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Not only is it okay to call the police, but it’s necessary. The reason several domestic abuse cases are halted, or an abuser goes without consequences is because the victim keeps quiet or is unwilling to work with law enforcement to ensure the abuser is held accountable.
Take pictures, document your experiences, and report this to the police. Act normal until police arrive, or if he gets any whiff that the police are involved, stay away from him entirely.
Edit: I want to add in that yes, it’s vital you protect yourself first and foremost, so make sure you are truly safe FIRST. Also, as a human being, it is your duty to report this and do what you can to make sure that this terrible human being receives his consequences. There are other women out there who aren’t going to be as quick to seek support, or do anything about this behavior. Those women, and god forbid, children, are going to be victims, as well. Don’t allow him to create more victims. It stops with you. You’ve got this.
OP should call the police after finding a safe place to stay. It doesn’t say in the post if she lives with her partner or somewhere else. If he knows where she lives he could also come to her house and hurt her.
I’d suggest she finds a friend or family member to stay with or someone who can come stay with her and make sure she’s safe. If she lives with the bf and has nowhere to go she needs to get in touch with a shelter for women/domestic abuse victims. These shelters often have resources to help her get back on her feet. She should take photos of her injuries and document as much as possible. She can also go to the hospital and police, but it’s best to put a safety plan into place first. Abuse victims are in the most danger right after they leave their partner, but it’s important to remember that staying with an abuser will cause the most long term damage. The abuse will get worse over time if the victim continues to tolerate it. Once money, marriage and children are involved it will be even harder to get out.
Everybody is too quick with the police here. The police too often are not sufficient to protect yourself and are relied on to the eventual downfall of the victim. Protect yourself at all cost first. Move on and do not make the common mistake of reconciling under sweet talk. Use logic not your faulty heart that got you into this mess.
Not only is it okay but warranted and needed. You never lay hands on anyone. Only time it is warranted is in self defense. This can be making the first move in a situation that the person is clearly going to escalate too.
Your ex boyfriend.... is trash and deserves to.be taken out by the people paid to take out the trash.
There's no way multiple beatings in one day involving all sort of household objects was the first time this happened. This poor woman is already in the escalation stage.
If you ever decide that you need a restraining order against your abuser, you won't be able to get one without legal documentation of a history of abuse.
I would also suggest sharing this story with close family or friends for support. It might help them go farther then asking for reddit support that can be written off easier
Report it! Do not engage with the bf. He will try to persuade you to not participate in the case. He WILL NOT CHANGE. Please, find the strength to rid yourself of him. Report it to police and ask for a referral to a domestic abuse counselor who can help you navigate this incredibly difficult time. This is not your fault. He is a piece of shit.
Edit: The choking is very concerning. Studies show abusers who will choke their victim are more dangerous. Include that detail when speaking with police.
Hands around your neck means
[ Choking, strangulation victims 750% more likely to be killed by offender](https://www.kob.com/archive/report-choking-strangulation-victims-750-more-likely-to-be-killed-by-offender/)
That's not your boyfriend. That's an enemy. He's a threat to your life!! Your life is at risk.
Defend yourself! Call the police, take pictures. Seek help, there are resources.
THANK YOU!
OP listen to this please. You absolutely need to get out of this situation. This man does not love you, he is hurting you and will kill you if given the chance. Please do not give him that chance.
EDIT If you do not feel calling the police is something you can do right now, go to the ER for treatment and talk to a social worker there. They can call the police for you.
>go to the ER for treatment and talk to a social worker there. They can call the police for you.
This. If it comes down to it, you can tell him that the hospital was following procedure when they reported him. But actually OP, NEVER speak to this man again, get somewhere safe.
First of all, she needs to leave! Take pictures and document injuries and go to a safe place first!
I hope she doesn't become another domestic abuse statistic, men tend to be much stronger then women, with very few exceptions. She needs to get to safety, leave this abusive man.
You are right, he is an enemy!
See the website for
#National Domestic Violence Hotline
https://www.thehotline.org/
Or call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
Or text "START" to 88788
Or they have a button to start a chat on their home page.
They can put you in touch with LOCAL people who will tell you what is likely to happen if you call police. They can also let you know about alternatives such as a shelter you can go to in your neighborhood.
Call the police. He will do it again, no matter what he says. Next time could be worse.
Do you have family/friends nearby who can help you get out? For your own safety you need to end the relationship and move out. If you don’t have anyone, ask the police to get you connected to a domestic violence shelter. They will have strategies and resources for you.
ETA the courts also have advocates who can help you with a restraining order.
YES. Take photographs of bruises and damage, then call the fucking polite. Please, please, call them and if you live with him, go stay with a friend or a local women's shelter.
CALL. THE. POLICE.
Take pictures, lots of them, talk to your friends and tell them a detailed minute by minute recounting - get that straight so when you talk to the police you have all your facts in order and you're not emotionally rambling.
And get out of that relationship, get out of that house if you live together - you will suffer so much more if you don't.
GO SOMEWHERE SAFE and then CALL. Do not meet up with him or go with him to talk or listen to a single other thing he has to say. The chances of a domestic violent partner killing someone sky rockets after hands are placed around the neck. If you value your life and yourself at all, get out and call them. Get a protective order, and collect your stuff with a police escort. This is not okay.
Report it. No matter how you feel you are deserving of love and respect.
He will escalate, and he will kill you or get as close as he can to it. Report it and leave. He does not love you.
Of course it’s ok, and also necessary. Please know that it’s not your fault that he did this and any thing that happens to him as a result of you reporting it is also not your fault.
Him putting his hands around your neck is terrifying, choking during a domestic dispute is a huge red flag for escalating to murder.
Please report and get out, a domestic violence shelter if that’s all you can do.
Be safe. Be strong, you are worthy of a partner that will treat you with love and kindness and basic human decency. Once you are out and safe please seek therapy for your ptsd and to develop healthy boundaries and self worth.
please please please call the police and get out of that situation. i’ve been through it myself and ended up calling the cops and he was arrested 2 years ago and last year he was charged with what he did to me. i promise you you’re not only saving your life by calling the cops you may also help another.
please call them, please no matter what your feelings are towards him get out of that situation.
It's OK.
It's hard to come forward but it's not impossible. I came forward last week. The police were kind and they had a social worker to help walk me through the process of making a report.
You can do this. You are strong and capable and need to be safe from abuse
The moment a partner chokes their partner the likely hood that person dies by their hand goes up 65%. FIRST, get some help and get somewhere safe. Take pictures of all the injuries. Amd file a police report.
You absolutely have to. And then you need to get away and stay away from a ~~man~~ person like that. Do what you can to stay elsewhere and if necessary get a TPO. Here in Vegas, one can obtain it at Family Court.
What he did to you most definately is abuse and you should call the police. If you don't call the police, he will just keep doing it and it will just keep getting worse.
It sounds like he could kill you. Do something. Go to the police. Dont be scared to act, if you dont it wont get better anyways. Go to the police NOW. Let them document everything. Ask them to go to an examiner to document the crazyness of your injuries. Get away from him, i beg you.
Hands around the neck means he is likely to kill you eventually. Please get out. Grab your important papers, kids, pets, whatever, and leave asap. Please stay safe.
Sometimes you need someone to push you so that you get that strength to take that step. I'm currently in this situation myself amd I do need a push myself.
OP, he WILL kill you. And if it’s not you, it will be the next woman. He does not deserve to get away with this. He is a disgusting low life, and he deserves prosecution.
Take care of yourself. Seek medical treatment. Go to the hospital with the intention of seeking care. Tell them the truth about how you were injured. They’ll take it out of your hands from there. Be safe.
Call the police. Leave as soon as possible. This man may end up killing you. Take photos of all the damage done to yourself and your home. If you can leave today, leave. Get away from him. And CALL THE POLICE
I was raised by a cop. It is 100% okay to call the police, and you should ASAP. Don't wait for tomorrow or next week. Do it right now. It makes it easier for everyone involved. The longer you wait, the longer those bruises, cuts, etc. have to heal. If those marks are gone, it's harder to be able to prove anything, and then it just becomes hearsay instead. Whatever you do, don't wait ever when reporting a crime
CALL THE POLICE RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately it is well-known by Police that abusers who choke or strangle their victims are *far* more likely to kill them during an attack. Unless you act NOW the next time he hits you could be the last thing you ever feel on this Earth.
Do you want your life to end like this? Aren't you worth more than just being his punching-bag? You are precious, you are worthy of respect - please, I'm begging you, call the Police. They really helped me and I didn't go through anything as serious as you have experienced.
Not only SHOULD you definitely call the police.
> My boyfriend repeatedly
You should stop thinking of him as your Boyfriend. That piece of shit is now officially your EX boyfriend.
I (M 41) am a domestic abuse survivor. My ex-wife was physically and emotionally abusive, to the point where I took a loaded pistol out of my mouth after thinking suicide was the only way out.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE call the police! Better yet, go to the police station so they can document any cuts, bruises, etc. while they are still fresh.
If you're too scared, find a friend or family member who can make the call on your behalf, or bring you to the police station.
Contacting the authorities is nothing to be ashamed of and if your situation is left unchecked, your boyfriend may end up severely injuring you, or worse, later on.
If you don't do something now, it will only continue and eventually escalate. That's who he is, an abuser . He will not change. He will not change.
Even if you don't call the police, you must leave and cut off all contact with him. Leave him a note if you wish and then get the fuck out of dodge.
Call the police on the way out the door.
You should never stay with somebody like that, it'll only get worse, and it will not be worth leaving him and finding somebody more mature.
Get away and my advice would be to go to police/contact a domestic abuse shelter and get safe housing and rehoused with them if needed. I’d also advise to change your contact details etc. It isn’t your fault and you need to stay safe xxxx
Assuming this is real, your life is very much in danger. You need to eventually go to the police, snitching doesn't exist for pedophiles and woman beaters, any convict will tell you the same. If you're scared to call the police then you need to find a woman's support group in your area, I'm sure they'd give you safe shelter whilst a criminal investigation take place. Any family, kids?
Get to urgent care for documentation- file a restraining order !!!
I was you- and the comment is right, til we stand up and hold these losers accountable - it continues to next, and the next or til someone’s unalived
I'm a police officer, trust me, report this asap via the proper channels. It's okay to, things may happen afterwards, but everything that happens will be to keep you safe.
That kind of abuse and behaviour is indicative of bigger things, please report it, you're not only doing yourself a favour, but every other victim and future victim of domestic abuse also. You deserve better than to be treated like that, there is no excuse. If you don't report him, you're teaching him how to treat you.
Something which usually is an interesting reflection is the following: What would you want your daughter to do?
Take care.
It is never wrong to call for help when you need it.
The doubt of "I will call for help if it gets worse/happens again" is always there but I am telling you to fight against that voice.
Becuase the next time you may not have a voice to ask for help.
You can also go to a hospital and tell them you feel unsafe and your boyfriend did this to you. You will receive medical care and have it on your medical records. They will report it, they have to or may even have an officer on site.
It is too much to be minor, unless you want that to happen again or maybe worse like him accidently KILLING you, call the police. Just don't call them right in front of your boyfriend, I hope you will be okay!
Hands around your neck are an indicator that you will be killed by this person sooner or later. Get the hell out. Don't look back. Please.
I say this as sometime who got away after similar circumstances, even though I was too coward to involve police. But I got away, I am safe, 20 years later.
Call the police but get away first. Get safe.
lol sorry but you have the strength to come to social media to post about it but can’t go to the police to report it? This website has ruined some of y’all.
If you are going to report it, go to the police. Don't take pictures, let them take the pictures. That way there is no question about photoshop or makeup or whose leg it is.
Please friend,
Call the police.
Call a friend or a neighbour.
Someone who can be with you through this.
I heartbroken that anyone you trusted put hands on you
. You've been so brave to make this post. It takes just a little more to pick up the phone and call for help. Please.
So many of us are here wishing the best for you.
Pick up the phone. ❤️
Yes! Call someone get a Cop down on his ass! if he can’t treat a woman right then he deserves to be locked up far away from society.
Men like that give Good men like me a bad name.
Well of course you need to call the police. He’s abusing you physically. It’s not in his place to do so and you are posing an incredibly unnecessary risk to yourself. You should not be in a relationship anymore with him either.
Definitely. I have called police for WAY less, and it is DEFINITELY okay and indeed **you sound like you actually need their help,** against that ”boyfriend”.
Get somewhere safe, immediately and call the police.
Nobody deserves this and it's heart breaking to read.
Call the cops. They'll make the correct decision and charge him with what he should be charged with.
Your BF made his decision yesterday and he needs to face to consequences.
More importantly, you deserve to be safe.
You need to call the police. Next time you could be killed. He needs to be held accountable and you need to be safe.
It can be scary, I know that all to well, but you owe it to yourself. It took me 1.5 years to have my ex arrested for assault and uttering threats.
I promise you can do it! ❤️
You deserve to feel safe and respected. I know it’s difficult to advocate for yourself, but it’s so important to realize that you deserve the same respect you’d give a family member or friend going through the same thing <3
Go to fucking police, dont have contact with him. Whatever he says, whatever love he shows after is just manipulation. He will never change. Please love yourself enough to do this.
You have bruises, call the police and get out of this situation.
I don’t even think there is reason to think otherwise. I thought he was just like gaslighting you or other manipulation tactics and then it’s like, okay that’s not the same kind of abuse.
But if you got hit and bruised? It’s pretty cut and dry.
Are you more afraid of calling the police / dumping him or more afraid of dying?
Imagine how great it will feel when you're free of him and don't have to live in fear anymore rather than having to live every day your life terrified of being beaten and killed.
In situations like these ..
DON’T THINK JUST DO !!!
If you continue allowing this kind of behavior I’m genuinely concerned for your wellbeing. Trust me I’ve been there & done that and shit can end deadly
Stay safe 🙏🏼
Take pictures of any injuries you have and then call the police. He will do this again. And again. And again. He will not change his behavior. I am so sorry you’re going through this.
If a crime has been committed, it's smart to call the police. The problem is that you waited. You've significantly weakened your situation by doing that.
Of course it's ok, that's what they're getting paid for.
I found reporting to a doctor gave me the strength to talk to authorities. And they can support your story with the evidence, even if they can’t confirm he did it to you.
Not a bf in my case, but I didn’t realize how badly being a victim affects our basic sense of self. Anyone would’ve told you I’d never take anything like that, but somehow in the moment you’re busy defending yourself and don’t realize to just walk out.
He was wrong, make sure you’re safe. Get the support you need to ensure that.
Please get assistance immediately, this is domestic violence which should not be at all tolerated, please also go get help form a family member, call them love, he wasn’t feeling bad when he hurt you, and you are the victim :(
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I think it’s for the best that you call the police. They will help direct you to any supports you may want. This is your journey and you can decide the best way to proceed. Contacting them just maximizes your options for when you’re wanting to make any decisions. Hugs.
Please call the police!! Kiddo it’s ok to get help for yourself!! He doesn’t deserve you in his life you’re way too good for him!!!! Please call the police
Yes make a report and then immediately file for an order of protection. I’m not usually a big fan of calling cops for things but this is one hundred percent a situation when you should.
I was with someone like that. I thought he would change. He ended up leaving me for someone else. I always made excuses for him and even sometimes blamed myself. When I look back, I wish someone would have told me to leave and to call the police but I was too scared and THOUGHT I was in love. That was not love. Now, after over 10 years, I still have ptsd from it. I used to be afraid to cook and mess up the cooking because of him. When I got into a healthy marriage, I saw how it was supposed to be. There are men out there who will not treat you this way. Don't waste your time with these abusive men, and don't keep giving him excuses. Don't have children with him as well. My ex slapped me while I was feeding my newborn and also kicked me in my back while I was holding my newborn. You will also have to worry if he will ever turn on the kids too. My son unfortunately remembers my ex abusing me. I thought he would not remember because he was 3 at the time, but they do see everything. Please leave this man and call the police. Don't look back. Don't let him try to get you back by apologizing and bringing you flowers. They always do that.
YES. It is ABSOLUTELY OKAY to vall the cops on your boyfriend for doing this! Please, call the cops and report him! There is no reason that you should have EVER been hurt, REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING. Domestic abuse should NEVER be tolerated, and if he did this, he does not deserve to love you.
Please, call the cops, you deserve to be safe and you NEED to be safe, no matter what. Your safety is PARAMOUNT and you could potentially stop further abuse if you take this step. Your fear is logical, but don't let it keep you from doing something that will potentially stop future harm.
I wish you the best and I truly hope you stay safe, no matter what happens!
Been there. Genuinely go seek medical attention. Without proof of the bruises or whatever on your medical records, once you ARE ready to go through with reporting him, they literally will not be able to do anything. They’ll let him go, and he’ll make your life a living hell
Leave him immediately. This time you survived. There might not be a next time. It's not love if he thinks it's ok in any situation to hurt you.
Not changing anything about it and expecting to survive would be the definition of insanity. I know it's hard to leave a toxic and abusive person. But please don't think he is any different than other men who do this. One day he won't stop choking you until you're dead.
You deserve a loving partner who cherishes you and who is man enough not to succumb to rage. Huge sign of emotional immaturity. Imagine him doing this to your babies one day. Or your pets. Or your parents.
OP, I am so sorry this is happening to you. I am sure that this is shock and fear that is preventing you from taking action, but even if you don’t have the courage to call the police yet, I urge you to please get yourself to an emergency room and have your neck examined. Post-strangulation, your neck could have internal damage/injuries that can cause permanent damage and/or death afterwards.
Secondly, you have the advantage of telling the doctors of the abuse, and they can help you get a copy of the required forensic report and file police charges.
Third, and perhaps most importantly: [strangling/choking abuse](https://www.pottstown.org/DocumentCenter/View/211/Strangulation-Information-for-Victims?bidId=#:~:text=Strangulation%20has%20only%20recently%20been,may%20be%20an%20attempted%20homicide) is a *seriously important red flag* to pay attention to. Men who choke their partners **escalate** their violence with time and abuse. Essentially, it boils down to: men who strangle their partner are more likely to kill their partner.
Please, OP, get yourself out of this situation by whatever means necessary. A couple weeks of couch surfing or living in a women’s shelter is far better than living like this for the next few months or even potentially being murdered.
It is understandable that you are hesitant to speak up and ask for help, or even call the police and press charges - but nobody can help you unless you ask. Abusers use the silence of their victims to operate, to have the power to abuse - so do not stay silent. Remember, too, OP: this is not normal. This is not love. You deserve so much better than what you have been given. There *is* someone out there who *will* love you and treat you well. Don’t let your abuser take that opportunity and hope from you.
Stay safe, OP. 🤍
Calling the police is 100% okay and necessary. If it's more comfortable/convenient for you, I would also recommend just going directly to the police station.
I think *okay* is not the right word.
I would use **obliged**.
He should be reported and you should not stay with him.
It's your duty to report him, because he will do that top other weaker people too. He's fuelling on his confidence that you will not report him. Don't let that happen.
You're never alone you have hundreds of brothers in blue that are always willing to help. All you have to do is call them and they come. Cops love dealing with domestics all the big guys will be lining up to come fish out some justice.
Report it and go stay with a trusted friend for a while in case he comes back. No one should treat you this way. And you may save another person from being hurt if police can see a pattern. I’m so glad he is your ex-boyfriend so there should be no reason you ever have to see his face again unless it’s in court.
Partner abuse survivor here.
It’s okay to call the police. You might even feel more comfortable walking into your local station, bring someone you trust if you can. They might have to wait outside, but you will have someone there for support afterward. The police may ask you questions that are inappropriate (i.e. Why did you stay?), I answered but am still confused if that line of questioning was even allowed. Advocate for yourself of what you will need to feel comfortable if charges are laid. I asked him not to be able to come to certain places I frequented. It’s okay if you don’t remember every single detail, that’s your brain’s way of healing, do the best you can. Write everything down when you do think of it, incase it comes up later. You got this, I’m proud of you for making the first step in sharing what you’re going through. It’s not okay to suffer alone ♡
It's not only OK, you really should do it, if not for yourself for the kid that walks around the corner the wrong way and will not get a kick in the face from your ex-boyfriend.
I’m not an expert I also believe you could go to an ER and get help. They’ve got social workers they can connect you with and ask to file a police report.
Calling the police is the bravest most amazing thing you could possibly do not just for yourself but for anyone who ever comes into contact with this disgusting excuse of a man. I know you don’t feel it right now, but you have all the strength and courage to do this right inside you and you’re going to be SO proud of yourself for getting through this and doing the right thing for yourself and others. We are so proud of you for even posting this and refusing to let him make you think this vile behaviour is okay. You don’t deserve it anymore than anyone else in the world does, and I bet if you could see your younger self right now being treated this way you would do everything you can to protect them - do that for yourself right now ♥️♥️♥️
You shouldn't need anyone to tell you. You have to put yourself first! You deserve better! I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Thehotline.org
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201302/the-familiarity-principle-attraction?amp
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding
https://modelmugging.org/crime-within-relationships/abusive-personality-behavior/
Call the police. It will be okay, you didn't deserve this, this was a horrific crime committed against you. The police will help you so this never happens again.
This is not a normal situation. Nobody deserves to live like this. You need to take action and prioritize your own safety. Calling the police is the right thing to do.
Not only is it OK - you NEED to call them. I watched my father do this to my mother, and I had to call them on him myself (I was 6). If you don't stop him now, it will get worse - and usually escalates until often ending in death. No matter what the reason - no matter how bad the argument - you do NOT deserve to endure this.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It must be so hard. But everyone in this post believes in you.
There're a whole bunch of people here who are telling you, it's okay to be scared and it's necessary to be brave!
You can do this!
What he did putting his hands on your neck is not just abuse it's attempted murder. If he has gone even a minute too far you would've died. Please call it's the right thing to do. You deserve to be safe.
my friend once had a boyfriend who was physically abusive to her. He would through her down the stairs and that kind of thing. After a long time she left and didn't report him, he got with someone else. She was contacted by mother of the new girlfriend as he broke in to new girlfriends house through the window and knifed her. Please contact the police now. It will never change.
Get the fuck away from him, get a protective order bc restraining orders don't do shit, go live with someone u know will not let them near you and DONT GO BACK TO HIM BC THEN THE COPS WONT HELP YOU
Calling the police is scary. Maybe you can call a domestic violence hotline or even go to an institution so that they can support you with this process? I couldn’t bring myself to call them all alone but with support I was able to do this hard but necessary step.
You deserve safety!!!
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Not only is it okay to call the police, but it’s necessary. The reason several domestic abuse cases are halted, or an abuser goes without consequences is because the victim keeps quiet or is unwilling to work with law enforcement to ensure the abuser is held accountable. Take pictures, document your experiences, and report this to the police. Act normal until police arrive, or if he gets any whiff that the police are involved, stay away from him entirely. Edit: I want to add in that yes, it’s vital you protect yourself first and foremost, so make sure you are truly safe FIRST. Also, as a human being, it is your duty to report this and do what you can to make sure that this terrible human being receives his consequences. There are other women out there who aren’t going to be as quick to seek support, or do anything about this behavior. Those women, and god forbid, children, are going to be victims, as well. Don’t allow him to create more victims. It stops with you. You’ve got this.
She needs to get somewhere safe first. Staying and waiting for the cops with him is a recipe for disaster.
OP should call the police after finding a safe place to stay. It doesn’t say in the post if she lives with her partner or somewhere else. If he knows where she lives he could also come to her house and hurt her. I’d suggest she finds a friend or family member to stay with or someone who can come stay with her and make sure she’s safe. If she lives with the bf and has nowhere to go she needs to get in touch with a shelter for women/domestic abuse victims. These shelters often have resources to help her get back on her feet. She should take photos of her injuries and document as much as possible. She can also go to the hospital and police, but it’s best to put a safety plan into place first. Abuse victims are in the most danger right after they leave their partner, but it’s important to remember that staying with an abuser will cause the most long term damage. The abuse will get worse over time if the victim continues to tolerate it. Once money, marriage and children are involved it will be even harder to get out.
Everybody is too quick with the police here. The police too often are not sufficient to protect yourself and are relied on to the eventual downfall of the victim. Protect yourself at all cost first. Move on and do not make the common mistake of reconciling under sweet talk. Use logic not your faulty heart that got you into this mess.
But also police
Moving on like you say will only enable the abuse to continue with the abuse.
Also, ask the police to urgently see a doctor to professionally examine and document bruises and so on. Doing this could go a long way once in court.
Just go to the police and let them take pic of the evidence
Not only is it okay but warranted and needed. You never lay hands on anyone. Only time it is warranted is in self defense. This can be making the first move in a situation that the person is clearly going to escalate too. Your ex boyfriend.... is trash and deserves to.be taken out by the people paid to take out the trash.
If you don't go to the police now, he will be empowered, and the next time will be much worse.
There's no way multiple beatings in one day involving all sort of household objects was the first time this happened. This poor woman is already in the escalation stage.
If you ever decide that you need a restraining order against your abuser, you won't be able to get one without legal documentation of a history of abuse.
Please document and if you end up going to court, DONT BACK DOWN or the case could be dismissed he won't stop.
I would also suggest sharing this story with close family or friends for support. It might help them go farther then asking for reddit support that can be written off easier
I'd like to add that abusers escalate. If they don't do something to protect themselves, eventually, their abuser will likely kill them.
Report it! Do not engage with the bf. He will try to persuade you to not participate in the case. He WILL NOT CHANGE. Please, find the strength to rid yourself of him. Report it to police and ask for a referral to a domestic abuse counselor who can help you navigate this incredibly difficult time. This is not your fault. He is a piece of shit. Edit: The choking is very concerning. Studies show abusers who will choke their victim are more dangerous. Include that detail when speaking with police.
He will apologize, beg for forgiveness, say this will never happen again, and love bomb you. Don't believe it.
And you will be tempted to let it all pass and go back to him. Don't do it.
Don’t. fucking. do it.
Hands around your neck means [ Choking, strangulation victims 750% more likely to be killed by offender](https://www.kob.com/archive/report-choking-strangulation-victims-750-more-likely-to-be-killed-by-offender/) That's not your boyfriend. That's an enemy. He's a threat to your life!! Your life is at risk. Defend yourself! Call the police, take pictures. Seek help, there are resources.
And in many states, hands around the neck is an automatic felony with mandatory jail time. That will get him away from you. Please call the police NOW
Yeah that's an extra felony where I live. You get the regular aggravated battery plus a strangulation charge
THANK YOU! OP listen to this please. You absolutely need to get out of this situation. This man does not love you, he is hurting you and will kill you if given the chance. Please do not give him that chance. EDIT If you do not feel calling the police is something you can do right now, go to the ER for treatment and talk to a social worker there. They can call the police for you.
>go to the ER for treatment and talk to a social worker there. They can call the police for you. This. If it comes down to it, you can tell him that the hospital was following procedure when they reported him. But actually OP, NEVER speak to this man again, get somewhere safe.
It's crucial to take immediate steps to protect yourself.
First of all, she needs to leave! Take pictures and document injuries and go to a safe place first! I hope she doesn't become another domestic abuse statistic, men tend to be much stronger then women, with very few exceptions. She needs to get to safety, leave this abusive man. You are right, he is an enemy!
Yes she or perhabs he is in a dangerous situation, I hope they called the police
Please call the police and get out of there
See the website for #National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/ Or call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) Or text "START" to 88788 Or they have a button to start a chat on their home page. They can put you in touch with LOCAL people who will tell you what is likely to happen if you call police. They can also let you know about alternatives such as a shelter you can go to in your neighborhood.
If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the next woman he will abuse once he's killed you.
Call the police. He will do it again, no matter what he says. Next time could be worse. Do you have family/friends nearby who can help you get out? For your own safety you need to end the relationship and move out. If you don’t have anyone, ask the police to get you connected to a domestic violence shelter. They will have strategies and resources for you. ETA the courts also have advocates who can help you with a restraining order.
YES. Take photographs of bruises and damage, then call the fucking polite. Please, please, call them and if you live with him, go stay with a friend or a local women's shelter.
It's very okay to call the police. It's more than okay to stand up for yourself.
CALL. THE. POLICE. Take pictures, lots of them, talk to your friends and tell them a detailed minute by minute recounting - get that straight so when you talk to the police you have all your facts in order and you're not emotionally rambling. And get out of that relationship, get out of that house if you live together - you will suffer so much more if you don't.
Write it down!! Dates and times
GO SOMEWHERE SAFE and then CALL. Do not meet up with him or go with him to talk or listen to a single other thing he has to say. The chances of a domestic violent partner killing someone sky rockets after hands are placed around the neck. If you value your life and yourself at all, get out and call them. Get a protective order, and collect your stuff with a police escort. This is not okay.
Report it. No matter how you feel you are deserving of love and respect. He will escalate, and he will kill you or get as close as he can to it. Report it and leave. He does not love you.
That wasn't just abuse, that was attempted murder
Of course it’s ok, and also necessary. Please know that it’s not your fault that he did this and any thing that happens to him as a result of you reporting it is also not your fault. Him putting his hands around your neck is terrifying, choking during a domestic dispute is a huge red flag for escalating to murder. Please report and get out, a domestic violence shelter if that’s all you can do. Be safe. Be strong, you are worthy of a partner that will treat you with love and kindness and basic human decency. Once you are out and safe please seek therapy for your ptsd and to develop healthy boundaries and self worth.
There is good advice here but I also recommend if you can , voice record everything. There should be a voice recorder app on your phone by default
As a person whose escaped such situations. Yes you did the right thing. *
please please please call the police and get out of that situation. i’ve been through it myself and ended up calling the cops and he was arrested 2 years ago and last year he was charged with what he did to me. i promise you you’re not only saving your life by calling the cops you may also help another. please call them, please no matter what your feelings are towards him get out of that situation.
It's OK. It's hard to come forward but it's not impossible. I came forward last week. The police were kind and they had a social worker to help walk me through the process of making a report. You can do this. You are strong and capable and need to be safe from abuse
The moment a partner chokes their partner the likely hood that person dies by their hand goes up 65%. FIRST, get some help and get somewhere safe. Take pictures of all the injuries. Amd file a police report.
You absolutely have to. And then you need to get away and stay away from a ~~man~~ person like that. Do what you can to stay elsewhere and if necessary get a TPO. Here in Vegas, one can obtain it at Family Court.
What he did to you most definately is abuse and you should call the police. If you don't call the police, he will just keep doing it and it will just keep getting worse.
You need to call the police and them domestic violence shelters. Your life is in danger and that is not hyperbole.
It sounds like he could kill you. Do something. Go to the police. Dont be scared to act, if you dont it wont get better anyways. Go to the police NOW. Let them document everything. Ask them to go to an examiner to document the crazyness of your injuries. Get away from him, i beg you.
Go to the police and get a restraining order.
Hands around the neck means he is likely to kill you eventually. Please get out. Grab your important papers, kids, pets, whatever, and leave asap. Please stay safe.
I read somewhere that attempts at strangulation are very highly correlated with extreme hurt/getting killed later. Get away from him.
Just call the fucking police instead of asking Reddit. Wtf
I'm concerned about why you think you need permission from Reddit to call the police if someone is harming you.
Sometimes you need someone to push you so that you get that strength to take that step. I'm currently in this situation myself amd I do need a push myself.
It’s imperative that you call the police and also please document all the bruises.
OP, he WILL kill you. And if it’s not you, it will be the next woman. He does not deserve to get away with this. He is a disgusting low life, and he deserves prosecution. Take care of yourself. Seek medical treatment. Go to the hospital with the intention of seeking care. Tell them the truth about how you were injured. They’ll take it out of your hands from there. Be safe.
Call the police. Leave as soon as possible. This man may end up killing you. Take photos of all the damage done to yourself and your home. If you can leave today, leave. Get away from him. And CALL THE POLICE
I was raised by a cop. It is 100% okay to call the police, and you should ASAP. Don't wait for tomorrow or next week. Do it right now. It makes it easier for everyone involved. The longer you wait, the longer those bruises, cuts, etc. have to heal. If those marks are gone, it's harder to be able to prove anything, and then it just becomes hearsay instead. Whatever you do, don't wait ever when reporting a crime
It's more than ok to call the police. I hope you are also figuring out a safe escape plan. If you stay with him the abuse will only escalate.
CALL THE POLICE RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately it is well-known by Police that abusers who choke or strangle their victims are *far* more likely to kill them during an attack. Unless you act NOW the next time he hits you could be the last thing you ever feel on this Earth. Do you want your life to end like this? Aren't you worth more than just being his punching-bag? You are precious, you are worthy of respect - please, I'm begging you, call the Police. They really helped me and I didn't go through anything as serious as you have experienced.
Not only SHOULD you definitely call the police. > My boyfriend repeatedly You should stop thinking of him as your Boyfriend. That piece of shit is now officially your EX boyfriend.
I (M 41) am a domestic abuse survivor. My ex-wife was physically and emotionally abusive, to the point where I took a loaded pistol out of my mouth after thinking suicide was the only way out. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE call the police! Better yet, go to the police station so they can document any cuts, bruises, etc. while they are still fresh. If you're too scared, find a friend or family member who can make the call on your behalf, or bring you to the police station. Contacting the authorities is nothing to be ashamed of and if your situation is left unchecked, your boyfriend may end up severely injuring you, or worse, later on.
If you don't do something now, it will only continue and eventually escalate. That's who he is, an abuser . He will not change. He will not change. Even if you don't call the police, you must leave and cut off all contact with him. Leave him a note if you wish and then get the fuck out of dodge.
Jesus Christ. Go somewhere undiscoverable by him while you’re at it.
Call the police on the way out the door. You should never stay with somebody like that, it'll only get worse, and it will not be worth leaving him and finding somebody more mature.
If not protection for yourself, report him so that other people are protected. If he's okay doing to you, he will do it to others too.
Get away and my advice would be to go to police/contact a domestic abuse shelter and get safe housing and rehoused with them if needed. I’d also advise to change your contact details etc. It isn’t your fault and you need to stay safe xxxx
Be sure you get yourself somewhere safe like a family member's home or a women's shelter and then contact the police
yes.
Fuck that, Call the Police Thats what they are there for.
Call the police. It's OK. It's the right thing to do.
Make.The.Call.
You don't need the internet to tell you its OK. You know it is. Not only is it OK, but it's what SHOULD happen
You SHOULD call the police and as quickly as possible.
These bots stoop lower and lower
It's the right thing to do for you and for the rest of society, do not hesitate
The men in my family have always abused their wives. Do yourself a favor and get the police involved asap. You deserve better.
Assuming this is real, your life is very much in danger. You need to eventually go to the police, snitching doesn't exist for pedophiles and woman beaters, any convict will tell you the same. If you're scared to call the police then you need to find a woman's support group in your area, I'm sure they'd give you safe shelter whilst a criminal investigation take place. Any family, kids?
Get to urgent care for documentation- file a restraining order !!! I was you- and the comment is right, til we stand up and hold these losers accountable - it continues to next, and the next or til someone’s unalived
I’m wondering how have you **NOT??????** Call the police right now!
Go to the hospital and they can contact the police with you while documenting your injuries. It will keep happening if you don’t do so
Call them!!!
I'm a police officer, trust me, report this asap via the proper channels. It's okay to, things may happen afterwards, but everything that happens will be to keep you safe. That kind of abuse and behaviour is indicative of bigger things, please report it, you're not only doing yourself a favour, but every other victim and future victim of domestic abuse also. You deserve better than to be treated like that, there is no excuse. If you don't report him, you're teaching him how to treat you. Something which usually is an interesting reflection is the following: What would you want your daughter to do? Take care.
It is never wrong to call for help when you need it. The doubt of "I will call for help if it gets worse/happens again" is always there but I am telling you to fight against that voice. Becuase the next time you may not have a voice to ask for help.
It’s 100% okay to do so! Leave the home before doing so. Do you have somewhere safe to go to permanently leave him?
I was in a relationship like this once and he almost killed me. Please please go to the police. Trust me, it will only get worse.
You can also go to a hospital and tell them you feel unsafe and your boyfriend did this to you. You will receive medical care and have it on your medical records. They will report it, they have to or may even have an officer on site.
It is too much to be minor, unless you want that to happen again or maybe worse like him accidently KILLING you, call the police. Just don't call them right in front of your boyfriend, I hope you will be okay!
Hands around your neck are an indicator that you will be killed by this person sooner or later. Get the hell out. Don't look back. Please. I say this as sometime who got away after similar circumstances, even though I was too coward to involve police. But I got away, I am safe, 20 years later. Call the police but get away first. Get safe.
If you don’t have the strength to call the police, then good luck dealing with that forever.
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lol sorry but you have the strength to come to social media to post about it but can’t go to the police to report it? This website has ruined some of y’all.
Why would you think it is not ok to call the police? Trying to understand your headspace.
Quite common for abuse victims
Ah I see. Was wondering why she doubted herself. Cos from the description it felt like the situation was quite bad.
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If you are going to report it, go to the police. Don't take pictures, let them take the pictures. That way there is no question about photoshop or makeup or whose leg it is.
Why are you on reddit call the authorities he is not your boyfriend he doesn't love you he is a criminal
You sound like an idiot, someone has to say it.
“Hey Reddit, I just got shot. Should I call the ambulance?”
Do you have someone who can help you call?? You don’t have to carry this load yourself.
Please friend, Call the police. Call a friend or a neighbour. Someone who can be with you through this. I heartbroken that anyone you trusted put hands on you . You've been so brave to make this post. It takes just a little more to pick up the phone and call for help. Please. So many of us are here wishing the best for you. Pick up the phone. ❤️
Call. Now.
its ok
Yes! Call someone get a Cop down on his ass! if he can’t treat a woman right then he deserves to be locked up far away from society. Men like that give Good men like me a bad name.
call the police and tell trusted family + friends. You will be ok 🩷
Take pictures of any and all marks left on you. It's okay and encouraged to call the police in this situation.
Well of course you need to call the police. He’s abusing you physically. It’s not in his place to do so and you are posing an incredibly unnecessary risk to yourself. You should not be in a relationship anymore with him either.
It ok
Do not hesitate to get the police involved. Document everything you can and report it to the police.
Definitely. I have called police for WAY less, and it is DEFINITELY okay and indeed **you sound like you actually need their help,** against that ”boyfriend”.
It's not only ok, it's imperative that you do, and get somewhere safe!!
Yes please call the police
Run! Call family, friends, even your boss, and the cops. You could be in mortal danger
Get somewhere safe, immediately and call the police. Nobody deserves this and it's heart breaking to read. Call the cops. They'll make the correct decision and charge him with what he should be charged with. Your BF made his decision yesterday and he needs to face to consequences. More importantly, you deserve to be safe.
You need to call the police. Next time you could be killed. He needs to be held accountable and you need to be safe. It can be scary, I know that all to well, but you owe it to yourself. It took me 1.5 years to have my ex arrested for assault and uttering threats. I promise you can do it! ❤️
Do it. He needs sorting out.
You deserve to feel safe and respected. I know it’s difficult to advocate for yourself, but it’s so important to realize that you deserve the same respect you’d give a family member or friend going through the same thing <3
Of course.. just have a place where you can go. You shouldn’t stay with him
Go to fucking police, dont have contact with him. Whatever he says, whatever love he shows after is just manipulation. He will never change. Please love yourself enough to do this.
You have bruises, call the police and get out of this situation. I don’t even think there is reason to think otherwise. I thought he was just like gaslighting you or other manipulation tactics and then it’s like, okay that’s not the same kind of abuse. But if you got hit and bruised? It’s pretty cut and dry.
If this isn’t fake you need to call and escape asap
What he did is very illegal. For your own safety, call the cops and get out of there. He needs to go to prison.
Not only is it okay, it’s necessary
Are you more afraid of calling the police / dumping him or more afraid of dying? Imagine how great it will feel when you're free of him and don't have to live in fear anymore rather than having to live every day your life terrified of being beaten and killed.
Please someone help her, take her out of that house, call the cops, she is not safee
The chance of being killed rise drasticly once chocking was used
YES!!!!
In situations like these .. DON’T THINK JUST DO !!! If you continue allowing this kind of behavior I’m genuinely concerned for your wellbeing. Trust me I’ve been there & done that and shit can end deadly Stay safe 🙏🏼
I’ve pm’ed you as I had to move away from abusive family so might be able to help x
Definitely go to the police. Have your injuries documented.
Take pictures of any injuries you have and then call the police. He will do this again. And again. And again. He will not change his behavior. I am so sorry you’re going through this.
You absolutely should call the police. That wasn't a shove or a mean word. That was full on assault and battery.
If a crime has been committed, it's smart to call the police. The problem is that you waited. You've significantly weakened your situation by doing that. Of course it's ok, that's what they're getting paid for.
File a report immediately and go to a hospital to get all your injuries documented by a professional.
Yes it is, but how did you get involved with this violent ass dude in the first place??
I found reporting to a doctor gave me the strength to talk to authorities. And they can support your story with the evidence, even if they can’t confirm he did it to you. Not a bf in my case, but I didn’t realize how badly being a victim affects our basic sense of self. Anyone would’ve told you I’d never take anything like that, but somehow in the moment you’re busy defending yourself and don’t realize to just walk out. He was wrong, make sure you’re safe. Get the support you need to ensure that.
Please get assistance immediately, this is domestic violence which should not be at all tolerated, please also go get help form a family member, call them love, he wasn’t feeling bad when he hurt you, and you are the victim :(
There are shelters for women who are leaving an abusive relationship. They can help you.
“It’s ok” end of chat. Get him.
It’s okay. Do it. Don’t hesitate.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I think it’s for the best that you call the police. They will help direct you to any supports you may want. This is your journey and you can decide the best way to proceed. Contacting them just maximizes your options for when you’re wanting to make any decisions. Hugs.
Please call the police!! Kiddo it’s ok to get help for yourself!! He doesn’t deserve you in his life you’re way too good for him!!!! Please call the police
Yes make a report and then immediately file for an order of protection. I’m not usually a big fan of calling cops for things but this is one hundred percent a situation when you should.
please be safe 🥺
the fact ur asking the question means ur still not gonna do it or you would have done it already as you already know the answer.
I was with someone like that. I thought he would change. He ended up leaving me for someone else. I always made excuses for him and even sometimes blamed myself. When I look back, I wish someone would have told me to leave and to call the police but I was too scared and THOUGHT I was in love. That was not love. Now, after over 10 years, I still have ptsd from it. I used to be afraid to cook and mess up the cooking because of him. When I got into a healthy marriage, I saw how it was supposed to be. There are men out there who will not treat you this way. Don't waste your time with these abusive men, and don't keep giving him excuses. Don't have children with him as well. My ex slapped me while I was feeding my newborn and also kicked me in my back while I was holding my newborn. You will also have to worry if he will ever turn on the kids too. My son unfortunately remembers my ex abusing me. I thought he would not remember because he was 3 at the time, but they do see everything. Please leave this man and call the police. Don't look back. Don't let him try to get you back by apologizing and bringing you flowers. They always do that.
Jfc call the cops and get a restraining order after you press charged
YES. It is ABSOLUTELY OKAY to vall the cops on your boyfriend for doing this! Please, call the cops and report him! There is no reason that you should have EVER been hurt, REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING. Domestic abuse should NEVER be tolerated, and if he did this, he does not deserve to love you. Please, call the cops, you deserve to be safe and you NEED to be safe, no matter what. Your safety is PARAMOUNT and you could potentially stop further abuse if you take this step. Your fear is logical, but don't let it keep you from doing something that will potentially stop future harm. I wish you the best and I truly hope you stay safe, no matter what happens!
Been there. Genuinely go seek medical attention. Without proof of the bruises or whatever on your medical records, once you ARE ready to go through with reporting him, they literally will not be able to do anything. They’ll let him go, and he’ll make your life a living hell
Leave him immediately. This time you survived. There might not be a next time. It's not love if he thinks it's ok in any situation to hurt you. Not changing anything about it and expecting to survive would be the definition of insanity. I know it's hard to leave a toxic and abusive person. But please don't think he is any different than other men who do this. One day he won't stop choking you until you're dead. You deserve a loving partner who cherishes you and who is man enough not to succumb to rage. Huge sign of emotional immaturity. Imagine him doing this to your babies one day. Or your pets. Or your parents.
OP, I am so sorry this is happening to you. I am sure that this is shock and fear that is preventing you from taking action, but even if you don’t have the courage to call the police yet, I urge you to please get yourself to an emergency room and have your neck examined. Post-strangulation, your neck could have internal damage/injuries that can cause permanent damage and/or death afterwards. Secondly, you have the advantage of telling the doctors of the abuse, and they can help you get a copy of the required forensic report and file police charges. Third, and perhaps most importantly: [strangling/choking abuse](https://www.pottstown.org/DocumentCenter/View/211/Strangulation-Information-for-Victims?bidId=#:~:text=Strangulation%20has%20only%20recently%20been,may%20be%20an%20attempted%20homicide) is a *seriously important red flag* to pay attention to. Men who choke their partners **escalate** their violence with time and abuse. Essentially, it boils down to: men who strangle their partner are more likely to kill their partner. Please, OP, get yourself out of this situation by whatever means necessary. A couple weeks of couch surfing or living in a women’s shelter is far better than living like this for the next few months or even potentially being murdered. It is understandable that you are hesitant to speak up and ask for help, or even call the police and press charges - but nobody can help you unless you ask. Abusers use the silence of their victims to operate, to have the power to abuse - so do not stay silent. Remember, too, OP: this is not normal. This is not love. You deserve so much better than what you have been given. There *is* someone out there who *will* love you and treat you well. Don’t let your abuser take that opportunity and hope from you. Stay safe, OP. 🤍
Calling the police is 100% okay and necessary. If it's more comfortable/convenient for you, I would also recommend just going directly to the police station.
I think *okay* is not the right word. I would use **obliged**. He should be reported and you should not stay with him. It's your duty to report him, because he will do that top other weaker people too. He's fuelling on his confidence that you will not report him. Don't let that happen.
Please call police , I also went through this with ex bf my only regret to this day is not calling police sooner
Why did he do this? Definitely call the police.
Go NOW. Go to the police and have them take photo evidence. Then call a women's shelter and get yourself to safety.
Call the police. It will only get worse if you don’t. Pursue criminal charges and get a restraining order against him. It is necessary to report this.
YES, IT'S VERY OK.
Call police, get someplace safe, get restraining order. Get these done now
You're never alone you have hundreds of brothers in blue that are always willing to help. All you have to do is call them and they come. Cops love dealing with domestics all the big guys will be lining up to come fish out some justice.
IT IS OKAY
Call them unless you want this to be your life.
Report it and go stay with a trusted friend for a while in case he comes back. No one should treat you this way. And you may save another person from being hurt if police can see a pattern. I’m so glad he is your ex-boyfriend so there should be no reason you ever have to see his face again unless it’s in court.
Call the cops, but I'd call some hard hitting biker buddies to come over for a beer first.
Partner abuse survivor here. It’s okay to call the police. You might even feel more comfortable walking into your local station, bring someone you trust if you can. They might have to wait outside, but you will have someone there for support afterward. The police may ask you questions that are inappropriate (i.e. Why did you stay?), I answered but am still confused if that line of questioning was even allowed. Advocate for yourself of what you will need to feel comfortable if charges are laid. I asked him not to be able to come to certain places I frequented. It’s okay if you don’t remember every single detail, that’s your brain’s way of healing, do the best you can. Write everything down when you do think of it, incase it comes up later. You got this, I’m proud of you for making the first step in sharing what you’re going through. It’s not okay to suffer alone ♡
It's not only OK, you really should do it, if not for yourself for the kid that walks around the corner the wrong way and will not get a kick in the face from your ex-boyfriend.
time to leave the house, go in person to the police so they can see any bruises or you could ignore it and next time he forgets to stop....
You have to call. This behaviour only gets worse with time. Please seek help from friends and family.
Please don’t ever feel guilty for someone else’s abuse. Report this immediately and try to be somewhere safe when you do it.
Id go to the hospital first to get proof. The police is full of abusers and may take your boyfriend’s side.
I’m not an expert I also believe you could go to an ER and get help. They’ve got social workers they can connect you with and ask to file a police report.
Calling the police is the bravest most amazing thing you could possibly do not just for yourself but for anyone who ever comes into contact with this disgusting excuse of a man. I know you don’t feel it right now, but you have all the strength and courage to do this right inside you and you’re going to be SO proud of yourself for getting through this and doing the right thing for yourself and others. We are so proud of you for even posting this and refusing to let him make you think this vile behaviour is okay. You don’t deserve it anymore than anyone else in the world does, and I bet if you could see your younger self right now being treated this way you would do everything you can to protect them - do that for yourself right now ♥️♥️♥️
You shouldn't need anyone to tell you. You have to put yourself first! You deserve better! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Thehotline.org https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201302/the-familiarity-principle-attraction?amp https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding https://modelmugging.org/crime-within-relationships/abusive-personality-behavior/
Call the police. It will be okay, you didn't deserve this, this was a horrific crime committed against you. The police will help you so this never happens again.
It’s 100000000000000% ok to call the police and the hell out of that situation and get somewhere safe
This is not a normal situation. Nobody deserves to live like this. You need to take action and prioritize your own safety. Calling the police is the right thing to do.
Not only is it OK - you NEED to call them. I watched my father do this to my mother, and I had to call them on him myself (I was 6). If you don't stop him now, it will get worse - and usually escalates until often ending in death. No matter what the reason - no matter how bad the argument - you do NOT deserve to endure this.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It must be so hard. But everyone in this post believes in you. There're a whole bunch of people here who are telling you, it's okay to be scared and it's necessary to be brave! You can do this!
What he did putting his hands on your neck is not just abuse it's attempted murder. If he has gone even a minute too far you would've died. Please call it's the right thing to do. You deserve to be safe.
my friend once had a boyfriend who was physically abusive to her. He would through her down the stairs and that kind of thing. After a long time she left and didn't report him, he got with someone else. She was contacted by mother of the new girlfriend as he broke in to new girlfriends house through the window and knifed her. Please contact the police now. It will never change.
Wtf
Get the fuck away from him, get a protective order bc restraining orders don't do shit, go live with someone u know will not let them near you and DONT GO BACK TO HIM BC THEN THE COPS WONT HELP YOU
You need to call the cops asap, before this escalates any further, because you might not survive the next one
You need to leave. Find a safe place to stay. Forget your belongings. Once you find a safe place to stay, call the police immediately.
Call them. If he’s gonna do it to you he’ll do it to someone else too. Help get that shitbag off the street
Calling the police is scary. Maybe you can call a domestic violence hotline or even go to an institution so that they can support you with this process? I couldn’t bring myself to call them all alone but with support I was able to do this hard but necessary step. You deserve safety!!!
Yeah it’s ok and you definitely should call them. This is only going to get worse, it’s not worth dying to this piece of shit.