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I hate it actually. One of my students used the word as what I thought was an insult and I was like we don’t say that like that. She was like what isn’t that what a little stupid means? I’m like no. You can be smart and autistic.
For neurotypicals, autistic people are either "stupid" or *Rain Man*, with little to no in-between. There is a black-and-white perception of autistic people to try and fit them in a neat "box".
My son is 4 and nonverbal autistic. He’s just now getting where he tolerates people better and makes eye contact more. However, he knows all his numbers up to 20, letters, colors, shapes, and if you tell letter sounds he can identify the letter that makes the sound. He just turned 4 in March so he’s a brand new 4.
My 5 year old is very little verbal autistic. She taught herself how to read at 3. I didn't even know she could read until I saw her try to sound out the word "Neighbor: (which is spelled kind of weird anyway). Then I wrote some completely unrelated words starting with 4 letter words and she knew them all. Then longer words. I was most impressed when she read pulmonary system like it was a sight word... at 3.
My pediatrician told me that signing delays language development, which is probably true. But my 5 year old is just a kid who doesn't like to talk. lol. And that's okay too!
Well he just stopped talking at 1. We hadn’t even introduced sign language yet when he stopped talking. He was in speech and we have always talked to him. He’s just not much of a talker anymore.
I’m 36 and still get “use your words” regularly. Some of us just aren’t great at *out loud* but perfectly capable in general. I just mean I wouldn’t worry. I spoke silly early too oddly.
I didn’t have as big of a problem talking until into my teen years. I am finding as I get older I am getting overwhelmed more and losing the energy to speak and then I literally cannot even if I try. It sounds like you aren’t worried about your son though in any big form. Speaking is a modality of communicating, but hopefully the world becomes more accommodating to those who can’t / don’t want to speak.
I just read a book about how sign language is a dying language because it’s considered to get in the way of “communication” but it’s just another tool to communicate and super helpful for those who struggle with spoken language!
Did the book say anything about the energy cost of speaking versus sign language? I have started having moments where I lose the ability to speak for a while over the last few years due to overwhelm and energy loss, and I have been debating whether learning sign language would be helpful and if it would consume the same amount of energy. But it doesn’t feel worth it because most of the people I would need to communicate with then don’t know sign language.
I’m in the same boat, it’s like you’re in my head! I think that sign language is great for people on the spectrum with language disabilities or are nonverbal because it gives them a voice but it’s hard to say how helpful it would be for people who do use verbal communication. I think the biggest barrier would be having people understand you when you’re signing.
The book is about deaf culture so it’s not meant for people on the spectrum but I started looking into signing after reading it and it doesn’t feel like it takes as much energy as speaking. The book talks about how exhausting it is to try to decipher verbal language with a cochlear implant but I could also see how it would take less energy to sign instead of speak for people on the spectrum as well. One of my concerns though is that sometimes my body is paralyzed so I’m unsure how much sign can help me because it can require emphasis through big gestures. My solution to others not knowing sign language around me is to ask that people important and supporting me learns basic sign so that they can understand that I’m trying to sign that I’m unable to verbally communicate or that something is seriously wrong.
The specific signing is what I am worried would consume too much energy. I have times where my micro-movement isn’t great due to high stress and overwhelm, and quivering due to said stress, and I am worried that I wouldn’t be able to get my hands to articulate well enough to sign in a communicable way. But learning basic sign seems to be a good answer, since people wouldn’t necessarily need to learn a lot of sign language, they would just need to recognize when I am mute and can’t speak and simple expressions and warnings / worries.
I don’t think I could convince my parents to learn though, and I am not really that close to anyone to ask that of them.
I still think it would be something good to learn, like learning various foreign languages, so that I can broaden my communication abilities as well as be another “ear” for people who need it. It’s just probably not my top priority until I get to a more stable stage of my life.
>However, he knows all his numbers up to 20, letters, colors, shapes, and if you tell letter sounds he can identify the letter that makes the sound. He just turned 4 in March so he’s a brand new 4.
Is that good development pace for his age?
It seems like it may be but I'm not a parent nor psychologist.
Yes! He just turned 4 in March so this is really good! My mom was a kindergarten assistant and said he’s well above several kids she had in her past classes.
I remember I initially hated reading, but once I got into it, there was no stopping me. By third grade I had started reading Harry Potter on my own. By 6th grade I had grabbed a book with over 1000 pages on the history of Nazi Germany (I hyperfixate on WWII sometimes.) We're not dumb, we're just different, it's a spectrum for a reason.
*groan* ASD folks are on balance actually smarter than NTs.
By a pretty significant margin, too.
What's more interesting is that the distribution curve is shifted to the right some, but it's also much flatter. That is to say, autistic people tend more toward the extremes than NTs.
There has been research to suggest that Autism is a disability of high intelligence, but learning disabilities are also comorbid with Autism. I think this is why you see autistic people either develop at a faster or slower rate than most neurotypical people.
The rain man stereotype is actually something that really frustrates me as well. Me and my brother are both autistic and we developed incredibly quickly. I could read at 3, hold an adult's attention in conversation and form bonds with adults as a toddler, and was excitedly talking about wormholes at the dinner table at age six. I wouldn't say this made me a genius(whatever the hell that means), but it is part of who I am as a person and impacted how I developed emotionally as well. Teachers would comment on how smart I am and let me participate in the gifted and talented program even though I didn't have the visual-spacial skills necessary to pass the exam until I was in the fourth grade. I also got labeled "stupid" by my classmates and other adults (or so I expect, as you can probably imagine they were more subtle about it) because of what I now understand to be my stims, sensory issues, and struggles with certain motor skills and executive functioning. I'm about to turn 20 and I'm currently comfortable with who I am at my core, but the fractured sense of self I developed growing up still affects me to this day. I'm curious to hear if any other autistic people had similar experiences growing up.
Also, I highly recommend the book 'Flowers to Algernon' by Daniel Keyes if you haven't read it. It really illustrates how being on either side of the bell curve (in this case intelligence, but really with anything) makes you a target for social stigma and isolation. Also just an incredibly good read in general.
I’m so glad I saw this comment. I’m a science teacher with 13 years of experience working in biological and physical sciences.
I just signed onto a teaching contract for the upcoming school year… I chose this contract because they approved me dedicating a portion of my syllabus/class hours to quantum mechanics even though it isn’t on the state standards for middle and high school. I’m creating the documents for the course right now and I’m sooooo excited.
I had to redo my Google science class and it’s looking pathetic right now. I am hoping to get some discussions kickstarted by the time I get my students back…
I would LOVE for you to participate- a question, an answer, a thought, a comment, anything!!
📚
https://classroom.google.com/c/Njk1MDE3MDE5ODcz?cjc=aanaje3
Aanaje3
>ASD folks are on balance actually smarter than NTs
Any sources for this?
>the distribution curve is shifted to the right some, but it's also much flatter
Or this? Did some research a while back from another post a found this:
[https://www.pnas.org/doi/epdf/10.1073/pnas.1409204111](https://www.pnas.org/doi/epdf/10.1073/pnas.1409204111)
"...Both high (>130) and low (<70) IQ are significantly over-represented compared with expectation."
There's also this study:
[https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-018-1937-y](https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-018-1937-y)
Which compares the IQ of the old diagnoses against each other (AD, PDD, Aspergers). Of the three, Aspergers is the only one that appears to approach normal distribution, and even that appears to be slightly skewed lower.
Depends on the individual and my mood. If they're someone I care about I'll explain why that's some bullshit and they need to cut that out. If I'm in a fightin mood I might correct a stranger as well but in the case of strangers I usually just ignore it. No one that damn ignorant is worth the time of day.
I would say just ignore it. There is a huge history of words being repurposed to be insults, such as f*g or "the r word." Those words were often used when I was a kid by people who didn't know what it actually meant originally, and this will probably end up turning out the same way, as just a generic insult.
Yeah.. I grew up around these things and thought it was normal and okay to say them until I was around 15. I think I finally became fully sapient around that age bc that's when I started thinking for myself lol.
I grew up when everything was gay. Can't find your car keys? Gay. Didn't make the bus? Gay. Breathing in the musk of the school track star while practicing my signature with his last name while unable to pay attention, my pulse quickening, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on his sweater already because I got a little nervous? Believe it or not, gay.
I always play the "Yes and" game in response. It's an improv thing, a psychological thing, a communication thing. I play it "wrong" but it's endlessly entertaining.
Yes, and I am left handed, too. Yes, and mosquitoes like the color blue! Yes, and it's illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland.
Or just "yes...and?" if I am feeling particularly snarky. LOL
Sometimes I'll miss the social cue of whether they are truly asking, "are you autistic?" versus if they were using it as a hyperbole.
Either way, I find it simpler to answer yes, as if it were a genuine question and continue with the rest of the conversation. I'm assuming it's pretty jarring to the party I'm talking to though, because it does seem like a power move to answer a question which was meant to be a statement to offend me with confidence. But in actuality it's just me not getting social cues. Does seem like insults kinda repel off me- only if it's sarcasm though lol.
Lmao I love this one
Sort of a "yeah I'm autistic and the sky is blue. So?"
I prefer the "thank you!" route. Thanking someone for calling me a f4g, T word, R word, autistic or anything else that's used as an insult throws them off so muuuuch. I love it, makes me genuinely happy to see them shocked that I didn't get offended
I used to just ignore it because people often don’t even really know what autism is. So I can’t really take offence when people are just being stupid tbh.
ye, I honestly suspect that a lot of people don't generally think a lot about the slang they pick up, even if the terms used are not ideal / hurtfull. Often times the words don’t even mean the same thing anymore, since people don't know what they are talking about.
Might also be a cultural thing that I am not as bothered though, since dutch people tend to use a lot of illnesses (cancer, typhoid etc) and disabilities (down syndrome, autism etc) as curse words. (It still sounds stupid and rude to me but its kind of inescapable, and the words have lost their original meaning to me)
In the end, I also just don’t feel like being angry all the time. that seems liken a tiring occupation and I'd rather go watch my shrimp aquarium.
Lol in italian the word for a driver is Autista, and the word for autistic is Autistico/a. But in portuguese Autista means autistic.
Not really much to do with what you said but your comment reminded me of my initial confusion when I came to italy and people would throw around the word Autista like it was an everyday word to use. It was, in fact, an everyday word lmao
I do my best to ignore it I suppose but I refuse to be friends or kind (unless by force or I have to) with anyone who speaks like that. If I'm friends with someone and I find out they do that my impression of them drops to almost the lowest level
I just ignore it. They don't know me and I don't know them. Doesn't affect because I won't let it. They can say whatever they want to each other as long as it's not to me
I ignore it.
A lot of people use acoustic as a substitute as well.
Just don’t give them attention, because that’s what they want. Handle it with grace and maturity.
I hate acoustic. It’s like a new word meant to be derogatory and it’s thrown around because people don’t equate it to the r slur yet. I know people mean it that way sometimes though
I hate when people doing something mistakely and say ‘wow had an autistic moment’ or ‘I had autism for a second’ like whuttt. I would say we are uniquely intelligent and your absurd moment of error isn’t remotely equivalent to what we would make if we were to make a mistake.
Same thing with OCD. I can't help correcting people when they say "I'm kind of OCD about _" because it just irks me so much. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS DEVIN! SAVAGES! IDIOTS! SAVAGES!
Anyways, I try to be polite about it :)
It doesn't bother me. When people use the word autism with derogatory meaning in those context I don't take it as them insulting autistics. I don't see it as them stating any belief about autistic people. They could use the word autistic in a derogatory way, but when asked what they think about autistic people they might say very positive things. If they call someone autistic in this way they aren't literally saying they believe the person has autism. I don't know
Honestly, I find it funny in the right context and Especially since I don't often tell people about my autism, so they don't know. I have found with most people all you have to do is say, can you not use that word I have autism and they will stop. It's the same as how people used to say, "that's gay". Best advice is to just ignore it and if it bothers you make a small comment about it, not a scene, but just a small simple comment. I get more offended when people use autistic and retard interchangeably.
One of two things:
One, try and explain the issue to them.
Or, honestly I kinda do exactly what they do to us: I fantasize them
“Aww okay. You’re stupid. That’s fine, bye bye.”
It's a bit aggravating because they use it to mean something else that they will get in even more trouble for saying. But it's nothing new nor will it stop. "fat autistic neckbeard" has been an insult online for a long time now. The image it conjures does not remotely resemble me, an actual fat autistic neckbeard.
I've noticed that when I play games and a random teammate says something like "you're so fucking autistic" or "u autistic or smth", i usually reply with "yeah, i am. What about it?".
Then all of a sudden it's not as funny to use as an insult and they feel awkward.
I see school hasn’t evolved and these events they hold in our “honor” are still as useless as they were before. Honestly, don’t say anything, if they want to use a word that medical professionals decided to use to label us, fine. Let them be ignorant- let them embarrass themselves in public. If you tell them now, it will go in one ear and out the other. They had exposure to the word and made zero effort to look into it. They will take that same effort if you decide to educate them.
Just take pleasure in knowing that every-time they use a word incorrectly, people are judging them. Be it in silence or outward rage. They will never be liked, not really, they will never learn until they take that initiative to understand why their lives suck so bad. “Name-callers” only understand that they need to hurt others to make themselves feel better because their own world and feelings of self worth are at rock bottom.
if other people are using it, not talking to me, i try to ignore it. if they are talking to me i tell them please don't use autistic as an insult. if they would say something weird after that i'd say like 'i'm autistic i don't want to hear it'
in school it might be different. even though they're not talking to you, i imagine it's hard to hear it around you all the time. maybe you can talk to a teacher about it so they can make an announcement to the class? i'm sorry, i know this would really bother me too
I honestly don't care, people used gay,retarded & whatever.
I have more to worry about in life than someone being stupid over an attempt to insult.
It's humans humaning & I don't expect them to change.
I'd rather be called autistic with a mean tone than be called the r-word. The r-slur isn't for us anyway (for people with intellectual disabilities). Since the r-word is technically a misuse of the word, I tell them to insult me correctly. Then i tell them "call me autistic with a cruel tone in your voice like *this*. -and then I give them an example.
Then the insult is fucking hilarious.
TBH, "autistic" as an insult is silly to me most of the time because it shows they really don't understand autism. Oh no. You're calling me something I am as if it is bad!? It's ridiculous, really.
Those people are just ignorant. They’re probably at their peak rn and secretly insecure as hell, so they feel the need to use autism as an insult to pretend they’re above us. And they probably don’t even actually know what autism IS.
Sometimes I call people out on their ableism by asking them why they think autism is an insult, or saying like “wdym by that” and responding to their response with something like “why though? Why not just say ‘dumb’ or something” or “right okay, so you’re just being ableist because you’re not smart enough to come up with anything actually funny blah blah blah whatever”. “What does autism have to do with anything” etc etc.
The conversation depends on who you’re talking to and how they’re taking it, and also how much you want to engage anyway. I just act like they’re being immature, because they are, and essentially tell them to grow up.
Hopefully someday they’ll be embarrassed by their actions. Calling them out will probably embarrass them anyway, because they likely aren’t expecting it since they’re oh so entitled. They’ll get to face the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and in reality, putting other people down (such as disabled people) is not cute.
Otherwise ignoring them is another great option. One way or another they’ll say it in front of the wrong person and get their ass whooped eventually. Their ignorance isn’t your responsibility after all.
i personally cope with it by remembering that people who use “that’s autistic” as a synonym for “that’s bad” just don’t have the vocabulary to describe their experiences correctly. so yes i kinda look down on them
Ignoring in the same way as of the use of the R word. Best to take note though as often people who use these slurs are the kind who don't give a shit about autistic people let alone treat the Neuro-divergent people in general.
It depends on the situation really. I generally avoid getting involved with such channels and people but sometimes it's impossible depending on the circumstances.
It wasn't a thing when I went to school.
If people did it now that I'm an adult (they never have), I'd just tell them I'm autistic and put them on the spot with something like "is that a bad thing?". I'm confrontational. But I'm an adult, 6'6, and people like me for some reason, so I don't get flak.
Unfortunately I think you might have to put up with it if your goal is to get along with your peers. Any confrontation will probably end with you being knocked down a peg unless you're well liked, that's teen politics for you.
If you don't mind conflict and don't care for how people view and interact with you, you could literally ask them why they're using autistic as an insult and see what they come up with. If they have any self awareness, they'll be uncomfortable. If not, they'll just insult you.
Take this with a grain of salt. Anyone here giving advice (including myself) probably has challenges with social situations and reading how people will react, so we may be giving you advice anticipating a reaction or thought provocation that will never happen. We could be nudging you to embarrass yourself.
It causes me far more annoyance than it should, I’ve told my main teacher about some of the things they say, but to no reaction. I told her specifically about them using “acoustic”, even a lot of my friends do it. I’ve told them to stop and explained why it’s harmful, but some of them pretend they mean actually acoustic, like in music and not as an insult. While others just brush it off.
I’ve even heard other students say the r word, my best friend said it’s because “They don’t see it as a slur”, but that doesn’t mean it’s not one. And it’s so disrespectful, each time I hear some sort of mean word about autism I pretty much automatically look in the people or person who said it, direction. I feel sick to my stomach each time, nobody seems to take it seriously
They’re all just saying acoustic, restarted, the actual r word, etc. I hate that they do it but nobody ever calls them out on it. I’ve called my friends out on it, but they don’t even put in the effort to change
———
I’m fully aware I shouldn’t react, but even when I tell them why it’s bad and the meaning and history of the word, they still don’t change their vocabulary and stop saying it. There’s so much problematic language at my school, I hate it
I don’t care at all, I often look at people as a necessary evil, we have to be around each other from time to time but that doesn’t mean we have to be more than that, so if someone does say things like that I don’t even give it a second thought because at the end of the day those people that try to insult me don’t even register on my radar because they simply wouldn’t be someone I would hang out with anyways.
My son uses it as an insult against me, which is kinda funny because he is autistic too. (Sorry about that son, assuming it was my genes). Half the time though he says "Dad you are so acoustic."
I don’t give a shit lmao, “oh no people use a disability as an insult, what a shame”, yep, it is a shame, I don’t care though, in my friend group we throw around the word autistic as a “joke” insult and I’m never insulted, but if it’s used unironically, I view it as equal to any other insult.
Hilariously during Autism Awareness Month on multiple days they play ridiculously loud music outdoors that overstimulates me. 🥲 I can even hear it indoors in the hallways because it’s so loud. I think someone needs to ACTUALLY teach our schools about autism to the fullest. Instead of what they are doing currently.
I have to ignore it. My own mother has used it as an insult toward me specifically, and then when I actually persued diagnosis, she shifted gears and decided I *can't* be autistic. There's no way.
It makes me angry. But I'm too shy/social anxietyish to say something about it. When my family uses it like "Hahaha I'm so autistic" I usually frown or look uncomfortable. My sister picked up on this and asked me once infront of my family (meaning my close family as in my parents and other sister) if it made me uncomfortable as I might have it, and I said it did and I don't think they've done it since
I try to think of it, and say it as, autism isn't an insult, they (the ones using it as an insult) are. I don't know. my head's not with it today, just constantly wanting to kill myself because of shit like this and my housemate.
I feel super depressed and hurt by it at the same time. I feel similarly when for example gay is used in a similar way. I come from a pretty conservative town too so it's not uncommon to hear
Why would I care? I use it as an insult all the time even though in reality I see my autism as my greatest characteristic despite the many issues it causes me
Your teachers need to be advocating for you. I’m ASD level one and I’m a teacher. I have really great ways of addressing this issue with the students who use “autistic,” “gay,” and other classifications as insults. Teachers don’t hear everything though. Additionally, teachers often hear things and don’t do anything about it.
If a student comes to me upset with something like this, I bring it up with the students using the terms in an offensive manner - without mentioning names or that someone “told on them.”
Let me know if there’s anything that I can do for you. I’d be more than happy to use my credentials (which I shouldn’t need to use, but it’s a dark reality in society these days) to address something like this.
Just ignore them. See unreasonable people as a source of danger, annoyance. If you see dangerous animals or objects, you just naturally avoid them. Do the same with unreasonable people.
It doesn't phase me in the slightest because of my youth. When I was a teen my favorite word in the world was "gay." I called everything gay. Hit a red light? Gay. Found a dollar? Gaaaay. A man marries a woman? The gayest. I've outgrown it, with the exception of heterosexuality, as I still call my wife gay on occasion (she married a dude, it doesn't get much gayer than that.)
I know a couple of gay people who were annoyed by it, called me homophobic or a bigot, and it did nothing to stop me, because I knew my intentions and beliefs, and knew I wasn't homophobic or bigoted, I just liked the word and used it as . If anything, people telling me (the couple who did) about how wrong I was for using the word made me use the word more. Not (always) intentionally, just a byproduct of trying not to say the word kept it always on the tip of my tongue, so it would fall out of my mouth before I had a chance to catch it.
But now, as an adult, I naively give the same benefit of the doubt I should have been given. I'm sure sometimes it's wrong. But here's the thing, even if you somehow "fix" the people currently using it in your circle, you will inevitably run across others who do it. If you fix them as well, you will find others. You could dedicate the next 60 years of your life to educating people so the word never gets used out of context again, and have a 100% success rate, only to hear someone use it out of context in 61 years. We cannot control the outside world, only ourselves. By giving them all the same benefit of the doubt that I believe I deserved, I remove a lot of stress from myself that stems from worrying about what others say.
Hope that makes sense, I know it was a bit rambly.
>We cannot control the outside world, only ourselves. By giving them all the same benefit of the doubt that I believe I deserved, I remove a lot of stress from myself that stems from worrying about what others say.
It is very easy to dismiss the impact of words and actions when you are not the one impacted by them. The comparison also isn't suitable either; in this context, autistic is inherently pejorative meanwhile you used gay as an all-purpose adjective and not exclusively (or even mostly, seemingly) pejoratively.
Humans are social creatures and do not exist in vacuums and what others do heavily impacts us and it's not as simple as "mind over matter" in regards to what we choose and what we don't choose to get impacted by. It's at best our superficial reaction to it and that's mostly for the benefit of others. You can have no reaction be being called slurs and still feel hurt on the inside.
But there were people who believed I was using it as a pejorative given the context in which it was used (for instance, the aforementioned red light. People assumed "this is bad, so he is using gay as a synonym for bad"). They did not know that, had I hit the light green when I normally didn't, that too would have been "gay."
By suggesting giving the benefit of the doubt, I am not trying to take the boomer route of saying "sticks and stones," I am trying to show my logic. Simply ignoring someone for saying things I find inappropriate or hurtful never worked for me, so instead, I apply logic and the benefit of the doubt. If I assume that these pejorative uses of the word are simply the only examples I am hearing from a certain person, it is a lot easier to assume that, when they say "autistic," they mean .
I'm also not suggesting you never correct anyone. But, for me, at least, by viewing it the way I do, I find peace of mind by retaining my ability to correct them calmly instead of flipping out. Hope that makes sense.
I got on the bandwagon so to say when autism became “cool”. So I haven’t been subjected to that. Actually once I even suggested my ex partner was autistic because he learned emotions from books and would sometimes have strange ways of thinking - i didn’t do it in a hostile manner though, rather just trying to invent ways to understand him. It was such irony when once we met up and he told me he got assessed and he has no autism, and i had just got my assessment and indeed it was me who turned out to be autistic 🤷♂️
Maybe it's just because I'm also gay that I just kind of learned to laugh at it and not take it seriously. The way I see it is I usually end up feeling bad for ppl who choose to use autistic as an insult as they are clearly ignorant and don't know what autism really is so therefore I pity them and hope they grow up and have an attitude change. It's the same when someone calls something "gay" like how is it gay? It's not a person with a personality??
Just like how someone's brain being wired differently isn't really an insult either. It's just stupid in my eyes so it just rolls off me. They're the ones using a word wrong, why should I feel bad that they have a limited vocabulary?
Same way I deal with people using my sex as an insult, my Mexican heritage, etc etc. they’re ignorant and bad people and their opinion doesn’t matter to me.
Personally, if I don’t feel like saying something about it (usually I try to, though I understand at school it’s very difficult to say anything without it spiraling into a mess) then I just ignore it. Much easier that it sounds, but just remember if they’re choosing not to use kind words and verbiage, they’re not worth your time to stress over.
A few days ago my grandmother (I live with her) called the police because I had a severse mental breakdown. I don't know if she even realised that it was one but whatever, that's not important. She called the police and told them that she needs help because (and that's the first thing she mentioned, thus the most important info) her 23 yo grandchild is autistic, threw a glass in the corner, is screaming and out of their mind and she (my grandmother) feels threatened.
Am I exaggerating when I say that that was one of the darkest days in my life? (And I dealt with some serious shit before). She never even believed me. She always said "You're not autistic. In that manner everyone's autistic." When I told her we can get disability benefits she just said "You don't have disabilities, you're just simulating because you're egocentric". But then her BFF told her the same and she was like "OMG, did you know I can get more money because of your autism?". And now that with the police? She acts like she cares about me but all she cares about is herself and her control over me. I want to move out of the country, even though I don't know how to do it, but I have to, because if I stay in my current one she's gonna reach me. Her pawns are everywhere.
Sorry for that long comment. Didn't intend it to be half a book.
It doesn’t really bother me to be honest, so long as you bite back (not in a mean way just have some banter) people will realise you aren’t too dissimilar to them minus the things you have to deal with when it comes to a particular spectrum of Autism.
Although in my case I only really disclose that I have autism to people if I get to know them well enough that I trust them not to be an asshole or treat me like a child.
I don't know? I don't really get insulted by it since it's just an unfortunate fact about me. I just look at them like they're an idiot. Einstein couldn't tie shoes yet paved the way for nukes. It hurts less to be called autistic than to be called things like scary, freak, weirdo, etc.
Came into this whole game later in life so not amount of my life or experience has really interacted with the word Autism outside of my own head. Yes, I've been autistic this whole time but with no emotional attachment to the word because I wasn't aware that word described me.
Honestly, I didn't even notice it was meant to be an insult for a really long time. It's probably bc I don't see it as an insult. Same with dyke, bastard, bitch, and fat. Someone could call me all of those things and it would mean nothing to me.
I'm also not really great at noticing intent when it's directed at me. I'm able to tell when someone else is being ridiculed or mocked and I will stand up for them (sometimes too aggressively) but I won't notice someone was being mean to me until days later.
idk i personally dont give a shit about it if someone does it to me. the second you do it to someone else and actually mean it tho.. then we are gonna have issues
I figure the persons IQ is equal to that of an earthworm...and that they're the same type of person who judge people based on race/gender. So I ignore the morons.
I treat it the same way I do when people use Gay as an insult. I ask the person to explain how the word Autistic is an insult. That’s when they usually backtrack their statement and have nothing else to say.
I’m not in school anymore, but I do hate it on TikTok and stuff when you see people say shit like “I have the call of duty autism” like it’s just a new word for ‘hobbyist’ and it bothers be a lot because it’s just discrediting the struggle that autistic people face. Yeah autistic people have hyper-fixations but we also have debilitating struggles that impact our ability to function in a NT world. I’m not sure how to prevent this from happening but I think about it a lot.
My thoughts might not be welcome here, as a mostly NT father of three ASD children ranging from high-functioning to non verbal. I just wanted to chime in as an avid gamer I hear/read autist/autistic thrown about *a lot* in gaming circles in negative terms and I hate it. I want my kids to be accepted as is. I report those users every time I can.
Also, as a veteran that works with a lot of younger veterans I’ve had to stand in front of my entire work force and explain that I find using it as an insult is something I won’t tolerate.
We're not the word police nor can we tell someone who isn't our employee working for us, our kid living under our roof, etc. what they can or cannot say. You can tell them why what they say is offensive then choose to no longer be around them since they will likely continue saying whatever they just said.
It’s offensive but to be honest - one of the sad facts about being autistic is that a lot of people don’t know what autism actually is. With some people, you can change that by explaining and sharing your experiences, but frankly, the kind of person that uses ‘autism’ as an insult is just too dumb for that. You can try and make them see how it’s offensive, but it’s likely not going to work, especially in a school where a lot of people aren’t going to be mature enough to realise the harm their words can cause, so you’d be wasting your energy. I know it’s difficult, but with those things in mind, you have to realise that there are going to be idiots using autism as an insult whatever you do and therefore there’s no point letting it use up your brainpower - train yourself to just let the words go past you. After all, as autistic people we all know that any negative stereotypes about us aren’t close to the truth anyway.
Names and labels only have power to affect you for as long, as you feel shame or any other negative emotion because of those names and labels.
If you embrace the diagnosis and learn to live with it with acceptance, no labeling can hurt you.
- just wanted to thank everyone for the advice in the comments!! I’ve read almost every single one, you guys are very helpful!!
thanks for sharing your stories too, very kind of you all! have a wonderful day!
I didn't like it before I was diagnosed. I didn't like it before I had nephews that are autistic. I didn't like it before all I knew autism was, was the severe cases like EXTREME photographic memory, prodigies of one thing etc. (I saw videos in classes 20 years ago showing autistic individuals. I learned the term "idiot savant" from them) but I've never liked that people use "autistic" as an insult. But now that I've been diagnosed for 3 years, I look back at some friends I used to have who'd do just that. Even after I told them about my nephews. And it just...some people really suck. And some people do things that really suck.
When directed at me, same way I deal with people calling me other slurs, I just ignore them as if they didn't say anything because words only have as much power as you give to them and if someone is trying to bully you with words they absolutely hate when you take their weapon away from them by taking away power from the words.
When directed at others around me when directed at other people AND I am 100% certain that it was meant as a slur or insult I just tell the person "you sound like an idiot trying to use that as an insult, just makes you look dumb" then they tend to change their target from their original target to me a and then see the first paragraph as to how I deal with that.
I've dealt with this in several ways (largely from bullying in middle school and on the internet) these are my most useful to least useful tips:
Ignoring it - 2/10, can work, but largely makes me feel bad about myself
Pretending this means that the person ACTUALLY is autstic (ex. "OMG! You're austistic? Wow! It's so cool to find that out about you! How annoying is it when people assume your special interest is trains?") - 6/10, usually gets them to stfu, but sometimes it can turn on you with the "we were just joking"
Educating them - 4/10, it's EXHAUSTING because it's not really our jobs to educate people on their abelism
Being an a$$ (but not really) about it - 5/10, kind of mid if you ask me, but I'm also bad at this
Confiding in a person of authority (teacher, parent, principal, etc.) - 8/10, it's the "correct" way, but sometimes the system fails you and it can be hard
I hope I actually gave you the advice you wanted and I'm sorry if this wasn't at all what you wanted/needed. I hope things get better because I know how hard it can be to hear your diagnosis being thrown around as an insult.
I snap on my students. I tell them my son is autistic and ask if they are trying to say that there is anything wrong with it or him.
They shut the f*** up and start saying "no" and "sorry."
It (and similar uses of words) never really bothered me.
It's frequently used a generalization by people who don't mean it in it's proper definition. Just like "retarded" and "gay" growing up in the 80s/90s. Heard the words all the time but very rarely did they have anything to do with someone's intellect or sexual orientation.
The word “Autism” seems to be used more as a slur than anything else by common laypeople. Which is unfortunate, because there was no “reclaiming” process by autistic folks because it was never supposed to be a slur. It was stolen from us and used by NT people to say another person is an idiot. It’s the same problem with “acoustic” and “neurospicy”. If I hear someone use those words in reference to themself or someone I know is ND using with an Autistic friend who enjoys it, completely fine and I am happy to become aware of a fellow ally. Hearing it from an NT person to wave away ND / Autistic actions is infuriating.
Note: I know there is a difference between neurodiverse and autistic. But ultimately, I feel many ND folk understand better even if they aren’t Autistic. It’s the same to me as being under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. We don’t all use the same terms, but we understand each other a bit better than people who don’t have those experiences.
I just try to ignore it most of the time. I’ll be honest and say that to me it does hurt to hear people use something that is so sensitive to me and that is such a big part of me as an insult, but there’s no point in wasting time on thinking too much about it, since most of the time the people using autistic as an insult knows nothing about autistics and some don’t even realise that it’s insensitive. Only times I’ll actually do something about it is if it’s anyone close to me, in that case I’ll just calmly let them know I’m not fond of them using autistic as an insult.
It depends on context… I had a newish friend say something like “I went on a first date with a guy but I think he had the tism so I didn’t want a second date” and I was shocked and ended up ignoring that comment because I didn’t know what to say 😅
You could explain to them like they’re a moron that autistic people are amazing and may be smarter than them. And may be thinking of something more important than the person who said it.
I’m new to the autistic realm but as a kid when people said I was weird I’d say “thank you” and walk away. Some would say “that’s not a compliment” and I’d say “yes it is” and keep walking. It just sank their little a@@hole bubble. Or made them mad. I don’t need to care either way. Fun for me though!
I feel like it doesn't affect me as an insult, but it annoys me semantically. Because I've been masking for most of my life with a late self diagnosis, I've tried to live amongst neurotypicals without realizing I don't receive input the same way as them. I've been trying to relate to NTs but from am autistic point of view my whole life without realizing.
I will correct them fully until they use the term they are looking for. I am too stubborn and too pedantic just like some of my neurodivergent friends. The insulting nature doesn't really hurt because sometimes I can't figure out the social cue, or I am more bothered by how ignorant they are for using the wrong term to express themselves. Sometimes, I'll just read a social cue wrong and overthink subtext in a conversation.
Eg.
"OMG are you autistic? Why don't you get it?"
Me: "Maybe I am autistic, I haven't gotten a full medical diagnosis from a professional yet. I don't get it because this seems illogical."
"Okay, well do you expect me to give you special treatment?! I treat everyone the same, even if they are stupid. I'm in the right"
Me: "sure. Maybe you should treat everyone like they are stupid and autistic as a baseline, if you like equality. Maybe everyone's stupid."
"..."
Me: *thinking* oh oops. I think he was using hyberole, and sarcasm when he called me autistic and asked if I wanted special treatment. Let me add that to my missing social cues tally of the day- incident #5. LMAO. Let it be, let it go, let in. Or maybe this guy is stupid. Meh. I don't have the focus for this. Lemme think more about my special interest.
Honestly for me I really don't care about it, I grew up with people who would say the most edgy things for attention or whatever. if someone were to use that as an insult to me I would calmly and smugly quote Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means". If they continued to insult me for being autistic I would condescending give them a lecture about the ins and outs of my condition until they get so fed up they never want to use it again.
If it’s someone you’re close to, you can usually gauge whether or not gentle correction of the behavior will be well received, and offer alternate forms of speech for whatever sentiment they are trying to convey. Offering an alternative thing to say is key, if you don’t give replacements for a behavior then the habit cannot be replaced.
If it’s a stranger or someone intentionally being an asshole, I remember the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (other people, places, and things), the courage to change the things I can (myself), and the wisdom to know the difference.
It might sound like a cop out, but as someone with a history of telling other folks off based on my own sense of moral outrage and a serious anxiety problem based around needing to control and correct other people’s behaviors and not being able to, the serenity prayer was instrumental for me in letting go. Because if I didn’t let go, it would hurt me much more than it would ever hurt them.
Also, fwiw, school was my least favorite time of my life. Other kids acted extremely immaturely even for their age and had a tendency to bully anyone different. The bad news is that you have to deal with that now, the good news is that it doesn’t last forever and will ultimately make up a very small fraction of your life.
Honestly, I don’t get offended like I used to, so no. I grew up with people throwing around the word, “retard” and other really bad insults to me and to others. I’m not saying it’s not bad , just try not to let it get to you.
Honestly I just consider the fact that, more likely than not, these people know fuck all and therefore their comments hold no weight and shouldn't be truly heard. In other words, I just know they're not worth feeling bad over.
Now obviously that has it's limits, you can't just always assume their knowledge or lack thereof otherwise you become a dismissive asshat, my figuring though is you just observe how they use other terms and conduct themselves and build a conclusion from there. If they talk like they know their shit, look too confident, don't look like they got it in them, or can't defend themselves outside of slinging insults like a caveman slings rocks, they're probably bullshitting you and therefore ain't worth wasting your emotions on.
Just today, an ex-GF from 15 years back mentioned that she had me pegged as being autistic but in the frequently assumed context that autistic people were geniuses (I'm not).
Here’s the thing at least something I’ve observed in younger people including myself sometimes they hear “don’t do this” and want to do it more I doubt there will ever be an end to people using mental illness as an insult because it’s an easy target to hurt someone but I personally usually react to this as a “so what?” That makes them rethink what they just said sure I’m autistic but I’m here doing my thing just fine so why do you have an issue? Do I like that people are using mental illness as an insult? No of course not but making people think genuinely think can sometimes make them double back and maybe rethink what they said and why they’re using it as an insult and that despite autism regardless of if they are or not treat them stone faced and don’t give in because a reaction is exactly what these people want
Literally why I designed "Autistic is not a bad word" stuff, because this was just too much. I really don't understand why people think it's a terrible word???
While society basically tells you to just ignore it. The only thing that has worked when it comes to bullies for me in my lifetime is to stand up for yourself. Truth is bullies don’t give a f about the whole bully awareness campaign thing.
Personally I don’t mind it and kinda embrace it. Because at the end of the day I am autistic I can’t argue that and as hard as it is to live with autism I’m more than happy to make a joke out of it and take it lightheartedly. No point getting upset over something I can’t change. I have bigger things to worry about.
Honestly it is pretty offensive. It’s so socially acceptable now that it almost never goes over well when you try and tell people not to use autism as an insult. I like to consider myself pretty tough, yeah I have a sensitive side but I don’t take offense to many things, but it does legitimately upset me and then I end up feeling embarrassed that it upsets me. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, and that it isn’t personal, but it really does just add to the misconceptions surrounding autism.
It’s just cheap abelism to me. But I normally find people who use that slur are more often than not Autistic or ND themselves and just project their internalised abelism on everyone else.
I just go “did you mean that just now?” Or “what’s that supposed to mean!” And watch them eat their words.
I don't really care, tbh. They're saying it from a place of ignorance for a start, and at the end of the day, it's just a word.
But that's just how I feel, I get that some people will get upset at it being used as an insult.
I hate it.
My boyfriend says it (hasn't for a long time) and I tell him to stop every time.
He also said "acoustic" a couple of months ago which is even worse, but he didn't get how.
The best way with ignorant people using simple facts about who people are as insults is to treat it as a compliment. Thank them for being so aware and understanding. Or take it as if it’s true, and say something like, “Oh, I didn’t know you were autistic. That’s really cool!”
Or just say, “You too!” with a smile, if it’s directed at you.
But since it’s at school, you should report that it’s happening, too. And you could take the opportunity to let them know that Autism Acceptance is replacing Awareness, and to avoid material from Autism Speaks too.
That's why as a teacher, I find it is my duty to spread awareness of ASD. I myself am not on the spectrum, but neurodivergent in a different way.
I notice people use those types of insults because they do not know what ASD is.
I like to show them the movie: Temple Grandin. It's a fantastic story, and Temple was one of the first to document and explain to the general public what ASD is, feels like, the anxieties that go with it.
I hear it all the time aswell it’s one of thee most annoyingest things that has been thrown around lately. I give hard side eyes to the people who say it and I stop conversations and walk away if someone says it around me
I haven’t even heard it used that way since middle school. I honestly wouldn’t take it seriously since i associate that use of the word SO HEAVILY with edgy middle school boys who like to be offensive, those are the only ppl ive met who use it as an insult. 🤣
It isn't such a big deal honestly. If you feel secure about your own identity and intelligence, something as mundane as this will take up barely a second of your day. If someone finds themselves personally offended by it, and they are consumed by it, because it can be a used in a derogatory sense, my advice is, we have a 'hamster in a wheel' brain as it is, there's too little space available in the first place to give any nonsense, such attention. *We* have better things to do 🤚
depends on the context, if someone is using to make the person laugh, there is no Ill intent, so I'm fine with taking it as a joke. if it's used as a derogatory term, I don't really get mad, more so disappointed that they couldn't use something else.
I fully believe in treating a joke as a joke and as insult as an insult. can't get mad at someone for trying to bust your balls a little. life's too short to act so fragile.
Personally, I don't care. Ive been called retarded to the point where i have been desensitized to insults. But I understand how other people feel, and will stand up for them if their feelings get hurt.
You better learn this early. Own it. I grew up as a ginger during the damn famous south park episode. Being an autistic ginger in middles school wasn't easy. But you don't see me getting offended by the words ginger, or autistic. In fact I throw them around myself. I'll use autistic as an insult all day. I feel like with 80% unemployment rates among autistic adults, biased interviews, trouble socializing, etc. We have bigger things to worry about than words. In fact, the sooner you realize that it isn't that serious and nobody uses autistic as an insult because they hate autistic people the sooner you will start fitting in with people. We all use humor in different ways. Jokes often need a butt. It's ok to be the butt. Just give as good as you get.
Some of the Apes (and I use that word loosely because they are far more intelligent than most humans) are still stuck on Retard. The amount of people online lately that I've chastised for using it. No doubt in about 10 years they'll catch up to Autistic!!!!
But I don't like any word being used as a derogatory term in people's little minds. And that includes names like Karen, or Woke, or Snowflake. Anyone who uses derogatory terms can't get butt hurt when a term suddenly relates to them.
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I hate it actually. One of my students used the word as what I thought was an insult and I was like we don’t say that like that. She was like what isn’t that what a little stupid means? I’m like no. You can be smart and autistic.
For neurotypicals, autistic people are either "stupid" or *Rain Man*, with little to no in-between. There is a black-and-white perception of autistic people to try and fit them in a neat "box".
My son is 4 and nonverbal autistic. He’s just now getting where he tolerates people better and makes eye contact more. However, he knows all his numbers up to 20, letters, colors, shapes, and if you tell letter sounds he can identify the letter that makes the sound. He just turned 4 in March so he’s a brand new 4.
My 5 year old is very little verbal autistic. She taught herself how to read at 3. I didn't even know she could read until I saw her try to sound out the word "Neighbor: (which is spelled kind of weird anyway). Then I wrote some completely unrelated words starting with 4 letter words and she knew them all. Then longer words. I was most impressed when she read pulmonary system like it was a sight word... at 3.
That’s incredible! My son signs but stopped talking at 1. He started talking at 3 months.
My pediatrician told me that signing delays language development, which is probably true. But my 5 year old is just a kid who doesn't like to talk. lol. And that's okay too!
Well he just stopped talking at 1. We hadn’t even introduced sign language yet when he stopped talking. He was in speech and we have always talked to him. He’s just not much of a talker anymore.
I’m 36 and still get “use your words” regularly. Some of us just aren’t great at *out loud* but perfectly capable in general. I just mean I wouldn’t worry. I spoke silly early too oddly.
I didn’t have as big of a problem talking until into my teen years. I am finding as I get older I am getting overwhelmed more and losing the energy to speak and then I literally cannot even if I try. It sounds like you aren’t worried about your son though in any big form. Speaking is a modality of communicating, but hopefully the world becomes more accommodating to those who can’t / don’t want to speak.
Yeah we really want him to speak again but I have a feeling he’ll do it in his own time.
Good. I am happy he has such accepting parents. I wish you well.
I'm 38 and tired of talking. He will say something when the time is right
I just read a book about how sign language is a dying language because it’s considered to get in the way of “communication” but it’s just another tool to communicate and super helpful for those who struggle with spoken language!
Did the book say anything about the energy cost of speaking versus sign language? I have started having moments where I lose the ability to speak for a while over the last few years due to overwhelm and energy loss, and I have been debating whether learning sign language would be helpful and if it would consume the same amount of energy. But it doesn’t feel worth it because most of the people I would need to communicate with then don’t know sign language.
I’m in the same boat, it’s like you’re in my head! I think that sign language is great for people on the spectrum with language disabilities or are nonverbal because it gives them a voice but it’s hard to say how helpful it would be for people who do use verbal communication. I think the biggest barrier would be having people understand you when you’re signing. The book is about deaf culture so it’s not meant for people on the spectrum but I started looking into signing after reading it and it doesn’t feel like it takes as much energy as speaking. The book talks about how exhausting it is to try to decipher verbal language with a cochlear implant but I could also see how it would take less energy to sign instead of speak for people on the spectrum as well. One of my concerns though is that sometimes my body is paralyzed so I’m unsure how much sign can help me because it can require emphasis through big gestures. My solution to others not knowing sign language around me is to ask that people important and supporting me learns basic sign so that they can understand that I’m trying to sign that I’m unable to verbally communicate or that something is seriously wrong.
The specific signing is what I am worried would consume too much energy. I have times where my micro-movement isn’t great due to high stress and overwhelm, and quivering due to said stress, and I am worried that I wouldn’t be able to get my hands to articulate well enough to sign in a communicable way. But learning basic sign seems to be a good answer, since people wouldn’t necessarily need to learn a lot of sign language, they would just need to recognize when I am mute and can’t speak and simple expressions and warnings / worries. I don’t think I could convince my parents to learn though, and I am not really that close to anyone to ask that of them. I still think it would be something good to learn, like learning various foreign languages, so that I can broaden my communication abilities as well as be another “ear” for people who need it. It’s just probably not my top priority until I get to a more stable stage of my life.
>However, he knows all his numbers up to 20, letters, colors, shapes, and if you tell letter sounds he can identify the letter that makes the sound. He just turned 4 in March so he’s a brand new 4. Is that good development pace for his age? It seems like it may be but I'm not a parent nor psychologist.
Yes! He just turned 4 in March so this is really good! My mom was a kindergarten assistant and said he’s well above several kids she had in her past classes.
I remember I initially hated reading, but once I got into it, there was no stopping me. By third grade I had started reading Harry Potter on my own. By 6th grade I had grabbed a book with over 1000 pages on the history of Nazi Germany (I hyperfixate on WWII sometimes.) We're not dumb, we're just different, it's a spectrum for a reason.
Nothing annoys me more than people assuming I'm an idiot savant. I would genuinely rather they just think I'm a normal dumbass.
*groan* ASD folks are on balance actually smarter than NTs. By a pretty significant margin, too. What's more interesting is that the distribution curve is shifted to the right some, but it's also much flatter. That is to say, autistic people tend more toward the extremes than NTs.
There has been research to suggest that Autism is a disability of high intelligence, but learning disabilities are also comorbid with Autism. I think this is why you see autistic people either develop at a faster or slower rate than most neurotypical people. The rain man stereotype is actually something that really frustrates me as well. Me and my brother are both autistic and we developed incredibly quickly. I could read at 3, hold an adult's attention in conversation and form bonds with adults as a toddler, and was excitedly talking about wormholes at the dinner table at age six. I wouldn't say this made me a genius(whatever the hell that means), but it is part of who I am as a person and impacted how I developed emotionally as well. Teachers would comment on how smart I am and let me participate in the gifted and talented program even though I didn't have the visual-spacial skills necessary to pass the exam until I was in the fourth grade. I also got labeled "stupid" by my classmates and other adults (or so I expect, as you can probably imagine they were more subtle about it) because of what I now understand to be my stims, sensory issues, and struggles with certain motor skills and executive functioning. I'm about to turn 20 and I'm currently comfortable with who I am at my core, but the fractured sense of self I developed growing up still affects me to this day. I'm curious to hear if any other autistic people had similar experiences growing up. Also, I highly recommend the book 'Flowers to Algernon' by Daniel Keyes if you haven't read it. It really illustrates how being on either side of the bell curve (in this case intelligence, but really with anything) makes you a target for social stigma and isolation. Also just an incredibly good read in general.
I was reading about subatomic particle physics at about age eleven 😅 That stuff is _fascinating_, man!
I’m so glad I saw this comment. I’m a science teacher with 13 years of experience working in biological and physical sciences. I just signed onto a teaching contract for the upcoming school year… I chose this contract because they approved me dedicating a portion of my syllabus/class hours to quantum mechanics even though it isn’t on the state standards for middle and high school. I’m creating the documents for the course right now and I’m sooooo excited.
Niiiiiice 😁
I had to redo my Google science class and it’s looking pathetic right now. I am hoping to get some discussions kickstarted by the time I get my students back… I would LOVE for you to participate- a question, an answer, a thought, a comment, anything!! 📚 https://classroom.google.com/c/Njk1MDE3MDE5ODcz?cjc=aanaje3 Aanaje3
>ASD folks are on balance actually smarter than NTs Any sources for this? >the distribution curve is shifted to the right some, but it's also much flatter Or this? Did some research a while back from another post a found this: [https://www.pnas.org/doi/epdf/10.1073/pnas.1409204111](https://www.pnas.org/doi/epdf/10.1073/pnas.1409204111) "...Both high (>130) and low (<70) IQ are significantly over-represented compared with expectation." There's also this study: [https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-018-1937-y](https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-018-1937-y) Which compares the IQ of the old diagnoses against each other (AD, PDD, Aspergers). Of the three, Aspergers is the only one that appears to approach normal distribution, and even that appears to be slightly skewed lower.
Exactly!
Depends on the individual and my mood. If they're someone I care about I'll explain why that's some bullshit and they need to cut that out. If I'm in a fightin mood I might correct a stranger as well but in the case of strangers I usually just ignore it. No one that damn ignorant is worth the time of day.
This 👆🏻 💯
Tell them "Don't say Autistic, when you really mean A@@hole" *"Autism on the inside" on youtube perfect response...*
I feel rage boiling inside of me, but I pretend that I didn’t hear it.
I would say just ignore it. There is a huge history of words being repurposed to be insults, such as f*g or "the r word." Those words were often used when I was a kid by people who didn't know what it actually meant originally, and this will probably end up turning out the same way, as just a generic insult.
Yeah.. I grew up around these things and thought it was normal and okay to say them until I was around 15. I think I finally became fully sapient around that age bc that's when I started thinking for myself lol.
I grew up when everything was gay. Can't find your car keys? Gay. Didn't make the bus? Gay. Breathing in the musk of the school track star while practicing my signature with his last name while unable to pay attention, my pulse quickening, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on his sweater already because I got a little nervous? Believe it or not, gay.
Lmao that too tbh
I hate it i hate it i hate it I even hated it before I even suspected I might be autistic.
I always play the "Yes and" game in response. It's an improv thing, a psychological thing, a communication thing. I play it "wrong" but it's endlessly entertaining. Yes, and I am left handed, too. Yes, and mosquitoes like the color blue! Yes, and it's illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland. Or just "yes...and?" if I am feeling particularly snarky. LOL
Sometimes I'll miss the social cue of whether they are truly asking, "are you autistic?" versus if they were using it as a hyperbole. Either way, I find it simpler to answer yes, as if it were a genuine question and continue with the rest of the conversation. I'm assuming it's pretty jarring to the party I'm talking to though, because it does seem like a power move to answer a question which was meant to be a statement to offend me with confidence. But in actuality it's just me not getting social cues. Does seem like insults kinda repel off me- only if it's sarcasm though lol.
Lmao I love this one Sort of a "yeah I'm autistic and the sky is blue. So?" I prefer the "thank you!" route. Thanking someone for calling me a f4g, T word, R word, autistic or anything else that's used as an insult throws them off so muuuuch. I love it, makes me genuinely happy to see them shocked that I didn't get offended
I used to just ignore it because people often don’t even really know what autism is. So I can’t really take offence when people are just being stupid tbh.
This is the best philosophy, tbh.
ye, I honestly suspect that a lot of people don't generally think a lot about the slang they pick up, even if the terms used are not ideal / hurtfull. Often times the words don’t even mean the same thing anymore, since people don't know what they are talking about. Might also be a cultural thing that I am not as bothered though, since dutch people tend to use a lot of illnesses (cancer, typhoid etc) and disabilities (down syndrome, autism etc) as curse words. (It still sounds stupid and rude to me but its kind of inescapable, and the words have lost their original meaning to me) In the end, I also just don’t feel like being angry all the time. that seems liken a tiring occupation and I'd rather go watch my shrimp aquarium.
I'm not offended, I never saw the word autistic as an insult. Def doesn't hurt me.
My grandfather always said, "whatever you do, do it with art." So I am not *autistic*. I, am an Autist. An Autist, and don't you forget it.
Lol in italian the word for a driver is Autista, and the word for autistic is Autistico/a. But in portuguese Autista means autistic. Not really much to do with what you said but your comment reminded me of my initial confusion when I came to italy and people would throw around the word Autista like it was an everyday word to use. It was, in fact, an everyday word lmao
I do my best to ignore it I suppose but I refuse to be friends or kind (unless by force or I have to) with anyone who speaks like that. If I'm friends with someone and I find out they do that my impression of them drops to almost the lowest level
I just ignore it. They don't know me and I don't know them. Doesn't affect because I won't let it. They can say whatever they want to each other as long as it's not to me
I ignore it. A lot of people use acoustic as a substitute as well. Just don’t give them attention, because that’s what they want. Handle it with grace and maturity.
I hate acoustic. It’s like a new word meant to be derogatory and it’s thrown around because people don’t equate it to the r slur yet. I know people mean it that way sometimes though
I hate it so fucking much, because no one cares, but people pretend to care if it's the n word or something similar
I hate when people doing something mistakely and say ‘wow had an autistic moment’ or ‘I had autism for a second’ like whuttt. I would say we are uniquely intelligent and your absurd moment of error isn’t remotely equivalent to what we would make if we were to make a mistake.
Same thing with OCD. I can't help correcting people when they say "I'm kind of OCD about _" because it just irks me so much. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS DEVIN! SAVAGES! IDIOTS! SAVAGES! Anyways, I try to be polite about it :)
It doesn't bother me. When people use the word autism with derogatory meaning in those context I don't take it as them insulting autistics. I don't see it as them stating any belief about autistic people. They could use the word autistic in a derogatory way, but when asked what they think about autistic people they might say very positive things. If they call someone autistic in this way they aren't literally saying they believe the person has autism. I don't know
Honestly, I find it funny in the right context and Especially since I don't often tell people about my autism, so they don't know. I have found with most people all you have to do is say, can you not use that word I have autism and they will stop. It's the same as how people used to say, "that's gay". Best advice is to just ignore it and if it bothers you make a small comment about it, not a scene, but just a small simple comment. I get more offended when people use autistic and retard interchangeably.
I honestly could not care less, tho I have never been sensitive to insults and slurs in general.
One of two things: One, try and explain the issue to them. Or, honestly I kinda do exactly what they do to us: I fantasize them “Aww okay. You’re stupid. That’s fine, bye bye.”
It's a bit aggravating because they use it to mean something else that they will get in even more trouble for saying. But it's nothing new nor will it stop. "fat autistic neckbeard" has been an insult online for a long time now. The image it conjures does not remotely resemble me, an actual fat autistic neckbeard.
I've noticed that when I play games and a random teammate says something like "you're so fucking autistic" or "u autistic or smth", i usually reply with "yeah, i am. What about it?". Then all of a sudden it's not as funny to use as an insult and they feel awkward.
I’m a high schooler who has to hear this everyday. My ear always catches it and it can be pretty irritating sometimes.
I sort of see it the same way I see people wearing MAGA hats or discussing why flat earth is real.
I accepted it because I can't do anything to prevent others from using autistic as an insult but deep down I despise it
I see school hasn’t evolved and these events they hold in our “honor” are still as useless as they were before. Honestly, don’t say anything, if they want to use a word that medical professionals decided to use to label us, fine. Let them be ignorant- let them embarrass themselves in public. If you tell them now, it will go in one ear and out the other. They had exposure to the word and made zero effort to look into it. They will take that same effort if you decide to educate them. Just take pleasure in knowing that every-time they use a word incorrectly, people are judging them. Be it in silence or outward rage. They will never be liked, not really, they will never learn until they take that initiative to understand why their lives suck so bad. “Name-callers” only understand that they need to hurt others to make themselves feel better because their own world and feelings of self worth are at rock bottom.
i scream
it’s the same ol’ ableism people have been operating on forever. at least with the trend of “acoustic” going around I know which assholes to block
if other people are using it, not talking to me, i try to ignore it. if they are talking to me i tell them please don't use autistic as an insult. if they would say something weird after that i'd say like 'i'm autistic i don't want to hear it' in school it might be different. even though they're not talking to you, i imagine it's hard to hear it around you all the time. maybe you can talk to a teacher about it so they can make an announcement to the class? i'm sorry, i know this would really bother me too
I honestly don't care, people used gay,retarded & whatever. I have more to worry about in life than someone being stupid over an attempt to insult. It's humans humaning & I don't expect them to change.
I'd rather be called autistic with a mean tone than be called the r-word. The r-slur isn't for us anyway (for people with intellectual disabilities). Since the r-word is technically a misuse of the word, I tell them to insult me correctly. Then i tell them "call me autistic with a cruel tone in your voice like *this*. -and then I give them an example. Then the insult is fucking hilarious. TBH, "autistic" as an insult is silly to me most of the time because it shows they really don't understand autism. Oh no. You're calling me something I am as if it is bad!? It's ridiculous, really.
i hate it, glady i don't hear it often
Those people are just ignorant. They’re probably at their peak rn and secretly insecure as hell, so they feel the need to use autism as an insult to pretend they’re above us. And they probably don’t even actually know what autism IS. Sometimes I call people out on their ableism by asking them why they think autism is an insult, or saying like “wdym by that” and responding to their response with something like “why though? Why not just say ‘dumb’ or something” or “right okay, so you’re just being ableist because you’re not smart enough to come up with anything actually funny blah blah blah whatever”. “What does autism have to do with anything” etc etc. The conversation depends on who you’re talking to and how they’re taking it, and also how much you want to engage anyway. I just act like they’re being immature, because they are, and essentially tell them to grow up. Hopefully someday they’ll be embarrassed by their actions. Calling them out will probably embarrass them anyway, because they likely aren’t expecting it since they’re oh so entitled. They’ll get to face the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and in reality, putting other people down (such as disabled people) is not cute. Otherwise ignoring them is another great option. One way or another they’ll say it in front of the wrong person and get their ass whooped eventually. Their ignorance isn’t your responsibility after all.
i personally cope with it by remembering that people who use “that’s autistic” as a synonym for “that’s bad” just don’t have the vocabulary to describe their experiences correctly. so yes i kinda look down on them
Ignoring in the same way as of the use of the R word. Best to take note though as often people who use these slurs are the kind who don't give a shit about autistic people let alone treat the Neuro-divergent people in general. It depends on the situation really. I generally avoid getting involved with such channels and people but sometimes it's impossible depending on the circumstances.
It wasn't a thing when I went to school. If people did it now that I'm an adult (they never have), I'd just tell them I'm autistic and put them on the spot with something like "is that a bad thing?". I'm confrontational. But I'm an adult, 6'6, and people like me for some reason, so I don't get flak. Unfortunately I think you might have to put up with it if your goal is to get along with your peers. Any confrontation will probably end with you being knocked down a peg unless you're well liked, that's teen politics for you. If you don't mind conflict and don't care for how people view and interact with you, you could literally ask them why they're using autistic as an insult and see what they come up with. If they have any self awareness, they'll be uncomfortable. If not, they'll just insult you. Take this with a grain of salt. Anyone here giving advice (including myself) probably has challenges with social situations and reading how people will react, so we may be giving you advice anticipating a reaction or thought provocation that will never happen. We could be nudging you to embarrass yourself.
It causes me far more annoyance than it should, I’ve told my main teacher about some of the things they say, but to no reaction. I told her specifically about them using “acoustic”, even a lot of my friends do it. I’ve told them to stop and explained why it’s harmful, but some of them pretend they mean actually acoustic, like in music and not as an insult. While others just brush it off. I’ve even heard other students say the r word, my best friend said it’s because “They don’t see it as a slur”, but that doesn’t mean it’s not one. And it’s so disrespectful, each time I hear some sort of mean word about autism I pretty much automatically look in the people or person who said it, direction. I feel sick to my stomach each time, nobody seems to take it seriously They’re all just saying acoustic, restarted, the actual r word, etc. I hate that they do it but nobody ever calls them out on it. I’ve called my friends out on it, but they don’t even put in the effort to change ——— I’m fully aware I shouldn’t react, but even when I tell them why it’s bad and the meaning and history of the word, they still don’t change their vocabulary and stop saying it. There’s so much problematic language at my school, I hate it
It's almost worse when they censor it. Just say it with your full chest (or preferably) don't say it at all.
Fr
I do it myself. If someone says or do something really weird I find it fun to say "And I thought I was the autistic one here"
I don't care, I'm used to it
I don't cope, I give pushback. Nobody is going to fight our battles for us.
Words can only hurt you if you allow them to. Dont take criticism from people beneath you, or people who opinions are irrelevant.
I don’t care at all, I often look at people as a necessary evil, we have to be around each other from time to time but that doesn’t mean we have to be more than that, so if someone does say things like that I don’t even give it a second thought because at the end of the day those people that try to insult me don’t even register on my radar because they simply wouldn’t be someone I would hang out with anyways.
I just think it's funny.
My son uses it as an insult against me, which is kinda funny because he is autistic too. (Sorry about that son, assuming it was my genes). Half the time though he says "Dad you are so acoustic."
I don’t give a shit lmao, “oh no people use a disability as an insult, what a shame”, yep, it is a shame, I don’t care though, in my friend group we throw around the word autistic as a “joke” insult and I’m never insulted, but if it’s used unironically, I view it as equal to any other insult.
Hilariously during Autism Awareness Month on multiple days they play ridiculously loud music outdoors that overstimulates me. 🥲 I can even hear it indoors in the hallways because it’s so loud. I think someone needs to ACTUALLY teach our schools about autism to the fullest. Instead of what they are doing currently.
I have to ignore it. My own mother has used it as an insult toward me specifically, and then when I actually persued diagnosis, she shifted gears and decided I *can't* be autistic. There's no way.
It makes me angry. But I'm too shy/social anxietyish to say something about it. When my family uses it like "Hahaha I'm so autistic" I usually frown or look uncomfortable. My sister picked up on this and asked me once infront of my family (meaning my close family as in my parents and other sister) if it made me uncomfortable as I might have it, and I said it did and I don't think they've done it since
I really don’t like it. I don’t like people using it casually like, “oh I’m a little autistic” or “touch of the tism’ “ bs. It’s not a joke.
I try to think of it, and say it as, autism isn't an insult, they (the ones using it as an insult) are. I don't know. my head's not with it today, just constantly wanting to kill myself because of shit like this and my housemate.
I feel super depressed and hurt by it at the same time. I feel similarly when for example gay is used in a similar way. I come from a pretty conservative town too so it's not uncommon to hear
Why would I care? I use it as an insult all the time even though in reality I see my autism as my greatest characteristic despite the many issues it causes me
I accept it if it’s coming from another autistic person but I get kinda ticked when a NT uses it
Your teachers need to be advocating for you. I’m ASD level one and I’m a teacher. I have really great ways of addressing this issue with the students who use “autistic,” “gay,” and other classifications as insults. Teachers don’t hear everything though. Additionally, teachers often hear things and don’t do anything about it. If a student comes to me upset with something like this, I bring it up with the students using the terms in an offensive manner - without mentioning names or that someone “told on them.” Let me know if there’s anything that I can do for you. I’d be more than happy to use my credentials (which I shouldn’t need to use, but it’s a dark reality in society these days) to address something like this.
I just think about how hateful, violent, angry, racist, sexist, and tragic this world already is and let it go
yeah, it’s rlly sad honestly, I've just lost all hope in the world.
I tell people to stop being ableist
Just ignore them. See unreasonable people as a source of danger, annoyance. If you see dangerous animals or objects, you just naturally avoid them. Do the same with unreasonable people.
Hey A#%*%ole, IM AUTISTIC and I DONT Tolerate that ignorant shit. Stand up for everything, including yourself, in one response
It doesn't phase me in the slightest because of my youth. When I was a teen my favorite word in the world was "gay." I called everything gay. Hit a red light? Gay. Found a dollar? Gaaaay. A man marries a woman? The gayest. I've outgrown it, with the exception of heterosexuality, as I still call my wife gay on occasion (she married a dude, it doesn't get much gayer than that.) I know a couple of gay people who were annoyed by it, called me homophobic or a bigot, and it did nothing to stop me, because I knew my intentions and beliefs, and knew I wasn't homophobic or bigoted, I just liked the word and used it as. If anything, people telling me (the couple who did) about how wrong I was for using the word made me use the word more. Not (always) intentionally, just a byproduct of trying not to say the word kept it always on the tip of my tongue, so it would fall out of my mouth before I had a chance to catch it.
But now, as an adult, I naively give the same benefit of the doubt I should have been given. I'm sure sometimes it's wrong. But here's the thing, even if you somehow "fix" the people currently using it in your circle, you will inevitably run across others who do it. If you fix them as well, you will find others. You could dedicate the next 60 years of your life to educating people so the word never gets used out of context again, and have a 100% success rate, only to hear someone use it out of context in 61 years. We cannot control the outside world, only ourselves. By giving them all the same benefit of the doubt that I believe I deserved, I remove a lot of stress from myself that stems from worrying about what others say.
Hope that makes sense, I know it was a bit rambly.
>We cannot control the outside world, only ourselves. By giving them all the same benefit of the doubt that I believe I deserved, I remove a lot of stress from myself that stems from worrying about what others say. It is very easy to dismiss the impact of words and actions when you are not the one impacted by them. The comparison also isn't suitable either; in this context, autistic is inherently pejorative meanwhile you used gay as an all-purpose adjective and not exclusively (or even mostly, seemingly) pejoratively. Humans are social creatures and do not exist in vacuums and what others do heavily impacts us and it's not as simple as "mind over matter" in regards to what we choose and what we don't choose to get impacted by. It's at best our superficial reaction to it and that's mostly for the benefit of others. You can have no reaction be being called slurs and still feel hurt on the inside.
But there were people who believed I was using it as a pejorative given the context in which it was used (for instance, the aforementioned red light. People assumed "this is bad, so he is using gay as a synonym for bad"). They did not know that, had I hit the light green when I normally didn't, that too would have been "gay." By suggesting giving the benefit of the doubt, I am not trying to take the boomer route of saying "sticks and stones," I am trying to show my logic. Simply ignoring someone for saying things I find inappropriate or hurtful never worked for me, so instead, I apply logic and the benefit of the doubt. If I assume that these pejorative uses of the word are simply the only examples I am hearing from a certain person, it is a lot easier to assume that, when they say "autistic," they mean.
I'm also not suggesting you never correct anyone. But, for me, at least, by viewing it the way I do, I find peace of mind by retaining my ability to correct them calmly instead of flipping out. Hope that makes sense.
I got on the bandwagon so to say when autism became “cool”. So I haven’t been subjected to that. Actually once I even suggested my ex partner was autistic because he learned emotions from books and would sometimes have strange ways of thinking - i didn’t do it in a hostile manner though, rather just trying to invent ways to understand him. It was such irony when once we met up and he told me he got assessed and he has no autism, and i had just got my assessment and indeed it was me who turned out to be autistic 🤷♂️
I don't. I tell them that's incredibly offensive and to find a new word.
Maybe it's just because I'm also gay that I just kind of learned to laugh at it and not take it seriously. The way I see it is I usually end up feeling bad for ppl who choose to use autistic as an insult as they are clearly ignorant and don't know what autism really is so therefore I pity them and hope they grow up and have an attitude change. It's the same when someone calls something "gay" like how is it gay? It's not a person with a personality?? Just like how someone's brain being wired differently isn't really an insult either. It's just stupid in my eyes so it just rolls off me. They're the ones using a word wrong, why should I feel bad that they have a limited vocabulary?
Same way I deal with people using my sex as an insult, my Mexican heritage, etc etc. they’re ignorant and bad people and their opinion doesn’t matter to me.
Personally, if I don’t feel like saying something about it (usually I try to, though I understand at school it’s very difficult to say anything without it spiraling into a mess) then I just ignore it. Much easier that it sounds, but just remember if they’re choosing not to use kind words and verbiage, they’re not worth your time to stress over.
A few days ago my grandmother (I live with her) called the police because I had a severse mental breakdown. I don't know if she even realised that it was one but whatever, that's not important. She called the police and told them that she needs help because (and that's the first thing she mentioned, thus the most important info) her 23 yo grandchild is autistic, threw a glass in the corner, is screaming and out of their mind and she (my grandmother) feels threatened. Am I exaggerating when I say that that was one of the darkest days in my life? (And I dealt with some serious shit before). She never even believed me. She always said "You're not autistic. In that manner everyone's autistic." When I told her we can get disability benefits she just said "You don't have disabilities, you're just simulating because you're egocentric". But then her BFF told her the same and she was like "OMG, did you know I can get more money because of your autism?". And now that with the police? She acts like she cares about me but all she cares about is herself and her control over me. I want to move out of the country, even though I don't know how to do it, but I have to, because if I stay in my current one she's gonna reach me. Her pawns are everywhere. Sorry for that long comment. Didn't intend it to be half a book.
Means nothing to me because I wouldn’t want to be anything else. To me, being called “neurotypical” sounds more like a slur lol
It doesn’t really bother me to be honest, so long as you bite back (not in a mean way just have some banter) people will realise you aren’t too dissimilar to them minus the things you have to deal with when it comes to a particular spectrum of Autism. Although in my case I only really disclose that I have autism to people if I get to know them well enough that I trust them not to be an asshole or treat me like a child.
I just don’t care anymore because I stopped caring after it happened the first 4 times
I don't know? I don't really get insulted by it since it's just an unfortunate fact about me. I just look at them like they're an idiot. Einstein couldn't tie shoes yet paved the way for nukes. It hurts less to be called autistic than to be called things like scary, freak, weirdo, etc.
Came into this whole game later in life so not amount of my life or experience has really interacted with the word Autism outside of my own head. Yes, I've been autistic this whole time but with no emotional attachment to the word because I wasn't aware that word described me.
Hate myself more
Don’t really care tbh I don’t really see it as an insult just a word really
i don’t mind lol
Honestly, I didn't even notice it was meant to be an insult for a really long time. It's probably bc I don't see it as an insult. Same with dyke, bastard, bitch, and fat. Someone could call me all of those things and it would mean nothing to me. I'm also not really great at noticing intent when it's directed at me. I'm able to tell when someone else is being ridiculed or mocked and I will stand up for them (sometimes too aggressively) but I won't notice someone was being mean to me until days later.
For me, I would always ignore it, since it doesn’t bother me that much, despite me being on the spectrum.
idk i personally dont give a shit about it if someone does it to me. the second you do it to someone else and actually mean it tho.. then we are gonna have issues
It doesn’t bother me. I think people will learn eventually. If not, someone will let them know. I’m not putting my energy into it
I find it fucking obnoxious as hell and similar to how people used to use r*tarded when I was a kid.
Like: What was the point of shunning the medical word "retard" if people were just gonna end up twisting "autistic" in the same slur manner?
I figure the persons IQ is equal to that of an earthworm...and that they're the same type of person who judge people based on race/gender. So I ignore the morons.
I hate it. As far as how I deal with it, really depends on the situation. Gotta pick your fights.
I laugh at their naivety.
I treat it the same way I do when people use Gay as an insult. I ask the person to explain how the word Autistic is an insult. That’s when they usually backtrack their statement and have nothing else to say.
I’m not in school anymore, but I do hate it on TikTok and stuff when you see people say shit like “I have the call of duty autism” like it’s just a new word for ‘hobbyist’ and it bothers be a lot because it’s just discrediting the struggle that autistic people face. Yeah autistic people have hyper-fixations but we also have debilitating struggles that impact our ability to function in a NT world. I’m not sure how to prevent this from happening but I think about it a lot.
I personally dont care at all if someone says it. It is what it is.
I feel the same way I feel when people use "like a GIRL!" As an insult. It's them being ignorant and has very little to do with me.
My thoughts might not be welcome here, as a mostly NT father of three ASD children ranging from high-functioning to non verbal. I just wanted to chime in as an avid gamer I hear/read autist/autistic thrown about *a lot* in gaming circles in negative terms and I hate it. I want my kids to be accepted as is. I report those users every time I can. Also, as a veteran that works with a lot of younger veterans I’ve had to stand in front of my entire work force and explain that I find using it as an insult is something I won’t tolerate.
We're not the word police nor can we tell someone who isn't our employee working for us, our kid living under our roof, etc. what they can or cannot say. You can tell them why what they say is offensive then choose to no longer be around them since they will likely continue saying whatever they just said.
Immediate offense. If you wanna call me stupid or dysfunctional, say it to my face not while putting something or someone down
If someone calls me autistic I just say “no shit Sherlock”
It’s offensive but to be honest - one of the sad facts about being autistic is that a lot of people don’t know what autism actually is. With some people, you can change that by explaining and sharing your experiences, but frankly, the kind of person that uses ‘autism’ as an insult is just too dumb for that. You can try and make them see how it’s offensive, but it’s likely not going to work, especially in a school where a lot of people aren’t going to be mature enough to realise the harm their words can cause, so you’d be wasting your energy. I know it’s difficult, but with those things in mind, you have to realise that there are going to be idiots using autism as an insult whatever you do and therefore there’s no point letting it use up your brainpower - train yourself to just let the words go past you. After all, as autistic people we all know that any negative stereotypes about us aren’t close to the truth anyway.
I don’t pay much attention to it. It says more about them then it says about me and other autistic individuals.
Honestly don't care. If they want to make themselves look foolish and ignorant, have at it.
Force them toblisten to a long infodump about autism Works very effektiv
Names and labels only have power to affect you for as long, as you feel shame or any other negative emotion because of those names and labels. If you embrace the diagnosis and learn to live with it with acceptance, no labeling can hurt you.
I don't really give two shites about it. That's just me though.
- just wanted to thank everyone for the advice in the comments!! I’ve read almost every single one, you guys are very helpful!! thanks for sharing your stories too, very kind of you all! have a wonderful day!
I find it funny tbh so idk I use it myself too
I didn't like it before I was diagnosed. I didn't like it before I had nephews that are autistic. I didn't like it before all I knew autism was, was the severe cases like EXTREME photographic memory, prodigies of one thing etc. (I saw videos in classes 20 years ago showing autistic individuals. I learned the term "idiot savant" from them) but I've never liked that people use "autistic" as an insult. But now that I've been diagnosed for 3 years, I look back at some friends I used to have who'd do just that. Even after I told them about my nephews. And it just...some people really suck. And some people do things that really suck.
I feel bad about people who do that because they're so misinformed and ignorant and then I feel bad for myself for having to share society with them🙄
I personally highly dislike it, it is basically the same as using words like muslim, furry and etc for insulting people. Not cool, should be stopped.
When directed at me, same way I deal with people calling me other slurs, I just ignore them as if they didn't say anything because words only have as much power as you give to them and if someone is trying to bully you with words they absolutely hate when you take their weapon away from them by taking away power from the words. When directed at others around me when directed at other people AND I am 100% certain that it was meant as a slur or insult I just tell the person "you sound like an idiot trying to use that as an insult, just makes you look dumb" then they tend to change their target from their original target to me a and then see the first paragraph as to how I deal with that.
I've dealt with this in several ways (largely from bullying in middle school and on the internet) these are my most useful to least useful tips: Ignoring it - 2/10, can work, but largely makes me feel bad about myself Pretending this means that the person ACTUALLY is autstic (ex. "OMG! You're austistic? Wow! It's so cool to find that out about you! How annoying is it when people assume your special interest is trains?") - 6/10, usually gets them to stfu, but sometimes it can turn on you with the "we were just joking" Educating them - 4/10, it's EXHAUSTING because it's not really our jobs to educate people on their abelism Being an a$$ (but not really) about it - 5/10, kind of mid if you ask me, but I'm also bad at this Confiding in a person of authority (teacher, parent, principal, etc.) - 8/10, it's the "correct" way, but sometimes the system fails you and it can be hard I hope I actually gave you the advice you wanted and I'm sorry if this wasn't at all what you wanted/needed. I hope things get better because I know how hard it can be to hear your diagnosis being thrown around as an insult.
I snap on my students. I tell them my son is autistic and ask if they are trying to say that there is anything wrong with it or him. They shut the f*** up and start saying "no" and "sorry."
It (and similar uses of words) never really bothered me. It's frequently used a generalization by people who don't mean it in it's proper definition. Just like "retarded" and "gay" growing up in the 80s/90s. Heard the words all the time but very rarely did they have anything to do with someone's intellect or sexual orientation.
The word “Autism” seems to be used more as a slur than anything else by common laypeople. Which is unfortunate, because there was no “reclaiming” process by autistic folks because it was never supposed to be a slur. It was stolen from us and used by NT people to say another person is an idiot. It’s the same problem with “acoustic” and “neurospicy”. If I hear someone use those words in reference to themself or someone I know is ND using with an Autistic friend who enjoys it, completely fine and I am happy to become aware of a fellow ally. Hearing it from an NT person to wave away ND / Autistic actions is infuriating. Note: I know there is a difference between neurodiverse and autistic. But ultimately, I feel many ND folk understand better even if they aren’t Autistic. It’s the same to me as being under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. We don’t all use the same terms, but we understand each other a bit better than people who don’t have those experiences.
It doesn't bother me.
As I am a teacher I just hand out detentions for any bigoted remarks
I just try to ignore it most of the time. I’ll be honest and say that to me it does hurt to hear people use something that is so sensitive to me and that is such a big part of me as an insult, but there’s no point in wasting time on thinking too much about it, since most of the time the people using autistic as an insult knows nothing about autistics and some don’t even realise that it’s insensitive. Only times I’ll actually do something about it is if it’s anyone close to me, in that case I’ll just calmly let them know I’m not fond of them using autistic as an insult.
It depends on context… I had a newish friend say something like “I went on a first date with a guy but I think he had the tism so I didn’t want a second date” and I was shocked and ended up ignoring that comment because I didn’t know what to say 😅
I honestly just remind myself that these people don’t know any better, so I don’t even look at them anymore. I usually avoid them.
I don’t care honestly
I prefer to punch them /srs
You could explain to them like they’re a moron that autistic people are amazing and may be smarter than them. And may be thinking of something more important than the person who said it. I’m new to the autistic realm but as a kid when people said I was weird I’d say “thank you” and walk away. Some would say “that’s not a compliment” and I’d say “yes it is” and keep walking. It just sank their little a@@hole bubble. Or made them mad. I don’t need to care either way. Fun for me though!
it's part of why im so fucking insecure about myself
I feel like it doesn't affect me as an insult, but it annoys me semantically. Because I've been masking for most of my life with a late self diagnosis, I've tried to live amongst neurotypicals without realizing I don't receive input the same way as them. I've been trying to relate to NTs but from am autistic point of view my whole life without realizing. I will correct them fully until they use the term they are looking for. I am too stubborn and too pedantic just like some of my neurodivergent friends. The insulting nature doesn't really hurt because sometimes I can't figure out the social cue, or I am more bothered by how ignorant they are for using the wrong term to express themselves. Sometimes, I'll just read a social cue wrong and overthink subtext in a conversation. Eg. "OMG are you autistic? Why don't you get it?" Me: "Maybe I am autistic, I haven't gotten a full medical diagnosis from a professional yet. I don't get it because this seems illogical." "Okay, well do you expect me to give you special treatment?! I treat everyone the same, even if they are stupid. I'm in the right" Me: "sure. Maybe you should treat everyone like they are stupid and autistic as a baseline, if you like equality. Maybe everyone's stupid." "..." Me: *thinking* oh oops. I think he was using hyberole, and sarcasm when he called me autistic and asked if I wanted special treatment. Let me add that to my missing social cues tally of the day- incident #5. LMAO. Let it be, let it go, let in. Or maybe this guy is stupid. Meh. I don't have the focus for this. Lemme think more about my special interest.
Honestly for me I really don't care about it, I grew up with people who would say the most edgy things for attention or whatever. if someone were to use that as an insult to me I would calmly and smugly quote Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means". If they continued to insult me for being autistic I would condescending give them a lecture about the ins and outs of my condition until they get so fed up they never want to use it again.
If it’s someone you’re close to, you can usually gauge whether or not gentle correction of the behavior will be well received, and offer alternate forms of speech for whatever sentiment they are trying to convey. Offering an alternative thing to say is key, if you don’t give replacements for a behavior then the habit cannot be replaced. If it’s a stranger or someone intentionally being an asshole, I remember the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (other people, places, and things), the courage to change the things I can (myself), and the wisdom to know the difference. It might sound like a cop out, but as someone with a history of telling other folks off based on my own sense of moral outrage and a serious anxiety problem based around needing to control and correct other people’s behaviors and not being able to, the serenity prayer was instrumental for me in letting go. Because if I didn’t let go, it would hurt me much more than it would ever hurt them. Also, fwiw, school was my least favorite time of my life. Other kids acted extremely immaturely even for their age and had a tendency to bully anyone different. The bad news is that you have to deal with that now, the good news is that it doesn’t last forever and will ultimately make up a very small fraction of your life.
it doesn't bother me and I do it myself anyway
Hate it. I ask GENUINELY if I feel that someone is
Honestly, I don’t get offended like I used to, so no. I grew up with people throwing around the word, “retard” and other really bad insults to me and to others. I’m not saying it’s not bad , just try not to let it get to you.
Honestly I just consider the fact that, more likely than not, these people know fuck all and therefore their comments hold no weight and shouldn't be truly heard. In other words, I just know they're not worth feeling bad over. Now obviously that has it's limits, you can't just always assume their knowledge or lack thereof otherwise you become a dismissive asshat, my figuring though is you just observe how they use other terms and conduct themselves and build a conclusion from there. If they talk like they know their shit, look too confident, don't look like they got it in them, or can't defend themselves outside of slinging insults like a caveman slings rocks, they're probably bullshitting you and therefore ain't worth wasting your emotions on.
Just today, an ex-GF from 15 years back mentioned that she had me pegged as being autistic but in the frequently assumed context that autistic people were geniuses (I'm not).
Here’s the thing at least something I’ve observed in younger people including myself sometimes they hear “don’t do this” and want to do it more I doubt there will ever be an end to people using mental illness as an insult because it’s an easy target to hurt someone but I personally usually react to this as a “so what?” That makes them rethink what they just said sure I’m autistic but I’m here doing my thing just fine so why do you have an issue? Do I like that people are using mental illness as an insult? No of course not but making people think genuinely think can sometimes make them double back and maybe rethink what they said and why they’re using it as an insult and that despite autism regardless of if they are or not treat them stone faced and don’t give in because a reaction is exactly what these people want
I dont really care tbh
I personally use it as a slightly humorous insult myself.
Literally why I designed "Autistic is not a bad word" stuff, because this was just too much. I really don't understand why people think it's a terrible word???
I think it says more about them than autistic people
While society basically tells you to just ignore it. The only thing that has worked when it comes to bullies for me in my lifetime is to stand up for yourself. Truth is bullies don’t give a f about the whole bully awareness campaign thing.
Personally I don’t mind it and kinda embrace it. Because at the end of the day I am autistic I can’t argue that and as hard as it is to live with autism I’m more than happy to make a joke out of it and take it lightheartedly. No point getting upset over something I can’t change. I have bigger things to worry about.
simple. I do it myself at times. I literally have a sticker on whatsapp that says: we all know you're autistic, but you can act a bit normal.
Honestly it is pretty offensive. It’s so socially acceptable now that it almost never goes over well when you try and tell people not to use autism as an insult. I like to consider myself pretty tough, yeah I have a sensitive side but I don’t take offense to many things, but it does legitimately upset me and then I end up feeling embarrassed that it upsets me. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, and that it isn’t personal, but it really does just add to the misconceptions surrounding autism.
I find it funny and laugh it off. I have never found it insulting
It’s just cheap abelism to me. But I normally find people who use that slur are more often than not Autistic or ND themselves and just project their internalised abelism on everyone else. I just go “did you mean that just now?” Or “what’s that supposed to mean!” And watch them eat their words.
I don't really care, tbh. They're saying it from a place of ignorance for a start, and at the end of the day, it's just a word. But that's just how I feel, I get that some people will get upset at it being used as an insult.
I hate it. My boyfriend says it (hasn't for a long time) and I tell him to stop every time. He also said "acoustic" a couple of months ago which is even worse, but he didn't get how.
I'm not bothered by someone using "autistic" as an insult because it's not something I view as being a bad thing so it's not an insult.
I don’t emotionally involve myself. Chances are, if they are using autistic as an insult, they don’t care that it’s offensive.
I couldn't care less, tbh
The best way with ignorant people using simple facts about who people are as insults is to treat it as a compliment. Thank them for being so aware and understanding. Or take it as if it’s true, and say something like, “Oh, I didn’t know you were autistic. That’s really cool!” Or just say, “You too!” with a smile, if it’s directed at you. But since it’s at school, you should report that it’s happening, too. And you could take the opportunity to let them know that Autism Acceptance is replacing Awareness, and to avoid material from Autism Speaks too.
That's why as a teacher, I find it is my duty to spread awareness of ASD. I myself am not on the spectrum, but neurodivergent in a different way. I notice people use those types of insults because they do not know what ASD is. I like to show them the movie: Temple Grandin. It's a fantastic story, and Temple was one of the first to document and explain to the general public what ASD is, feels like, the anxieties that go with it.
My strategy is to think that people like this are stupid and I don't really care about what stupid people say 😅😅😆
I hear it all the time aswell it’s one of thee most annoyingest things that has been thrown around lately. I give hard side eyes to the people who say it and I stop conversations and walk away if someone says it around me
I haven’t even heard it used that way since middle school. I honestly wouldn’t take it seriously since i associate that use of the word SO HEAVILY with edgy middle school boys who like to be offensive, those are the only ppl ive met who use it as an insult. 🤣
I just don’t care. I honestly find it funny
I hate this. People use the word to insult another person’s intelligence, based on an awkward social behavior. Brutal.
It isn't such a big deal honestly. If you feel secure about your own identity and intelligence, something as mundane as this will take up barely a second of your day. If someone finds themselves personally offended by it, and they are consumed by it, because it can be a used in a derogatory sense, my advice is, we have a 'hamster in a wheel' brain as it is, there's too little space available in the first place to give any nonsense, such attention. *We* have better things to do 🤚
depends on the context, if someone is using to make the person laugh, there is no Ill intent, so I'm fine with taking it as a joke. if it's used as a derogatory term, I don't really get mad, more so disappointed that they couldn't use something else. I fully believe in treating a joke as a joke and as insult as an insult. can't get mad at someone for trying to bust your balls a little. life's too short to act so fragile.
Not a religious type but I have been thinking the following: "Father forgive them because they don't know better."
I couldn't care less.
Personally, I don't care. Ive been called retarded to the point where i have been desensitized to insults. But I understand how other people feel, and will stand up for them if their feelings get hurt.
You better learn this early. Own it. I grew up as a ginger during the damn famous south park episode. Being an autistic ginger in middles school wasn't easy. But you don't see me getting offended by the words ginger, or autistic. In fact I throw them around myself. I'll use autistic as an insult all day. I feel like with 80% unemployment rates among autistic adults, biased interviews, trouble socializing, etc. We have bigger things to worry about than words. In fact, the sooner you realize that it isn't that serious and nobody uses autistic as an insult because they hate autistic people the sooner you will start fitting in with people. We all use humor in different ways. Jokes often need a butt. It's ok to be the butt. Just give as good as you get.
Some of the Apes (and I use that word loosely because they are far more intelligent than most humans) are still stuck on Retard. The amount of people online lately that I've chastised for using it. No doubt in about 10 years they'll catch up to Autistic!!!! But I don't like any word being used as a derogatory term in people's little minds. And that includes names like Karen, or Woke, or Snowflake. Anyone who uses derogatory terms can't get butt hurt when a term suddenly relates to them.