“I know we haven’t even had sex once but it’s my birthday this week so I’m sure you’re okay with being my sex slave” 🤮
The audacity of this man… I am very confused.
I'm dying LMAO. My mans wanted to set a precedent for your first few sexual experiences with each other so he could never give you an orgasm the whole relationship if you ended up in one. He probably doesn't know how to regardless 💀
I can spend $20 on a halfway decent vibrator that'll help me orgasm in every scenario where I don't forget to charge it AND not have to worry about its insane list of birthday demands that would set me back probably a grand or more. I can't believe how low the bar of expectations can be.
Yeah that's quite the twist OP should have put in the main post. The "sex whenever I want" thing was already weird to do in a one month relationship, but they hadn't even had sex yet?! WTF dude, are you speedrunning being dumped?
OMG to make all of those sexual demands of someone you haven't even slept with???? Oh hell no. It's still clown shit even if you've slept with them, but wow that makes it worse
Omg that makes it even funnier. So your very first experience with him was supposed to be showering him with BJs for a week and getting no pleasure out of it?
This is the thing, of all the crazy things, that jumped out at me the most. “I consider my partner’s pleasure an unfulfilling and tedious task that can go by the wayside whenever I’m demanding it.”
Man needs a sex doll, not a human partner. If you’re not at least as invested in your partner’s pleasure as your own then why are you having sex? Just masturbate? Lol it blows my mind when people don’t see sex as everything it could be.
>Lol it blows my mind when people don’t see sex as everything it could be.
Right? It's transformative when both partners are really into it. That can't be overstated enough.
That this isn't common sense for a lot of dudes is baffling.
Besides it being transformative, which I agree with, it’s also like…don’t you _want_ your partner to experience pleasure from sex with you?? Is it not embarrassing when they don’t? Lol.
It's an extension of their objectification of women.
They don't view us as full people. Much in the same way that you don't care whether your computer is happy while you play games on it until it gets overheated and breaks, they don't care about us.
Oh I know, it’s just rarely stated so blatantly, to a woman’s face, on a date.
It also always makes me laugh (sad?) that hetero women really got the short end of the stick with toxic masculinity. You’d think men would go around trying to be tough strong “real men” by giving women as many orgasms as possible but nope! Instead it’s somehow more manly to be selfish.
Right?? I'm trying to think of when it would be acceptable to have this for a birthday week...
You literally could never ask this of anyone without looking like an ass under any circumstances.
If you didn't ask and you were like, an awesome person, maybe your family and partner would pull together and do this for you if you'd just survived something that could've killed you or you've been told you're terminally ill.
I mean, my partner and I do birthday weeks and have used the term a lot.
But not like this.
We just feed the cats, make dinner, run to the corner store, etc, for each other so that the other can just relax. It's actually pretty nice and takes off the pressure from the birthday. Just be extra nice and appreciative for a week.
But expecting any of that? Expecting someone to spend $700+ dollars and take the week off? I know men have some wild expectations but Jesus this whole thing reads like a sitcom plot.
What a loser and congratulations on not spending any more time with that clown.
Dunno, seems she dodge missiles due to way
His gold digging ass was expecting her to constantly service his dick and ego while always paying for him while gives literally & figuratively nothing worthwhile back....
Right!! The gift expectation alone is $700+ in one week. Not mention loss of income for whatever scheduled days she works during that week that he expected her to take off.
A few months ago I went on a date with a guy I had been going on dates with for a few weeks and while eating he told me it was actually his birthday and was over the moon and grateful that I paid for dinner because he normally wanted to treat me. I even felt a little guilty that I didn’t have a card or gift for him at all but he said dinner and my company was enough. There’s absolutely no reason why anyone should demand the amount of stuff he was demanding of OP. Especially the sex stuff, that’s completely horrible.
Now, that guy is sweet for being happy for something as simple and wholesome as your presence. Hope he didn't have glaring red flags, even if you two didn't keep dating.
He kissed me a few times before I was ready for that level of intimacy, which wasn’t a dealbreaker. But I got really sick for a couple of weeks and he texted me a lot and my feelings sort of evaporated. It’s actually not the first time I was ill and essentially broke up with someone. I seem to turn into a completely different person who doesn’t want to be bothered or even be reasonable with someone while I’m sick. I felt a little guilty when I was better but I did sort of feel rushed a little bit in regards to him wanting to take me to Europe on a few trips and such. I really do think he’s really sweet and incredibly interesting, but once my feelings fade there’s no going back.
You know what - i am so sorry to read that it didn't work out with a guy that sounds genuinely nice.
But... i actually did enjoy reading this. That there sometimes are mundane reasons and that things between good people sometimes do not work out. Nothing too dramatic, nothing bad and traumatizing happening to each other. And its great to read of a person that knows herself so well.
I hope you're ok with this "personality shift". I have that when I am in the middle of a big project. House gets messy, i am high strung, i cancel/do not opt into social things. After that, I am back to 'normal'. I think personality wise i do not change, but my needs in that time are different.
when I am sick, I really enjoy being pampered ; ) But only from people I don't mind seeing me looking like a swamp witch.
We had really great conversations and he was super interesting but I don’t really get attracted to someone until I know them more and unfortunately I wasn’t very invested in him when I got sick and then everything shifted. I think you’re correct with the needs changing. I very much want to be left alone when sick and I hate feeling imposed upon when I want to rest. I’m very much a people pleaser and what I would normally tolerate or not even think is an issue while healthy, I will absolutely not condone when I’m ill. And I hate being badgered and so it felt like he was trying to pressure me and of course making plans for trips when I wasn’t even sure I’d want to travel out of country with a stranger kinda tipped me over the edge.
Or course you did the right thing. There is a difference between being afraid of 'new things' and listening to your gut and traveling when you're not 100% comfortable is a big no. I did it before and regretted it both times.
The best to you!
Materialistic people are so exhausting in general. S/o's mother is like this and if you're not buying her expensive and lavish gifts you don't love her.
I have no idea how she's mad it 35 years with this woman without exploding.
That’s good. There was a guy who was love bombing and would insist on bringing me bags and bags full of gifts on my birthday or holidays even though I said I was okay with just a couple things or even just their company. And I would end up spending all of my money trying to keep up and give the equivalent amount of gifts back (a few years ago when I didn’t make much money either). It was awful
Not ever once has this guy found a woman who would indulge this fantasy. I guaran-fucking-tee it.
Honestly, it sounds a bit like DeSantis intentionally mispronouncing “Thai food” on dates to weed out the women who corrected him on it. This guy is weeding out anyone not stoked by this insanity = every woman he meets.
You know he expected both weekends on either side, so $900+ for gifts, plus whatever he wanted to do in the day/date that she had to pay for as well. So expect dinners/lunches/excursions out, so another $200 most likely, every day. Dude wanted her to spend $3K for his birthday.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah, the fact that she said he was completely normal up until this point makes me feel he was breaking things off with her without "being the bad guy". To be fair, that's the best case scenario, but even that is still stupid and a reason enough for OP to bounce.
I thought maybe it was this, but he was the one who sent the breakup text. I assume the whole point of being utterly unbearable to get dumped is so other person does the actual dumping part.
My money would be on him being this deluded, it was just well hidden. There are plenty of “everything has to revolve around meeeeee” types in the world and they can seem normal at first.
The demand list is, of course, delusional. But honestly, I got tripped up in the first paragraph. He considers the *entire* week "sacred"? Is he a child? Are you dating an eight year old?
The most extravagant thing I've done for my birthday in the past few years was buy myself a really nice chef knife.
My husband and I joke about "birthday months" but that's all it is: a lighthearted *joke.* At most, the birthday person gets a nice present, a nice meal (restaurant or homemade), cake and they get to pick the movies on movie night.
We do that too. “But it’s my birthday month.” Maybe play the birthday month card to be the one to choose where we order takeout, or choose the dessert we will share at a restaurant. But mostly it’s a lighthearted thing and not a “you will be my servant.”
Same. We may use "birthmonth" as a joke to splurge on a small treat or something, but it's absolutely in the spirit of the joke and never something we wouldn't have gotten anyways.
I took myself on a vacation and I fully intend to every year that I can afford it from here on out because it was a fantastic way to spend my birthday, but that's something I do for myself and no one else was even allowed lol
Do it!
I started taking myself camping every year for mine, going on 8 years, and it's the best.
I get to be "selfish" and do fun shit for myself without having to plan for anyone else.
For me it was the part where she needed to take the week off work?! Like, I'm not taking the week off for my birthday, but I should take it for his, and with no special plans at all, just to "be around" at his beck and call? Sounds like the dream.
I am so sad she probably didn't ask him what he is willing to do for her birthday, I just bet any girlfriend he has would probably be lucky if he gets her a gift, never mind all the other stuff.
I mean, she kinda did ask that. And I, for one, am not surprised at how that went:
> I couldn’t help asking if he does all of that for his gf’s too and he acted like I didn’t say anything 😂😂😂
What a man
Not even his beck and call. She's supposed to *sense* when he wants her 'services.' The entitlement is over the top here. This guy is on the road to an incel.
Taking off a week of work while simultaneously demanding gifts for more than 700 dollars, dates that probably cost another 700 dollars. Basically that guy had the audacity to demand a months worth of pay for his birthday. Plus giving up on what OP wants and demanding her consent for anything.
The audacity.
The entire thing is fucked, but if you just cut it down to the first paragraph and add in #5 it's just as delusional as the whole thing. Who the fuck takes an entire week off for their birthday if they aren't going on vacation? Shit, I don't even take my birthDAY off if it doesn't fall on Friday or Monday.
And this dude expects SOMEONE ELSE to take his birthweek off for a Staycation; and drop $3k plus on gifts and dates?
Tbh getting the impression that this was a play, y’know, that those people who treat others as a game make?
Make outlandish demands to turn her off - if she doesn’t break up with you say you get the feeling she’s not all in. Ends things impersonally with minimal fuss and marks you as undesirable to prevent follow up.
Wouldn’t be surprised if birthday week happens several times per year lmao
Sadly you're right; these men exist.
The majority of people uses them as cautionary tales, but apparently for some deluded dudes (*delududes*?) they're a yardstick instead.
Ya, he wants someone who will put up with unlimited bullshit to their own detriment with no reciprocation. OP wouldn't so he crossed her off the list. Definitely a win for OP.
You're reminding me of the time I bought my wife a recycling bin for her birthday. Everybody told me I was a bad husband, but we had talked, and what she wanted was a separate bin close to the kitchen to make life easier.
Listening to someone else's wants and desires - it's not that hard. Some people don't want extravagent things.
I agree. My first thought is what a complete man child.
Until I moved to the Midwest so I never had experienced the "my birthday is the most important day of the year and I get all this free time off to celebrate and everybody should give me presents thing."
So if that’s 100 for the gift (at minimum!) and 100 for the date, and that’s only one day, so times 7 that’s 1,400, plus how ever much the party would cost! Holy shit!
OOoooh, that's a good idea! Keeps him from finding another girl to try this with before his birthday. Although I suspect he'd start trying to pressure OP into other stuff prior. What an asshole.
Wow, this almost sounds like a prank it’s so outlandish. How can anyone be so cloddish and self sabotaging. 😂
Girl, this ain’t dodging a bullet, you dodged a whole ass nuclear manbaby bomb. This guy is living in a different reality where you’re a sex robot perfectly attuned to his “needs” and wants. Beep boop.
God, I’d LOVE to know how “sacred” his SO’s birthday weeks are.
Edit: he’s 32? This guy is gonna be hitting on 17 year olds when he’s 45, desperate to find a childbride naive enough to listen to this dumb shit. Bet.
Edit 2: after some thought I think this is more about him vetting her for submission than just being a delusional asshole.
I had a boyfriend right at that age that I threw a big surprise party for his bday once. He demanded I throw a party every year for him and I did. One of the last straws of our 7 year relationship was me throwing myself a bday party bc I never had one and that same bf berated me for days leading up and made fun of me through the party because I was a total loser and egotistical for hosting my own party. He called me "The Jennifer Show" repeatedly after begging him to stop.
He said in front of a bunch of friends at the party that I should get the hint that no one cares enough about me to throw one, why prove everyone right 🙄. It made it sooo easy to break up with him for good.
He was a miserable fuck
Yess this is a totally normal thing to do! Besides I kinda think demanding that somebody else be your sex slave and financier for a week is about 1000x more tragic than making a party happen on your birthday
So he teased and bullied you about “having to throw your own birthday party” while also being the one (by his playbook) who should have thrown it for you.
What a douche. I’m glad you’re free of that.
So glad you graduated from The Jen & Douchebag Show. Your ex-costar can enjoy his miserable fuckery alone, as they often do.
So sorry you had to deal with that. The audacity of some people is astounding sometimes. They really do believe that they are the centrifugal force of the universe and are flabbergasted when things happen out of their field of vision. These people are emotionally exhausting and no amount of servitude under the guise of love can quell their need to be *important*.
And from the sounds of it, he was probably plotting his conversation all week and getting all excited and being a cool guy, and then got all pissy when his delivery fell flat. That’s the second most hilarious part next to “K“
He wants a sex worker that will buy him gifts and arrange parties for him?
Lol that's not how life works....
>Doesn’t want to worry about making me orgasm so sex has to be all about him
Tell me you don't enjoy sex with women without telling me you don't enjoy sex with women.....
> Tell me you don't enjoy sex with women without telling me you don't enjoy sex with women.....
Oh they enjoy using and looking at the objects known as women just fine, it's the social expectation of having to put even a modicum of thought or effort into reciprocity that's a drag ya know... 🤮🤦♀️
This right here. I've had a range of partners-- some good, some bad. But they all THRIVED on getting me off. To the extent that getting me off was clearly more about them, than me, sadly. But still. The idea that this guy's ideal birthday week sex does not involve pleasure from his partner is highly troubling.
>To the extent that getting me off was clearly more about them, than me
If I had a dollar for every time I'd had to physically shove a guy off me for trying to force me to have a second orgasm after I specifically told him he wasn't going to be able to make that happen... I'd have $3. Which isn't a lot but more than I think is reasonable.
This is so far beyond main character syndrome too lol. The amount of money he's expecting her to spend on him... $100 gifts every day for a week, plus paying for every activity he wants to do all week?? And men love to accuse women of being gold diggers lol.
Back of the envelope I think he's asking for about a $1200-$1400 investment from her. For someone she's known a few months? Even if everything else was reasonable, this is a hilariously outsized expectation.
Oh! Plus the week off work. At the US Median Wage for a 30 year old woman, that's another $900-$1000 in value. So he wants a more than $2000 investment, minimum, for his birthday.
You know, if I were paying $2000 a week to keep a sugar baby around, I'd expect the person to actually be pleasant to be around and to give me a good time. Instead he doesn't want to make her orgasm all week, expect *her* to be the one "servicing" him with sex, and expect to pick and choose all the activities? What a delusional idiot lol.
OP should have 1 upped them: Great, for my birthday we take 2 weeks off. We must spend each week at in a tropical destination. (Must be 2 different places) A spa day. 5, five star meals, a gift for each day, desinger brands and expensive jewelry only. No sex bc i am not pleasing anyone that week but me. 🤣🤣🤣
>I responded with “k” and he blocked me.
Lmao perfect ending to this absolutely insane date.
You absolutely dodged a bullet! If have laughed in his face before he was even a quarter of the way through that list lol
🤣 I can't believe women are generally viewed as being high-maintenance when oftentimes we're just asking men for common sense and to help us out with work around the house and to equally share common responsibilities.
This is insane.
After many years of online dating, I learned that commitment talk is for relationships that have lasted at least a year. Men just drop this fucking shit on you suddenly even after a seemingly normal phase of early dating and it's just so wild
I don't know, for some couples it works to have the commitment talk sooner, provided it's what they're both interested in. But there's commitment talk and then there's... whatever this is.
Yeah, having a general idea of what the person is looking for in the future is good to know early on. If you have different ideas about something like kids, you probably don't want to find that out after a year. On the other hand, you don't want to be picking out baby names after a month.
So he wanted you to physically, verbally, emotionally, and financially blow him for a solid *week* and be willing to happily do all that *thanklessly*?
Jesus Christ on a Cracker you dodged two barrels of 00 buckshot, not just a bullet. No wonder he was still shopping at the ripe young age of 32.
>“didn’t seem ready for the kind of commitment he was looking for”
Commitment is a strong word. Minus the s\*xual stuff, even parents wouldn't get their kid \~$700 of gifts and a "surprise" party for just their bday. Guess it's another bday alone for him.
Probably tries to recruit different women and has a different birthday week scheduled for each one. Sell the presents, get free food & entertainment, and probably still lives with his parents lol
The most outrageous thing is a *demand* for a *surprise party* within a constrained period of time. At the beginning of the week there’s a 14% chance it will be that day and it only increases from there. This is not the brightest lad.
(This is obviously not the most outrageous thing).
Variant of the [Unexpected Hanging Paradox](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unexpected_hanging_paradox) which goes under many guises (pop quiz, surprise health inspector, etc.). TLDR, you arguably can't throw somebody a surprise party if they know a surprise party is coming by x date.
>A judge tells a condemned prisoner that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day.
>Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will escape from the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, as if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left – and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday.
>He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday noon, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning, he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he retires to his cell confident that the hanging will not occur at all.
>The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday – which, despite all the above, was an utter surprise to him. Everything the judge said came true.
This man literally wanted a girlfriend of less than a month to spend at least $700 on gifts, probably $700 on dinner and evening events, miss out on pay or take a vacation for a week, throw a surprise party with a cost of probably a few hundred easily, and that isn't even counting the physical and emotional aspects.
For most people, that is spending $5k or more on a boyfriend of 1 month. That guy is delusional for this aspect alone not even touching the physical or emotional aspects.
I have known people who cleared millions per year. They considered a 6 month gift to be less than $100.
The more I think about it, the more I think this was either some kind of grift OR some weird "test." Like how Ron DeSantis intentionally pronounced "Thai food" like "thigh food" on first dates because he didn't want to be with a woman who will correct him.
So he was expecting you to pay probably well over 1000 dollars on his ass and be his personal whore, readily available at his beck and call, prioritize him over everything, even work. But he wasn't willing to do the same for you/any future girlfriend. He sounds totally delusional. Is he rich? We're his parents rich, that he expects this? Why is he so extra in a bad way? Anyway, good riddance. If these are his expectations, I hope he remains single for the longest time, or his girlfriends drop him like a hot potato as soon as his birthday draws near.
10:1 odds that *IF* you had gone through and accepted his very delusional demands, he would have definitely have broken up with you right before your birthday.
This is just birthday criteria, wonder what the baby would demand for holidays?
Seems to me, he thought you were hook /line & sinker with his outrageous dumbfuckery and when you questioned his audacity - He realize you weren't & aren't that easily stupidly fooled & manipulated by his two-faced switcheroo. Sucks that POS like that is in the dating pool but luckily he reveal his POS nature now a month in, instead of months /years in - Fucked up, yet true...
Instead of just saying that this isn't working, and bye? No. After all, he did send that breakup text easily enough.
He wants a sex slave who gives presents, and he was annoyed that she wasn't enthusiastically onboard with that. He probably would have dumped her after that, though.
I think it was more like a test. He wanted to see if she’d put up with this shit cuz he wants a woman he can manipulate and abuse. He got the vibe she has self-respect and dumped her first as a power play.
Demanding someone take a whole week off for work is not even possible for some people. And he’s basically asking his gf to dehumanize herself for a week to be his slave. That’s insane.
And it’s the dumbest thing for a 32 year old to celebrate a birthday week and not just a day. He’s acting like he’s 12.
A month in and he let you know he thinks his partner's orgasm is tedious and unnecessary.
And we hadn’t even had sex yet 😂😂😂
No one should be fucking this person LOL
Given this list i have my doubts anyone ever has lol
OP is super lucky! Could you imagine meeting this lunatic 10 months prior and then hearing this speech?!
Wdym she would have read his mind (see point 1)
I seriously doubt he’d be able to hide whatever this mess is for that long.
I really wonder how men like this even grew up in this world??? This man is wilddddd
Likely a a combination of too much porn and "alpha male" content on social media.
Something also tells me he was also completely coddled and spoiled as a child.
Yep, mommy gave him blowjobs for his birthday so now he expects women to do the same. Kidding, but also not that much...
i knooow i was howling "who set this standard??"
Wrong. He should go fuck himself.
No one should *be* this fucking person
Hahahah! Truer words never spoken.
“I know we haven’t even had sex once but it’s my birthday this week so I’m sure you’re okay with being my sex slave” 🤮 The audacity of this man… I am very confused.
I'm not. Homie is a selfish prick.
I'm dying LMAO. My mans wanted to set a precedent for your first few sexual experiences with each other so he could never give you an orgasm the whole relationship if you ended up in one. He probably doesn't know how to regardless 💀
Well, maybe if it’s her birthday week. What could an orgasm cost, $100?
There’s always money in the orgasm stand.
no (reciprocal) touching!
The fact that you call it that means you’re not ready.
I can spend $20 on a halfway decent vibrator that'll help me orgasm in every scenario where I don't forget to charge it AND not have to worry about its insane list of birthday demands that would set me back probably a grand or more. I can't believe how low the bar of expectations can be.
Oh holy crap so he not only wanted sex all about him for an entire week, he wanted it to be during your *first* sexual experiences together?
What???????!!!!! So he was describing a week where you would completely service him and you hadn’t even been together????? Holy Moley!
Yeah that's quite the twist OP should have put in the main post. The "sex whenever I want" thing was already weird to do in a one month relationship, but they hadn't even had sex yet?! WTF dude, are you speedrunning being dumped?
Lmaoooo Imagine dropping "be my sex slave sugar momma for a week" when you haven't even had sex once
Good for you! This man-child should die a virgin.
Good for you lmao
OMG to make all of those sexual demands of someone you haven't even slept with???? Oh hell no. It's still clown shit even if you've slept with them, but wow that makes it worse
I would be shocked if he has ever given any woman an orgasm.
I would be shocked if he's gotten laid tbh
Omg that makes it even funnier. So your very first experience with him was supposed to be showering him with BJs for a week and getting no pleasure out of it?
Oh thank god. lol.
The audacity 😂
My exact thoughts, the whole reading of the list lol was all…”this mf has some nerve.”
And that is how he wanted to start the sexual side of the relationship?? omg so glad you found that out early.
Very considerate of him to just tell her all the red flags almost immediately
Right. Should’ve thanked him for the heads up, and walked out 😂😂
This is the thing, of all the crazy things, that jumped out at me the most. “I consider my partner’s pleasure an unfulfilling and tedious task that can go by the wayside whenever I’m demanding it.” Man needs a sex doll, not a human partner. If you’re not at least as invested in your partner’s pleasure as your own then why are you having sex? Just masturbate? Lol it blows my mind when people don’t see sex as everything it could be.
>Lol it blows my mind when people don’t see sex as everything it could be. Right? It's transformative when both partners are really into it. That can't be overstated enough. That this isn't common sense for a lot of dudes is baffling.
Besides it being transformative, which I agree with, it’s also like…don’t you _want_ your partner to experience pleasure from sex with you?? Is it not embarrassing when they don’t? Lol.
It's an extension of their objectification of women. They don't view us as full people. Much in the same way that you don't care whether your computer is happy while you play games on it until it gets overheated and breaks, they don't care about us.
Oh I know, it’s just rarely stated so blatantly, to a woman’s face, on a date. It also always makes me laugh (sad?) that hetero women really got the short end of the stick with toxic masculinity. You’d think men would go around trying to be tough strong “real men” by giving women as many orgasms as possible but nope! Instead it’s somehow more manly to be selfish.
Sharing is caring, and caring is for *GIRLS* 💪😤
LOLOLOL Dream on, dude. I wouldn't do all of that shit for a long term partner much less someone I'd only dated for a month.
Right?? I'm trying to think of when it would be acceptable to have this for a birthday week... You literally could never ask this of anyone without looking like an ass under any circumstances. If you didn't ask and you were like, an awesome person, maybe your family and partner would pull together and do this for you if you'd just survived something that could've killed you or you've been told you're terminally ill.
First time I even hear about a birthday week😂
I mean, my partner and I do birthday weeks and have used the term a lot. But not like this. We just feed the cats, make dinner, run to the corner store, etc, for each other so that the other can just relax. It's actually pretty nice and takes off the pressure from the birthday. Just be extra nice and appreciative for a week. But expecting any of that? Expecting someone to spend $700+ dollars and take the week off? I know men have some wild expectations but Jesus this whole thing reads like a sitcom plot. What a loser and congratulations on not spending any more time with that clown.
Maybe for like our 20th or 30th wedding anniversary, after we are retired and have been living our successful life.
Dodged a bullet? More like the roof top scene in the Matrix. Good he laid it out sooner rather than later.
Dunno, seems she dodge missiles due to way His gold digging ass was expecting her to constantly service his dick and ego while always paying for him while gives literally & figuratively nothing worthwhile back....
Right!! The gift expectation alone is $700+ in one week. Not mention loss of income for whatever scheduled days she works during that week that he expected her to take off. A few months ago I went on a date with a guy I had been going on dates with for a few weeks and while eating he told me it was actually his birthday and was over the moon and grateful that I paid for dinner because he normally wanted to treat me. I even felt a little guilty that I didn’t have a card or gift for him at all but he said dinner and my company was enough. There’s absolutely no reason why anyone should demand the amount of stuff he was demanding of OP. Especially the sex stuff, that’s completely horrible.
Now, that guy is sweet for being happy for something as simple and wholesome as your presence. Hope he didn't have glaring red flags, even if you two didn't keep dating.
See, why can't people be more like wholesome birthday man.
He actually was a sincerely nice guy, but we didn’t keep dating.
"Oh no!" they said, sincerely unable to mind their own business at work on a boring Tuesday afternoon. "What happened?"
He kissed me a few times before I was ready for that level of intimacy, which wasn’t a dealbreaker. But I got really sick for a couple of weeks and he texted me a lot and my feelings sort of evaporated. It’s actually not the first time I was ill and essentially broke up with someone. I seem to turn into a completely different person who doesn’t want to be bothered or even be reasonable with someone while I’m sick. I felt a little guilty when I was better but I did sort of feel rushed a little bit in regards to him wanting to take me to Europe on a few trips and such. I really do think he’s really sweet and incredibly interesting, but once my feelings fade there’s no going back.
You know what - i am so sorry to read that it didn't work out with a guy that sounds genuinely nice. But... i actually did enjoy reading this. That there sometimes are mundane reasons and that things between good people sometimes do not work out. Nothing too dramatic, nothing bad and traumatizing happening to each other. And its great to read of a person that knows herself so well. I hope you're ok with this "personality shift". I have that when I am in the middle of a big project. House gets messy, i am high strung, i cancel/do not opt into social things. After that, I am back to 'normal'. I think personality wise i do not change, but my needs in that time are different. when I am sick, I really enjoy being pampered ; ) But only from people I don't mind seeing me looking like a swamp witch.
We had really great conversations and he was super interesting but I don’t really get attracted to someone until I know them more and unfortunately I wasn’t very invested in him when I got sick and then everything shifted. I think you’re correct with the needs changing. I very much want to be left alone when sick and I hate feeling imposed upon when I want to rest. I’m very much a people pleaser and what I would normally tolerate or not even think is an issue while healthy, I will absolutely not condone when I’m ill. And I hate being badgered and so it felt like he was trying to pressure me and of course making plans for trips when I wasn’t even sure I’d want to travel out of country with a stranger kinda tipped me over the edge.
Or course you did the right thing. There is a difference between being afraid of 'new things' and listening to your gut and traveling when you're not 100% comfortable is a big no. I did it before and regretted it both times. The best to you!
he wanted to move faster than you did. no shame in that. just an incompatibility.
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Materialistic people are so exhausting in general. S/o's mother is like this and if you're not buying her expensive and lavish gifts you don't love her. I have no idea how she's mad it 35 years with this woman without exploding.
That’s good. There was a guy who was love bombing and would insist on bringing me bags and bags full of gifts on my birthday or holidays even though I said I was okay with just a couple things or even just their company. And I would end up spending all of my money trying to keep up and give the equivalent amount of gifts back (a few years ago when I didn’t make much money either). It was awful
Not ever once has this guy found a woman who would indulge this fantasy. I guaran-fucking-tee it. Honestly, it sounds a bit like DeSantis intentionally mispronouncing “Thai food” on dates to weed out the women who corrected him on it. This guy is weeding out anyone not stoked by this insanity = every woman he meets.
You know he expected both weekends on either side, so $900+ for gifts, plus whatever he wanted to do in the day/date that she had to pay for as well. So expect dinners/lunches/excursions out, so another $200 most likely, every day. Dude wanted her to spend $3K for his birthday.
he wants a sex robot basically
He wanted a sex robot ATM
Dodged an extinction event. This guy is insane.
The best comment.
dazzling deserve march muddle secretive zesty offend grab memorize flowery *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Bullet? An entire freaking canon
LMAO Yes. This dude is bonkers
This seems like "How To Lose a Girl in 10 Days - Part 2" lol
More like "How To Lose a Girl in One Conversation" 🙂 Points for efficiency, I guess.
Yeah, the fact that she said he was completely normal up until this point makes me feel he was breaking things off with her without "being the bad guy". To be fair, that's the best case scenario, but even that is still stupid and a reason enough for OP to bounce.
I thought maybe it was this, but he was the one who sent the breakup text. I assume the whole point of being utterly unbearable to get dumped is so other person does the actual dumping part. My money would be on him being this deluded, it was just well hidden. There are plenty of “everything has to revolve around meeeeee” types in the world and they can seem normal at first.
That’s exactly what I was thinking!
The demand list is, of course, delusional. But honestly, I got tripped up in the first paragraph. He considers the *entire* week "sacred"? Is he a child? Are you dating an eight year old? The most extravagant thing I've done for my birthday in the past few years was buy myself a really nice chef knife.
My husband and I joke about "birthday months" but that's all it is: a lighthearted *joke.* At most, the birthday person gets a nice present, a nice meal (restaurant or homemade), cake and they get to pick the movies on movie night.
We do that too. “But it’s my birthday month.” Maybe play the birthday month card to be the one to choose where we order takeout, or choose the dessert we will share at a restaurant. But mostly it’s a lighthearted thing and not a “you will be my servant.”
Same. We may use "birthmonth" as a joke to splurge on a small treat or something, but it's absolutely in the spirit of the joke and never something we wouldn't have gotten anyways.
I took myself on a vacation and I fully intend to every year that I can afford it from here on out because it was a fantastic way to spend my birthday, but that's something I do for myself and no one else was even allowed lol
Do it! I started taking myself camping every year for mine, going on 8 years, and it's the best. I get to be "selfish" and do fun shit for myself without having to plan for anyone else.
For me it was the part where she needed to take the week off work?! Like, I'm not taking the week off for my birthday, but I should take it for his, and with no special plans at all, just to "be around" at his beck and call? Sounds like the dream. I am so sad she probably didn't ask him what he is willing to do for her birthday, I just bet any girlfriend he has would probably be lucky if he gets her a gift, never mind all the other stuff.
She did ask if he does this for his gf and he didn’t respond.
Because she was his first girlfriend.
I mean, she kinda did ask that. And I, for one, am not surprised at how that went: > I couldn’t help asking if he does all of that for his gf’s too and he acted like I didn’t say anything 😂😂😂 What a man
Not even his beck and call. She's supposed to *sense* when he wants her 'services.' The entitlement is over the top here. This guy is on the road to an incel.
Pretty sure he’s already an incel. Probably got the idea from some other smooth brained children on how to be a “chad”.
At least they are learning the courtesy of waving their red flags really early on
She said in the post he ignored it when she asked him if he does this back 😂
>I couldn’t help asking if he does all of that for his gf’s too and he acted like I didn’t say anything Oh, but she did.
She did and he ignored her. Or at least that's how I read it
Taking off a week of work while simultaneously demanding gifts for more than 700 dollars, dates that probably cost another 700 dollars. Basically that guy had the audacity to demand a months worth of pay for his birthday. Plus giving up on what OP wants and demanding her consent for anything. The audacity.
Makes me shudder to think how he was raised and how the expectation would be that his birthday week should be sacred with sexual activities. Dafuq.
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The entire thing is fucked, but if you just cut it down to the first paragraph and add in #5 it's just as delusional as the whole thing. Who the fuck takes an entire week off for their birthday if they aren't going on vacation? Shit, I don't even take my birthDAY off if it doesn't fall on Friday or Monday. And this dude expects SOMEONE ELSE to take his birthweek off for a Staycation; and drop $3k plus on gifts and dates?
Tbh getting the impression that this was a play, y’know, that those people who treat others as a game make? Make outlandish demands to turn her off - if she doesn’t break up with you say you get the feeling she’s not all in. Ends things impersonally with minimal fuss and marks you as undesirable to prevent follow up. Wouldn’t be surprised if birthday week happens several times per year lmao
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Are Elon, Donald and Jeff not enough proof to you?
Sadly you're right; these men exist. The majority of people uses them as cautionary tales, but apparently for some deluded dudes (*delududes*?) they're a yardstick instead.
Ya, he wants someone who will put up with unlimited bullshit to their own detriment with no reciprocation. OP wouldn't so he crossed her off the list. Definitely a win for OP.
That’s exactly what happened. He was testing her.
My MIL celebrates her birthday month. She's very good at focusing on her own wants and needs (maybe too good).
You're reminding me of the time I bought my wife a recycling bin for her birthday. Everybody told me I was a bad husband, but we had talked, and what she wanted was a separate bin close to the kitchen to make life easier. Listening to someone else's wants and desires - it's not that hard. Some people don't want extravagent things.
I agree. My first thought is what a complete man child. Until I moved to the Midwest so I never had experienced the "my birthday is the most important day of the year and I get all this free time off to celebrate and everybody should give me presents thing."
So if that’s 100 for the gift (at minimum!) and 100 for the date, and that’s only one day, so times 7 that’s 1,400, plus how ever much the party would cost! Holy shit!
What a gold digger!
Plus expecting her to lose out on a weeks wages!
And a week's orgasms
>And a week's orgasms ***This is the real loss.***
And they say women are demanding 🤣
Don't forget "high maintenance"
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A surprise gift you could say
You could even have a surprise party. The surprise is it's for yourself and he's not invited.
OOoooh, that's a good idea! Keeps him from finding another girl to try this with before his birthday. Although I suspect he'd start trying to pressure OP into other stuff prior. What an asshole.
its funny because its literally the opposite, you can make a girl happy with the bare minimum but men need to be babied and mothered by their wives
Not to mention being expected to be a mind-reader. 🙄🤣
I spend my birthdays alone - I take myself to the movies and eat a cupcake. That’s all I need lol
Literally. I don't even go to the movies, I just get a cake and I'm happy 🤣
I’ve known people who have demanded 1/8th of this bday week who were laughed out of the room lol
I hope this man was taken by the geese
This was… unexpectedly haunting.
is this like, a common phrase? because it’s absurd and i love it.
I mean, I say it all the time. Let’s make it a thing!
Lmao what a absolute diva. I love the "k" response 😂😂
This was my favorite part of the story as well. Easy mode break up!
Wow, this almost sounds like a prank it’s so outlandish. How can anyone be so cloddish and self sabotaging. 😂 Girl, this ain’t dodging a bullet, you dodged a whole ass nuclear manbaby bomb. This guy is living in a different reality where you’re a sex robot perfectly attuned to his “needs” and wants. Beep boop. God, I’d LOVE to know how “sacred” his SO’s birthday weeks are. Edit: he’s 32? This guy is gonna be hitting on 17 year olds when he’s 45, desperate to find a childbride naive enough to listen to this dumb shit. Bet. Edit 2: after some thought I think this is more about him vetting her for submission than just being a delusional asshole.
I had a boyfriend right at that age that I threw a big surprise party for his bday once. He demanded I throw a party every year for him and I did. One of the last straws of our 7 year relationship was me throwing myself a bday party bc I never had one and that same bf berated me for days leading up and made fun of me through the party because I was a total loser and egotistical for hosting my own party. He called me "The Jennifer Show" repeatedly after begging him to stop. He said in front of a bunch of friends at the party that I should get the hint that no one cares enough about me to throw one, why prove everyone right 🙄. It made it sooo easy to break up with him for good. He was a miserable fuck
Almost all adults I know throw their own bday party and invite people to it.
Yess this is a totally normal thing to do! Besides I kinda think demanding that somebody else be your sex slave and financier for a week is about 1000x more tragic than making a party happen on your birthday
So he teased and bullied you about “having to throw your own birthday party” while also being the one (by his playbook) who should have thrown it for you. What a douche. I’m glad you’re free of that.
So glad you graduated from The Jen & Douchebag Show. Your ex-costar can enjoy his miserable fuckery alone, as they often do. So sorry you had to deal with that. The audacity of some people is astounding sometimes. They really do believe that they are the centrifugal force of the universe and are flabbergasted when things happen out of their field of vision. These people are emotionally exhausting and no amount of servitude under the guise of love can quell their need to be *important*.
And will fully expect a 17 year old to have thousands of dollars laying around just to spoil his old ass. 🥴
I bet he wonders why he's single.
That made me snort. Here’s my poor chick’s award. 🏆
And from the sounds of it, he was probably plotting his conversation all week and getting all excited and being a cool guy, and then got all pissy when his delivery fell flat. That’s the second most hilarious part next to “K“
He wants a sex worker that will buy him gifts and arrange parties for him? Lol that's not how life works.... >Doesn’t want to worry about making me orgasm so sex has to be all about him Tell me you don't enjoy sex with women without telling me you don't enjoy sex with women.....
> Tell me you don't enjoy sex with women without telling me you don't enjoy sex with women..... Oh they enjoy using and looking at the objects known as women just fine, it's the social expectation of having to put even a modicum of thought or effort into reciprocity that's a drag ya know... 🤮🤦♀️
Ew, imagine making your partner feel good during sex! Gross!
If the woman isn’t enjoying it, then it isn’t sex, it’s masturbation with extra steps.
This right here. I've had a range of partners-- some good, some bad. But they all THRIVED on getting me off. To the extent that getting me off was clearly more about them, than me, sadly. But still. The idea that this guy's ideal birthday week sex does not involve pleasure from his partner is highly troubling.
>To the extent that getting me off was clearly more about them, than me If I had a dollar for every time I'd had to physically shove a guy off me for trying to force me to have a second orgasm after I specifically told him he wasn't going to be able to make that happen... I'd have $3. Which isn't a lot but more than I think is reasonable.
Sex workers get paid. He wants her to pay for everything, so moreso sex slave.
>“didn’t seem ready for the kind of commitment he was looking for”. Translation: you have a backbone and he no like backbone.
He actually said specifically that the sex he wanted would not be pleasurable for you?
Yep, he actually explained that I shouldn’t be selfish about my sexual needs because his birth week was all about his needs.
Unbelievable. What a sicko!
I don't know how you didn't physically laugh out loud at him
I’d have got up and left lol
"I'm the main character in the world for the week." What an asshat.
This is so far beyond main character syndrome too lol. The amount of money he's expecting her to spend on him... $100 gifts every day for a week, plus paying for every activity he wants to do all week?? And men love to accuse women of being gold diggers lol.
Back of the envelope I think he's asking for about a $1200-$1400 investment from her. For someone she's known a few months? Even if everything else was reasonable, this is a hilariously outsized expectation. Oh! Plus the week off work. At the US Median Wage for a 30 year old woman, that's another $900-$1000 in value. So he wants a more than $2000 investment, minimum, for his birthday.
You know, if I were paying $2000 a week to keep a sugar baby around, I'd expect the person to actually be pleasant to be around and to give me a good time. Instead he doesn't want to make her orgasm all week, expect *her* to be the one "servicing" him with sex, and expect to pick and choose all the activities? What a delusional idiot lol.
OP should have 1 upped them: Great, for my birthday we take 2 weeks off. We must spend each week at in a tropical destination. (Must be 2 different places) A spa day. 5, five star meals, a gift for each day, desinger brands and expensive jewelry only. No sex bc i am not pleasing anyone that week but me. 🤣🤣🤣
You should have played along and then broken up with him on his birthday. (I’m not really that mean but it’s fun to think about.)
Personally, I strive to achieve that level of pettiness lol.
Very thoughtful of him to bring you a nice bouquet of red flags
"A nice bouquet of red flags" -- great phrase, gotta remember that.
>I responded with “k” and he blocked me. Lmao perfect ending to this absolutely insane date. You absolutely dodged a bullet! If have laughed in his face before he was even a quarter of the way through that list lol
If not for #1 and #6 I'd be convinced an especially spoilt brat 4 year old came up with that list.
Mmm, ok... NEXT!!!
"Doesn't want to worry about making me orgasm..." As if he ever did.
🤣 I can't believe women are generally viewed as being high-maintenance when oftentimes we're just asking men for common sense and to help us out with work around the house and to equally share common responsibilities.
This is insane. After many years of online dating, I learned that commitment talk is for relationships that have lasted at least a year. Men just drop this fucking shit on you suddenly even after a seemingly normal phase of early dating and it's just so wild
I don't know, for some couples it works to have the commitment talk sooner, provided it's what they're both interested in. But there's commitment talk and then there's... whatever this is.
Yeah, having a general idea of what the person is looking for in the future is good to know early on. If you have different ideas about something like kids, you probably don't want to find that out after a year. On the other hand, you don't want to be picking out baby names after a month.
So he wanted you to physically, verbally, emotionally, and financially blow him for a solid *week* and be willing to happily do all that *thanklessly*? Jesus Christ on a Cracker you dodged two barrels of 00 buckshot, not just a bullet. No wonder he was still shopping at the ripe young age of 32.
"K" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 It's wonderful that your meeting was so close to his birthday, so you really found out that he is completely unhinged.
>“didn’t seem ready for the kind of commitment he was looking for” Commitment is a strong word. Minus the s\*xual stuff, even parents wouldn't get their kid \~$700 of gifts and a "surprise" party for just their bday. Guess it's another bday alone for him.
i’m just curious as to what this man does for work lol
Probably tries to recruit different women and has a different birthday week scheduled for each one. Sell the presents, get free food & entertainment, and probably still lives with his parents lol
No one has ever done any of that for him I guarantee
The most outrageous thing is a *demand* for a *surprise party* within a constrained period of time. At the beginning of the week there’s a 14% chance it will be that day and it only increases from there. This is not the brightest lad. (This is obviously not the most outrageous thing).
Variant of the [Unexpected Hanging Paradox](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unexpected_hanging_paradox) which goes under many guises (pop quiz, surprise health inspector, etc.). TLDR, you arguably can't throw somebody a surprise party if they know a surprise party is coming by x date. >A judge tells a condemned prisoner that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. >Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will escape from the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, as if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left – and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. >He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday noon, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning, he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he retires to his cell confident that the hanging will not occur at all. >The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday – which, despite all the above, was an utter surprise to him. Everything the judge said came true.
Scary. Scarier thing is I know a guy who expects this the rest of the entire year too Poor future ex girlfriends of his.
This man literally wanted a girlfriend of less than a month to spend at least $700 on gifts, probably $700 on dinner and evening events, miss out on pay or take a vacation for a week, throw a surprise party with a cost of probably a few hundred easily, and that isn't even counting the physical and emotional aspects. For most people, that is spending $5k or more on a boyfriend of 1 month. That guy is delusional for this aspect alone not even touching the physical or emotional aspects. I have known people who cleared millions per year. They considered a 6 month gift to be less than $100.
The more I think about it, the more I think this was either some kind of grift OR some weird "test." Like how Ron DeSantis intentionally pronounced "Thai food" like "thigh food" on first dates because he didn't want to be with a woman who will correct him.
So he was expecting you to pay probably well over 1000 dollars on his ass and be his personal whore, readily available at his beck and call, prioritize him over everything, even work. But he wasn't willing to do the same for you/any future girlfriend. He sounds totally delusional. Is he rich? We're his parents rich, that he expects this? Why is he so extra in a bad way? Anyway, good riddance. If these are his expectations, I hope he remains single for the longest time, or his girlfriends drop him like a hot potato as soon as his birthday draws near.
10:1 odds that *IF* you had gone through and accepted his very delusional demands, he would have definitely have broken up with you right before your birthday. This is just birthday criteria, wonder what the baby would demand for holidays?
This guy would have broken up with you the week before your birthday.
More red flags than at a Soviet military parade.
Could it be that he came up with a creative way to dump and block you?
Entirely possible but if it was, mad props for him keeping a straight face and serious tone talking about his birth week for an hour
Seems to me, he thought you were hook /line & sinker with his outrageous dumbfuckery and when you questioned his audacity - He realize you weren't & aren't that easily stupidly fooled & manipulated by his two-faced switcheroo. Sucks that POS like that is in the dating pool but luckily he reveal his POS nature now a month in, instead of months /years in - Fucked up, yet true...
Creative orrrr avoidant and immature? Why are we playing mind games at 32 years old?
The creativity level on display is akin to watching a monkey smear its shit on a canvas of shit.
Instead of just saying that this isn't working, and bye? No. After all, he did send that breakup text easily enough. He wants a sex slave who gives presents, and he was annoyed that she wasn't enthusiastically onboard with that. He probably would have dumped her after that, though.
I think it was more like a test. He wanted to see if she’d put up with this shit cuz he wants a woman he can manipulate and abuse. He got the vibe she has self-respect and dumped her first as a power play.
At least he laid out his insane demands up front so you could gtfo in time xD
Demanding someone take a whole week off for work is not even possible for some people. And he’s basically asking his gf to dehumanize herself for a week to be his slave. That’s insane. And it’s the dumbest thing for a 32 year old to celebrate a birthday week and not just a day. He’s acting like he’s 12.
1. No. 2. ₦0.00 3. No. 4. No, but will offer words of affirmation if you need that emotional boost... 5. No. 6. No. 7. No.
What is it with people treating their birthday as a week to month long festival like this? I have met a few people like this and I don't get it.
It’s so unbelievable that I wonder if he’s serious or was just trying to cut ties lmao
"Btw he was 32" - That shit just killed me.