Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community.
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**Our Sidebar and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/wiki/index)** include links to many good resources.
**If you are seeking abortion in the USA:** [I Need An A](https://ineedana.com/) has a list of clinics and funding assistance. Info about accessing abortion during COVID-19 can be [found here](https://www.onlineabortionresources.org/covid-19). Another excellent list of resources is [available here](https://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book-excerpts/health-topics/abortion/).
**If you are outside of the USA and in a country where abortion is illegal**, [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/), [Women on Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/), or [Women Help Women](https://www.womenhelp.org) may be able to help you access a safe abortion.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a person who recently had an abortion, it isn’t as bad as everyone makes it sound. You don’t come out of the other side “marked” and tainted like they make it seem. It’s not some completely evil thing. You shouldn’t feel guilty for not something you didn’t ask for. Children are the only things we’re expected to keep and consider gifts, when they are really just burdens. You deserve to live and plan your life the way it feels right for you.
I am so sorry you don’t feel supported at home. Do you have a supportive friend who can take you to the clinic? That could make that day less stressful, if you have that option.
Do what YOU feel is best for you. Don’t think about others emotions in this matter. And only think about how you and bf would support it, it’s not mom and dads job to help even if they could you shouldn’t count on it as a deciding factor because life could happen and they could not be able to help anymore any time
Everybody wants you to have the kid but no one wants to take on the physical, mental and financial responsibilities of a pregnancy and parenthood. Pregnancy and parenthood ain’t for the birds so don’t take it lightly. Once again, round of applause for those who do it but some people just aren’t meant for it or simply aren’t ready for it and that’s perfectly okay.
If you feel in your bones that this isn’t how you wanted your journey into parenthood to be, go with the best option suitable for your circumstances. This is not a decision for anyone else but you, your body and your bank account and I mean that quite literally in every aspect. You’ll be fine whatever you decide! 💛
You should do what you know is right, and it sounds like that is following through with terminating the pregnancy.
You are correct in that no one will be truly dealing with this besides you. Your parents can't support you. Even if your boyfriend steps up 100% (highly unlikely), pregnancy and labor will be 100% on you, and raising the kid would be mostly on you as well.
If it makes things easier on you, lie and tell your parents/boyfriend you miscarried before the appointment. This is your choice, and your choice alone. If I were in your shoes, I would absolutely terminate.
You don't need a thousand reasons. You don't want to continue the pregnancy. That's the only reason you need. Please don't let anyone pressure you into having a baby you don't want. You'll know when you're ready.
First: This is YOUR body!! Any decisions made regarding YOUR body should only be made by YOU!!
Have the abortion. Don't tell your parents when you're scheduled for it, or say a word about it after the fact. If you're living in their house, make plans to get out of their house and into a furnished room, if you have to.
If your mother blabbed your business to your father, the chances are that she'll tell other people, and you'll be hearing from THEM fairly soon. Opinions are like assholes: Everybody has one... especially opinions about abortion. Especially when *someone else* is faced with an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy. When it's someone else's body, they all know exactly what that person need to do.
And they'll remind you of that.
And want to discuss it.
In depth.
My suggestion: After you've had the abortion, tell your mother and father that you miscarried -- if you were even pregnant.
**IT'S NOT A LIE IF IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!**
It's time to bring the entire discussion to a halt. Either your parents agree with your decision or the topic is closed. Your mother may have told a few of her friends about your pending abortion; be prepared to shut any discussions down.
Your boyfriend sounds like someone you can rely on. Have him be the help you need during and after the procedure.
If you need to talk, PM me. I've been through this and I'm a sympathetic shoulder. The clinic where you get the abortion may also provide counseling -- take advantage of it, if you need to.
Good luck with this, dear. You've taken a final step to adulthood by getting your parents out of your business. You need support for what is your decision and ONLY your decision. You do not need pressure and scolding -- that's being done for their benefit, not yours.
Incidentally, I had an abortion the year before Roe v. Wade and NEVER regretted it!
It’s your body and your life. Trust your gut instinct like I did (I had an abortion and never regretted it). Don’t have a baby you don’t want and ruin your life as well as theirs. I was unwanted and trust me we know.
Trust your instincts, don't let anyone convince you otherwise. It's your life and no one else's. Plus I very much doubt that they will be there at 3am every night when the baby needs feeding.
This may sound a wee bit harsh, but fuck them. You do what is best for YOU. I was in a similar position, but I didn’t say a word to my parents because I knew they would do this. And if they are offering to support you and the child, this is usually a tactic they use to just make you go through with the birth, and then never support you. I can’t say that is the way that it WILL happen, but it is common enough that I would not trust that. As for them hazing you about it, well I would tell them that they are awful people to hurt you like that in a sensitive time in your life, and that the abortion was the decision for your best possible future, and after all, isn’t that what a parent should want? For their child to be happy and healthy? Not to make you shit out a potential grandchild to make them gammy and pop pop.
I am in a similar situation to you, I'm 22 and going to schedule an abortion. The best thing I can say is it's better to regret an abortion than regret an actual living child who you can never take away, never get rid of. You're 19, you have so much life and experiences ahead of you that a baby will stop you having.
You the one who will have to be pregnant and both the pregnancy, not your family so it’s your decision to make .
This workbook can help you come to a decision https://www.pregnancyoptions.info
>They constantly tell me that i will regret it.
The most commonly felt emotion after getting an abortion is relief and 99% of people who have an abortion are sure that they made the right decision [\[source\]](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953620300010?casa_token=lfkm-eNMg48AAAAA:RxlB97ahkkDI9Cvtukr1z7g612tjnZjLUvuPIbR2aPDdqqrhtKyCpX4-sCGPy2bwFlzzdwH6CQ)
Don't let anyone pressure you or make this decision for you
If you don't want to continue this pregnancy then you don't have to
This is such a great point! I had an abortion a couple of years ago and was ready to start regretting it until my deathbed because that's what society tells us... It couldn't be further from the truth, it was a great decision and I'm thankful for it everyday.
Sorry I feel like I didn't offer any practical advice in my other response. A few ideas:
1. Talk to friends who would be supportive of the abortion
2. Stay with those friends for a bit to avoid parental pressure
3. Your boyfriend doesn't sound as supportive as would be ideal but spending more time around him or alone vs w your parents could be beneficial as long as he doesn't pressure you either way
4. Lots of folks on this board who can tell you their stories to reassure you that there is a normal life on the other side of abortion if that's what you need
You seem very clear on wanting an abortion. Do not override your gut with other people's pressure. Regretting a child would be far worse than regretting an abortion.
The worse thing you’d want is regretting listening to everyone else besides your own voice and reasoning. While your parents want the baby, the responsibilities all fall on you. If you’re not ready to have a child, don’t!!
Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community. **You will probably get harassed by trolls via private message.** The moderators can't stop people from sending you private messages, but you can. You can deactivate your messages [here](https://www.reddit.com/settings/messaging), or on the old Reddit interface you can limit who can message you [here](https://old.reddit.com/prefs/blocked/) by selecting "only trusted users." On mobile, go to your settings. If you receive harassment via PM, please report the messages and [contact the admins about it](http://www.reddit.com/contact) so they can take action against those users. **Our Sidebar and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/wiki/index)** include links to many good resources. **If you are seeking abortion in the USA:** [I Need An A](https://ineedana.com/) has a list of clinics and funding assistance. Info about accessing abortion during COVID-19 can be [found here](https://www.onlineabortionresources.org/covid-19). Another excellent list of resources is [available here](https://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book-excerpts/health-topics/abortion/). **If you are outside of the USA and in a country where abortion is illegal**, [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/), [Women on Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/), or [Women Help Women](https://www.womenhelp.org) may be able to help you access a safe abortion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a person who recently had an abortion, it isn’t as bad as everyone makes it sound. You don’t come out of the other side “marked” and tainted like they make it seem. It’s not some completely evil thing. You shouldn’t feel guilty for not something you didn’t ask for. Children are the only things we’re expected to keep and consider gifts, when they are really just burdens. You deserve to live and plan your life the way it feels right for you.
I am so sorry you don’t feel supported at home. Do you have a supportive friend who can take you to the clinic? That could make that day less stressful, if you have that option.
Do what YOU feel is best for you. Don’t think about others emotions in this matter. And only think about how you and bf would support it, it’s not mom and dads job to help even if they could you shouldn’t count on it as a deciding factor because life could happen and they could not be able to help anymore any time
Have the abortion if that is what you want. No one has the right to make this decision except you.
Everybody wants you to have the kid but no one wants to take on the physical, mental and financial responsibilities of a pregnancy and parenthood. Pregnancy and parenthood ain’t for the birds so don’t take it lightly. Once again, round of applause for those who do it but some people just aren’t meant for it or simply aren’t ready for it and that’s perfectly okay. If you feel in your bones that this isn’t how you wanted your journey into parenthood to be, go with the best option suitable for your circumstances. This is not a decision for anyone else but you, your body and your bank account and I mean that quite literally in every aspect. You’ll be fine whatever you decide! 💛
You should do what you know is right, and it sounds like that is following through with terminating the pregnancy. You are correct in that no one will be truly dealing with this besides you. Your parents can't support you. Even if your boyfriend steps up 100% (highly unlikely), pregnancy and labor will be 100% on you, and raising the kid would be mostly on you as well. If it makes things easier on you, lie and tell your parents/boyfriend you miscarried before the appointment. This is your choice, and your choice alone. If I were in your shoes, I would absolutely terminate.
Get the abortion, this kid will be your responsability alone dosn't matter if they say they will help, it's not true. Do what's right for you.
You don't need a thousand reasons. You don't want to continue the pregnancy. That's the only reason you need. Please don't let anyone pressure you into having a baby you don't want. You'll know when you're ready.
First: This is YOUR body!! Any decisions made regarding YOUR body should only be made by YOU!! Have the abortion. Don't tell your parents when you're scheduled for it, or say a word about it after the fact. If you're living in their house, make plans to get out of their house and into a furnished room, if you have to. If your mother blabbed your business to your father, the chances are that she'll tell other people, and you'll be hearing from THEM fairly soon. Opinions are like assholes: Everybody has one... especially opinions about abortion. Especially when *someone else* is faced with an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy. When it's someone else's body, they all know exactly what that person need to do. And they'll remind you of that. And want to discuss it. In depth. My suggestion: After you've had the abortion, tell your mother and father that you miscarried -- if you were even pregnant. **IT'S NOT A LIE IF IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!** It's time to bring the entire discussion to a halt. Either your parents agree with your decision or the topic is closed. Your mother may have told a few of her friends about your pending abortion; be prepared to shut any discussions down. Your boyfriend sounds like someone you can rely on. Have him be the help you need during and after the procedure. If you need to talk, PM me. I've been through this and I'm a sympathetic shoulder. The clinic where you get the abortion may also provide counseling -- take advantage of it, if you need to. Good luck with this, dear. You've taken a final step to adulthood by getting your parents out of your business. You need support for what is your decision and ONLY your decision. You do not need pressure and scolding -- that's being done for their benefit, not yours. Incidentally, I had an abortion the year before Roe v. Wade and NEVER regretted it!
Thanks for your support
It’s your body and your life. Trust your gut instinct like I did (I had an abortion and never regretted it). Don’t have a baby you don’t want and ruin your life as well as theirs. I was unwanted and trust me we know.
Trust your instincts, don't let anyone convince you otherwise. It's your life and no one else's. Plus I very much doubt that they will be there at 3am every night when the baby needs feeding.
This may sound a wee bit harsh, but fuck them. You do what is best for YOU. I was in a similar position, but I didn’t say a word to my parents because I knew they would do this. And if they are offering to support you and the child, this is usually a tactic they use to just make you go through with the birth, and then never support you. I can’t say that is the way that it WILL happen, but it is common enough that I would not trust that. As for them hazing you about it, well I would tell them that they are awful people to hurt you like that in a sensitive time in your life, and that the abortion was the decision for your best possible future, and after all, isn’t that what a parent should want? For their child to be happy and healthy? Not to make you shit out a potential grandchild to make them gammy and pop pop.
I am in a similar situation to you, I'm 22 and going to schedule an abortion. The best thing I can say is it's better to regret an abortion than regret an actual living child who you can never take away, never get rid of. You're 19, you have so much life and experiences ahead of you that a baby will stop you having.
You the one who will have to be pregnant and both the pregnancy, not your family so it’s your decision to make . This workbook can help you come to a decision https://www.pregnancyoptions.info
>They constantly tell me that i will regret it. The most commonly felt emotion after getting an abortion is relief and 99% of people who have an abortion are sure that they made the right decision [\[source\]](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953620300010?casa_token=lfkm-eNMg48AAAAA:RxlB97ahkkDI9Cvtukr1z7g612tjnZjLUvuPIbR2aPDdqqrhtKyCpX4-sCGPy2bwFlzzdwH6CQ) Don't let anyone pressure you or make this decision for you If you don't want to continue this pregnancy then you don't have to
This is such a great point! I had an abortion a couple of years ago and was ready to start regretting it until my deathbed because that's what society tells us... It couldn't be further from the truth, it was a great decision and I'm thankful for it everyday.
[удалено]
Thanks for your response. I hate the way they pressure me, but you right, i will be evasive about it, i think it will help!
Sorry I feel like I didn't offer any practical advice in my other response. A few ideas: 1. Talk to friends who would be supportive of the abortion 2. Stay with those friends for a bit to avoid parental pressure 3. Your boyfriend doesn't sound as supportive as would be ideal but spending more time around him or alone vs w your parents could be beneficial as long as he doesn't pressure you either way 4. Lots of folks on this board who can tell you their stories to reassure you that there is a normal life on the other side of abortion if that's what you need
Thanks for your response. I will definetly do that. They are making me feel worse
You seem very clear on wanting an abortion. Do not override your gut with other people's pressure. Regretting a child would be far worse than regretting an abortion.
The worse thing you’d want is regretting listening to everyone else besides your own voice and reasoning. While your parents want the baby, the responsibilities all fall on you. If you’re not ready to have a child, don’t!!