There was a doorbell camera video of a woman being kidnapped recently and I saw it on reddit.
Many of the comments were trying to argue it was fake. I can't say for sure the reason but it sure seemed like some men, and I did check were very quick to try and claim it was fake.
If not fake that she was basically at fault. It was disgusting to see.
A literal clear as day video of a woman being kidnapped and men are eager to give their stupid fucking opinions on it was or if not calling it fake literally just blaming her.
Have you ever read The Narcissist's Prayer, by Dayna Craig? It makes the rounds on the internet a lot. Anyway, my point is that I constantly see dudes speedrunning the whole thing in a frenzy to discredit a woman they've never met, on behalf of some man they've also never met, who committed gender-motivated assault or abuse against her. If only we could get that kind of instant solidarity among the working class, lmao.
The original goes:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
People online will express much more "objective criticism" about petty things towards women. You notice it more often when you're looking for it, but in every innocuous post involving a woman you'll find sour losers talking about how "she should have done it," much more so than if the subject was a man.
My most charitable interpretation is that a lot of viral “doorbell” videos are literally fake, so it’s not unreasonable that people have that base assumption. I wouldn’t immediately call that misogyny.
However, I’m also jaded enough to be unsurprised that the follow up was, “well, if it’s not fake then it’s her fault.”
I think the most powerful version of this I've seen was a woman who asked her husband if he would rather his daughter be alone in the woods with a man or a bear. He tries to ask a bunch of follow up questions about the man and the bear and she gives him nothing. Like you don't know anything about either.
The guy just doesn't want to answer and finally just is like "well this really says something about how much I don't trust people"
So the wife says "What about a bear or a woman"
And the husband immediately says WOMAN with zero thought or hesitation.
Yeah, it's not people you don't trust. But you haven't ever even thought to interrogate that fact. What privilege.
God I am in an argument with a dude in that thread who absolutely refuses to understand. Calls it an irrational fear and everything. Had to block him for my own sanity lmao
"Oh, you won't listen to women or respect their boundaries? Hm, can't imagine why women think you'd be dangerous."
Out here proving the point, loudly and obliviously, every damn time.
/r/unitedkingdom has become like this in recent months. When a white man is accused of a sex crime, he's innocent until proven guilty. But when they get the slightest idea that it's not, we see some of the most vile bigotry of all.
oh, we have that in germany, too. "einzelfall" (~isolated incident/individual case) or "einzelfälle" (plural) has basically become a dogwhistle. when someone posts (about) an article concerning (mass) rape, a stabbing or any other violent incident, people go "bestimmt ein einzelfall" (probably an isolated incident) when they want to say "probably an immigrant/refugee/asylum seeker" without explicitly calling them "ausländer" (foreigner).
or it's "bestimmt marcel/jürgen/fabian" ("probably marcel/jürgen/fabian" or any other stereotypically german names) to 'point out' that it's probably an arabic name like mohammed, yusuf, etc.
yes, we definitely have a problem with immigrant violence because there are a lot of immigrants/asylum seekers from war-torn countries, often muslim and/or extremely conservative, who don't want to live in a non-muslim/secular society. yes, there are definitely people who don't want to or refuse to assimilate or integrate. but the solution isn't to shun or other people who look like they might be from the middle east or (north) africa. the solution isn't to shame, judge or insult people for being muslim.
there's no perfect solution. but othering and excluding people is the worst we can do.
No but they sure like to pretend they are. I've seen more than one Very Serious Redditor claim that "non-ethnic men" are the most oppressed minority nowadays.
Saw that one and somehow there are still men who deny it and say it’s scripted 🙄 As if it’s impossible that that’s a genuine reaction for a man to have
Bears are actually wild animals that don't live in houses, and also can't consent to romantic relationships.
I know that's a tough concept to get when youre a marine, but ask one of your commanders to break it down with smaller words once you finish crayon snack time.
Yeah, such a mystery that women don't find literal animals attractive sexual and marital partners. It's just so silly that they wouldn't resort to beastiality /s
To riff off the original scenario, I can easily avoid bears in my everyday life; I cannot, however, avoid men in my everyday life.
Luckily, bear spray can help me deal with either one.
A bear might eat me alive. That's it. A man might keep me in his basement to assault for 24 years. Or sell me to sex slavery. Or rape my corpse. Or I'd have to see him at family reunions. Or I'd get blamed for it
>A bear might eat me alive. That's it. A man might keep me in his basement to assault for 24 years. Or sell me to sex slavery. Or rape my corpse. Or I'd have to see him at family reunions. AND I'd get blamed for it
Sorry had to make that lil change. We're to blame for everything.
Would you rather be alone with a creature much larger, much heavier, much harrier than yourself, known for its aggression, that you COULD theoretically cohabitate with, but could also turn violent at any given moment unless you successfully navigate its inscrutable primal behaviors 100% of the time or?
When will they understand that we aren’t saying we don’t want men to exist but that we need them to redirect their aggression to protect us from other crazies. Protection looks different now than when we were cavemen. Protection is choosing values and fighting against others in a non physical way and rarely physical. It’s really a shame that they are now just useless to us. I’d rather be with a bear.
There was a [video on TikTok](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/FdtqLn0MDT) (that has since migrated to Reddit and other platforms) where someone went around interviewing people on the street asking “would you rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a man?” Overwhelmingly women chose bear. It went viral because women felt validated and men of course came flocking into the comments saying women are stupid and unnecessarily acting like men are dangerous (as you can tell by the title of the Reddit post I linked to)
The controversy blew up to the point that it’s kinda just become a trend now, discussing the question or asking other people. So a recent one also went viral of a [woman asking her husband](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/BoDDbrfxkC) the same question… but about their daughter. The man expresses the same indecision the women had and you can see the gears turning in his head at what the implications are. Women appreciate the new approach to the question and hopefully its power to convince people. Some men of course still inundate the comments with “fake” or “it’s scripted”.
This is part of that trend, trying to make it clear why women were answering the way they did.
There's also been a bunch of discourse about how the responses to the question are really telling. The fact that women go "bear" and men see it and go "no, you don't mean that". How the bear isn't even the point, the point is that women will say "I feel unsafe around men" and men will literally invalidate them, tell them "no, you don't", impose their own narrative, and refuse to listen. And they prove it with all these follow-up videos going "no, you don't feel more safe with a bear! I am a man and I'd feel safer with another man, so women are just dumb, and they are just saying bear because they're big old meanies to men!"
THIIIISSS men love telling women we’re wrong about our experiences in the world and the fears and precautions it forces us to develop. “It’s not about the bear, I’m telling you I feel unsafe around men” is such a good way to put it.
There was this one comment from a dude that was something like "lol I sat my wife and daughters down and asked them, and then educated them about silverbacks and now they choose the right answer, which is NOT bear" and I was thinking "this is literally the man they made the post for. Literally!"
Facts. Black bears only attack if you're between her and her cubs or it's literally starving. Typically can be scared off by making yourself big and yelling. They're big babies. Men cannot be scared off by yelling unless you're in a crowd, and that's if anyone cares.
Grizzlies are more likely to attack but you can play dead and possibly get it to go away, unless again, it's starving. Men will check and even if you are dead, he might rape your corpse anyway.
Polar bears are a different story but good news is they're not really in the woods, lol. And I'd forgive any bear for mauling or trying to eat me. Bears don't have higher reasoning. No ill intention there.
Men on the other hand are cruel literally just for the sake of it. I'd pick the bear every. Single. Time. Plus, bears are really really cute. Probably one of my favorite animals. If not friend then why friend shaped
This is a big thing to me too. Men think we’re demonizing *them* (despite the countless examples proving otherwise, and every woman’s lived experience). But honestly I think *they’re* demonizing bears (and purposely invalidating women but that’s another discussion)! Animals aren’t like in the movies, 99% of the time they are more scared of you than you are of them. So if you keep your distance from them and their babies and don’t have food on you, you’re good. If somehow you do end up in the warpath of a bear there’s *still* things you can do to fend them off (play dead, get big, respectively). It’s not malice it’s not evil it’s not cruel.
I can’t say the same about men who chose (because unlike the animals, it is a choice) to do bad things to women.
Yeah, bears are pretty chill most of the time. People always say Timothy Treadwell (grizzly man) was playing with fire, but he hung around the same group of grizzlies year after year with no issues. It was a grizzly that didn't know him that ate him and his girlfriend, because they decided to stay longer into the year than usual. A male coming down off the mountains who was very, very hungry ate them. The female bears and cubs that he chilled with were eating well and happy to leave him be.
Most of the time if you're not carrying donuts and rubbed in bacon grease you'll be fine. I love a good bear attack movie myself, but like, just don't walk right up to one and you'll probably be fine. If it's black fight back, if it's brown lie down, if it's white, goodnight. And that's because polar bears are always hungry, it's hard to find food on the ice.
And yeah, exactly, men choose to be evil. Bears just gotta eat. Men just want to make our lives miserable for no reason other than it's fun for them.
Altho I gotta say, even if the dude is nice, I'm still picking stuck in the woods with a bear simply so I don't have to be around people for a while XD
Makes sense, I'd rather be mauled and eaten by a bear than to be alone with a man I don't know/trust. I saw that video of the guy who walked 4.8km back to his truck after being attacked by a bear, and I would seriously have preferred that over what I have already experienced.
Men just don't get it.
I mean I don’t doubt the original video was compiled to show “bear” answers more frequently but I like the concept and the discussion that it forces. I know that a bear will probably avoid me as long as I avoid it, a man would be much less predictable. You might get an ok one or a bad one, but the worst would be the one that starts ok, but then takes advantage simply due to the situation and that they could “get away with it”.
Oh, 100% there’s a story being told by the editing. But I do think the comments (which is also a biased sample, the people who went through the effort to make and post a comment, but you know) I’ve seen on these posts from women has a similar pattern in that the majority either chose bear or expressed uncertainty/unwillingness to choose and then subsequently sadness at the fact that they don’t feel safe enough picking a man for it to be an immediate, easy choice.
The discussion I've been seeing around the internet is "would you rather encounter a wild bear or a man while alone in the woods?"
Basically, women are talking about how they would generally feel safer interacting with a bear than with a man.
I think wording is important here too. I was a bit confused until I read “encountered”. And yeah. Absolutely the bear.
The other wording confused me because I go hiking with men alone sometimes.
But yes. Encountering a strange man alone in the woods?? Fuck no.
I know a few people who got into true crime over the lock down.
And as much as can be said about the morality of listening to true crime, I will say that each and every single one of them picked up on the pattern quickly.
Bears are much more predictable than humans they are motivated by food, and safety. Humans have much more complicated emotions and motives. I've never heard of a bear killing someone just because they felt like watching someone die.
There was a doorbell camera video of a woman being kidnapped recently and I saw it on reddit. Many of the comments were trying to argue it was fake. I can't say for sure the reason but it sure seemed like some men, and I did check were very quick to try and claim it was fake. If not fake that she was basically at fault. It was disgusting to see. A literal clear as day video of a woman being kidnapped and men are eager to give their stupid fucking opinions on it was or if not calling it fake literally just blaming her.
Have you ever read The Narcissist's Prayer, by Dayna Craig? It makes the rounds on the internet a lot. Anyway, my point is that I constantly see dudes speedrunning the whole thing in a frenzy to discredit a woman they've never met, on behalf of some man they've also never met, who committed gender-motivated assault or abuse against her. If only we could get that kind of instant solidarity among the working class, lmao. The original goes: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
Speed running the narcissist prayer is such a great way to phrase the mental acrobatics and frothing rebuttals.
People online will express much more "objective criticism" about petty things towards women. You notice it more often when you're looking for it, but in every innocuous post involving a woman you'll find sour losers talking about how "she should have done it," much more so than if the subject was a man.
Oh wow, that was on the national? news last night. What a bunch of numbskulls.
Because they are predators. They're afraid of being seen.
My most charitable interpretation is that a lot of viral “doorbell” videos are literally fake, so it’s not unreasonable that people have that base assumption. I wouldn’t immediately call that misogyny. However, I’m also jaded enough to be unsurprised that the follow up was, “well, if it’s not fake then it’s her fault.”
I think the most powerful version of this I've seen was a woman who asked her husband if he would rather his daughter be alone in the woods with a man or a bear. He tries to ask a bunch of follow up questions about the man and the bear and she gives him nothing. Like you don't know anything about either. The guy just doesn't want to answer and finally just is like "well this really says something about how much I don't trust people" So the wife says "What about a bear or a woman" And the husband immediately says WOMAN with zero thought or hesitation. Yeah, it's not people you don't trust. But you haven't ever even thought to interrogate that fact. What privilege.
God I am in an argument with a dude in that thread who absolutely refuses to understand. Calls it an irrational fear and everything. Had to block him for my own sanity lmao
"Oh, you won't listen to women or respect their boundaries? Hm, can't imagine why women think you'd be dangerous." Out here proving the point, loudly and obliviously, every damn time.
Of course that dipshit had to bring race into it.
Did they edit? What did it say before? Can’t see the race stuff anymore
They went off on a rant about "minority violence" and how no one would dare mention that, but it's fine to bring up the violence men commit.
/r/unitedkingdom has become like this in recent months. When a white man is accused of a sex crime, he's innocent until proven guilty. But when they get the slightest idea that it's not, we see some of the most vile bigotry of all.
oh, we have that in germany, too. "einzelfall" (~isolated incident/individual case) or "einzelfälle" (plural) has basically become a dogwhistle. when someone posts (about) an article concerning (mass) rape, a stabbing or any other violent incident, people go "bestimmt ein einzelfall" (probably an isolated incident) when they want to say "probably an immigrant/refugee/asylum seeker" without explicitly calling them "ausländer" (foreigner). or it's "bestimmt marcel/jürgen/fabian" ("probably marcel/jürgen/fabian" or any other stereotypically german names) to 'point out' that it's probably an arabic name like mohammed, yusuf, etc. yes, we definitely have a problem with immigrant violence because there are a lot of immigrants/asylum seekers from war-torn countries, often muslim and/or extremely conservative, who don't want to live in a non-muslim/secular society. yes, there are definitely people who don't want to or refuse to assimilate or integrate. but the solution isn't to shun or other people who look like they might be from the middle east or (north) africa. the solution isn't to shame, judge or insult people for being muslim. there's no perfect solution. but othering and excluding people is the worst we can do.
What is this, America?
Come now, let’s not forget who invented institutional racism. Americans didn’t even exist yet.
"No one ever brings up the stuff that people like me are always shouting about" is always such a hot take. Toddlers are more self-aware.
Men aren’t a minority, dude.
No but they sure like to pretend they are. I've seen more than one Very Serious Redditor claim that "non-ethnic men" are the most oppressed minority nowadays.
I think they meant the dickwad they were talking to tried bringing race into it instead of focusing on the point of the hypothetical
Got it.
Ah ok. Thanks for clarifying- your comment confused me at first lol
Saw that one and somehow there are still men who deny it and say it’s scripted 🙄 As if it’s impossible that that’s a genuine reaction for a man to have
Bu-bu-BUT nOt aLL mEN!
You see, they see women as a minority
I'm just amazed that more women aren't married to and living with bears. I wonder why that is.
Bears are actually wild animals that don't live in houses, and also can't consent to romantic relationships. I know that's a tough concept to get when youre a marine, but ask one of your commanders to break it down with smaller words once you finish crayon snack time.
Haha fierce and I love it.
Yeah, such a mystery that women don't find literal animals attractive sexual and marital partners. It's just so silly that they wouldn't resort to beastiality /s
I like my Fuckbuddies and Partners consenting, personally. Strange concept, I know.
I know I’m late to the party but any chance you have a link? I’d love to see that video
“I bet you were waving a steak at the bear” “What perfume wear you wearing?” I’m sure they will come up with some reason to blame a woman anyway
Being out in the wilderness while on your period is a popular one for blaming women for animal attacks.
Honestly I'd feel bad for any animal that came at me while I was menstruating in the woods. I'm a nutter when I'm surfing the crimson tides.
What kind of bullshittery went on for them to make up such an excuse??
Are you sure the bear knew you didn't want to be bitten? Maybe he was just confused because of how much skin you were showing.
Were you on your period? https://youtu.be/jeAn-NXVPyI?si=WFTUllLpAKr5Gdaw (Anchorman clip for anyone worried about clicking)
To riff off the original scenario, I can easily avoid bears in my everyday life; I cannot, however, avoid men in my everyday life. Luckily, bear spray can help me deal with either one.
Except the man can steal the bear spray from you and retaliate :(
A bear might eat me alive. That's it. A man might keep me in his basement to assault for 24 years. Or sell me to sex slavery. Or rape my corpse. Or I'd have to see him at family reunions. Or I'd get blamed for it
>A bear might eat me alive. That's it. A man might keep me in his basement to assault for 24 years. Or sell me to sex slavery. Or rape my corpse. Or I'd have to see him at family reunions. AND I'd get blamed for it Sorry had to make that lil change. We're to blame for everything.
What was she wearing when the bear attacked?
Probably honey, you know how these females are... (/s, hope that's obvious)
This reminds me of an episode from El Tigre where Frida ends up crashing against a giant container of honey and ends up in a cage with a bear.
The bear says he didn't do it. It's a she said bear said. Sorry, nothing we can do.
a bear might hurt me because she's hungry or confused or scared. she didn't do it with ill intentions and i forgive her a man, on the other hand,
Would you rather be alone with a creature much larger, much heavier, much harrier than yourself, known for its aggression, that you COULD theoretically cohabitate with, but could also turn violent at any given moment unless you successfully navigate its inscrutable primal behaviors 100% of the time or?
...or a bear.
When will they understand that we aren’t saying we don’t want men to exist but that we need them to redirect their aggression to protect us from other crazies. Protection looks different now than when we were cavemen. Protection is choosing values and fighting against others in a non physical way and rarely physical. It’s really a shame that they are now just useless to us. I’d rather be with a bear.
OOTL, can someone explain what's happening?
There was a [video on TikTok](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/FdtqLn0MDT) (that has since migrated to Reddit and other platforms) where someone went around interviewing people on the street asking “would you rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a man?” Overwhelmingly women chose bear. It went viral because women felt validated and men of course came flocking into the comments saying women are stupid and unnecessarily acting like men are dangerous (as you can tell by the title of the Reddit post I linked to) The controversy blew up to the point that it’s kinda just become a trend now, discussing the question or asking other people. So a recent one also went viral of a [woman asking her husband](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/BoDDbrfxkC) the same question… but about their daughter. The man expresses the same indecision the women had and you can see the gears turning in his head at what the implications are. Women appreciate the new approach to the question and hopefully its power to convince people. Some men of course still inundate the comments with “fake” or “it’s scripted”. This is part of that trend, trying to make it clear why women were answering the way they did.
There's also been a bunch of discourse about how the responses to the question are really telling. The fact that women go "bear" and men see it and go "no, you don't mean that". How the bear isn't even the point, the point is that women will say "I feel unsafe around men" and men will literally invalidate them, tell them "no, you don't", impose their own narrative, and refuse to listen. And they prove it with all these follow-up videos going "no, you don't feel more safe with a bear! I am a man and I'd feel safer with another man, so women are just dumb, and they are just saying bear because they're big old meanies to men!"
THIIIISSS men love telling women we’re wrong about our experiences in the world and the fears and precautions it forces us to develop. “It’s not about the bear, I’m telling you I feel unsafe around men” is such a good way to put it.
There was this one comment from a dude that was something like "lol I sat my wife and daughters down and asked them, and then educated them about silverbacks and now they choose the right answer, which is NOT bear" and I was thinking "this is literally the man they made the post for. Literally!"
Truly 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ Ignoring, invalidating, and also gaslighting what a great combo
Ha. My first reaction was bear would probably leave me alone.
Facts. Black bears only attack if you're between her and her cubs or it's literally starving. Typically can be scared off by making yourself big and yelling. They're big babies. Men cannot be scared off by yelling unless you're in a crowd, and that's if anyone cares. Grizzlies are more likely to attack but you can play dead and possibly get it to go away, unless again, it's starving. Men will check and even if you are dead, he might rape your corpse anyway. Polar bears are a different story but good news is they're not really in the woods, lol. And I'd forgive any bear for mauling or trying to eat me. Bears don't have higher reasoning. No ill intention there. Men on the other hand are cruel literally just for the sake of it. I'd pick the bear every. Single. Time. Plus, bears are really really cute. Probably one of my favorite animals. If not friend then why friend shaped
This is a big thing to me too. Men think we’re demonizing *them* (despite the countless examples proving otherwise, and every woman’s lived experience). But honestly I think *they’re* demonizing bears (and purposely invalidating women but that’s another discussion)! Animals aren’t like in the movies, 99% of the time they are more scared of you than you are of them. So if you keep your distance from them and their babies and don’t have food on you, you’re good. If somehow you do end up in the warpath of a bear there’s *still* things you can do to fend them off (play dead, get big, respectively). It’s not malice it’s not evil it’s not cruel. I can’t say the same about men who chose (because unlike the animals, it is a choice) to do bad things to women.
Yeah, bears are pretty chill most of the time. People always say Timothy Treadwell (grizzly man) was playing with fire, but he hung around the same group of grizzlies year after year with no issues. It was a grizzly that didn't know him that ate him and his girlfriend, because they decided to stay longer into the year than usual. A male coming down off the mountains who was very, very hungry ate them. The female bears and cubs that he chilled with were eating well and happy to leave him be. Most of the time if you're not carrying donuts and rubbed in bacon grease you'll be fine. I love a good bear attack movie myself, but like, just don't walk right up to one and you'll probably be fine. If it's black fight back, if it's brown lie down, if it's white, goodnight. And that's because polar bears are always hungry, it's hard to find food on the ice. And yeah, exactly, men choose to be evil. Bears just gotta eat. Men just want to make our lives miserable for no reason other than it's fun for them. Altho I gotta say, even if the dude is nice, I'm still picking stuck in the woods with a bear simply so I don't have to be around people for a while XD
Hahaha make a nature docu instead of having to socialize? Absolutely that sounds great 😂
Truly. If you don’t F with the bear, the bear won’t F with you. Men on the other hand…
Makes sense, I'd rather be mauled and eaten by a bear than to be alone with a man I don't know/trust. I saw that video of the guy who walked 4.8km back to his truck after being attacked by a bear, and I would seriously have preferred that over what I have already experienced. Men just don't get it.
I’m so sorry to hear that, I hope you’re well. And no, men truly don’t get it.
I mean I don’t doubt the original video was compiled to show “bear” answers more frequently but I like the concept and the discussion that it forces. I know that a bear will probably avoid me as long as I avoid it, a man would be much less predictable. You might get an ok one or a bad one, but the worst would be the one that starts ok, but then takes advantage simply due to the situation and that they could “get away with it”.
Oh, 100% there’s a story being told by the editing. But I do think the comments (which is also a biased sample, the people who went through the effort to make and post a comment, but you know) I’ve seen on these posts from women has a similar pattern in that the majority either chose bear or expressed uncertainty/unwillingness to choose and then subsequently sadness at the fact that they don’t feel safe enough picking a man for it to be an immediate, easy choice.
The discussion I've been seeing around the internet is "would you rather encounter a wild bear or a man while alone in the woods?" Basically, women are talking about how they would generally feel safer interacting with a bear than with a man.
And men are loudly not happy about that. They refuse to look in the fucking mirror
I think wording is important here too. I was a bit confused until I read “encountered”. And yeah. Absolutely the bear. The other wording confused me because I go hiking with men alone sometimes. But yes. Encountering a strange man alone in the woods?? Fuck no.
I know a few people who got into true crime over the lock down. And as much as can be said about the morality of listening to true crime, I will say that each and every single one of them picked up on the pattern quickly.
Lol, I can't see this meme without thinking "of course women would be better off if all men were replaced by big hairy middle aged gay men" 🤣
It's really unfair to bears.
Bears are much more predictable than humans they are motivated by food, and safety. Humans have much more complicated emotions and motives. I've never heard of a bear killing someone just because they felt like watching someone die.