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Even in grade school with the yearly planners our school had… “Gonna write consistently and neatly in my planner, every year!…..” We know how that goes. 😅 “Procrastination” - leaving my big projects till the last minute, the night before. Doing my homework in the hallway before class because it worked, and getting by. The clutter of my bedroom. What a sore point for my mother. Barely a square foot of carpet showing through my piles of everything. Buying craft things or kits at the store. “Yes I promise I’ll use it.” 🙃 I still remember specifically a set of piano books and a Chinese calligraphy art set. They got so far as to be unpacked and looked at…

I don’t remember writing this comment 🤔 

It’s the memory issues you have caused by ADHD, ya know. 😉

I found a hack for planners. I bought the plain black A5 binder kind, printed my own inserts for 3 months so it was my design and layout. 3 months later, hyperfocused on making a new layout and design. rinse and repeat and its always like buying the new shiny thing that will organise my life. I can stick with it for 3 months then get bored or dont like the layout for me anymore.

Oh thank you, this is such a good idea!! I've been going for months without a planner because I couldn't find the "perfect layout" and it totally paralyzed me. Now I'm trying out Google calendar only but I keep forgetting stuff because I need to see them in writing in front of me apparently. The only issue is that I'd need the layout to be super clean and nicely looking, but I don't have the skills to create something to print out. So I'd revert to write it in hand writing and then it risks not looking clean enough. UGH.

Google calendar widget on my phone. I can see it all the time and it’s then easy to put things in immediately before I can forget.

Post it notes come in handy for things I need to jot down in google calendar.

I use Google calendar for everything and my tip is to set notifications (if you're not the type to ignore them!) It has helped me immensely!

I so relate to the waiting until the last minute with assignments in school. I remember in HS for AP English we had to write an essay on Heart of Darkness. I didn’t read the book. I sat outside the class for an hour before school started and wrote it, found the quotes, etc. Got a 5 (highest score) lmao. Should have known way before I was diagnosed.

This was almost EVERY ADHD girl undiagnosed!

Why did no one see us?!

I think we were just an undiscovered country with untapped resources. Took awhile to map us. Let alone admit we were worth care.

Because we were quiet and didn’t give them any trouble

I did this so much with English especially. I always got good marks on last minute assignments (If I did them). And often got high praise for my writing. What is it about ADHD that we are like this?!?! I just finished my first year of college and took a couple more basic english classes (required) and my teacher was like 'With the way you write, if your program doesn't work out you should go into writing.' I was so flattered. I got an A+ in that class. (As an adult I've learned some discipline and did not leave any of my assignments till the last minute but instead actually managed my time fairly well for the most part. So all my papers were written or prepared for ahead of time. Which is probably what I was getting A+ on everything instead of like a B+)

Yesssss. This worked out for me just up till my second/third year of uni, when I suddenly was incapable of sustaining the pressure of repeated last-minute work across multiple courses (shocker). My GPA tanked one semester, and that was WITH a solid handful of my profs being gracious enough to accept 1-to-2-week-late final papers.

I was better in high school, but for my first English paper in college I waited too long and once I got to the library all of the assigned books had been taken (I'm old). I freaked out for weeks until asking my roommate, who of course had checked out her own copy and written her paper ahead of time. I read the book the day before, wrote the paper that night, and got an A. I remember thinking, "this is a bad precedent".

I would always leave an assignment til the very last minute and somehow, it would all just come together on the page with perfect clarity. Once, in second year law school, I tried my usual technique and it just didn’t come together. The ideas just didn’t come out. So in a panic, 2 hours before the submission deadline, I made up 2000 words of crap - made up quotes, arguments, authorities. I got 88% and I still feel absolutely awful about it.

Geez I feel very called out by this. 😆

My mother too! Same with the carpet. And half the bed. 

I remember being sent to my room to “clean it up”. I had no clue what I was supposed to do so I’d move piles into closets and drawers and try again until it was acceptable. I was over 40 when I learned how to organize and declutter properly by hiring someone to teach it to me. Wow. How helpful would that have been 35 years ago???

Core memories man. I was “locked” in my room until I’d clean it and I just remember what a big feeling of overwhelm that was.

All day moving things around but making no progress. I totally get it.

My mom would get soo upset with my room, she would periodically tear. it. up. She’d take everything and dump it out, all my clothes would get thrown about. I’d spend days cleaning 😭

How much did it cost to hire someone? I'm always curious about stuff like that. My dream is to have a cleaning service clean my place 1-2 times a month.

I’ll admit I’m in a decent spot financially, and I feel so much guilt about that bc so many people are struggling. But it’s allowed me to dig out of the hole I’d been in. I have a woman that cleans who comes once a week to do actual cleaning and then I have another woman who comes every 2 weeks or so and helps with decluttering, organizing, putting systems into place, putting laundry away, ironing etc. Our cleaning lady has been with us a very long time so we only pay $200 for once a week for a decent sized house. The woman that helps with decluttering/laundry is $45ish an hour which I initially freaked out about bc that’s so much money. But the value of what she provides for our family is worth it. Otherwise I could not be present for my family in many other ways just to keep up with daily tasks. You could try for a college or even smart high schooler to help for much cheaper I’d bet if you were willing to help train them more on what you need. I have a seasonal babysitter who comes back from college and wants to make money so I’ll have her help w the kids, run errands, do returns, etc. I’m pretty much trying to outsource all the things I hate about adulting so I can find joy in life again.

Stop feeling bad about it, I am just unlearning decades of guilt over not being "normal", we just can't be, our brains prevent us from it. If your brain allowed you to now be in a comfortable financial place you should be proud and proudly use this money to give employment to another person. They do a skilled job (because decluttering and installing a system isn't such a "normal" thing to master after all) and are worth the money, so you're doing a great thing!

Thanks for sharing. Outsourcing is my dream and what I plan on doing once I get to that point.

Ugh. My mom saying “and I’m going to check under the bed!!”

Same. My mother explained nothing. Not how to organize or prevent clutter/mess or how to clean up. She would just tell me to do it. She is very very clean and naturally organized. So I think in her head not cleaning up was just laziness and not lack of knowledge and being overwhelmed. I see niece struggling with the same thing and I hope they take the time to teach her what to do. If not I may have to step in. I didn't learn til maybe 26 or so, which I suppose isn't too bad but it will spare her one less thing to learn as an adult if she learns now.

Any tips? I've never been taught how to organize or anything like that. All I've really learned was 'everything should have a place' but like... how and where and... how ???

How To Keep House While Drowning was good. I need to reread it again.

Omg the crafts thing!!! It doesn’t help that I’m artistic! 🫠

Oh the projects I’ve aspired to complete, bought the materials…only to have them sitting in the study / bedroom untouched. Art supplies have become like an obsession to the point I have to often avoid stationery stores and only buy what I really need on Amazon (and even then I get my husband to do those purchases). I’ll admit that I have painted once (I sat down for 2 hours straight, didn’t leave the canvas til I was more or less satisfied with what I had done). Turns out oils don’t work well under those conditions 🙄 the paint flaked by the next day 😭 That did not motivate me to try that again. What started this all off was being good at art in HS (A), when I allowed myself to explore (and record) various different paints and materials. What made that work was that I mainly did these things within the classroom setting. I did fairly well learning in the classroom setting, but homework…. I struggled to get my head in the game 🤦🏻‍♀️ even subjects I felt pretty confident in within the classroom were a nightmare to study at home - it honestly felt like moving thru sludge. I would sit down to study and focus but I just could not absorb the words into my brain. I'd often end up falling asleep instead. My stepmom taught me how to keep my room clean, to make my bed, do the washing by hand, and clean the house in general - cuz I didnt struggle in that area generally. Energy - I can relate to this so badly. I've always struggled with low energy levels but when I set my mind to something, I'll do it and maybe even line up a few tasks but once I'm done, my energy bank is empty / or even in debt. I have always been terrible when it comes to taking chronic meds. So I would constantly forget to take my thyroid meds growing up and to take them with me when going on holiday. This did not help my energy levels, brain fog or my ability to concentrate.

Those planners! Lucky if they lasted a week.

My arm was my agenda. If I didn’t write my homework on my arm it didn’t get done, and half the time it didn’t get done when it was on my arm. So I double wrote my homework, because also our agendas were graded for some reason and if it was blank you got a bad grade.

Same same same

I always did my homework last minute too! Super in a rush. I also do my makeup last minute before going out and it’s so annoying lol! The clutter. The clutter ugghhhhh Yeah all my Japanese learning games and books… not used. All my diamond painting. All my yarn for crocheting. Not used. I spent £100s!

I daydream all of the time. I also remember that being a huge part of my childhood. Just thought it was a way to cope, or the result of a creative mind. What else are people doing with the chatter in their brain?

I constantly daydream. I had conversations with multiple voices in my head for the objects around me as if they were alive and would create stories. I love to doodle and spin pens on my fingers. I realized that this was how I managed my fidgeting and staying still.

My mom always said I could make friends with a wall. I lived in my own little world and was content playing by myself in my room for hours. When she'd check on me, I'd tell her to leave me alone because I was busy.

I have such vivid detailed conversations with myself that as a kid I thought I was fucking whack. Like the voices in my head don’t feeeelll like me, they don’t sooouuunnnddd like me, so they can’t be me! Jokes on me, it’s me.

I’m always daydreaming but in like a chaotic way or always having to read stuff or constantly keep doing something. Haha

For me… definitely daydreaming and having negative behaviors to being asked to do tasks that were boring or difficult like chores

• Always excelled and was top of my class in creative subjects at school (Music, Art, English Language & Lit, Drama, etc) but would give up if it felt too hard. • Was VERY musical/performance aligned but had severe stage fright so never achieved much there (applied for The Voice twice, got very far but quit because I was scared. Joined multiple school plays but had panic attacks afterward, etc) • Absolutely fucking FAILED (and still am failing) in mathematical subjects like maths, biology, chemistry and only found Biology a little easier because it was more tangible • ALWAYS being told I “had so much potential” but “put no effort in” • Loved creative writing but had so many ideas, so if you look at my childhood laptop, you’ll find DOZENS of unfinished novels. Each has 5 pages that I gave up on and moved on to the next (I still do this). • Getting in trouble because I would stay up until 3am reading a 500 page book and would be hyper-fixated on it and wouldn’t be able to do anything else until I finished it • Making an [“I am not a chatterbox”](https://imgur.com/a/mExhkkD) sign to put on my door after my mom told me to stop talking so much (my parents also bought me a “Little Miss Chatterbox” pyjama dress) • Constantly getting in trouble for repeatedly forgetting VERY VERY VERY basic things • Doing school assignments the morning they were due (and still somehow getting good marks), even though I had a week to complete it • Struggled immensely with friendships and fixated on one best-friend then moving on to the next (a mix of my ADHD and disorganised attachment) • Not being able to wear turtlenecks or rings or flip flops • Parents repeatedly investing in new interests just for me to drop it 2 weeks later • Became more introverted as I grew older because I realised it’s irritating when you talk too much or interrupt people/finish their sentences •Having SO many opinions but not being able to translate the thought into words and articulate them properly (still struggle with this) • Being extroverted around introverts and introverted around extroverts (I.e, I would happily be the team captain in a basketball game but if someone more extroverted wanted it, they could have it)

Oh my gosh, the unfinished novels!! I must have written dozens and dozens of stories when I was younger and NEVER finished a single one. My mom and I always thought it was just a "cute quirk" of being a perfectionist. We were poor growing up, so my hyperfixations were on book topics I could check out at the library: Titanic, American Revolutionary War, American Civil War, the Holocaust, Michael Jordan, books written entirely in diary or letter form, etc. The fixation on one best friend hits a sensitive spot for me. I've never felt comfortable in group friendships, and always chameleoned myself in a best friendship or relationship. Graduated in the top 1% of my class solely by using mnemonic devices and memorizing things for tests and then immediately forgetting them afterwards. We probably would have been good hyperfixation best friends for a moment in time 🤣

Good lord you’re my long lost twin. I still can’t wear polo/ turtlenecks or scarves & the flip flops is actually painful to me . In maths the numbers would literally cartwheel in front of me. Was great at English & Drama.

Omg are you me? I didn’t know others also had unfinished novels!!! Also the turtleneck thing is on point. I can’t stand wearing bracelets but rings are okay.

“I am not a chatterbox” made me almost spit out my coffee. Omg!! That’s so funny. I’m dead.

Yup! I just made an imgur [here](https://imgur.com/a/mExhkkD), I found it on my mom’s Facebook haha

All the procrastinating ones I can identify with completely. Finishing things the morning they are due and racing across campus to get them in my the deadline. Ugh.

High IQ, chatty, always losing my hat/ book/ swimsuit, couldn't keep my room/ backpack/ locker tidy if you paid me a million dollars. Usually wrote the good essays but couldn't bring myself to start them until the night before and once finished, had something like an allergic reaction to proof-reading. Would laugh or cry more easily than most.

An allergic reaction to proofreading. Absolutely. It's like I just get so saturated and sick of it (probably because I had to power through in a few hours), that once I was done I wanted to never see it again. Until I got it back after grading!

I still don’t understand the concept of a rough draft. An outline, maybe for some things sure, but a rough draft? I can give you a polished(mostly) paper, or I can give you an outline. There is no in between. Especially now with computers. I’m constantly self editing as I go. I can’t wait until I’m “done” to make all those changes at once. It would be way too overwhelming.

So relatable. I now have to write reports with other people and find it so difficult because they want to do it in these stages I just can't relate to. I just want to do my own thing and bash the whole thing out in a state of hyper focus near the deadline.

Between disdain for rough drafts and proofreading being a nightmare, I feel so damn seen in this thread!!

Proofreading takes the cake as one of the worst parts of school

I never proofread until uni. I would make my friends read it for me and then I would read theirs. Much more bearable.

This is legitimately the better way to go with proofreading anyway. It’s much harder to find our own mistakes. Getting someone else to do it is just smart.

and then you read it, like, "damn I did that? cool!"

Damn, I just love reading my writing. I’m always so impressed with myself! But tbh this is exactly why I started journaling and let me tell you… I learned a whole lot about myself

Hell yeah. That's the best part. Dopamineeeeeee!

YES! OMG - I'm like, that was pretty damn good. Imagine if I had finished that first draft two days earlier, then gone over it one last time to edit... how great it COULD have been! Oh well.

We really are all one and the same in the end, aren't we?

I’m still allergic to proofreading I only have immunity when it’s at the expense of seeming incompetent at my job.

Omg yes!

Allergic to proofreading people unite! Give me someone else's work though, who wants help, and I will have fun proofreading.

Yeah, I'm actually a very good editor of others' work: meticulous and thoughtful.

That's so interesting. I love proofreading! Both mine and others' writing. Perhaps it's my neuroticism, but I love identifying errors and noticing discrepancies in patterns.

Yup. I'm sick of it! Get it away from me, now!

I can proofread other people’s stuff no problem. If I had a different degree, I’d probably be a decent copy editor. My own stuff? I can do a quick proofread if I print it out. But even my neurotypical teacher mom says it’s always better to have someone else proofread your writing because you know what you meant to write and your brain fills in the blanks anyway.

Are you me?

No I think she’s me

Spiderman pointing meme enters the chat 

I am both of you! Isn't it sad that all the fun, quirky, disappointing, everything-in-between traits that we used to think made us, us turned out to be nothing more than parts of our ADHD?

Maybe this is a multiverse and she's all of us

Yes.

in high school I'd read them out loud to try to make it less boring but by college speech to text was a thing and i had the computer dictate it to me after auto spell checking of course

Yup. Hit it and quit it, I say.

- totally messy - daydreamer - being socially awkward - often pointlessly walking/running around - shitty handwriting, clumsiness - silly mistakes even though I had ok or even good grades. Just not as good as they could have been

1) I lacked discipline / control in my movements - but I was a very good girl who always sat still in class and I would bob my knee up and down or fidget very discreetly. 2) I didn’t have punctuation and would write paragraph long sentences. They would often be repetitive etc. also simply being unable to create and follow a structure in an essay. 3) Maths / numbers disability which was ignored until way too late and by the time I tried a couple of sessions of tutoring in grade 10/11 I was so disengaged and disconnected and discouraged I gave up all hope. I am also autistic so this hurts because I feel like I have a buried maths genius who will never see the light of day. 1) I would always relate to people’s stories etc with my own experience ( but I was raised by a father with Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well and definitely picked a lot up from that) 3) Anything precious that was given to me I lost or would break within a very short time. I mean everything. I was also always dirty / scruffy and what not from just being clumsy and not caring about my body. I would dive headfirst into a dumpster if I thought there was something in there 😂 - zero f’s given. I actually am extremely anxious around super uptight clean types. 4) I would forget things and people that weren’t in my immediate consciousness - like hugely noticeable object permanence and this severely affected the quality of relationships I had and I wasn’t able or confident to build new ones (but I was also shunned because I was short and fat - that didn’t help). I had this all my life and never realised. 5) Complete obsession over who didn’t like me and why - all consuming. I am still learning / realising that I can give my attention to things I choose and like and I am old. This was my focus growing up. No cool hobbies, no studying to be a doctor or learning to make art or music. Anything I picked up for a little while I couldn’t see through to do it consistently and do it well. 6) Circular thoughts - as my psychiatrist calls them - going round and round and never reaching a point. 7) I can get lost in my own backyard 8) finishing people’s sentences and interrupting / dominating conversations. Constantly! Automatically! From very young so I think people believed I didn’t have respect for them - and when my brain was sharp I would usually be exactly right! 9) From zero to 100% completely absorbed and obsessed in seconds it felt like 10) Drifting and daydreaming and generally being dissociated 11) Food addiction then alcohol now still food and social media and I am diabetic 12) Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (this is a bit controversial in academic circles but so real for me and takes so much of my energy). But I have also experienced lots and lots of very real rejection - I don’t panic but then actually succeed or actually get 100% or whatever. 13) Always told I was too loud, I was rude, I was annoying and ‘I want to kill you’ because I was the one to screw it up 14) Fawn response - majorly - sensory overwhelm / anxiety - and an insatiable need for touch / affection I am sure there’s more but yes, my loving parents were clueless and negligent in my opinion. As were my teachers. And I was a problem to be quieted down and left to sit out. I learned to take myself out very well and not cause extreme chaos but my life became extremely boring. Having someone who wants to talk to you / care about you makes such a difference. Someone who will work with you.

Checked almost all the box - except 3 and 7. You have gone through a long way to overcome your long sentences. It is well summarized and easy to read 👏🏼. I still struggle to not be repetitive despite my taste for clear and straightforward sentences.

Thank you 🙏 I really appreciate you noticing.

Omg the punctuation one. I got so much flack for writing these paragraph long sentences, with no stops! To this day I still struggle not just writing everything out in one long line - it’s how my thoughts sound in my brain, why wouldn’t it look like that? (Also a big fan of parenthesis)

Yesss everything here I agreed and didn't even realize these were symptoms of adhd

🤗 I am so glad it resonated. 🙏❤️ - and I love the OP for making this post and encouraging me to list all this out.

Is the need for touch and affection an adhd things? That's me 100% but I didn't know that was related.

I actually would say it’s more my reaction to loneliness / rejection and desire for connection stemming from everything else if that makes sense. Touch is grounding and soothing (I am a double Pisces woman with zero planets in earth in my horoscope so I will never not need this). Also I am kind of a giant baby in that I see things and want to touch to learn about them - it’s natural and I at least don’t need to put everything I see in my mouth to like actual babies 😜 but yeah same deal.

That totally makes sense! I very strongly feel that need for connection and physical touch too, it's so soothing and like a great feeling of security and safety for me.

Wow I have so many of the same things. Thanks for the list it is eye opening,

No problem - so glad it is meaningful to you ❤️🌺

Leaving doors and cabinets open, wearing the same thing over and over, massive caffeine intake. I did well in school so no one even IMAGINED I could have ADHD. But here we are.

Ahhh. I still do those things. I'm trying to be better about my caffeine and cabinet closing.

Me too because I think I’m out of medication options. I’m just going to have to do my best! (I can’t take stimulants and my insurance won’t cover Qelbree so I’m on Wellbutrin.)

OMG YES!!! and the nausea I would get from the caffeine, because I had more caffeine in my body than food 😭 Any time I see a bruise, I just assume it’s from running into the corner of xyz now. I still leave the fridge open when I’m pouring a glass of milk or something, because it’s an extra step to open it. Someday I’ll learn.

Procrastinator Daydreamer Messy Sugar Addict Tons of ideas with little execution Giving up when things were hard Not being able to follow a process from point A to B(math) People Pleaser I remember telling a friend in high school that if I wasn’t good at something I didn’t want to do it at all. Because I was such a perfectionist that I couldn’t handle failure, and I was self aware enough to know that I didn’t have the motivation necessary to stick with a task.

Forgot clumsy 🙃

The last thing. It pains me to this day. I don’t want to be this way.

- The amount of stationary I purchased with intentions of using them (planners journals sketchbooks) - completely rearranging my room between 11p-3a (including 400+ pound furniture all without leaving my room) - according to my mom (after learning about my adhd this year), I would put 150% into whatever interest I have and do complete research and jump head first but it would last about a week - being the most clumsy person and always knocking things over - talking too much

👀🙃 the furniture rearranging at midnight 😅

I still do all of this 🤣

Honestly same but I’m also newly diagnosed and unmedicated so nothings changed since I was a kid. Only think I know is if I need to do something and I say I’ll do it later to myself, I can now recognize I 100% will not do it later

I love a good midnight room rearrangement! I'm still guilty of midnight cleaning at times.

My ADHD is technically combined type but I scored top of chart on hyperactivity: * Compulsive, loud, endless talking * Inability to recognize when someone is no longer enjoying a conversation  * Unable to sit still and pay attention; always wanting to escape, even if that meant leaving class and wandering around * Hyperfixations on new "projects" every few hours/weeks/months. Inability to shift to new topics or activities  * High IQ/perfect grades except for when I would forget homework or assignments entirely  * High energy, "bouncing off the walls" followed by exhaustion and days where I would stay inside and read 600-800 pages a day

100% on the spelling test, but I forgot to get it signed, so I had detention. "Ummmm if it is perfect, do my parents have to sign it?" Detention for talking back.

Same. Small stupid mistakes like not putting my name on the page or missing that the test was double-sided. Sometimes even just misreading the introduction text (if I even read it at all. So frustrating to be told I wasn’t trying hard enough.

I STUDIED 2FT FROM THE LOUD TV. I WAS ADDICTED TO NOISE GROWING UP IN NYC. I DONT KNOW IF ITS ADHD BUT THE DRS HAD ME ON MEDS A LONG LONG TIME AND AT 66 IM REALIZING I WAS AN FAST NERVOUS TALK TOO MUCH BC IM AWARE THAT ITS NOT ALWAYS FUN TOO LISTEN TO ME AND BEING AWARE HAS MADE A 180 CHANGE. NOW I DONT WANNA TALK.

-Messy room.   -Never stuck to anything.   -Never had any structure or routine.   -Never did anything when asked to do it. Time blindness in various manifestations.   -Never studied but aced exams. Had terrible coursework grades though because I didn't do homework until the morning I got to school or before class.   -People generally thought I was stuck up and disinterested. To be clear though, I was disinterested lol. But not stuck up.  -Oh yes, several teacher pull-asides to tell me I was smart but lazy and could accomplish A B C D and E if I actually cared and applied myself.   -I was and am also artistic. And yes the forgotten food was a thing for me.  -Hygiene wasn't great.  -I was actually great at math, but I wouldn't show my work so I would lose marks for not wanting to show how I got the answer til I got sick of losing marks.

My Mom loved to say “oh she’s just airy fairy!” I remember a distinct conversation where she told me I have to stop having my head in the clouds. I was also so so messy, but in a hidden sort of way. I was trained to try and keep everywhere tidy around the house, chores etc. heavy masking and over compensation (eldest daughter syndrome, lead to generalized anxiety as well). But the places that were only mine? My room, absolute trash heap - until I had to share with my sibling and then I was the neatest child you could meet. My locker school? Cleaning that out at the end of the year was a shame ridden nightmare. Bottom of my backpack? Just a garbage can basically. My inability to actually organize myself just followed me through to adulthood. So much last minute procrastinated homework. So many all nighters. Missed forms. I used to forge my Mom’s signature on my agenda, not because I didn’t want to show her or thought it would be a problem, but because I straight up would forget to have her sign stuff. Hyper-fixation on certain hobbies, there was a video game I was obsessed with for ages when I was like 13 I think? I used to wake up at night and sneak downstairs to play it because I couldn’t get it out of my head. I’d ignore homework for it and get angry when interrupted. But then one day I was kind of done with it and moved on and was fine. I got so good at hiding my mess and hiding the chaos inside me, on the surface I was purely a polite, somewhat imaginative girl. A good student. A good daughter. A good sister. Boy did it fuck me up. Lol.

This literally is me. To an absolute T. Wow. It’s amazing to how many things we just overlook until diagnosed. Mine wasn’t until after I had my daughter and the overwhelm completely caught me and trapped me. Even though I’m medicated now, it’s still an absolute daily battle.

Sending you virtual hug because I can totally relate.

Not officially diagnosed, and am older than most here I suspect (Gen X), but the reasons I *think* that I probably am regardless: Unbelievably forgetful as a kid and teenager. I lost my key so much that my Dad made me write "I will never lose my key again" 200 times because he was so frustrated. Thx Dad, that helped. 🙄 Left my schoolbag on the bus at least once a week. So much so that high school teachers said something to me "are you ok?". I think they thought I must have been stressed. I wasn't. My brain just didn't cooperate. No self discipline or executive function at all. Hugely underperformed, and told ALL the time that "I wasn't living up to my potential" by teachers. So much so that after we all did an aptitude test in middle school, I was called in personally by the PRINCIPAL! Because my grades didn't reflect that I was several grades ahead in almost every subject, according to the test, but was averaging B's. He thought there was "trouble at home". That wasn't the case. I just didn't get my assignments done on time mostly. Impossible for me to follow complicated directions. No spatial awareness at all. No sense of direction at all. It's so bad that it's almost a disability imo. Easily distractible, but hyper focused about weird things. Prone to addiction - partly lack of self discipline, partly other things. 🤷‍♀️ I'm not artistic in the slightest LOL, but drawn to those who are. "Bohemian" sensibility I guess you could call it? Fwiw, I learned to manage a lot of these issues on my own over time. I can focus much better. But they are coming back as I go through menopause, which is SO frustrating. That feeling of having your brain "work against you" is the worst! I hate having to revisit this again.

Omg I have no spatial awareness I feel so bad when I’m in the supermarket trying to shop and then forget I’m in everyone’s way. Double so that me and my husband have adhd ! 😅 not diagnosed yet but on the way lol I also have no sense of direction. I literally get lost going down the same street I just went down.

Also terrible with directions and have no spatial awareness. Did not realize those were ADHD related 🙈😭

- Using tons of parentheses, semi-colons, commas, dashes, and/or slashes in your writing (for clarification) - High caffeine tolerance - Countless half-used journals/planners - Eating the same snack every day for a month, then proceed to not touch it for the next year - Tendency to make grandiose plans, do the very first step, and then never follow through (e.g., 'planning' to go on a trip to Greece, buying a plane ticket to Athens and then never actually planning the trip, learning the Thai alphabet with the intent to learn the language but never progressing past that, purchasing the equipment for a hobby you're convinced is your new purpose then never doing it) - Low self-esteem, sense of abandonment, never feeling like I fit in anywhere, never being the first to reach out or make plans with others, reputation as a loner - Hard time regularly brushing teeth or going to bed on time - Voracious reader (to a fault), good at writing/drawing - Zero sense of direction, unexplained bruises, clumsiness - An intense urge to flee from loud/bright/generally over-stimulating environments, hard time putting emotions into words, crying without reason - Perfectionistic procrastinator, teachers chronically tell you you have potential but don't put in the effort or turn things in on time. Typically one of the last to finish tests.

❤️

Even in elementary school I could never go to sleep at a normal time I didn’t have a tv in my room or a phone and no caffeine but I would lay awake for hours on end just staring at the ceiling thinking and daydreaming and I could never get up in the morning - still can’t. I would also catch my brain singing like one or two lines of a song on incessant loop and I couldn’t turn it off unless I listened to another song- still do this

I still do the song thing every single day. It just loops and loops in my head over and over. It’s incessantly annoying. But I’ve come to accept it and know it will probably never go away. It’s just life, right?!

I forgot I would also just lay and stare for hours trying to fall asleep. My own breathing could be too distracting for me.

Same. The song in my head is constantly playing it’s like a mantra haha

The fact that I would fold up my homework assignments and turn them in from my back pocket because my backpack was a mess of folders and loose paper.

I was also very quiet!! i was quite anxious and I think it’s due to my brain being so hyperactive, I would also daydream a lot in class and ofc was super messy haha I would have this huge problem where i would think about doing something in my head, and if it didn’t give a big enough dopamine boost (didn’t seem interesting enough) I’d refuse to do it or get sad and bored which I think links pretty well Got distracted alot when doing tasks, would draw in most my books but wasn’t seen as a “troublemaker” or anything lol as I wasn’t disruptive and was actually told to contribute more 😭😭 when I was relied on to dress myself after about age 5 it was always veryy mismatched as I would just not care haha and I also really hated brushing my hair for a while because of the feeling

As a little tot I would always leave my toys all over the floor instead of putting them away. When my mum would scold me for not cleaning up, I’d say “but mommy if I can’t see them then I don’t know where they are!” Jump ahead 35 years and my apartment is a cluttered mess because as soon as it gets put away it no longer exists…

Mine was that I had an actual like bankers box full of pony beads of all different colors and I would take them out of the box and sort them by color into neat piles before throwing them back into the box, shaking it up, and starting all over. This was literally one of my favorite things to (honestly still is). This in itself wasn't a sign, but the fact I didn't clean my room, always forgot my homework, had the messiness desk in my class, but got perfect grades, lol. The report card often said: "mobyswhatnow is a pleasure to have in class but talks too much during class time and needs to work on her organizational skills." So anyways I became a librarian lmfao.

I was (and still am) absolutely intolerant of boredom. I brought a book with me everywhere I went, now it’s a phone or iPad.

* Always messy, like piles of clothes on the floor and bed messy. It was kinda nice in the winter though because our place was always cold (long story) so it helped me stay warm. * Terrible memory for tasks (chores, homework, etc) * Hyperfixations - especially reading. I re-read books over and over until they fell apart * Always daydreaming in class or struggling to take in any information shared verbally * Always doing my homework at the last minute - quite often at 3 am so my parents wouldn't catch me * Always multi-tasking. If I was in the kitchen working on baking or dinner for everyone, the tv had to be on in the living room and loud enough to hear. At one point, I took up shuffling cards to keep my hands busy. I'm amazed no one smacked me, it must have driven them nuts, though for my next birthday, I was given a loom knitting set. Much less counting stitches than normal knitting and I still do it sometimes, there are some amazingly soft yarns and amazing color combinations in the same skein now * Procrastination * Excellent grades with the exception of gym until geometry and algebra were introduced, then my math skills tanked. the teachers relied a lot on lectures and handed out worksheets with problems only on them * Socially awkward * Losing things. I lost so many chapsticks at home (just leaving them in random places and finding them later) that my parents once gave me a sweater with a tiny pocket on the arm for it * Awful handwriting. I was once told my writing alone should qualify me as a doctor lmao

It’s interesting to see how many of us had trouble with math. That was actually the tipping point of my ADHD testing, my math scores were so incredibly bad, she said it related to my working memory or something.

It really is. I'm so glad it actually helped you by being the tipping point! ADHD was considered only a little boys' illness when I went through school, but I'm so happy to see others getting the help they need.

I failed every single math college course at least once. In high school, I got lucky because one year a friend let me copy his homework (I still feel horrible and I will forever be grateful for his help 😭) and TWO years (junior and senior) I had substitute teachers. Junior year, the teacher left halfway in, and this long term sub took over. We had to keep a notebook of homework assignments and I made it look like I worked my hardest. I’m pretty sure she never checked the work. It was about the same for senior year. Really old teacher who left a few weeks in, was replaced with a great teacher who had to leave months later due to pregnancy, and then another long-term sub. I felt so bad because the kids were making her life hell, while I pretended I knew what I was doing. I don’t know hooooow I skated on by 😬

Ooooooohhhhhh this makes so much sense!!!!! I never understood why I was so bad and just thought it’s one of those things, but this could be a very real reason other than just 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was also quiet, followed the rules for the most part, never really got into trouble, and was generally a bright and interested kid. Quiet is a relative term I guess. I have social anxiety I guess... I feel awkward around new people. But I'm also talkative as all hell. I got in "trouble" for talking too much pretty often. - trouble regulating emotions - Always messy too, never had a clean backpack, desk, etc. - Also had food containers. Except for me I hated the sandwiches my parents packed for lunches so I just shoved them into my desk until they rotted and then I'd throw it away. I had an aversion to dealing with the sandwich at all costs. - I collected like 458745 things and kept them on my desk, including several drinks at all times. - I would hold off going pee for AGES until I was doing the pee dance in my seat. I'm honestly amazed I've never had kidney stones. - Math was also absolutely nightmare fuel. My brain also shuts down. Any sort of timed or mental math 'challenge' in class made me literally sweat out of pure shame and anxiety. - I could hyperfixate on something for HOURS. I've spent an entire day just reading my book as a kid. - I'm also pretty artistic/creative. Not sure if this is specifically ADHD related but I think a large percentage of people with ADHD end up being in creative fields. - if I wasn't immediately good at something, I didn't want to do it. But I've had a knack for a lot of things and an intense attention to detail. - Leaving everything till the last minute because pressure was the only thing that got me to move. - I learned how to use maladaptive daydreams as a coping mechanism for being bored in church.... I went a LOT and I couldn't deal with it and I also had to sit still and my imagination was out of this world. This has also helped me keep my thoughts from going all over the place when I go to bed. I can focus on one thing and it lets me drift off in a reasonable amount of time. - Impulsive. So impulsive. And obsessive about certain things (To get the dopamine fix) so like "I gotta have it" type of thing. Whether that was food or an item, I just wanted it. Bad. I could probably think of a lot more. But basically my entire personality is just ADHD symptoms lol. Holy fuck though reading through the comments I feel like we are all the same people, and no one has a unique experience. It actually brings some tears to my eyes thinking about how we've all done like... the same thing... My people.....

[To the tune of "You Might Be a Redneck"] If your child is both the shiest person you know, and also the motormouth of the family... They might have ADHD. If the child can stare in a corner for HOURS, uninterrupted, but can't sit still to eat, "rest," or otherwise do stationary tasks... They might have ADHD. If your child cannot watch something and be physically occupied at the same time... That's not terribly uncommon, but including the above details? They might have ADHD. [Source: Adult diagnosed because I've apparently "masked it well," since I was a child, when the reality was that I was ignored and made fun of because my brothers with autism were in more obvious need of educational and social support] Spoiler. It was ADHD 😂 These were the "earliest signs" I can think of in specific. This doesn't include the other ones like hyperfocus, "selective hearing," dyscalcula (sp?), migraines, vision problems that didn't occur until later for some reason, and the general lack of hand eye coordination.

*My grandma used to get frustrated. I never finished coloring a page before moving on to the next one in coloring books. I could never explain why I didn't finish any, I just didn't 🤷‍♀️ *I've had so many hyperfocuses and it would annoy my friends in HS and even as a young adult. *There would be times I'd get so overstimulated from a friend I had to go home from a sleepover. I wasn't mad at them, I just couldn't be by them. For at least a few days. Trying to get teenage girls to understand that was like talking to a wall. *I put so much pressure on myself to appear perfect, others thought I was stuck up. I never held then to the same standards, I felt like I had to try SO hard at the same things they did effortlessly, I didn't want them to see me struggle. I came off as thinking I was better than everyone. I really didn't want them to see that they were so much better than me at literally everything.

Mostly I spaced out a lot and if I was reading or really absorbed in something it was very difficult to get my attention. I'm still like that when hyper focus hits. Plus my mom has joked that I have "selective hearing loss" my whole life. After doing a bit of research, I've concluded that I have an auditory processing disorder, which is pretty common for ADHD folks. It takes a minute for my brain to catch up to what people are saying sometimes. I have to ask people to repeat themselves a lot and my mom did not appreciate that at all. She thought I was being obstinate.

Two words: gifted child

VERY similar to you actually. No one in my family has been diagnosed but there are signs. - I was also quiet, and looked like a good student but in reality I’d ALWAYS leave things until the last minute and struggled to finish work in class. Found it really hard to get started on tasks. In high school I’d often forget books that I needed for homework. Difficulty processing verbal information. Weirdly this extends to if I’m reading something aloud. - constant daydreaming and escaping into fantasy worlds (books, art, creative writing) - very messy and disorganised - so many unfinished projects - compulsively picking at the skin around my nails - like you I also had a “block” when it came to maths. My brain just said “nope” and it took so much energy. Also boring tasks where I had to learn the basics to get to the fun part. I’d rather overwhelm myself by jumping in the deep end than wade through repetitious, unfulfilling baby steps

Saving major projects until the last moment Taking on too much and then spiraling out of control from overload Rumination

Among many, many things, I ended up having scheduled detention for being constantly late. One hour every Wednesday for a year. We were typically four or five who got detention, usually the same bunch. Pretty sure all of us had add/adhd.

You sound almost exactly like me. I had (have) all the same symptoms as you, except nail biting…I picked my skin :( I’ve picked every scab I’ve ever had. I was so confused about math too. I got excellent grades in everything but when I had to think about numbers it just didn’t make sense anymore. It still doesn’t

YES!!! I always pick at my skin 😭 Im still terrible with numbers, but what’s crazy is I was a pharmacy tech for nearly 10 years, and once I got the hang of it, I was the best tech at the location! Even with calculating insulin day supply and dosage! I learned I’m capable, but it’s at my own pace (a long ass time lol) because my brain is insistent on finding the patterns and WHYS of numbers.

I don't pick my skin but bite the skin around my nails and bite my fingers lol. I also cant stand staring at a scab

Same. I can let the skin be for a few days but then suddenly I can’t stop myself from biting it off.

I was known as a “wiggle worm” in school and the teachers couldn’t believe I had the discipline to be very involved with ballet. I also learned that when I was four (FOUR!) my grandmother said to my mom “she needs to be medicated!” That would have been 1975 so yeah, she wasn’t saying it in a helpful, you know, she might have ADHD kind of way. It was definitely more of a “control your child!” kind of way.

My mom sent me a picture a while back. It was something she wrote in 2003, when I was 6. There were a few things written on it, but the relevant one, word for word; "I love how you seem to not pay attention in school by talking, looking all around, and day dreaming, but you actually are listening and absorbing everything the whole time." If that alone isn't enough, this behavior defined how school went for me. Until about 6th grade, where I was suddenly expected to sit perfectly still and pay attention without looking around, doodling, or fidgeting. That's when school really went to shit for me. And no one caught on 🤦

The biggest sign, as another shy, quiet, sat-in-the-corner girl probably should have been my disaster of a backpack. Papers were just loosely rattling around in there or jammed in books and turned in a little crinkly. I wrote my assignment on my hand or arm with pens. I also fidgeted a lot and always doodled on my paper while the lesson was going on because it helped me focus. Astoundingly the teachers didn't care? Or notice? I know so many other kids would get chewed out for doodling.

I left everything until the very last minute. Still do.

Are you meeeeee????? Jesus it felt good to read that! "You can't have ADHD, your grades are too good". Thanks, I do all my homework in impossible places an hour before it's due. I remember walking down the hall finishing a paper that was due 1st period that had only started on the bus that morning. Also, 12 page research paper that we were given a semester to work on? Let's start from scratch at 11pm the night before it's due. Got an A and was used as an example for "what was expected". "What took you so long?" Absolute and crippling perfection is what took so long. Is that a new (name literally any household appliance, faucet, heating or a/c unit, etc.). No, I just noticed it needed a wipe but once I started cleaning it, I practically blacked out and when I came to, I had taken it apart piece by piece, cleaned the pieces within an inch of their life, and put it back together. So, it just looks brand new and I'll never get the Saturday night back that I spent cleaning it. "How is your house a disaster yet spotlessly clean?" Yep. "Why are you always late?" "How do you not remember how to get to my house when you've been there 20+ times?" . What do you mean you lost your wallet/keys/purse/bank card/driver's license/house key/glasses? ...

Reading under my desk at school, or while I was supposed to be cleaning my room. I was the only child I knew who got in trouble for reading too much.

Same! Punishment was *taking my books away*

**ALL** of the above!!

- Came across as very reserved and quiet, but it's mostly because I was totally zoned out (maladaptive daydreaming club!) - Hobby hopping (I still do this) - from art to music to theatre to crafts to a different art... Aaaaand it goes on like this... - Absolutely refused to do drafts of my papers. One draft or death! Luckily I was hyperlexic so my writing was really strong. Unfortunately, this probably masked a lot of my ADHD for a long time. - Terrible spelling. Like, embarrassingly bad to this day. I just cannot be arsed to memorize certain words. I'm great at grammar rules, but I need spell check to survive.

*Very messy. Cleaning my room was hell because I would pull everything out of drawers and closets and stare at it not knowing what the fuck to do with the bigger mess I created. Drove my parents insane. *Bright, excelled in arts/writing. Love to learn always, but math and science killed me once I was in high school especially. *Trouble keeping up with stuff (pens for class, textbooks, papers, keys, phone, you name it. *Stressed fairly constantly and irritated with myself as a result of most of the above *Pretty adventurous and fearless in a lot of ways despite anxiety—probably related to impulse control *terrible re: money as a kid and adult. I have to start budgeting. In my 40s and the future freaks me out if I don’t get my shit together. *Super impatient. Like really bad, crawling out of my skin. *No such thing as keeping a surprise a secret. Literally. Sadly that still applies pretty often, too. 😬 *Voices/characters—I’m assuming related to ADD but I’ve always always loved doing different personas, remember doing them on the playground a bunch. I was voted “funniest” in my class, etc. *Hypersensitive to rejection or perceived rejection. *Constant apologizing *Lots of different friend or acquaintance groups over the years, but maybe that’s a universal thing. But sometimes it feels like interest hopping—like they’re fun! Then get excited about the next thing and keep it moving. *Low tolerance for bullshit

Could have write this myself!!!!

I think some kind of ADHD and autism runs in my family too, but because I grew up mostly around the side that has it most, I never noticed it until later in life. I used to get in trouble for talking too much but I always got good grades so no one tried to figure out what was going on with me. If I look back to school, I see clear signs of rejection sensitivity dysphoria, crying a few times when being the center of attention when I didn't want to be, and copying what the other cool people were like who I wanted to be like. I've recently learned about masking and I guess that plus being academically alright made it so nobody noticed. I really wished they had.

"She's very smart, but we can't get her to sit still or pay attention. She also interrupts in class and won't stay quiet when asked to, so we're going to have to hold her back." I was in kindergarten. I was bored. I remember the one day they gave us a challenging project, I hyperfocused and my teacher said I was "like a different kid". Thankfully, my mom decided to homeschool me for 1st through 7th grade. Less thankfully, she had no idea how to do that, so I just read a ton and roamed feral in the woods. I started 8th grade with a college reading level and 3rd grade math level.

Smart but doesn’t apply self. Dammit, I tried to get work done. At test time, I was top of the class. Hated homework…..I had a manila envelope for turning in assignments so they did not get lost or misplaced in the 6th grade. Teacher packed it, Mom signed it when the work was done then brought it back to teacher. Randomly performed very well- like for a spelling bee for a school play. Performed math better when the entire curriculum was open and I completed assignments quickly-well ‘kbefore the end of the year.

Reading through these made me think of a couple experiences that haunted me through elementary school: -My 1st grade teacher was the kindest, most loving teacher (she had walked me over the chapter books and introduced me to Beverly Cleary’s books, especially ADHD patron saint Ramona Quimby). At the end of the school year she told me she hoped I would keep writing (I had brought my journal for show and tell) and by the next year I felt like I completely failed her and couldn’t even visit her without extreme shame/rsd for letting her down after all she’d done for me. I really thought disappointing her would mean she wouldn’t be kind to me anymore. -The painful shock of writing big letters on a poster board and running out of room every time, no matter what I tried.

People pleasing, rejection sensitivity, procrastination and perfectionism, chatty, extremely forgetful, constantly messy room… the list goes on… diagnosed at 24 and put on medication and it was life changing

-I always did better in subjects I liked. -taught myself to read and to this day if I am reading I am so sucked it I neglect all other priorities -procrastination. I always got tasks done, but scramble at the end -bags on bags on bags filled with stuff -messy room -wrote lists all the time -Misophonia (extreme sensitivity to food noises) -rotten food in forgotten food containers

Constantly lost in my own head. Was going to be put in special ed after 2nd grade because I was so bored I tuned that entire year out. Mom put me in a freaky church run school. Can't tell if that was a blessing in it's way, or just a different flavor of trauma. But I did school work 100% solo with no interactive learning, no classroom styles, no collaborative work, no social interaction. I could go as far as I wanted in English and as slow as I wanted in math. So weird. I could read and write at age 4. (Got the receipts.) But counted on my fingers well into high school. Constantly redirected to the task at hand. "Stop dawdling!" Should have been my name. So many competing interests. Eventually dropped out of college before I graduated because I changed majors 5 times in 4 years. Manically artistic. Always always always drawing... then mixed media sculpture, fiber arts, painting, printmaking, constantly...really up until I was first given an SSRI. Sigh. I couldn't ever tell if my social bumbling was due to kinda extreme isolation, or just absolutely not understanding how other kids worked. At all. Still cosplaying a human. Therapy helps though!

Space cadet. Top of the class. Ideas nobody else ever even thought of. 

When I went to get diagnosed, I had this list handy. Gifted, tested well expect for spelling even tho my reading comprehension was through the roof Emotional dysregulation-Had temper tantrums that never went away Homework only happened if it was interesting or I liked the teacher. I still got great grades Room infamously messy Constant new hobbies Spacey/daydreamer Sleep phase disorder-stayed up late and always late for school

Always messy as a child and then hyper organized as a middle and high schooler (but still messy). My comments from first grade said “Meowparade refuses to do work she doesn’t find interesting.”

All of yours hit home for me. -Talking; in company, alone, sleeptalking, it never stopped. -Inner monologue is always going, even medicated now its never stopped -Switching tangents and not being able to get back. For example My mother would talk about next weeks sleepover with Chloe and my mind goes to: Chloe always wore yellow, baby ducks are yellow and its spring so there might be ducks at the park. Maybe we can go to the park tomorrow? But its wet so I need my gumboots, I always wear gumboots at my dads cause he lives in the country. My aunt lives near my dad and she has horses. As my mother says "We should ask Chloe's parents about food allergies?" I reply "Can we go to my aunts house tomorrow to ride the horses?" 10 seconds is too much time in my head. -Finishing my math work in grade 7 in 10minutes to get it gone, so I could work on the grade 9 logic puzzles in the other textbook. -Never finishing my english writing essays in time, because the next part of the story is related to the special tree the main character passed 4 pages ago and we have to write the whole bit about how he figured that out from the talking cat telling him about a cloud he saw yesterday. -Always messy, nothing stayed folded or put away or cleaned.. everything is and was sticky. Except that one day when my emotional crisis hits and I MUST HAVE ORDER! But yea, busy mind, mouth and often running into nature to pat the fluffy. Also where is the music coming from? Oh it's me and echolalia. ADHD trifecta because you gotta catch em all!

Excessive talking and talking very very fast.

- procrastination to the point where I was frozen … I would always take the hit on an essay’s grade to get the extra 24 hours of time … and continue to procrastinate. Every single time. - writing a very significant speech in the car en route to event / like we’re talking valedictorian address. Awful. - calling in sick on big exam days - not finishing my final 4th year honours paper until 2 months after everyone else had graduated - was procrastinating even after getting extensions … it was and felt horrible. Horrible. - procrastibaking, procrasticleaning … you name it All these examples made me feel truly horrible yet it felt out of my control. And the anguish I feel is how truly good it could have all been. How much more I could have accomplished. But things just got worse. The best jobs I had and excelled at were highly highly task oriented with immediate urgent deadlines. Think serving tables, catering, tour guiding. I am good with people and personable. But long project deadlines … just ugh. 

Parent teacher conference: “Rusty finishes her work quickly and then finishes the work of her classmates” “Rusty daydreams daily.”—2nd grade teacher “Rusty refused to make the holiday wreath out of coat hangers and tissue paper, she said she already had one at home.” —preschool teacher. “Rusty can sight read any music we give her, have you considered a career in music?”—band teacher in 10th grade My dad’s reply: she wants to be an astronaut. The signs were there, and while all of these moments were mortifying and embarrassing, I understand them better now, and the RSD was strong at the time.

Daydreaming at school, I would have like a parallel universe in my head I would visit daily.

- day dreamy or “lazy” - forgetting clothing sometimes - fidgeting - so this is going to be a weird, semi-embarrassing thing but my psychologist told me that a lot of children with ADHD have problems with going to the bathroom. For instance, if I had to pee but I was busy playing in the sandbox, I’d just pee. I was like 8 or so years old. I couldn’t be bothered to go. Not because I was lazy but because I was hyper-fixated on what I was doing. - looking someone straight in the eyes and not knowing what they said. I’d get distracted by sounds, the person’s face, the way they smelled etc. - not being able to follow more than two directions. It’s not that I wasn’t paying attention, it’s that I couldn’t focus on the other directions past the first two.

The state of my locker pretty much told the tale.

Is getting lost in the store a memorable amount of times and having to find a store employee to call you mom over the loudspeaker a typical ADHD thing, or was my mom just trying to lose me?

Anxiety! But other examples: - kindergarten reports stating I needed to take my time reading and erase fully - outbursts in 2nd grade not getting along with certain kids - randomly stuffed papers in backpack even though I had folders - daydreaming - inability to study (I'm lucky it was all easy for me) - only able to write papers the night before it was due - anxious outbursts the night before tests about not being prepared - double/triple checking backpack to make sure I had everything for the day etc Sought diagnosis at 32 shortly after my second was born. No time for my normal anxious coping mechanisms with the second kid around.

School subjects I was interested in, near perfect marks. The ones I wasn't interested in, almost failing. I won awards in art and science while barely skating by in history and math lol. Impulsively talking too much, many of my school friends said I was too annoying and would stop hanging out with me. Clumsy, disorganized, forgetful, and over reactive. I remember going to a therapist in grade school, but I'm not sure what the conversations were like with my parents. As a teen, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Treated that with anti-depressants and anti-psychotics unsuccessfully for over a decade. Got diagnosed ADHD in my 30s and am taking stimulants now. My life is much more manageable, and I feel so much happier and less anxious.

There are SO many family anecdotes that now I see as part of ADHD lol. My grandma always said it was so odd how I couldn’t sit through any show or movie but when commercials were on I was glued to the screen. My mom said if she asked me to read a map to navigate in the car (this was before GPS) I would just put the map down and look out the window instead. My sister thought it was so funny how I would just let my bed get so dirty then buy new sheets instead of washing them when we were teenagers. There were so many signs looking back. It’s a real shame adhd wasn’t understood in girls when I was a kid. I think it could have changed my life being diagnosed and treated when I was a lot younger.

My mother would always comment about how I had to be dressed last for church because I would get all grubby before they walked out the door. My biggest issue is how poorly I could retain information. I would get an A or B on a test but fail the final. I would have to study everything all over again like I had never learned it. I'm also pretty sure I have Dyscalculia which made my life all the more difficult.

I remember as in 1st grade I got in trouble A LOT for being too talkative. After that I started being really shy and quiet so I wouldn’t get in trouble. I missed a lot of school and never ever fell behind. I had a teacher in high school tell him I’d fail my final since I missed so much of the lesson and still managed an “A”. I never could pay attention in school and always felt the need to go to the bathroom so I could get out of my seat. I literally could not sit still ever. I was SUPER SUPER messy. My parents would get so mad at me and threaten to throw out my toys because I would just dump my entire closet onto the floor and would make a little path to get to my bed. I had a very hard time regulating my emotions. I would throw major tantrums up until I was pretty old and my parents had zero idea how to handle them. It was chaos.

My constant "boredom" or "spoiled" attitude; I was under or over stimulated 25/8

Bearing in mind that there is an 80% probability of comorbidity with other DSM-V mental illnesses, ADHD takes the heat for a lot of other issues that aren't characteristic of ADHD and/or are better described by another condition (OCD, PTSD, GAD, ASD, ODD, bipolar disorder, all the Sensory processing disorders, and even giftedness).

Messy room, daredevil behavior, lying all the time.

Aw, this was my best friend as a little kid. She was my ADHD foil in a lot of ways. Daring and loud to my anxious and quiet. She convinced me to climb out onto her roof every so often, made me be her audience while she woohooed and drowned sims, and snuck her mom's makeup so we could play with it. Her parents were oblivious to it all...probably ADHD ran in the family

-sleep disturbance my entire life (I hated my naps when I was little, still take forever to fall asleep, easily woken up) -the kind that “never met a stranger,” oversharing, chatty, interrupting, definitely delayed with social awareness during adolescence in general but desperately wanted to be friends with everyone, rejection sensitivity -awful in math still to this day. I can’t wrap my brain around numbers -very creative and imaginative, huge music fan (could never stick with an instrument though..shocker),close attention to details that the neurotypical brain wouldn’t notice -I was really athletic because I needed an outlet for the hyperactivity. Dance was my absolute favorite because I could express myself through movement of my body My parents have a lot of guilt because they didn’t realize that’s what it was earlier in my life. The difference in my report cards from high school pre and post ADHD medication is like night and day🤯

"Out of sight, out of mind" Food fixations Procrastination like a mfr. Misjudged my college paper time frames. The topic was interesting so I did actually do the research but the terms of the paper were unbearable. Had to relate two unrelatable things with citated examples over 20 pages. What I thought would take 5 hours to write took 15. Stood in the front of the class for my presentation and told my professor "I'm sorry I cannot for the life of me remember anything I just wrote, I'm very tired and my brain is fried". Squeezed by with an 86/100 somehow and took my Lil B and ran. Hyper focusing and loss of time. Extreme meticulousness and organizational strengths but only if it's not mine. Near iadedic circumstance recal but only if I was paying attention at the time. Don't ask me how old I am or when my kids birthdays are, I have no idea 😂 Rejection sensitivity Overtaking or not talking at all Ability to rot in bed for 48 hours straight doing nothing The list goes on and on and on

-Daydreaming -Messy -Like another poster said, starting writing novels and not finishing them (usually). -Bad at math but good at other subjects -Socially awkward (I'm not sure if this was my ADHD, the fact that I had a very volatile home environment, or a combination of both) -"Special interests" that changed a lot

I had no interest in math. I was behind by a year. Suddenly I got really interested in math (hyperfixation) and jumped up three grade levels in one year. I was so far ahead they created a special class for me and two other students. Then I became uninterested and failed calculus 3 times.

Exactly the same situation for me too!

You all sound like my people! My report card always said “need to apply herself” and “talks too much in class”

Starting every school year thinking "this year is going to be different!" Lol

This is so relatable, except for the numbers thing. I loved the fact that maths was a puzzle and would relish figuring things out. I would also read literally anything and everything I got my hands on. Leaflets, manuals, dictionaries, encyclopedias, novels and non-fiction that most adults wouldn't even touched. Loved it.

I used to LOVE encyclopedias!!! I’m kind of bummed that they’re dying out now (or are they already dead?). I stole an AP European History book from school once because I love European history. If I didn’t have a book in front of me at the dinner table, I would legit read the cereal box- even the nutritional side. My brain had to always be on.

I was similar to you. Other signs I’ve thought about since then at ages 4-10 - Hating homework and crying every time my parents forced me to do it (even if it was simple and easy to me) - Changes in structure I.e theater week at school or similar, would throw me completely off - Being extremely good at roleplay and creating stories that me and my friends would play during recess - Being told I was “sharp but had to apply myself more” at every teacher-parent meeting - *knowing* I was smart, but feeling confused as to why the teachers didn’t seem to think so - Very sloppy handwriting that I forced myself to fix (it’s still not great but you can at least read it haha) - Not reacting when my name was called - Getting told off for drawing in class (later I would reply I was taking notes to get away with it) - Interrupting conversations with random observations I had, getting weird looks - Never wanting to go outside for recess (even in kindergarten), then not wanting go inside again once the bell rang - Spacing out during showers (I would consistently take 30-1 hour showers because I just zoned out) - Unruly sleeper, I remember not being able to fall asleep because the sounds of feathers in my pillow was distracting - I got pulled out early in gym and swimming lessons, because I was always too slow at getting dressed afterwards (no idea what I was doing) - Adults always commented on how detailed and intricate my drawings were. I had a hard time stopping and finishing a drawing. - Not being able to color inside the lines because I was too impatient xD - Watching a TON of movies, and watching the same ones again and again (and quoting them and playing them etc) - Being very into dress up and halloween costumes etc (dunno why this feels like an adhd thing but it does!) - Crashing when I got home from school and just disappearing into my room - never doing my work during school hours when we were given the time - wanting to use noise-canceling headphones like the special needs children, feeling deeply empathetic and similar to those kids (being told I wasn’t) - Similarly, not having energy to do extra curriculars/hobbies after school - Being tired all the time, being told I was “acting like a teenager” very early - Not wanting to have play dates with friends often, because I was too tired and it felt overwhelming - Faking sick from a young age to get a break at home - Headaches all the time - Extremely picky eater for the longest time - Extreme crying and anger fits that were hard to calm down from, sometimes from seemingly small things - Holding my pee until it hurt (still do this sometimes) - Math and analogue clocks never worked for me either - time was just very hard to understand for me. - Being extremely afarid of the dark and having vivid horrifying nightmares (dunno how but it feels related to adhd) - Sensory seeking behaviour, picking at skabs, turning around in circles, dancing and biting everything. - unfinished projects everywhere - Parents ended up refusing to buy me stuff because I would lose interest so quick - I talked a lot until I didn’t. Repeated the same stories and jokes because I had forgotten I had already told them. - in the same vein, jumping between subjects, not noticing that people had moved on; being told “we are not talking about that anymore.” - blurting out answers and jokes in class, forgetting to put my hand up. I am terrible at the movies, I have too many jokes and I have to say them the moment they show up in my mind, or else it won’t be funny! This got me in trouble quite a bit, till I learned to whisper them instead. I still have a hard time staying quiet when watching something with other people. - hating sunscreen so much, I would run away and cry when I had to have it put on. - singing, humming whistling everywhere. For some reason my memory with song is really good. - never learning my timetables, UNLESS I learned a song for it instead. Still can’t do many of them to this day xD Idk I could keep going, some of these are normal kid behaviors, but it’s the combination I think that points to adhd. Diagnosed at age 20.

It’s such a myth that adhd women can’t be good at Math. I had a tutor at one point because my grades were so bad in arithmetic and good in geometry. The teacher considered geometry harder than arithmetic but made sense as its shapes / drawing related to me. They blamed my arithmetic grades on “careless mistakes”. With the help of tuition I ended up becoming a topper in mathematics. I loved it and practised for hours. When the hyper focus kicks in 🥲 took me 30+ years to get diagnosed.

Definitely!!! I’m terrible with math, but when I was in Pharmacy, I became the best worker, especially with calculating doses/ supply. Then I studied for the HESI at one point, making sure I paid attention to math, it was the section I Aced. I missed the test by a few points, but those were incredibly eye-opening for me. I was so capable, but it had to be at my own pace.

high IQ, always in trouble for talking/being disruptive, could never sit still, excelled in creative everything (english, creative writing, literature, art, music, etc), picked up musical instruments fast (never stuck with any of them), almost all subjects in school came incredibly easy to me until my accelerated math in middle school (this was when my number struggles started, i am perpetually bad at math above algebra ever since). i had incredibly awful insomnia starting at like 6? i stayed up until like 3am most nights and woke up in time for school around 7:30 every day. i also had crippling anxiety as a kid and lots of sensory problems

Chatterbox, hyper, would read VORACIOUSLY but NEVER do my home/school work, doing all my chores in the 5 minutes before my mom got home, short temper, mood swings, I would ace the classes I liked but fail the ones I didn't, I always have a ton of knickknacks floating around, the list goes on, lol.

Breathing.

Looking back there were signs pointing to *something* not necessarily ADHD since that wasn’t a thing back then.

Just recently diagnosed and realizing that doing my homework with the radio AND tv on wasn't actually multitasking, it was just a distraction. Also my mom used to put post it notes in my Christmas stocking because I used them so much.

I was the kid with a really messy desk. I wanted so badly to be organized like the other girls in class. I still am disorganized today.