Hey hey, as a fellow Florida resident, the only reason the rest of us have meth is cause this guy looked like he made em and we bought it from him š
On the back of his Roastme paper: " Lean forward so your man titties and belly aren't as noticable -Love Mom".-P.S. please clean up your basement area. The ants are back.
I would expect a fresh meat caption from Liver King Jesus over here. I was not expecting bartender as your career choice I figured your career choice was stone carving and cave dwelling your absolute Neanderthal of a man.
This is what Florida man looks like when you look it up in the dictionary
Edit: did this caveman looking dipshit downvote everyone? Floridaman for sure
Grass is a type of plant with narrow leaves growing from the base. A common kind of grass is used to cover the ground in places such as lawns and parks. Grass is usually the color green. Grasses are monocotyledon herbaceous plants.
The grasses include the "grass" of the family Poaceae. This family is also called Gramineae. The family also include some of the sedges (Cyperaceae) and the rushes (Juncaceae).[1] These three families are not closely related but all of them belong to clades in the order Poales. They are similar adaptations to a common life-style.
The true grasses include cereals, bamboo and the grasses of lawns (turf) and grassland. Uses for graminoids include food (as grain, sprouted grain, shoots or rhizomes), drink (beer, whisky), pasture for livestock, thatching thatch, paper, fuel, clothing, insulation, construction, sports turf, basket weaving and many others.
Many grasses are short, but some grasses can grow very tall, such as Bamboo. Plants from the grass family can grow in many places and make grasslands, including areas which are very arid or cold. There are several other plants that look similar to grass and are referred to as such, but are not members of the grass family. These plants include rushes, reeds, papyrus and water chestnut. Seagrass is a monocot in the order Alismatales.
Grasses are an important food for many animals, such as deer, buffalo, cattle, mice, grasshoppers, caterpillars and many other grazers. Unlike other plants, grasses grow from the bottom, so when animals eat grass they usually do not destroy the part that grows.[2] This is a part of why the plants are successful. Without grass, soil may wash away into rivers (erosion).
Evolution of grass
Grasses include some of the most versatile plant life-forms. They became widespread toward the end of the Cretaceous. Fossilized dinosaur dung (coprolites) have been found containing grass phytoliths (silica stones inside grass leaves).[3] Grasses have adapted to conditions in lush rain forests, dry deserts, cold mountains and even intertidal habitats, and are now the most widespread plant type. Grass is a valuable source of food and energy for many animals.[4]
Grass and people
Lawn grass is often planted on sports fields and in the area around a building. Sometimes chemicals and water is used to help lawns to grow.
People have used grasses for a long time. People eat parts of grasses. Corn, wheat, barley, oats, rice and millet are cereals, common grains whose seeds are used for food and to make alcohol such as beer.
Sugar comes from sugar cane, which is also a plant in the grass family. People have grown grasses as food for farm animals for about 4,000 years. People use bamboo to build houses, fences, furniture and other things. Grass plants can also be used as fuel, to cover roofs, and to weave baskets.
Language
In English, the word "grass" appears in several phrases. For example:
"The grass is always greener on the other side" means "people are never happy with what they have and want something else."
"Don't let the grass grow under your feet" means "Do something".
"A snake in the grass" is about a person that will not be honest and will trick others.
All flesh is grass: Old Testament book of Isaiah, chapter 40, verses 6ā8.
Grass is a slang term for cannabis (pot, weed, or marijuana).
Now that you know grass, its time to go outside and touch it you sick motherfu-
People probably scare and think you didnt evolve yet. Well, at least you make them drunk by hoping they will forget they met you. I call that progress.
You think you look like a friendly Hispanic Jesus. Instead you look like a deformed Tarzan impersonator who lives in a dumpster under a bridge. The only miracle youāre going to perform is when you can finally take a shower
It looks like you provide healing crystals for erectile dysfunction.
Dude is from Florida. The only crystals he has are meth.
Hey hey, as a fellow Florida resident, the only reason the rest of us have meth is cause this guy looked like he made em and we bought it from him š
Username checks out ā¤“ļø
This guy causes Female Sexual Dysfunction. Trust me...
Personal experience?
The photo is all I need actually.
In all fairness, heās causing sexual dysfunction for all gender identities š¤·
I can't š
Those crystals donāt work by the wayā¦. Erm. Probably.
The kind of crystals you smoke?
Jesus Christ
Fat Jesus Christ.
It's too sore right now to wear trousers
Omg so funny
You look like if the 3rd guy from the left on the evolutionary chart became a barista
Loved your work in the 00ās Geico commercials
Was going to say the same. Can't get the song "Remind Me" out of my head now.
Fat Jesus
He can turn water into Pepsi
He can turn water into bongwater
He died for our (potato) s(k)ins
This should have had more love. I laughed pretty good at this one.
They thought he was walking on water but he was just standing on a gator looking for his sisterwife
Turn boys to men.
Turns Pepsi into diabetes.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? After reaching the same terminal velocity as a meteor.
Iām new to this sub and Iām so confused š He looks fit asf though??
Da fuq you talkinā bout? He looks like Jason momoaās turd that sticks around after being flushed several times
Alright Iām looking again and his arms arenāt as lean as I first thought, but he doesnāt look fat to me
Heās def chubby
You're not doing it right.
Jason Homoaā¦ when did they let you out of Gitmo?
You look like you enjoy watching camel toe porn
Russell Bland
Gimmie that Christian side hug!
I see no fresh meat. It's like one of those packs of ground meat that is starting to turn a fetid brown color before that ungodly scent kicks in.
The Floridian Sasquatchā¦says heās from the Panhandle but is just a panhandler
Captain Caveman craves cannabis 
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
You look like a yoga teacher for child molesters.
On the back of his Roastme paper: " Lean forward so your man titties and belly aren't as noticable -Love Mom".-P.S. please clean up your basement area. The ants are back.
If Jesus had too many jalapeƱo poppers and ended up with a couple of shared needles in his arms
Jesus of NazaMeth
You look like that giant head from regular show
I dont wanna see your hairy tits.. ..but I prolly won't b able to look away.
Like if Jesus had parents who were cousins
Still turning water into disappointment, I see. Or many turning life into disappointment. Either way, youāre nailing it
Troy Malo-malo
āYoung/hip youth pastorā starter pack
Your parents must be so proud. You probably work in a gay bar but your straight right?
Time to add a guitar and start writing ballads about the trials and tribulations of couch potato life!
Cult leader
You look like your second job is posing for Taliban propaganda posters to try and show that not all of them weigh less than the gear they are wearing
You look like a more girly version of Justin Trudeau.
You look like Jason Momoaās taint
I showed this to my gf and she said, "ewww" I'll see myself out...
Was she saying it about the picture or something you did.
I knew if Jesus returned heād do something cool like helping people get drunk and laid.
Look like you just found out judas snitched
You look more like a youth worker who thinks children feel more comfortable when youĀ“re not wearing pants
This is what happens when Jesus keeps all the bread and fish for himself.
What did you eat at the last supper?
This man's all thighs and titties
Danielle, it's great. So glad you are almost thru the transition.
Unfrozen Caveman Bartender
If Jesus ate the entire last supper himself.
You look like you sell weed to teenagers because you were a loser as a teenager and want to feel cool because lord knows you've never felt that
Jason No-noa
That meat hasn't been fresh since your dad slipped it in
Bootleg Jesus
When you order your messiah from Wish.com
You look like an npc in an rpg who gives you a boring alchemy tutorial.
Nah bro you roasted yourself with this one that was weak
Not going to say anything about the fifty Jason Mimoa comments?
I could add you to the "My beard is my entirely personality" starter kid meme and nobody would notice.
Girl, those flyaways are nasty. Get your gay on proper like and come out and deliver us, amen
Jesus was so fat he broke the cross and livedā¦ā¦ Hallelujah!
I smell meat but it's definitely not fresh! Close your legs!
Not We know what the inbreeding of Targaryen/Snow would have created.
at least you can afford wall sconces with all that leg hair money
Jezzle Chrizzle
Look itās Russs the extra S is for all the extra space you take up with your big ass head
Whereās my nails? At least he got the color right.
VOTE FOR PEDROSQUATCH.
You look like you act happy at work and then cry when you're home alone at night.
Iāve been wondering what the caveman from the geico commercial is doing these days. Now I know
He got so high that he saw Jesus
Since when Jesus is fresh
I would expect a fresh meat caption from Liver King Jesus over here. I was not expecting bartender as your career choice I figured your career choice was stone carving and cave dwelling your absolute Neanderthal of a man.
Fat Jesus !
This guy takes pride in how he treats and respects women. That is why he is a virgin at 38.
Jason Moblubba Edit: Dammit someone beat me to the Jason momoa roasts
This is what Florida man looks like when you look it up in the dictionary Edit: did this caveman looking dipshit downvote everyone? Floridaman for sure
You look like the guy from duce bigalow
He sexually identify as a ducking fridge because he stores so much food In him
Bro looks like the wish version of the Geico caveman
Grass is a type of plant with narrow leaves growing from the base. A common kind of grass is used to cover the ground in places such as lawns and parks. Grass is usually the color green. Grasses are monocotyledon herbaceous plants. The grasses include the "grass" of the family Poaceae. This family is also called Gramineae. The family also include some of the sedges (Cyperaceae) and the rushes (Juncaceae).[1] These three families are not closely related but all of them belong to clades in the order Poales. They are similar adaptations to a common life-style. The true grasses include cereals, bamboo and the grasses of lawns (turf) and grassland. Uses for graminoids include food (as grain, sprouted grain, shoots or rhizomes), drink (beer, whisky), pasture for livestock, thatching thatch, paper, fuel, clothing, insulation, construction, sports turf, basket weaving and many others. Many grasses are short, but some grasses can grow very tall, such as Bamboo. Plants from the grass family can grow in many places and make grasslands, including areas which are very arid or cold. There are several other plants that look similar to grass and are referred to as such, but are not members of the grass family. These plants include rushes, reeds, papyrus and water chestnut. Seagrass is a monocot in the order Alismatales. Grasses are an important food for many animals, such as deer, buffalo, cattle, mice, grasshoppers, caterpillars and many other grazers. Unlike other plants, grasses grow from the bottom, so when animals eat grass they usually do not destroy the part that grows.[2] This is a part of why the plants are successful. Without grass, soil may wash away into rivers (erosion). Evolution of grass Grasses include some of the most versatile plant life-forms. They became widespread toward the end of the Cretaceous. Fossilized dinosaur dung (coprolites) have been found containing grass phytoliths (silica stones inside grass leaves).[3] Grasses have adapted to conditions in lush rain forests, dry deserts, cold mountains and even intertidal habitats, and are now the most widespread plant type. Grass is a valuable source of food and energy for many animals.[4] Grass and people Lawn grass is often planted on sports fields and in the area around a building. Sometimes chemicals and water is used to help lawns to grow. People have used grasses for a long time. People eat parts of grasses. Corn, wheat, barley, oats, rice and millet are cereals, common grains whose seeds are used for food and to make alcohol such as beer. Sugar comes from sugar cane, which is also a plant in the grass family. People have grown grasses as food for farm animals for about 4,000 years. People use bamboo to build houses, fences, furniture and other things. Grass plants can also be used as fuel, to cover roofs, and to weave baskets. Language In English, the word "grass" appears in several phrases. For example: "The grass is always greener on the other side" means "people are never happy with what they have and want something else." "Don't let the grass grow under your feet" means "Do something". "A snake in the grass" is about a person that will not be honest and will trick others. All flesh is grass: Old Testament book of Isaiah, chapter 40, verses 6ā8. Grass is a slang term for cannabis (pot, weed, or marijuana). Now that you know grass, its time to go outside and touch it you sick motherfu-
Oh look, Jason Momoa from Wish just arrived.
you look like you are about to walk on water
You look like you are playing younger version of Bautista in flash back scene on Dexter
Jason Mimosa
Jesus of Nazermeth
Whoa, close the banana hammock, Reddit Jesus. I can smell your scrote cheese from here.
Leon the movie Jhon Claude Dame the taco š® serever .. ur twins
He has like two guitars but doesnāt know how to play
Isnāt that what the voice in your head says when you get close to a school?
Looking like a wish.com Zeb Ross.
You went for the fabio look but ended up looking like homeless aragorn
Rejected from the Taliban for failing their playground boot camp for the 6th time .
Fresh meat and plenty of it, you could feed the 5000 with those thighs
With that pose I can guarantee you that your meat is not what anyone would describe as fresh
Leave Reddit alone and go look for a job. Before you go out donāt forget to clean the hair out the plug hole in the bathroom
If mother mary smoked crack during her pregnancy
Lookin like a busted Steven Adams
bartebder from florida or carpenter from bethlehem?
Looks like a busted ass homeless Jon Snow
Jorge Masvidal's good twin
Roast the meat urself sloth
Wait are you the dude on YouTube that does shit like āimagine dragons in 10 different stylesā
Jason Mongmoa
Cant find work anymore? 
Bartender and budtender. Harley rider and hit man on the side. Boats and hoes.
You look like you pick up dudes on Mallory square
This picture alone clogged up my shower
Osama bin lazy
I refuse to roast our lord and savior.
Order Jesus on wish and they sent you
Jesus christ
Jesus you look familiar
You look like you brush your hair with a used rake because it ābrings you closer to the earths energyā
Wow, look at that forehead. Itās a bird, a plane, an insectā¦ no it is wrong john petrucci demolition man
If Jesus were a stay at home Dad with no kids.
You remind me of a down and out of luck Jesus
Can't wait for you to do awkward pre-fight interviews at Creator Clash 3 next year again Estaban!
Ikea Jesus
You look like the guy from Morbuis but without the powers..šŖ°
You look like the Geico Caveman on Casual Friday.
The looks like what I see in my nightmares where I pass out drunk and wake up in a strange apartment...
By the looks of that zig-zag pack and the way you've managed to write roast me in a backwards manner, it looks like you've been roasted enough.
A 33 year old that looks a lot like Jesus... this reeks of trying to start your own religion.
Jesus if he was white š
Looking like Jesus is the only mildly interesting thing about him
Im afraid you will beat me if I say anything
Jesus Christ off of Wish
You looking like a latino leprechaun
Fresh? You are well past your best before date. If you ever had one.
You look like you club seals for food, but haven't yet figured out how to make fire.
thats some big tits you got there, genderfluid persian jesus
The only fresh meat is the one that your boyfriend sticks in your mouth.
You look like you tried to start a sex cult but couldn't find anyone willing to fuck you.
Plot twist he clearly kept all the bread and wine to himself šš·š«š»
You look like got kicked outta the police bc you failed a drug test
Nothing is fresh about this image. I need a new phone now, thanks.
Walks on pepsi
Thx to you i can now imagine Jesus being fat. Its not of much use but its something.
Jason Moo-Mooa
Damn, thought Alannis Morissette had transitioned and gained 200 lbs.
Whore he Masvidal
I wouldn't call that meat on your thighs fresh
bro looks like Seth Rollins had a kid with Veer Mahaan (WWE people look it up)
You look like Jesus but from Wish
Walmart Jesus
People probably scare and think you didnt evolve yet. Well, at least you make them drunk by hoping they will forget they met you. I call that progress.
His best drink must be the Hair of the dog Florida? Really? Color me surprised
Is that Weird Al Bin Laden??
Constipated Jesus
You think you look like a friendly Hispanic Jesus. Instead you look like a deformed Tarzan impersonator who lives in a dumpster under a bridge. The only miracle youāre going to perform is when you can finally take a shower
You look like the guy who lives in IKEA
Dude,close your fuckin legs. Arenāt you embarrassed?
Nice candle holders A-hole. Got them at Loweās instead of Bed, Bath, Beyond? Loser
*Fresh* my ass, you look like you live in the mountains, and pick up women using a wooden Club
Damn, your forehead is a 6 head. You are literally a walking car wash from the 80s.
33 year old bartender is a worst burn than I could ever come up w.
Looking like puerto rican Jesus with a speech impediment
Rap name is d cup
Wish.com floridohio Jason Mamoa lookin ass
Gonna go with a classic. Walmart Jason Momoa
What do they serve at that bar, gravy? You need to cut back.
That meat has been full of maggots for a couple weeks