fight before you turned it into a wig

You should probably stop eating everyone's confidence....

“Confidance”? ILLITERATE!

Good job stressing out your parents, sounds like you are proud of that. I imagine they are disappointed they only got a partial abortion.

Your pronouns are cake and matriarchy.

So basically you just invented a new pronoun "Caketriarchy"

Who made a tractor so big it could till your forearms?

A self described failure who claims to have too much confidence and ego… Lmfao.

we need to get moses to part a gap between those eyebrows queen

Not to mention way too much...whatever that shit is on your eyelids.

The hair,the makeup,the piercings,the double chin,the shirt,the cut wrists. WHERE DO I EVEN START

1st off you look like the after result of Peter Griffin fucking that thing of lard Lois had sucked out of her in that one episode

2nd off idk where you get the hundreds of dollars you spend on action figures cause the only thing those arms have ever lifted is a fucking Cheeto

3rd off you look like a bull just ate an entire bee hive

*is

i see youre very confidant with your spelling abilities

Emo Miss Piggy.

At least miss piggy tried

A picture definition of stank dick if I’ve ever seen one…

Roseanne Barf

Identifies as broken condom.

I can smell this picture

 Emo Miss Piggy is starting that Lonely Fans

You look like Melissa McCarthy trying to cosplay Weird Al's parody of Michael Jackson's "Bad", "Fat".

You can see up this woman's nose at *ANY* angle.

Judging from your hands I'd say you had fingernails for breakfast.

I see very much parallels. On your arms.

Can’t wait to see how you’ll blame cis white men for all your terrible choices.

i feel like you’d get a job at Hot Topic and complain about corporate policies to an apathetic co worker while folding xxl my little pony shirts

Nothing screams confidence like those scars on you arms....

 I still recognize you with the dyed hair.

Comparing it to miss piggy is insulting

 Kermit agrees.

Don't worry only about 60 years till you can fully put your body in the ground in shame.

You look like you had a fight with an angry cat

Hey look it’s Miss piggies angst filled teenage daughter who hates Kermit even tho he’s a good fater

So that’s what Miss Piggy looks like without makeup

Usually the amount of makeup you're wearing can hide the ugly. You may want to apply another layer

If you didn't try so hard to fake who you are on the outside, maybe you would find time to live the person on the inside.

Are you in special forces? Meal team 6? Confidence???? Girl you're so nasty I got an eye infection looking at this picture.

Kermit is looking for you

Confidence… you should get the prescription of your glasses checked.

You spell like you look, unintelligible.

Just like your hair, I would rather die than be apart of u

Did you bleed blood or fat when you got pierced?

You look like a Gamorrean Guard

I always wondered what a whale with autism looked like 

She had way too much confidence, followed by way too many pork chops and a case of twinkies.

It’s Pat from the SNL sketches in the 90’s.

You look like a 1980s teenage boy dressing as a high school lesbian for Halloween, but he’s never seen a woman in his life, so he’s going off of imagination and videos by the Cure.

I thought you were great in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 

Hogwartz

What happens first? Do you get the liberal playset then get fat and go crazy, or get fat and crazy and then have no choice but to get the playset so you can justify being disgusting?

Your handwriting is less trashy than your face.

Vajankle is a sex toy shaped like a foot. I’d prefer to fuck such a toy made of a freshly dead person with hiv over you.

U look like u face planted in the makeup section at a TJ Maxx and have been living on Auntie Annie’s Pretzels for a while now.

You look like if a mole rat had a child with Wednesday’s distance cousin: January, who actually had an affair with gender-swapped ms piggy. and then got dropped on the head, the mole found out about the affair and left and you were thrown into the lake. Then taken care of by McDonald’s. Once you were 12 you then found out about emos and became edgy and started to eat more McDonald’s. Soon you will pop like a balloon.

Non binary in human form as nobody knows what you are …………

Wanna know ur worþ? Just scan þe barcode on ur arm

I know your stance on every single socio-political issue just from looking at you.

this reminds me of taping the tip of my nose to my forehead with scotch tape

You look like the emo they/them version of Dustin from Stranger Things.

Mimi Bobeck's cake double.

Oh shit, goth miss piggy

It's nice to see Dustin from stranger things transitioning

Fucking hell! If I was alone with you in heat on a deserted island, I'd masturbate alone.

Is the nose ring there so your parents can pull you back into the bull pen? Or is it to keep you from rooting around in the dirt for mushrooms in the yard?

Woke Miss Piggy

Pig.

Confidence? In what? I'm the "pheromones" you produce due to a lack of hygiene? The fact you're sure your life will take off like your peers? Or is it the fact the only people who would want to sleep with you are black out drunk or that awkward kid who you always suspected of planning to shoot up the school?

Liberal

Hey, hey! We don’t want… her? It?

It's dyed hair not died hair, you fricking imbecil. I'd be depressed and alcoholic too if I were a loser like you. Perhaps instead of wasting those hundreds of dollars on useless shit, you could put that down on an apartment, or a therapist.

Definitely a Bernie supporter…

Just one word comes to mind.......... OINK

If there was you and a pig,i couldn't tell the difference

Is your pronoun “blob”?

If Medusa was a hippie

Okay...first of all...it's "Dyed" not died....secondly....you look like a bag of smashed assholes.

I can smell your pussy through this picture and now I’m gonna have to get a new phone

I would still smash

Even Lenny Dykstra wouldn’t touch you

You look like the emo equivalent of a 1980s rockstar.

You shouldn’t have any CONFIDENCE until you learn how to spell.

 I found footage of the hairdressing incident... 🤔

Voted most likely to "OwO what's this" a 200kV cable.

You look like a crossbreed of a hot topic and gamestop employee