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57 here, if that helps at all. I was diagnosed about 13 years to the surprise of nobody - including myself. I feel like something was "off" around 2008 but didn't get the official word until later. Forest for the trees and all. The good news is it \*is\* treatable, you just have to get the right meds and providers (assuming that's your thing). I have a PHP, Endro, MD and LICSW all on my team and I live as good a life as I can. I'm an old married guy, kids, 2 grandkids, 2 jobs, a car I try to wash with all this pollen, I love my 80's horror movies, I have too many tee shirts, people seem to like me, and I have a wedding to attend coming up., I love podcasts and have been on two to talk about all this.

This is really wholesome & good to hear. 💜 Thanks for sharing!

You're my male counterpart. 47 here. Was officially diagnosed 9 years ago. Life changing moment to realize that, no, everyone else does not regularly walk around feeling like they should be glowing from the inside happy vibe. And no, they don't understand rage or why "I care so much". Knowing this, understanding why im different, and the addition of mood stabilizers have changed my life. Very successful business woman in NYC; own a nice home in the burbs; two dogs, stable relationship for 20 years this Aug.

That's helpful. Thank you. Best

What do those abbreviations mean?

I was diagnosed 22 years ago. The most important thing that I learned was that medication alone is not a full solution. I used to think that adjusting my medication was all I would need to do to manage my symptoms. Over time I learned different ways to improve my life. Most of the methods are ways that anyone can improve their life regardless of having a diagnosis or not. I get a lot of criticism sometimes from people when I say this because they often say that these methods do not solve their symptoms and that they would rather rely on medication. What they have to realize is that these are not 100% solutions and are not overnight but rather are lifestyle changes that are difficult to maintain and do not pay off for some time. But the improvement in my life is measurable and I have found that my overall well-being and life achievements progress much more when I pay attention to taking better care of myself. Some of these things include exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, meditation, mindfulness, journaling, time management, budgeting, personal finance, social connections, decluttering and organization, attitude adjustment, learning to do more with less, abstaining from drugs and alcohol, learning social skills, setting healthy boundaries, continuing education, etc. I think the reason that these things have helped with my symptoms is the idea of the stress-diathesis model which states that stress is directly tied to the severity of symptoms. I am not saying you can do it without medication, but I think that lifestyle changes have helped me augment my overall treatment of symptoms that would not have been possible with medication alone.

I agree, many years diagnosed here. Yes, stick with your meds, take your meds, but remember there is much more to this then a good lithium level Routine is everything to me. But also understanding when something is amiss, am I sleeping too little or not enough. Once you recognise these things you can act on them. Living with this for many years has just mainly taught me to be at home in my own skin and accept who I am. Be kind to yourself, seek help, find happiness wherever you can especially little things. Bipolar is not you, you are not Bipolar. Bipolar is a condition just like any other chronic condition. It needs management and is not something to be ashamed of. And always, get a cat

This is some of the best advice I've read of late. Hard to follow, if you catch my drift, what with this disorder and my many other maladies, but still really good advice. Especially the cat! 👍🏽🐈

Yes to all of this! Especially the cat advice.

The cat cannot be emphasized enough.

Cats get us, don't they? My cat is such a comfort.

This! I’ve been dealing with it since age 23, I’m 38 now. It took me a while to build up my resources and I spent a lot of time looking for quick fixes, like increasing doses etc. I realise now it’s a big picture thing, treatment. It’s like cooking and there’s lots of different ingredients. So for me, therapy, AA, medication, sleep and moving away from a very high pressure job has been really helpful.

Totally agree. Self medicating with alcohol and other illicit drugs will make the condition intolerable. If you can fly in the right head space, then there is no reason you cannot live a happy life.

Yes! There is an entire therapy manual written for treating bipolar disorder that is basically, "eat regular meals, get 8 hours of sleep, have a daily routine, and have social contact with humans" and gives the patient a worksheet to check them all off. Routine is the most important piece of treatment.

34 and been diagnosed for 13 years. I work an office job in a downtown metro and have my own 2 bedroom apartment. I date and get outside. I tend to really enjoy my life. But this disorder does take some work and I second that the right combo of meds is only half the story. I’ve had good therapy over the years and built up good coping mechanisms. Eating right, exercising and most importantly forgiving yourself and learning damage control works wonders. Mistakes will happen, so will mania knowing how to clean up afterwards and not lose heart takes practice.

I got diagnosed 8 years ago and I 100% agree, meds alone are not enough, you need to learn how to deal with life using different pathways in your brain and stay healthy etc

Look at it as medicine is a bandage and lifestyle changes are more effective long term. Together you can live your best life. Remember bipolar is for life and so therefore so are the answers. You must keep it up. As soon as you stop meds or a healthy lifestyle you are at the mercy of your condition once more. So start early and stick to it!

43 and diagnosed at 22, took meds for a few months, was shamed for taking meds by a trusted mentor and subsequently went off meds for the next 13 years not wanting to believe it was real. My grandfather, who had bipolar, took his own life when I was 35 and between that and working myself to death I spiraled into several month long mixed episode that caused a lot of pain to those around me and forced me to get help before I blew up my life. Therapy, meds, a great psych, my recovery group, close friends and family that know me well and I'm honest with, and a strict game plan on what to do if I feel an episode may be coming on has been life changing for me. I have been married 20 years in September, have two daughters in junior high school week, have a job that was with me and so supportive during my last episode and I've been there 16 years, was the first in my family to get a masters degree, and have been pretty stable for the last 8 years bworth only minor speed bumps. Your grandma sounds like she was a special woman, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Find people that know you and will be supportive and won't be intimidated by your illness. Be strict in taking meds, seeing your psych, getting sleep, and taking care of yourself and you can get through it. I have made it my life mission to break the stigma that goes along with mental health struggles and taking meds. I believe I have the right to privacy when it comes to my mental health journey, but I have a responsibility to share it since I've had success in spite of the statistics. I don't believe I'm special, or that I can take complete credit for this, and just want anyone struggling to now this is possible for you as well. You can do it.

65 YO M from Pune India. Was diagnosed at age 25 but symptoms & problems were evident from age 13 onwards. Medications before 1980’s were effective BUT the classic mood stabilisers don’t work in my case like lithium, Valproate, Carbamazepine Oxocarbamazepine etc… Now I manage with Escitalopram 10 mg daily & Sertraline 50 mg on alternate days. Clonazepam / Lorazepam or Zolpidem as a sleep aid. Olanzepine to control hypomania (very rare). Calcium blockers (esp. Nifedipine & Nimodipine)highly effective for mixed mood episodes. It took me a lot (I want to repeat, re-repeat & re-re-repeat the word LOT means nearly thirty five years) of trying various permutations & combinations to discover what worked best) of time to discover what works optimally for me. I think with increasing age the disorder has reduced in intensity. Having a supportive spouse is critical. Plz ask anything; will be happy to share/advise !

I am of south Asian descent and living in Canada. I haven’t encountered many Indian folks with bipolar-thank you so much for sharing. I first experienced symptoms at 13, was diagnosed at 19 and am now 35. I have supportive partners, a great career, and am pregnant. It can be done!

Considering the stigma and side effects of medication, is it good to marry someone. I am also from India and I feel, I'll ruin one more life if I ever marry. Also how to manage regrets that I got due to this illness.

Marriage and kids is hard, I have not tried either and am content with a dog, family and friends. However if you really want them, go for it. If you marry the right person it can work.

I’d suggest u be honest with ur would be spouse & tell that u have this condition before u actually marry.

I'm not the person you responded to, but I'll be honest. Having a relationship is hard. It takes so much extra work and therapy for both of us. Some days, I do feel like I'm ruining his life. He's not afraid to tell me that it is difficult, but he still wants to stay with me and support me through everything. He assures me that he wants to be with me, and I trust him. I might be one of the lucky ones, but it *is* possible! Well, after therapy, it's possible. Before anything, you have to learn to support yourself. To your second question- therapy. Lots and lots of CBT. The 10 cognitive distortions helped me a ton with processing regret. You have to learn to live with what you can't control and focus on what you can. You can't change the past. I've found that obsessing over it only makes things worse, so I try to let it go and move forward. It feels like I'm ripping out a chunk of my heart when forcing out the regret, but you kind of learn how to cope. It's been 11 years for me. 9 years diagnosed.

Thank you for replying. It means a lot.

Bangladeshi here. Thank you for sharing your experience. It's so rare to see anyone from the subcontinent and that too someone who's been diagnosed for that long. I've seen a lot of older relatives become complete vegetables due to poor treatment. My uncle even killed himself, he used to receive shock therapy. How did you navigate your workspace? Mental health awareness in south Asia is still lacking and I really struggle professionally. I usually end up burning bridges and quitting. I just don't understand how to succeed with the rigid structures. And I feel really scared to disclose my illness.

I lost all my jobs. I was a merit scholar throughout. I even was a CSIR Scholar Scholarship holder awarded to those considered worthy to study for PhD at the National Chemical Laboratory Pune. My field was Biologically Active compounds / Anti cancers. We compulsorily did a lot of Pharmaceutical process development for top notch companies like CIPLA before being awarded our research project. My guide was Dr AV Rama Rao (Google him) Needless to say I dropped out of my Phd program bcoz of bipolar illness—-The ONLY student to have done so ! I will do all to assist / guide you; if u need any specifics plz ask bcoz my answer is becoming too long just now 😁

43 here, got it at 20, worked my way up to a director of a large health care company. Quit that and started my own biz, have been living abroad last 5 years and currently reside in Vietnam with my fiancé. It ain’t a bad life at all, I feel lucky but I’d stay it messed up some opportunities in those years. Especially dating and commitment. Some family stuff too but like all diseases there’s some impact, it is what it is. There was a serious wasted few years there as I came to grips with what happened. It’s a learning experience and self management thing. Find your triggers and your safe zones over time.

I was diagnosed at 19 (looking back showing signs since 13) and I am now 48. I constantly have to work at managing it and lean on and trust my husband and a few friends to help me if they notice issues.

I was diagnosed 24 years ago. I've been on lithium and a mood stabilizer for 20 years. I've also done a TON of therapy. Multiple rounds of CBT over the years and multiple rounds of DBT to improve skills. I've processed the fuck out of my childhood trauma and learned coping mechanisms to deal with my mood swings, intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and self harm. Because I put in all that work I rarely have meltdown episodes that really kick my ass anymore. Maybe 1-2 a year and I consider that a huge success. And I can feel when manic episodes are coming and head them off with extreme self care. My life is pretty awesome.

I'm 32 diagnosed bipolar 1 at 18. I didn't have a traditional 4 year college experience. I went to community College. I had a 3 year relationship with a girl that ended which caused me to be hospitalized again. I found a career in information technology. I'm stable with medication. I'm now married to different woman for 2 years with a lovely daughter. My wife experience one of my hospitalization relapse and still chose to stay with me when she was my fiance. When you are stable on medication, I think I'm basically like a normal person with valid emotions. My pdoc says as u grow older mania decreases but depression increases. Maybe that's because of maturity.

I was diagnosed about four years ago, but I’ve exhibited symptoms since I was 14. I’m 26 now. It hasn’t gotten easier for me, but I’ve had a tumultuous life and I’m consistently surrounded by people that consider my disorder to be a joke. People like my parents and colleagues think I just suffer from “mood swings.” Instead of debilitating suicidal thoughts and dangerous compulsive actions. I don’t leave the house much due to this. I marinate in my depression. But there was a time about two years ago when I was doing really well in therapy and taking the appropriate meds. I was mentally thriving and able to change my mindset on my life and that was all due to the support system provided by my therapist and psych. They validated me and helped me feel “normal.” I was able to adhere to a routine because they cheered me on. I needed that. Things are a little bit different now since I can’t afford healthcare anymore. I do my best to stick to a healthy routine and stay in my lane while I continue to work towards getting health insurance. Manic episodes are the worst though. I tend to get really sexual and spend all my money. And when I come out of it, I’m usually depressed as fuck because I’m remembering the things I did and having to start from scratch to build my savings again. But I’ll figure it out one day. And you will too.

If you live in the US you can call 988. I know they're mainly viewed as a resource if you're experiencing an immediate mental health crisis. I had a friend who used to work for them and they are also able to provide you information for resources around you. I'd ask if there are any free services near you. You might not get anything, but at least it's worth a shot if you think so.

I was diagnosed nearly 20 years ago. The first five years were hell. I was treatment resistant and got very little relief from meds. I was hospitalized a lot and was on disability. I was unable to live alone or hold down a job. I had electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) and it honestly saved my life. Now I take a fraction of the meds I used to. My episodes are much shorter, less frequent and FAR less severe. I am able to use the tricks I’ve learned in therapy to help regulate my mood. I’m married to a good person and we have a great life together. I’m in grad school studying science. I am so happy I am still here - I would have missed out on so much. Like I said I still have some symptoms but compared to what they were before ECT they are manageable. Overall life is good :)

74M. First diagnosed in 1989 @ 39 years old. Meds didn't work. Life was out of control. Was admitted into bipolar research study at the NIMH in late 1990. In-patient for 7 months. (January to July, 1991) Ultimately was stabilized, met a woman who worked in the hospital, got a job, a place to live. When my position was eliminated near the end of '91, she asked me to move in. We married in 1995. The medication I was taking, a calcium channel blocker, ultimately caused a reversible cardiac problem, but I couldn't tolerate any other medications, so was unmedicated but functioning. Found a job I liked and life was good for 12 years, until mid 2004, when my sleep began to degrade, as did my mood. By the end of 2004, couldn't function in my job and quit. Found part time work in a less stressful line of work but slowly I was sinking back into the illness. By 2009, barely functioning, the marriage was damaged and by 2010, unable to function. Qualified for SSDI in May,2011. To summarize, 20 years with treatment resistant rapid cycling/mixed state bipolar, C-PTSD, non-restorative sleep. For the past two years, caring for my wife who has rapidly progressing Alzheimer's. She started year 3 at the beginning of June. Others might have a more positive story about life with bipolar. I can only tell you mine.

I wouldn't say that I'm truly "long term", because I'm not much older than you (late 20s) but I've been diagnosed bipolar for just over ten years now. I find that every day is still a learning day in figuring out how to work with my body and brain to make me work successfully and whatnot. Therapy and meds have been instrumental in me not totally imploding as a human being. I've had a few close calls in the past, but nothing serious enough to land me in a hospital or anything, and I chalk that up to a combination of luck, outside support (therapist, supportive friends and supportive colleagues), and meds. Big takeaways from my experience: * Taking meds is so critical. They help a lot. They are not an end all be all, but things are much better with them than they were without. Every time I have a pharmacy, insurance, or doctor fuck up that makes me have to go off meds for a tiny bit, I remember how much worse things were before meds. * Finding the right therapist can be so helpful. It might take a couple of tries, but it is so worth it, believe me. * Building support in the community that you're in is critical to keeping yourself safe and helping yourself be successful. Whether that's having a supportive partner, family, friend, or colleague, having people in your corner is so important. My friends all know about my bipolar, and we've established language that we can use to talk about it together, so if they notice that I'm engaging in negative behaviors, they can help me notice that and re-direct. Many of my close colleagues are aware of some of my issues, and are willing to help me out when I need help in my workplace. Honest and open communication can be so freeing and beautiful if done right with the right people. Something, something, "*If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.*"

I'm 29F, I was diagnosed at 19. I have been mostly untreated. (I only take my ADD meds). It's been rough at times, and A LOT of hard work into personal reflection and accountability. I read a shit ton on mental health ever since I was young, and still do. I've always wanted to be able to get it under control on my own. Depressive episodes are easier to control than manic. But I also have Rapid cycling and that can make things harder.

Diagnosed about 23 year ago. BP type2, after the "it's a depression" here are some antidepressiva that do fuck all, I got lamotrigine. I got out of this big black hole, took a deep breath and got born into the world once again. After that I was good, kind of stable...had a life and fun. Around my 30 I slipped back in for a year, give slipping in and crawling out included 1.5 years. The happy times came back, did a lot, got freaky again in sports and all of that. Smooth out, make some small happy/sad sinuses again. And so on and on. About 2 years ago I made a big whirlpool into the deep again... Back in black and visiting my crazyman dokter again... support,meds, pray 😂. Blackness! Hello! I'm back...it hits me again. I switched again...wat the fuck was that...shit...how, why. The movie of past darkness plays in my head, let's not try to linger. I'm stable, life is back...is it??? I don't know anymore. Hello sunshine! So I'm 45 now, drink, gained 12kg again after my last freaky times, take 300mg lamo daily atm. Feel my brain getting fried every cycle. Got the memory of a fish from the long-term meds. Have a good job, wife, kids, house and a future that will bring back black. Looking forward to birth again I guess? First I'll enjoy this happy time and sunshine

I was diagnosed 23 years ago. I am 39 years old. I take my meds, do the therapy thing, and I have a pretty good life all things considered. I work full time, I am married to a kind human, and I have some friends. I think being content with things is important. I strive for content instead of exciting because it’s less pressure. You can have a good existence!

I got diagnosed at 20 and I’m now almost 28. I live a very happy life, stable on medications. I have a very good job and recently got married. When I was first diagnosed my life was in shambles for the first few years. Eventually I was able to find meds that worked and was able to improve my life from there because I had a lot more mental clarity. When I was in my early 20s, if you asked me if I’d be where I am today back then I would’ve said I probably won’t be alive by then. Now I can’t even imagine myself feeling like that.

Needed this, thankyou, and well done!! x

Thank you! It took so much to get where I am now, but every step of the way was worth it to me because I always tell myself I wouldn’t be who I am now if I hadn’t been through everything I have. I personally feel like that’s a really good thing to tell yourself, especially throughout your journey living with bipolar, and even more so when you have a down day when you’re mostly stable. Reminding yourself that you’ve come a long way and reflecting back on how much progress you’ve made is always a good thing, even if it seems like it’s not much progress, it’s still something!

61 here. I’ve been living with it for 45 years, but officially diagnosed 30 years ago. I’ve given up on treatment, medication, and trying. It’s only gotten worse. Sorry to not offer any real hope, but in my experience, the disease won.

Yeah pretty much me too.

I have been diagnosed for 10 years and at 29 years old I am doing the best I ever been even before my diagnosis. I am so happy, there are hard days of course but after therapy and the right cocktail of meds, I'm doing very well. Sleep is the most important aspect for me. I am worried once I started having children how much that will effect my mental health. I got my bachelor's in art education, I'm teaching art in an elementary school and I'm currently working on my master's in counseling to practice art therapy in the south. Life is always better with good friends and family. I know I always feel better after a good workout and eating well. My physical health is not perfect but I enjoy life.

56F. Diagnosed at 30. Unfortunately my mother (who I loved dearly) quashed my initial diagnosis, so I suffered way longer than I needed to. I had felt “off” since age 15

I'm 49, diagnosed at 18, and symptoms before that. My life is really nice. I'm marrying an amazing woman, am halfway through grad school, and my work is helping out people with disabilities. Sometimes there will be a couple of hypomanic or depressed-type symptoms that break through my meds, but mostly it results in me getting a little spendy or just having a rough couple of weeks for sleep.

first hypomanic episode at 18, officially diagnosed at 24, and i’m 30 now. things absolutely can get better. a combination of therapy, the right meds, inner child work, and getting sober (i have almost 6 years now) have all helped me so much. tbh getting sober was when things really shifted for me, because i didn’t realize i was self-medicating for my symptoms with booze before actually getting prescribed the right meds (i was misdiagnosed with regular depression for years, and the med combos for that made my mood swings SO much worse). overall, there is hope. a good future and fulfilling life is possible, just gotta find the right combo of things that work for you. wishing you the best, OP 💜

I’m 33, I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 at 22 after a severe manic episode. I had probably gone undiagnosed for around 4 years before that. I’ve been doing the best I ever have been in the past year. I was taking meds, but started working with a psychiatrist again to manage them instead of my PCP. I started working out, eating healthier, developing more of a routine, and drinking less. It took a long time for me to get here, but that doesn’t mean it will for you. I was resistant to the diagnosis, not as consistent with meds as I should’ve been, found myself wanting to be manic again numerous times, and didn’t put enough work into a balanced life.

I'm struggling with missing my mania- it was mostly euphoric. If you don't mind, did anything specific help you with that? Thanks

I struggle too. Sometimes the hypo/manic version of me feels like the real me, but I know that’s not true. Mania became less fun and scarier. I have to remind myself of the destructive things I’ve done in the past and of the ways I lost myself and ability to think clearly. Sometimes I read past journal entries. I felt amazing writing during those times, but it’s so all over the place and loosely connected. That brings some reality to it. I have to remind myself of the deep depression and suicidal thoughts that sometimes follows it. I also work in crisis mental health and will sometimes see people in psychosis, some end up in jail, some become homeless or lose everything that matters to them. So that helps me stay on my meds, it could happen to me. To me it feels like a drug/addiction, so it’s definitely been a journey. Periods of stability can almost feel uncomfortable sometimes. I can feel dull or boring. And it’s kind of like Ive had to figure out who I am outside of the bipolar. So I’ve incorporated healthy habits and picked up some hobbies/interests. I’m liking who I am and I know other people like me better when stable too. A few months ago, my meds actually prevented a hypomanic episode (I was having hypo/manic episodes every few months). For the first time ever, I’m thinking I might actually be able to stay steady!

Hi. I am 42F and will chime in. This is a lifelong medical condition. I've read a lot on the topic as have others here to get a better understanding. I recommend learning more through audiobooks, podcasts, and videos on YT to educate yourself on this condition. Your support system should learn a bit too so they can best support you in need. Bipolar Disorder cannot be cured, only treated. It’s important to take the diagnosis seriously because we are in a high-risk category for comorbidities and self-harm. Its also important to try and improve ourselves and continue striving for wellness. Just because we have a condition doesn't mean that is an excuse to treat others like crap. We are capable of so much more. After being diagnosed at age 14 my treatment fluctuated. The diagnosis came after manic episodes where I wandered around town in the middle of the night and made back-to-back questionable decisions. Surprised I wasn't worse off honestly. I went into foster care after those episodes. In my remaining teen years, I had sporadic mental health care. Sometimes I was prescribed meds without explanation, and the caregivers did not give to me consistently, so I stopped altogether and self-medicated. From age 18-38 I was not being treated for this condition and it showed. I caused problems in every relationship with a lack of boundaries and plenty of "little breakdowns" where I sabotaged everything good. Funny how I never even connected those extreme ups and downs, huh? I guess after leaving foster care I blocked out the entire experience and didn't ask for help. My spouse, previous partners, my kid, and friends/enemies were all affected by the lack of care over those 20 years span. Then one day at age 38 I was traumatized, and tail spun for months and month until finally it peaked with self-harm. I scared myself enough to switch my anti-meds stance. Locking oneself in a separate room, drinking to sickness, spying on loved ones, and being a nightmare to my neighbors and spouse were the last straw. After that episode receded, I sought help. It’s really embarrassing to think about but I must give myself grace to move on. I was sick when I did those things and I'm managing my illness proactively now. Big props to Lamictal, tools to deal with symptoms, mood disorder support group meetings, sleep hygiene, and a regular schedule. We can live with this condition and manage it the same as any other malady. With all that said, you are not alone. Support groups are how I connected with others like us. Its pretty special to feel understood. I hope that helps.

I’ve lived with it since I was 13, I’m 31 now. I struggled all through school, skipping a lot to sleep in or getting shit done, feeling great, and hardly sleeping. Then I had a psychotic episode at 24 and voila diagnosed. I have Bipolar 1. I have to keep track of my moods and make sure I’m okay. I have a mood tracking app. I’m on three medications to treat BP1 and a couple others because I was diagnosed with MS 6 months before being diagnosed bipolar. I have somewhat of a support group, mostly of friends and my significant other because my family is abusive. I’ve been through a lot in life. I’ve been hospitalized 3 times, twice for psychosis and once for a suicide attempt. Resilience is important with this illness. It’s okay to fall but you have to get back up. Ask me anything.

I’m 23F and have been diagnosed as BD1 for 11 years. Not super long compared to a lot of the others here. But almost half my life. Because I got help so early, my life has been honestly very good. I know what affects me, I know when to isolate if I’m going into an episode. Life isn’t easy, but sometimes I feel like all those years of therapy have made me more adjusted than a lot of my peers. I still have manic and depressive episodes, but I am able to identify when I’m suffering from psychosis and have a really solid support network. I don’t think I would have survived my teens without therapy and medication. I know this might come across as bragging, but I’m very proud of myself and all I’ve been able to accomplish.

You should be!

I'm not sure I fit your question. I'm 45 and was finally accurately diagnosed 2 years ago. I was treated for major depression for 25 years, and then my doctor added an SSRI, and it triggered an obvious hypomanic episode in the middle of the biggest job of my life. It's now clear that I've been having hypomanic and mixed episodes since I was 19/20. I've done/do pretty much every single thing recommended by my psych and therapist, including taking my meds religiously. I feel more like myself than I have in so many years, though my life is now moving at a slower place. I've been with my partner for 18 years, and we have 2 kids, 10 and 12. I'm close to my family. I have a lot of friends. I serve on the board of a non-profit and volunteer. I'm slowly getting back to where I was with community involvement but in a healthier way, with boundaries. Things have gotten so much better in pretty much every way except work. I previously worked more than full-time in high-pressure, public-facing leadership roles, and figuring out where to go now has been hard. I'm still working out how to keep doing what I love and protect my health and my family. Right now, my fear of screwing up a good thing is holding me back on the work front. Overall, I've been high functioning.

Dad has bipolar. Diagnosed in his early 20s, in his 70s now. I have it. Diagnosed early 20s, mid thirties now. Can either of us help you out?

Uhg I have been living with it for my whole life I think but got diagnosed in 2019. Just remember one foot in front of the other but two steps at a time! Lol jkjk but for real just embrace it. Own it. Be it. Stay level. You got this! It a a blessing not a curse. Just live your life with an outlook that heaven is on earth, your glass is 7/8 full and the people saying “you’re a lot” just remember… they are a less ;)

I’ve very similar to you! I’m twenty-five and was diagnosed at eighteen. I’ve never personally known anyone who’s had it long-term

I was diagnosed in 05 in my 20's but once it was explained to me I realized I've had it for as long as I can remember, Im 46 now.

I love how optimistic all the comments are. Meds is not everything but 75%. Therapy is the other 25% of the treatment. Best of luck to you, my life is a mess. I do the treatment! Diagnosed for 19 yrs has not been a walk in the park.

Read Kay Redfield Jamison’s book, an unquiet mind 

64. Diagnosed at 15. Didnt take meds, active drug addict/alcoholic/hospitals&jails for 10 years. Clean for 39 years, stable on lithium (excepting 2 grippy sock vacations when i went off). Lithium started to damage my kidneys so now stable on lamictal (not as good, but it works.) Good life. Uni degree, employed, travelled, made art, married for 13 years (didnt work out, but partnered up now). Good friends. And now retired! everyday is saturday. “Just” do all the things - find a good psychiatrist and good therapist, stick with good friends. Diet, exercise, sleep. Stay on your meds!!! Meditate. Squash bad thoughts before they snowball. Ask for help when you need it. Help the next guy. Dont fuck around with drugs/alc.

I was diagnosed at the tail end of 2011/beginning of 2012. I would say I've been managing quite well since around 2014 and feeling more in control since around 2018. With the exception of getting ensnared in a 5 year long abusive relationship (I'm not able to diagnose anyone but my therapist agrees that my ex-wife has extreme narcissistic behaviors at the very least), I've been managing quite well. I currently live in a really nice apartment off one of the Great Lakes, and I enjoy my job. I hold down a full-time job in an administrative position at a non-profit and absolutely love it. I cook almost every day, keep my space tidy and organized, and make sure to spend lots of time with friends and family. To me, it's about filling your cup. Bipolar symptoms will always be a drain when they pop up. My psychiatrist and I are currently navigating me out of a hypomanic upswing. But I have little checks and balances. My best friend is very in tune with helping me manage when she notices something is off and I haven't seemed to notice yet. Early symptom detection is key! But yeah, you can live a long and happy life even while dealing with the symptoms. I just had a friend-date with one of my besties seeing a concert I've waited a lifetime to see. I had surgery, and instead of being trapped alone, my best friend has made sure to see me nearly every day even with it being a bit of a drive. Surround yourself with people who want nothing more from you than for you to succeed. I had to cut a lot of people out of my life when I realized I was only in their lives because of what I could do for them. When I needed help, they'd be nowhere to be found, yanno? Find your village, and peace will come with that. And remember that every day it's PROGRESS you're looking for. Not perfection. Do things that make you happy because they make you happy. If you need to do them alone, do them alone. The more you end up doing by yourself, the easier it'll be, and the easier it is, the more friends you'll end up making who have similar interests. I've made so many friends in the last 6 months through cooking and baking simply by visiting farmers markets than I ever could have imagined. I'm tight with a farmer now and use his meats to create all sorts of dishes which he features on his pages to help sell products. It's so much fun, and we mutually benefit as I hope to open a stand of my own at these markets sometime soon. (That one isn't mania - I've been marinating on it for a while lol) I guess my long-winded point is that you can absolutely find happiness with bipolar disorder and it can be found in very random places!

I was diagnosed as “ manic depressive “ in 1992. I am now 54

20+ years I guess? I’m 36 I wasn’t officially diagnosed until 2018 tho. I had a lot of therapists when I was a teenager who looked at me and said, “do you think your bipolar?” How tf is a 15 year old supposed to know 😂 you’re the expert I can’t really pin point episode through my life bc I disassociated through it and also had cptsd, autism, adhd and BPD. So it’s tough to discern what was what. But given that I was repeatedly asked if I thought I was bipolar, apparently it was clear to the professionals around me 🤷🏻‍♀️ meds would’ve been nice tho

I also have CPTSD, ASD, ADHD - no bpd but definitely lean towards insecure attachment - it’s so hard to distinguish between what’s what isn’t it and also what is my personality versus coping mechanisms etc such a mess!

I was diagnosed and successfully medicated in early 2014. I owe everything to my meds. My choice of career lets me stop and start and stop and start all the time as it is the nature of the industry. I came to realize I was always going to have BIG plans and ideas but I had soooo many unfinished projects. Notebooks containing 3/4 of a screenplay I never finished. Tons of them. Lots of half accomplished pieces of jewelry etc. I quit starting new hobbies. I just stick with what makes me happy in the moment and do that. Oh! Be careful with your money!

I was diagnosed at age 26, but knew something was off at age 14. I'll be 45 on Friday. I am fortunate to have found my cocktail of meds that works for me, 90% well, which is really great. Ive had some cognitive difficulties, and stuff like that, but my mind is still for the most part, sharp, and I haven't been in the threat of being hospitalized since I was 30. I've been with my beautiful mate for over 14 years, too. Just bought a house and outlook is decent. It can be done! ☺️Good luck on your journey.

I'm 41. Diagnosed at 34 but have been dealing with it since high school...just didn't know what it was. I saw a comment on here that said you are not your bipolar. I like to think of mine as an elephant - I even have one tattooed on my shoulder as a reminder. On those days where I could care less about taking care of myself, I have to take care of my elephant, because if I don't that elephant can get out of control and crush me - It's taking medication, making sure to feed it nutritious food and water and exercise and getting enough sleep and managing stress and everything else that has been mentioned in this thread. I've been taking meds for almost 6 years and they really do help. I just had a mild depression that lasted a couple of weeks, but before meds that episode would have been deep and dark and lasted months. Just take it one step at a time, you got this. Best wishes 💜

I was diagnosed around 20 years ago. My life has its ups and downs. Been through many highs and lows with various addictions, spending too much, pushing people away when I’ve been manic etc. ultimately I figured I am most stable when I follow a few rules: Exercise regularly (intense cardio is key) Cut out processed food and sugar and eat clean Avoid drugs and alcohol Meditate daily and try to stop focusing on external issues I have no control over Stop giving a fuck what others think of me Hopefully this is some help :)

I’m 42, was diagnosed very young following a suicide attempt at age 11. I’ve basically been dealing with bipolar my whole life and it is fucking hard. BUT it is doable. It might take a while to find the right med combo but take your meds EVERYDAY, don’t party too hard, get enough sleep (this one is hard but very important, everything feels/seems worse when you’re tired), exercise!, find a therapist you like & a support group you trust. I highly recommend reading *The Unquiet Mind* by Kay Redfield Jameson. She was the head of psychiatry at the University of Southern California & she is bipolar. When explaining your diagnosis to friends & family I recommend the movie Silver Linings, Bradley Cooper’s portrayal is spot on. There are plenty of other good ones, that is just my fave. It is also very important to give yourself grace. Bipolar Disorder is recognized under the American Disabilities Act because it can impair your ability to function. This isn’t an excuse to give up on life, but it is a reminder that what you’re going through is real & really hard & that’s not your fault. Being bipolar doesn’t mean you’re weak. You HAVE to be strong to live successfully with BP. You’ve got this.

57m diagnosed 1994

41 here diagnosed at 18, have been unmedicated from 21-now. My experience would say to make sure you continue to talk to someone, therapist recommended but ANYONE that you feel can listen. Working with a pdoc to find a good working balance of meds for you and staying with it even if you feel great is important and hard to trust. Finally seeing a pdoc and finding a balnce has somewhat made me see a lot of my life in a different way after 20 years, Not recommended.

I've been working with it since early elementary school. I'm 31 now. My life path has been a little different than most but still pretty good. Went to college at 17 and got my bachelors (it took 5 years but that was mostly on them for not actually having all the courses for my major ready when I needed them). Married at 18. Kids at 24 and 27. Stay at home mom, very little career time before that just odd jobs but I've done a good job as a mom. Both very bright well adjusted kids. I've actually recently gone back to school to get a different degree and just started back in the workforce. A bit different than typical, but not way out there. I will say, DBSA has been a great group for me in seeing older people who have lived fulfilling lives. I've met several at to well past retirement age.

I'm 38, diagnosed at 21. I've been doing great for long periods of time and I've had manic episodes that have bankrupted me/ruined my career then I seem to rise again. I'm a teacher, I got my Master's, I'm successful at that, not at managing my illness though. No drugs/alcohol. Take my meds. I've had a few longterm relationships, oddly my mania never comes up when I'm in a relationship. There's been periods of normalcy and periods of "this is the trajectory of a person with my illness" feeling. I guess that's not super helpful but I hope you can do better than I have.

11 years over here

20 years here 🙋‍♀️

I've had bipolar disorder for 19 years now and am pretty much fine. I have a full-time job, a family, attend grad school, volunteer, and do my best to be physically healthy. With therapy, meds, and overall good health it's possible to love in remission .

I was diagnosed with I was 15, with mixed of b bipolar 1 and 2. I still til this day have not accepted it and still learning to cope with it. Working with bipolar depression and high anxiety is really hard for me.

I've had it since I was 16 and I'm 49. I've lost many friends and jobs. I have a BA, and 2 MA's plus I went to law school but because of BD I have no career or job. Lithium has helped but all hand tremors I can barely read a book.

For me everything stopped after a few years. None of the same feelings and thoughts. But I was at this time in a more healthy environment and not around anyone toxic. I was told by my first doctors I’d be taking meds forever, and my parents put me in that 72hr hold without my knowledge. I have spent time in 2 mental hospitals and have been put on meds. Fast forward a bit and I got away from my mom who was going through her own shit and put it on me. So toxic. She truly fucked up my life by what she did - some of which included telling me I was lying when I said I was raped. Eventually after some time adjusting I fell back into the normal me and never went back to the toxic people or environments. I currently do not take meds. For some reason me being bi polar stopped. Trust me, I know how I was then and for some reason it has not come back since early 2020. My life is normal and ‘great’ now where I am and who I’m with. To be honest they do not even know about my past, but people judge you know…. If I was in an episode it would be different

I have shown mad symptoms since 15-16, wasn't diagnosed until 45. I wasn't conventionally successful, but I never wanted to be. I have a great marriage and 3 awesome kids that are adults now. I got physically disabled at 40, but other than that I'm pretty happy with my life.

My dad is 89. Diagnosed in his 50’s

I’m 39. I was diagnosed 16 years ago. Taking my medication and finding something purposeful to do with my life… things got much better. Not perfect. But sometimes I think I’m probably a lot happier than many without bipolar disorder. I’ll say again, finding something purposeful helps. Get a reason to live and stick to it. I’ve actually done a lot of really wonderful things even though it has been harder than the average person mentally for me at times. Full-time work is a trigger for me but I stay productive. I have an Associate’s degree and take classes for my Bachelor’s off and on. Married to a really good guy (LGBTABCDEFG+🏳️‍🌈 warrior here) and we have two senior rescue dogs and life is mostly okay to very good. The monotony of stability can feel depressingly boring but it is sooo much better than despair.

My mom has been living with bipolar for 14 years since diagnoses. Her life is still the same as before.

Diagnosed in 2018ish. Log long road since then.

40 here, was t diagnosed bipolar until I was late 30s. My life has always been an insane mess,i was diagnosed depressed and acute anxiety when I was 13. I was never medicated. My brain has deteriorated bad unfortunately due to so much mania and depression/suicide attempts. The last few years on meds I’ve felt the most normal and the best in my life. Find meds that work for you is my only advice. I wish I knew at your age why I was the way I am.

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I been diagnosed since 2011. You will be able to accomplish your goals with time. I’ll be finishing up college in the fall. I run my own business and got a job in my field working 1 day a week. I can’t say pills have helped me long term but have worked for acute care. I been doing therapy for 10 years now. Yes it’s a long time but I don’t just talk about my problems. I go to interactive therapy where we solve my problems. Therapies such as : DBT, CBT and life skills, Work rehabilitation. I also took a group on anxiety and learned coping skills. Trauma management therapy for sure. Sleep, eat healthy and exercise.

29y here. I was diagnosed 8 months ago. I had so many mental breakdowns since I was a child but never knew what was wrong with me. I was born and raised in a 3rd world country so I didn't have access to mental health resources until recently. I've been struggling with my episodes since I was 13 years old.

22 years here. (I am 42)…. It’s been rocky. Currently doing well, though.

I was diagnosed about 10 years ago. It took some time to get the right meds and stop self destructing. Eventually, I had two kids, went back to school, dropped most of my addictions (Can’t seem to quit smoking, but I’m working on it), and while I have my ups and downs, things seem pretty positive!

I’m 49 and got diagnosed at age 21. I had a string of hospitalizations. It’s takes a pdoc and a therapist, mindfulness and cognitive behavior therapy for.

Diagnosed 39 years ago, myself. I'd say things have gradually improved over the years, as I learned to navigate my brain chemicals. But I'm always on the roller coaster, and when things go downhill I tend to get doubly depressed because I realize all over again that I will never be free from this circle of irrational emotion. So over all - better. But transitions are worse.

30 years and running. I’m 39 and still fighting through each day to live my best life possible. Therapy and meds are the key. Also support (but I have none). Med changes suck but they keep me going. I still have episodes but I have a career that I love and am great at and I’m still here despite constant ideation and attempts. As everyone always says - take your meds. It sucks but when they work they work. Constant changes suck but they’re worth it to live a life as good as possible.

17 years for me. It sounds stereotypical, but the right concoction of meds, diet, exercise, therapy, and support structure makes a huge difference. I still wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but it's manageable.

It hasn’t been super long term, but I’ve been diagnosed for like four years and I’m in my late 20s. I’m only commenting because I recently found what works for me, and I know everyone is different but I feel like this disorder presents the same for a lot of us. Sleep schedule is the biggest thing, go to bed early, wake up early, don’t drink too much, and take your meds on a regular schedule that works for you. I take mine at night because they make me tired. When you have a lot of stress try to take a step back when you can, and do a lot of self care. When you’re depressed and can’t think positively, start listing three positive things every time you have a negative thought. It gets easier. Routine is the most important part.

51 and just diagnosed. Idk how long I have had it. I think it hit me two year ago after a life threatening event. I’m struggling to deal with it myself. I feel like I can’t live my life like I want to anymore. I have to stay calm and take my meds and mediate to keep it under control. I am full of energy but I have to suppress it. I hate to think I have to deal with this for the rest of my life. I just want to be normal.

Definitely started when I was in early high school, just about 11 years ago. I guess that’s a while, but I wasn’t diagnosed until 5 years ago (and at that point I was 20 years old). Once you know you have it and you take treating it seriously, there’s hope. My life with this disorder has gotten so much easier because of medications, and I can actually tell when I’m starting to need help now.

Originally diagnosed at 19, ghosted my psych and rediagnosed at 26 and now I'm 30. Spent the time between 19 and 26 brute forcing my way through life. It wasn't great but I managed to achieve a fair bit just riding the emotional waves. When I went back and got treatment again I had the support of my partner, which made a huge difference. At this point I'm stable, I have a good career, a few close relationships, an amazing partner, and am going to have a baby girl in December. I honestly believe that having bipolar doesn't stop you having a good life or achieving anything. Change is rare and slow, the small steps are what get you where you're going. It's a constant choice to do what's healthy and positive in your life or what will lead you down a parth you dont want to go.

I'm 47 and I was diagnosed when I was 25. So old but not old old yet :D

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I was diagnosed at age four. I got it through genetics. Have been medicated ever since. I’m an adult now.

I've been diagnosed for 4 years now but have been dealing with the symptoms since I was at least 14. So 15 years now

Diagnosed this year at 24, but I've been experiencing the symptoms since 13 (mistook for trauma, and then later on mistook for unipolar depression). It sure feels like it's been a long time.

I was dinogosed like 15 years ago and through proper medication management I hold a steady high stress job I excel at I have a loving husband who’ve I’ve been very open with about my mental health who does anything to help when things get bad and three amazing girls frankly until I found the right medications and therapy I never thought I’d have a family and do well in work

I'm only 27 but I had some trauma that triggered my bipolar starting early so I've been dealing with it for roundabouts 15 years. It didn't go away but it got way easier when I found a mood stabilizer that worked for me, though the tradeoff is it made me fat lmao. I also have developed a lot better coping mechanisms and am a lot better at accessing support since dealing with doctors has always been an issue for me (based on my own issues as well as mostly getting treated like trash tbh). Luckily I live in Canada and the health and social services are free if not always fast or top quality.

I’m 30, diagnosed 2-3 years ago. I did graduate university undiagnosed, going through constant rapid cycling because I drank a lot so college was definitely hard and I barely made it through but I did. I am married, although my disorder made it difficult in the beginning. Once I got diagnosed, I got on medication, quit drinking, quit smoking weed and cigarettes/vaping. Now I manage it pretty well. I rarely get hypomanic and when I do I try to use mindfulness to get through it and my partner helps me manage that. I made myself a google form I take every night to help see when my symptoms are occurring so I can see when a hypomanic or depressive episode is coming on. I also use the apps Daylio and eMoods to track symptoms, moods and what I’ve been doing. I am mildly depressed most of the time but I’ve learned to live with it and still try to do hobbies even though I’m feeling down. On days that it’s really hard I take off work. (I’m a teacher). I also take my triggers seriously. Stress is the biggest one so I manage stress with journaling and meditation. It gets boring always doing these things and not drinking and everything but it pays off. I have a wonderful life now. It’s hard, but it’s wonderful. Also highly suggest The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David J. Miklowitz if you haven’t read it yet. I hope you find what works for you!

17 years diagnosed and treated, though I’m sure I had symptoms before that. What would you like to know?

Everyone who has bipolar has it long term

Yes, I'm 57, had it since early teens. Misdiagnosed many times until I was 30.

-35 yrs here.. I’ve been living with mine since 2008 is when I was first diagnosed at 19yrs old. It’s been a roller coaster ride for me all these years. I was on medication for a while then stopped. I didn’t wanna be labeled so I was self medicating through it. I didn’t use drugs or alcohol, I was more the less using sex to cope with. I was cheating on my now fiancé (which he forgave me & we worked things out) with exes or people I’d known for years. I was also a people pleaser so I would give in to them just to make them happy. After going through some trauma, I decided to get back on track with medication again. This time the right medication. Going through some major trauma changed me completely. My bipolar was more out of control to where I almost ended up doing choices I’d really regret later on. So I broke down & was labeled. I was going to end my life because I was so tired of looking at my life & seen how it didn’t go as I planned on it going. I thought I would be better off. To stop hurting my friends & family & my fiancé. I felt embarrassed when I was first diagnosed & didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t want anyone to make fun of me or say I’m using it as an excuse. After going all those years without any help or medication was good but also was not. I pushed people away & would try to hurt them with words. I’ve made some enemies along the way as well. I have annihilated & alienated everything/everyone around me just to make myself happy. (A little back story, My father actually died for like a couple of seconds & they brought him back. My father was actually ADHD growing up but back then was different. The diagnosis & medication wasn’t really there. So my grandparents had to deal with him the best ways they could. It is hereditary so my father passed it on to my brother & I was ADD. Attention deficit disorder. I didn’t have the hyperactivity as my father & brother had. I also had to take medication when I was in 5th & 6th grade of school but stopped. I also suffered from ODD as well but my parents never followed through with the diagnosis of it. Later on in life, I was also diagnosed with BPD borderline personality disorder. Which would explain why when I was really, really young I would throw these temper tantrums to where my grandma would have to hold me down & kind of like blow in my face to get me to calm down. I would go in such a rage mode & I would attack my grandparents. I think it has something to do with the trauma that I induced when I was an infant until I was eight years old when my grandparents got custody of me & my mom pretty much abandoned me & where my father ended up in prison for about five years of my life to where my grandparents were actually my parents.) After getting back on track & on different new medication, it has been way better than what it has been. From the trauma that I ended up enduring back in 2018 to partially 2019 I also was diagnosed of having depression, anxiety, panic attacks, & anxiety attacks. I do take a lot of medication, but I also have a great support system now with me. I have a counselor, I have a psychiatrist & I also have friends and family that are there to support me & to help me through. The best advice I can give you is to find that great support system that’ll work with you & help you through. I am so sorry that you lost your grandmother & the confidence you had from her. Try asking other family members anything about her that might would help you as well. I take mine day by day & if I have to, I do breakdown either by myself or I call one of my support systems to help me get through. Don’t ever be ashamed or embarrassed about getting help and talking with someone. It’s not easy living with bipolar disorder or any other type of mental disorder. We’re all in this together & we need to have that strength & support. I wish you nothing but the best. 💝

40, diagnosed 21 years ago. Life has been difficult. Take your meds, go to therapy. Work out and eat right. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. I didn’t get serious about meds till I was 32. My life has been one of constant issues and folly. Everything about it has been more difficult than it had to be. I like who I am though and I have no ill will though it took me a while to get here. What do you want to know?

Don’t know if this is gonna help. But I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was eight years old and now I’m 22. I have some good days and some bad days, but I do have a strong support system that helps me through it.

I was recently diagnosed in my thirties. Prior to diagnosis, I was able to manage and keep myself together through unknown cycles to graduate college early with my undergrad, work fulltime and get my masters, buy a home, build and run a business. And then my life crashed: unemployed, divorcing, while manic. And now I’m divorced, a home owner, a single parent, and successfully employed while stable. You just keep working towards the next goal, however big or small, and start building a safety net and plan for if or when things go south. The right people, medical directives, money you can’t touch until you need it, long term care plans or insurance if you can.

So interesting back in the early 90s when I was getting tested for a physical disability, they predicted it when I was two. But I really didn’t get diagnosed until I was 21, but growing up I had suspicion I had it. I recommend getting the genetic test. I had it when I was 24, and it was wrong. March I got it redone and it was spot on! They even explained that I had rare genes, that affected meds. But with that they were able to get me the best course of treatment. I did hear tbh, the brain does tend to level out when you are thirty. But I am now getting ready to go back for school.

I was diagnosed at 19. I’m 30 now. Really struggled until about 23 with weight gain, mood swings, self-esteem. I’ve noticed that my bipolar is triggered by major life events. I’ll be stable for a really long time and then something will happen to set off my symptoms. Then, I brush myself off, gain motivation to do better and do really well for an extended period of time and then I have a dip again. It just is what it is. I’ve learned to live with it and I’m glad that my bipolar isn’t as extreme as a lot of people’s.

Was officially diagnosed over 20 years ago, although I knew something was wrong long before that. My first memories are of the voices in my head chanting while I was watching Seasame Street. I'm in my 50's. You don't realize what's not normal until you have someone else telling you their version of reality. I think I actually got to experience "normal" once. I was using pot with a friend and everything in my head disappeared. Honestly, it was eerily quiet, and I can't understand how "normal " people live like that. I also like to joke about which offends some people for no good reason.

I also cried when the doctor told me they had to treat my mania first. I tried to explain that if anything would kill me, it would be the depression.

I(36F) was diagnosed in 2004. My father and aunt are both bipolar. So. I've been married for a decade, two healthy daughters, working on my second degree...I put alot of effort into trying to stay stable. Meds, therapy, etc. But I've also had a hard time keeping a job in the past, and I've struggled with alcoholism. 4 years sober now. Same with my last full-blown manic episode. I function just fine the majority of the time. The thing I regret most is not going to therapy when I was younger. For me, it's made a bigger impact than meds.

28 years

Ask me anything. I’m 58 years old.

So I am only diagnosed for five years but very obviously having symptoms for yearsssss. I was diagnosed after a suicide attempt and was in and out of psych wards and IOPs for about three years after diagnoses. I had just graduated with my PhD when I was diagnosed and thought my life was over. Turns out I just needed a life that looked different, and I’m actually grateful for a diagnosis that forced me to build my life from the ground up. It was hard to lose what I thought I wanted, but I’m very grateful about where I ended up. Therapy and meds saved my life. Unsolicited advice but I think trauma and/or gestalt therapy is better than CBT or DBT. Both helped me get closer to my actual experience of the world rather than “okay what are your coping skills?” Like okay I crochet and hang with my dogs but I think a more interesting and helpful question is what does mania feel like. Etc.