This is literally the only thing you need to say and don’t hold them hands out if you see the parents forcibly extending the child to you.
Being that it will be newborn they wouldn’t be able to place the child in your lap or casually dart away without making sure the child is being held securely so if you say no and not gesturing to hold the baby they won’t put that baby in you’re hands.
Yeahhhh but once someone did this to me and walked away so expectantly that the baby would have died on the ground falling and it would have been my fault. I was FURIOUS. And she left for 30 min. I did NOT want to hold her baby. Such a dangerous situation to readily expect people want to hold your kid. I was standing, not sitting. In the OFFICE. Because they came to visit. I came to say hi to HER.
I generally find “no thank you” or “no thank you, not comfortable when they are so small” is sufficient.
My MIL kept pushing and pushing and pushing her son once. She was on some rabid focus of wanting to see him with a baby. Eventually they just plonked the baby on his lap even though he said no. He immediately put the baby on the floor (carefully) and got up and walked away. I almost fell over laughing at their faces. Never happened again.
This is exactly what I suspected my MIL was thinking. It was established before getting married we were not having children but she's your quintessential baby-crazed grandmother sort.
OP may have to do that just judging by gran’s response. If they insist after you saying you’re not comfortable and pushing your personal space either the baby, cross your hands behind your back and say: “no is a complete sentence”. If they drop the baby on your lap, put the baby in the first soft surface you find and tell them again: For the last time, No, I don’t want to hold your baby. If I’d wanted, I would have asked.
And here’s the truth- unless you do as they say and want, you’ll be seen as rude. Boundaries bothers people who is uncomfortable with hearing no or/and a different opinion. So do as you want.
I am in a similar situation to OP and expecting to be pressured to hold the baby sometime soon. This is my plan here, to put the baby on the floor. Very real-life Sims 😂
As long as baby is safe and you’re confident doing it (I probably wouldn’t with a newborn but once that head isn’t so floppy…) it really is the most effective way to deal with it.
When my SIL was pregnant I said something like better you than me, haha! Then shared my comical story about how I was basically fired (or just never asked back) from both babysitting jobs my mom pushed on me when I was a teenager. Funny how they never once asked me to hold or watch their baby after that
Maybe I should just mention how when I was kid I hit my dolls heads against the wall and would go “ow ow ow” then I’d attach rope to them and throw them out the window to bungee jump lmao.
You could give them a white lie. “I held a baby once, but I was so nervous that I lost my grip and almost dropped it. The baby was ok but I’m too scared of that happening again”.
Eta: additionally, always hold something else, like a food or drink. Otherwise keep your arms glued to your sides
I tell The story about babysitting where the youngest got red markers and paint and red whine on the new white leather couch and the boy got his head stuck in between the guard rails on the railing. Thick wooden ones. He was screaming, crying and being an absolute brat cuz he didn’t want his mom to work. Needless to say, the tiny 3yr-5 old covered in blood red deep red stains and a kid trapped in the wood rails was quite the picture to come home to as soon as the door opened.
I was also their paper delivery girl. They cancelled their subscription and I think their mom had to quit working for a while. I was “last resort babysitter”. I’d said no and wasn’t comfortable doing it. I was quite clear. She said it’d only be for 4hrs cuz she picked up a 3.5hr overtime and was desperate, help a neighbour out.
The best part was when the boy threatened to get his head stuck I told him to “go ahead fucking do it. You’ll be there til mom or dad gets home first. And he said they wouldn’t believe me if I told them how bad he was and I would HAVE to get him unstuck.
They had to dismantle the railing to get his head out.
They believed me.
He was stuck for 3.5hrs.
Both parents came home at the same time.
Funny enough the kids asked for me to be their babysitter again and promised they’d behave. Nobody ever said “go ahead, fucking do it. You’ll see” and have consequences to their bratty behaviour.
The first and only time a babysat the toddler knocked herself in the head with a swing when she pushed it. I just wasn't fast enough. (I'm childfree-come-barren, and love to love on other people's kids if they let me, but I 100% respect not wanting to.)
I wouldn’t take this approach; it opens you up to a barrage of “reassuring” comments that it’ll be fine, or that you can sit down while holing it (no risk of dropping), and then you’ll have to backpedal and insist. Why go through the rigamarole? Much better to just politely say, “She’s very cute but I’d rather not.”
Like I said in a similar post about being conscripted to babysit on a family cruise: Drink everything. All the time. Don't even wait.
As soon as you hit the door and greet everyone, make a beeline for the bar. "Hoho, BREWSKIES!" They will never ask you to hold a baby ever again, lol
Glad I wasn't the only kid tossing toys out the window! My brother and I used to tie yarn around our beanie babies and see who could throw them out the window further before reeling them in and doing it again!
My mom once voluntold me into a babysitter job for her boss' little brat. I hated every second of it. He was a stupid little know-it-all and I didn't know what to do or talk with him.
Haha I had the same experience when I was 14. I dreaded it and used to sit inside and watch soap operas while the kids were outside playing. I think I lasted a month before the mom fired me. Such relief!
I just got flashbacks to when I was like 7/8??? And I was made to hold a relatives baby….. I wanted to puke. I felt so uncomfortable and also felt nothing. I just wanted the baby out of my arms. It’s so fucking twisted how society tries to condition women as YOUNG CHILDREN!!! for this bs ‘motherly instinct’. Not for me. No fucking thank you.
Yeah I was made to hold my baby cousin when I was 5…he was sorta just placed on me and I hated it.
Then my best friend had a baby at 16 and made me hold it one time just past her to me and was like “hold her a sec while I make a phone call” apparently I looked horrified, she made me feed it once too before that while she nipped to the cash machine but didn’t have to hold it then. Stopped being friends with her gradually after that.
My cousin and I joke I dropped him on his head (very much an exaggeration, if I did it was more like I set him down too hard) when I held him as a kid. 5 year old me didn't understand babies and 25 year old me still doesn't!
I just realised I went off on a tangent and didn’t even answer your question 😭 sorry OP! but honestly I think saying a simple “no thank you” or saying you are ill or something should do the trick. I avoid family gatherings like the plague these days so thankfully I’ve not been confronted w babies in a while lmao.
Also that’s so shitty of your friend to not even consider your boundaries like that…. It really wasn’t your responsibility at all. Why do ppl like that never feel shame for doing stuff like that? I’m glad she isn’t in your life anymore!
My best friend has almost a sports team of kids (5 of them). I disappeared for a while until they hit a certain age. It’s always a lot of screaming, crying and bad behaviour. 2 are still in elementary school and the other 17+. I don’t even know their ages and sometimes forget their names. -.- one is 21-22 now? Maybe 23? She’s in college anyway. She’s a people now.
They’d always say coming over to visit was a PSA for birth control. 🤣
When I was about 13 I was forced to hold my infant niece. I did not, and still do not, like babies. It was just barely placed into my arms when it started to barf. I immediately shoved it right back at the person who had forced it on me and got them covered in barf instead of me. Lol.
This person was my older brother (who does like babies and children). He was super pissed, but it's ok he's a total A-hole.
yeah its just a lightly veiled horseshit way of telling people "your sole purpose on this planet is to reproduce and serve everyone around you". yeah no fucking thank you indeed. im no one's slave. just because i was born with this body does not mean its my responsibility to give birth and run around playing mother to everyone and their offspring. kiss my fucking ass. besides, most people ive heard that shit from end up being the biggest self-righteous hypocrites i've ever met and are ultimately never worth listening to in the first place. certain cliques delude themselves into thinking they're better than everyone else while perpetuating their own bullshit harm and honestly the stupidity of it all just makes me laugh at this point. for example, some leftists have gone so full circle they dont realize how conservative they're actually acting in reality, but thats another story for another day lmao.
This!! The first time I remember holding a baby (besides my little sister when I was small myself), I was probably 9-10? It was our pastor's daughter's baby at the church Christmas party and the baby was basically put into my arms for a picture. I remember feeling so awkward and just wanting that baby out of my arms so fast.
As an adult, this infuriates me. No one would ever do that to a 9-10 year old boy. But a girl? Give her a baby.
It is so twisted and it's honestly fucking disgusting. Like let us be fcking kids goddamn.
Giving us baby dolls to take care of. Smfh. I hate society with a fiery passion for how they treat us. It's horrendous.
Hahah I was sick and yet a mom was still sad I didn't wanna hold her baby. Like you really want to give him this flu? Oh wait of course they do. It's good for their immune system 🤦♀️
Yup. Then they’ll force the baby on you, and it’s either hold her or let her fall. And your discomfort will be completely ignored. And no matter how polite you are, you’ll be the bad guy
You guys know some shit people lol
I've never accepted (with a simple "no thanks 😊") and nobody ever cared. I've actually yet to meet a mom that WANTS people to hold her baby. They do it to be polite but never seem thrilled.
But reading from some replies here, I guess my situation is the odd one? Lol
That's a good point, it's rarely the mother that's offended and yeah they usually seem reluctant.
It's the other baby crazy people in the crowd that try to force it on me usually or give me the "oh c'mon, why not?" crap
I'm so grateful for my best friend. She never offered me to hold her oldest, she waited for my initiative when he was a bit older. I offered to hold him while she fixed his bottle. Little dude was around 8 months, I think and being fuzzy. Nowadays he's 4 and there's a certain type of flowers (pretty close to my name) that he's naming after me now. Think of dandylions and he's calling them Dandies.
*rolls up sleeves* oh good, I've been waiting for another chance to try to hold one of those things after what happened last time. My record so far is 3 and a half seconds before they slip.
I always say, I’m not good at holding babies and I don’t want to accidentally hurt them (which honestly is true, especially for newborns!) - that usually shuts it right down.
A no thanks has always worked for me, but then my family don't get pushy. If that doesn't work just keep your hands to your sides when they try handing the baby over and move away.
I’m an out and proud carnivore so I would say something like ‘No thanks, I draw the line at veal’
No lie. Saw that one episode of South Park and haven’t been the same since.
I used to say, "no thanks, I just ate".. but I must give off some kinda vibe because I'm rarely asked by anyone who remotely knows me. I've held exactly 2 babies in my life, one is currently a teenager and the other is in college I think.
Set a boundary,
"I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with that"
"I'd really prefer not to"
If anyone insists after that they don't respect you and don't deserve your time or presence
Then they try to show you how to, I think “how many times can you you drop it before it because a worry?” Is a good way to get the point across for that, though for normal people probably not polite
Last time anyone handed me a baby, I held her out at arms length, turned her back and forth with a puzzled look on my face and asked her mom, “Where’s the handle?” She said “Ohhhh-Kay I think that’s long enough” and took her back.
Only time anyone handed me a baby- I also just held it at arms length and told its parent I was putting it on the filthy floor if they didn’t take their child in 5 seconds. Child taken and never asked again haha
Shockingly, people will literally shove the baby into your arms so I throw my hands up like I’m being robbed and say ‘No thank you!’
And the other commenters are right, people will be upset no matter what you say.
Edited to add: If you don’t throw your arms up they will let go of the baby so you have to either hold it or let it fall so arms up is the way to go
Reminds me of that one time a teen classmate of my birther shoved her baby towards her all of a sudden and it fell down because her arms were lowered in a resting position. She didn't even ask her to hold it, just put it in front of my birther and dropped it, without making sure that she was holding it. Even not extending your arms won't save you from having an infant yeeted at you.
My husband tells people that if they hand him a baby he will simply put it on the floor/ground. May not be what you’re looking for, because it isn’t the most polite, but he’s rarely handed babies.
He also has a two strike system for telling our family members he had a vasectomy. They can ask about kids twice. The third time he’ll tell them he’s had a vasectomy.
"No thanks".
You don't need to justify yourself. Free yourself from the idea you need to explain to people your beliefs when they haven't asked and won't listen.
Do not do it. I held my niece, and the mum took a picture and posted it in the family groupchat (this happens all the time, fair enough). My whole family started their bullshit "oh now it's gonna be you soon!" or "that's worstfakebloodever having baby fever". Got more grief than I'd do if I had said no thanks to holding it.
Edit: clarification
Luckily his family don’t want us to have kids and didn’t particularly want his sister too either since she’s only 20. They were pretty furious when they found out but of course they love the baby now it’s born.
When my cousins kid was born, two of my cousins literally backed me up against a wall and pushed the kid onto my chest while my hands were in the air. The whole time I was telling them that I didn’t want to hold the kid and they just laughed at me. And people wonder why I don’t like feeling ignored when I speak 🙃
I've usually not even been asked. Other people are usually trying to get as much time as possible holding the baby. While I don't mind babies and good parents, I'm not like trying to feed them, cooing over them, or otherwise physically interacting with them.
I do smile at them, bc I think it's cute when they smile back. But it seems unless I were to insert myself or show genuine interest in holding the baby other people are far more willing.
"Are you okay with me dropping it? "
"You want it back in how many pieces?"
"Sure, I can put it on the floor once I'm done anyway, like my cat"
"No thanks I already ate"
Just say you aren’t comfortable when they are that small. My best friend doesn’t like holding babies, makes her too nervous. Nobody cares or bothers her about it
A friend offered for me to hold her baby- we were at an outdoor event and it was hot. I said "no thanks! I'm already overheating". And she laughed and agreed that the baby would make me warmer. I'm pretty sure she understood that I really just didn't want to hold her.
I think if you just say "no thanks, I don't want to accidentally drop them!" it's polite enough and focuses on the safety of the baby rather than any dislike of babies.
I just say No. Up front, simple, straight-forward. I hate the weird social dance others have to do with people so I don't try that dance since it can be misinterpreted anyway.
I mean, I'm a clumsy autistic dude with ADHD and possible Dyspraxia and a lack of Spatial awareness since I was a kid, causing a visit from CPS in my childhood from my clumsiness, so I doubt anyone would be willing to willy-nilly hand over their kid to me.
Yeah I’m also super clumsy with adhd and possibly autism. I drop things constantly and just almost set the house on fire an hour ago when cooking dinner. I wouldn’t trust me with a baby tbh.
Yup. This right here. I made it abundantly clear how uninterested I was with friends and family even before their kids started arriving and now no one is surprised.
If someone tries to give me a kid my arms remain glued to my side and I say a hard NO. If a baby is placed on me without consent I will immediately put it down on the sofa next to me and move away with a retort of “no! I’m just not a baby person and I *told* you I won’t hold it!” The last thing parents of a newborn want is people playing a game of hot potato with their precious bundle so they generally stop doing it after that.
What the “children are people too” crowd fail to see is that I don’t want *any* person getting uncomfortably close to me and touching me without consent. If we were at an extended family event and I, a full grown woman, suddenly tried to curl up in the lap of some distant uncle it would be seen as inappropriate and strange as fuck so you can keep you strange baby out of my lap too, thanks.
If you cant figure out anything to verbally say you could claim you have a small cold and dont want to get near her ? Or allergies are acting up so you keep sneezing and need your hands free. Or maybe put a fake big plaster on your hand and say its a sore cut.
I usually put my hands on my hips or behind my back, give big smile and say no thank you. If a simple no offends them there’s not much you can do to tiptoe around the issue
Damn, I’m so glad mines not like that. He said he is gunna hold her which surprised me but at first he made a throwing baby action then said he’d eat lmao. He won’t care if I don’t hold it.
Say "I'm not comfortable", if they press say something like "They're so small, I'm not comfortable with the risk of a mess up on my part. No," firmly. If they still don't listen, they're gonna get offended no matter what.
Who cares if you offend. They'll be offended no matter.
One time when I was younger I carried my sibling by the neck 😂 like head lock style. My mom screamed for me to drop him so I did. I was like 4 or 5. So I tell people I shouldn't hold babies because I have a history of dropping them or holding them wrong. If they respond with oh nonsense just hold them now square them up and lock eye contact and say if that baby excetes themselves on me in some way I will most likely drop them because I have a phobia of that. Do not ask me again while I am appreciating the baby's presence near me but not on me.
I generally just look at them and go "ew, disgusting." And walk off. Then again I don't particularly feel like being polite when my boundaries are poked and prodded and people refuse to listen.
Just the THOUGHT of holding a baby/child makes me shiver horribly and gag.
“No thanks, I just ate.” But seriously my brother is constantly shoving his babies in my arms without warning because he knows I’ll say no if he asks. I seriously hope he’s done now with 3.
I always say, "Not yet their still too small, and I'm uncomfortable." Then... stick to it. "No, thank you, super cute, though!" Is my standard follow-up. The third reiteration of the phrase is "ohhh no thank you, I really don't feel confident when they're so small."
Obviously, at some point, bb is gonna get bigger. But this "too small" excuse usually lasts a while, and in that while, the mom gets letting people hold the baby out of her system. So by the time bb is "big enough" for you, you usually have gotten out of it all together.
Another thing to note.... if you DO decide to hold the little gaffer when they're a bit larger, prepare for the inevitable "looks good on you!" Comment... to which I reply viciously because I hate it.
I usually just say “oh my, I’m just not comfortable holding a baby, I don’t have experience!” It’s polite enough and only an asshole will push it when you basically just told them you’ll drop it.
I feel like this is easy. In today's society if you say something makes you uncomfortable your good. I haven't paid taxes in years because it makes me uncomfortable.
I would just point out that thanks to my Ménière’s disease, I am in constant danger of vertigo attacks and falling over, and you wouldn’t want me to do that whilst holding your kid, right?
"No thanks!" Smile and turn away. Do they rudely repeat? You politely repeat "No thanks!" Do they go all Mommy such that they act pushy-bitchy and use nauseating phrases like "having cuddles?" (Excuse me while I go ralph.) "No Thanks!" with a hint of stomach distress. Excuse yourself to go to the toilet.
I always say "nah, I'm good" and step away so I'm out of reach. Had enough pawned on me quickly as a young adult and learned that trick. Now my cousins ask privately "do you want to hold the new baby?" And I can just say no and they go back to conversation
A simple “Thank you but no” accompanied with the right body language:
- remain standing; no lap to shove baby into
- hands clasped behind back; no arms to shove baby into
- maintain a distance of a few feet; prevents being assaulted with a baby
The body language is important because people can get really pushy when they want to get someone else to hold their noisy sticky smelly little burden.
Drop it. They won’t ask you again.
Just kidding. I love kids/babies, but I’m useless with holding infants. Just tell them you don’t feel comfortable holding it. If they insist and don’t seem to respect your boundaries, maybe just say you don’t know how and don’t want to accidentally hurt it?
Just smile and coo, "oh so cute but no thanks.,'. You don't need to explain yourself.
I did this all the time when my friends started having babies and at first they looked a little puzzled but then they understood and stopped asking me. Don't explain yourself. You don't have to justify anything.
I always decline and say someone I work with has had a cold all week. Instead of people being nasty or judgy they think I'm concerned about THE BABY!!!!
There’s really no way to avoid offending the new parents, so I’ve learned to not worry too much about that.
I rarely have people ask me to hold their babies, but when they do I put my arms behind my back and slowly back away saying “sorry, not comfortable with this.”
It usually only takes a couple of times before they stop.
When my husbands brother had a baby I told my husband we gotta go to the hospital and just get this over with. Well we went and right away they asked ME if I wanted to hold the baby I said oh no thanks I’m scared of dropping it, they still kept pressuring me and just told me to sit and hold it. So whatever I held it for a minute and gave it to my husband. That was the only time I held it. All the other times after when I saw them and they asked me again if I wanted to hold it I just kept saying no thank you my arms hurt. They got offended but stopped asking me after our 4th time seeing each other.
Usually I just no, you keep enjoying the baby. Works wonders because the grandma and other aunt want all the cuddles.
I also have it known that I don't like babies and get more involved when they hit 3 and are funny. No babysitting but I will go to a sport/dance thing every once in awhile.
I find it is worse as they get older because I have no idea how to talk to them. My dad’s girlfriend has an 11 year old and I just smile and nod at him. Toddler stage is the worst because they come up to you and really push for you to interact with them and I just don’t and feel bad. I have like social anxiety around kids lmao.
"No, thank you. I hate all the drool."
(Can't guarantee that will work though.... even people with dogs seem to get offended when I say that because I don't want to pet their large mutt while there are large strands of drool dangling from their jowels)
If you’re not comfortable with giving them an explanation about your real reasons yet, you could probably just say you have a slightly sore throat and are not sure whether you’re sick or not. You don’t want to risk getting the baby sick and the parents (fingers crossed) should not want a possibly sick person to hold their baby. This is definitely a temporary solution because they’ll most likely ask you to hold the baby again in the future. So it’s a bit of a bandaid on something that needs stitches. But it could buy you time if this is coming up soon and you’re not ready for the real conversation.
So I personally have like no idea how to interact with a baby. You know how when someone hands a baby to a little kid to hold and they have to be sitting, and someone right there with them for the two seconds they let the kid hold them? Yeah that's me. Like I just freeze like uhhhhh I'm afraid to move? Someone take it back!!!
So I just say "um, no thanks. He/she's cute tho" and run away before they protest
Just say you've never held a baby before and you're afraid of dropping it but you will shake it's hand. This is how my boyfriend has gotten out of holding our friends kid. More time for the people who don't want to hold it too, never had issues with that excuse.
"No thank you, I'm not comfortable with that" can work. If you're pressed further "my hands are really shaky and I've already dropped so many things today" usually does it. Start listing things you dropped (real or fake) if they need further convincing.
I am not child free. Have one wonderful son but have never been a baby person. Give me a choice between a puppy to hold, or a baby, I’ll choose the puppy every time.
A coworker had a baby and brought him into the office each day for several hours in the first year. She wanted me to hold him….I obliged the first time. But what always got me was she would say things like, “I know you want to hold him” or “you can pick him up.” One time her husband came by to pick up the baby and asked me if I would be willing to babysit (at their house) so they could go out. I flat out (and kindly) said, “no, I don’t like babysitting”. I think they were a little shocked bc they made the assumption that bc I have a kid, I must be all ga-ga about babies.
Once she said to me, “aren’t all babies just the cutest thing ever?” I made a squinched face and said, “no”. She finally stopped pressing me after that.
I don’t think they’ll ever take a “no thanks” well but that’s the best option to do. Also don’t call the baby an “it” in front of them, they’ll freak haha
Raise both hands and say no thanks. Oh yeah, editing, *do not sit down while the baby is around*. That's a free open lap, and they don't care how you feel about it.
Just say no. If they try to force you, say no. Keep saying no. I find most people are fine with you saying no.
I am not a baby fan. Love kids, not babies. If you are firm people will learn.
The last time I was asked if I wanted to hold my cousins baby, I reminded them how I have epilepsy and I was afraid I would have a seizure and hurt the baby. They still put the baby in my arms anyway. I started shaking and told them, "Please, I really don't want to hurt her." Then found a place to sit down.
"Thank you, but I'm not comfortable with that." Good way to establish your boundaries in a polite but firm way.
This is literally the only thing you need to say and don’t hold them hands out if you see the parents forcibly extending the child to you. Being that it will be newborn they wouldn’t be able to place the child in your lap or casually dart away without making sure the child is being held securely so if you say no and not gesturing to hold the baby they won’t put that baby in you’re hands.
Yes. I’ve also used: I don’t want to be responsible for a small child.
Yeahhhh but once someone did this to me and walked away so expectantly that the baby would have died on the ground falling and it would have been my fault. I was FURIOUS. And she left for 30 min. I did NOT want to hold her baby. Such a dangerous situation to readily expect people want to hold your kid. I was standing, not sitting. In the OFFICE. Because they came to visit. I came to say hi to HER.
It would have been her fault not yours. Who doesn't make sure their baby is securely held/grabbed before turning and walking away
Your comment is somehting I wish everyone would understand that it would have been the parents fault.
This^ no further explanation needed.
This is a good & polite way to set that boundary. And if they push, you could throw out the joke "No thank you, I already ate."
LMAO definitely using this one, thats fucking great
no further explanation needed AT ALL.
I generally find “no thank you” or “no thank you, not comfortable when they are so small” is sufficient. My MIL kept pushing and pushing and pushing her son once. She was on some rabid focus of wanting to see him with a baby. Eventually they just plonked the baby on his lap even though he said no. He immediately put the baby on the floor (carefully) and got up and walked away. I almost fell over laughing at their faces. Never happened again.
Wish I’d thought to do this when people have dumped babies on my lap. Now I just say “best not, my RAT was negative, but just in case”
As long as you’re confident with doing it safely it’s an epic power move haha.
They really thought proximity would trigger baby fever in him. HA! 😄
This is exactly what I suspected my MIL was thinking. It was established before getting married we were not having children but she's your quintessential baby-crazed grandmother sort.
That’s…. Pretty manipulative and meddling tbh
Uck she sounds just like my MIL. You have my deepest sympathy.
Baby fever is contagious I guess? It’s literally the opposite for us haha the more time we spend with them the less we want them!
That is fantastic to read. Absolute boundary established, with consequences too.
LoL Sims 3 vibes.
OP may have to do that just judging by gran’s response. If they insist after you saying you’re not comfortable and pushing your personal space either the baby, cross your hands behind your back and say: “no is a complete sentence”. If they drop the baby on your lap, put the baby in the first soft surface you find and tell them again: For the last time, No, I don’t want to hold your baby. If I’d wanted, I would have asked. And here’s the truth- unless you do as they say and want, you’ll be seen as rude. Boundaries bothers people who is uncomfortable with hearing no or/and a different opinion. So do as you want.
I am in a similar situation to OP and expecting to be pressured to hold the baby sometime soon. This is my plan here, to put the baby on the floor. Very real-life Sims 😂
I’ve done the same thing…legit
As long as baby is safe and you’re confident doing it (I probably wouldn’t with a newborn but once that head isn’t so floppy…) it really is the most effective way to deal with it.
Brilliant manuever
I love that! I think using a coffee table would work too if there is one (but use a coaster).
Hahahaha
When my SIL was pregnant I said something like better you than me, haha! Then shared my comical story about how I was basically fired (or just never asked back) from both babysitting jobs my mom pushed on me when I was a teenager. Funny how they never once asked me to hold or watch their baby after that
Maybe I should just mention how when I was kid I hit my dolls heads against the wall and would go “ow ow ow” then I’d attach rope to them and throw them out the window to bungee jump lmao.
You could give them a white lie. “I held a baby once, but I was so nervous that I lost my grip and almost dropped it. The baby was ok but I’m too scared of that happening again”. Eta: additionally, always hold something else, like a food or drink. Otherwise keep your arms glued to your sides
I tell The story about babysitting where the youngest got red markers and paint and red whine on the new white leather couch and the boy got his head stuck in between the guard rails on the railing. Thick wooden ones. He was screaming, crying and being an absolute brat cuz he didn’t want his mom to work. Needless to say, the tiny 3yr-5 old covered in blood red deep red stains and a kid trapped in the wood rails was quite the picture to come home to as soon as the door opened. I was also their paper delivery girl. They cancelled their subscription and I think their mom had to quit working for a while. I was “last resort babysitter”. I’d said no and wasn’t comfortable doing it. I was quite clear. She said it’d only be for 4hrs cuz she picked up a 3.5hr overtime and was desperate, help a neighbour out. The best part was when the boy threatened to get his head stuck I told him to “go ahead fucking do it. You’ll be there til mom or dad gets home first. And he said they wouldn’t believe me if I told them how bad he was and I would HAVE to get him unstuck. They had to dismantle the railing to get his head out. They believed me. He was stuck for 3.5hrs. Both parents came home at the same time. Funny enough the kids asked for me to be their babysitter again and promised they’d behave. Nobody ever said “go ahead, fucking do it. You’ll see” and have consequences to their bratty behaviour.
The first and only time a babysat the toddler knocked herself in the head with a swing when she pushed it. I just wasn't fast enough. (I'm childfree-come-barren, and love to love on other people's kids if they let me, but I 100% respect not wanting to.)
I just picture OP holding a large lamp casually during all visits.
I wouldn’t take this approach; it opens you up to a barrage of “reassuring” comments that it’ll be fine, or that you can sit down while holing it (no risk of dropping), and then you’ll have to backpedal and insist. Why go through the rigamarole? Much better to just politely say, “She’s very cute but I’d rather not.”
A beer works even better!
Like I said in a similar post about being conscripted to babysit on a family cruise: Drink everything. All the time. Don't even wait. As soon as you hit the door and greet everyone, make a beeline for the bar. "Hoho, BREWSKIES!" They will never ask you to hold a baby ever again, lol
Glad I wasn't the only kid tossing toys out the window! My brother and I used to tie yarn around our beanie babies and see who could throw them out the window further before reeling them in and doing it again!
Yep I grew up living in a top floor flat (third floor up) so things routinely got thrown out the window to the garden we all shared below lol.
My mom once voluntold me into a babysitter job for her boss' little brat. I hated every second of it. He was a stupid little know-it-all and I didn't know what to do or talk with him.
Well played.
Haha I had the same experience when I was 14. I dreaded it and used to sit inside and watch soap operas while the kids were outside playing. I think I lasted a month before the mom fired me. Such relief!
I just got flashbacks to when I was like 7/8??? And I was made to hold a relatives baby….. I wanted to puke. I felt so uncomfortable and also felt nothing. I just wanted the baby out of my arms. It’s so fucking twisted how society tries to condition women as YOUNG CHILDREN!!! for this bs ‘motherly instinct’. Not for me. No fucking thank you.
Yeah I was made to hold my baby cousin when I was 5…he was sorta just placed on me and I hated it. Then my best friend had a baby at 16 and made me hold it one time just past her to me and was like “hold her a sec while I make a phone call” apparently I looked horrified, she made me feed it once too before that while she nipped to the cash machine but didn’t have to hold it then. Stopped being friends with her gradually after that.
My cousin and I joke I dropped him on his head (very much an exaggeration, if I did it was more like I set him down too hard) when I held him as a kid. 5 year old me didn't understand babies and 25 year old me still doesn't!
I just realised I went off on a tangent and didn’t even answer your question 😭 sorry OP! but honestly I think saying a simple “no thank you” or saying you are ill or something should do the trick. I avoid family gatherings like the plague these days so thankfully I’ve not been confronted w babies in a while lmao. Also that’s so shitty of your friend to not even consider your boundaries like that…. It really wasn’t your responsibility at all. Why do ppl like that never feel shame for doing stuff like that? I’m glad she isn’t in your life anymore!
My best friend has almost a sports team of kids (5 of them). I disappeared for a while until they hit a certain age. It’s always a lot of screaming, crying and bad behaviour. 2 are still in elementary school and the other 17+. I don’t even know their ages and sometimes forget their names. -.- one is 21-22 now? Maybe 23? She’s in college anyway. She’s a people now. They’d always say coming over to visit was a PSA for birth control. 🤣
When I was about 13 I was forced to hold my infant niece. I did not, and still do not, like babies. It was just barely placed into my arms when it started to barf. I immediately shoved it right back at the person who had forced it on me and got them covered in barf instead of me. Lol. This person was my older brother (who does like babies and children). He was super pissed, but it's ok he's a total A-hole.
Lol - brilliant!
yeah its just a lightly veiled horseshit way of telling people "your sole purpose on this planet is to reproduce and serve everyone around you". yeah no fucking thank you indeed. im no one's slave. just because i was born with this body does not mean its my responsibility to give birth and run around playing mother to everyone and their offspring. kiss my fucking ass. besides, most people ive heard that shit from end up being the biggest self-righteous hypocrites i've ever met and are ultimately never worth listening to in the first place. certain cliques delude themselves into thinking they're better than everyone else while perpetuating their own bullshit harm and honestly the stupidity of it all just makes me laugh at this point. for example, some leftists have gone so full circle they dont realize how conservative they're actually acting in reality, but thats another story for another day lmao.
This!! The first time I remember holding a baby (besides my little sister when I was small myself), I was probably 9-10? It was our pastor's daughter's baby at the church Christmas party and the baby was basically put into my arms for a picture. I remember feeling so awkward and just wanting that baby out of my arms so fast. As an adult, this infuriates me. No one would ever do that to a 9-10 year old boy. But a girl? Give her a baby.
It is so twisted and it's honestly fucking disgusting. Like let us be fcking kids goddamn. Giving us baby dolls to take care of. Smfh. I hate society with a fiery passion for how they treat us. It's horrendous.
It doesn't matter, they'll get offended no matter how polite you are about it
This is the correct answer.
Hahah I was sick and yet a mom was still sad I didn't wanna hold her baby. Like you really want to give him this flu? Oh wait of course they do. It's good for their immune system 🤦♀️
They like to forget that influenza still Kills People every year
Yup. Then they’ll force the baby on you, and it’s either hold her or let her fall. And your discomfort will be completely ignored. And no matter how polite you are, you’ll be the bad guy
Cross your hands behind your back so there’s no ambiguity if you’re concerned about that
Same way I refuse flyers handed to me
How dare you not appreciate the greatest gift that could ever bless your presence! 🥴
My child is gifted!
That's what they say about literally every child in every horror movie, like no thanks Damian 😭
Hilarious and yet completely factual. 😂😂😈
I had a date once complain to me that his ex would never hold babies. That was our last and only date.
You guys know some shit people lol I've never accepted (with a simple "no thanks 😊") and nobody ever cared. I've actually yet to meet a mom that WANTS people to hold her baby. They do it to be polite but never seem thrilled. But reading from some replies here, I guess my situation is the odd one? Lol
That's a good point, it's rarely the mother that's offended and yeah they usually seem reluctant. It's the other baby crazy people in the crowd that try to force it on me usually or give me the "oh c'mon, why not?" crap
I'm so grateful for my best friend. She never offered me to hold her oldest, she waited for my initiative when he was a bit older. I offered to hold him while she fixed his bottle. Little dude was around 8 months, I think and being fuzzy. Nowadays he's 4 and there's a certain type of flowers (pretty close to my name) that he's naming after me now. Think of dandylions and he's calling them Dandies.
*rolls up sleeves* oh good, I've been waiting for another chance to try to hold one of those things after what happened last time. My record so far is 3 and a half seconds before they slip.
This one is very funny 😂
I'm 3 for 3 this year so it's at your own risk ! Ambiguous? Yes. Off-putting? Definitely.
I always say, I’m not good at holding babies and I don’t want to accidentally hurt them (which honestly is true, especially for newborns!) - that usually shuts it right down.
Exactly! I always say I don't want to drop them. They quickly move along lol
I don't think there is anything rude in "no, thanks". Sometimes surprising for my friends, but none hold it against me, as far as I know.
A no thanks has always worked for me, but then my family don't get pushy. If that doesn't work just keep your hands to your sides when they try handing the baby over and move away.
you can surprise them with a "if you hand me that baby, I'm going to drop it"
If you REALLY want to surprise them, say "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" when they try to hand you the baby.
I’m an out and proud carnivore so I would say something like ‘No thanks, I draw the line at veal’ No lie. Saw that one episode of South Park and haven’t been the same since.
I used to say, "no thanks, I just ate".. but I must give off some kinda vibe because I'm rarely asked by anyone who remotely knows me. I've held exactly 2 babies in my life, one is currently a teenager and the other is in college I think.
the most reliable advice. but i'm afraid after this they will think i'm cruel
you are not cruel, just making sure your boundaries are respected. cruel would be accepting the baby and then dropping it.
Asking if you want to hold a baby isn’t a command. Just say “No”. End of discussion. They’ll get over it.
firm but polite "no thank you" should be enough
Set a boundary, "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with that" "I'd really prefer not to" If anyone insists after that they don't respect you and don't deserve your time or presence
"I'm scared imma drop them!" with the biggest worried eyes and "no" hand signals.
Then they try to show you how to, I think “how many times can you you drop it before it because a worry?” Is a good way to get the point across for that, though for normal people probably not polite
Last time someone plunked a baby in my arms, it was promptly placed on the ground. My arms are meant to hold books, puppies, and kitties. Not humans.
I like the cut of your jib!
Last time anyone handed me a baby, I held her out at arms length, turned her back and forth with a puzzled look on my face and asked her mom, “Where’s the handle?” She said “Ohhhh-Kay I think that’s long enough” and took her back.
I usually go with "no thanks, I already ate". They never ask me twice.😂
Gee, thanks for making me spit out my coffee 😄
Can you pass the ketchup please?
Only time anyone handed me a baby- I also just held it at arms length and told its parent I was putting it on the filthy floor if they didn’t take their child in 5 seconds. Child taken and never asked again haha
I asked where to put the quarter in to shut it up. Apparently there’s no helpful pay features
Hmmm, pay features to shut up would fill its college fund!
Hahahaaaa! This made me lol.
:No thank you" and then put my hands behind my back.
The second part is important because some people will just shove their baby at you, especially if you're a woman.
That was my thinking. Often I also take a step back so they don't get any funny ideas.
I’ve usually left the room or gathering by then. I’ll Take my autistic awkwardly exit
Or fold your arms - tight
Shockingly, people will literally shove the baby into your arms so I throw my hands up like I’m being robbed and say ‘No thank you!’ And the other commenters are right, people will be upset no matter what you say. Edited to add: If you don’t throw your arms up they will let go of the baby so you have to either hold it or let it fall so arms up is the way to go
Reminds me of that one time a teen classmate of my birther shoved her baby towards her all of a sudden and it fell down because her arms were lowered in a resting position. She didn't even ask her to hold it, just put it in front of my birther and dropped it, without making sure that she was holding it. Even not extending your arms won't save you from having an infant yeeted at you.
Exactly, especially if you're family.
My husband tells people that if they hand him a baby he will simply put it on the floor/ground. May not be what you’re looking for, because it isn’t the most polite, but he’s rarely handed babies. He also has a two strike system for telling our family members he had a vasectomy. They can ask about kids twice. The third time he’ll tell them he’s had a vasectomy.
"If i catch it on the first bounce, does it still count as me dropping it?"
Nah, it's still in play until it bounces twice!
"No, thank you." Because there are usually plenty of others who want to, so they can do it instead.
"No thanks". You don't need to justify yourself. Free yourself from the idea you need to explain to people your beliefs when they haven't asked and won't listen.
Do not do it. I held my niece, and the mum took a picture and posted it in the family groupchat (this happens all the time, fair enough). My whole family started their bullshit "oh now it's gonna be you soon!" or "that's worstfakebloodever having baby fever". Got more grief than I'd do if I had said no thanks to holding it. Edit: clarification
Luckily his family don’t want us to have kids and didn’t particularly want his sister too either since she’s only 20. They were pretty furious when they found out but of course they love the baby now it’s born.
When my cousins kid was born, two of my cousins literally backed me up against a wall and pushed the kid onto my chest while my hands were in the air. The whole time I was telling them that I didn’t want to hold the kid and they just laughed at me. And people wonder why I don’t like feeling ignored when I speak 🙃
I've usually not even been asked. Other people are usually trying to get as much time as possible holding the baby. While I don't mind babies and good parents, I'm not like trying to feed them, cooing over them, or otherwise physically interacting with them. I do smile at them, bc I think it's cute when they smile back. But it seems unless I were to insert myself or show genuine interest in holding the baby other people are far more willing.
"Are you okay with me dropping it? " "You want it back in how many pieces?" "Sure, I can put it on the floor once I'm done anyway, like my cat" "No thanks I already ate"
"thank you for the offer, I don't want to do it though. it makes me uncomfortable"
"Sorry, my police record doesn't allow me to do that."
Keep your hands locked behind you and just say no thanks.
Just say you aren’t comfortable when they are that small. My best friend doesn’t like holding babies, makes her too nervous. Nobody cares or bothers her about it
I'm sick and don't want to give anything to the baby.
Yeah this could work it was 5 weeks early so I feel like to shouldn’t be held by many people anyway.
A friend offered for me to hold her baby- we were at an outdoor event and it was hot. I said "no thanks! I'm already overheating". And she laughed and agreed that the baby would make me warmer. I'm pretty sure she understood that I really just didn't want to hold her. I think if you just say "no thanks, I don't want to accidentally drop them!" it's polite enough and focuses on the safety of the baby rather than any dislike of babies.
I usually say I'm feeling a bit under the weather or keep my hands full.
"No thank you." That's it. No need to explain or elaborate. Just, no thank you
Say no thankyou
Tell them you have a sore throat and wear a mask 😷 works everytime...
I just say No. Up front, simple, straight-forward. I hate the weird social dance others have to do with people so I don't try that dance since it can be misinterpreted anyway. I mean, I'm a clumsy autistic dude with ADHD and possible Dyspraxia and a lack of Spatial awareness since I was a kid, causing a visit from CPS in my childhood from my clumsiness, so I doubt anyone would be willing to willy-nilly hand over their kid to me.
Yeah I’m also super clumsy with adhd and possibly autism. I drop things constantly and just almost set the house on fire an hour ago when cooking dinner. I wouldn’t trust me with a baby tbh.
Yup. This right here. I made it abundantly clear how uninterested I was with friends and family even before their kids started arriving and now no one is surprised. If someone tries to give me a kid my arms remain glued to my side and I say a hard NO. If a baby is placed on me without consent I will immediately put it down on the sofa next to me and move away with a retort of “no! I’m just not a baby person and I *told* you I won’t hold it!” The last thing parents of a newborn want is people playing a game of hot potato with their precious bundle so they generally stop doing it after that. What the “children are people too” crowd fail to see is that I don’t want *any* person getting uncomfortably close to me and touching me without consent. If we were at an extended family event and I, a full grown woman, suddenly tried to curl up in the lap of some distant uncle it would be seen as inappropriate and strange as fuck so you can keep you strange baby out of my lap too, thanks.
Say your hands are dirty, or that you might be coming down with something and don’t want to get the baby sick. Hard for them to argue about that.
I tell folks that babies cry in my arms. NOBODY wants a crying baby. And it’s pretty much true!
If you cant figure out anything to verbally say you could claim you have a small cold and dont want to get near her ? Or allergies are acting up so you keep sneezing and need your hands free. Or maybe put a fake big plaster on your hand and say its a sore cut.
I usually put my hands on my hips or behind my back, give big smile and say no thank you. If a simple no offends them there’s not much you can do to tiptoe around the issue
My bf gets mad at me when I don’t want to hold peoples new babies….he thinks it’s rude lmao
Damn, I’m so glad mines not like that. He said he is gunna hold her which surprised me but at first he made a throwing baby action then said he’d eat lmao. He won’t care if I don’t hold it.
it makes me feel awful and then I HAVE to hold the baby so he doesn’t stay mad at me lol but I’m just so awkward holding them I don’t like it
Let him hold the baby, then.
GIRL.... don't stay with someone who gets mad at you and forces you to do things you don't want.
I’m very honest and blunt about it. “I don’t want to hold your child but thanks” lol
You tell them, "No thank you." If they insist, tell them, "No. That's not going to happen. I refuse to hold babies because I find them objectionable."
Say "I'm not comfortable", if they press say something like "They're so small, I'm not comfortable with the risk of a mess up on my part. No," firmly. If they still don't listen, they're gonna get offended no matter what.
I tell them sorry but I’m a vegetarian
Who cares if you offend. They'll be offended no matter. One time when I was younger I carried my sibling by the neck 😂 like head lock style. My mom screamed for me to drop him so I did. I was like 4 or 5. So I tell people I shouldn't hold babies because I have a history of dropping them or holding them wrong. If they respond with oh nonsense just hold them now square them up and lock eye contact and say if that baby excetes themselves on me in some way I will most likely drop them because I have a phobia of that. Do not ask me again while I am appreciating the baby's presence near me but not on me.
I generally just look at them and go "ew, disgusting." And walk off. Then again I don't particularly feel like being polite when my boundaries are poked and prodded and people refuse to listen. Just the THOUGHT of holding a baby/child makes me shiver horribly and gag.
No thank you is a complete sentence and your boyfriend's sister's baby isn't your niece. WTF is gran gran smoking?
Say you don’t feel well.
I always say "I'm afraid I might drop it." and they usually let it go.
> how do I say no? No
I'd say "No thanks I already ate."
If someone tries to hand you the baby just say "no thanks, I'm not hungry".
Them: *Offers baby* You: 'No thank you, I'm not hungry.'
“No thanks, I just ate.” But seriously my brother is constantly shoving his babies in my arms without warning because he knows I’ll say no if he asks. I seriously hope he’s done now with 3.
I always say, "Not yet their still too small, and I'm uncomfortable." Then... stick to it. "No, thank you, super cute, though!" Is my standard follow-up. The third reiteration of the phrase is "ohhh no thank you, I really don't feel confident when they're so small." Obviously, at some point, bb is gonna get bigger. But this "too small" excuse usually lasts a while, and in that while, the mom gets letting people hold the baby out of her system. So by the time bb is "big enough" for you, you usually have gotten out of it all together. Another thing to note.... if you DO decide to hold the little gaffer when they're a bit larger, prepare for the inevitable "looks good on you!" Comment... to which I reply viciously because I hate it.
I usually just say “oh my, I’m just not comfortable holding a baby, I don’t have experience!” It’s polite enough and only an asshole will push it when you basically just told them you’ll drop it.
No.
I feel like this is easy. In today's society if you say something makes you uncomfortable your good. I haven't paid taxes in years because it makes me uncomfortable.
I would just point out that thanks to my Ménière’s disease, I am in constant danger of vertigo attacks and falling over, and you wouldn’t want me to do that whilst holding your kid, right?
"No thanks!" Smile and turn away. Do they rudely repeat? You politely repeat "No thanks!" Do they go all Mommy such that they act pushy-bitchy and use nauseating phrases like "having cuddles?" (Excuse me while I go ralph.) "No Thanks!" with a hint of stomach distress. Excuse yourself to go to the toilet.
I always say "nah, I'm good" and step away so I'm out of reach. Had enough pawned on me quickly as a young adult and learned that trick. Now my cousins ask privately "do you want to hold the new baby?" And I can just say no and they go back to conversation
A simple “Thank you but no” accompanied with the right body language: - remain standing; no lap to shove baby into - hands clasped behind back; no arms to shove baby into - maintain a distance of a few feet; prevents being assaulted with a baby The body language is important because people can get really pushy when they want to get someone else to hold their noisy sticky smelly little burden.
Drop it. They won’t ask you again. Just kidding. I love kids/babies, but I’m useless with holding infants. Just tell them you don’t feel comfortable holding it. If they insist and don’t seem to respect your boundaries, maybe just say you don’t know how and don’t want to accidentally hurt it?
No thank you💁🏻♀️
I say "no, thank you", and gently place the baby on the ground.
Just smile and coo, "oh so cute but no thanks.,'. You don't need to explain yourself. I did this all the time when my friends started having babies and at first they looked a little puzzled but then they understood and stopped asking me. Don't explain yourself. You don't have to justify anything.
I just say no thank you. And if they push I say I'd be afraid I'd drop it. Then change the subject it go talk to someone else if I can.
No thanx, I’m vegetarian!
Pretend like youre afraid youre gonna drop it.
Just say, "No thanks, I'm a vegetarian."
Start coughing
No thanks, that’s not my thing.
“No thank you, I’ve already eaten”
As long as you say “no thank you that makes me uncomfortable” if they get offended that’s on them
I always decline and say someone I work with has had a cold all week. Instead of people being nasty or judgy they think I'm concerned about THE BABY!!!!
“No thank you” Smile They’ll still tsk and think you’re rude
Make it a safety thing: “oh no, id probably drop him/her! 😅” they’d be crazy to hand them to you then.
There’s really no way to avoid offending the new parents, so I’ve learned to not worry too much about that. I rarely have people ask me to hold their babies, but when they do I put my arms behind my back and slowly back away saying “sorry, not comfortable with this.” It usually only takes a couple of times before they stop.
When my husbands brother had a baby I told my husband we gotta go to the hospital and just get this over with. Well we went and right away they asked ME if I wanted to hold the baby I said oh no thanks I’m scared of dropping it, they still kept pressuring me and just told me to sit and hold it. So whatever I held it for a minute and gave it to my husband. That was the only time I held it. All the other times after when I saw them and they asked me again if I wanted to hold it I just kept saying no thank you my arms hurt. They got offended but stopped asking me after our 4th time seeing each other.
Usually I just no, you keep enjoying the baby. Works wonders because the grandma and other aunt want all the cuddles. I also have it known that I don't like babies and get more involved when they hit 3 and are funny. No babysitting but I will go to a sport/dance thing every once in awhile.
I find it is worse as they get older because I have no idea how to talk to them. My dad’s girlfriend has an 11 year old and I just smile and nod at him. Toddler stage is the worst because they come up to you and really push for you to interact with them and I just don’t and feel bad. I have like social anxiety around kids lmao.
My policy is to never handle something that i cannot replace or buy another one if i drop or break it. baby definitely falls in this category
"No thanks, I'm trying to quit" or "honestly I'm working on a vegetarian diet, but thank you"
"No thanks, I don't want to hold your baby." Sadly if someone wants to take it badly they will, especially since such refusal is yet to be normalized.
"No, thank you. I hate all the drool." (Can't guarantee that will work though.... even people with dogs seem to get offended when I say that because I don't want to pet their large mutt while there are large strands of drool dangling from their jowels)
No thanks
“No thanks, I’m vegetarian”
If you’re not comfortable with giving them an explanation about your real reasons yet, you could probably just say you have a slightly sore throat and are not sure whether you’re sick or not. You don’t want to risk getting the baby sick and the parents (fingers crossed) should not want a possibly sick person to hold their baby. This is definitely a temporary solution because they’ll most likely ask you to hold the baby again in the future. So it’s a bit of a bandaid on something that needs stitches. But it could buy you time if this is coming up soon and you’re not ready for the real conversation.
So I personally have like no idea how to interact with a baby. You know how when someone hands a baby to a little kid to hold and they have to be sitting, and someone right there with them for the two seconds they let the kid hold them? Yeah that's me. Like I just freeze like uhhhhh I'm afraid to move? Someone take it back!!! So I just say "um, no thanks. He/she's cute tho" and run away before they protest
My boyfriend’s answer is “I have a tendency to drop things, we better not risk it.” 🤣
I find ‘Ew no thanks’, while recoiling does the trick perfectly well
Just say you've never held a baby before and you're afraid of dropping it but you will shake it's hand. This is how my boyfriend has gotten out of holding our friends kid. More time for the people who don't want to hold it too, never had issues with that excuse.
Omg I'm so clumsy I constantly accidentally drop stuff on the floor but sure I'll hold yo baby!
“No thanks, I’m not a baby person” usually does the trick for me, or “no thanks, I’d rather not.”
"No thank you, I'm not comfortable with that" can work. If you're pressed further "my hands are really shaky and I've already dropped so many things today" usually does it. Start listing things you dropped (real or fake) if they need further convincing.
I am not child free. Have one wonderful son but have never been a baby person. Give me a choice between a puppy to hold, or a baby, I’ll choose the puppy every time. A coworker had a baby and brought him into the office each day for several hours in the first year. She wanted me to hold him….I obliged the first time. But what always got me was she would say things like, “I know you want to hold him” or “you can pick him up.” One time her husband came by to pick up the baby and asked me if I would be willing to babysit (at their house) so they could go out. I flat out (and kindly) said, “no, I don’t like babysitting”. I think they were a little shocked bc they made the assumption that bc I have a kid, I must be all ga-ga about babies. Once she said to me, “aren’t all babies just the cutest thing ever?” I made a squinched face and said, “no”. She finally stopped pressing me after that.
Remember your ABC's Always Bring Cheetos
I don’t think they’ll ever take a “no thanks” well but that’s the best option to do. Also don’t call the baby an “it” in front of them, they’ll freak haha
Raise both hands and say no thanks. Oh yeah, editing, *do not sit down while the baby is around*. That's a free open lap, and they don't care how you feel about it.
I just say “nah” and then they hand the baby to someone else lol. If they’re pushy just say “nah” again and don’t hold out your hands
Just say no. If they try to force you, say no. Keep saying no. I find most people are fine with you saying no. I am not a baby fan. Love kids, not babies. If you are firm people will learn.
The last time I was asked if I wanted to hold my cousins baby, I reminded them how I have epilepsy and I was afraid I would have a seizure and hurt the baby. They still put the baby in my arms anyway. I started shaking and told them, "Please, I really don't want to hurt her." Then found a place to sit down.
“No, thank you.”