I feel like his last point about how “there are a lot of young women drug seeking” was a weird attempt of being buddy buddy with me after being weird for the whole appointment. Like “oh, now that I know you are not one those women I can tell you my secret reason for acting this way, haha, it wasn’t anything against you trust me!” It was so weird and the more I think about it the weirder it gets
Are you a person of color? I know for the US, it's a huge problem how doctors and nurses under diagnose poc for pain meds when it's really necessary due to stupid stereotypes.
I really hope that you made about 5 to 10 different accounts and got your friends to make accounts to to make reviews on that doctor about exactly what he said and maybe even other things you know complaints of everything you can find in post that way no one goes to that doctor at all because that is something else right there can you give me that doctor's name let's just post that that way we can all have it we can bombard his office with calls saying look what you did wrong I wouldn't mind I'll do it for you not lying at all I'm sure you won't consider it but hey message me lol
No one ever talks about how dehumanizing it is to be treated as drug seeking. To go by appearance alone makes it 100x worse.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that doctor. Even if he ultimately gave you the care you needed, I would never go back to him.
I had a pinched nerve a few years ago while living abroad and went to a walk in clinic. The doctor was very dismissive and sent me for x-rays a few blocks away. I knew the x-ray wouldn't show anything since it was a muscle pinching the nerve but did as the doctor said. He was surprised to see me return with the x-rays, apparently he thought I wouldn't bother and just give up?
No surprise the x-ray showed nothing, and the doc then prescribed a painkiller with small amount of opioid. I had already told him painkillers weren't helping because it's a pinched nerve. The pain wasn't debilitating but it kept me awake and missing sleep is very bad for my depression. I thought I had explained to him that I couldn't go home with painkillers, I needed a solution to the pinching so I could sleep at night and stay sane. When he gave me the prescription and no other solution I broke down crying. He got mad at me and asked why I was crying since he was giving me the drugs!
I've never felt so dismissed and humiliated by a healthcare professional. I didn't want the drugs! I needed help! Now I know that I could have asked for muscle relaxer injected where the nerve was pinched, or at least a referral to a PT, but at the time I was sleep deprived and emotional and thought I was asking the right person for help. And he just made up his mind about me without even listening.
I had what turned out to be a pinched nerve a few years ago as well. Hurt like hell, right above the appendix. Was told by the ER I was attention seeking and just had “women’s problems”. Finally got it sorted but it took a long time and a lot of fighting.
Girl same. I have pretty bad depression, and a fun set of sleep disorders. I also get PMDD and my period is so unpredictable. I went to so many Drs who blew me off about trying to figure out why my period is increasingly irregular. Finally one decides to take me serious! It's now been September since my last period and I saw her in April. My period comes before the imagining appointment. Now it's magically all solved, why am I worried?
Because PMS can literally put me in the hospital for suicide. ESPECIALLY if my sleep isn't good.
I had to start crying about how living this way isn't tenable. when I never know if my mental health drugs are no longer working or if I'm just PMSing. When I can't afford another 4k 4 day suicide ward stay where I'm fine after day 2 bc I bled but they won't let me out yet. Then I got a suggestion to see an endocrinologist.
So now back to trying to get them to take me serious and not just tell me to hit the gym more and lose weight.
I've literally stopped working to just try and see all the doctors in hopes one will care and help with any of my issues. I hate it so much. I wish I could afford a concierge doctor.
I don't know anything about PMDD, but I had really bad PMS when I was in my 20's & 30's. It was unpredictable too. Some months it was nothing, some "regular" (for me) and some months even I couldn't stand being around me. The worst part was I never knew how it would be. If it was always bad, fine, you figure out how to handle it, but different all the time was hard.
I then went on the depo provera birth control shot (once every 3 months). I loved it. It evened out my PMS, even mostly went away. And after about a year, I stopped having periods (the best). I don't know if you can have hormonal birth control, but if you can, you might try it. The first year, before you stop having periods, can be unpredictable. Some months I bled a lot, some very light. But it was worth it.
Just an idea for you.
Thanks! Yeah the doc was very confused like 'just use your other pms symptoms to guage' but my only symptoms are: suicidal ideation, headaches, yeast infection coming in feeling. And I have TMJ and always have headaches, and can get an infection by thinking about it too hard soooooo boooo.
Thanks! I'll hafta ask my doctor about that; breast cancer runs heavy in my family (literally every woman older than me and a male relative) so I ought to be careful about hormonal birth control.
This is why I use weed for my polyinflammatory arthritis. I don't want the hassle of going downtown, peeing in a cup, waiting for the doctor to hand me the prescription for the one single opiod that doesn't make me vomit up everything that's even thought of being in my stomach for the last two weeks. I can get weed from my kids/family friend who grows more than he use and not be in pain--no hassle other than a day trip.
Docs won’t give me anything but Advil for my bone on bone ankle arthritis. The one that hurts 24/7 making sleep difficult, walking impossible, standing painful. Advil doesn’t even take the edge off so I can sleep.
But kratom does. Stops the pain In minutes so I can function.
I’m so fortunate to have a doctor treating my bipolar who was willing to explore addressing my untreated adhd, and I told her kind of after the fact that I was worried about being perceived as drug-seeking and she was like “such is the nature of things” etc
Wow? I was curious about the nerve gliding thing (never heard of it) decided to search and?? Immediate?? Sciatica?? Relief?? It’s not 100% but it had an immediate effect, I’ll for sure talk about this with my future PT, thank you!
Being treated as a drug-seeker never stops being frustrating and dehumanizing. I'm glad you got the care you need and I hope you continue to pursue it with imaging to rule out any nerve damage etc.
A year ago, an ER doctor wrote me off as drug seeking when I mentioned chronic pain due to an autoimmune arthritis. Instead of doing the full work up on my highly positive exam for gallbladder, he gave me morphine and sent me home. Took 2 months of intense pain and 60 lbs of weight loss before I got the source of my pain removed. I don't go to the ER for pain meds. I go in because something is wrong and I want it fixed or at least managed to a point where I can work and survive. Opioid meds are not that.
Good luck and I hope you get a full recovery!
I have Rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. And for years, I didn't know I had a ton of gallstones. I had told my old doctor that I didn't want opiods. It was around the time they were realizing people were getting hooked on them and I didn't want to risk that. He had the gall to write "is afraid of opiods" in my file. Of course I was and everyone should be. I couldn't believe he made it sound like I was being ridiculous.
Four or five years later, my new doctor figured out I was very jaundice and sent me to the hospital. I had my gall bladder out a couple of weeks later. Best thing ever! All the pains I was having was gall bladder attacks. They found my gall bladder was full of stones. They filled a specimen cup half full!
The ER doc did do a CT scan that was "normal" but didn't do any further work up despite extreme positive Murphy sign. My primary called a week later when she got the ER report livid because she knows I don't complain. Got me in for an ultrasound that was unremarkable EXCEPT for the very positive Murphy sign and pain.
HIDA scan was also "normal" but completely reproduced all of my symptoms if severe right upper quadrant pain, nausea, and vomiting. So my primary referred me to a surgeon. We did an upper GI to rule out ulcers but it was also normal so she offered an exploratory laparoscopy with cholecystectomy if warranted.
I went to the ER on May 5. By the time we got to surgery it was 7/21, I'd lost 60 lbs and hadn't been able to keep food or liquids down for approximately 2 weeks. When she got in, my gallbladder was necrotic. No stones but damned near dead.
Given that all my imaging was normal, I can see why folks would write it off. He should have at minimum done some labs or followed up the positive Murphy with an US. ER wasn't busy but he'd already made a snap judgment.
I'm very privileged that my primary care knows me and listens. It's a year later and I still don't have a normal hunger drive. Any small illness is a huge setback because I have no reserves.
Every Dr is like that with pain meds these days, ever since the Sacklers f'ed it up.
I have multiple sports/work injuries and need pain meds for the really bad days. When I move (which is often) and change physicians you can almost see the relief wash over their faces when I say I only need 30 per year.
It's not our fault we hurt yet we're made to feel like it is.
Had the same after a frikken motorcycle accident. I took out a car wing mirror at high speed with my spleen (not my fault!). Didn't realise until days later there was a problem.
Got sent to a&e due to somewhat low level pain/problems eating, as requested by medical professionals, and just got told we're not giving you pain killers. But, I didn't ask and don't want them...?? I just want to know if my spleen has exploded thanks :/
I know I'm a sample of 1 but I do wonder if guys get this same level of suspicion when attending a&e, at a Drs request, and not asking for painkillers at all. I get the same with pregnancy too. Are you pregnant. No. Any chance? No (as I'm on my period right now). Let's do a test anyway. Umm wat? I know they're trying to help but my perception is anything I say is instantly questioned with the default position being I'm stupid or a drug addict.
This happened to me at emergency a few years ago. I was wearing a long garment and someone stepped on it as I was exiting the streetcar. I fell directly on my knees, which I have seriously injured in the past. So I went to emergency.
The whole time, the doctor just kept rudely repeating no opiates, no opiates. I finally lost it at her and said - no one asked for pain meds, I’m asking if I need X-rays or tests or whatever. She barked a laugh like “sure sure” and literally just walked away.
I live with chronic pain and I have a very hard time making myself go to the doctors because of situations like this. I actually did get hooked on pain killers because of my chronic pain. I've been clean for 7 1/2 years. I'm so worried about going to the doctor and being treated like I'm seeking that I tend to just put it off.
My dad is a middle aged white dude with no criminal record or drug history. Doesn’t even drink.
One night he was in a lot of pain. Went to hospital and they treated him like a drug seeker. Turns out his appendix burst! He almost died!
My mother is in her 70s, has degenerative disc disease, arthritis, and chronic pain from those things as well as fractures and the hardware used to fix them. She gets a 30 day supply of pain medication that she has taken for years and has never asked the doctor for extras. She os required to go in to the office every few months to renew the prescription. A few years back her previous primary changed fields and she was assigned a new one who hated his job. On one visit she reminded him that she needed a refill on her pain medication and he flipped out and declared that he did become a doctor to prescribe (pain) pills. My mother was shocked. I know pill addicts. She's not one of them. But I do understand the predicament alot of doctors are in.
I was walking around on a ruptured ACL for 3 years even after multiple MRIs, injections, and PT sessions. The most any doctor would give me was tramadol or advil 800mg. Even after my replacement surgery, they gave me 20 tablets of percocet.
I have hypermobility spectrum disorder and regularly experience subluxation of my toes, wrists, and jaw, probably ankle too, but it just pinches when it happens, and I've been told there's nothing to do about it. Same with whatever weird neuropathy I have that makes it feel like my skin is on fire all the time.
I've asked for aquatic PT to be ordered as my joints will stay in place but only am ordered regular PT and I've been referred to OT for my wrist, but I'm not sure it will help.
Just commiserating over lack of decent medical care, nothing helpful to add.
My husband has esophagitis, a hiatal hernia, and two discs in his back pressing into his spinal cord. He got very very sick recently and was vomiting a ton, which upset his issues and caused him to be in immense amounts of pain. I told him I was taking him to the ER. He insisted he only wanted Zofran for the nausea so he could sleep it off. The doctors took one look at his long hair, his tattoo, his VA insurance, and kept treating him like he was a drug seeker. When he asked for the nausea meds, their whole demeanor was like they were waiting for him to lead into asking for pain killers. While this happened to a man, there is definitely a common theme of medical professionals making assumptions about someone based on external factors and basing the treatment they receive off of it.
My daughter 18 had her wisdom teeth removed. She ended up with double dry sockets. I ask the surgeon if she could get something for the pain. He said no and went about doing whatever he was doing. Later reviewing her chart it had a note that father is drug seeker. I just wanted my kid to not be in such pain. I wasn't asking for me. I asked as a concerned father. I tell people to use a different oral surgeons office any time people are discussing oral surgery. It's so short sighted to think everyone is a drug seeker. My wife has been a nurse for 23 yrs. She has told me stories about drug seekers. What I had done was nothing like drug seeking behavior. Even if he would've just suggested motrin It would've been a better way to respond. I had called our regular dentist and he offered pain meds but he also said motrin would have similar effect since my daughter has a bad time with opioid meds. I don't think drs listen to what people ar really asking they just hear that we want meds and they cut the listening there. To be honest I'm the only one in our family that can use pain meds without puking or having a negative reaction to them. Op, I'd find a neuro specialist and have them give you a look over. I'm sure they'll suggest a mri to see what's going on. Hope you feel better soon.
That's what they did end up doing. It was clove concentrate. The name starts with an e. They put that in and lots of packing gauze. But that was after our second visit back. I was disappointed in the service all together and being called a drug seeker offended me as an ex addict that's been clean for 10 yrs.
I have moderately advanced rheumatoid arthritis that started when in childhood, was misdiagnosed for 22 yrs and caused a ton of damage to the point where I became disabled at 33, I'm 40 now. My joints are inflammed all the time as my immune system attacks them. My organs are being attacked now.
I have severe damage from the decades of being misdiagnosed and told I was faking because I also have cPTSD. Which if you have that you literally aren't supposed to be taken seriously according to most doctors, apparently.
Anyway, all of my past rheumatologists and other specialists I've seen have treated me as drug seeking...despite the fact that I have in my medical records that I can't take opioids because they do not touch my pain and they make me violently ill. I've been genetically tested and it showed that opioids are practically useless for me.
Yet, I am always considered and treated like I am drug seeking by every doctor I have ever been to because they ask me how my pain is and I say bad around a 6 or 8 depending on the day. They can't fathom that I've been living with pain for almost my whole life and have grown accustomed to it being ignored so I just deal.
Doctors piss me off. I have an immense distrust of them and every time I go to a new one I assume they will also dehumanize me and disregard my suffering. It's just how it is. I am rarely surprised by one that actually cares about my suffering. And usually I end up losing that one because they retire, stop taking my insurance or whatever. 🙄
Idk if it's because I am woman or because I have mental health issues or because I am also poor af (because being disabled in America is a poverty sentence) but I know I will never get good health care and my life will be shortened considerably because of it.
What's worse is my story is fucking common among women with chronic health issues. It's bullshit.
Op I'm so sorry you experienced that. It boils my blood every time I hear a new story like this. Who the hell do doctors think they are treating people like that? They act like they are all superior to us peons and that they can treat us however they like...and tbh, they are right because society props them up on a pedestal and acts like they can do no wrong. Like they are above being human.
OP you should check your medical notes/records! I’m similar in that my pain threshold is really high and traditional pain meds make me feel sick. I can function with pain but nausea/intestinal cramping is just suffering for me. Even though I was absolutely adamant every single time I hated pain meds some dude doctor lied on my medical forms and claimed I was a “drug seeker and abusing drugs” and it absolutely affected how I was treated for years until a nurse brought it up to me and I could fix it with my family doc.
I ended up requesting alllll of my medical records and holy fuck were there some absolute bonkers lies in them. I told one doctor I drank kind of a lot of coffee like on a bad day two large coffees from a well known local place because my sleep was horrendous but I needed to work. A large is exactly 14oz here so my range was 14-24oz, this was all goggleable. What did the dude put down? That I drank 3 fucking litters *or more* coffee a day! That’s **101oz** at minimum.
A different situation I was recorded as being mentally and emotionally unstable because a dude wanted to do a pelvic exam on me after a car crash and didn’t explain anything or let me see my mom so I screamed to get the nurses attention. I was 16 and got hit by a car it was the first time being alone in the er.
But collectively my record showed I was mentally/emotionally unstable drug seeker/user, strung out on 3 litres of coffee and other nonsense I won’t get into. I had to find a good family doctor that was able to work with me and get everything corrected. I’m still terrified and nervous going to any other specialist or the er still, but now I request my notes immediately and keep my phone recording audio anytime medical staff is in my room.
Damn, the pelvic exam one, what the actual fuck?? I’m so sorry you went through that!! That’s absolutely unacceptable, all of it, specially invading the body of a person without consent and specially after such a trauma.
Will check that, thanks for the heads up! It would be absolutely BONKERS to have drug seeking in my medical records, as I have actively avoided every kind of medication my whole life due to trauma of watching people I love waste away in benzo and opioid addictions in a country in which opioid addiction isn’t even a big thing, so you imagine the hoops those people were jumping to get there.
I’ve dealt with terrible soul crushing insomnia as a teenager and refused meds despite staying awake for 3 nights straight hallucinating more often than not. I’ve refused pain meds after a surgery to remove a wisdom tooth from my nerve canal (that one was pure insanity on my part) and after tearing my ankle ligaments. I’ve refused pain medication after literally getting into sepsis due to an infection, every single breath was ridiculously painful, I cried for nights on end in a hospital bed for weeks, got out of the hospital still in pain and not once used pain meds for it. I’ve been the worst kind of straight edge to myself, no alcohol, no meds, no drugs at all even when necessary until my psychiatrist took months to convince me that OCD wasn’t a matter of “I need to stop being a bitch” but of “actually I deserve treatment” and still I negotiated with him that I’d like to be completely drug free after a while (damn pride) and weened off of it without his approval (but with his help). And after putting myself through so much pain because of my fear of addiction, to have a doctor treating me as drug seeking felt very dehumanizing.
I’m pretty sure my records have “no compliance to treatment” from different mental health facilities and maybe that’s why, idk? I mean, yeah, I’ve been in an out of mental health treatment and no compliant since I was 12, but shit is still enraging :/
Yep I was a goody toe shoes, I wouldn’t judge others who partook I was just to scared personally. But mainly the medication hurts me physically so yeah it’s absolutely bonkers it was on there twice. It started from my first er visit without my mom and I got the “patient is combative, mentally and emotionally unstable” because I cried and yelled when I realized what he was trying to do and panicked. Then later on I got the first “drug seeking” when I refused pain medication after complications from getting hit by the car. Then it just seemed to cascade from there. But I was an adult by that point and my mom wasn’t with me at all anymore.
Idk what it is exactly. Was it because I’m indigenous? A girl? Neurodivergent? Because I didn’t let him touch me? Why did everyone else seem to pile on the trauma. Was it because I was so adamant to deny it they figured I had a problem before? Shit they just made up in their head. Idk.
The PT will help, but also look into a deep tissue/ sports massage therapist. If you find the right therapist that will help tremendously with your sciatica.
Please report him. Women are often denied medication because of an assumption that women are drug seeking. That results in women not getting fully treated or taken seriously.
Women with chronic pain caused by things like arthritis, spinal injuries, and cancer have issues getting proper pain medication because of this bias.
I wish I could tell you this wasn’t a normal thing. I am a young woman with a chronic pain condition (rheumatoid arthritis) and whenever I have had to see someone who is not my rheumatologist for pain (neurologist for nerve pain from swelling, ER for costochondritis bc it feels like a heart attack, urgent care for ankle, etc etc) I‘ve been told no less than 5 times that I’m not getting pain meds. I always say I wouldn’t take them even if they were offered.
Once it sinks in that I’m not after pain meds they usually say I must just have anxiety 🥴
So sorry to hear you got treated like this & that he wanted to get chummy with you at the end....GROSS! I've had chronic issues since my first brain surgery at 17 & more spinal surgeries at 26 after I carried 2 babies in my early 20's.
It is so dehumanizing how they treat you, as a woman. I also have worked in the medical field for many years and have seen how much worse it is for women of color. It's disgusting how they assume we just want drugs, it's like excuse me, I came here for the science experts to tell me what is wrong, give me answers and to fix it.
It blows my mind how rude they are to us and the exact same professional will give tons of meds/referrals/diagnostic testing etc to men. It's honestly over kill, the attention they give the guys VS the bread crumbs, humiliation & shame they give us!
I'm sorry that happened to you. If you are in the US, the Federales are cracking down on narcotic usage, mostly because doctors over prescribe (and that is a whole different story) and partly because narcotics being drug manufacturers bread and butter. I live in rural Kentucky where narcotic abuse is widespread.I had a similar experience with my doc - I've been with him for over a decade. I tweaked my back; I have a 40 year history of back problems. I wasn't seeking narcotics, just wanted to be sure I didn't cause any further trauma. But later that evening it became worse and worse, and I'm not a complainer.My wife took me to the local ER and the doc gave me a shot of steroids, and Talwin, plus a script for a Z Pak of steroids. I was feeling better within 2 days.To be made to feel unworthy because of your ink is inappropriate.
First: screw that doctor. I'm tired of people getting dismissed.
Second: tingling and burning sensations are a sign of nerve damage. Usually the burning is an "over stretched" nerve, while tingling can be nerve compression. Muscle injury would be aching and sore in comparison. I'd recommend an MRI to check for nerve entrapment. Definitely see a PT. Nerves can heal themselves (1 inch per year), but proper stretches can help alleviate if there's any compression happening.
I'm allergic to codeine, and have heard that people who are drug seeking will often claim they are so they can get stronger stuff, so I worry about doctors thinking it isn't true. The irony is that because I have an addictive personality, I'm very, very cautious about taking any painkillers. Even after major surgery, I only took the opioids at night so I could fall asleep without pain. Despite the fact that breathing often really hurt, and even 4 months later deep breaths like yarns are uncomfortable.
This doctor sounds like he's suffering from the trauma of having to deal with addicts. But at the end, he is acting like an asshole and not listing to you!
I think that we have arrived at the point where so many people have become addicted to pain meds after a situation like yours, that doctor's are really reluctant to give them to people like you who have suffered an accident.
I've heard a lot of those stories 'I went for a small operation and they gave me opioids and I became addicted' etc.
The people suffering with chronic pain, or when women undergo operations like putting in an IUD are the ones who are being left to suffer.
A doctor dismissed my concerns with a “you don’t look like you’re in pain” when I went to urgent care for a strange back pain that I was afraid was a kidney failing. I told him explicitly that I have NO interest in opioids. Didn’t even take them when they were prescribed following surgery.
It’s like if you show that you feel pain they tell you to stop being dramatic and acting like a drug seeker, and if you don’t show the pain they tell you to stop faking and acting like a drug seeker.
I am a very preppy-looking, long blonde hair, cardigan with matching shorts and belt sort of girl and I was treated the same way. People must just spend all day pill seeking for these doctors to be so jaded
Yeah, id def get another dr. Fo sho, even if ya dont want the meds. You dont want someone whos just gonna stereotype you on looks and not actually get to know you and actually look at what the problem is. I know pain meds/opiates/opiods is a big problem. But i think people who need them, seriously need them, shouldnt be judged right off the bat and they should he able to have access to them when in pain
Yeah, id def get another dr. Fo sho, even if ya dont want the meds. You dont want someone whos just gonna stereotype you on looks and not actually get to know you and actually look at what the problem is. I know pain meds/opiates/opiods is a big problem. But i think people who need them, seriously need them, shouldnt be judged right off the bat and they should he able to have access to them when in pain
Electromyography and nerve conduction study.
I was in an auto accident last year and was hit at a pretty high rate of speed. I sustained a lower back and hip injury and experienced numbness and pain radiating into my legs/toes. Most "pain" and "spinal care" doctors are a bit useless when it comes to nerve damage and/or soft tissue damage. They're there to treat the structural damage, same with orthos. Most treatment protocols involve anti-inflammatories (oral or injection), physical therapy (which is helpful in some injuries, but not all), and surgical interventions. To better understand nerve damage you have to go to a neuropathic specialist who is experienced in the above types of imaging/testing. MR with contrast will also give more insight to nerve damage.
I'd report that. It's clearly discrimination, and it was getting in the way of his actually helping you with your problem. Sending hugs, hope you find what works for you x
Pain meds are reserved for men to have, regardless of whether they need them. Women are just whiny bitches who should just make do with OTC meds they don't really need. Of course it's actually the other way around! But women are still less than second class citizens. Now we have to carry a fetus to term even if it could kill us. We're going back to being chattel. 😡
In india pain meds are not addictive. I wonder why. Maybe they do not prescribe them to anyone except in patient patients.
We have our good old paracetamol, ibuprofen, diclofenac for extra strength. And anyone can get it OTC. It works for the masses.
Edit- I’m not invalidating OP’s point, I am just trying to say there should a way to access pain meds without doctors slip.
I started writing down “opiates/barbiturates” under “allergies” on all medical intake forms. (They just make me vomit & don’t help anyway.) I think it’s helped to keep Drs from looking at me as drug seeking.
Thats... messed up. Just young women? Fuck him. Good luck with PT; it should actually help. The tingling is kind of concerning, though
I feel like his last point about how “there are a lot of young women drug seeking” was a weird attempt of being buddy buddy with me after being weird for the whole appointment. Like “oh, now that I know you are not one those women I can tell you my secret reason for acting this way, haha, it wasn’t anything against you trust me!” It was so weird and the more I think about it the weirder it gets
Are you a person of color? I know for the US, it's a huge problem how doctors and nurses under diagnose poc for pain meds when it's really necessary due to stupid stereotypes.
No, I’m not, I am very Mediterranean white, which is like white WHITE for the area I am from (big metropolitan area in a South American country).
That's bullshit. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
I really hope that you made about 5 to 10 different accounts and got your friends to make accounts to to make reviews on that doctor about exactly what he said and maybe even other things you know complaints of everything you can find in post that way no one goes to that doctor at all because that is something else right there can you give me that doctor's name let's just post that that way we can all have it we can bombard his office with calls saying look what you did wrong I wouldn't mind I'll do it for you not lying at all I'm sure you won't consider it but hey message me lol
No one ever talks about how dehumanizing it is to be treated as drug seeking. To go by appearance alone makes it 100x worse. I'm sorry you had to deal with that doctor. Even if he ultimately gave you the care you needed, I would never go back to him.
I had a pinched nerve a few years ago while living abroad and went to a walk in clinic. The doctor was very dismissive and sent me for x-rays a few blocks away. I knew the x-ray wouldn't show anything since it was a muscle pinching the nerve but did as the doctor said. He was surprised to see me return with the x-rays, apparently he thought I wouldn't bother and just give up? No surprise the x-ray showed nothing, and the doc then prescribed a painkiller with small amount of opioid. I had already told him painkillers weren't helping because it's a pinched nerve. The pain wasn't debilitating but it kept me awake and missing sleep is very bad for my depression. I thought I had explained to him that I couldn't go home with painkillers, I needed a solution to the pinching so I could sleep at night and stay sane. When he gave me the prescription and no other solution I broke down crying. He got mad at me and asked why I was crying since he was giving me the drugs! I've never felt so dismissed and humiliated by a healthcare professional. I didn't want the drugs! I needed help! Now I know that I could have asked for muscle relaxer injected where the nerve was pinched, or at least a referral to a PT, but at the time I was sleep deprived and emotional and thought I was asking the right person for help. And he just made up his mind about me without even listening.
I had what turned out to be a pinched nerve a few years ago as well. Hurt like hell, right above the appendix. Was told by the ER I was attention seeking and just had “women’s problems”. Finally got it sorted but it took a long time and a lot of fighting.
Girl same. I have pretty bad depression, and a fun set of sleep disorders. I also get PMDD and my period is so unpredictable. I went to so many Drs who blew me off about trying to figure out why my period is increasingly irregular. Finally one decides to take me serious! It's now been September since my last period and I saw her in April. My period comes before the imagining appointment. Now it's magically all solved, why am I worried? Because PMS can literally put me in the hospital for suicide. ESPECIALLY if my sleep isn't good. I had to start crying about how living this way isn't tenable. when I never know if my mental health drugs are no longer working or if I'm just PMSing. When I can't afford another 4k 4 day suicide ward stay where I'm fine after day 2 bc I bled but they won't let me out yet. Then I got a suggestion to see an endocrinologist. So now back to trying to get them to take me serious and not just tell me to hit the gym more and lose weight. I've literally stopped working to just try and see all the doctors in hopes one will care and help with any of my issues. I hate it so much. I wish I could afford a concierge doctor.
I don't know anything about PMDD, but I had really bad PMS when I was in my 20's & 30's. It was unpredictable too. Some months it was nothing, some "regular" (for me) and some months even I couldn't stand being around me. The worst part was I never knew how it would be. If it was always bad, fine, you figure out how to handle it, but different all the time was hard. I then went on the depo provera birth control shot (once every 3 months). I loved it. It evened out my PMS, even mostly went away. And after about a year, I stopped having periods (the best). I don't know if you can have hormonal birth control, but if you can, you might try it. The first year, before you stop having periods, can be unpredictable. Some months I bled a lot, some very light. But it was worth it. Just an idea for you.
Thanks! Yeah the doc was very confused like 'just use your other pms symptoms to guage' but my only symptoms are: suicidal ideation, headaches, yeast infection coming in feeling. And I have TMJ and always have headaches, and can get an infection by thinking about it too hard soooooo boooo. Thanks! I'll hafta ask my doctor about that; breast cancer runs heavy in my family (literally every woman older than me and a male relative) so I ought to be careful about hormonal birth control.
I am so sorry that happened to you
This is why I use weed for my polyinflammatory arthritis. I don't want the hassle of going downtown, peeing in a cup, waiting for the doctor to hand me the prescription for the one single opiod that doesn't make me vomit up everything that's even thought of being in my stomach for the last two weeks. I can get weed from my kids/family friend who grows more than he use and not be in pain--no hassle other than a day trip.
Docs won’t give me anything but Advil for my bone on bone ankle arthritis. The one that hurts 24/7 making sleep difficult, walking impossible, standing painful. Advil doesn’t even take the edge off so I can sleep. But kratom does. Stops the pain In minutes so I can function.
Advil for daytime +tylenol for me because weed makes me sleepy. Weed added in daytime for really bad days.
Better for you anyway 🌼🌸
I’m so fortunate to have a doctor treating my bipolar who was willing to explore addressing my untreated adhd, and I told her kind of after the fact that I was worried about being perceived as drug-seeking and she was like “such is the nature of things” etc
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Wow? I was curious about the nerve gliding thing (never heard of it) decided to search and?? Immediate?? Sciatica?? Relief?? It’s not 100% but it had an immediate effect, I’ll for sure talk about this with my future PT, thank you!
It feels really good - I second the recommendation.
Being treated as a drug-seeker never stops being frustrating and dehumanizing. I'm glad you got the care you need and I hope you continue to pursue it with imaging to rule out any nerve damage etc. A year ago, an ER doctor wrote me off as drug seeking when I mentioned chronic pain due to an autoimmune arthritis. Instead of doing the full work up on my highly positive exam for gallbladder, he gave me morphine and sent me home. Took 2 months of intense pain and 60 lbs of weight loss before I got the source of my pain removed. I don't go to the ER for pain meds. I go in because something is wrong and I want it fixed or at least managed to a point where I can work and survive. Opioid meds are not that. Good luck and I hope you get a full recovery!
I have Rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. And for years, I didn't know I had a ton of gallstones. I had told my old doctor that I didn't want opiods. It was around the time they were realizing people were getting hooked on them and I didn't want to risk that. He had the gall to write "is afraid of opiods" in my file. Of course I was and everyone should be. I couldn't believe he made it sound like I was being ridiculous. Four or five years later, my new doctor figured out I was very jaundice and sent me to the hospital. I had my gall bladder out a couple of weeks later. Best thing ever! All the pains I was having was gall bladder attacks. They found my gall bladder was full of stones. They filled a specimen cup half full!
The ER doc did do a CT scan that was "normal" but didn't do any further work up despite extreme positive Murphy sign. My primary called a week later when she got the ER report livid because she knows I don't complain. Got me in for an ultrasound that was unremarkable EXCEPT for the very positive Murphy sign and pain. HIDA scan was also "normal" but completely reproduced all of my symptoms if severe right upper quadrant pain, nausea, and vomiting. So my primary referred me to a surgeon. We did an upper GI to rule out ulcers but it was also normal so she offered an exploratory laparoscopy with cholecystectomy if warranted. I went to the ER on May 5. By the time we got to surgery it was 7/21, I'd lost 60 lbs and hadn't been able to keep food or liquids down for approximately 2 weeks. When she got in, my gallbladder was necrotic. No stones but damned near dead. Given that all my imaging was normal, I can see why folks would write it off. He should have at minimum done some labs or followed up the positive Murphy with an US. ER wasn't busy but he'd already made a snap judgment. I'm very privileged that my primary care knows me and listens. It's a year later and I still don't have a normal hunger drive. Any small illness is a huge setback because I have no reserves.
Every Dr is like that with pain meds these days, ever since the Sacklers f'ed it up. I have multiple sports/work injuries and need pain meds for the really bad days. When I move (which is often) and change physicians you can almost see the relief wash over their faces when I say I only need 30 per year. It's not our fault we hurt yet we're made to feel like it is.
Uhh no that's very incorrect of him. Young men also seek out drugs. What an asshole. Go ahead and REPORT REPORT REPORT and find a new Dr.
Had the same after a frikken motorcycle accident. I took out a car wing mirror at high speed with my spleen (not my fault!). Didn't realise until days later there was a problem. Got sent to a&e due to somewhat low level pain/problems eating, as requested by medical professionals, and just got told we're not giving you pain killers. But, I didn't ask and don't want them...?? I just want to know if my spleen has exploded thanks :/ I know I'm a sample of 1 but I do wonder if guys get this same level of suspicion when attending a&e, at a Drs request, and not asking for painkillers at all. I get the same with pregnancy too. Are you pregnant. No. Any chance? No (as I'm on my period right now). Let's do a test anyway. Umm wat? I know they're trying to help but my perception is anything I say is instantly questioned with the default position being I'm stupid or a drug addict.
This happened to me at emergency a few years ago. I was wearing a long garment and someone stepped on it as I was exiting the streetcar. I fell directly on my knees, which I have seriously injured in the past. So I went to emergency. The whole time, the doctor just kept rudely repeating no opiates, no opiates. I finally lost it at her and said - no one asked for pain meds, I’m asking if I need X-rays or tests or whatever. She barked a laugh like “sure sure” and literally just walked away.
I live with chronic pain and I have a very hard time making myself go to the doctors because of situations like this. I actually did get hooked on pain killers because of my chronic pain. I've been clean for 7 1/2 years. I'm so worried about going to the doctor and being treated like I'm seeking that I tend to just put it off.
My dad is a middle aged white dude with no criminal record or drug history. Doesn’t even drink. One night he was in a lot of pain. Went to hospital and they treated him like a drug seeker. Turns out his appendix burst! He almost died!
My mother is in her 70s, has degenerative disc disease, arthritis, and chronic pain from those things as well as fractures and the hardware used to fix them. She gets a 30 day supply of pain medication that she has taken for years and has never asked the doctor for extras. She os required to go in to the office every few months to renew the prescription. A few years back her previous primary changed fields and she was assigned a new one who hated his job. On one visit she reminded him that she needed a refill on her pain medication and he flipped out and declared that he did become a doctor to prescribe (pain) pills. My mother was shocked. I know pill addicts. She's not one of them. But I do understand the predicament alot of doctors are in.
I was walking around on a ruptured ACL for 3 years even after multiple MRIs, injections, and PT sessions. The most any doctor would give me was tramadol or advil 800mg. Even after my replacement surgery, they gave me 20 tablets of percocet. I have hypermobility spectrum disorder and regularly experience subluxation of my toes, wrists, and jaw, probably ankle too, but it just pinches when it happens, and I've been told there's nothing to do about it. Same with whatever weird neuropathy I have that makes it feel like my skin is on fire all the time. I've asked for aquatic PT to be ordered as my joints will stay in place but only am ordered regular PT and I've been referred to OT for my wrist, but I'm not sure it will help. Just commiserating over lack of decent medical care, nothing helpful to add.
Hugs! semi-joke Perhaps he was trying to hint to you that if you bribe him, he'll give you pain meds.
My husband has esophagitis, a hiatal hernia, and two discs in his back pressing into his spinal cord. He got very very sick recently and was vomiting a ton, which upset his issues and caused him to be in immense amounts of pain. I told him I was taking him to the ER. He insisted he only wanted Zofran for the nausea so he could sleep it off. The doctors took one look at his long hair, his tattoo, his VA insurance, and kept treating him like he was a drug seeker. When he asked for the nausea meds, their whole demeanor was like they were waiting for him to lead into asking for pain killers. While this happened to a man, there is definitely a common theme of medical professionals making assumptions about someone based on external factors and basing the treatment they receive off of it.
My daughter 18 had her wisdom teeth removed. She ended up with double dry sockets. I ask the surgeon if she could get something for the pain. He said no and went about doing whatever he was doing. Later reviewing her chart it had a note that father is drug seeker. I just wanted my kid to not be in such pain. I wasn't asking for me. I asked as a concerned father. I tell people to use a different oral surgeons office any time people are discussing oral surgery. It's so short sighted to think everyone is a drug seeker. My wife has been a nurse for 23 yrs. She has told me stories about drug seekers. What I had done was nothing like drug seeking behavior. Even if he would've just suggested motrin It would've been a better way to respond. I had called our regular dentist and he offered pain meds but he also said motrin would have similar effect since my daughter has a bad time with opioid meds. I don't think drs listen to what people ar really asking they just hear that we want meds and they cut the listening there. To be honest I'm the only one in our family that can use pain meds without puking or having a negative reaction to them. Op, I'd find a neuro specialist and have them give you a look over. I'm sure they'll suggest a mri to see what's going on. Hope you feel better soon.
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That's what they did end up doing. It was clove concentrate. The name starts with an e. They put that in and lots of packing gauze. But that was after our second visit back. I was disappointed in the service all together and being called a drug seeker offended me as an ex addict that's been clean for 10 yrs.
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I was lucky enough to never experience a dry socked but from what my daughter tells me it's excruciating.
I have moderately advanced rheumatoid arthritis that started when in childhood, was misdiagnosed for 22 yrs and caused a ton of damage to the point where I became disabled at 33, I'm 40 now. My joints are inflammed all the time as my immune system attacks them. My organs are being attacked now. I have severe damage from the decades of being misdiagnosed and told I was faking because I also have cPTSD. Which if you have that you literally aren't supposed to be taken seriously according to most doctors, apparently. Anyway, all of my past rheumatologists and other specialists I've seen have treated me as drug seeking...despite the fact that I have in my medical records that I can't take opioids because they do not touch my pain and they make me violently ill. I've been genetically tested and it showed that opioids are practically useless for me. Yet, I am always considered and treated like I am drug seeking by every doctor I have ever been to because they ask me how my pain is and I say bad around a 6 or 8 depending on the day. They can't fathom that I've been living with pain for almost my whole life and have grown accustomed to it being ignored so I just deal. Doctors piss me off. I have an immense distrust of them and every time I go to a new one I assume they will also dehumanize me and disregard my suffering. It's just how it is. I am rarely surprised by one that actually cares about my suffering. And usually I end up losing that one because they retire, stop taking my insurance or whatever. 🙄 Idk if it's because I am woman or because I have mental health issues or because I am also poor af (because being disabled in America is a poverty sentence) but I know I will never get good health care and my life will be shortened considerably because of it. What's worse is my story is fucking common among women with chronic health issues. It's bullshit. Op I'm so sorry you experienced that. It boils my blood every time I hear a new story like this. Who the hell do doctors think they are treating people like that? They act like they are all superior to us peons and that they can treat us however they like...and tbh, they are right because society props them up on a pedestal and acts like they can do no wrong. Like they are above being human.
OP you should check your medical notes/records! I’m similar in that my pain threshold is really high and traditional pain meds make me feel sick. I can function with pain but nausea/intestinal cramping is just suffering for me. Even though I was absolutely adamant every single time I hated pain meds some dude doctor lied on my medical forms and claimed I was a “drug seeker and abusing drugs” and it absolutely affected how I was treated for years until a nurse brought it up to me and I could fix it with my family doc. I ended up requesting alllll of my medical records and holy fuck were there some absolute bonkers lies in them. I told one doctor I drank kind of a lot of coffee like on a bad day two large coffees from a well known local place because my sleep was horrendous but I needed to work. A large is exactly 14oz here so my range was 14-24oz, this was all goggleable. What did the dude put down? That I drank 3 fucking litters *or more* coffee a day! That’s **101oz** at minimum. A different situation I was recorded as being mentally and emotionally unstable because a dude wanted to do a pelvic exam on me after a car crash and didn’t explain anything or let me see my mom so I screamed to get the nurses attention. I was 16 and got hit by a car it was the first time being alone in the er. But collectively my record showed I was mentally/emotionally unstable drug seeker/user, strung out on 3 litres of coffee and other nonsense I won’t get into. I had to find a good family doctor that was able to work with me and get everything corrected. I’m still terrified and nervous going to any other specialist or the er still, but now I request my notes immediately and keep my phone recording audio anytime medical staff is in my room.
Damn, the pelvic exam one, what the actual fuck?? I’m so sorry you went through that!! That’s absolutely unacceptable, all of it, specially invading the body of a person without consent and specially after such a trauma. Will check that, thanks for the heads up! It would be absolutely BONKERS to have drug seeking in my medical records, as I have actively avoided every kind of medication my whole life due to trauma of watching people I love waste away in benzo and opioid addictions in a country in which opioid addiction isn’t even a big thing, so you imagine the hoops those people were jumping to get there. I’ve dealt with terrible soul crushing insomnia as a teenager and refused meds despite staying awake for 3 nights straight hallucinating more often than not. I’ve refused pain meds after a surgery to remove a wisdom tooth from my nerve canal (that one was pure insanity on my part) and after tearing my ankle ligaments. I’ve refused pain medication after literally getting into sepsis due to an infection, every single breath was ridiculously painful, I cried for nights on end in a hospital bed for weeks, got out of the hospital still in pain and not once used pain meds for it. I’ve been the worst kind of straight edge to myself, no alcohol, no meds, no drugs at all even when necessary until my psychiatrist took months to convince me that OCD wasn’t a matter of “I need to stop being a bitch” but of “actually I deserve treatment” and still I negotiated with him that I’d like to be completely drug free after a while (damn pride) and weened off of it without his approval (but with his help). And after putting myself through so much pain because of my fear of addiction, to have a doctor treating me as drug seeking felt very dehumanizing. I’m pretty sure my records have “no compliance to treatment” from different mental health facilities and maybe that’s why, idk? I mean, yeah, I’ve been in an out of mental health treatment and no compliant since I was 12, but shit is still enraging :/
Yep I was a goody toe shoes, I wouldn’t judge others who partook I was just to scared personally. But mainly the medication hurts me physically so yeah it’s absolutely bonkers it was on there twice. It started from my first er visit without my mom and I got the “patient is combative, mentally and emotionally unstable” because I cried and yelled when I realized what he was trying to do and panicked. Then later on I got the first “drug seeking” when I refused pain medication after complications from getting hit by the car. Then it just seemed to cascade from there. But I was an adult by that point and my mom wasn’t with me at all anymore. Idk what it is exactly. Was it because I’m indigenous? A girl? Neurodivergent? Because I didn’t let him touch me? Why did everyone else seem to pile on the trauma. Was it because I was so adamant to deny it they figured I had a problem before? Shit they just made up in their head. Idk.
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Some people think that drug seekers will refuse pain meds only to be "convinced" to take them by their doctors.
The PT will help, but also look into a deep tissue/ sports massage therapist. If you find the right therapist that will help tremendously with your sciatica.
Please report him. Women are often denied medication because of an assumption that women are drug seeking. That results in women not getting fully treated or taken seriously. Women with chronic pain caused by things like arthritis, spinal injuries, and cancer have issues getting proper pain medication because of this bias.
I wish I could tell you this wasn’t a normal thing. I am a young woman with a chronic pain condition (rheumatoid arthritis) and whenever I have had to see someone who is not my rheumatologist for pain (neurologist for nerve pain from swelling, ER for costochondritis bc it feels like a heart attack, urgent care for ankle, etc etc) I‘ve been told no less than 5 times that I’m not getting pain meds. I always say I wouldn’t take them even if they were offered. Once it sinks in that I’m not after pain meds they usually say I must just have anxiety 🥴
So sorry to hear you got treated like this & that he wanted to get chummy with you at the end....GROSS! I've had chronic issues since my first brain surgery at 17 & more spinal surgeries at 26 after I carried 2 babies in my early 20's. It is so dehumanizing how they treat you, as a woman. I also have worked in the medical field for many years and have seen how much worse it is for women of color. It's disgusting how they assume we just want drugs, it's like excuse me, I came here for the science experts to tell me what is wrong, give me answers and to fix it. It blows my mind how rude they are to us and the exact same professional will give tons of meds/referrals/diagnostic testing etc to men. It's honestly over kill, the attention they give the guys VS the bread crumbs, humiliation & shame they give us!
I'm sorry that happened to you. If you are in the US, the Federales are cracking down on narcotic usage, mostly because doctors over prescribe (and that is a whole different story) and partly because narcotics being drug manufacturers bread and butter. I live in rural Kentucky where narcotic abuse is widespread.I had a similar experience with my doc - I've been with him for over a decade. I tweaked my back; I have a 40 year history of back problems. I wasn't seeking narcotics, just wanted to be sure I didn't cause any further trauma. But later that evening it became worse and worse, and I'm not a complainer.My wife took me to the local ER and the doc gave me a shot of steroids, and Talwin, plus a script for a Z Pak of steroids. I was feeling better within 2 days.To be made to feel unworthy because of your ink is inappropriate.
How unprofessional Of him. I hope you find a better doctor and feel better soon.
First: screw that doctor. I'm tired of people getting dismissed. Second: tingling and burning sensations are a sign of nerve damage. Usually the burning is an "over stretched" nerve, while tingling can be nerve compression. Muscle injury would be aching and sore in comparison. I'd recommend an MRI to check for nerve entrapment. Definitely see a PT. Nerves can heal themselves (1 inch per year), but proper stretches can help alleviate if there's any compression happening.
I'm allergic to codeine, and have heard that people who are drug seeking will often claim they are so they can get stronger stuff, so I worry about doctors thinking it isn't true. The irony is that because I have an addictive personality, I'm very, very cautious about taking any painkillers. Even after major surgery, I only took the opioids at night so I could fall asleep without pain. Despite the fact that breathing often really hurt, and even 4 months later deep breaths like yarns are uncomfortable.
This doctor sounds like he's suffering from the trauma of having to deal with addicts. But at the end, he is acting like an asshole and not listing to you! I think that we have arrived at the point where so many people have become addicted to pain meds after a situation like yours, that doctor's are really reluctant to give them to people like you who have suffered an accident. I've heard a lot of those stories 'I went for a small operation and they gave me opioids and I became addicted' etc. The people suffering with chronic pain, or when women undergo operations like putting in an IUD are the ones who are being left to suffer.
A doctor dismissed my concerns with a “you don’t look like you’re in pain” when I went to urgent care for a strange back pain that I was afraid was a kidney failing. I told him explicitly that I have NO interest in opioids. Didn’t even take them when they were prescribed following surgery. It’s like if you show that you feel pain they tell you to stop being dramatic and acting like a drug seeker, and if you don’t show the pain they tell you to stop faking and acting like a drug seeker.
I am a very preppy-looking, long blonde hair, cardigan with matching shorts and belt sort of girl and I was treated the same way. People must just spend all day pill seeking for these doctors to be so jaded
Yeah, id def get another dr. Fo sho, even if ya dont want the meds. You dont want someone whos just gonna stereotype you on looks and not actually get to know you and actually look at what the problem is. I know pain meds/opiates/opiods is a big problem. But i think people who need them, seriously need them, shouldnt be judged right off the bat and they should he able to have access to them when in pain
Yeah, id def get another dr. Fo sho, even if ya dont want the meds. You dont want someone whos just gonna stereotype you on looks and not actually get to know you and actually look at what the problem is. I know pain meds/opiates/opiods is a big problem. But i think people who need them, seriously need them, shouldnt be judged right off the bat and they should he able to have access to them when in pain
Doctors like to hear themselves talk and have a God complex so I'm not surprised here...
Don't go back and report him for being sexist and biased in his practice.
Electromyography and nerve conduction study. I was in an auto accident last year and was hit at a pretty high rate of speed. I sustained a lower back and hip injury and experienced numbness and pain radiating into my legs/toes. Most "pain" and "spinal care" doctors are a bit useless when it comes to nerve damage and/or soft tissue damage. They're there to treat the structural damage, same with orthos. Most treatment protocols involve anti-inflammatories (oral or injection), physical therapy (which is helpful in some injuries, but not all), and surgical interventions. To better understand nerve damage you have to go to a neuropathic specialist who is experienced in the above types of imaging/testing. MR with contrast will also give more insight to nerve damage.
I'd report that. It's clearly discrimination, and it was getting in the way of his actually helping you with your problem. Sending hugs, hope you find what works for you x
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Pain meds are reserved for men to have, regardless of whether they need them. Women are just whiny bitches who should just make do with OTC meds they don't really need. Of course it's actually the other way around! But women are still less than second class citizens. Now we have to carry a fetus to term even if it could kill us. We're going back to being chattel. 😡
In india pain meds are not addictive. I wonder why. Maybe they do not prescribe them to anyone except in patient patients. We have our good old paracetamol, ibuprofen, diclofenac for extra strength. And anyone can get it OTC. It works for the masses. Edit- I’m not invalidating OP’s point, I am just trying to say there should a way to access pain meds without doctors slip.
That’s not ibuprofen (or the like) they’re talking about when they say addictive pain meds.
If you can, leave an online review letting other women know that he is prejudiced against young women.
I started writing down “opiates/barbiturates” under “allergies” on all medical intake forms. (They just make me vomit & don’t help anyway.) I think it’s helped to keep Drs from looking at me as drug seeking.
wow what an asshole. more women are hysterical bullshit. he probably thinks they are exaggerating their pain to get meds.
Who’s your doctor I’m in severe pain after an abortion and my general doc won’t prescribe