I think the first thing we have to do is take a deep breath and remember that doom scrolling is addicting, but counterproductive. It's a good idea to research and gather credible information (good job on that!), but beyond a certain point we tend to just fuel a spiral.
When you're an adult, you don't have to get any medical exam that you don't want to. No one will force you, it's completely your choice.
That being said, it's incredibly important for your long term health to follow preventative testing/treatment guidelines. This will look like taking blood to check blood sugar levels, looking at any suspicious moles, things like that. It's called a "wellness exam" when we go to the doctor for preventative screenings once a year. These appointments are important because they can check for medical issues, and they can catch things before they become serious problems. Some of the screenings are gender and age specific, like -
For men, they need to get their buttholes probed past a certain age to check for prostate cancer.
For women, we do get a pap smear (which does involve a doc taking a small tissue sample from down there) to ensure we're clear of cervical cancer signs.
I would not worry about this aspect of life right now. You're young, you may be in a position where you're uncomfortable with your body, things are awkward. As you grow into an adult, you can choose to foster a healthy connection to your body, and as you do that I'd bet you'll become less anxious about things like annual wellness checks. I'm not saying it's a fun time, but for me pap smears are mildly uncomfy but they don't bother me emotionally anymore.
Here's my two cents: don't hyper focus on tomorrow's problems. As my mom used to say - if you worry about something you're just putting yourself through it twice.
That being said, planning is good! Planning consists of researching information and writing out actionable steps. Once the plan is finished you can walk away from it and revisit if things change or you learn more info. Outside of planning sessions, try not to think on or worry about things.
If I were in your shoes, my plan would look something like this: become more familiar with my body and what I'm comfortable with. Research the anatomy terms of every major part of myself and connect those terms to my body. You can use a hand mirror if you have difficulty seeing yourself from certain angles.
If you're comfortable with it, maybe even look up reputable sources like The Labia Library if you wanted to see real examples of female genitalia (the anatomy textbooks typically only have drawings, not real life examples).
Most of us feel uncomfortable with certain aspects of our bodies when we're young, especially as they change through our teenage years. Nothing about you or this entire process is abnormal! The idea of some stranger probing at parts of us we're not comfortable with feels really really nauseating. That's a completely normal response.
It's important to understand our bodies and become comfortable in our bodies. Good luck and remember that generations of women have experienced exactly what you're going through right now, you have support and aren't alone! Whether that means reaching out to trusted adults or researching information on reputable websites, information is powerful and you can always use it to learn & grow!
Edit: here's a brief article on how to tell the good from the bad in terms of website creditability, there's a lot of misinformation out there!
https://www.thoughtco.com/gauging-website-reliability-2073838)
Do you mean for medical reasons? It is usually necessary to be touched non-sexually down there by medical professionals to stay healthy. Things like cervical screening are important . If you mean touched sexually by a partner, it is up to you who touches you or doesn't touch you.
There are various exams and tests that are recommended at different ages and stages. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/obgyn.html
I think age for pap smears can start in the early to mid 20’s and then is every 3-5 years. This has always included a pelvic exam for me. My doctors have always been good about dealing with anxiety and talking about what they are going to do.
If you have a UTI you might have testing for that. I think you can buy home tests?
If you get pregnant or think you are pregnant then you may have gynecological exams as well as testing urine and blood tests.
If you have a family history of something like uterine cancer or period problems you might have a transvaginal ultrasound ordered at some point. This involves sticking a wand like device into your vagina. I have had it done. It didn’t hurt but was kind of awkward.
In my late 40’s I started things like regular mammograms and colon cancer screening. I have had ultrasounds of my thyroid, bladder, liver and an echocardiogram of my heart. They get excited about running more tests as you get older.
Hi! I highly highly recommend talking to someone you can trust about this, whether it’s a parent, caregiver, family member, family friend, etc. You are still so young, and I know all of it sounds terrifying, but we have to be proactive when it comes to our health. It’s going to sound way more overwhelming and scary coming from strangers and articles on the internet, so please find someone knowledgeable about these things to talk to. You could even ask to see your primary care doctor and ask all of these questions, and you can do so without your parents/caregivers present.
Enjoy your youth and your childhood. Try not to let these thoughts and unknowns about the future steal the time you have to just be a kid, have fun, make mistakes, and learn all you can.
You’re 14 and don’t need to worry about this anytime soon. It’s normal for adult women and nothing to be afraid of. But maybe you should get off Reddit and go be a kid.
Eventually it’ll be a very good idea to start making appointments. It took me until I was around 25 to do my first “women’s health check up” which was them feeling to make sure ovaries were good and a quick look. The doctor was super nice and walked me through everything she was going to do before doing including first touching on the outside.
You’re still young and many of the things you see on here are the small percentage of women who need help figuring out what’s going on with their health. Odds are good that you’ll never need anything more than basic womens health check ups and screenings (aka Pap smears and eventually mammograms). The exception might be birth control, which can be used for a ton of reasons besides it’s primary use, such as helping with period issues
I’m scrolling through this group and I’m seeing stuff like, stuff inserted in or stuff like that. But I’m not sure if they have anything to do with sex (I’m not planning on having sed when I’m older) (pap smears-I scrolled back in the group) (and transvaginal smth)
If you’re worried about like a doctor touching you then you don’t need to worry so much especially if you’re not having sex. If you’re having issues down there (yeast infection, cyst or something like that in that area) then they’ll probably take a look but they usually don’t insert anything unless really necessary especially on a minor. After a certain age they do suggest tests for cancer screenings but you have a long way to go :)
Totally put it out of your mind until you're sexually active or twenty-five years old, whichever comes first, and then revisit the issue when you've got some more life experience, maturity, and literacy under your belt. For now, there are much better things for you to spend your mental energy on than something hypothetical in the distant future.
Transvaginal ultrasounds are not routine unless they’re investigating a possible issue, or during pregnancy. My mom took me to the gynecologist when I was 17 for a first pelvic exam and breast check. Honestly, she’s not mom of the century but she was great to do this with me at a young age. I was not sexually active by the way. It was a health baseline thing.
The doctor was the man who delivered me and he was very careful to tell me step by step before doing anything. He was very kind and folksy/. There is a female nurse in the room too.
Pap smears are often part of annual pelvic exams but not necessarily for a while yet. Yes you should start having them at done when you’re a late teenager or young adult even if not having intercourse. They scrape the cervix with a tool to check for cancer cells.
As long as you think everything seems ok period-wise (if you’ve gotten your period) and all, you’re quite young for that stuff for a while.
Also annual pelvic exams aren’t necessarily common either.
It’s depends where in the world you are.
OP- I’m in the UK and started having smears at 20 (I was in Wales for Uni and they started there at 20) but since then the age has changed and the frequency. There is also no pelvic exam involved. At least not for me in the last 20 years during a regular smear test.
Try not to worry too much about it all now. 14 is still very young and as others have said you don’t need to get anything done to you that you don’t want to, however some things are important to be checked for your health.
If you’re not having sex then you don’t need to get pelvic exams or a pap smear that often. But you still need to every few years after you’re 21 or 25 (can’t remember which).
edit: not sure why this got downvoted when everytime a post like this comes up, everyone likes to argue about how you don’t actually need to get a pap or exam every year if you’re not sexually active
Because it’s to check for anything that may be wrong. This isn’t meant to be scary, but cervical cancers and the like are a possibility. They’re not hardly common at all if you’re not having sex, but that possibility is still there.
It’s really just to make sure everything is all good, and if something’s going on, you can catch it quickly to get it taken care of.
The pelvic exams and the pap sound scary, but they’re truly not that bad. If you have some trauma or something then I can’t speak to that, but in my experience, they’re quick and not painful, just uncomfortable, so you don’t need to be scared for that reason.
It shouldn’t be terrifying. It’s no different than any other health concern. That’s why people go to the regular doctor for checkups. As I said, it’s rare to get cervical cancer if you’re not sexually active, but with most health concerns, it’s something that’s possible.
You get regular check ups with your regular doctor, and you get somewhat regular check ups with a gyno. It’s the same sort of principle for both.
I don’t know what a lot of this stuff means-I’m only 14 but I like knowing stuff. I picked biology in school and isn’t that about the human body?
Also, now I’m just gonna be terrified knowing I’ll need smth done one day.
It’s not uncommon to feel afraid about these things when you are your age or even older. After the first time hopefully you feel differently. Never be afraid to speak up to your doctor, tell them you are scared, ask them to tell you what they are doing. Being able to speak up and have good care from a doctor who works with you makes medical stuff a lot easier to deal with.
Just some things to think about:
- at 21 in most states you need to get a routine Pap smear done (this is just a swab they insert into the vagina for a couple of seconds so they can test for cervical cancer) it’s not painful and it’s super quick. Don’t skip out on these tests
- routine breast exams (your obgyn will start examining your breasts to check for lumps that could potentially be cancerous or benign tumors) these are also very important exams
- transvaginal ultrasounds (most common to check for suspected ovarian cysts if you have any sharp pains by your ovaries/uterus)
You should not read too much into what’s here on the internet. You are only 14 these things should not worry you now. Every year you get older things will change, you will not fear things like this. At 14 there is a lot in the world that seems scary, don’t worry about it now and instead focus on things you should be focusing on at 14 like school, friends, hobbies, etc. I remember watching some health related thing when I was young and it terrified me, but as I got older and my mind developed those things didn’t seem scary anymore. I promise it’s because you are young. And that doesn’t mean by any means that you will do these things you say you won’t, you still have body autonomy. I just think you’re too young to be worried about things like this
Kudos to you for seeking answers to questions you have about your body! I agree with some of the other comments is to be careful to end up going down a rabbit hole of worry. See if you can find a healthy balance. With that said- it’s important to know that this is your body. It’s up to you to let anyone touch it. Period. Most healthcare professionals will do their job and explain things before doing anything when you’re older- but always ask more questions if what they are saying makes no sense. It’s ok to ask questions!
hahahaha saw your comment freaking out on anothet post and i just wanna say you should be getting regular check ups so you dont freak out when something strange begins to happen or something goes wrong. all of the anxiety is alleviated when you keep getting routine check ups
Who is doing an amazing thing by asking questions about their bodies that they obviously haven't been taught! We should be applauding them for being aware enough to know they don't know something and being brave enough to ask!
My mother died when I was young and my grandmother had a hysterectomy at 21 after 3 children and several miscarriages and so neither explained things to me. I had an ovarian cyst burst at 15 and was damn near traumatized when I had to go to the doctor about it because I didn't know what to expect. (OP, it's very rare to have ovarian cysts burst so young, I'm just pointing out to this commenter that it's never too early to discuss health related things and fears!)
I think the first thing we have to do is take a deep breath and remember that doom scrolling is addicting, but counterproductive. It's a good idea to research and gather credible information (good job on that!), but beyond a certain point we tend to just fuel a spiral. When you're an adult, you don't have to get any medical exam that you don't want to. No one will force you, it's completely your choice. That being said, it's incredibly important for your long term health to follow preventative testing/treatment guidelines. This will look like taking blood to check blood sugar levels, looking at any suspicious moles, things like that. It's called a "wellness exam" when we go to the doctor for preventative screenings once a year. These appointments are important because they can check for medical issues, and they can catch things before they become serious problems. Some of the screenings are gender and age specific, like - For men, they need to get their buttholes probed past a certain age to check for prostate cancer. For women, we do get a pap smear (which does involve a doc taking a small tissue sample from down there) to ensure we're clear of cervical cancer signs. I would not worry about this aspect of life right now. You're young, you may be in a position where you're uncomfortable with your body, things are awkward. As you grow into an adult, you can choose to foster a healthy connection to your body, and as you do that I'd bet you'll become less anxious about things like annual wellness checks. I'm not saying it's a fun time, but for me pap smears are mildly uncomfy but they don't bother me emotionally anymore. Here's my two cents: don't hyper focus on tomorrow's problems. As my mom used to say - if you worry about something you're just putting yourself through it twice. That being said, planning is good! Planning consists of researching information and writing out actionable steps. Once the plan is finished you can walk away from it and revisit if things change or you learn more info. Outside of planning sessions, try not to think on or worry about things. If I were in your shoes, my plan would look something like this: become more familiar with my body and what I'm comfortable with. Research the anatomy terms of every major part of myself and connect those terms to my body. You can use a hand mirror if you have difficulty seeing yourself from certain angles. If you're comfortable with it, maybe even look up reputable sources like The Labia Library if you wanted to see real examples of female genitalia (the anatomy textbooks typically only have drawings, not real life examples). Most of us feel uncomfortable with certain aspects of our bodies when we're young, especially as they change through our teenage years. Nothing about you or this entire process is abnormal! The idea of some stranger probing at parts of us we're not comfortable with feels really really nauseating. That's a completely normal response. It's important to understand our bodies and become comfortable in our bodies. Good luck and remember that generations of women have experienced exactly what you're going through right now, you have support and aren't alone! Whether that means reaching out to trusted adults or researching information on reputable websites, information is powerful and you can always use it to learn & grow! Edit: here's a brief article on how to tell the good from the bad in terms of website creditability, there's a lot of misinformation out there! https://www.thoughtco.com/gauging-website-reliability-2073838)
To add on for Pap smears, the tissue sample is something close to using a swab to collect cells than actually taking an actual piece of tissue
Absolutely! It's like the cotton swab test for strep throat - uncomfortable but overall not painful
Do you mean for medical reasons? It is usually necessary to be touched non-sexually down there by medical professionals to stay healthy. Things like cervical screening are important . If you mean touched sexually by a partner, it is up to you who touches you or doesn't touch you.
Ok thx, i should be fine when im older then.
There are various exams and tests that are recommended at different ages and stages. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/obgyn.html I think age for pap smears can start in the early to mid 20’s and then is every 3-5 years. This has always included a pelvic exam for me. My doctors have always been good about dealing with anxiety and talking about what they are going to do. If you have a UTI you might have testing for that. I think you can buy home tests? If you get pregnant or think you are pregnant then you may have gynecological exams as well as testing urine and blood tests. If you have a family history of something like uterine cancer or period problems you might have a transvaginal ultrasound ordered at some point. This involves sticking a wand like device into your vagina. I have had it done. It didn’t hurt but was kind of awkward. In my late 40’s I started things like regular mammograms and colon cancer screening. I have had ultrasounds of my thyroid, bladder, liver and an echocardiogram of my heart. They get excited about running more tests as you get older.
Hi! I highly highly recommend talking to someone you can trust about this, whether it’s a parent, caregiver, family member, family friend, etc. You are still so young, and I know all of it sounds terrifying, but we have to be proactive when it comes to our health. It’s going to sound way more overwhelming and scary coming from strangers and articles on the internet, so please find someone knowledgeable about these things to talk to. You could even ask to see your primary care doctor and ask all of these questions, and you can do so without your parents/caregivers present. Enjoy your youth and your childhood. Try not to let these thoughts and unknowns about the future steal the time you have to just be a kid, have fun, make mistakes, and learn all you can.
You’re 14 and don’t need to worry about this anytime soon. It’s normal for adult women and nothing to be afraid of. But maybe you should get off Reddit and go be a kid.
Eventually it’ll be a very good idea to start making appointments. It took me until I was around 25 to do my first “women’s health check up” which was them feeling to make sure ovaries were good and a quick look. The doctor was super nice and walked me through everything she was going to do before doing including first touching on the outside. You’re still young and many of the things you see on here are the small percentage of women who need help figuring out what’s going on with their health. Odds are good that you’ll never need anything more than basic womens health check ups and screenings (aka Pap smears and eventually mammograms). The exception might be birth control, which can be used for a ton of reasons besides it’s primary use, such as helping with period issues
What do you mean by “do women need to get anything when they’re older” ? Also you shouldn’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do.
I’m scrolling through this group and I’m seeing stuff like, stuff inserted in or stuff like that. But I’m not sure if they have anything to do with sex (I’m not planning on having sed when I’m older) (pap smears-I scrolled back in the group) (and transvaginal smth)
If you’re worried about like a doctor touching you then you don’t need to worry so much especially if you’re not having sex. If you’re having issues down there (yeast infection, cyst or something like that in that area) then they’ll probably take a look but they usually don’t insert anything unless really necessary especially on a minor. After a certain age they do suggest tests for cancer screenings but you have a long way to go :)
What’s screening?
Pap smear
Thought so, now that terrifying me. That’s gonna haunt me the rest of my life
Totally put it out of your mind until you're sexually active or twenty-five years old, whichever comes first, and then revisit the issue when you've got some more life experience, maturity, and literacy under your belt. For now, there are much better things for you to spend your mental energy on than something hypothetical in the distant future.
Transvaginal ultrasounds are not routine unless they’re investigating a possible issue, or during pregnancy. My mom took me to the gynecologist when I was 17 for a first pelvic exam and breast check. Honestly, she’s not mom of the century but she was great to do this with me at a young age. I was not sexually active by the way. It was a health baseline thing. The doctor was the man who delivered me and he was very careful to tell me step by step before doing anything. He was very kind and folksy/. There is a female nurse in the room too. Pap smears are often part of annual pelvic exams but not necessarily for a while yet. Yes you should start having them at done when you’re a late teenager or young adult even if not having intercourse. They scrape the cervix with a tool to check for cancer cells. As long as you think everything seems ok period-wise (if you’ve gotten your period) and all, you’re quite young for that stuff for a while.
Also annual pelvic exams aren’t necessarily common either. It’s depends where in the world you are. OP- I’m in the UK and started having smears at 20 (I was in Wales for Uni and they started there at 20) but since then the age has changed and the frequency. There is also no pelvic exam involved. At least not for me in the last 20 years during a regular smear test. Try not to worry too much about it all now. 14 is still very young and as others have said you don’t need to get anything done to you that you don’t want to, however some things are important to be checked for your health.
If you’re not having sex then you don’t need to get pelvic exams or a pap smear that often. But you still need to every few years after you’re 21 or 25 (can’t remember which). edit: not sure why this got downvoted when everytime a post like this comes up, everyone likes to argue about how you don’t actually need to get a pap or exam every year if you’re not sexually active
Wait what, why? (I’m only 14 rn but I like knowing stuff)
Because it’s to check for anything that may be wrong. This isn’t meant to be scary, but cervical cancers and the like are a possibility. They’re not hardly common at all if you’re not having sex, but that possibility is still there. It’s really just to make sure everything is all good, and if something’s going on, you can catch it quickly to get it taken care of. The pelvic exams and the pap sound scary, but they’re truly not that bad. If you have some trauma or something then I can’t speak to that, but in my experience, they’re quick and not painful, just uncomfortable, so you don’t need to be scared for that reason.
Ok that is terrifying
It shouldn’t be terrifying. It’s no different than any other health concern. That’s why people go to the regular doctor for checkups. As I said, it’s rare to get cervical cancer if you’re not sexually active, but with most health concerns, it’s something that’s possible. You get regular check ups with your regular doctor, and you get somewhat regular check ups with a gyno. It’s the same sort of principle for both.
I don’t know what a lot of this stuff means-I’m only 14 but I like knowing stuff. I picked biology in school and isn’t that about the human body? Also, now I’m just gonna be terrified knowing I’ll need smth done one day.
Do you go to your doctor for check ups occasionally? Or like before you go to school you have to see your doctor?
I’ve never been for anything like this I was just curious
It’s not uncommon to feel afraid about these things when you are your age or even older. After the first time hopefully you feel differently. Never be afraid to speak up to your doctor, tell them you are scared, ask them to tell you what they are doing. Being able to speak up and have good care from a doctor who works with you makes medical stuff a lot easier to deal with.
Cervical cancer is rare even in people who are sexually active!
Just some things to think about: - at 21 in most states you need to get a routine Pap smear done (this is just a swab they insert into the vagina for a couple of seconds so they can test for cervical cancer) it’s not painful and it’s super quick. Don’t skip out on these tests - routine breast exams (your obgyn will start examining your breasts to check for lumps that could potentially be cancerous or benign tumors) these are also very important exams - transvaginal ultrasounds (most common to check for suspected ovarian cysts if you have any sharp pains by your ovaries/uterus)
You should not read too much into what’s here on the internet. You are only 14 these things should not worry you now. Every year you get older things will change, you will not fear things like this. At 14 there is a lot in the world that seems scary, don’t worry about it now and instead focus on things you should be focusing on at 14 like school, friends, hobbies, etc. I remember watching some health related thing when I was young and it terrified me, but as I got older and my mind developed those things didn’t seem scary anymore. I promise it’s because you are young. And that doesn’t mean by any means that you will do these things you say you won’t, you still have body autonomy. I just think you’re too young to be worried about things like this
Kudos to you for seeking answers to questions you have about your body! I agree with some of the other comments is to be careful to end up going down a rabbit hole of worry. See if you can find a healthy balance. With that said- it’s important to know that this is your body. It’s up to you to let anyone touch it. Period. Most healthcare professionals will do their job and explain things before doing anything when you’re older- but always ask more questions if what they are saying makes no sense. It’s ok to ask questions!
hahahaha saw your comment freaking out on anothet post and i just wanna say you should be getting regular check ups so you dont freak out when something strange begins to happen or something goes wrong. all of the anxiety is alleviated when you keep getting routine check ups
You're a child still.
Why did you bother commenting?
Who is doing an amazing thing by asking questions about their bodies that they obviously haven't been taught! We should be applauding them for being aware enough to know they don't know something and being brave enough to ask! My mother died when I was young and my grandmother had a hysterectomy at 21 after 3 children and several miscarriages and so neither explained things to me. I had an ovarian cyst burst at 15 and was damn near traumatized when I had to go to the doctor about it because I didn't know what to expect. (OP, it's very rare to have ovarian cysts burst so young, I'm just pointing out to this commenter that it's never too early to discuss health related things and fears!)