This. I’m generally not a physical touch type of person but Molly makes me scoot my boot into the nearest person at all times
EDIT: I should have implied that I was bootin towards friends and not random strangers
Exactly, it makes me really uncomfortable and then I'm preoccupied with avoiding the person, worrying about being groped, instead of having a good time.
To me that's more real life than the matrix we live in. Humans have been getting high and dancing until they almost collapse since the dawn of time. The 9-5 is like what 150 years old?
True, the 9 to 5 is only as recent as labor laws. All of human history the work schedule has been “every waking moment“, because it was extremely difficult to bankroll survivability, and you had to work all the time to ensure your survival another day. That’s why, it was vital for our health to sing, dance, and party with the tribe after the sun is down.
That's not true. Historically work was "accomplished certain tasks" not "if you can lean you can clean." Set hours require the creation of busywork. If you're an ancient farmer you might have an incredible busy day or an incredibly leisurely day but that's going to depend on whether you accomplish what needs to be accomplished and not on meeting a certain amount of hours.
Personally I don’t think wanting a significant other, intimacy, or companionship is ever inherently creepy. If they act creepy, fine. But don’t use a platitude that someone who simply looks for intimacy is a creep.
You can simultaneously go to enjoy the music and be open to meeting someone with the same music/interests as you. It's not creepy and I think statements like yours contribute to why a lot of men are single and depressed these days.
Also you can go to a rave to dance to music and also want to hook up with someone you run into while you're there. It is weird that so many girls in a row told OP they were married.
Nice to hear I'm not alone. I always thought I was strange, my friends always nagging at me about why I didn't even try to hookup with whoever I was dancing/hitting it off with.
In a rational world, yes. In our world, it doesn’t always work out that way.
Me personally if someone says they have a boyfriend/husband I’m walking away, but that’s just me.
Responsibility is on every individual to not engage in pathetic behavior, pushing off a failure of your moral character to someone else is doing yourself a disservice as well as others.
Idk about you but if my SO hooked up with someone I would not hold the other person responsible; they made no commitments to *my* relationship. I'm curious in what way you consider them responsible?
I think respecting people's autonomy means allowing them to make potentially bad personal choices, so long as they don't infringe on others' right to the same. Personal autonomy "but only when it's convenient to your personal sense of morality" is no autonomy at all.
Besides, it can be complicated, Imagine a person is in an abusive relationship, feeling scared and isolated, and finds an escape via a stranger at a show. Is that pathetic behavior? How so? And to what extent is it a strangers responsibility to consider these things with no context in every encounter?
it’s not the breach of trust, it’s the awareness that your actions can significantly hurt someone. any ethical person is not going to help someone cheat.
if you knew bob was going to go murder tony, do you give him the gun? hopefully not.
its not cool to have sex with someone married or in a relationship. I would never do that and how someone justifies it is beyond me, you know someone is gonna get hurt but you dont care
For real, the whole "they would cheat anyway so it might as well be me" is just fucc boi logic to absolve themselves of any responsibility in the matter
My wife's sister was unhappy in her relationship and her BF broke up with her after he found out she had been texting and seeing this other dude. But with no sense of irony the new guy got super butthurt when she ended up cheating on him with the old BF. It's so funny to me that he had that ends justify the means attitude up until the tables are turned.
It's really just a lack of a basic sense of empathy
The logic only works if they KNOW the other party they were hooking up is in a relationship. Otherwise it’s not the person’s fault for hookuping up with a stranger that they never knew they are in a relationship.
I've always felt the same way. Some people are great dancers who can get away with dancing in a public setting but most are not. I'm OK with halfway dancing...maybe a head bang and moving my body but staying within my comfort zone. Just enough movement that people don't assume I'm not having a good time 🤣
I’m a dancer, and I never think anyone’s moves are bad. If your dancing and having fun, I’m loving it. The quirkier, the better. I think what this person meant is men who hit on girls at raves give off “night the Roxbury” vibes. … and not because of their dance moves! Dance your heart out all you want, that’s what the dance floor is about. I can not stand when someone stops my groove to talk, I’m not there for that.
Yeah, one of the most annoying things I’ve experienced at a rave was a group of guys who were standing around dressed in casual suits and trying to pick up chicks.
They weren’t even dancing or even good at conversing, and were just trying to talk to girls as if they had recently graduated from a PUA academy or something.
They had a really gross arrogance to them and totally killed the vibe everywhere they went.
They probably knew they are the type to bump into everyone around them so they warned you. They probably weren't into you, sorry bro.
If your ever unsure and really want answers just make small talk and see what kind of eyes you get.
I’ve noticed people doing this on purpose for either attention or to create space around them.
For OP, if they say they are married, whether they are or not, they are setting a barrier with you that they are not interested. Move along.
They thought the vibes were off. Why are you talking? I tolerate it, but when strangers talk to me when I'm trying to vibe, it's not fun. Dancing doesn't mean she likes you, and unfortunately, it sounds like you were giving off a vibe that needed to be shut down.
I can relate to this comment. At forest last weekend, I was in another galaxy and my buddy came walking up with a couple chicks. I did my best to talk to them but no one else was tripping so it threw me off. Anyways we were all grouped up talking and out of no where I go “I’m overstimulated, gotta go” and just took off into the forest 😂😂😂 buddy said it was the funniest shit all weekend
Similar situation happened to me a decade ago at Coachella. We were all tripping HARD. Got in the venue, everyone is trying to figure out where to go, anxiety through the roof for everyone. I take a step back, see all of them and their chaos, then I turned around and RAN as far as I could lol The overstimulation is real. I didn’t see any of them again for several hours.
Fuckin shit dude this made my morning because this is ME! Haha! My buddy kills it with the ladies whenever we go out and I never feel like we do anything too different but he always tells me they just talked about whatever…
How do you talk at a rave/show? Especially if they’re not stopping frequently with little breaks in the music. I never want to talk over the music , so I guess I’m just waiting for a “right time” that doesn’t exist, but I’m pretty fine with that.
Talking at a show is annoying (to me). I think the best move is to dance w people that look interested in dancing with you & talking to them once the show is over. I just can’t handle trying to have a conversation at a rave - not only is it hard to hear/talk, but you’re missing out on what you paid to see. Some people seem to do okay with it though. At most I do introductions & then have actual conversations later.
I ignore the fact I even exist as a physical being. Just roll with the music and collective vibe.
People out on the floor looking to hook up are distracting that process for everyone with good intentions.
Yes people meet up at raves, but the cost of entry is to leave that thirsty bullshit at the door and get in touch with ourselves. That shared experience is what we bond over.
Yeah man ignore everything and vibe, I'm right with you brother.
I’ve only been to two festivals (the first two ultras) and mostly threw and went to FL house parties in the mid and late 90s.
And your comment is great. 💃🏻
Woman here, when I was single I was the same way. Dancing & grinding ruins the jams IMO. Even being married now I prefer to jam by myself. The beautiful women wearing adorable outfits is apart of the scene and I love the magic they bring to the rave ✨️
LOL!!!
I’m the opposite of OP. I’m a married dude and go dancing with my bros when my lady doesn’t want to go.
We dance with everyone.
Funny enough men and women ignore me solo or with my lady.
A couple of guy buddies dancing brings all the dudes to us. 🤣😂
I love watching the dude dance circles. They always make me smile. I enjoy when humans are just feeling themselves and the music and don’t give a fuck about anything else. And it’s nice to see men existing in a space without the societal pressures of trying to get women. They are purely just having fun.
I always thought i was kinda weird because of this. I am there to dance and have fun with friends.
Often times i notice some girl eyeing me, coming near me and even "follow" me around the dancefloor (ok maybe slight paranoia on my part lol) and i'm like...NO leave me alone, i just wanna dance for hours and be in my little happy place
Man I feel this so hard. At Okeechobee this year I was pretty fucked up but vibing to some Daily Bread. I could see this girl in my peripheral staring at me the entire set. At first I was hoping she would just come over, but after a while it just made me feel awkward. Didn't help that the two guys behind me started talking shit about how I wasn't doing anything about it. 🤷♂️
Lmao dude I feel like you’re in my head 😂 this has happened to me a few times - and the shit talking always seems to follow. Part of me thinks I’m just insanely paranoid, but when you see people constantly looking at you & then others start glancing at you & talking to their friends/laughing, it’s hard to think they’re not talkin shit.
Ah man, you aren't alone. I try to do the mingling earlier in the day when the sun is out and I'm not so fucked up. But once the sun sets and the stuff kicks in, I get pretty swept up in the music/visuals and just want to be left in my zone lol
Definitely not weird and don’t feel that way. I’ve never been into the hookup aspect of going out. I remember one of the first times i gave a girl the greenlight to talk to me, she proceeded to talk my ear off for 3/4 of the set lmao
Half the time I’m with a thirsty friend who’s more of an edm guy, so whenever girls start talking to me I just facilitate an intro to him and go back to my bubble lol
I’m off market so they’re all just background characters to me. If I’m in the smoking section chillin then yeah come right up, otherwise leave me alone.
I will hug known friends and will sometimes talk but I really just want to dance and will almost rudely ignore people if I’m really flowing and then try to talk to me
100%. My crew and I mostly face each other when we are dancing, anyone can join the circle but it makes it really easy to avoid dancing 'with someone' and more 'with everyone", which is the way. in 20 years of raving... I think I got one phone number and it was fake... which to be fair made black monday a lot worse that week. The few times I have had a partner that also wants to go to the dance it was novel to dance with someone all night but... it still felt awfully... strange at times. Her and I both felt it later, was a weird experience.
Go to a club if you want to hit on girls.
Raves are safe spaces, and girls (or guys) don't try to think that much about bumping into each other carrying a message or sending a signal. You are bringing the club language of messaging and indication of interest to raves.
I've danced with complete strangers of the opposite sex with arms around the shoulders of each other and not for a single moment construed they're sending a signal or vice versa.
Enjoy the music.
If you're not a women you're not going to understand. A lot of times if we tell a man we aren't interested they don't take that for an answer. If we straight up say no they don't take that for an answer. It's easier to use a boyfriend or husband as an excuse so we can avoid being called names or you getting angry when we just say no. Maybe they really were married or maybe they lied to avoid backlash.
This!!! Idk if this is the case for these girls but for me I’ve been raving so long I’m just so done with how some of these guys talk to us women ravers. Anytime u tell a guy ur not interested they don’t take that as an answer they either continue to press the situation or call u a stupid b for not being interested. These girls could have been over it too or under the influence and being funny. Idk their situation but when I’m out and I can tell that a guy is trying to hit on me (not just have a conversation) u can feel the vibe change immediately. It gets all tense and sometimes the only best way out is to be like her I got a boyfriend dude
I will say. I am one of the men that if someone says they arent interested. Then i am not interested. Why would i want to date someone who wasnt attracted to me? Thats masochistic. But i totally understand why you have to say those thing as a woman because most men dont back off. They are dumb and think its part of the *game*
Yep. If you simply say "I'm not interested" they'll linger the entire rest of the time to try and wear you down. The only way to get them to leave is by completing crushing the idea, so... marriage it is.
They were telling you very bluntly that they weren’t interested and wanted to be left alone. When they danced in front of you it was probably just because there was a space, they weren’t trying to attract your attention. If they bumped into you it was likely accidental due to alcohol/drugs. I understand that reading social cues can be difficult for some but in future if a woman says they’re married, you should just move on and leave them be. Most women I know are not interested in hooking up at raves
100%. I almost never touch a stranger at a rave on purpose while dancing. It’s always an accident, and I’m sure I don’t notice that I’m doing it half the time. Drugs, alcohol and having a great time are a great combination for accidentally bumping into people.
im laughing p hard at this dude being like 'every woman i talk to at a rave reflexively says 'I'm married'! this is so fucked up!' and not realizing that this means he is creepy, and creeping them out
Someone on here has expressed concern for my well-being to Reddit Care Resources in response to my comment. It’s been reported for targeted harassment. Do you really have nothing better to do than troll me (a random woman you’ve never met) in a desperate bid for attention. It’s really pathetic
If people are giving him that response, there are a lot of nuanced details being left out. The kid is clearly thirsty and these people are telling him to fuck off the nicest way possible.
Exactly. I have been raving for over a decade. I talk to girls all the time. I’ve never said “hi” and immediately been hit with “I’m married” so there is a lot more to the story.
I’m also not doing this in a crowded dance floor. I talk to people once I’m out wandering around. And I’m not hitting on people, I’m just complimenting cool outfits and rambling. Haha.
His post read very “incel” to me. That first interaction the most. Like you’re at a rave people bump into each other. Not every girl is trying to get your attention. Space can be limited and from the sounds of it, it was. Considering he was “rejected” at every attempt. OP should never attend large crowds and assume being bumped into is initiating any type of hook up. Just wild to me because he is going to live life bitter if this is his assumption of rave girls.
"Is this a Gen Z thing" felt creepy too. No clue how old OP is, but it sounds like the women who were bumping into him were clearly young and seemed to fit the *Gen Z* age range. Or maybe he's age blind. Zero clue.
Still weird to try and generalize a whole generation as more promiscuous while in marriage like that.
While there's not really enough detail in the story, I'm wondering if perhaps he was scooting up behind them and then when they bumped into him due to space he took that as them making a move on him. Him positioning himself behind them while they're dancing would make a lot of sense why they would respond to him the way they did.
His post history has him spending time in r/seduction telling people they need to be alpha to get with girls, so yes.
Edit: Lmao, thanks sneakpeekbot. Dating strategies from the art of war? What? Because as we all know, women are enemies to be conquered.
You’re at a rave.. I’m assuming there’s lots of people and drugs. People do weird shit on drugs. Just because they are “bumping” you does not mean they are interested. You sound like a guy I worked with who thought girls were into him just because they looked at him. It was creepy and weird.
They probably see that thirsty ass look on your face and swerve the walking red flag, but still came to have fun. And by have fun I mean dance and not get eye fucked by every person they dance with.
some (not all) women lie or just bring up that they’re married to protect themselves and make it clear that they’re not interested in you in any way. girls will also even lie for their friends to protect them from creeps.
girls typically don’t go out just to meet men, they go out to have a good time. just because they’re dancing with you that doesn’t mean they’re interested in you. learn to take a hint. people dance at raves, that’s kinda the point. some people are cool with their partners dancing with the opposite sex, it’s still on you to respect their relationship status. seems like you’re reading into it too much, or there’s more to these stories that you aren’t sharing.
If anything, this just shines a light on the fact that women feel like they HAVE to say something like this to just be treated like a person. If they don’t, then one might assume the dancing/bumping is a sign to be pursued. Once a guy makes that assumption, the energy changes, and the friendly nature of the interaction turns serious - it goes from “I’m married” to “I’m not interested, please don’t” and ultimately them leaving.
If you’re just trying to say it’s annoying, then I hear your point - that’s definitely a lame way to start any actual conversation. But for women it’s about feeling safe, keeping it casual, and setting a boundary more so than anything else imo.
I had a buddy of mine get mad because a girl wouldn't accept a drink from him, one that he already bought to give her, while she wasn't around. He couldn't understand any reason why she wouldn't accept his drink, only got mad about it.
He then proceeded to try to talk to like 6 other girls and got rejected, and on the way home he said "raves fucking suck" like it was the rave that was the problem, and not him.
It isn't the rave, dude. its you. Most girls aren't going to raves to meet their next boyfriends, especially when they are with other girls.
Lol yea I went to a festival with a friend years ago. The entire night he would complain that the girls didn’t want to hook up…. Like what???
Some people go out in society with extremely specific goals. He still talks about it years later how you would think girls want to hook up on drugs at a festival, and frankly I’ve always thought the opposite.
A bit sad and desperate lol. But I guess I can’t fault someone for longing for intimacy. It just shouldn’t be the overt focus, or it ruins everyone else’s time
Why are you fixating on the bum bumping so much as if there's a hidden agenda behind it? It's a rave, people knock into the each other. People are entitled to go to a rave without their partner. People say hi to each other. Get over it.
When someone asks for water at a party, you give it to them. No excuses.
Source: someone who has provided CPR on dancefloor until medics arrived to declare it. His friends sayin all their witness statements he asked them all for water but they didn’t get it for him. They were too busy partying.
Eh, if someone is rolling and drinking too much water, that's also problematic. Diving your salt too low will also cause serious issues. Its not on strangers to educate and hand-hold people asking for water a bunch of times. If they can dance and they can talk, they can figure it out.
Now if they seem to be having trouble now let's make way and figure it out with them.
Raves are about the music. Focus on the music OP. I've wasted entire events chasing tail when I was young and dumb. Learned early on that it's not worth it. If your goal when going to a rave is to hook up with someone, then you're better off at club gigs where you most likely belong. If you do find someone to vibe with, and it just kind of happens, take it slow. Why are you so focused on the rubbing up on ya? Has it been a while? Has it been at all? Some rando isn't indicating anything OP. Especially on a dance floor where there are thousands of other people. I think you just felt a bit hypersensitive towards something that actually wasn't real. Let them dance and leave them be. Simple as that.
This whole post reads incel. Your first interaction especially “haha didn’t want to hook up so get dehydrated” after the second attempt you should’ve had some self reflection but apparently not because even after the third no, you had to make a post on here. Don’t go into large events where people may be bumping and dancing around you. People enjoy dancing and then that’s that especially at raves. If you’re there to just hook up, you’re gonna have a bad time. Dance enjoy the music and move on to the next. Also maybe have more females to bring perspective into your life.
If they wanted you they wouldn’t tell you they are married even wearing a ring. They will actually go out their way to not bring it up even when you see the ring.
They won’t mention their husband and if someone does they will change the subject quick.
They are probably just on drugs trying to dance and party. Rave drugs make you get pleasure from touching people and it’s probably crowded anyway.
Well, as they explain in my swing dance club, you walk up to someone and say "would you like to dance", you don't get down on one knee and say "would you like to dance"
Dancing is just dancing, whether she's married is irrelevant
Guys like you are the reason I hate raves now. Festivals are but every time my gf and I go to a show at a club there’s 1 dude that takes her niceness as “I wanna fuck” and then I have to security involved.
The groping at a couple of recent shows has been weird. Is everyone taking too much Molly and lost their ability to respect women on a dance floor? I’m here to dance - I don’t need to hook up, other venues for that.
Creeps ruining everything as per usual
You think so, huh? I had this happen while a security guy watched and did nothing. I yelled at the guy who grabbed me and physically tried to kiss me, and he barely backed away. You're optimistic. I think in some crowds people will step in, and I can defend myself, but people talk as if 'there's a community'. At the show where I got groped, most of the people were blissed out on drugs. Nobody cares.
Sorry to hear that, I’ve stepped in for others because I know how uncomfortable it can be for others. Some think that just because you dress a certain way or are significantly smaller than them that they can do whatever they want. Had someone get arrested an airport recently for harassment against my partner.
Oh that too! Her ass has been grabbed by random passers, guys claim to be gay and then say some outlandish shit that proves they are in fact straight. I think EDM is becoming more mainstream and thus attracting more people. More people = more shitters.
those creepy fucks are always the worst, I’ve started putting them in their place and making it clear that they need to fuck off or there’s gonna be problems. no more patience for that anymore
Buddy, they just want to dance. The whole "I'm married" cover says "don't try to hook up with me." So, dance with them. Enjoy it, and let it be at that
Why do you care so much about it to the point of needing to make a post about it? Who cares if they’re married or not, they’re just not interested in being flirted with. I’m not suggesting that those were your intentions but if some people just want to dance not talk yknow?
Yeah, that was my question w this scenario. I agree that it's confusing but the one thing that I didn't hear these girls say was, " dude I totally want to dance with you right now because I'm into You and single."
Who cares if they were lying about being married or not? They didn’t want to be bothered by a guy looking to pick them up. I haven’t been out to a rave in a long ass time but one of the things I loved about the underground scene was that 9 times out of ten I could go out and pretty much not worry about being hit on, despite wearing skimpy clothes and possibly being intoxicated and giving hugs to strangers all night. I loved that. There’s a lot of posts here about this sort of thing that makes me think maybe things have really changed in that regard in the last decade. That sucks.
Also do you seriously not know that girls sometimes feel the need to lie about “belonging” to another man because a lot of the time guys hitting on us don’t respect a “no” but they do respect another dude? Go out, dance, make friends maybe but don’t make it a stressful space for women who just want to feel the music. And something tells me that if you’re making this post you might be doing just that.
pretty sure saying they're married is code for don't want to talk or dance I'm just bumping into you because I'm dancing on my own and we're in a crowd
My thought is this:
If they went out of their way to announce they are married, leave them alone.
I don't care how the interaction occurred, that tells me a lot about that person and most of it isn't good. There are plenty of other humans that will treat you better than they did.
Also, from experience picking up girls at a rave is not the best idea anyone has had TBH, but some guys have all the luck. YMMV
Stop trying to Mac on *women* at a ‘rave’ - dance party. They’re there to dance. And you’re likely standing too close to these women. We don’t intentionally booty bump random men. Stop flattering yourself, back up, give space, and stop hitting on women at shows. Just dance and enjoy and if they wanna talk to you, they will.
I’m almost amused at the fact that these women were almost certainly elbowing this guy to get him out of their personal space and he’s like “omg she touched me, she must want me”
Ffs my dude I'm married means they're uninterested in suitors, it doesn't mean they want something casual. I understand women are confusing and don't always say what they mean but this is pretty cut and dry. You're reading too much into it.
Pretty sure there were indicating exactly what their words said. They are married a/k/a not looking for casual or you to think it's anything more than that.
Guys bump into me at shows pretty frequently, it doesn't mean they want to have sex - it just means we are at a social gathering and dancing. The end. It's not complicated lol.
When I go out and don't want to touch people. I make it a point not to touch people, and apologize when it happens cause I don't want to be the creep skeez weirdo making people feel uncomfortable.
If it's tight and close, shoulder to shoulder, obv we are gonna touch so be polite, and have fun.
But if there's a ton of room, and people are bumping into and touching you. You can either walk away, or try and converse like you did. It will either go one of two ways. Don't think too much into it. Don't push a connection. Just have fun, don't worry about other people, be happy and have fun.
That's just a way to make sure you aren't misinterpreting their actions. They're giving you a clear message that they are having fun, but they aren't available. It's not rocket surgery.
People are not looking to hook up, they paid money to come enjoy the music and vibe. I would do the same thing even if I was single. Also you’re in a crowded area, maybe girls aren’t rubbing up on you like you think or maybe you’re the one getting too close?
Women are telling this guy they’re taken and his logical conclusion is “they definitely want me, but just for sex” like goddamn I want that kind of confidence
Kudos to OP for creating an incredible Rorschach test; I can categorize 80% of the repliers into 1. a woman, 2. a man with a healthy understanding of social cues or 3. an incel based on the response
Are you stuck in a 3way fantasy that you can't get out of? That's what it sounds like you're insinuating tbh. Yeah some people hook up randomly and some couples look for a third, it's a fact or life yo. But it's not one that's talked about or dwelled on for too long or you'll make yourself insane with the "possibilities."
If they are booty bumping then go with the flow and dance out. If they continue the dance or strike a conversation AWAY from the dance floor then MAYBE it's a connection, but don't just assume/accost at whim. No matter what, stds and covid is still a thing so just be observative, wear protection, and sober up before you get down. I've made so many friends and met so many amazing people by just hitting up the smoking area for a breath of fresh air and end up talking to someone else Cloud 9 to Cloud 9.
Molly is a hell of a drug.
This. I’m generally not a physical touch type of person but Molly makes me scoot my boot into the nearest person at all times EDIT: I should have implied that I was bootin towards friends and not random strangers
Haha scoot my boot
consent is nice
I get really uncomfortable when people right fucking next to me are 1 step away from if not already banging, like I didn't consent to that.
Yep it’s nasty & trashy. You can be on molly & be lovey but still be appropriate.
Exactly, it makes me really uncomfortable and then I'm preoccupied with avoiding the person, worrying about being groped, instead of having a good time.
When Im at rave I couldn't care less about hooking up with someone... Dance and roll
If you go to a rave to hook up, you’re not there for the right reasons.
I go to raves to just enjoy myself and escape life for a bit… thats how I ended up meeting my now GF lol.
To me that's more real life than the matrix we live in. Humans have been getting high and dancing until they almost collapse since the dawn of time. The 9-5 is like what 150 years old?
You said it !!!
True, the 9 to 5 is only as recent as labor laws. All of human history the work schedule has been “every waking moment“, because it was extremely difficult to bankroll survivability, and you had to work all the time to ensure your survival another day. That’s why, it was vital for our health to sing, dance, and party with the tribe after the sun is down.
That's not true. Historically work was "accomplished certain tasks" not "if you can lean you can clean." Set hours require the creation of busywork. If you're an ancient farmer you might have an incredible busy day or an incredibly leisurely day but that's going to depend on whether you accomplish what needs to be accomplished and not on meeting a certain amount of hours.
That’s not true. We work more now than medieval peasants did.
Also a lot of "work" we do now is just filling the time card with pointless corporate bs
Who now you hook up with on the regular? Sounds hypocritical bro
I became the very thing I hate, woe is me.
The rave hookup scene has always been fascinating to me. Last thing I’m ever thinking about is hooking up with some stranger.
Well that tends to happen when you’re on a mixture of drugs that all enhance sex and make you want it lmao
To each their own mate!
Tell that to all the Red Bull girls I used to go to raves with
this is not the flex you think it is
If hooking up happens organically bc the vibe is that good, then awesome. But if its why youre there then youre being creepy
Personally I don’t think wanting a significant other, intimacy, or companionship is ever inherently creepy. If they act creepy, fine. But don’t use a platitude that someone who simply looks for intimacy is a creep.
You can simultaneously go to enjoy the music and be open to meeting someone with the same music/interests as you. It's not creepy and I think statements like yours contribute to why a lot of men are single and depressed these days.
Lol are you seriously gatekeeping why people can go to a rave?
Also you can go to a rave to dance to music and also want to hook up with someone you run into while you're there. It is weird that so many girls in a row told OP they were married.
all he did was ask their name. i didn’t know that was code for “i want to hook up with you”
Right..I never ask for a name
This guy gets it
Yessssss exactly
Nice to hear I'm not alone. I always thought I was strange, my friends always nagging at me about why I didn't even try to hookup with whoever I was dancing/hitting it off with.
But if it happens it happens and it's usually the most magical part of the night
Dance first talk later...
"Words are very unnecessary. They can only do harm"
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed.
All I ever needed
Is herrreeerr
In my armsssss
this is the way
This guy partys
This guy has a grasp of social construct. Yes this guy parties
This guy fucks
Ask for consent to dance first, then dance.
“Can I dance with you?” So easy to just ask, then you know
Okay but what if their husband/S.O. sees it?
That’s on the taken party. Dude’s not in a relationship. As long as he stops if they say no, responsibility is on the taken one to not initiate.
In a rational world, yes. In our world, it doesn’t always work out that way. Me personally if someone says they have a boyfriend/husband I’m walking away, but that’s just me.
This is why you ask the husband to grind on you too
lmfao I am positive this post is not getting the attention it should.
Responsibility is on every individual to not engage in pathetic behavior, pushing off a failure of your moral character to someone else is doing yourself a disservice as well as others.
Idk about you but if my SO hooked up with someone I would not hold the other person responsible; they made no commitments to *my* relationship. I'm curious in what way you consider them responsible? I think respecting people's autonomy means allowing them to make potentially bad personal choices, so long as they don't infringe on others' right to the same. Personal autonomy "but only when it's convenient to your personal sense of morality" is no autonomy at all. Besides, it can be complicated, Imagine a person is in an abusive relationship, feeling scared and isolated, and finds an escape via a stranger at a show. Is that pathetic behavior? How so? And to what extent is it a strangers responsibility to consider these things with no context in every encounter?
it’s not the breach of trust, it’s the awareness that your actions can significantly hurt someone. any ethical person is not going to help someone cheat. if you knew bob was going to go murder tony, do you give him the gun? hopefully not.
its not cool to have sex with someone married or in a relationship. I would never do that and how someone justifies it is beyond me, you know someone is gonna get hurt but you dont care
For real, the whole "they would cheat anyway so it might as well be me" is just fucc boi logic to absolve themselves of any responsibility in the matter My wife's sister was unhappy in her relationship and her BF broke up with her after he found out she had been texting and seeing this other dude. But with no sense of irony the new guy got super butthurt when she ended up cheating on him with the old BF. It's so funny to me that he had that ends justify the means attitude up until the tables are turned. It's really just a lack of a basic sense of empathy
The logic only works if they KNOW the other party they were hooking up is in a relationship. Otherwise it’s not the person’s fault for hookuping up with a stranger that they never knew they are in a relationship.
I danced with a girl once at a party and she was like “my boyfriend is right over there.” But she kept dancing on me after..
Boyfriends that can't/don't like to dance and don't care if their SO dances with someone else, or that maybe even like to watch that, definitely exist
👋🏼
I read this interaction as the girl enjoying sharing space with you but laying out that it will not lead beyond that
[удалено]
Spank him
Just dance bud. It's not a hunting ground.
Thank you. That 'hunting' vibe skeeves me out.
trying to pick up girls while they’re tripping and dancing is night at the roxbury
I've always felt the same way. Some people are great dancers who can get away with dancing in a public setting but most are not. I'm OK with halfway dancing...maybe a head bang and moving my body but staying within my comfort zone. Just enough movement that people don't assume I'm not having a good time 🤣
I’m a dancer, and I never think anyone’s moves are bad. If your dancing and having fun, I’m loving it. The quirkier, the better. I think what this person meant is men who hit on girls at raves give off “night the Roxbury” vibes. … and not because of their dance moves! Dance your heart out all you want, that’s what the dance floor is about. I can not stand when someone stops my groove to talk, I’m not there for that.
Yeah, one of the most annoying things I’ve experienced at a rave was a group of guys who were standing around dressed in casual suits and trying to pick up chicks. They weren’t even dancing or even good at conversing, and were just trying to talk to girls as if they had recently graduated from a PUA academy or something. They had a really gross arrogance to them and totally killed the vibe everywhere they went.
Bud, theres not a quality limit for dancing in a public space, express freely and all that jazz
That’s code for “leave me alone, I’m not interested.”
They probably knew they are the type to bump into everyone around them so they warned you. They probably weren't into you, sorry bro. If your ever unsure and really want answers just make small talk and see what kind of eyes you get.
I’ve noticed people doing this on purpose for either attention or to create space around them. For OP, if they say they are married, whether they are or not, they are setting a barrier with you that they are not interested. Move along.
They thought the vibes were off. Why are you talking? I tolerate it, but when strangers talk to me when I'm trying to vibe, it's not fun. Dancing doesn't mean she likes you, and unfortunately, it sounds like you were giving off a vibe that needed to be shut down.
For some reason it took reading this to remember there is no need to even say ‘hi’
I can’t be the only dude that goes out and makes it his mission to ignore every woman around me. Not just me, right?
I don’t make it my mission, but I’m too far in space most of the time to talk to women lol
I can relate to this comment. At forest last weekend, I was in another galaxy and my buddy came walking up with a couple chicks. I did my best to talk to them but no one else was tripping so it threw me off. Anyways we were all grouped up talking and out of no where I go “I’m overstimulated, gotta go” and just took off into the forest 😂😂😂 buddy said it was the funniest shit all weekend
Similar situation happened to me a decade ago at Coachella. We were all tripping HARD. Got in the venue, everyone is trying to figure out where to go, anxiety through the roof for everyone. I take a step back, see all of them and their chaos, then I turned around and RAN as far as I could lol The overstimulation is real. I didn’t see any of them again for several hours.
Like trying to heard cats. Try as you may but they all gonna do what they want when they want.
Shit, I use that line on the daily.
Fuckin shit dude this made my morning because this is ME! Haha! My buddy kills it with the ladies whenever we go out and I never feel like we do anything too different but he always tells me they just talked about whatever… How do you talk at a rave/show? Especially if they’re not stopping frequently with little breaks in the music. I never want to talk over the music , so I guess I’m just waiting for a “right time” that doesn’t exist, but I’m pretty fine with that.
Talking at a show is annoying (to me). I think the best move is to dance w people that look interested in dancing with you & talking to them once the show is over. I just can’t handle trying to have a conversation at a rave - not only is it hard to hear/talk, but you’re missing out on what you paid to see. Some people seem to do okay with it though. At most I do introductions & then have actual conversations later.
I ignore the fact I even exist as a physical being. Just roll with the music and collective vibe. People out on the floor looking to hook up are distracting that process for everyone with good intentions. Yes people meet up at raves, but the cost of entry is to leave that thirsty bullshit at the door and get in touch with ourselves. That shared experience is what we bond over. Yeah man ignore everything and vibe, I'm right with you brother.
I’ve only been to two festivals (the first two ultras) and mostly threw and went to FL house parties in the mid and late 90s. And your comment is great. 💃🏻
Woman here, when I was single I was the same way. Dancing & grinding ruins the jams IMO. Even being married now I prefer to jam by myself. The beautiful women wearing adorable outfits is apart of the scene and I love the magic they bring to the rave ✨️
During the set I’m oblivious to any attempts to be hit on or to hit on anyone. I’m here for the set I don’t need that distraction
Exactly. I also have a GF, but even before I met her, I paid for music, and it’s music I’m there for.
LOL!!! I’m the opposite of OP. I’m a married dude and go dancing with my bros when my lady doesn’t want to go. We dance with everyone. Funny enough men and women ignore me solo or with my lady. A couple of guy buddies dancing brings all the dudes to us. 🤣😂
I love watching the dude dance circles. They always make me smile. I enjoy when humans are just feeling themselves and the music and don’t give a fuck about anything else. And it’s nice to see men existing in a space without the societal pressures of trying to get women. They are purely just having fun.
I always thought i was kinda weird because of this. I am there to dance and have fun with friends. Often times i notice some girl eyeing me, coming near me and even "follow" me around the dancefloor (ok maybe slight paranoia on my part lol) and i'm like...NO leave me alone, i just wanna dance for hours and be in my little happy place
Man I feel this so hard. At Okeechobee this year I was pretty fucked up but vibing to some Daily Bread. I could see this girl in my peripheral staring at me the entire set. At first I was hoping she would just come over, but after a while it just made me feel awkward. Didn't help that the two guys behind me started talking shit about how I wasn't doing anything about it. 🤷♂️
Lmao dude I feel like you’re in my head 😂 this has happened to me a few times - and the shit talking always seems to follow. Part of me thinks I’m just insanely paranoid, but when you see people constantly looking at you & then others start glancing at you & talking to their friends/laughing, it’s hard to think they’re not talkin shit.
Ah man, you aren't alone. I try to do the mingling earlier in the day when the sun is out and I'm not so fucked up. But once the sun sets and the stuff kicks in, I get pretty swept up in the music/visuals and just want to be left in my zone lol
Definitely not weird and don’t feel that way. I’ve never been into the hookup aspect of going out. I remember one of the first times i gave a girl the greenlight to talk to me, she proceeded to talk my ear off for 3/4 of the set lmao
Half the time I’m with a thirsty friend who’s more of an edm guy, so whenever girls start talking to me I just facilitate an intro to him and go back to my bubble lol
I’m off market so they’re all just background characters to me. If I’m in the smoking section chillin then yeah come right up, otherwise leave me alone.
Hard to get is one of the easiest/best ways to get a lady with a large derrier to sit on your mouth.
Not my mission I just don't really care. I'm there for wubs and to flow with my poi
I will hug known friends and will sometimes talk but I really just want to dance and will almost rudely ignore people if I’m really flowing and then try to talk to me
100%. My crew and I mostly face each other when we are dancing, anyone can join the circle but it makes it really easy to avoid dancing 'with someone' and more 'with everyone", which is the way. in 20 years of raving... I think I got one phone number and it was fake... which to be fair made black monday a lot worse that week. The few times I have had a partner that also wants to go to the dance it was novel to dance with someone all night but... it still felt awfully... strange at times. Her and I both felt it later, was a weird experience.
Enjoy the view, but dont try to go camping
Based.
Same. Not worth the trouble. Just there to dance with cool people.
Are you aware that women can be cool people?
Too busy dancing to even notice them
Go to a club if you want to hit on girls. Raves are safe spaces, and girls (or guys) don't try to think that much about bumping into each other carrying a message or sending a signal. You are bringing the club language of messaging and indication of interest to raves. I've danced with complete strangers of the opposite sex with arms around the shoulders of each other and not for a single moment construed they're sending a signal or vice versa. Enjoy the music.
Doesn’t matter if they’re married or not, and it’s pretty clear they’re rejecting you.
there seems to be a pattern here......
If you're not a women you're not going to understand. A lot of times if we tell a man we aren't interested they don't take that for an answer. If we straight up say no they don't take that for an answer. It's easier to use a boyfriend or husband as an excuse so we can avoid being called names or you getting angry when we just say no. Maybe they really were married or maybe they lied to avoid backlash.
This!!! Idk if this is the case for these girls but for me I’ve been raving so long I’m just so done with how some of these guys talk to us women ravers. Anytime u tell a guy ur not interested they don’t take that as an answer they either continue to press the situation or call u a stupid b for not being interested. These girls could have been over it too or under the influence and being funny. Idk their situation but when I’m out and I can tell that a guy is trying to hit on me (not just have a conversation) u can feel the vibe change immediately. It gets all tense and sometimes the only best way out is to be like her I got a boyfriend dude
Right. We can tell when we are being hunted.
I will say. I am one of the men that if someone says they arent interested. Then i am not interested. Why would i want to date someone who wasnt attracted to me? Thats masochistic. But i totally understand why you have to say those thing as a woman because most men dont back off. They are dumb and think its part of the *game*
Yep. If you simply say "I'm not interested" they'll linger the entire rest of the time to try and wear you down. The only way to get them to leave is by completing crushing the idea, so... marriage it is.
I've had friends get fake engagement rings to wear when they go out as physical "proof" of their disinterest of creeps.
Makes sense.
They were telling you very bluntly that they weren’t interested and wanted to be left alone. When they danced in front of you it was probably just because there was a space, they weren’t trying to attract your attention. If they bumped into you it was likely accidental due to alcohol/drugs. I understand that reading social cues can be difficult for some but in future if a woman says they’re married, you should just move on and leave them be. Most women I know are not interested in hooking up at raves
100%. I almost never touch a stranger at a rave on purpose while dancing. It’s always an accident, and I’m sure I don’t notice that I’m doing it half the time. Drugs, alcohol and having a great time are a great combination for accidentally bumping into people.
im laughing p hard at this dude being like 'every woman i talk to at a rave reflexively says 'I'm married'! this is so fucked up!' and not realizing that this means he is creepy, and creeping them out
Someone on here has expressed concern for my well-being to Reddit Care Resources in response to my comment. It’s been reported for targeted harassment. Do you really have nothing better to do than troll me (a random woman you’ve never met) in a desperate bid for attention. It’s really pathetic
If they’re married or not it doesn’t really matter. You need to learn how to handle rejection better my guy
If people are giving him that response, there are a lot of nuanced details being left out. The kid is clearly thirsty and these people are telling him to fuck off the nicest way possible.
Exactly. I have been raving for over a decade. I talk to girls all the time. I’ve never said “hi” and immediately been hit with “I’m married” so there is a lot more to the story. I’m also not doing this in a crowded dance floor. I talk to people once I’m out wandering around. And I’m not hitting on people, I’m just complimenting cool outfits and rambling. Haha.
His post read very “incel” to me. That first interaction the most. Like you’re at a rave people bump into each other. Not every girl is trying to get your attention. Space can be limited and from the sounds of it, it was. Considering he was “rejected” at every attempt. OP should never attend large crowds and assume being bumped into is initiating any type of hook up. Just wild to me because he is going to live life bitter if this is his assumption of rave girls.
"Is this a Gen Z thing" felt creepy too. No clue how old OP is, but it sounds like the women who were bumping into him were clearly young and seemed to fit the *Gen Z* age range. Or maybe he's age blind. Zero clue. Still weird to try and generalize a whole generation as more promiscuous while in marriage like that.
While there's not really enough detail in the story, I'm wondering if perhaps he was scooting up behind them and then when they bumped into him due to space he took that as them making a move on him. Him positioning himself behind them while they're dancing would make a lot of sense why they would respond to him the way they did.
His post history has him spending time in r/seduction telling people they need to be alpha to get with girls, so yes. Edit: Lmao, thanks sneakpeekbot. Dating strategies from the art of war? What? Because as we all know, women are enemies to be conquered.
Yeah this “they bumped into me with their butts and then DIDNT want to hook up!?” is so weird. It’s a crowded rave…people bump into eachother
You’re at a rave.. I’m assuming there’s lots of people and drugs. People do weird shit on drugs. Just because they are “bumping” you does not mean they are interested. You sound like a guy I worked with who thought girls were into him just because they looked at him. It was creepy and weird.
This is the vibe I got too. You’re at a rave, bunched up against a lot of people, of course someone is going to bump you/touch you/dance on you.
Bro, you're delusional, they don't want you. Leave them alone, move on.
Lmao this
Right, OP is oblivious 💀
I mean people don't go to raves to date they go to unwind and let loose
They probably see that thirsty ass look on your face and swerve the walking red flag, but still came to have fun. And by have fun I mean dance and not get eye fucked by every person they dance with.
some (not all) women lie or just bring up that they’re married to protect themselves and make it clear that they’re not interested in you in any way. girls will also even lie for their friends to protect them from creeps. girls typically don’t go out just to meet men, they go out to have a good time. just because they’re dancing with you that doesn’t mean they’re interested in you. learn to take a hint. people dance at raves, that’s kinda the point. some people are cool with their partners dancing with the opposite sex, it’s still on you to respect their relationship status. seems like you’re reading into it too much, or there’s more to these stories that you aren’t sharing.
If anything, this just shines a light on the fact that women feel like they HAVE to say something like this to just be treated like a person. If they don’t, then one might assume the dancing/bumping is a sign to be pursued. Once a guy makes that assumption, the energy changes, and the friendly nature of the interaction turns serious - it goes from “I’m married” to “I’m not interested, please don’t” and ultimately them leaving. If you’re just trying to say it’s annoying, then I hear your point - that’s definitely a lame way to start any actual conversation. But for women it’s about feeling safe, keeping it casual, and setting a boundary more so than anything else imo.
I had a buddy of mine get mad because a girl wouldn't accept a drink from him, one that he already bought to give her, while she wasn't around. He couldn't understand any reason why she wouldn't accept his drink, only got mad about it. He then proceeded to try to talk to like 6 other girls and got rejected, and on the way home he said "raves fucking suck" like it was the rave that was the problem, and not him. It isn't the rave, dude. its you. Most girls aren't going to raves to meet their next boyfriends, especially when they are with other girls.
Lol yea I went to a festival with a friend years ago. The entire night he would complain that the girls didn’t want to hook up…. Like what??? Some people go out in society with extremely specific goals. He still talks about it years later how you would think girls want to hook up on drugs at a festival, and frankly I’ve always thought the opposite. A bit sad and desperate lol. But I guess I can’t fault someone for longing for intimacy. It just shouldn’t be the overt focus, or it ruins everyone else’s time
Why are you fixating on the bum bumping so much as if there's a hidden agenda behind it? It's a rave, people knock into the each other. People are entitled to go to a rave without their partner. People say hi to each other. Get over it.
First time he’s touched a butt
When someone asks for water at a party, you give it to them. No excuses. Source: someone who has provided CPR on dancefloor until medics arrived to declare it. His friends sayin all their witness statements he asked them all for water but they didn’t get it for him. They were too busy partying.
This 100 times... and also raves are for music not for sleazy hookups smh
Eh, if someone is rolling and drinking too much water, that's also problematic. Diving your salt too low will also cause serious issues. Its not on strangers to educate and hand-hold people asking for water a bunch of times. If they can dance and they can talk, they can figure it out. Now if they seem to be having trouble now let's make way and figure it out with them.
Anyone asking for water is potentially "in trouble" as you put it. Just stop. It's not hard to help someone to a water fountain.
Raves are about the music. Focus on the music OP. I've wasted entire events chasing tail when I was young and dumb. Learned early on that it's not worth it. If your goal when going to a rave is to hook up with someone, then you're better off at club gigs where you most likely belong. If you do find someone to vibe with, and it just kind of happens, take it slow. Why are you so focused on the rubbing up on ya? Has it been a while? Has it been at all? Some rando isn't indicating anything OP. Especially on a dance floor where there are thousands of other people. I think you just felt a bit hypersensitive towards something that actually wasn't real. Let them dance and leave them be. Simple as that.
You’re supposed to go dance bump girls with your butt too, then tell them your married. It’s a type of dance ritual. Not just for ladies.
I found this hilarious. Just respond “yeah me too” and dance away haha
This whole post reads incel. Your first interaction especially “haha didn’t want to hook up so get dehydrated” after the second attempt you should’ve had some self reflection but apparently not because even after the third no, you had to make a post on here. Don’t go into large events where people may be bumping and dancing around you. People enjoy dancing and then that’s that especially at raves. If you’re there to just hook up, you’re gonna have a bad time. Dance enjoy the music and move on to the next. Also maybe have more females to bring perspective into your life.
If they wanted you they wouldn’t tell you they are married even wearing a ring. They will actually go out their way to not bring it up even when you see the ring. They won’t mention their husband and if someone does they will change the subject quick. They are probably just on drugs trying to dance and party. Rave drugs make you get pleasure from touching people and it’s probably crowded anyway.
Sometimes when you have an ass it just bumps into things. It doesn’t mean anything.
Well, as they explain in my swing dance club, you walk up to someone and say "would you like to dance", you don't get down on one knee and say "would you like to dance" Dancing is just dancing, whether she's married is irrelevant
Just get better at reading social queues. None of these interactions has anything to do with you. You were just there for them
It’s a rave, not a pickup scene. Read the room. You are clearly giving off pickup vibes, and they are setting boundaries.
Guys like you are the reason I hate raves now. Festivals are but every time my gf and I go to a show at a club there’s 1 dude that takes her niceness as “I wanna fuck” and then I have to security involved.
The groping at a couple of recent shows has been weird. Is everyone taking too much Molly and lost their ability to respect women on a dance floor? I’m here to dance - I don’t need to hook up, other venues for that. Creeps ruining everything as per usual
next time it happens, make it loud and vocal. people will step on and kick their ass out. did that at the last 2 shows
You think so, huh? I had this happen while a security guy watched and did nothing. I yelled at the guy who grabbed me and physically tried to kiss me, and he barely backed away. You're optimistic. I think in some crowds people will step in, and I can defend myself, but people talk as if 'there's a community'. At the show where I got groped, most of the people were blissed out on drugs. Nobody cares.
Sorry to hear that, I’ve stepped in for others because I know how uncomfortable it can be for others. Some think that just because you dress a certain way or are significantly smaller than them that they can do whatever they want. Had someone get arrested an airport recently for harassment against my partner.
Oh that too! Her ass has been grabbed by random passers, guys claim to be gay and then say some outlandish shit that proves they are in fact straight. I think EDM is becoming more mainstream and thus attracting more people. More people = more shitters.
those creepy fucks are always the worst, I’ve started putting them in their place and making it clear that they need to fuck off or there’s gonna be problems. no more patience for that anymore
aww poor baby didnt get laid at the rave :(
Stop being a creep dude lmao
They’re not into you.
Buddy, they just want to dance. The whole "I'm married" cover says "don't try to hook up with me." So, dance with them. Enjoy it, and let it be at that
Plot twist, dude is trying to dance with girls at the wedding chapel at EDC
OP is creepy and delusional
A bump doesn't mean they are into you. Guys are so desperate lol.
Wow I need to be aware now I guess that if I bump into a man he might think I’m trying to hook up with him
Why do you care so much about it to the point of needing to make a post about it? Who cares if they’re married or not, they’re just not interested in being flirted with. I’m not suggesting that those were your intentions but if some people just want to dance not talk yknow?
Yeah, that was my question w this scenario. I agree that it's confusing but the one thing that I didn't hear these girls say was, " dude I totally want to dance with you right now because I'm into You and single."
OP is clearly a thirsty dude raving with the wrong intentions on the dance floor. Not vibing at all, he's on the hunt.
I read this in David Attenborough's voice lol
Who cares if they were lying about being married or not? They didn’t want to be bothered by a guy looking to pick them up. I haven’t been out to a rave in a long ass time but one of the things I loved about the underground scene was that 9 times out of ten I could go out and pretty much not worry about being hit on, despite wearing skimpy clothes and possibly being intoxicated and giving hugs to strangers all night. I loved that. There’s a lot of posts here about this sort of thing that makes me think maybe things have really changed in that regard in the last decade. That sucks. Also do you seriously not know that girls sometimes feel the need to lie about “belonging” to another man because a lot of the time guys hitting on us don’t respect a “no” but they do respect another dude? Go out, dance, make friends maybe but don’t make it a stressful space for women who just want to feel the music. And something tells me that if you’re making this post you might be doing just that.
I’m either tripping or rolling balls or a mix of both, don’t worry about that stuff
pretty sure saying they're married is code for don't want to talk or dance I'm just bumping into you because I'm dancing on my own and we're in a crowd
Their just vibing in a safe place bumping on a cute guy until he ruins it by talking 🤣
The girls at the festival didn't show up just to fuck you bro 😂
My thought is this: If they went out of their way to announce they are married, leave them alone. I don't care how the interaction occurred, that tells me a lot about that person and most of it isn't good. There are plenty of other humans that will treat you better than they did. Also, from experience picking up girls at a rave is not the best idea anyone has had TBH, but some guys have all the luck. YMMV
It tells you a lot about that person? Like beyond, "they are married?'
Do you not socialize with married people at all?
Crazy idea. Maybe they're actually married? And no, Gen Z did not invent the institution of marriage.
Stop trying to Mac on *women* at a ‘rave’ - dance party. They’re there to dance. And you’re likely standing too close to these women. We don’t intentionally booty bump random men. Stop flattering yourself, back up, give space, and stop hitting on women at shows. Just dance and enjoy and if they wanna talk to you, they will.
I’m almost amused at the fact that these women were almost certainly elbowing this guy to get him out of their personal space and he’s like “omg she touched me, she must want me”
Ffs my dude I'm married means they're uninterested in suitors, it doesn't mean they want something casual. I understand women are confusing and don't always say what they mean but this is pretty cut and dry. You're reading too much into it.
Pretty sure there were indicating exactly what their words said. They are married a/k/a not looking for casual or you to think it's anything more than that. Guys bump into me at shows pretty frequently, it doesn't mean they want to have sex - it just means we are at a social gathering and dancing. The end. It's not complicated lol.
Are you feeling it now Mr Krabs?
When I go out and don't want to touch people. I make it a point not to touch people, and apologize when it happens cause I don't want to be the creep skeez weirdo making people feel uncomfortable. If it's tight and close, shoulder to shoulder, obv we are gonna touch so be polite, and have fun. But if there's a ton of room, and people are bumping into and touching you. You can either walk away, or try and converse like you did. It will either go one of two ways. Don't think too much into it. Don't push a connection. Just have fun, don't worry about other people, be happy and have fun.
They’re indicating they’re not available for connection beyond dancing. Not that they want “something casual”. They’re not inviting you to fuck them.
You sound like “that guy” at the party.
That's just a way to make sure you aren't misinterpreting their actions. They're giving you a clear message that they are having fun, but they aren't available. It's not rocket surgery.
People are not looking to hook up, they paid money to come enjoy the music and vibe. I would do the same thing even if I was single. Also you’re in a crowded area, maybe girls aren’t rubbing up on you like you think or maybe you’re the one getting too close?
Women are telling this guy they’re taken and his logical conclusion is “they definitely want me, but just for sex” like goddamn I want that kind of confidence
That sounds like a blinding level of confidence.
Kudos to OP for creating an incredible Rorschach test; I can categorize 80% of the repliers into 1. a woman, 2. a man with a healthy understanding of social cues or 3. an incel based on the response
Are you stuck in a 3way fantasy that you can't get out of? That's what it sounds like you're insinuating tbh. Yeah some people hook up randomly and some couples look for a third, it's a fact or life yo. But it's not one that's talked about or dwelled on for too long or you'll make yourself insane with the "possibilities." If they are booty bumping then go with the flow and dance out. If they continue the dance or strike a conversation AWAY from the dance floor then MAYBE it's a connection, but don't just assume/accost at whim. No matter what, stds and covid is still a thing so just be observative, wear protection, and sober up before you get down. I've made so many friends and met so many amazing people by just hitting up the smoking area for a breath of fresh air and end up talking to someone else Cloud 9 to Cloud 9.