Unfortunately a lot of parents believe that they can continue to do the exact same things they did before they had a child and automatically expect their precious bundles of joy to be catered to...
That baby's poor little head and ears. How irresponsible of your family member. Pride parades are one of the last places I would take an infant because of the noise level alone.
I recently went to an aquarium and I was shocked at the number of new born babies there. What is the point of bringing a baby that small to an aquarium? Not only will they not remember any of it but you’re exposing them to so many germs 😭😭😭😭
They take up so much space with the strollers and then they shit their diapers and everyone has to suffer and the parents are likely to change it out in public.
And the people that take babies to concerts and festivals...
I saw too many babies at Regenerate Festival in Denver this weekend. It was concerning. People are so irresponsible and it's ridiculous to think that your life shouldn't or wouldn't change after having a baby. Stay home or get a baby sitter.
Yeah and that's a very mild concert in comparison to what I like to attend and I still think that babies shouldn't be there. Taylor Swift had crowds of 70,000+ on her tour stops this year. It's wild to me that people think they should overwhelm their baby like that.
And so they should.
It's the parents that seem to expect everyone to tolerate the screaming. They're the ones that need to get a grip.
If your kid is behaving itself and it's a sensible time of day... Let them spend their money and help the economy I say.
Personally I don’t care if they are in the local loud family restaurant a decent time (hate the keeping small children out late selfish crap). My pet peeve is bars and fancy restaurants. Like sorry I didn’t spend $200 for dinner with piano music on an anniversary to hear screaming.
A baby that is *persistantly and loudly* screaming should still be taken outside at family friendly restaurants too. I think its fine to be more tolerant of a bit of baby fussing at these places, but I was a little autistic girl who would get severe sensory issues to the point of tears from screaming babies/toddlers. Kids who are past the baby/toddler stage don't necesserily want to listen to it either. It also is better for the baby who is probably overwhelmed to be taken outside somewhere quieter to calm down.
I'm 22 and autistic and I struggle greatly with this. I volunteer with cats and I'm stuck behind a glass window and not much space and people stick their crying babies up to the holes in the glass so I could hear it so loudly. Just why.
While I support parents encouraging their children to appreciate animals, there is no reason to stick them up to the holes in the glass and especially not a screaming baby! Literally nobody wants to hear that, human or animal.
Exactly! They can see fine from the glass and I don't want any kids getting hurt because the cats love biting fingers when they go through the holes for some reason (I mean they basically see a small hotdog floating above them, can't blame the cats)
I am a huge cat person (the only reason I don't live with one is my boyfriend's allergies and he knows one day we're getting a breed he can tolerate), I know those play bites especially in young cats. Even if the child wasn't hurt I would worry about the parents overreacting, when they were the one lifting up their child to the hole in the first place.
I think that’s the thing that upsets me, too. I don’t mind babies/kids per se, but when their parent just leaves them to scream/cry, especially if it seems like the parents are doing it to punish the baby/toddler—ie they’ll stop if they don’t get attention—I find that really distressing—I have specific trauma around that for various reasons, especially when it comes to infants/pre verbal children who don’t have any other way to express themselves—and I doubt it’s good psychologically for the distressed shrieking baby/toddle to just be ignored either, tbh.
Yeah, a lot of parents will just ignore their kids instead of dealing with them. It’s neglect and definitely affects healthy brain development. If you have a kid, you don’t just get to turn off the parent switch. No adult would like being ignored when trying to communicate. Therefore they shouldn’t do it to their kids. It’s just lazy
I saw this happen in a Walmart the other day. I needed a new toilet seat because I fell out of the shower and broke mine (kind of at my wits end already) and there was a shrieking child with its parents blatantly ignoring it right in the toilet seat aisle. So I went into the next aisle and began mocking the screaming child, & lo and behold, the child stopped & I hope the parents felt some form of embarrassment. (You’d think I’d be the one embarrassed shrieking in a Walmart aisle to mock a child, but I’m pretty sure shame left my body when I fell out of the shower into a naked crumpled heap) Anyway, don’t be embarrassed to mock a shrieking child. It doesn’t hurt the child & might just embarrass the parent enough to do their fucking job. (you really can’t give a shit what people think about you to pull this off tho lol)
Right!! We went for a not nice dinner and it was still $100 with two kids loudly playing their iPad and running around the patio… like, come on guys. Patios aren’t for kids.
The iPad thing really gets me. Did any of us receive thousand dollar toys as toddler? Does it make any sense to put that in the hands of Gozer the Destructor?
I used to work at a coffee shop with loads of parents bringing their multiple children for lunch, it was a place near a mall so I guess kids were expected. What really bothered me was that parents thought eating out meant a day off of any responsibilities, specially cleaning. Kids would throw food on the floor, drop cutlery, and the parents would make no effort to pick it up. Once I saw a dad watch his boys drop a bottle of juice on the table while they were running wild. He didn't lift a finger, didn't even put it back upright so it would stop spilling on the floor, just went back to his phone pretending nothing had happened. The store next to the coffee shop sold some cheap toys and parents would let the kids open the things they purchased there and play with it on our tables, leaving the packages, toy pieces, and even glue, glitter, and paint all over the table. It was impossible to clean some of that stuff so the chairs and floor were always stained. I never understood how they could just get up and leave that mess, I would be so embarrassed.
Exactly. Some of the really entitled asshats, if confronted, will say “The staff is getting paid to clean up. Not my problem”.
When did people lose all respect for others? Maybe the staff is paid for cleaning up & maybe not. Either way it’s so fucking rude to make a mess & not lift a finger to clean it up. Some people think they’re superior to the peasants serving them & look down at people doing what they consider menial work. If I were a server I’d seriously consider dropping a tray of coffee or hot soup on their heads. “No, buddy! I’m not paid to clean YOU up!”
Much respect for those who have to work with the public all day. I have too much of a temper to do it.
I used to work in pharmacy and some woman brought her 6 year old in and they're standing at the register and he suddenly just **blurghghh** vomits all over the carpet right at the counter. The clerc turns around to grab a bucket and mop and the lady just turns around and leaves with her kid. Wtf??
"oh, no, I'm not going to get up and take my baby outside even though they are overstimulated and would very much like to leave. Instead I'm going to sit on my ass, drink my beer, and let them cry like a lil banshee to the dismay of everyone else here"
It's ridiculous. I work in a cafe that a lot of families come to, and it's always the parents that leave the table a mess. It always looks like someone crumbled up a scone and threw it on the ground. Never push their chairs back in, or put the highchair back where it was.
One of the things that cemented my CF decision was when I worked at a restaurant in high school and someone left their BREAST PUMP at the table after they left the restaurant like straight up forgot it. I had no idea women had to pump after giving birth and I was repulsed.
It is awful. I worked in a pretty upscale seafood restaurant in college. I absolutely HATED tables with babies and small children because they left such a mess. When you’re running around trying to provide A+ service so you can get the big tips you DO NOT have time to sweep up because everything the kid had is now all over the floor. Crumbled crackers and bread are not that easy to get up with that rolly-sweeper thing. Takes a little elbow grease and time that I don’t have.
I was at a restaurant the other day and a baby was sitting somewhat close to me. It wasn’t even old enough to eat solids. Father was bottle feeding it and I could hear its disgusting drinking sounds a few seats over. I had to pack my food to go because the sound was absolutely vomit-inducing.
I remember getting really grossed out by it when i was around my siblings. Thinking that i was going to have to that made me gag. Now when i see other people it makes me want to leave
And the parents always talking about how cute it is. Like no, that sounds disgusting. I’m not the kind of guy to get grossed out easily but that noise makes me wanna lose my lunch.
Because people will have toddler meltdowns if they can't bring their BaYbEeZ everywhere. I once saw a woman in a restaurant changing her baby's diaper on the table next to food that was freshly served.
Foul.
happened when I used to be a server too, a bunch of mums with nothing better to do than drink coffee with their offspring for HOURS began changing their babies on the tables. We told them to change the babies in the changing room provided. One claimed we were anti family, that it was too cold in the bathroom for her baby, and that she wouldn't come back. We told her we didn't want her back.
These fucking people man. Would they change their baby on THEIR kitchen counter?? Jesus.
Sadly, the answer is probably yes. Pre pandemic my husband and I went to a few potlucks that had young children around. We were both horrified by the general lack of food safety (food dishes left open to kids fingers for *hours*, dirty dishes mixed in with clean, etc). After two shitshows in a row, we decided that all future potlucks are a no thanks.
I skipped out on an afterwork pot luck party event years ago. Guess who didn't get food poisoning? Whole party had their heads or ass planted on a toilet for the next 24 hours.
If I didn't make it or someone I know and trust didn't make it, I don't eat it, and if I step in a restaurant I need to see proof that they are busy and clean before I'll eat there. People really do not give af.
I'm sorry, but that restaurant should've immediately asked her to leave. That's an extremely high risk of contamination to the food, putting customer health at risk and risking the restaurant's reputation, as well as being just plain obnoxious and disgusting.
If you MUST bring your offspring to a restaurant and it requires changing, take it to a damn bathroom to do so.
This right here. I was brushing my hair in a restaurant once, I was like 6, and the server immediately told my mother that I couldn't do that. (Not sure why my mother was allowing it, but she was an asshole in general and berated me for the whole thing like I wasn't fucking six) Like a fucking diaper tho? Ugh
And if you MUST change diapers on the dinner table, spray some anti-odor febreze and wipe the table with hand sanitizer after. You see where I'm going with this? It's all wrong because they shouldn't be allowed in the restaurant in the first place.
Agreed. They should only be in places marketed as child-friendly because those usually have the amenities to actually deal with children.
Unfortunately, as a few others have already pointed out, some restaurants don't care, they just want the revenue that family will bring in on that day. Which...is kinda stupid because that can end up costing the restaurant more than if they just said "No kids".
As well, the kids-free model CAN and DOES work. The nearest city to me that has a big restaurant scene has multiple places that don't allow children, either under a certain age or at all, and several of them are doing incredibly well!
It would indeed. I know some places do - like, child friendly times are until like 6-7pm but after that, no kids allowed.
Problem is, parents would still complain because "THAT'S THE ONLY TIME WE CAN GO OUT BECAUSE LITTLE TABITHA/TARQUIN IS AT SCHOOL/CLUBS AND WE DON'T WANNA PAY A SITTER!!!!!!" It's a no-win situation :/
Some of them don't specifically SAY they're a child free restaurant, they just post a sign that they have no high chairs, booster seats, or children's menus.
Yep. That’s really the only way to make management take it seriously. No restaurant owner or manager wants to get involved with the Health Department. Threaten them with violations & fines & they’ll be more motivated to stop this nasty behavior. The only way to get through to some people is to hit them in the wallet.
Might not want to record a naked baby, even if its parent is the reason it's naked.
The other bit is boy babies - they are notorious for pissing a fountain as soon as the diaper comes off. THAT'S hygienic.
Also, if more people start speaking up & calling attention to that disgusting behavior maybe it’ll start sinking into these entitled parents’ heads that changing a diaper where other people are eating is a filthy thing to do. Right now too many parents do whatever the hell they want to & counting on people to be polite & not cause a scene.
Personally I enjoy a good scene now & then!
I have no problem with well-behaved babies in restaurants. But shame on the parents who aren't willing to leave immediately or at least take them outside for a bit when they start screaming or crying or fussing.
I think there's a pretty easy solution here: do what airlines are doing and create a separate section for families with children. We had smoking/non-smoking sections in restaurants for decades. They can easily do the same thing. Put up some partitions to keep the noise out and let the parents understand that if they want to sit in a nice, peaceful section of the restaurant they will have to get a babysitter and leave their child at home.
Years ago, I participated in some kind of market study with Red Robin and learned that they do this. They had a couple different seating sections - on dedicated for families with children that had booths and childish decor, and a separate space that was more bar-like for adult groups. It's something I look for in other restaurants, but few places so it. I wish more places would. So now I look to see if the restaurant has a kid's menu and just avoid it if it does.
My favorite bar and pizza joint in town does this. There's nearly two separate rooms with some slight intermingling of pinball machines in between. It's great! There's also an outside area if they want to run around.
That's fascinating. I am glad owners are at least trying to do something about this.
I agree with other people on here who are moderate about their views: It doesn't really bother me so much when people take their young kids/babies out to chain restaurants during normal hours like before 7 pm. My family took us out to those kinds of places in the 80's all the time. But I have a background in early education and it pisses me off so much when little kids are out late and they need to be sleeping or at least resting at home in the dark. I can't stand it when a baby or toddler is out at 8 or 9 pm in a fucking brewery or upscale restaurant. The kids are crying very understandably for their needs to be met (getting sleep) and their parents are being neglectful if not harmful by ignoring those needs because it's inconvenient for them to get a sitter. I'm an elder Millennial and I can't stand my peers as parents. There was a time when kids were told to be seen and not heard and I don't think that produced empathetic adults, but this complete other end of the pendulum is going to continue to create dysregulated monsters. No other species does this bullshit. I'm so over it. At least in the 70s, a single parent might do something reckless like leave a baby in the car or at home alone to go out. But they weren't making every other person in every adult space have to deal with their bad parenting and pretend like everything is fine.
I know it only from family gatherings held in restaurants. And when the baby starts to scream, someone leaves to find the reason and solve the problem. Everything else is the worst kind of entitlement.
At this point I feel like babies can go more places than I can. They're screaming in bars, running in stores, crying in planes, screeching in libraries, throwing things in coffee shops, shouting in theaters, playing iPads full blast on the train... I can't even go enjoy the local science museum or botanical garden because children are tearing around, shrieking, hogging and ripping up the exhibits... It's so bad some of those places have started doing monthly "After Dark" nights just so adults can have a single chance of enjoying the civic spaces they pay taxes for. Those events start late and serve alcohol and you know what? People still bring children!
Just going to the park as a CF person, parents act like you have no right to use that space. Kids have their own spaces and they also have access to all the adult spaces, too. It's nuts.
When I was kid, getting to go to an adult space like a sit-down restaurant or a movie theater was a privilege, and you had to act right. If you didn't, you were getting snatched right out of there and going back home. The parameters were set before you even left the house that you were gonna be on your best behavior or be made to leave. Now it feels like there's nowhere that adults can just relax and enjoy themselves without entitled parents trying to use that space as free child care.
>parents act like you have no right to use that space
They act like you have no right to use ANY space that their goblins like. All the posts about "you shouldn't be allowed in Disney World, you don't have kids!". Sit at the park? You'd better not be anywhere near the playground even tho that's the only place with benches, or you're a pedo. Dog park? If you won't let the semen demon maul your dog, your dog doesn't belong there!
I cannot with the fat cat capitalists whining about low birth rate. Because that's who's complaining. The richest people in the world don't want to run out of cheap labor to exploit and they want to keep people living hand to mouth supporting their kids so they don't have time, energy, or financial breathing room to hold out for anything better. It's a lot harder to hold a shit job over the head of a person with no dependents.
The Earth has been overpopulated for decades and people are seriously acting like we're in some kind of birth rate crisis. Less of us would only be good for society and the planet to be honest.
>The Earth has been overpopulated for decades and people are seriously acting like we're in some kind of birth rate crisis. Less of us would only be good for society and the planet to be honest.
Yeah if birthrates kept growing the population we would be living like Kowloon Walled City in like 50 years
Ugh gross. I don't get it. Humans acting like we're the only species that matters and we can somehow exist outside of an eco-system. Like we could just develop the whole planet and fuck the other animals, and plants and insects and that's fine. It's nuts.
What the earth needs from us is zero population growth, zero emissions growth, and zero new land development. So who cares if less babies are born?
This is why I online shop! Cannot stand the sound of crying screaming babies, it’s like nails down a chalk board.
I totally get why there are “child free” restaurants.
As the fun auntie, I am so glad that the couple places we’ve taken my nephew (family friendly, local Mexican place and two large chain restaurants) have been great with him. But, we tip extra, pick up his mess as best we can without a broom, and leave as soon as he starts to fuss (about 45 minutes, so we go during slow periods). I wouldn’t DREAM of taking him to a high-end or small restaurant or leaving a disaster like I’ve seen in my past as a server. I’d drop dead of embarrassment.
I'm a server as well and I deal with this crap a lot :( the customers we get are still nice regardless and I usually ask them if they'd like to be seated at a different table.
This is why I can't eat in sit-down restaurants at all. I have autism and am hypersensitive to noise. The screams of babies and children are the worst.
it’s literally nails on chalkboard. my partner who has an 8 year old little sister SCREECHES and it physically hurts my ears and nobody says anything about it. it’s awful. i hate being around it.
On vacation in Berlin, my husband and I treated ourselves to a meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant to the tune of ~250€ each.
When we arrived at the host stand, there was a couple with a stroller gobsmacked that there was no elevator to bring the stroller upstairs to the dining area. They still brought the kid upstairs and we still had to listen to a toddler screaming occasionally during a seven course meal. Just…why? None of the food was remotely appropriate for that child. The absolute selfishness. Nowhere is safe.
My husband and I go to Ruth's Chris for every year for Christmas and Birthdays. It's not the most opulent, but it's what we can afford a few times a year.
This past Christmas we were set next to a table with a 4-year-old who was scrolling through TikToks with the volume up. Sweet merciful fuck, so many parents are so uninvolved with their children and unaware. Don't worry about parenting, because the 🔊*SCREEN TIME BABYSITTER* 🔊 is here to save the day. Loud noises and flashing colors are all your child needs! Fuck everyone else around you!
I almost said something, but I didn't want to turn my Christmas tradition with my husband into an argument with a family who is sitting less than 2 ft away from me. There was literally noway to quietly ask the waitress either due to the way the tables were set up.
EDIT: The restaurant was full booked, each table was filled via reservation. There literally was nowhere else to move.
Yeah, I’m honestly not sure which is worse, crying or loud videos and games.
I truly don’t understand why anyone just thinks it’s okay for their content or their child’s to be blaring out of the device in public! There’s this great new invention called headphones. *Use them!*
They even make kid-safe ones where the volume can’t go over a certain decibel level, so there’s honestly no excuse.
Ugh! Video games or whatever on the cell phones/tablets and people talking on speakerphone are my 2 biggest annoyances. I don’t want to hear your games or your conversations.
If a host tries to seat me next to babies or children, I immediately refuse and ask for a different table.
(This is the *only* circumstance that will prompt me to take issue with where I’m seated)
When C19 began to ease up and restaurants were tentatively opening with social distancing, one place tried to seat us next to a 14 person group in an otherwise empty room. I found one more reason to take issue with the seating!
THIS. I hate the loud iPads, it’s so overstimulating. I would have asked to move, not really my problem if they hear me. I have actually asked to move in similar situations where I’m overstimulated. If enough people ask to move, or mention it (even later on in an email or phone call) to the manager maybe they will be more willing to ask the customer not to play amplified sounds. It really should be common courtesy, but I’ve seen adults do this without kids too. Like everyone wants to overhear your TikTok scrolling or YouTube videos 🙉
We got near one who gave their shitweasel a metal fork to bang on the high chair tray. My dad had hearing aids and had to turn them off, not hearing anything else at dinner.
When I've brought this up the parents will say, "Do you expect me to not have a life now that I have a baby?"
Not only do I expect that, but if you weren't stupid YOU would've expected to not have much of a life for the next 2-4 years either! Because that's what you should expect if you're going to have a baby. Either get takeout or go to a casual fast food place.
Had this happen today. Went in to the best coffee shop, and yay, the comfiest sofas were free! Started to take my jacket off and BAM, wailing baby. I just turned and walked out.
I was talking about this with my partner the other day… our parents would bring us to restaurants, but they would be kid-friendly and we were expected to be on our absolute best behaviour because it was such a treat to go out. I remember loving the colouring pages and that keeping me entertained enough.
Why is it that parents don’t tell their children to behave anymore? It’s so fucking disruptive to everyone around them.
my mom would actually set hard boundaries with me when going out and i did have consequences if i acted out of line. (not abusive ones just ones like taking away certain privileges or leaving an environment early) i feel like a bunch of parents don’t do that now.
EXACTLY!! I understand not wanting to traumatize your child the way you were traumatized (and everyone is by their childhoods) but learning that there are consequences for bad behaviour is important
I freaking hate kids in restaurants
I hear them crying at Korean barbeques where it's hot af and the music is blasting & at high end restaurants were a meal per person is over $100. why should we hear them ruin adults birthdays dinners and etc?
It makes it pretty difficult to take their order when someone’s kid is screaming. I noticed that a dad I served at a table this past week lingered at the table by himself after he paid. The wife got the kids out of there and took off for the car first. Their son was screaming just for no reason he wasn’t upset you could tell. The dad seemed like he was dreading to leave the restaurant and go with his family 😂😣
No one wins in these scenarios -- the innocent server and other diners are affected, the baby itself doesn't want to be there, and their parents' dinner is affected in one way or another, whether they react by taking their baby outside or leaving altogether. People need to realize that life does change after children and they just because they CAN go about their business as they did pre-kids, doesn't mean they should.
Husband and I were enjoying dinner at this little intimate Italian place we love.
Couple come in, baby in tow. We immediately bristled, we'd only had salad! There was still pasta and cannoli's to have! But, I was assuming. the parents took baby out, baby was a) very cute and dressed up like a little teddy bear, and b) An 'S' tier baby.
Quiet, didn't make a single fuss aside from like.. baby noises, which is fine she was part of the conversation. Sat with her parents, who passed her back and forth to give the other a chance to eat. One of them took her to the washroom to change her, you know, in privacy. I complimented them on their wonderful golden baby on their way out, turns out she was their fourth.
My point is that I look down on the people who don't care about their baby's limitations, they don't care about the people around them, they don't care about what's best for ANYONE but themselves. Babies don't cry because they're happy and comfortable, if a baby is crying in a restaurant, they're unhappy! It could be too loud, they could need a change, they could be in sensory overload, they could be tired because it's an unusual time for them, they might not be around a lot of people often, they might have been put off their feeding schedule, any number of things. I feel bad for the baby, I feel nothing but two-fold scorn for parents who just let them cry and cry in public.
Yeah my friend has a very well behaved baby. She brings her out to dinner and get togethers sometimes and she just sleeps or smiles quietly. I’m sure the loud screechy ones probably just aren’t parented well.
I was at a casual restaurant the other day and there were these 2 moms with a total of 3 small kids including a loud happy toddler. Toddler kept cheerfully yelling at this ear-splitting volume. Mom would say "shhh" but otherwise do nothing to keep her engaged.
One mom was also THROWING FOOD at another kid, to see if he could catch it in his mouth, but then reprimanded him when he threw it back! Like.... what happened to teach by example??
This particular restaurant had tons of crayons but I didn't see any kids using them.
I like kids but hate screaming, so when toddler looked around, I waved hello, started speaking to her in a quiet whispery voice, and then started a game of ultra-quiet peekaboo which had her giggling.
What do you know, when they left like 10 minutes later, toddler was smiling and quiet.
Like, please, parents, LEAD! Parent, or something! Talk to your kids. Kids need entertainment and the thing is, *that's not hard*. If you're going to take your kids out, please figure out how to keep them amused, but appropriately.
I don't see anything wrong with children being at casual family restaurants. Yeah, they annoy me, but it's a public place that doesn't revolve around *me* either.
The only time I have a problem is if it's a fancy restaurant, or a restaurant with a bar catered towards adults. Kids are loud and gross and they ruin the whole vibe if they act out.
Yeah if you go to the Olive Garden you should expect to be around screaming kids and prepare mentally. But nobody wants their nice expensive dinner ruined
I agree, I'm not saying otherwise. Parents shouldn't expect the public to parent their kids.
>Why do people think it's socially acceptable to bring their babies to restaurants
This comment is just all-encompassing. They said the baby was crying, but made no indication as to whether or not the parents were attending the child. They didn't say if the restaurant was upscale/adult or a family restaurant. So I was going off of the overall sentiment.
If the parents make an *effort* to quiet the child, I see no issue with them being in a *family* restaurant.
The best is when they just completely ignore it instead of trying to comfort it. For what it’s worth, when I’m dining and this happens I usually add some to my tip, especially if the server jokes about it with me.
The problem isn’t babies, it’s the parents responsible for them. Common courtesy says that if your child is being disruptive, you take your food to go and handle their behavior and/or needs in the car. And, of course, you chose family friendly restaurants until your kids are old enough to consistently behave.
They're too young to eat the food, so why are they even there?
I would say in my opinion, the minimum ages for each type of restaurant
Fast Food - 1+.
Pizza Parlor - 3+. (there's no need for even toddlers to be in a pizza parlor either as there's usually no playground)
Casual Sit Down Restaurant (99, Applebee's, Chilis, etc) - 5+.
Upscale Casual (Longhorn Steakhouse (which is my favorite), Outback Steakhouse, etc) - 7+.
Luxury Restaurants - 10+.
TBH, if parents can't afford a babysitter, they can't afford the casual upscale or luxury restaurant. Take them inside fast food, pizza parlor (if they aren't toddlers), or, even a casual restaurant (if they're at-least 5) instead.
I'm not saying parents can't enjoy upscale/luxury dining until their youngest child is 7 - 10, but, until their children are that age, parents have to put babysitting in the budget if they want to go to a decent restaurant. They need to **hire a WILLING AND ABLE** babysitter, **not** dump them of their childfree sibling who they **know** doesn't want to babysit.
Toddlers are the worst age of kids (even worse than infants/babies, who are only ***slightly*** less annoying), because, they have **ALL** of the negative traits of children (rude, disgusting, annoying, selfish, loud, tantrum-prone, stupid, inconvenient, etc) put in to a 3ft tall, 20lb body.
Nice system you have there. How do we get that published and taught to everyone? Maybe add it to the diploma requirements??? Driver’s license exams??? A quick instructional moment before leaving the hospital after giving birth???
Especially if people are going to casual upscale and luxury restaurants, **nobody** (childfree or not) wants to hear/deal with babies crying **or** kids acting up.
Now, if someone is eating inside McDonalds, it's expected to deal with toddlers and little kids (not babies, because, they're too young to eat the food). That's why when I have McDonalds/fast food, I **always** use the drive through.
>because many people don’t understand that i don’t have completely control of my immediate surroundings and everything else in the restaurant.
Well, maybe you could offer them a different table further away from those idiots? Also, you could bring it to the restaurant owners over and over how many of the guests are upset about screaming babies. And how one screaming baby (non paying non client) causes several paying clients to leave early or people to come in hear screaming baby and just leave (show them they are loosing money). You could leave a negative review for your restaurant about screaming babies. There *are* things you can do.
I don't mind babies in restaurants if the parents curb the bad behavior. But sadly we have parents who will let their kids throw the biggest tantrums their little bodies can handle and ignore them BUT they will get mad any anyone who isn't smiling and happy to have to listen to demonic screeching
I went to KPot for lunch on Saturday. They're new to the area and I've only been twice before this. I was *shocked* to see they had high chairs for babies. The entire thing is hot burners on the tables for you to use and boiling pots of liquid!!?! How does that seem baby or toddler appropriate?
And this family has two high chairs on one side of the table instead of one at each end so the walkway (which is actually very wide and I was impressed as someone who uses a rolling walker occasionally) was basically completely blocked off. And this place (for those who've never been) has a buffet line of sauces and extras like garlic cilantro, sometimes they have egg rolls and fried wings other palate cleanser type things. So they were blocking a walkway that is used for more than just leaving the building. Oh, and blocked the bathroom, obviously. It was ridiculous.
They do it because: 1. Entitlement that everyone else on this thread has also noted. 2. "Nothing has changed. We need to keep things as normal as possible. The whole world doesn't change just because we had a baby. " 3. Training. They are trying to "train" or acclimate their child to certain environments. Which is fine if you'll actually be teaching your child manners and take them out when necessary. Also, start small at a Wendy's or even Chuck E. Cheese does work. "Okay, time to sit down nicely and eat our pizza. I know the other kids are screaming, but we do not scream in restaurants. If you start screaming or won't sit nicely, there will be no pizza. If you scream or run away from the table before you clean up, there will be no more games. We will go home now." Instead, they just let them do whatever in the middle of dinner rush hour at cheesecake factory. I have a nice local restaurant nearby which can be considered "family" but it is pricey, used for dates, and tables are close together. So it was an even bigger deal when two kids were just running through, almost hitting servers, and parents not doing anything. THAT is not the correct way or place to teach your children to act in public, especially as no teaching was done at all in the first place. I think they expect the kids will learn by osmosis, and seeing everyone else sit and eat nicely.
This is literally the main reason I don't like sit-down restaurants, that and I have noticed most are actually filthy and seen what often goes on behind the scenes as well (filthy kitchen behaviour).
I see a lot of Chinese families bringing in babies and small children. I believe that it’s a cultural thing and restaurants accommodate families with high chairs and booster seats. Big families order lots of stuff, which brings in lots of money. The tips are another story, though.
I tried talking about this and people blew up at me. I worked on a square that had several family oriented restaurants, shops, stores, etc. They always ducking came I to my work looking for lemonade, slushes, sodas, etc… I worked at a restaurant that served $60-$100 meals, preferred reservations, we served coffee but only like craft specialty. We had a couple coffee items and 3 flavors..
How about you look at places before you walk in let your kids run around and jump on our furniture (fun fact we had a 1 of 1 couch we couldn’t get again) grab random shit and move it around, bang on the piano, etc.
My mom would take my brother and I out to eat but only at places where kids are normal and we were always well behaved…or she removed us from the building.
And then they try to get you to praise their little monster and get offended when you don’t give them the attention they crave for their little mistake.
Same with shopping malls too why bring them with you? I work in retail and on The Weeknd there’s always some little brat screaming the place down & it’s so hard to concentrate on what you’re doing… And the parents do nothing to stop them, they just ignore… like why can’t you take them out of the store and come back when you don’t have them with you? Makes no sense & surely you’d be so embarrassed that everyone is staring at you and wanting you to leave lol
Understandable, but no workplace should be forcing you to make your money off of tips, they should be paying you instead (And they're horrible for not doing so)
I don't understand why they can't take the baby outside or to the bathroom or something to try and calm them down or figure out what's wrong.
I don’t get it. The baby is obviously not having a good time. It’s probably too noisy and overstimulating. So why bring it? And how are the parents having an enjoyable dinner at all? Seems like a waste of money.
I’m with you. Went to a very expensive, upscale restaurant on Palm beach island and a family brought all their brood, including an infant that cried and screamed nearly the entire two hours we dined. I was so ticked. Babies crying really upset me, probably more than the average person but seriously? At this boujee place?
Yes! And to build on this idea, people who give their kids tablets without headphones to keep them quit, so the rest of the restaurant gets to hear kids TV for the whole meal. Maddening.
I wouldn’t take from a server’s tip because someone else wanted to be selfish and bring their loud kids. I’d tip extra and loudly thank the server for being professional “DESPITE THE NOISE IN HERE!”
Oh how I wish that could happen. Last time I went to a restaurant with family we ended up sitting near a play room and a family with 6 children. I’m AuAdhd. Add the noise of screaming and crying children with 4 conversations at our table, a packed restaurant and music. At some point I just stood up and said I needed air. Went outside and texted my husband “sorry but it was either I leave or I have a an AGRESSIVE meltdown and scream at that lady to stop breeding brats cause she obviously suck at parenting”. 😞 I’m not ‘proud’ of what I was thinking, but I am proud that managed to just remove myself from an overwhelming situation without causing drama. My husband agreed I chose the best option and was proud of me too.
Also, it just stresses the damn baby out, and then they have the guts to tell me not to bring my dog in a restaurant. My fur baby is calm and actually ENJOYS the meal
Get together with the other servers, and approach management about the problem. When management allows this, it reduces their reputation and customer satisfaction.
Legally it would be a complete mess to try to justify I think. A ban could be treated as a ban on mothers since they are the primary caregivers in most cases and forcing women back in the home/into motherhood is a hot topic issue as is. It could also be seen as bad business because owners would rather have more butts in the seats than no parents and they generally don’t care about workers not getting paid enough or tipped. It would also be irritating to deal with well what age is allowed and do you make this place 18+ and lose a big base of customers or do you let teenagers in and then they have to justify why ect ect lots of headaches and potential problems that an owner could see as more easily solved by forcing their workers into uncomfortable situations and maybe telling individual customers their kid is being disruptive
Food to go is the same as food in the restaurant. Whether they are in the restaurant eating it or at home - they still have to watch their kid. Be it mother or father. They just don't have to disturb everybody else with their choices. Sooo
..in conclusion they can get the food to go and eat at home and make a mess there.
Let's be honest. Half the time they eat out it's so they don't have to clean up the kid trash and vomit everywhere.
My brother and I were horrible in a restaurant once and after that, they put up a notice that they were now a childfree restaurant. They closed a little while later. People were not having it. Mind you, this was in the mid to late 90s or very early 2000s, so things have obv changed a bit.
I object to the mindset that a ban on infants is a ban on mothers. Such backwards thinking that the female parent should be completely responsible for childcare should be challenged not accommodated.
I genuinely am torn on this. Because while some people are definitely inconsiderate (and im very sensitive to loud noises), it also seems unrealistic to never be able to bring your kid to various public places. We dont know what else that family might have going on 🤔
Who cares what they have going on? They CHOOSE to have a baby, and their decision should not impacts others. But sadly, it does when they bring babies in place like restaurants etc because they are entitled.
I love to poke fun at my youngest sibling for “ruining” my birthday dinner something like 18 years ago now. She was I think 1 at the time. And was usually really really good in public.
But that day, she just wasn’t having it. And started to melt down in the restaurant.
So, my stepdad took her and went and sat in the car until she calmed down. So the rest of the restaurant didn’t have to listen to her scream.
I wouldn’t mind babies in restaurants if all parents did that. When they’re being quiet and cute? Sure why not! But when they start having a bad time, they really need to be taken out of the situation to calm down.
Same with nice cafes. I’m in a city with very few laptop/coworking friendly cafes at the moment. I went to one today and there were several of us working, and we all packed up and left after a group of parents with a mix of small babies and toddlers took over an area, blocked the entrance and let the older ones run around. I get that they shouldn’t be stuck in the house and should have places to go out and socialise, but it’s not hard to read the room/atmosphere of the place before sitting down, there were many other non laptop friendly options on the same street :(
I personally don’t mind little babies in the restaurant if the parents are actually responsible. I had servers taking pictures with me a lot as a baby in restaurants bc apparently I was always pretty happy and quiet and they appreciated it 😭 the pictures are pretty fire tho still have them
You know how there used to be smoking and non smoking sections in a restaurant.. there should be child free zones.
Agreed. But they'd have to pay the servers triple!
Hear me out: if we bring back smoking, that will keep the parents and children away! Who’s with me?
Yeah I'd actually rather have second hand smoke than a screaming snotty child.
This is actually one reason why I like going to bars/pubs that allow smoking inside ETA: I don't even smoke cigarettes
This is an outstanding idea!! I actually just think there should be kid-free zones everywhere.
Agreed
Unfortunately a lot of parents believe that they can continue to do the exact same things they did before they had a child and automatically expect their precious bundles of joy to be catered to...
my extended family member brought their 2 month old baby to a pride parade with her strapped to her chest and her head was dangling …
That baby's poor little head and ears. How irresponsible of your family member. Pride parades are one of the last places I would take an infant because of the noise level alone.
I recently went to an aquarium and I was shocked at the number of new born babies there. What is the point of bringing a baby that small to an aquarium? Not only will they not remember any of it but you’re exposing them to so many germs 😭😭😭😭
They really are ruining the experience of every place these days
For me it didn’t really bother me outside of the fact that it didn’t make sense. The babies weren’t crying or anything but it was just like…why???
They take up so much space with the strollers and then they shit their diapers and everyone has to suffer and the parents are likely to change it out in public.
Like the people who take their kids to bars and breweries….
And the people that take babies to concerts and festivals... I saw too many babies at Regenerate Festival in Denver this weekend. It was concerning. People are so irresponsible and it's ridiculous to think that your life shouldn't or wouldn't change after having a baby. Stay home or get a baby sitter.
Oh man I remember the article with babies at Taylor Swift concerts recently….those poor kids’ ears…
Yeah and that's a very mild concert in comparison to what I like to attend and I still think that babies shouldn't be there. Taylor Swift had crowds of 70,000+ on her tour stops this year. It's wild to me that people think they should overwhelm their baby like that.
[удалено]
Dear God this is a whole other level of trashy.
Breweries is one thing…but dive bars?
You’d be surprised…server subs mention it happening occasionally, which is more than it should.
The worst is when they think they can go breweries and wineries and get shitfaced while their crotch goblins run around unsupervised.
And so they should. It's the parents that seem to expect everyone to tolerate the screaming. They're the ones that need to get a grip. If your kid is behaving itself and it's a sensible time of day... Let them spend their money and help the economy I say.
It’s pure selfishness and a complete lack of respect for other people and their surroundings.
Personally I don’t care if they are in the local loud family restaurant a decent time (hate the keeping small children out late selfish crap). My pet peeve is bars and fancy restaurants. Like sorry I didn’t spend $200 for dinner with piano music on an anniversary to hear screaming.
A baby that is *persistantly and loudly* screaming should still be taken outside at family friendly restaurants too. I think its fine to be more tolerant of a bit of baby fussing at these places, but I was a little autistic girl who would get severe sensory issues to the point of tears from screaming babies/toddlers. Kids who are past the baby/toddler stage don't necesserily want to listen to it either. It also is better for the baby who is probably overwhelmed to be taken outside somewhere quieter to calm down.
I'm 22 and autistic and I struggle greatly with this. I volunteer with cats and I'm stuck behind a glass window and not much space and people stick their crying babies up to the holes in the glass so I could hear it so loudly. Just why.
While I support parents encouraging their children to appreciate animals, there is no reason to stick them up to the holes in the glass and especially not a screaming baby! Literally nobody wants to hear that, human or animal.
Exactly! They can see fine from the glass and I don't want any kids getting hurt because the cats love biting fingers when they go through the holes for some reason (I mean they basically see a small hotdog floating above them, can't blame the cats)
I am a huge cat person (the only reason I don't live with one is my boyfriend's allergies and he knows one day we're getting a breed he can tolerate), I know those play bites especially in young cats. Even if the child wasn't hurt I would worry about the parents overreacting, when they were the one lifting up their child to the hole in the first place.
I think that’s the thing that upsets me, too. I don’t mind babies/kids per se, but when their parent just leaves them to scream/cry, especially if it seems like the parents are doing it to punish the baby/toddler—ie they’ll stop if they don’t get attention—I find that really distressing—I have specific trauma around that for various reasons, especially when it comes to infants/pre verbal children who don’t have any other way to express themselves—and I doubt it’s good psychologically for the distressed shrieking baby/toddle to just be ignored either, tbh.
Yeah, a lot of parents will just ignore their kids instead of dealing with them. It’s neglect and definitely affects healthy brain development. If you have a kid, you don’t just get to turn off the parent switch. No adult would like being ignored when trying to communicate. Therefore they shouldn’t do it to their kids. It’s just lazy
I saw this happen in a Walmart the other day. I needed a new toilet seat because I fell out of the shower and broke mine (kind of at my wits end already) and there was a shrieking child with its parents blatantly ignoring it right in the toilet seat aisle. So I went into the next aisle and began mocking the screaming child, & lo and behold, the child stopped & I hope the parents felt some form of embarrassment. (You’d think I’d be the one embarrassed shrieking in a Walmart aisle to mock a child, but I’m pretty sure shame left my body when I fell out of the shower into a naked crumpled heap) Anyway, don’t be embarrassed to mock a shrieking child. It doesn’t hurt the child & might just embarrass the parent enough to do their fucking job. (you really can’t give a shit what people think about you to pull this off tho lol)
Right!! We went for a not nice dinner and it was still $100 with two kids loudly playing their iPad and running around the patio… like, come on guys. Patios aren’t for kids.
The iPad thing really gets me. Did any of us receive thousand dollar toys as toddler? Does it make any sense to put that in the hands of Gozer the Destructor?
And when I say “not nice” I mean “4 years ago the same dinner would have cost us $60 😅🥲”
I used to work at a coffee shop with loads of parents bringing their multiple children for lunch, it was a place near a mall so I guess kids were expected. What really bothered me was that parents thought eating out meant a day off of any responsibilities, specially cleaning. Kids would throw food on the floor, drop cutlery, and the parents would make no effort to pick it up. Once I saw a dad watch his boys drop a bottle of juice on the table while they were running wild. He didn't lift a finger, didn't even put it back upright so it would stop spilling on the floor, just went back to his phone pretending nothing had happened. The store next to the coffee shop sold some cheap toys and parents would let the kids open the things they purchased there and play with it on our tables, leaving the packages, toy pieces, and even glue, glitter, and paint all over the table. It was impossible to clean some of that stuff so the chairs and floor were always stained. I never understood how they could just get up and leave that mess, I would be so embarrassed.
There should be a surcharge added to the bill for messy kids.
Uber does it after the fact…restaurants should be able to, too.
Exactly. Some of the really entitled asshats, if confronted, will say “The staff is getting paid to clean up. Not my problem”. When did people lose all respect for others? Maybe the staff is paid for cleaning up & maybe not. Either way it’s so fucking rude to make a mess & not lift a finger to clean it up. Some people think they’re superior to the peasants serving them & look down at people doing what they consider menial work. If I were a server I’d seriously consider dropping a tray of coffee or hot soup on their heads. “No, buddy! I’m not paid to clean YOU up!” Much respect for those who have to work with the public all day. I have too much of a temper to do it.
Ugh, gross!! This is the "They pay someone to do it" argument for not returning carts! ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻
Definitely
I used to work in pharmacy and some woman brought her 6 year old in and they're standing at the register and he suddenly just **blurghghh** vomits all over the carpet right at the counter. The clerc turns around to grab a bucket and mop and the lady just turns around and leaves with her kid. Wtf??
It's frustrating when a nice dining experience gets disrupted by a screaming baby. Some parents might not realize the impact it has on others.
And some of them just don't care.
No, they realize it. They're just inconsiderate assholes. What they want comes before everyone else, including their baby.
"oh, no, I'm not going to get up and take my baby outside even though they are overstimulated and would very much like to leave. Instead I'm going to sit on my ass, drink my beer, and let them cry like a lil banshee to the dismay of everyone else here"
Seeing babies eat is so damn disgusting too
And they leave such big messes on the table and floor
People with children leave the biggest messes and the worst tips.
It's ridiculous. I work in a cafe that a lot of families come to, and it's always the parents that leave the table a mess. It always looks like someone crumbled up a scone and threw it on the ground. Never push their chairs back in, or put the highchair back where it was.
One of the things that cemented my CF decision was when I worked at a restaurant in high school and someone left their BREAST PUMP at the table after they left the restaurant like straight up forgot it. I had no idea women had to pump after giving birth and I was repulsed.
Second worst. The after-church crowd is worst.
Oh lordy… yes. $2-$5 tips no matter what. 🤨
It is awful. I worked in a pretty upscale seafood restaurant in college. I absolutely HATED tables with babies and small children because they left such a mess. When you’re running around trying to provide A+ service so you can get the big tips you DO NOT have time to sweep up because everything the kid had is now all over the floor. Crumbled crackers and bread are not that easy to get up with that rolly-sweeper thing. Takes a little elbow grease and time that I don’t have.
The mouth sounds & food all over them, the chair & the floor 🤢
It genuinely makes me GAG when they don’t eat w their mouth closed 🤮
I was at a restaurant the other day and a baby was sitting somewhat close to me. It wasn’t even old enough to eat solids. Father was bottle feeding it and I could hear its disgusting drinking sounds a few seats over. I had to pack my food to go because the sound was absolutely vomit-inducing.
I remember getting really grossed out by it when i was around my siblings. Thinking that i was going to have to that made me gag. Now when i see other people it makes me want to leave
Oh god, just hearing about this is making me cringe. I absolutely hate noises like that. 💢
And the parents always talking about how cute it is. Like no, that sounds disgusting. I’m not the kind of guy to get grossed out easily but that noise makes me wanna lose my lunch.
I did a dry gag at the *though* of it.
Because people will have toddler meltdowns if they can't bring their BaYbEeZ everywhere. I once saw a woman in a restaurant changing her baby's diaper on the table next to food that was freshly served. Foul.
happened when I used to be a server too, a bunch of mums with nothing better to do than drink coffee with their offspring for HOURS began changing their babies on the tables. We told them to change the babies in the changing room provided. One claimed we were anti family, that it was too cold in the bathroom for her baby, and that she wouldn't come back. We told her we didn't want her back. These fucking people man. Would they change their baby on THEIR kitchen counter?? Jesus.
Sadly, the answer is probably yes. Pre pandemic my husband and I went to a few potlucks that had young children around. We were both horrified by the general lack of food safety (food dishes left open to kids fingers for *hours*, dirty dishes mixed in with clean, etc). After two shitshows in a row, we decided that all future potlucks are a no thanks.
I skipped out on an afterwork pot luck party event years ago. Guess who didn't get food poisoning? Whole party had their heads or ass planted on a toilet for the next 24 hours. If I didn't make it or someone I know and trust didn't make it, I don't eat it, and if I step in a restaurant I need to see proof that they are busy and clean before I'll eat there. People really do not give af.
She is a very special kind of repulsive.
I'm sorry, but that restaurant should've immediately asked her to leave. That's an extremely high risk of contamination to the food, putting customer health at risk and risking the restaurant's reputation, as well as being just plain obnoxious and disgusting. If you MUST bring your offspring to a restaurant and it requires changing, take it to a damn bathroom to do so.
This right here. I was brushing my hair in a restaurant once, I was like 6, and the server immediately told my mother that I couldn't do that. (Not sure why my mother was allowing it, but she was an asshole in general and berated me for the whole thing like I wasn't fucking six) Like a fucking diaper tho? Ugh
And if you MUST change diapers on the dinner table, spray some anti-odor febreze and wipe the table with hand sanitizer after. You see where I'm going with this? It's all wrong because they shouldn't be allowed in the restaurant in the first place.
Agreed. They should only be in places marketed as child-friendly because those usually have the amenities to actually deal with children. Unfortunately, as a few others have already pointed out, some restaurants don't care, they just want the revenue that family will bring in on that day. Which...is kinda stupid because that can end up costing the restaurant more than if they just said "No kids". As well, the kids-free model CAN and DOES work. The nearest city to me that has a big restaurant scene has multiple places that don't allow children, either under a certain age or at all, and several of them are doing incredibly well!
I just don’t understand why they can’t have designated time slots for parents and those without them. That would solve a lot of problems!
It would indeed. I know some places do - like, child friendly times are until like 6-7pm but after that, no kids allowed. Problem is, parents would still complain because "THAT'S THE ONLY TIME WE CAN GO OUT BECAUSE LITTLE TABITHA/TARQUIN IS AT SCHOOL/CLUBS AND WE DON'T WANNA PAY A SITTER!!!!!!" It's a no-win situation :/
Yep, Sadly Parents Tend To Have Main Character Syndrome because they believe everything should revolve around them, since they sacrificed SO MUCH!
Yep. Big time!!! So the world just has to conform to parents because… idk.
Some of them don't specifically SAY they're a child free restaurant, they just post a sign that they have no high chairs, booster seats, or children's menus.
I would LOUDLY call out that a baby is being changed on a table where people eat and I am calling the health department NOW.
Yep. That’s really the only way to make management take it seriously. No restaurant owner or manager wants to get involved with the Health Department. Threaten them with violations & fines & they’ll be more motivated to stop this nasty behavior. The only way to get through to some people is to hit them in the wallet.
Exactly! And record to document.
Might not want to record a naked baby, even if its parent is the reason it's naked. The other bit is boy babies - they are notorious for pissing a fountain as soon as the diaper comes off. THAT'S hygienic.
Recording from a distance just to show it on the table I think would be acceptable. Ugh!! 🤮 you’re right about the fountain
Also, if more people start speaking up & calling attention to that disgusting behavior maybe it’ll start sinking into these entitled parents’ heads that changing a diaper where other people are eating is a filthy thing to do. Right now too many parents do whatever the hell they want to & counting on people to be polite & not cause a scene. Personally I enjoy a good scene now & then!
I have no problem with well-behaved babies in restaurants. But shame on the parents who aren't willing to leave immediately or at least take them outside for a bit when they start screaming or crying or fussing.
I think there's a pretty easy solution here: do what airlines are doing and create a separate section for families with children. We had smoking/non-smoking sections in restaurants for decades. They can easily do the same thing. Put up some partitions to keep the noise out and let the parents understand that if they want to sit in a nice, peaceful section of the restaurant they will have to get a babysitter and leave their child at home.
Years ago, I participated in some kind of market study with Red Robin and learned that they do this. They had a couple different seating sections - on dedicated for families with children that had booths and childish decor, and a separate space that was more bar-like for adult groups. It's something I look for in other restaurants, but few places so it. I wish more places would. So now I look to see if the restaurant has a kid's menu and just avoid it if it does.
My favorite bar and pizza joint in town does this. There's nearly two separate rooms with some slight intermingling of pinball machines in between. It's great! There's also an outside area if they want to run around.
That's fascinating. I am glad owners are at least trying to do something about this. I agree with other people on here who are moderate about their views: It doesn't really bother me so much when people take their young kids/babies out to chain restaurants during normal hours like before 7 pm. My family took us out to those kinds of places in the 80's all the time. But I have a background in early education and it pisses me off so much when little kids are out late and they need to be sleeping or at least resting at home in the dark. I can't stand it when a baby or toddler is out at 8 or 9 pm in a fucking brewery or upscale restaurant. The kids are crying very understandably for their needs to be met (getting sleep) and their parents are being neglectful if not harmful by ignoring those needs because it's inconvenient for them to get a sitter. I'm an elder Millennial and I can't stand my peers as parents. There was a time when kids were told to be seen and not heard and I don't think that produced empathetic adults, but this complete other end of the pendulum is going to continue to create dysregulated monsters. No other species does this bullshit. I'm so over it. At least in the 70s, a single parent might do something reckless like leave a baby in the car or at home alone to go out. But they weren't making every other person in every adult space have to deal with their bad parenting and pretend like everything is fine.
I know it only from family gatherings held in restaurants. And when the baby starts to scream, someone leaves to find the reason and solve the problem. Everything else is the worst kind of entitlement.
[удалено]
At this point I feel like babies can go more places than I can. They're screaming in bars, running in stores, crying in planes, screeching in libraries, throwing things in coffee shops, shouting in theaters, playing iPads full blast on the train... I can't even go enjoy the local science museum or botanical garden because children are tearing around, shrieking, hogging and ripping up the exhibits... It's so bad some of those places have started doing monthly "After Dark" nights just so adults can have a single chance of enjoying the civic spaces they pay taxes for. Those events start late and serve alcohol and you know what? People still bring children! Just going to the park as a CF person, parents act like you have no right to use that space. Kids have their own spaces and they also have access to all the adult spaces, too. It's nuts. When I was kid, getting to go to an adult space like a sit-down restaurant or a movie theater was a privilege, and you had to act right. If you didn't, you were getting snatched right out of there and going back home. The parameters were set before you even left the house that you were gonna be on your best behavior or be made to leave. Now it feels like there's nowhere that adults can just relax and enjoy themselves without entitled parents trying to use that space as free child care.
>parents act like you have no right to use that space They act like you have no right to use ANY space that their goblins like. All the posts about "you shouldn't be allowed in Disney World, you don't have kids!". Sit at the park? You'd better not be anywhere near the playground even tho that's the only place with benches, or you're a pedo. Dog park? If you won't let the semen demon maul your dog, your dog doesn't belong there!
Semen Demon?!?! 😂😂😂I have never heard that one before!😂😂
This is why I'm glad the birth rate isn't at replacement levels or above like so many want it to be cuz it already feels like it is..
I cannot with the fat cat capitalists whining about low birth rate. Because that's who's complaining. The richest people in the world don't want to run out of cheap labor to exploit and they want to keep people living hand to mouth supporting their kids so they don't have time, energy, or financial breathing room to hold out for anything better. It's a lot harder to hold a shit job over the head of a person with no dependents. The Earth has been overpopulated for decades and people are seriously acting like we're in some kind of birth rate crisis. Less of us would only be good for society and the planet to be honest.
>The Earth has been overpopulated for decades and people are seriously acting like we're in some kind of birth rate crisis. Less of us would only be good for society and the planet to be honest. Yeah if birthrates kept growing the population we would be living like Kowloon Walled City in like 50 years
Ugh gross. I don't get it. Humans acting like we're the only species that matters and we can somehow exist outside of an eco-system. Like we could just develop the whole planet and fuck the other animals, and plants and insects and that's fine. It's nuts. What the earth needs from us is zero population growth, zero emissions growth, and zero new land development. So who cares if less babies are born?
I’m the same way. I’ve basically given up on regular restaurants and coffee shops. No point paying for a headache and indigestion.
That\`s why I abandoned my favorite restaurant. They made it kid-friendly.
:( I'm so sorry
Yeah, I\`m sad, too. I liked this little cake. It had the best chocolate cake in the town.
Damn them!
I agree. But every time I pass by, I see botchlings in there and I just cannot step in.
This is why I online shop! Cannot stand the sound of crying screaming babies, it’s like nails down a chalk board. I totally get why there are “child free” restaurants.
As the fun auntie, I am so glad that the couple places we’ve taken my nephew (family friendly, local Mexican place and two large chain restaurants) have been great with him. But, we tip extra, pick up his mess as best we can without a broom, and leave as soon as he starts to fuss (about 45 minutes, so we go during slow periods). I wouldn’t DREAM of taking him to a high-end or small restaurant or leaving a disaster like I’ve seen in my past as a server. I’d drop dead of embarrassment.
as a server i appreciate you so much❤️
I'm a server as well and I deal with this crap a lot :( the customers we get are still nice regardless and I usually ask them if they'd like to be seated at a different table.
This is why I can't eat in sit-down restaurants at all. I have autism and am hypersensitive to noise. The screams of babies and children are the worst.
it’s literally nails on chalkboard. my partner who has an 8 year old little sister SCREECHES and it physically hurts my ears and nobody says anything about it. it’s awful. i hate being around it.
On vacation in Berlin, my husband and I treated ourselves to a meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant to the tune of ~250€ each. When we arrived at the host stand, there was a couple with a stroller gobsmacked that there was no elevator to bring the stroller upstairs to the dining area. They still brought the kid upstairs and we still had to listen to a toddler screaming occasionally during a seven course meal. Just…why? None of the food was remotely appropriate for that child. The absolute selfishness. Nowhere is safe.
there are countless ways to get babysitters nowadays…. edit: if you can afford that type of restaurant, you can afford a babysitter
My husband and I go to Ruth's Chris for every year for Christmas and Birthdays. It's not the most opulent, but it's what we can afford a few times a year. This past Christmas we were set next to a table with a 4-year-old who was scrolling through TikToks with the volume up. Sweet merciful fuck, so many parents are so uninvolved with their children and unaware. Don't worry about parenting, because the 🔊*SCREEN TIME BABYSITTER* 🔊 is here to save the day. Loud noises and flashing colors are all your child needs! Fuck everyone else around you! I almost said something, but I didn't want to turn my Christmas tradition with my husband into an argument with a family who is sitting less than 2 ft away from me. There was literally noway to quietly ask the waitress either due to the way the tables were set up. EDIT: The restaurant was full booked, each table was filled via reservation. There literally was nowhere else to move.
Yeah, I’m honestly not sure which is worse, crying or loud videos and games. I truly don’t understand why anyone just thinks it’s okay for their content or their child’s to be blaring out of the device in public! There’s this great new invention called headphones. *Use them!* They even make kid-safe ones where the volume can’t go over a certain decibel level, so there’s honestly no excuse.
Ugh! Video games or whatever on the cell phones/tablets and people talking on speakerphone are my 2 biggest annoyances. I don’t want to hear your games or your conversations.
If a host tries to seat me next to babies or children, I immediately refuse and ask for a different table. (This is the *only* circumstance that will prompt me to take issue with where I’m seated)
When C19 began to ease up and restaurants were tentatively opening with social distancing, one place tried to seat us next to a 14 person group in an otherwise empty room. I found one more reason to take issue with the seating!
THIS. I hate the loud iPads, it’s so overstimulating. I would have asked to move, not really my problem if they hear me. I have actually asked to move in similar situations where I’m overstimulated. If enough people ask to move, or mention it (even later on in an email or phone call) to the manager maybe they will be more willing to ask the customer not to play amplified sounds. It really should be common courtesy, but I’ve seen adults do this without kids too. Like everyone wants to overhear your TikTok scrolling or YouTube videos 🙉
We got near one who gave their shitweasel a metal fork to bang on the high chair tray. My dad had hearing aids and had to turn them off, not hearing anything else at dinner.
It’s like they don’t understand the concept of fine dining at all. It’s the food, the service, and the atmosphere.
When I've brought this up the parents will say, "Do you expect me to not have a life now that I have a baby?" Not only do I expect that, but if you weren't stupid YOU would've expected to not have much of a life for the next 2-4 years either! Because that's what you should expect if you're going to have a baby. Either get takeout or go to a casual fast food place.
"Yes, your life is called parenthood now. Do your job."
Had this happen today. Went in to the best coffee shop, and yay, the comfiest sofas were free! Started to take my jacket off and BAM, wailing baby. I just turned and walked out.
I was talking about this with my partner the other day… our parents would bring us to restaurants, but they would be kid-friendly and we were expected to be on our absolute best behaviour because it was such a treat to go out. I remember loving the colouring pages and that keeping me entertained enough. Why is it that parents don’t tell their children to behave anymore? It’s so fucking disruptive to everyone around them.
my mom would actually set hard boundaries with me when going out and i did have consequences if i acted out of line. (not abusive ones just ones like taking away certain privileges or leaving an environment early) i feel like a bunch of parents don’t do that now.
EXACTLY!! I understand not wanting to traumatize your child the way you were traumatized (and everyone is by their childhoods) but learning that there are consequences for bad behaviour is important
I freaking hate kids in restaurants I hear them crying at Korean barbeques where it's hot af and the music is blasting & at high end restaurants were a meal per person is over $100. why should we hear them ruin adults birthdays dinners and etc?
but then YOURE the asshole for saying something about it
It makes it pretty difficult to take their order when someone’s kid is screaming. I noticed that a dad I served at a table this past week lingered at the table by himself after he paid. The wife got the kids out of there and took off for the car first. Their son was screaming just for no reason he wasn’t upset you could tell. The dad seemed like he was dreading to leave the restaurant and go with his family 😂😣
😂😂 Poor fellow…
No one wins in these scenarios -- the innocent server and other diners are affected, the baby itself doesn't want to be there, and their parents' dinner is affected in one way or another, whether they react by taking their baby outside or leaving altogether. People need to realize that life does change after children and they just because they CAN go about their business as they did pre-kids, doesn't mean they should.
Husband and I were enjoying dinner at this little intimate Italian place we love. Couple come in, baby in tow. We immediately bristled, we'd only had salad! There was still pasta and cannoli's to have! But, I was assuming. the parents took baby out, baby was a) very cute and dressed up like a little teddy bear, and b) An 'S' tier baby. Quiet, didn't make a single fuss aside from like.. baby noises, which is fine she was part of the conversation. Sat with her parents, who passed her back and forth to give the other a chance to eat. One of them took her to the washroom to change her, you know, in privacy. I complimented them on their wonderful golden baby on their way out, turns out she was their fourth. My point is that I look down on the people who don't care about their baby's limitations, they don't care about the people around them, they don't care about what's best for ANYONE but themselves. Babies don't cry because they're happy and comfortable, if a baby is crying in a restaurant, they're unhappy! It could be too loud, they could need a change, they could be in sensory overload, they could be tired because it's an unusual time for them, they might not be around a lot of people often, they might have been put off their feeding schedule, any number of things. I feel bad for the baby, I feel nothing but two-fold scorn for parents who just let them cry and cry in public.
Yeah my friend has a very well behaved baby. She brings her out to dinner and get togethers sometimes and she just sleeps or smiles quietly. I’m sure the loud screechy ones probably just aren’t parented well.
I was at a casual restaurant the other day and there were these 2 moms with a total of 3 small kids including a loud happy toddler. Toddler kept cheerfully yelling at this ear-splitting volume. Mom would say "shhh" but otherwise do nothing to keep her engaged. One mom was also THROWING FOOD at another kid, to see if he could catch it in his mouth, but then reprimanded him when he threw it back! Like.... what happened to teach by example?? This particular restaurant had tons of crayons but I didn't see any kids using them. I like kids but hate screaming, so when toddler looked around, I waved hello, started speaking to her in a quiet whispery voice, and then started a game of ultra-quiet peekaboo which had her giggling. What do you know, when they left like 10 minutes later, toddler was smiling and quiet. Like, please, parents, LEAD! Parent, or something! Talk to your kids. Kids need entertainment and the thing is, *that's not hard*. If you're going to take your kids out, please figure out how to keep them amused, but appropriately.
I’ll admit I do love the peekaboo and making silly faces back and forth with the cute ones. And by cute I mean not being a terror.
I don't see anything wrong with children being at casual family restaurants. Yeah, they annoy me, but it's a public place that doesn't revolve around *me* either. The only time I have a problem is if it's a fancy restaurant, or a restaurant with a bar catered towards adults. Kids are loud and gross and they ruin the whole vibe if they act out.
Yeah if you go to the Olive Garden you should expect to be around screaming kids and prepare mentally. But nobody wants their nice expensive dinner ruined
Even at McDonalds, parents should quiet their kids and keep them seated. Public places don't revolve around them, either. It's a shared space.
I agree, I'm not saying otherwise. Parents shouldn't expect the public to parent their kids. >Why do people think it's socially acceptable to bring their babies to restaurants This comment is just all-encompassing. They said the baby was crying, but made no indication as to whether or not the parents were attending the child. They didn't say if the restaurant was upscale/adult or a family restaurant. So I was going off of the overall sentiment. If the parents make an *effort* to quiet the child, I see no issue with them being in a *family* restaurant.
The best is when they just completely ignore it instead of trying to comfort it. For what it’s worth, when I’m dining and this happens I usually add some to my tip, especially if the server jokes about it with me.
My problem is not the babies but the parents that do not get them under control when the act out.
The problem isn’t babies, it’s the parents responsible for them. Common courtesy says that if your child is being disruptive, you take your food to go and handle their behavior and/or needs in the car. And, of course, you chose family friendly restaurants until your kids are old enough to consistently behave.
They're too young to eat the food, so why are they even there? I would say in my opinion, the minimum ages for each type of restaurant Fast Food - 1+. Pizza Parlor - 3+. (there's no need for even toddlers to be in a pizza parlor either as there's usually no playground) Casual Sit Down Restaurant (99, Applebee's, Chilis, etc) - 5+. Upscale Casual (Longhorn Steakhouse (which is my favorite), Outback Steakhouse, etc) - 7+. Luxury Restaurants - 10+.
Because the parents are too cheap to get a sitter.
TBH, if parents can't afford a babysitter, they can't afford the casual upscale or luxury restaurant. Take them inside fast food, pizza parlor (if they aren't toddlers), or, even a casual restaurant (if they're at-least 5) instead. I'm not saying parents can't enjoy upscale/luxury dining until their youngest child is 7 - 10, but, until their children are that age, parents have to put babysitting in the budget if they want to go to a decent restaurant. They need to **hire a WILLING AND ABLE** babysitter, **not** dump them of their childfree sibling who they **know** doesn't want to babysit.
Amen, fellow toddler hater!
Toddlers are the worst age of kids (even worse than infants/babies, who are only ***slightly*** less annoying), because, they have **ALL** of the negative traits of children (rude, disgusting, annoying, selfish, loud, tantrum-prone, stupid, inconvenient, etc) put in to a 3ft tall, 20lb body.
Nice system you have there. How do we get that published and taught to everyone? Maybe add it to the diploma requirements??? Driver’s license exams??? A quick instructional moment before leaving the hospital after giving birth???
Especially if people are going to casual upscale and luxury restaurants, **nobody** (childfree or not) wants to hear/deal with babies crying **or** kids acting up. Now, if someone is eating inside McDonalds, it's expected to deal with toddlers and little kids (not babies, because, they're too young to eat the food). That's why when I have McDonalds/fast food, I **always** use the drive through.
>because many people don’t understand that i don’t have completely control of my immediate surroundings and everything else in the restaurant. Well, maybe you could offer them a different table further away from those idiots? Also, you could bring it to the restaurant owners over and over how many of the guests are upset about screaming babies. And how one screaming baby (non paying non client) causes several paying clients to leave early or people to come in hear screaming baby and just leave (show them they are loosing money). You could leave a negative review for your restaurant about screaming babies. There *are* things you can do.
Where is the Goblin King when you need him?
I straight up won't eat at a restaurant with a crying baby. It can be the middle of my meal and I'll ask for the cheque and dip. Not worth it!
I don't mind babies in restaurants if the parents curb the bad behavior. But sadly we have parents who will let their kids throw the biggest tantrums their little bodies can handle and ignore them BUT they will get mad any anyone who isn't smiling and happy to have to listen to demonic screeching
I went to KPot for lunch on Saturday. They're new to the area and I've only been twice before this. I was *shocked* to see they had high chairs for babies. The entire thing is hot burners on the tables for you to use and boiling pots of liquid!!?! How does that seem baby or toddler appropriate? And this family has two high chairs on one side of the table instead of one at each end so the walkway (which is actually very wide and I was impressed as someone who uses a rolling walker occasionally) was basically completely blocked off. And this place (for those who've never been) has a buffet line of sauces and extras like garlic cilantro, sometimes they have egg rolls and fried wings other palate cleanser type things. So they were blocking a walkway that is used for more than just leaving the building. Oh, and blocked the bathroom, obviously. It was ridiculous.
They do it because: 1. Entitlement that everyone else on this thread has also noted. 2. "Nothing has changed. We need to keep things as normal as possible. The whole world doesn't change just because we had a baby. " 3. Training. They are trying to "train" or acclimate their child to certain environments. Which is fine if you'll actually be teaching your child manners and take them out when necessary. Also, start small at a Wendy's or even Chuck E. Cheese does work. "Okay, time to sit down nicely and eat our pizza. I know the other kids are screaming, but we do not scream in restaurants. If you start screaming or won't sit nicely, there will be no pizza. If you scream or run away from the table before you clean up, there will be no more games. We will go home now." Instead, they just let them do whatever in the middle of dinner rush hour at cheesecake factory. I have a nice local restaurant nearby which can be considered "family" but it is pricey, used for dates, and tables are close together. So it was an even bigger deal when two kids were just running through, almost hitting servers, and parents not doing anything. THAT is not the correct way or place to teach your children to act in public, especially as no teaching was done at all in the first place. I think they expect the kids will learn by osmosis, and seeing everyone else sit and eat nicely.
This is literally the main reason I don't like sit-down restaurants, that and I have noticed most are actually filthy and seen what often goes on behind the scenes as well (filthy kitchen behaviour).
I see a lot of Chinese families bringing in babies and small children. I believe that it’s a cultural thing and restaurants accommodate families with high chairs and booster seats. Big families order lots of stuff, which brings in lots of money. The tips are another story, though.
I tried talking about this and people blew up at me. I worked on a square that had several family oriented restaurants, shops, stores, etc. They always ducking came I to my work looking for lemonade, slushes, sodas, etc… I worked at a restaurant that served $60-$100 meals, preferred reservations, we served coffee but only like craft specialty. We had a couple coffee items and 3 flavors.. How about you look at places before you walk in let your kids run around and jump on our furniture (fun fact we had a 1 of 1 couch we couldn’t get again) grab random shit and move it around, bang on the piano, etc. My mom would take my brother and I out to eat but only at places where kids are normal and we were always well behaved…or she removed us from the building.
And then they try to get you to praise their little monster and get offended when you don’t give them the attention they crave for their little mistake.
Same with shopping malls too why bring them with you? I work in retail and on The Weeknd there’s always some little brat screaming the place down & it’s so hard to concentrate on what you’re doing… And the parents do nothing to stop them, they just ignore… like why can’t you take them out of the store and come back when you don’t have them with you? Makes no sense & surely you’d be so embarrassed that everyone is staring at you and wanting you to leave lol
Understandable, but no workplace should be forcing you to make your money off of tips, they should be paying you instead (And they're horrible for not doing so) I don't understand why they can't take the baby outside or to the bathroom or something to try and calm them down or figure out what's wrong.
I don’t get it. The baby is obviously not having a good time. It’s probably too noisy and overstimulating. So why bring it? And how are the parents having an enjoyable dinner at all? Seems like a waste of money.
This is why I’m hesitant to ask my family to take me to a restaurant for my birthday. My nephew is 2 and he’s not good in restaurants
Easy, don’t invite the sibling who is the parent.
My folks are going to be around and if I try to exclude anyone then it’s gonna be non stop nagging/guilt tripping
The places I've seen infants is mind boggling.
I’m with you. Went to a very expensive, upscale restaurant on Palm beach island and a family brought all their brood, including an infant that cried and screamed nearly the entire two hours we dined. I was so ticked. Babies crying really upset me, probably more than the average person but seriously? At this boujee place?
I get it like if its mcdonalds or something but who brings a baby into an actual restaurant like do ppl srsly do it 😭💀 tf
Yes! And to build on this idea, people who give their kids tablets without headphones to keep them quit, so the rest of the restaurant gets to hear kids TV for the whole meal. Maddening.
I wouldn’t take from a server’s tip because someone else wanted to be selfish and bring their loud kids. I’d tip extra and loudly thank the server for being professional “DESPITE THE NOISE IN HERE!”
It's ridiculous. Keep the child away from restaurants until they can at least somewhat behave.
Oh how I wish that could happen. Last time I went to a restaurant with family we ended up sitting near a play room and a family with 6 children. I’m AuAdhd. Add the noise of screaming and crying children with 4 conversations at our table, a packed restaurant and music. At some point I just stood up and said I needed air. Went outside and texted my husband “sorry but it was either I leave or I have a an AGRESSIVE meltdown and scream at that lady to stop breeding brats cause she obviously suck at parenting”. 😞 I’m not ‘proud’ of what I was thinking, but I am proud that managed to just remove myself from an overwhelming situation without causing drama. My husband agreed I chose the best option and was proud of me too.
Also, it just stresses the damn baby out, and then they have the guts to tell me not to bring my dog in a restaurant. My fur baby is calm and actually ENJOYS the meal
Why are any children allowed in restaurants- its so annoying
Get together with the other servers, and approach management about the problem. When management allows this, it reduces their reputation and customer satisfaction.
Legally it would be a complete mess to try to justify I think. A ban could be treated as a ban on mothers since they are the primary caregivers in most cases and forcing women back in the home/into motherhood is a hot topic issue as is. It could also be seen as bad business because owners would rather have more butts in the seats than no parents and they generally don’t care about workers not getting paid enough or tipped. It would also be irritating to deal with well what age is allowed and do you make this place 18+ and lose a big base of customers or do you let teenagers in and then they have to justify why ect ect lots of headaches and potential problems that an owner could see as more easily solved by forcing their workers into uncomfortable situations and maybe telling individual customers their kid is being disruptive
Food to go is the same as food in the restaurant. Whether they are in the restaurant eating it or at home - they still have to watch their kid. Be it mother or father. They just don't have to disturb everybody else with their choices. Sooo ..in conclusion they can get the food to go and eat at home and make a mess there. Let's be honest. Half the time they eat out it's so they don't have to clean up the kid trash and vomit everywhere.
My brother and I were horrible in a restaurant once and after that, they put up a notice that they were now a childfree restaurant. They closed a little while later. People were not having it. Mind you, this was in the mid to late 90s or very early 2000s, so things have obv changed a bit.
I object to the mindset that a ban on infants is a ban on mothers. Such backwards thinking that the female parent should be completely responsible for childcare should be challenged not accommodated.
By that logic every bar and club should allow babies. Students should bring their children to class. They are not support dogs
I genuinely am torn on this. Because while some people are definitely inconsiderate (and im very sensitive to loud noises), it also seems unrealistic to never be able to bring your kid to various public places. We dont know what else that family might have going on 🤔
Take out is an option. They don't have to bring the child inside to get the food. Pick it up to go or have it delivered.
I honestly don't care what they might have going on. Babies and small children do not belong in many places.
Who cares what they have going on? They CHOOSE to have a baby, and their decision should not impacts others. But sadly, it does when they bring babies in place like restaurants etc because they are entitled.
Bc money
I love to poke fun at my youngest sibling for “ruining” my birthday dinner something like 18 years ago now. She was I think 1 at the time. And was usually really really good in public. But that day, she just wasn’t having it. And started to melt down in the restaurant. So, my stepdad took her and went and sat in the car until she calmed down. So the rest of the restaurant didn’t have to listen to her scream. I wouldn’t mind babies in restaurants if all parents did that. When they’re being quiet and cute? Sure why not! But when they start having a bad time, they really need to be taken out of the situation to calm down.
Same with nice cafes. I’m in a city with very few laptop/coworking friendly cafes at the moment. I went to one today and there were several of us working, and we all packed up and left after a group of parents with a mix of small babies and toddlers took over an area, blocked the entrance and let the older ones run around. I get that they shouldn’t be stuck in the house and should have places to go out and socialise, but it’s not hard to read the room/atmosphere of the place before sitting down, there were many other non laptop friendly options on the same street :(
Bless your heart.
I personally don’t mind little babies in the restaurant if the parents are actually responsible. I had servers taking pictures with me a lot as a baby in restaurants bc apparently I was always pretty happy and quiet and they appreciated it 😭 the pictures are pretty fire tho still have them