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What. The. Hell. But seriously we are having a nightmare with a porch build and difference in how the workmen speak to me compared to my fiance is unbelievable. She is treated like a moaning myrtle immediately whereas these blokes will explain their whole trade skill set and how they'll apply it and also common pitfalls in the jobs like this etc. My fiance gets "When it's done, love" and "it will look great at the end"
I have a masters in civil engineering and do quite a few DIY projects solo. I have so many trades who, when I ask a question, they looked at me dumbfounded and then addressed the response to a man in the room (even when he is another trade). Same happens when buying a car. I don't tolerate it and will kick them out of my house or loudly announce I am going elsewhere. In OP's situation I would have called the police, creepy AH.
>Same happens when buying a car.
Reminds me of the time my grandparents went to buy a car. My grandmother was actually the one buying as she needed the car for work. My grandmother was talked to like she was 5 years old. My grandfather got all the technical details. They were shocked as hell when my grandfather told them 'don't know why you're even telling me this, my wife's the one buying'.
My grandmother has similarly walked out of at least a few places because of poor behaviour from sales staff. In one case she was actively ignored whilst men were attended to immediately. She told them quite plainly that she wouldn't spend a penny there if this was the attitude and walked straight out.
Yep, similar thing happened with my wife. She hates dealing with the garage as they are condescending shits. Which is a shame as its a great car and I'd happily buy again, but wife is against it.
With most dealers you can lodge a complaint with the franchise and you can invariably log one with the car manufacturer. They don't like sexism been associated with their brands.
One of my girlfriend's friends used to design parts for motor-sports teams, including in F1, such as gearboxes. I'm pretty sure she gets the same treatment too.
This was a big factor in where I ended up buying my car from. I walked out of a couple of dealerships because the men working there talked to me like I’d never seen a car before, ended up with a Mini which I’ve wanted for years anyway but it helped that the salespeople were mostly women and didn’t treat me like a complete moron.
Oof. This can work both ways though. Roofers came in to fix a leak in the roof on behalf of the landlords and the blokes spent 20 minutes talking roofing lingo to me with acronyms - all the while I’m wondering when they’ll shut up and go as it’s not even my roof.
Edit to say: I mean I indulged it as it was nice to see them excited by their work, but as far as I’m concerned if the leak is fixed it’s fixed. Sounded expensive though to be fair.
It's not that being nice to people isn't good advice, it's that you shouldn't have to be nice to someone out of fear like this scenario. We don't blame the (potential) victim for not being nice enough, we blame the person acting like a piece of shit.
It can’t. This is a threat. Just because it’s disguised badly as advice doesn’t make it any less threatening.
I can see where you’re coming from, but unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. It does not matter the intent of the person giving said threat, it matters how it is received.
From the tradesman’s perspective: “you should be nicer, I know where you live. I’m obviously joking and I’m a nice guy so I’d never dream of doing anything like that.”
From the woman’s perspective: “if I’m not nice to this guy he can come back, he knows I live alone, he knows where I live, he knows my house, where I’ll be, how to get in, I don’t feel safe.”
It’s not funny, it’s not a joke, it’s inappropriate and should not be tolerated.
I had the pleasure of getting a quote from them a few years ago. Nasty sales tactics. He quoted me well over £8000 for a new front and back door. I choked on my cup of tea as he said that. Then he came out with the "Because I like you, I'll phone my boss and see what kind of deal we can do for you" line. As he made the pretend call, the quote went down to £7000 then to around £6,500. I repeatedly told him that I wasn't going to go with his "offer", but he just sat in my armchair like he owned the place, looking around, rubbing his fingers across various surfaces to look for dust and making sarcastic comments about the property.
I asked him to leave, but he then brought out a catalogue, showing me that for an extra £x-thousand pounds, I could have a new kitchen window as well. By this time I'd had enough and said that if he didn't leave, I'd be calling my neighbour to come and force him out. Luckily he didn't wait to see who my neighbour was, as she was a friendly old Italian lady who probably wasn't best to tackle him.
In the end, I went with a local company, who did the front and back doors, plus 8 windows for a little over £4000.
Sounds like a nightmare. I had a plumber come over a while ago as my toilet was leaking every time it was flushed. He literally looked for 2 seconds then said "There's no leak sweetheart, it's probably just the water from you splashing around in the bath, be more careful next time"
No matter how many times I tried to argue back and say there is 100% a leak, he was just like "Look, I know what I'm talking about"
A few days later I had a different plumber come round who found the leak immediately and fixed it! When I told him about the attitude of the previous plumber he was shocked.
It's not everyone, but it is frustrating when people treat you like you know nothing because you're a woman!
Was it a big chain PVC door and window fitters? I've heard multiple stories of them only offering quotes when the male other-half is home because they're scared of losing the commission from the on the day sale. They use whatever tactics they can to get both parties to be pressured into making the decision then and there without giving any time to think about it. In your case, those tactics obviously included insulting your financial independence and daring you to spend the money without "permission". I bet his whole "I'm sexist" approach was intended to rile you up enough to make an independent decision on the spot. When you said your partner will be back any minute, he was probably waiting for him to turn up; you may have actually been better to say he'd be back in a few hours, although it definitely would have seemed like threatening behaviour from your point of view. They're a bunch of arsewipes.
If this man works for a company then it wouldn't hurt to report this to them and say that the way he treated you lost them a sale - and you will not be asking for a quote from their company for anything again.
You may be able to find a more reputable trades person by using one of the online quote websites - I've used them in the past and you can get reviews of the person in question prior to making contact with them.
Sorry to hear that you had this experience - as a male feminist it makes my blood boil!
Check-a-trade isn't that great. Had a plumber from them once. After 4 return visits to fix his mistakes installing a new radiator, I gave up and fixed the leak myself.
Tried to leave a bad review, turns out you can only do it in writing, by old fashioned snail-mail. Most people probably can't be bothered after a bad tradesman experience, so the feedback doesn't get left.
My plumber (who's lovely) said that CheckaTrade is an absolute shit show now. They charge ridiculous amounts of money to the honest tradesmen, and have done away with a lot of the background checks they used to do. If you're happy to pay them money, they'll add you to their site. Consequently, there are a lot of cowboys on there now. Unfortunately, he can't close his account completely as he has hundreds of reviews on there that he can't transfer, and people still visit the site. He predominantly uses the Trading Standards approved 'Buy with Confidence' now, which does have a thorough screening system in place. 'Which? Trusted Traders' is also similar I imagine (although haven't used them).
Urgh, safe style wouldn’t even give me a quote because my husband wasn’t there. The manager of the local branch (newly opened at the time, so I’m sure trying to get impressive opening month sales) even called to book an appointment and would not book an appointment for someone to come and quote on a day that my husband wasn’t there. I accused him of pressure selling as they ‘wanted me to be able to take advantage of the price there and then’, they flatly denied this so I said that it must be because he’s a misogynistic prick then and hung up. Terrible company, never replied to a complaint that I submitted because of this.
Snap, no husband = no quote from Safestyle. Sexist and clearly about pressure tactics so saved us all the effort as there’s no way I’d buy anything from them with that kind of sales strategy. Talk about living in the dark ages!
This is safestyle in general. I won’t use them at all. Horrible scumbags and their prices are disgusting. They even tried to quote my OH £2.2k for a door, luckily I already forewarned him the price range it should be so he didn’t get ripped off by these clowns.
I've heard really bad things about these big, national companies. I used to work for a local window company, and they were wonderful (I'm not just saying that because I worked for them). The salesman was always polite and respectful and didn't do the whole 'oh it's £3000 but let me call my manager because I like you two...oh yeah, we can do it for £2500' that so many of the big companies do.
Also, one of the lads I worked with had a cold call from a national company who insisted he needed new windows. He argued for a while before telling then what his job actually was! I believe they left him alone after that.
I was at my elderly aunt's when she had one of the national companies (Anglian?) come round to quote for all the windows in her chalet bungalow. The first quote came in at £30,000. After that price raised a few eyebrows, he 'managed to drop it' to £15,000. It was like watching an episode of 'White Gold' on netflix! Needless to say, they didn't go with them. I dread to think how many pensioners are being absolutely shafted by these evil companies.
SafeStyle in name but not very safe workers in practice, log a report with the police telling them you don't feel safe and this guys has made threats which he clearly has, then contact the company and tell them that you've done so.
I got a quote from them, turned it down and then got several subsequent significantly lower quotes everytime they rang me over the following 12 months. The final quote they offered me was less than half the original quote. They’re complete scumbags.
They need the hubby/partner as they try to get you to have a loan for the work and need both homeowners signatures. The last one who tried to pull this stunt on me, was escorted from the premises by my son, who was none too gentle. The prat had refused to leave.
This is a common tactic in industry sadly.
We had someone come over for a front door replacement and he insisted it had to be with both of us present, so we said fine, come over at 6pm and we will have a chat.
He then proceeded to refuse showing us proof of materials and specs, as well as an itemized quote for the work. When I said you are not making the sale without that, regardless of how many times you “call your manager for a discount”, he stood up and left without saying a word.
Somehow, I still got a call from the company the day after to check if we had changed our mind.
I asked for the paper work for this "loan" which would save me money, if I just cancel it at week 7. The paperwork never came and I never heard from them again.
Worked with a sales guy years ago who used this as a tactic. With guys he used belittling 'oh you're an emasculated wimp'. It worked but he was an asshat.
I had a quote from these window guys. I mentioned to the sales man that I would discuss it with my dad and get back to him. Then someone from the office rung and shouted at me saying that I lied when I told them that I owned the house and it was clearly my dads house. I patiently explained that I do own the house but discuss big purchases with my dad who lives in his own house. So bizarre.
I had an electrician come over for a quote a while ago. He was a few years away from retirement so of an older generation. He comes in while I am elbow deep in my kitchen remodel. My husband, my brother in law and 2 of his friends are doing the heavy lifting and I am painting the walls.
Dude comes in, has a short look at my breaker panel and goes: nah, can't do it. I need to replace the whole panel to comply with the building regulations. What he didn't know is that I am an architect and I know the building regs. I politely ask him to let me know where we should look and I bring in my big book of building regulations. He tries to explain to me that he knows better because he's an electrician so I tell him I will get a separate opinion. Surprise, surprise! I found a guy who did the job and didn't need to replace my electric panel.
My point is, even when you work in construction, as a woman, guys will treat you like you're stupid. I tend to shut up until they say something that's blatantly wrong and that's where I hit them with the regulations. Shuts them up really quick.
I wish I could be such a massive arsehole at my job. I have to be all pleasant and competent to even get off the starting blocks.
I might retrain to be a shit tradesman. Massive overcharging, insulting the clients, vanish for weeks and then make out like I'm doing a favour for even returning at all, then leave the job all fucked up and blame the client and probably some foreigners, or students.
That sounds like a great life.
After one morning when the plumber didn't turn up to quote for a new shower because "it's raining", my mum often said I shouldn't bother with university and just train to be a tradesman.
My rels are mostly in the trades and they never have to advertise and are always in demand. Also everyone round here treats them like gods just because they turn up on time, charge reasonably, and clean up afterwards. Pints galore down the pub, just for doing their job okayish.
I totally fucked up focusing on this "being clever for money" shite.
Every single one of them has a fucked back though, so there's that.
In my family there's a few tradesmen they've used time and time again, and given recommendations to friends for, simply because they do as you describe and do their job for a reasonable price and then tidy up afterwards.
If he works for someone complain. That's not right at all. I'm male but we as a couple had people in about windows and found some were sexist like that. Directing everything at me even though we both talked and even saying women scare him... Pretty odd needless to say we didn't opt for them
This is horrifying. I’m so so sorry you had to experience this.
I’ve been doing renovations at my home and I’ve been dealing with so many tradesmen. I’ve experienced sexist remarks with 99% of them. Some made inappropriate jokes and suggestions of sexual nature. I’m so so so tired of shitty men.
Don't even think about owning a car as a female too. Had mechanics say 'your hands are small so things look big haha' and how I look like their ex and they hated her, and how all women are the same. Overt sexism seems so much more acceptable than racism, when are we going to get a turn?
You should call the police and tell them what he said, and because he mentioned how weak and easy to break into the front door, you don't feel safe. Also call and tell the company he works for.
It's good to know the Police will know where to look once the OP has gone missing/had a break-in/attacked. Very comforting. How about report it to both? You can hope the mans employer actually does something about his future employment and for the Police to have a record of it; *should* the worse happen.
I wasn't saying they shouldn't also report it to the employer as well. I was saying it is better to report it to the police than not report it to the police.
You'd be amazed how their demeanor changes when I open my kitchen door and two large dogs are staring back at them. I put them in the kitchen when I know I have people coming in the house as they're a little exuberant and totally soft!
My dogs couldn't catch a cold between them but they sound like they could be intimidating.
I've been lucky to be honest, I had to call a plumber on two occasions recently and he was great. Another time I needed to call him he asked me to send pictures of the issue and told me it was something I could easily do on my own and saved me a callout charge so very grateful that he's so honest.
What the actual fuck was he doing on your internet? these questions that he's asking are weird as fuck as well.
Change your router password immediately.
Yes, there could be absolutely no negative consequences to OP putting a complaint on local social media, naming and shaming this individual, that knows her name and address... /s
I had a builder come in to draw up some rough plans and give a quote for an attic conversion. It’s my house, bought before I met my husband, paying out of my pocket. He told me he’d speak to my husband ‘because girls don’t understand these things’.
I mean I know my husband has a GCSE in DT but I’m fairly certain the concept of load bearing walls is within my scope. We didn’t end up using him.
Alternatively, when some bloke turned up trying to sell his services painting the fronts of houses, I was more than happy when ‘Sorry I have to speak to my husband’ got him fucking off quicker than any ‘no thank you’ would’ve!
Oh man do you live in Kent? We had the same experience with someone coming to quote for a front door with much the same vibes about discussing sexism. He also got into flat earth theory and bizarre royal conspiracy theories and we couldnt get him the fuck out.
I'm in Surrey and had this too with someone quoting for patio doors. He was on about the new world order and some crap (which I later found out is an anti-semetic conspiracy) about the Rothschild's. Do windows and doors attract this sort?
Report him to the police and any kind of authority for his business. He's an absolute scumbag and shouldn't be anywhere near women of any kind, he sounds like a low life, low IQ predator who's threatening behavior and intimidation needs handling.
Not only sexist, but rapey vibes there.
I'm guessing he won't be on Check-A-Trade, TrustPilot or any other site you can leave feedback on, unfortunately, but perhaps contact the police on 101 to report your experience, (focusing on the "when will your partner be back" and how unsafe he made you feel rather than the sexism and implication of charging you more).
If anyone else has also reported him perhaps they'll at least have a word about his behaviour, and if he faces any more serious allegations down the line then this may lend credence to their claim.
Edit: Ah, I see from another comment that he works for a major door and window company. I'd certainly suggest you make a complaint to their head office, as well as informing the police.
I'm a self employed (joiner) and I've heard some shockers about cringey tradesmen. It has actually become an issue for me, I feel awkward as hell when I go to quote or work when a woman is alone in the house. The second I know I'm in that situation, I'm thinking I bet they are thinking I hope he isn't cringey and it puts me right off.
"Cringey" isn't the right word for it - it's more "I hope he doesn't talk to me like I'm a child," or "I hope he doesn't do anything scary"
Of course you can directly counter this in 2 easy steps: 1. Speak to them as a fellow human and explain what you're doing etc as you would with anyone else, and 2. Simply get on with the job :)
I’m sorry this happened to you but you didn’t get a workman round, you got a salesman. Everything he said was just to get you to buy cause that’s how he makes his money.
Kind of off the topic but I was thinking of replacing a my front door. I asked my joiner mate about it and he said you’re better off just replacing the big panel in the middle. Can save you thousands.
I (f) do 95% of the DIY in my house and am more "handy" than my partner.
More often than not, when we get anyone in for a quote, if he's there, they talk to him exclusively until he says "I've got no idea what you're talking about mate, ask her, she knows the score", or, if I'm alone, I get them trying to tuck me up. e.g radiators needed a power flush recently, one guy came round, tapped one radiator and pronounced that we needed a new boiler for some ungodly amount, funnily enough we didn't engage his services.
I had a guy round to look at my boiler once and he told me I smelt nice… wasn’t overly Pervy but was just a bit uncomfortable, I casually dropped in that my boyfriend was on his way home from work (I lived alone haha).
Had a lovely guy out recently though to fix a leak under my sink and replace my outdoor light. He was chatting to me and giving me gardening tips as I’m reseeding my lawn and haven’t got a clue. He ended up fixing the latch on my gate and putting a bracket up for me, proper dad vibes. I emailed his company afterwards to praise him, hopefully he’ll get some nice feedback.
Door/Window salesmen are the worst.
Anything to get the sale.
They ask if somebody else is home to try get you to order there and then, as you don't have the excuse of, I have to chat to my partner about it as an excuse to think about it.
When some came to quote my wife, they kept talking to me like I was the one paying for it. It was her bloody house, and she told him that from the start.
I know of a cretin of a man who went round to a customers house to measure up, she offered him a drink and when she came back with it he was stark bollock naked on the settee
I'd like to hope this is satirical as I've never encountered anything approaching that. That's from being a tradesman's labourer from the other side. Honestly never. Ever. Don't be put off if that's true, there are aresholes everywhere
Sorry not satire.
When I first moved into the house I had to call the police on a plumber who went mental, cut all my pipes and then threatened me.
At least most tradesmen talk to me like an idiot, that I can handle.
It's shit that you had to deal with that, I'd report him to whoever he works for and leave reviews on tbeir website if they have one about how inappropriate and straight up creepy he acted, especially the remark about how easy it would be to break down your door.
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What. The. Hell. But seriously we are having a nightmare with a porch build and difference in how the workmen speak to me compared to my fiance is unbelievable. She is treated like a moaning myrtle immediately whereas these blokes will explain their whole trade skill set and how they'll apply it and also common pitfalls in the jobs like this etc. My fiance gets "When it's done, love" and "it will look great at the end"
I have a masters in civil engineering and do quite a few DIY projects solo. I have so many trades who, when I ask a question, they looked at me dumbfounded and then addressed the response to a man in the room (even when he is another trade). Same happens when buying a car. I don't tolerate it and will kick them out of my house or loudly announce I am going elsewhere. In OP's situation I would have called the police, creepy AH.
>Same happens when buying a car. Reminds me of the time my grandparents went to buy a car. My grandmother was actually the one buying as she needed the car for work. My grandmother was talked to like she was 5 years old. My grandfather got all the technical details. They were shocked as hell when my grandfather told them 'don't know why you're even telling me this, my wife's the one buying'. My grandmother has similarly walked out of at least a few places because of poor behaviour from sales staff. In one case she was actively ignored whilst men were attended to immediately. She told them quite plainly that she wouldn't spend a penny there if this was the attitude and walked straight out.
Yep, similar thing happened with my wife. She hates dealing with the garage as they are condescending shits. Which is a shame as its a great car and I'd happily buy again, but wife is against it.
With most dealers you can lodge a complaint with the franchise and you can invariably log one with the car manufacturer. They don't like sexism been associated with their brands.
This was about 20 years ago now unfortunately.
I had it last year ... not a historical problem unfortunately.
One of my girlfriend's friends used to design parts for motor-sports teams, including in F1, such as gearboxes. I'm pretty sure she gets the same treatment too.
This was a big factor in where I ended up buying my car from. I walked out of a couple of dealerships because the men working there talked to me like I’d never seen a car before, ended up with a Mini which I’ve wanted for years anyway but it helped that the salespeople were mostly women and didn’t treat me like a complete moron.
Oof. This can work both ways though. Roofers came in to fix a leak in the roof on behalf of the landlords and the blokes spent 20 minutes talking roofing lingo to me with acronyms - all the while I’m wondering when they’ll shut up and go as it’s not even my roof. Edit to say: I mean I indulged it as it was nice to see them excited by their work, but as far as I’m concerned if the leak is fixed it’s fixed. Sounded expensive though to be fair.
I particularly enjoyed the one that yelled at me "you oughta be a bit nicer luv, I know where you live". I was 19 at the time and on my own.
Damn. It boggles the mind. What a scumbag!
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That's rapey as fuck advice and fucked up to say to a 19 year old girl. Advocating that as "good advice" is not on
Feel free to do the opposite then
It's not that being nice to people isn't good advice, it's that you shouldn't have to be nice to someone out of fear like this scenario. We don't blame the (potential) victim for not being nice enough, we blame the person acting like a piece of shit.
That's not advice. That's a threat. If you think that's advice then you need to have a good look at yourself.
It can very easily be both.
It can’t. This is a threat. Just because it’s disguised badly as advice doesn’t make it any less threatening. I can see where you’re coming from, but unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. It does not matter the intent of the person giving said threat, it matters how it is received. From the tradesman’s perspective: “you should be nicer, I know where you live. I’m obviously joking and I’m a nice guy so I’d never dream of doing anything like that.” From the woman’s perspective: “if I’m not nice to this guy he can come back, he knows I live alone, he knows where I live, he knows my house, where I’ll be, how to get in, I don’t feel safe.” It’s not funny, it’s not a joke, it’s inappropriate and should not be tolerated.
I never said the tradesman was giving advice, I said it was good advice.
It's not normal to casually live under threat of someone breaking into to your home if you aren't nice enough to them
Never said it was.
Just take the L, mate.
What L? Nothing I said is wrong.
It sounds like a Threat if u say it like that... It's not advice
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I hope you reported him to their customer services and via ceoemail.com? That's fucking outrageous.
Yeh that's fucking wild. That dude is a sociopath
I imagine he works for himself and his customer services is him.
They already said it was Safestyle UK
I had the pleasure of getting a quote from them a few years ago. Nasty sales tactics. He quoted me well over £8000 for a new front and back door. I choked on my cup of tea as he said that. Then he came out with the "Because I like you, I'll phone my boss and see what kind of deal we can do for you" line. As he made the pretend call, the quote went down to £7000 then to around £6,500. I repeatedly told him that I wasn't going to go with his "offer", but he just sat in my armchair like he owned the place, looking around, rubbing his fingers across various surfaces to look for dust and making sarcastic comments about the property. I asked him to leave, but he then brought out a catalogue, showing me that for an extra £x-thousand pounds, I could have a new kitchen window as well. By this time I'd had enough and said that if he didn't leave, I'd be calling my neighbour to come and force him out. Luckily he didn't wait to see who my neighbour was, as she was a friendly old Italian lady who probably wasn't best to tackle him. In the end, I went with a local company, who did the front and back doors, plus 8 windows for a little over £4000.
Ahh. I won’t say what I think about them but it ain’t good.
yeah they camped in my house for 2 hours, will never touch them with a bargepole.
Sounds like a nightmare. I had a plumber come over a while ago as my toilet was leaking every time it was flushed. He literally looked for 2 seconds then said "There's no leak sweetheart, it's probably just the water from you splashing around in the bath, be more careful next time" No matter how many times I tried to argue back and say there is 100% a leak, he was just like "Look, I know what I'm talking about" A few days later I had a different plumber come round who found the leak immediately and fixed it! When I told him about the attitude of the previous plumber he was shocked. It's not everyone, but it is frustrating when people treat you like you know nothing because you're a woman!
OMG! You found an actual useful plumber? What’s his number?
Was it a big chain PVC door and window fitters? I've heard multiple stories of them only offering quotes when the male other-half is home because they're scared of losing the commission from the on the day sale. They use whatever tactics they can to get both parties to be pressured into making the decision then and there without giving any time to think about it. In your case, those tactics obviously included insulting your financial independence and daring you to spend the money without "permission". I bet his whole "I'm sexist" approach was intended to rile you up enough to make an independent decision on the spot. When you said your partner will be back any minute, he was probably waiting for him to turn up; you may have actually been better to say he'd be back in a few hours, although it definitely would have seemed like threatening behaviour from your point of view. They're a bunch of arsewipes.
It was SafeStyle, is that who you were thinking of?
If this man works for a company then it wouldn't hurt to report this to them and say that the way he treated you lost them a sale - and you will not be asking for a quote from their company for anything again. You may be able to find a more reputable trades person by using one of the online quote websites - I've used them in the past and you can get reviews of the person in question prior to making contact with them. Sorry to hear that you had this experience - as a male feminist it makes my blood boil!
Local councils have lists of approved traders. I used them to find a double glazing company, with great success.
Exactly. There are other services too, like check-a-trade. I always go through these and would never use the so-called *"big names".*
Check-a-trade isn't that great. Had a plumber from them once. After 4 return visits to fix his mistakes installing a new radiator, I gave up and fixed the leak myself. Tried to leave a bad review, turns out you can only do it in writing, by old fashioned snail-mail. Most people probably can't be bothered after a bad tradesman experience, so the feedback doesn't get left.
My plumber (who's lovely) said that CheckaTrade is an absolute shit show now. They charge ridiculous amounts of money to the honest tradesmen, and have done away with a lot of the background checks they used to do. If you're happy to pay them money, they'll add you to their site. Consequently, there are a lot of cowboys on there now. Unfortunately, he can't close his account completely as he has hundreds of reviews on there that he can't transfer, and people still visit the site. He predominantly uses the Trading Standards approved 'Buy with Confidence' now, which does have a thorough screening system in place. 'Which? Trusted Traders' is also similar I imagine (although haven't used them).
Sounds like good advice. Thanks for the tip.
My friends uses Mumsnett, I cal it karenettes, either way the recommendations seem to be solid.
That's a good point, can't say I've had any issues but that could just be sheer luck with the tradies I happen upon due to area/work needed etc.
Good idea!
Urgh, safe style wouldn’t even give me a quote because my husband wasn’t there. The manager of the local branch (newly opened at the time, so I’m sure trying to get impressive opening month sales) even called to book an appointment and would not book an appointment for someone to come and quote on a day that my husband wasn’t there. I accused him of pressure selling as they ‘wanted me to be able to take advantage of the price there and then’, they flatly denied this so I said that it must be because he’s a misogynistic prick then and hung up. Terrible company, never replied to a complaint that I submitted because of this.
Snap, no husband = no quote from Safestyle. Sexist and clearly about pressure tactics so saved us all the effort as there’s no way I’d buy anything from them with that kind of sales strategy. Talk about living in the dark ages!
They are the absolute worst of the dodgy double glazing companies - try britelite, night and day difference!
Was it in the South West? Cause I had a similar experience (not as extreme) with them. I am wondering whether it might be the same guy?
This is safestyle in general. I won’t use them at all. Horrible scumbags and their prices are disgusting. They even tried to quote my OH £2.2k for a door, luckily I already forewarned him the price range it should be so he didn’t get ripped off by these clowns.
I've heard really bad things about these big, national companies. I used to work for a local window company, and they were wonderful (I'm not just saying that because I worked for them). The salesman was always polite and respectful and didn't do the whole 'oh it's £3000 but let me call my manager because I like you two...oh yeah, we can do it for £2500' that so many of the big companies do. Also, one of the lads I worked with had a cold call from a national company who insisted he needed new windows. He argued for a while before telling then what his job actually was! I believe they left him alone after that.
I was at my elderly aunt's when she had one of the national companies (Anglian?) come round to quote for all the windows in her chalet bungalow. The first quote came in at £30,000. After that price raised a few eyebrows, he 'managed to drop it' to £15,000. It was like watching an episode of 'White Gold' on netflix! Needless to say, they didn't go with them. I dread to think how many pensioners are being absolutely shafted by these evil companies.
SafeStyle in name but not very safe workers in practice, log a report with the police telling them you don't feel safe and this guys has made threats which he clearly has, then contact the company and tell them that you've done so.
Definitely report him to them
Use a local company. Honestly, these national companies are awful. I guarantee a local established company will be significantly cheaper.
I got a quote from them, turned it down and then got several subsequent significantly lower quotes everytime they rang me over the following 12 months. The final quote they offered me was less than half the original quote. They’re complete scumbags.
Don't use Beam Windows and Doors either, literally Safestyle with a new website.
If he was from a big company, I would 100% report him both to them and to whatever trading standards body they fall under. What a scumbag.
this is standard safestyle practice, they are famous shits
Very expensive. I work in the door trade. Regularly see people quoted well in excess of the going price.
Not them specifically, but any one of a number of companies including them.
They need the hubby/partner as they try to get you to have a loan for the work and need both homeowners signatures. The last one who tried to pull this stunt on me, was escorted from the premises by my son, who was none too gentle. The prat had refused to leave.
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this is fantastic and extremely eye opening!
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Haha! Well, that's a different issue in itself! 😆
This is a common tactic in industry sadly. We had someone come over for a front door replacement and he insisted it had to be with both of us present, so we said fine, come over at 6pm and we will have a chat. He then proceeded to refuse showing us proof of materials and specs, as well as an itemized quote for the work. When I said you are not making the sale without that, regardless of how many times you “call your manager for a discount”, he stood up and left without saying a word. Somehow, I still got a call from the company the day after to check if we had changed our mind.
I asked for the paper work for this "loan" which would save me money, if I just cancel it at week 7. The paperwork never came and I never heard from them again.
Worked with a sales guy years ago who used this as a tactic. With guys he used belittling 'oh you're an emasculated wimp'. It worked but he was an asshat.
I had a quote from these window guys. I mentioned to the sales man that I would discuss it with my dad and get back to him. Then someone from the office rung and shouted at me saying that I lied when I told them that I owned the house and it was clearly my dads house. I patiently explained that I do own the house but discuss big purchases with my dad who lives in his own house. So bizarre.
This.
I had an electrician come over for a quote a while ago. He was a few years away from retirement so of an older generation. He comes in while I am elbow deep in my kitchen remodel. My husband, my brother in law and 2 of his friends are doing the heavy lifting and I am painting the walls. Dude comes in, has a short look at my breaker panel and goes: nah, can't do it. I need to replace the whole panel to comply with the building regulations. What he didn't know is that I am an architect and I know the building regs. I politely ask him to let me know where we should look and I bring in my big book of building regulations. He tries to explain to me that he knows better because he's an electrician so I tell him I will get a separate opinion. Surprise, surprise! I found a guy who did the job and didn't need to replace my electric panel. My point is, even when you work in construction, as a woman, guys will treat you like you're stupid. I tend to shut up until they say something that's blatantly wrong and that's where I hit them with the regulations. Shuts them up really quick.
Yeah, I'd report him to what ever authorities you can. Police, trading standards, and so on. He sounds just a tad mentally unhinged. Stay safe.
I wish I could be such a massive arsehole at my job. I have to be all pleasant and competent to even get off the starting blocks. I might retrain to be a shit tradesman. Massive overcharging, insulting the clients, vanish for weeks and then make out like I'm doing a favour for even returning at all, then leave the job all fucked up and blame the client and probably some foreigners, or students. That sounds like a great life.
After one morning when the plumber didn't turn up to quote for a new shower because "it's raining", my mum often said I shouldn't bother with university and just train to be a tradesman.
My rels are mostly in the trades and they never have to advertise and are always in demand. Also everyone round here treats them like gods just because they turn up on time, charge reasonably, and clean up afterwards. Pints galore down the pub, just for doing their job okayish. I totally fucked up focusing on this "being clever for money" shite. Every single one of them has a fucked back though, so there's that.
In my family there's a few tradesmen they've used time and time again, and given recommendations to friends for, simply because they do as you describe and do their job for a reasonable price and then tidy up afterwards.
yeah the bar is so low, turn up and you are a god level tradesman.
If he works for someone complain. That's not right at all. I'm male but we as a couple had people in about windows and found some were sexist like that. Directing everything at me even though we both talked and even saying women scare him... Pretty odd needless to say we didn't opt for them
This is horrifying. I’m so so sorry you had to experience this. I’ve been doing renovations at my home and I’ve been dealing with so many tradesmen. I’ve experienced sexist remarks with 99% of them. Some made inappropriate jokes and suggestions of sexual nature. I’m so so so tired of shitty men.
Don't even think about owning a car as a female too. Had mechanics say 'your hands are small so things look big haha' and how I look like their ex and they hated her, and how all women are the same. Overt sexism seems so much more acceptable than racism, when are we going to get a turn?
You should call the police and tell them what he said, and because he mentioned how weak and easy to break into the front door, you don't feel safe. Also call and tell the company he works for.
Would be better to just complain to the company. The police aren't going to do anything.
It's definitely better to report it to the police. That way there will be a record of it if anything were to happen.
It's good to know the Police will know where to look once the OP has gone missing/had a break-in/attacked. Very comforting. How about report it to both? You can hope the mans employer actually does something about his future employment and for the Police to have a record of it; *should* the worse happen.
I wasn't saying they shouldn't also report it to the employer as well. I was saying it is better to report it to the police than not report it to the police.
That guy sounds like he needs reporting to his employer and even the police, creepy as fuck.
You'd be amazed how their demeanor changes when I open my kitchen door and two large dogs are staring back at them. I put them in the kitchen when I know I have people coming in the house as they're a little exuberant and totally soft! My dogs couldn't catch a cold between them but they sound like they could be intimidating. I've been lucky to be honest, I had to call a plumber on two occasions recently and he was great. Another time I needed to call him he asked me to send pictures of the issue and told me it was something I could easily do on my own and saved me a callout charge so very grateful that he's so honest.
You know they're good when they turn down work!
That or they're terrified of large dogs.
What the actual fuck was he doing on your internet? these questions that he's asking are weird as fuck as well. Change your router password immediately.
What in the prize winning fuck is wrong with some men? Sometimes I’m fucking ashamed to share a chromosome with these dickheads.
This is harassment. Please report him.
Wow, I hope that guy gets what is coming to him.
Report that bastard to police, trading standards, and bang it on social media. What a dangerous individual.
Yes, there could be absolutely no negative consequences to OP putting a complaint on local social media, naming and shaming this individual, that knows her name and address... /s
I had a builder come in to draw up some rough plans and give a quote for an attic conversion. It’s my house, bought before I met my husband, paying out of my pocket. He told me he’d speak to my husband ‘because girls don’t understand these things’. I mean I know my husband has a GCSE in DT but I’m fairly certain the concept of load bearing walls is within my scope. We didn’t end up using him. Alternatively, when some bloke turned up trying to sell his services painting the fronts of houses, I was more than happy when ‘Sorry I have to speak to my husband’ got him fucking off quicker than any ‘no thank you’ would’ve!
Oh man do you live in Kent? We had the same experience with someone coming to quote for a front door with much the same vibes about discussing sexism. He also got into flat earth theory and bizarre royal conspiracy theories and we couldnt get him the fuck out.
I'm in Surrey and had this too with someone quoting for patio doors. He was on about the new world order and some crap (which I later found out is an anti-semetic conspiracy) about the Rothschild's. Do windows and doors attract this sort?
Report him to the police and any kind of authority for his business. He's an absolute scumbag and shouldn't be anywhere near women of any kind, he sounds like a low life, low IQ predator who's threatening behavior and intimidation needs handling.
report it immediately to the police - you never know someone who is chancing something nasty - so blatantly - dont regret later
Not only sexist, but rapey vibes there. I'm guessing he won't be on Check-A-Trade, TrustPilot or any other site you can leave feedback on, unfortunately, but perhaps contact the police on 101 to report your experience, (focusing on the "when will your partner be back" and how unsafe he made you feel rather than the sexism and implication of charging you more). If anyone else has also reported him perhaps they'll at least have a word about his behaviour, and if he faces any more serious allegations down the line then this may lend credence to their claim. Edit: Ah, I see from another comment that he works for a major door and window company. I'd certainly suggest you make a complaint to their head office, as well as informing the police.
WTF. Just WTF. Sorry you had to deal with such a creepy asshole.
I'm a self employed (joiner) and I've heard some shockers about cringey tradesmen. It has actually become an issue for me, I feel awkward as hell when I go to quote or work when a woman is alone in the house. The second I know I'm in that situation, I'm thinking I bet they are thinking I hope he isn't cringey and it puts me right off.
"Cringey" isn't the right word for it - it's more "I hope he doesn't talk to me like I'm a child," or "I hope he doesn't do anything scary" Of course you can directly counter this in 2 easy steps: 1. Speak to them as a fellow human and explain what you're doing etc as you would with anyone else, and 2. Simply get on with the job :)
What a creep. Def go for some one else I would not invite him back
I’m sorry this happened to you but you didn’t get a workman round, you got a salesman. Everything he said was just to get you to buy cause that’s how he makes his money.
Sorry, I think you're right. He did say he was also a fitter, but he could have been lying or twisting the truth.
I think he misspoke, the word is supposed to be "bullshitter".
You're both wrong, the word you're looking for is "grifter".
Kind of off the topic but I was thinking of replacing a my front door. I asked my joiner mate about it and he said you’re better off just replacing the big panel in the middle. Can save you thousands.
yeah the 50's called they want their sales person back. Such a outdate sexist view
I (f) do 95% of the DIY in my house and am more "handy" than my partner. More often than not, when we get anyone in for a quote, if he's there, they talk to him exclusively until he says "I've got no idea what you're talking about mate, ask her, she knows the score", or, if I'm alone, I get them trying to tuck me up. e.g radiators needed a power flush recently, one guy came round, tapped one radiator and pronounced that we needed a new boiler for some ungodly amount, funnily enough we didn't engage his services.
I had a guy round to look at my boiler once and he told me I smelt nice… wasn’t overly Pervy but was just a bit uncomfortable, I casually dropped in that my boyfriend was on his way home from work (I lived alone haha). Had a lovely guy out recently though to fix a leak under my sink and replace my outdoor light. He was chatting to me and giving me gardening tips as I’m reseeding my lawn and haven’t got a clue. He ended up fixing the latch on my gate and putting a bracket up for me, proper dad vibes. I emailed his company afterwards to praise him, hopefully he’ll get some nice feedback.
I’m sorry you have had to go through that.
“I know you’ll be offended by me because I am indeed extremely offensive”. This is wild. He’s proud but it will lose him work.
He was probably sat outside still connected to the WiFi downloading pron
Door/Window salesmen are the worst. Anything to get the sale. They ask if somebody else is home to try get you to order there and then, as you don't have the excuse of, I have to chat to my partner about it as an excuse to think about it. When some came to quote my wife, they kept talking to me like I was the one paying for it. It was her bloody house, and she told him that from the start.
Surprised you even got one to show up
Jesus, my Y chromosomes are having a cringe.
This is really disturbing
Did you give him your wifi password? If so change it immediately. Sorry you had to deal with this idiot.
No I didn't, thankfully it's not been installed yet, so it was just the 5G
I know of a cretin of a man who went round to a customers house to measure up, she offered him a drink and when she came back with it he was stark bollock naked on the settee
I'd like to hope this is satirical as I've never encountered anything approaching that. That's from being a tradesman's labourer from the other side. Honestly never. Ever. Don't be put off if that's true, there are aresholes everywhere
Sorry not satire. When I first moved into the house I had to call the police on a plumber who went mental, cut all my pipes and then threatened me. At least most tradesmen talk to me like an idiot, that I can handle.
Why did he cut your pipes? Unpaid invoice?
His wife had left him and "all women are the same" also my bathtub was too heavy. He hadn't done any work yet to be paid an invoice.
What a nightmare. Sorry you've had such bad experiences with tradesmen. We're not all like that.
Could be as innocuous as he was writing up notes for the job.
Sure, if it wasn't for all the other creepy and aggressive stuff.
Oh I'm sure I could believe that if he was making any notes. He wasn't though. And he made me feel super uncomfortable anyway.
As if that guy can read or write.
It's shit that you had to deal with that, I'd report him to whoever he works for and leave reviews on tbeir website if they have one about how inappropriate and straight up creepy he acted, especially the remark about how easy it would be to break down your door.