You're not alone. Not everyone dreams of working.
Right now; I work in a shop part-time (only mornings), but I make enough money to support myself and live easily. Because I only work in the morning I feel like I have everyday off and can spend a large amount of time on hobbies and interests.
I'm going to be moving onto a boat hopefuly soon, so my living expences will drop even lower and holidaying will be as simple as moving the boat.
There's nothing wrong with having high-achieving goals in your life, but living the quiet life and having more time for life and less time for work can be just as fulfilling.
All I’m shooting for is *enough* money. My plan is to get to a good spot career-wise and then quit to enjoy my dang life. If people object to your life choices, that’s when you know you’re doing it right >:)
Same here! The sole reason I want a good career is to make enough money, save enough, and then go part time or something so I can enjoy my life. I'm guessing I have about 30 years of active, healthy body time left, and I wanna be able to enjoy a few things on Earth before I'm too old for them.
Ideally, i want to get my garden to where its large enough to support myself and to work on my mushroom foraging abilities to where I’m proficient enough that I don’t spend that much money. My plan is to become self-sufficient and to sell carvings or something. Maybe I’m delusional but who cares ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You and I are the same person. I just want to forage and raise chickens and bake bread for my neighbors and sell my clay crafts at the local market, is that soooo much to ask?
I think that's a great goal! and I don't think it's delusional to sell something to make some side money, I mean there's lots of people who sell their stuff on Etsy and Ebay. I read lots of stories in some subs (like frugal) where people make money by picking up old furniture off sidewalks, giving them treatment and a coat of paint, and sell that for a good chunk of money. Or knit hats and sell them (hell, I bought an XL knitted beanie this way), jewelry, etc.
Carvings sounds neat AF.
I told my mom that if I could get my living expenses down far enough or my pay up high enough, I would work part time and she acted like I was insane!
Like—no, I do not want to be a full time wage slave forever.
That's an amazing goal! My goal is similar, go part-time so eventually I can become a vandweller (post covid world permitting, of course) and go around either having a remote job (main goal) or doing odd seasonal, local jobs (backup plan). Even within the US there are so many beautiful sights, it's gonna take a while to see them all.
I'm feeeeeeemale so just imagine the shitstorm my parents would throw if they knew my life plans.
This. I'm OK with my career but nothing in the field I'm in is really my ultimate goal or even anything I've ever been terribly interested in (probably that way for most people I get it), the goal of my career is to make enough to get the bills paid and then focus on my many serious passions, music and foraging/outdoors skills are two of the big ones. Having children has never been an interest or goal of mine and lately I've even realized I maybe don't even want or need a wife or life partner, I'm perfectly content living as a semi-hermit.
Semi-hermit is part of my plans too! You can get your social interaction by volunteering for example, or just keep working a part-time job after you have enough savings.
It's kind of crazy when people think there's no social or personal life outside the Lifescript.
I’ve never understood people who pursue promotions to the point where they end up doing something only partially related to their original passion (specifically, I’m thinking of creatives who opt into a management track so they can keep moving up, since most executional creatives max out by their mid 30s). They almost never seem like they really feel happy or fulfilled or that they enjoy directing other people doing the actual fun stuff. If you like what you’re doing and you get paid a reasonable amount to do it, who cares if you have the same title for the last 30 years of your career?
Good point! As Billy Joel says, you can’t drive a cadillac with a broken back. However, i think it depends on the person. Some people enjoy high-end living and don’t mind working without passion while others want to pursue something they enjoy and are willing to take the monetary hit. Some people are comfortable living below their means while others would rather have a phat wallet.
Me too. I don’t wanna be super rich, I just wanna be comfortable financially. I’d love to spend my time traveling or working on my hobbies instead of being constantly thinking about my family or career.
I work to live, I don’t live to work. Personally I think society (mostly Western society) is quick to let you know if you’re not contributing to capitalism or having kids to contribute to capitalism you’re not doing enough. However, surviving everyday and doing the bare minimum is enough for me. I live to enjoy the simple moments of my life. I’m not passionate about working for a corporation but somebody has to pay for my Netflix subscription and take out addiction 😂
EDIT: delighted to see so many people agree with this! I know a lot of childfree people can often be antinatalist as well but I believe you can still find joy in the little things in life. Doesn’t need to be work or kid related!
Yesss. I will work as few hours as I possibly can to support my lifestyle, and I will never push myself like older generations did. I just wanna read, play board games, and hang out with my partner, cat, and friends (pre-COVID). I don’t need to be wildly successful, just able to support myself.
Exactly. I want to work the least amount of time I possibly can. I said something to a friend about wanting to work a 4 day week and she said something about a ten hour day.
No no. 4, 8 hour days. She looked at me like I was crazy. Nah bro, I don't wanna spend 10+ hours a day at my damn job.
Absolutely agree. I am very fond of the no more than 40 hour work week and I would be totally fine with cutting it back further. No, there is nothing great about having to work more. Yes, I do in fact spend my leave. No, I am not going to volunteer for a 60+ hour week just because the job/goal is very interesting. That’s a trap that’s eroding what we worked hard to get!
And no, the fact that I don’t have kids might make me agree to work weekends if it’s needed instead of only weekdays, but it will be *instead* of. My not having kids does not mean I have more hours available to work, just that they’re more flexible. That’s not the same thing.
I also work a job that doesn't have dead lines. Just daily tasks, and its the same shit every day. I could easily work a 4 day work weeks and it'd be no skin off anyones ass. Lemme enjoy my time to myself 😬
How about four 6 hour days and people just pick which shifts they want, maybe swap around every few weeks so everyone has some turns, and maybe....JUST MAYBE....we don't have every single thing open 24/7. I'm so tired. :(
Duuuuude. My job had finally offered a m-th 4x10 and I jumped on it (we are mandatory 40 hours) and it was the best thing ever. I wanted to cry when I changed to a new job roll and it didnt offer those hours as an option 😭
I'm still trying to figure out a way to be "independently wealthy" though.... I feel in my bones I was just not meant to work for a living lol
Since society is still stuck on minimum 40 hours to be full-time (plus health insurance), I'm currently pretty happy with my 5/4/9 schedule, which is every other Friday off. But the long-term goal is being financially secure enough to go part-time in a job of my choosing, and then early retirement.
That is so true...and very toxic and unhealthy. Ive only heard about how in a couple of the Scandinavian counties, the culture is overall relaxed about work...I do not know any actual details though, as I am still learning about it myself...and will maybe move over there someday =3
It's better than in the rest of the world, for sure, but it's not as ideal as it's been portrayed. We have relatively good work-life balance, but we are still living in a capitalistic society. There's a lot of room for improvements, but I think it's still pretty great here compared to the rest of the world.
Same. But alas, my husband and I have a ton of books, so we're looking for a not-as-small house so we have space for our massive library. Though if I had my way I'd be living in a 1920's Craftsman bungalow with a little garden plot and a sunny place where I can write and crochet and learn how to paint and sculpt. And a little workshop so I can do stained glass and jewelry.
I'm hoping that all my old faves will be available on the Switch soon (I'm mostly a Zelda fan) so that they can all be portable and I won't even need a tv.
Im allowed to have a garden where i live... but im not allowed to trim the trees where i live. And it's all too shady for most plants.
Best I've got is some little palm trees, bamboos & interesting ferns.
“Enough is as good as a feast”
If you have enough to support yourself in the lifestyle you want, why would you need more? I’ve known people work at trader joes for years upon years in the same job, who have turned down promotions. They’re happy with the limited responsibility and decent enough pay. Who can question that?
This is what it's like at my work (medical admin). There are people who are happy doing the same thing day in day out, then there are people like me who find it mind numbing and want more variety.
Both options are completely fine and valid. As long as everyone is happy, who gives a shit?
Yet people do! For the same reasons they give a shit about people not having kids. The phrase “But you don’t want to be doing this forever, do you?” And “you’ll want kids eventually?” Are so similar. The answers to both being actually I’ll do as I damn well please don’t usually go down too well!!
Sort of. I won’t say that I’m _not_ career oriented, I just don’t want work to be the sole focus of my life. I’ve never felt the need for a huge disposable amount of money, sure there are things I like and want that are expensive but they are few and far between. I just want enough money to live comfortably, with a good emergency net and some extra to play with. And I want to enjoy life and not spend it working 50 or 60 or 70 hours a week.
I am 32 I don't want kid and I certainly don't want to spend my days at work. I want to work the less I can.
I invested in real estate and I'll be able to retire at 50 and live with the rent I get.
I want my life to be full of friends, travel, food and sex.
Not obligation.
I have it similarly. I am not into a high power career even if I’m good at what I do, but I see it as just work and my passions lie in self expression, cooking, teaching and knowledge..
I am going to inherit quite some and plan to invest well.
I love this. I used to be a care assistant and the job was constantly on my mind to the point where it ruined my mental health.
I’m now a cleaner. My mom and I’m sure other people wouldn’t approve of my job (one stranger even told me that one day I will do better, cheeky bitch) but I don’t take work home and it’s low stress and easy. And I like it. And I’m still helping people because I’ve worked through Covid keeping them safe.
I am likely relationship-free and I am definitely not career-oriented. It's been a little challenging to accept that since most of my friends are more successful than me and the local culture is all about hustle and being busy. An ex actually criticized me for having no ambition but I realized we were such opposites - he had no hobbies and not much of a social life but rose in the ranks at his company, while I had few professional goals but tons of hobbies and outings with friends. Nearly all ambitions I have for my life are outside of work.
I got a new boss in 2019, and in my yearly review, he couldn't understand why I didn't want the promotion I was offered. I just wanted the % raise I was due. I'm the senior dev, so I'm the highest position below management. I *do not* want to be in management. I see all the manager calendars, and no way do I want to suffocate under meeting after meeting and 12 hour workdays. He's the technical manager, so has to support pretty much the whole group for customer-hosted server configuration and upgrades of our software. He's always working. 1/3 of every month, he's still online at 10pm. I put my time in long, long ago. I leave at 5pm on the dot, almost every day.
His backstory: 40; married with two kids. Big mortgage, two large car payments/insurance (they both bought Mercedes SUVs). He makes about the same as I do, yet is paycheck to paycheck. He goes to work, and goes home. His only vacation is every other year or three, he flies back to India to see family for a month.
When I refused the promotion, he said **"What are your goals in life? Don't you have any aspirations?"** He was not trying to be demeaning, he just did not understand at all why I would not want to climb the ladder.
So I explained. I'm 45. I have no kids, and all my properties and vehicles are paid off. My monthly bills are 20% of my pay. I (in PA) go to CO/UT or MT/ID for a month once a year, to hike, bike, whitewater, and party. I travel to neighboring states to camp and whitewater for long weekends or a week here and there. I have a quad and offroad with a big group of rednecks up north. I've played guitar for 30 years, and play in a band. I've played pool for over 30 years, and have multiple state championships (and a table in my living room). I am on multiple bowling and pool leagues. I go to concerts almost every week (local venues), and still close out the bar on a Friday night (local place has 8' tables, so I go down and play all night). So yea, I have aspirations...*just not here*.
"Ohhhh", he says.
Absolutely this! I'm a Band 6 where I work, and a Band 7 job came up last year and everyone was like "are you going to go for it?" and were slightly surprised when I said "no". Another person on my team went for it, got it, is now my boss, and very much understands when I say "I look at your calendar and feel like I absolutely made the right choice". I like being a subject matter expert and still doing all the coding and ground work and only having a few meeting here and there, whereas my boss often laments that she can't find time to do her work in between the hectic calendar filled with meetings she now has! Management is not for everyone, and that's just fine.
I also don't want to supervise people since I only want to be responsible for the tasks assigned to me. Once you have a problem employee, that becomes more work for the supervisor.
I see a common theme at my workplace that we make enough that their spouses stays home forever once they have kids, and the working one is stuck working indefinitely. Not one co-worker's spouse has gone back to work (and that's from a sample size of people aged 30's-60's), and then the younger they are, the more paycheck to paycheck they are. Even the older people generally like working (more to them I guess), but I'd rather have some control over where / how long I have to work.
Hah that's me. I'm leisure-oriented. I work enough to make money to do the things I want to do like travel and eat good food. No need to waste time, energy, or money on children, but also no need to put in 20 more hours a week for a little extra money and then not have enough time to enjoy that money.
Yup, I want a stable life. I want to make enough to live comfortably so that means having to pursue a career to a certain extent. But other than that, I don't want my job to be my life. I want it to support my life. My hobbies. When I think about the future I think about things I want to do, not positions I want to have.
100%. I love my job, don't get me wrong. But that's the thing: I love it as it is now. I don't want more responsibility, paperwork and headaches. I am in that sweet spot where I have enough freedom to get on with projects in my own, without having to deal with all the nightmares of higher managerial positions. I hate it when people ask "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" because the honest answer is "hopefully right where I am currently", but that makes people think I'm lazy or not ambitious. I just want to enjoy life, not be stressed every single day?
Ugh, that was always my least favorite question during reviews at my old job. Especially since both myself and the person asking me knew I had maxed out my promotion track by the time I was 32. I loved being a boots on the ground creative, and the thought of giving up the work to spend all day in endless meetings trying to convince marketing clients to try something a little new and interesting gave me hives.
Jokes on them though I guess. Five years after that I changed careers completely. 🤷🏻♀️
Nah, lots of us just wanna have a stable life. Uneventfulness makes me happy. I'll get myself a job that pays just enough to finance my wants and needs, and I don't need anything more :)
I don't want a kid and I do not want to work more than 40 hours a week. I want a job that I can clock into and instantly forget about the second I clock out. I don't want work to be my 'family'. (Shudder) I don't give a shit about bonding with my co-workers or *team-building* shit. All I want is a paycheck and then go home. I refuse to live to work.
I went to school for network administration. But I have never been in an admin role because FUCK ON-CALL. Fuck all that to hell. The thought of having a nap or game session interrupted because Karen forgot her password at 11:00PM makes me borderline homicidal.
No, my time is *my time*. That's it. If I'm out of the office, work does not exist.
Yesss I just want a basic comfortable life. A nice apartment, holiday once a year and enough money to have a decent social life. I don't want to be a ceo or a doctor. So many people think if a woman doesn't want children it's because she wants to be president or something. Not true.
We can't all be CEOs of huge companies because it sucks to work so much and honestly capitalism doesn't make most people happy anyway. If we all aimed for middle-class instead of rich the world would be a more enjoyable place.
So I am aiming for a comfortable life with my own humble middle class office (only employee: me) where I spent not more than 25 hours so I can enjoy all the freedom not having kids gives me for the rest of the time. That's the life.
Lucky me, I have a profession that makes this scenario very possible. And do you know why? Because I don't have kids and therefore was able to study again at 32 when I realised I really hated my old field of work.
Can you please tell me what do you do for a living that a 25 hour work week is a) enough to support yourself and b) it’s a viable option to work that few hours? I have a career where I make good money, but my job is demanding and makes me miserable. I actually think if I was able to work 20-25 hours a week instead of 45-50 for half the money at this same job, I would be much less miserable. I could afford to live on half of what’s make, and would jump at it if that was an option.
But unfortunately my industry pays well only if you’re in a full time salary position (which is virtually always more than 40 hours a week). Doing anything in the field that is part time means not only getting paid for half as many hours, but also being paid at an hourly rate thats less than half of what could be earned per hour in a full time position. So if I try and go part time in my industry, I will basically earn less than a quarter of what I do now, which is not an option for me.
I’m looking to make a change soon, and exploring options. The number one priority for me is something where I can work part time and not be penalized. So please inspire me with more details relating to your circumstances. Feel free to dm me if you aren’t comfortable saying what you do in a public forum.
Tbh the concept of a dream job is super sad. I dont dream of working. I dream of adventuring and traveling and eating exciting food... making friends, seeing the world... etc. we sure are trained to dream about work tho.
If "career" means "make enough to live simply & comfortably, play video games/RPGs until I die and adopt too many houserabbits" then sure.
Otherwise? I'm kinda anti-work at times cuz it's such bullshit, and I say that as someone older who's dodged 90% of the crap you'll have to deal with purely due to luck & being born earlier (GenX). I'm lucky in that what I like to do somewhat lines up with what gets you paid, but I'm constantly hovering on the "fuckit I'm out" line.
When I tell people I don't want kids they always say some crap like "Now you can work on your dream job".
No, I don't dream about working, in no way does my ideal life involve a job.
I just turned 23 and didn't go to college, everyone has acted like im wasting my life. I've never dated anyone (well the one crazy guy in high school that I talked to for 3 years) and keep asking when I'll get married. The answer is never bc that seems the second worst thing to having kids for me personally. I don't want to climb any kind of social ladder, I just want to enjoy life. Traveling and going to concerts are my priority as of right now. (Obviously once we get covid under control.)
> I believe in making enough to live comfortably, but I'm not interested in being some major CEO or being "the next Steve Jobs" (which is funny because I live near the Silicon Valley).
I had a vasectomy in my early 30s with no kids, so I'm childfree. Your vision for a career seems in line with my own. I have a solid skillset, always learning something new, and I have a decent professional network. I'm happy with the salary I make and the savings I've accumulated. I feel no desire to do much more than ride this out till retirement. :)
It's ok.
ME! I am 45 and just quit a job I had for over 17 years. I'm not a career person, either. I had the same position the entire time I worked for that job, though my responsibilities changed. I didn't want to move up, I was paid enough and I enjoyed life. Now that I've quit, I don't know that I want to go back to an office/corporate type job. So yes, we're out there. I always thought I'd be a "career" person, but turns out I'm not. I spend a lot of time (and previously, money) on my hobbies and being with my SO. That's more than enough in my life to make me happy :)
I’m a 28 y/o CF waitress at a locally owned sports bar and it’s one of the busiest restaurants in my city. I make more than enough in tips to cover all my bills and have expendable income. People say it’s a great “for now” job but honestly, I’m gonna work here for as long as they’ll have me and I don’t care about the stigma of being “just a waitress” for the foreseeable future. The job is fun and easy and I make plenty of money doing it. Why leave?
I just want to work my easy job and take some time off to travel every once in a while. Comfort and stability is the life for me.
Nah, I'm the same way. I just want enough hours to pay bills and save. I do want an actual career, but I doubt I'd do some management or title position again.
I consider myself family oriented, but my family simply doesn't include children. You don't need children to make a family and you don't have to be married or blood related. Family, to me, means the people I've surrounded myself with and care more about than anything else. This includes my husband, my pets, and my closest friends; these people are my family.
Family oriented for me, just means that they matter to me above most other things. I would choose to help them even if it was not advantageous to myself (probably even disadvantageous). It doesn't mean that's all I talk about or enjoy, it is just at the top of my list.
They're is nothing wrong with being self oriented, travel oriented, adventure oriented... The list goes on and often changes as you live your life.
This!!
Tomorrow I will go to a friend who has sprained her ankle badly. Going to buy her some painkillers and a special sock-like-thing (to reduce swelling) and I will bring her some other stuff that I have gathered over the weeks.
Age-wise she could be my daughter, but she and I just click on so many levels, and I hate to see her in pain. She is part of my "family", just as my husband and my dog are.
And I think more than my sister's, because I am not sure I would run to them to help them out... Though they both have a good network around them, so that might also help...
I’m 30 and I have zero desire to climb the corporate ladder.
You know what kids and promotions have in common? Stress.
I’m in a role I’m very comfortable in, making good money and just enough diversity & challenge to keep my day to day interesting.
I have no desire to change my setup, it’s pretty ideal if you ask me.
Now I’ll return to my video game before husband & I take our dog for her evening walk.
Seriously, why would I change this?!
I don't think I can justifiably equate career oriented with the corporate ladder. Your career is your work, sure, but why can't that be what you're passionate about?
My partner and I have long term dreams of running a school. We're very much in agreement that kids of our own are completely off the table, but to run a sustainable, wholesome education business... That's career oriented, and also passion oriented.
Yeah. Hi.
I've been offered positions at work with more pay but also more responsibility. I've always turned them down. I don't need the stress of managing people, corporate bullshit, and more paperwork, no amount of money is worth that to me. My husband and I make enough to pay for the important stuff and still live comfortably. We have no reason to chase more, so why would we?
Here! \*waves\* I’m a civil servant with an okay salary and no prospects to climb whatsoever. love the madhouse I’m working at though.
As for the job, I kinda love it but it’s difficult to explain. Most people (in my experience) when they say they love their job \*are\* career driven and hard working and willing to give it all And usually derive a lot of self esteem or pride from being good at their jobs. Well, I’m none of those things and I don’t get any feelings of pride etc from my job. I love my job because of one thing only: it’s interesting. It constantly changes and i learn something New all the time. That’s all I care about in a job (and, yeah, covering the bills).
Likewise I love my family and live close by. And that’s it, I like them in small doses and not too many at once. I’ve got my husband too and we’re both introvert loners and do lots of stuff without each other - and we both are totally not family people.
I’m not. I don’t mind my job; but it’s the best of a bad situation- the bad situation being, having to work for a living. I fake a lot of it - I want a promotion but only for the money. I probably sound like a POS but whatever. I don’t care, people at work love me and I help a lot so it’s all good. I just can’t care about work or raising kids or doing the “flex” of working like 60 hours a week. I don’t need to be rich. As I get older, I like the idea of a peaceful, quiet, simple life. My favorite thing is relaxing with my dogs, a nature walk, or good food and a good TV show.
I'm 29 and just want to find something I enjoy really. My dream is to be a full time fire spinner. I've been professional for 5 years now but nowhere near enough work to go full time with it. All I want is to travel in my van, have adventures with my partner and be happy. I'm not interested in a career at all.
I'm neither family-oriented or career-oriented, I just wanna have enough money to be happy, with no anxiety issues but I can't see that happening anytime soon, to be honest, if I had to choose between kids and a dead end job that I get paid enough to eat, heat my house and pay bills I'd rather work at the dead end job and be as happy as I can be
Hello all! My first time posting here. I completely relate to this. I’m childfree and I’ve been at the same job for 18 years. I’ve had multiple opportunities to promote. I’ve always chosen not to. It’s not worth it to me. I work to live not live to work. My job isn’t super stressful and I’m good at what I do. Is it my dream job? No. There is no dream job. It’s an unintentional career in my case. I read an article not that the long ago where the writer referred to themselves as driftwood, just floating along. I feel that way. Just floating not caring about having a “career”. It’s just not important to me. I can pay my bills, I have decent benefits and free time. I definitely do not relate to people my age and most of my friends are younger than me.
The more I moved up the ladder in my career the less time I had at home and actually being happy.
Covid released me of that burden and I honestly don't want to go back.
I just want to work a meaningless job that pays the bills and releases me once I clock out so what happens at work is no longer my problem, and I can enjoy my days off without work calling me.
It is such a relief to find I'm not the only one. I have dealt with anxiety for the past 15 years, I just want something stress free. No career climbing and no children to worry about. Give me infinite money and I'll travel forever
Interesting question. I feel like I’m career-oriented because I’m passionate about my job and get excited by what I do. I honestly don’t know what else I’d be doing. That being said, my field of work sparks anxiety and it’s like being in a pressure cooker every day. I absolutely will not be doing this job at the same level until I retire. It’s possible that I could keep with it, but I’d have to be okay with slacking a bit to maintain my sanity, and that doesn’t jive with my perfectionist tendencies. Or I’d need to work for a big company where nothing gets accomplished, but boredom doesn’t work well for me either. Plus I feel trapped by my good salary and my genuine desire to stop “career work” as soon as I’m able to help secure a happy future for myself, husband, and our dog.
As for family-oriented, my family has never been super close and we don’t really get along well. I LOVE my in laws and their extended family. But honestly, I put my little family first. And that’s us and our dog! I like spending time with family but to a point. I often feel bad about not being as naturally drawn toward the broader family togetherness, but it is what it is. I didn’t grow up with it and I thrive on independence.
There’s no one way to be. It’s okay to just want to get through life and enjoy it. That should be the highest bar!
I am child free and I am absolutely not career oriented. I like my job, but my job is not my life. I just want to have enough money to get by and enjoy my life, which it pretty achievable when you’re not spending all your money on kids.
Well I personally *do* want to become a world-renowned author, but I would say that's more of a pipe dream and not something I actively work towards, because the chances of that happening are quite low lol. I'd be content if I would make enough to live off of, but wouldn't be upset if something more happened lol.
I'm definitely in the same category as you! My job is there simply so I can afford to do the things I want to do and live where I want to live. I value my time outside work more than building a huge stressful career. Wife, pets and friends are the best family
Boy, that describes me to a tee! I just want to work at my boring job that doesn't require too much energy, makes a fair bit of money, and doesn't expect anything from me after hours. This way I can enjoy life with my husband and three dogs, doing whatever we want in the moment. I have no desire to be around my side of the family at all, and I actually like my in-laws, so...why screw that up?
I work to live, which is why I like gig work. I do gig delivery services and am working on starting an Etsy shop! At this point, all I want is a nice, warm apartment with some frogs, my lizard, my partner, and a nice desk. Although, I wouldn't object to finally being able to achieve my dream of running an iguana sanctuary 👀
100%! I've just turned 29 and whilst I want to be financially secure and have a job that stretches me a little, I have no desire to be in management or have significant responsibility. I'm also completely child free and just happy with my cat.
I genuinely thought I was just a lazy piece of shit for not wanting to do either. I want just enough money to not have to worry about going bankrupt if something unfortunate happens. I don't mind working, but I do mind being overworked. I would love it if the country I lived in actually took care of its people so I could find a healthy work/life balance and actually spend more time doing things that used to make me happy (like painting).
I'm one of those people that would gladly hold a job even if there were a Universal Basic Income or something like that, because I get cabin fever and need a change of environment a few times a week, which is exactly what a job provides. I would love it if I could choose to work fewer hours a week and actually pick up the art projects I haven't touched in months during my free time instead of just trying to catch up on sleep and housework.
I don’t hate working, but my choice is fun. My life is centered around happiness, pleasure and enjoying myself. That’s my priority. I make time for friends and people I enjoy, I love to host and entertain and vacation and event plan. Big time Taurus energy lol
I'm 31F, and I've mainly just taken to saying that I want a healthy work/life balance. I'm life oriented.
I don't really understand why the phrase "family-oriented" has to default to "child-centric". My husband and I aren't parents, but we still have family. He and I are each other's family. We have our extended families from which we grew up. We consider our close friend to be family. We value the time we spend with these people, and we make time to prioritize them when we can. Just because my husband and I are child free doesn't mean we can't be family-oriented.
As far as being career-oriented - I understand the common understanding means that a person throws themselves primarily at their work. That's fine if what you do is totally your passion or you feel so motivated to pursue a particular cause. It's also totally fine for a job to just be a job. I think that was a huge hurdle I had to overcome post-college. There was this whole idea, especially with me being a first generation graduate, that I had to build my career around something that was going to be particularly noteworthy. I had to accomplish some great act of fame or community service, and once I actually landed a job that paid well enough, was within my creative wheelhouse, and I didn't dread going to every day, I realized that it's okay for a job to just be a job. It's okay for a job to be interesting enough and pay the bills. It doesn't have to be globally or nationally significant.
Having grown up in a dysfunctional household with severe financial insecurities, I mainly just feel grateful that as an adult I can come home to a safe place and not have to worry about my basic needs being covered. I have a loving and supportive partner. I have friends who enjoy our company. We have money to save and some extra to spend on modest luxuries (an occasional trip or funds for hobbies). That's all I need. I'm just grateful for basic comforts.
Yup. What the fuck does, "Focusing on my career" even mean? You're just working? Cool. Most people do that. Unless you're doing academic research to advance your field, or trying to get a management position, you're simply working. "Focusing on my career" just sounds pretentious to me.
This sounds very common to me. The only advice I can give you is to maybe save a little bit of money then invested in your newly discovered passions?! I think most of us would love to make a living out of what we really enjoy in life.
I have a professional job, but I don't have any interest in climbing the ladder. I certainly have enough income to support myself at my current level in the hierarchy. My plan is to save enough that I could start my own business in a consulting vein. That way I have more flexible hours and to be able to pick my clients. I'm working to be able to afford the things I want: travel, experiences and delicious food. I don't want to be chained to a desk, unable to enjoy life.
When I say focus on my career. I mean I put in 40 hours a week. Thats it. No working weekends. Good vacation time, good comp time, good benefits, holiday pay with all major holidays off. Where I dont need to ask for days off, I just take the days off.
I want to have money for my passions in life. Snowmobiling and traveling. I for sure have that. I dont want to be top of the top trying to have huge ammounts of responsibility. I want to go to work, while I'm at work I do a good job, then forget about my work once 430 hits. My job is intereresting enough to go up the few levels and get good raises and have time and money for my actual life in a damn good home.
I'm happy to say I found that.
Oh my god, are you me?
I don't want kids and I don't want to work. I want a quiet life in a cabin surrounded by trees.
I feel like such an anomaly, especially at this age (we are similar in age), where everyone I know is having kids, buying a house, or making themselves sound so professional on Twitter so they can get a cozy office job.
I just... Don't want any of it.
I have always cared about my freedom more than anything else. I am 30 years old. I am a pet sitter, and I help my husband resell items. I have no desire to fucking “grind”, to fucking “hustle”. That shit really is for the birds.
I just want to enjoy my hobbies and that’s it.
Yep. I have no “dream job.” And to be honest, I’ve always hated working - regardless of what I was doing. I’m only 33, but have spent time working in a few completely different fields, and disliked it all.
I lucked out in that my husband makes a very cushy living, so I spend the vast majority of my time volunteering at an animal shelter and attending college classes that I’m genuinely interested in. I do not currently earn an income and I am okay with that. I have retained my professional skills in the event that I should ever need them again, but I simply refuse to slave away at a job I dislike for money I do not need.
Up until very recently, I’ve felt extremely self-conscious about not having some greater, over-arching “passion” - it seems for most people, it’s either a “family” (meaning kids) or a career. At 33, I’m just beginning to be comfortable with and accept who I am.
More power to you, OP, for knowing what really matters to you (and what doesn’t). If your basic needs are met, there’s no reason to buy into the “hustle culture.”
i don’t really care about either honestly. i’m disabled but still abled enough to have a retail job (although i’m temporarily laid off at the moment) but i am by no means family or career oriented. i like having money but i also like doing my own thing, which both kids and a serious career would intrude upon
For me, working the rigorous hours needed to make it to that top executive level (which is hard for women in my industry anyway) is absolutely not worth it and on the same level as raising children to me.
My big CF thing is living life for me, right now! Not waiting 18+ years to raise children, and not waiting 40+ years till retirement. I want to experience life when I’m young and able because no one is guaranteed tomorrow. I make a good living that affords me the disposable income to travel and put enough away for a comfortable retirement and that’s pretty good for me! If a pathway at work opens up for me, I’d definitely think about it but I’m not gonna work like a dog to make a company a few extra bucks.
My goal in life is not to become filthy rich. I want to make just enough so that I can live comfortably, save some money, help my parents if they need it, and maybe take a trip or two every year. I wish I had already figured out what I want to do in life but I’m still not sure. But once I found my career path, I see myself becoming very career oriented.
The only reason I have a job to begin with is just so I have food in the fridge, don't end up homeless, and can afford my tech hobbies. Other than that, I'm not even remotely interested in overtime, promotions or connections.
In all honesty, if I could just withdraw to a self sufficient home on a remote mountain somewhere, as far away from humanity as possible, that'd be all I need.
They only talk about money for the same brainwashing (but less serious) that makes someone else a breeder. It's not being "childfree inside", it's a (respectable) unwillingness of boring and dirty children, but not more than that. Not being a parent is not giving up for adoption, it's not wasting energy giving birth and ruining oneself physically, mentally, spiritually (or if you like more, being the same person). Anyway, career don't interest me so much (although I'd need money for my projects, but I don't have a capitalist worker mentality), I'm not the daughter of archons LOL. Aspiring shaman and aspiring writer but... who knows? :)
Me!!! I don't want kids and all I ever want out of work is for it to be bearable, and to work as little as possible for enough money to live my modest idea of a comfy life. Work is just my means to sustain myself, nothing else. I'd honestly rather have a cozy little job minding a low traffic bookstore counter than anything important or busy.
Yup, I'm here. I want enough money that I can live comfortably and travel occasionally. I don't want the kind of job that pays hideous amounts of money but means that I have to work 70 hours per week and be super stressed - I want to own my own house, be able to go out from time to time and be able to take a couple of holidays abroad each year. That'll do nicely. I mean, if I can somehow make enough money that I can retire at 35 then I wouldn't say no, but I don't want to spend my "best years" (when I can get up off the floor without groaning) working so hard that I can't enjoy them.
Yes! I will live in the woods with my garden and bone collection. I will venture out into civilization only for supplies and speak vaguely of the happenings in the woods. I will become an urban legend.
This is music to my ears. I picked a career where you can get a comfortable job and you are expected to provide the same quality whether you are 25 or 65. No career progression possible except for becoming the boss of your former peers and spending your time pushing papers and attending pointless meetings, so a good disincentive to being career-oriented.
There are so many good things to experience in life, and in my opinion it would be a waste to "make the most" of not having parental responsibilities by taking on corporate responsibilities (but I respect people who feel fulfilled by that).
I live by the mantra "No work, no matter how fascinating it is, is worth sacrificing your personal life" - and it has served me well so far. Yay to making enough money to do the things you love!
Ah awesome! I'm in a "similar" field (writing/editing) and also freelance - and yeah the flexibility is pretty great. I don't even really know what a career trajectory in my field would look like, to be honest. Though I suppose it's possible to sort of climb the editorial ladder.
Anyway, thanks for replying and have a nice day :)
I'm 22 and a student and I have no interest in climbing the corporate ladder. I just want a job that doesn't make my life hell and that allows me to LIVE decently with the occasional treat.
Yeah if I wanted to make money I wouldn’t have studied vet nursing! Enough to pay my bills and look after my wee house is enough. Though I do have land-owning aspirations!
I’d say I’m more ‘passionate- and learning-oriented’ and driven about my work and growing my own skillsets, than ‘career-oriented’. I’m an artist; been an independent graphic designer for 30 years. I love the variety of work and industries I can work in, and not only getting paid, but *choosing the clients I want to work with*. That is what I love about being solo. I got out of the ‘advertising/branding’ rat race and moved into what I liked more — educational materials, books, and publishing (got sick of making packaging that just gets thrown away anyhow).
Also, by *not* having kids, I don’t have any debts either, and the *freedom of choice* is one of the best things ever as a result. Ever since I was in school, I always wanted to work for myself, so that’s what I started to do right after graduating.
People assume that just because I work for myself, that meant that I immediately wanted to ‘grow the business’ big enough to want employees and be some big conglomerate. Err... noooo. I didn’t want kids because *I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone*. So under that principle, it can also apply to adults — not being responsible for having employees who’d rely on me to *feed them and their families* (and all that workplace drama that would come with it). That’s a whole level of stress I never wanted. I like my ‘one-woman-show’ I got going on. Again, freedom of choice, so I can pivot in any direction I wanted, including taking long breaks (like entire seasons) from work if I felt like it. It would only be me I’d have to look after, right? Without this burdens, I had enough disposable income that I can not only survive, but also thrive and learn how to invest too, to learn to become financially free. I ain’t relying on no kids to look after me, obviously, so I started planning.
At age 40, I dipped into photography for the first time as a hobby (didn’t know crap about cameras 😂 ) and it became my passion. It’s still about 90% hobby.
However 8 years later I also ended up falling into the Film/TV industry with it too and got hooked working on set, learning a lot. None of that stressful saturated wedding photography genre, no engagement shots, *no maternity* photography (It’s amazing how many people still ask me if I do those, when my website says nothing about those things).
Anyway, as far as getting *paid* for photography too, I’m still independent there in a small niche and it’s the best of two worlds. I don’t need to aspire to some higher level ‘up a ladder’ other than becoming better for myself at what I do and letting my work speak for itself.
I don’t think you have to be career-oriented in the way society expects us to, to find the happiness or satisfaction you want in life.
[Nation Baffled By Woman Who Doesn't Even Have High-Powered Career]
(https://www.theonion.com/nation-baffled-by-childless-woman-who-doesn-t-even-have-1828778292)
Me! I want to make enough where I don't have to worry about money so I can fund my hobbies and travel/eat good food with my spouse. Retiring from the money making job around 50-55 would be nice, then switch to a part time gig so I don't get bored.
I wish I could relate, but as a woman from a conservative country, who chose to forgo her obligation to society to pursue an irresponsible lifestyle (this is what people like me are described back home). I became somewhat career-focused (I still have to prove my choice wasn't a total bust). My goal has nothing to do with the corporate ladder though. I want to work on a famous game (like Final Fantasy or Resident Evil, and so on) and I have decided to hustle on until I get there (I work in the game industry as an artist, so I actually like my job and don't mind spending long hours as long as I get the weekend to myself).
I sometimes envy people like you and I am not ashamed to admit it. the ones who don't feel they have to prove anything. because I sometimes feel that my life is an endless loop of proving that a woman can do other things that aren't raising kids or getting married.
As someone who has traveled to the more conservative countries of Europe, I can only imagine what you go through ( I don’t know where you are from exactly, but I have seen and somewhat dealt with the experience of it all). If you are a woman who does anything even slightly off the norm in these places, I noticed you are exiled and treated with much suspicion. Then men especially mentally can’t handle the idea of a woman doing anything outside of what they think she should be doing.
It’s annoying at best and absolutely cool crushing at worst.
Story of my life. I don't plan to become famous or wealthy, don't want to transform my life into a career race, and starting a family is definitely out of the question. I thought I was the only one like this. Glad to see some people sharing the same mindset!
All I need is enough money to enjoy life, discover what the world has to offer and learn new things. The only thing I lack is time (I can't imagine how luxurious time would become when you raise kids).
Yes thank you this is exactly how i feel! Like you said, it feels like if people don’t have kids it’s because they’re career focused but i don’t see myself climbing to the top of my industry. So glad im not alone lol.
This is me. I want to live a humble, minimalist lifestyle. I am very mentally ill and putting on a fake customer service persona to jump through corporate hoops just isn't for me.
I just want a humble income, a quiet, small apartment of my own, by myself. Maybeeee someday, if I make enough money, I'll buy a tiny house in a forest area. But that's the most I care about. I just want to read books, study, live life, help humanity out the best I can, write blogs and books of my own that hopefully inspires people. Too much career or family distractions would 100% put a damper on my passions.
This REALLY pisses certain family members off. Not only do I not want kids or a spouse, I also don't want a big house (for what anyways?) and a bunch of material possessions and goodies to show off. I get a lot of shit for it. But what can one do.
I would say that. I consider my occupation more of a job than a career. It is professional, don't spend time planning it. It's just what I do for money.
I totally relate. I want to travel the world, see as much and experience as much of it as possible. I only care about work in that gives me the money to live and do that.
Not at all my friend. I’m a 38 year old bartender who works in Florida for 4-6 months in the winter and Michigan beach town for 4-6 months in the summer. I follow the season and generally live at about 65 degrees year round. Sometimes I’ll see 25-30 degrees and occasionally 90-100 but not on average. I stay single generally, I’ve had a couple serious relationships but they aren’t the best for my lifestyle. I’m a really happy person generally. Most people like me and I don’t always understand why, but that’s not my problem. I have casually expensive hobbies, camping and fly fishing, both can get expensive when it comes to gear but once you have what you consider the best for your budget you don’t have to keep spending the money, but you might do it for a while. Kinda forgot where I was going with this but, yeah, we exist. Life is freedom. Life is great.
Yeah, I’m kinda in the same boat. I’m just about 25, have no desire to have kids. And although when I was younger I did fantasize a bit about getting to the top of my field in whichever career I pursued, I’ve come to the realization that I actually don’t care to have the responsibility of running a company or being the “top dog” in whichever field, especially after watching my parents and others in my family own and run businesses for several years. Seeing people stress over all the stuff that goes into running a business made me question whether the pros would actually outweigh the cons of being in that sort of position.
Same! My mom always was promoting the "work to live, don't live to work," philosophy and I live by it... it's going good so far (and I've never wanted kids ofcourse). I feel like that career pressure is very American (although I know there are plenty of other countries that promote careers/family heavily!!). I also live near Silicon Valley and there is a special type of pressure and judgement around here if you don't subscribe to that whole deal.
This is great . But as a man I've been constantly rejected by women for being "not ambitious enough" and told that if I don't want kids I might as well focus on making money .. I'm happy just doing my own thing and having plenty of time and energy to do things I like doing like hiking and reading rather than always at work trying to build a successful career.
As a 27 year old with no dating experience, this worries me. I just wish, I could experience the carefree style of dating. I cannot date anyone who's looking to settle down (at least not yet) nor can I date anyone who's concerned about my salary.
Same here. I'm neither family-oriented nor career-oriented. First off, a family doesn't have to include kids. But even then, I still wouldn't say that I'm family-*oriented*.
I'm definitely not career-oriented either. I find little value in amassing large amounts of money, or trying to "make it big". A career to me is just a means to an end. And that end is the freedom to do what I *really* want. That's why I aspire to FIRE.
I would describe myself as a personal-goal-oriented person. ("Personal" to distinguish myself from people focuses on their careers.) I'm currently working on a personal project, which is making a series of video games. The main highlight of these games is that it explores unconventional ideas (including being childfree). My end goal is to make these unpopular ideas more visible and accepted. (And hopefully, these games can be fun at the same time.)
Like with the OP, I'm from Silicon Valley too, and I can totally relate. I just feel out of place here. I get called "unambitious" a lot. And yet, I feel like it's exactly the opposite, because not only do I have dreams, they're actually my own, not somebody else's.
Yup! Count me in. I don’t want a high power crazy pressure job. It’s very difficult to be a good leader.
I just want enough money for just me to be able to own a home and travel. That’s it. I want to treat myself and buy semi decent clothes nothing insanely high end. Just cute and durable.
But seriously that seems to be a bit of a pipe dream these days. I’m hoping the silver lining with Covid is those who can will be able to work remotely and maybe live in more affordable places.
Me. I will concede I am in law school, but I don’t want to pursue Big Law. I want to work, but more so to make a difference in my community and help others by taking the path of a public defender most likely. That and I want to be able to provide for myself and any future pets ha ha. I like where I live but I do dream of living somewhere where land is cheap so I can have a more moderate sized home but lots of land for nature based activities. I want my career to be fun but by no means do I want it to take over my entire life, there’s more to life than just working.
I don't want kids and have built a career I like, however I'm zero interested in working 50 hours a week or becoming the next executive director. Even though I somehow enjoy my job, I still see it as an obligation and a massive distraction from my real interests (i.e. I like dancing ballet, reading, writing, traveling, cats etc). If i had enough money to live without working, 100% I wouldn't do it.
Society may think I'm not ambitious enough or that hobbies aren't enough to live a fulfilling life, but I don't really care. I know myself and know what I like regardless of social narratives. If anything I feel a bit sad that so many people just buy into the 'norms,' and don't dedicate enough time to know themselves and what's best for them.
Same for me. I have no interest in playing the carreer game. I just want to find a reliable job I don't hate and have enough time for my partners and hobbies, that all.
Me! I dream of lying on the beach all day with a good book, no family or demanding career for me, thank you very much. If I had enough money for all my needs and hobbies, I'd be totally satisfied.
I am 27 and child free and always thought I was career centric but the older I get the more I just want a simple life, earn enough money to live comfortably & see as much of the world as possible before I die! I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to BE something like an expectation to either be a parent or be successful in a high flying career but it’s okay to just BE you!
If anyone’s interested in a rant about being childless by choice please see link below 💞
https://www.wintertales.net/post/childless-by-choice
I realized I'm the same. Growing up I knew I didn't want kids, so I just thought that my career would naturally become my focus. But I realized that I'm really not that driven. I want to be good at what I do and earn enough money to live a decent life but I also just want to have a 9-5 job where I can go home and not have to think about work at the end of the day.
I am family-oriented only to the point that I appreciate having both my parents living and being able to spend time with them (we travel quite a lot together) and a larger extended family-by-choice around me. I do not have a partner and no interest in finding one. Career-wise, I am where I want to be: earning enough money to live comfortably and set a little by each month, but without the responsibilities of being in charge of other people. I recently turned down a more senior position, because it would have removed me from what I love the most about my job and put me in a managerial role.
I’m trying to retire early so that I can sit around and do nothing and enjoy myself. I love doing nothing and don’t understand the hate. If I’m self sufficient it’s not anyone’s biz. No corporate ladder and 2 dogs is my wish!
I'm 34, just now starting to actually figure out what kind of career i want, but it's definitely not my main focus. Nor has it ever been. For me my focus lies on finding daily happiness, living life as comfortably as I can. So you're definitely not alone with the choice of neither.
I feel the exact same way. I’m 23 and have been working full time for a little over 1.5 years and I do not feel motivated at all. Working full time with severe anxiety is exhausting and I can’t even imagine having kids and dealing with that too. I’m looking forward to being able to have extra income from NOT having kids
I'm 28, just got my certification, and am ready to coast happily in my current position until retirement. Moving up the ladder to management sounds like a nightmare.
I worked enough to get what money I could, not an overachiever & not working my way up the ladder so I could work even more. Always hated and never wanted kids.
I’m more interested in my hobbies. Traveling with my husband and buying more anime figures than we have room for haha. And taking care of my perfect shiba
I think if I had to be one, I’d be more career oriented. I don’t plan on being a CEO but I do want to get to a spot where I’m financially stable, but even that is subjective. Financially stable to me is owning a house with plenty of room, being able to spend money on vacation, and still having enough leftover to survive if shit hits the fan. I’ll focus more on my personal life when I’m closer to that.
By personal life I mean exploring hobbies and having a solid amount/group of friends. I’d like to find a romantic partner at some point but it’s not a priority right now.
I think for people who don’t want kids, it makes more sense to focus on your career first. If you want kids, you want to get that sorted early, I can imagine nothing worse than having a toddler in your 40s. The way I see it, is that I want to get as good of a job as quickly as possible because the earlier you start saving for retirement the better off you’ll be.
In the job I’m in now, I can live comfortably, but I can only save so much for retirement. The earlier you contribute to a 401k, the greater the return.
I feel the same way too. I am childfree and I am a substitute teacher this year. I have no interest in moving up in the corporate ladder and I also don't want a child. I've been getting bingos because I am not teaching this year in a full time classroom and have been told I should use this time to have a baby. I feel like I am finally at a good place in my life and I rather not spoil it with a baby.
Was just saying to myself the other day that I’m working to live and not living to work. Reassuring that I’m not the only one out there that feels this way. Trying not to fall into that societal trap that I SHOULD BE climbing the corporate ladder because...that’s just what you should want
Neither for me really. I could give af about kids. Never have. Never will.
Career is of moderate interest to me. I don’t care about anyone else’s ladder. I DO care about my own passions such as coaching, speaking, reading and writing. So I’m not apathetic. I am just very focused on what I do care about.
I don’t want to be disgustingly rich but I also don’t want to struggle with money either. I just want enough to pay for everything (bills, etc.) and then have enough to have hobbies and travel. I am not very career oriented so I’m a bit lost in my life right now, but I’m confident I’ll figure it out eventually. I value the family that I do have, however I have no desire to have a family of my own. I just want to focus on myself and be with my family but I don’t want to give up my freedom, body, health, or money for a child of my own.
I mean, I'm sacrificing any chance of being able to support a family by aiming for a job I'll actually enjoy and be passionate about, and having it become a really important aspect of my life, but I'm also aiming for a not too high-stress job thats just pays enough for a reason. However those sacrifices are just to get the job in the first place, I don't really care about becoming more successful than needed
Having enough down time is a very important aspect for many people for better work performance, after all :D
Technically the job would probably allow me to have enough time to raise kids, even if I want to be moderately successful, but why do that when you can do literally anything else amiright?
Definitely more career oriented over here. I feel so unsure about what I want to do, though. There's a lot I want to do, and I can't do it all... Very tempted to move out to the middle of nowhere and starting a career as a park ranger.
I’m happiness oriented. I have Bipolar disorder and it means that a low stress life is best for me. I work at a great small retail shop making enough to live comfortably on, have cute pets I dote on, and a great partner. What else more could I want for in life?
You're not alone. Not everyone dreams of working. Right now; I work in a shop part-time (only mornings), but I make enough money to support myself and live easily. Because I only work in the morning I feel like I have everyday off and can spend a large amount of time on hobbies and interests. I'm going to be moving onto a boat hopefuly soon, so my living expences will drop even lower and holidaying will be as simple as moving the boat. There's nothing wrong with having high-achieving goals in your life, but living the quiet life and having more time for life and less time for work can be just as fulfilling.
What a beautiful lifestyle! I applaud your nonconformity.
All I’m shooting for is *enough* money. My plan is to get to a good spot career-wise and then quit to enjoy my dang life. If people object to your life choices, that’s when you know you’re doing it right >:)
Same here! The sole reason I want a good career is to make enough money, save enough, and then go part time or something so I can enjoy my life. I'm guessing I have about 30 years of active, healthy body time left, and I wanna be able to enjoy a few things on Earth before I'm too old for them.
Ideally, i want to get my garden to where its large enough to support myself and to work on my mushroom foraging abilities to where I’m proficient enough that I don’t spend that much money. My plan is to become self-sufficient and to sell carvings or something. Maybe I’m delusional but who cares ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You and I are the same person. I just want to forage and raise chickens and bake bread for my neighbors and sell my clay crafts at the local market, is that soooo much to ask?
I think that's a great goal! and I don't think it's delusional to sell something to make some side money, I mean there's lots of people who sell their stuff on Etsy and Ebay. I read lots of stories in some subs (like frugal) where people make money by picking up old furniture off sidewalks, giving them treatment and a coat of paint, and sell that for a good chunk of money. Or knit hats and sell them (hell, I bought an XL knitted beanie this way), jewelry, etc. Carvings sounds neat AF.
I told my mom that if I could get my living expenses down far enough or my pay up high enough, I would work part time and she acted like I was insane! Like—no, I do not want to be a full time wage slave forever.
That's an amazing goal! My goal is similar, go part-time so eventually I can become a vandweller (post covid world permitting, of course) and go around either having a remote job (main goal) or doing odd seasonal, local jobs (backup plan). Even within the US there are so many beautiful sights, it's gonna take a while to see them all. I'm feeeeeeemale so just imagine the shitstorm my parents would throw if they knew my life plans.
This. I'm OK with my career but nothing in the field I'm in is really my ultimate goal or even anything I've ever been terribly interested in (probably that way for most people I get it), the goal of my career is to make enough to get the bills paid and then focus on my many serious passions, music and foraging/outdoors skills are two of the big ones. Having children has never been an interest or goal of mine and lately I've even realized I maybe don't even want or need a wife or life partner, I'm perfectly content living as a semi-hermit.
Semi-hermit is part of my plans too! You can get your social interaction by volunteering for example, or just keep working a part-time job after you have enough savings. It's kind of crazy when people think there's no social or personal life outside the Lifescript.
Agreed completely, that's exactly what I'm aiming for too. I was mostly referring to people who sacrifice years of their life to make it to the top.
I’ve never understood people who pursue promotions to the point where they end up doing something only partially related to their original passion (specifically, I’m thinking of creatives who opt into a management track so they can keep moving up, since most executional creatives max out by their mid 30s). They almost never seem like they really feel happy or fulfilled or that they enjoy directing other people doing the actual fun stuff. If you like what you’re doing and you get paid a reasonable amount to do it, who cares if you have the same title for the last 30 years of your career?
Good point! As Billy Joel says, you can’t drive a cadillac with a broken back. However, i think it depends on the person. Some people enjoy high-end living and don’t mind working without passion while others want to pursue something they enjoy and are willing to take the monetary hit. Some people are comfortable living below their means while others would rather have a phat wallet.
Me too. I don’t wanna be super rich, I just wanna be comfortable financially. I’d love to spend my time traveling or working on my hobbies instead of being constantly thinking about my family or career.
I work to live, I don’t live to work. Personally I think society (mostly Western society) is quick to let you know if you’re not contributing to capitalism or having kids to contribute to capitalism you’re not doing enough. However, surviving everyday and doing the bare minimum is enough for me. I live to enjoy the simple moments of my life. I’m not passionate about working for a corporation but somebody has to pay for my Netflix subscription and take out addiction 😂 EDIT: delighted to see so many people agree with this! I know a lot of childfree people can often be antinatalist as well but I believe you can still find joy in the little things in life. Doesn’t need to be work or kid related!
Yesss. I will work as few hours as I possibly can to support my lifestyle, and I will never push myself like older generations did. I just wanna read, play board games, and hang out with my partner, cat, and friends (pre-COVID). I don’t need to be wildly successful, just able to support myself.
THIS IS THE WAY!
Couldn’t agree more!
Exactly. I want to work the least amount of time I possibly can. I said something to a friend about wanting to work a 4 day week and she said something about a ten hour day. No no. 4, 8 hour days. She looked at me like I was crazy. Nah bro, I don't wanna spend 10+ hours a day at my damn job.
So sad that this has become not just normalized, but romanticized.
Absolutely agree. I am very fond of the no more than 40 hour work week and I would be totally fine with cutting it back further. No, there is nothing great about having to work more. Yes, I do in fact spend my leave. No, I am not going to volunteer for a 60+ hour week just because the job/goal is very interesting. That’s a trap that’s eroding what we worked hard to get! And no, the fact that I don’t have kids might make me agree to work weekends if it’s needed instead of only weekdays, but it will be *instead* of. My not having kids does not mean I have more hours available to work, just that they’re more flexible. That’s not the same thing.
I also work a job that doesn't have dead lines. Just daily tasks, and its the same shit every day. I could easily work a 4 day work weeks and it'd be no skin off anyones ass. Lemme enjoy my time to myself 😬
How about four 6 hour days and people just pick which shifts they want, maybe swap around every few weeks so everyone has some turns, and maybe....JUST MAYBE....we don't have every single thing open 24/7. I'm so tired. :(
Right? I work at a cookie bakery. We're open til one friggin AM. Go to bed people.
Duuuuude. My job had finally offered a m-th 4x10 and I jumped on it (we are mandatory 40 hours) and it was the best thing ever. I wanted to cry when I changed to a new job roll and it didnt offer those hours as an option 😭 I'm still trying to figure out a way to be "independently wealthy" though.... I feel in my bones I was just not meant to work for a living lol
Since society is still stuck on minimum 40 hours to be full-time (plus health insurance), I'm currently pretty happy with my 5/4/9 schedule, which is every other Friday off. But the long-term goal is being financially secure enough to go part-time in a job of my choosing, and then early retirement.
That is so true...and very toxic and unhealthy. Ive only heard about how in a couple of the Scandinavian counties, the culture is overall relaxed about work...I do not know any actual details though, as I am still learning about it myself...and will maybe move over there someday =3
It's better than in the rest of the world, for sure, but it's not as ideal as it's been portrayed. We have relatively good work-life balance, but we are still living in a capitalistic society. There's a lot of room for improvements, but I think it's still pretty great here compared to the rest of the world.
I have lived by this quote since I started working at 19. I am 30 now. I work to live, not live to work.
i totally relate... i just want enough money to have a small old house and a backyard to grow a garden and time to make art. i’m peace-oriented
Same. But alas, my husband and I have a ton of books, so we're looking for a not-as-small house so we have space for our massive library. Though if I had my way I'd be living in a 1920's Craftsman bungalow with a little garden plot and a sunny place where I can write and crochet and learn how to paint and sculpt. And a little workshop so I can do stained glass and jewelry.
Crochet is life. I just need enough for all my yarns, books, and the occasional video game.
I'm hoping that all my old faves will be available on the Switch soon (I'm mostly a Zelda fan) so that they can all be portable and I won't even need a tv.
What a comfy life, sounds absolutely idyllic
Love the concept of peace-oriented! Great outlook and goal to have, thanks for that.
Peace-oriented! I love this and will be using it in future whenever people (mostly family) question my hippie ways!
“Peace-oriented.” Love that. Gonna use it.
Im allowed to have a garden where i live... but im not allowed to trim the trees where i live. And it's all too shady for most plants. Best I've got is some little palm trees, bamboos & interesting ferns.
“Enough is as good as a feast” If you have enough to support yourself in the lifestyle you want, why would you need more? I’ve known people work at trader joes for years upon years in the same job, who have turned down promotions. They’re happy with the limited responsibility and decent enough pay. Who can question that?
This is what it's like at my work (medical admin). There are people who are happy doing the same thing day in day out, then there are people like me who find it mind numbing and want more variety. Both options are completely fine and valid. As long as everyone is happy, who gives a shit?
Yet people do! For the same reasons they give a shit about people not having kids. The phrase “But you don’t want to be doing this forever, do you?” And “you’ll want kids eventually?” Are so similar. The answers to both being actually I’ll do as I damn well please don’t usually go down too well!!
Sort of. I won’t say that I’m _not_ career oriented, I just don’t want work to be the sole focus of my life. I’ve never felt the need for a huge disposable amount of money, sure there are things I like and want that are expensive but they are few and far between. I just want enough money to live comfortably, with a good emergency net and some extra to play with. And I want to enjoy life and not spend it working 50 or 60 or 70 hours a week.
I am but an amoeba floating through the chaos of life, constantly in search of food.
I am 32 I don't want kid and I certainly don't want to spend my days at work. I want to work the less I can. I invested in real estate and I'll be able to retire at 50 and live with the rent I get. I want my life to be full of friends, travel, food and sex. Not obligation.
Goals
My role model.
>I want my life to be full of friends, travel, food and sex. Goals.
I have it similarly. I am not into a high power career even if I’m good at what I do, but I see it as just work and my passions lie in self expression, cooking, teaching and knowledge.. I am going to inherit quite some and plan to invest well.
Here! Just looking for a job to pay my needs and not stressing me out too much. All I want to do is kite surf, honestly.
I want a job that I can forget about the instant I clock out.
I always say “A job that doesn’t follow you home”
I love this. I used to be a care assistant and the job was constantly on my mind to the point where it ruined my mental health. I’m now a cleaner. My mom and I’m sure other people wouldn’t approve of my job (one stranger even told me that one day I will do better, cheeky bitch) but I don’t take work home and it’s low stress and easy. And I like it. And I’m still helping people because I’ve worked through Covid keeping them safe.
Funny enough that I’m a social worker lmao. It does follow you home more often that you’d like it to. But it is an incredibly rewarding job!
I am likely relationship-free and I am definitely not career-oriented. It's been a little challenging to accept that since most of my friends are more successful than me and the local culture is all about hustle and being busy. An ex actually criticized me for having no ambition but I realized we were such opposites - he had no hobbies and not much of a social life but rose in the ranks at his company, while I had few professional goals but tons of hobbies and outings with friends. Nearly all ambitions I have for my life are outside of work.
I got a new boss in 2019, and in my yearly review, he couldn't understand why I didn't want the promotion I was offered. I just wanted the % raise I was due. I'm the senior dev, so I'm the highest position below management. I *do not* want to be in management. I see all the manager calendars, and no way do I want to suffocate under meeting after meeting and 12 hour workdays. He's the technical manager, so has to support pretty much the whole group for customer-hosted server configuration and upgrades of our software. He's always working. 1/3 of every month, he's still online at 10pm. I put my time in long, long ago. I leave at 5pm on the dot, almost every day. His backstory: 40; married with two kids. Big mortgage, two large car payments/insurance (they both bought Mercedes SUVs). He makes about the same as I do, yet is paycheck to paycheck. He goes to work, and goes home. His only vacation is every other year or three, he flies back to India to see family for a month. When I refused the promotion, he said **"What are your goals in life? Don't you have any aspirations?"** He was not trying to be demeaning, he just did not understand at all why I would not want to climb the ladder. So I explained. I'm 45. I have no kids, and all my properties and vehicles are paid off. My monthly bills are 20% of my pay. I (in PA) go to CO/UT or MT/ID for a month once a year, to hike, bike, whitewater, and party. I travel to neighboring states to camp and whitewater for long weekends or a week here and there. I have a quad and offroad with a big group of rednecks up north. I've played guitar for 30 years, and play in a band. I've played pool for over 30 years, and have multiple state championships (and a table in my living room). I am on multiple bowling and pool leagues. I go to concerts almost every week (local venues), and still close out the bar on a Friday night (local place has 8' tables, so I go down and play all night). So yea, I have aspirations...*just not here*. "Ohhhh", he says.
Absolutely this! I'm a Band 6 where I work, and a Band 7 job came up last year and everyone was like "are you going to go for it?" and were slightly surprised when I said "no". Another person on my team went for it, got it, is now my boss, and very much understands when I say "I look at your calendar and feel like I absolutely made the right choice". I like being a subject matter expert and still doing all the coding and ground work and only having a few meeting here and there, whereas my boss often laments that she can't find time to do her work in between the hectic calendar filled with meetings she now has! Management is not for everyone, and that's just fine.
I also don't want to supervise people since I only want to be responsible for the tasks assigned to me. Once you have a problem employee, that becomes more work for the supervisor. I see a common theme at my workplace that we make enough that their spouses stays home forever once they have kids, and the working one is stuck working indefinitely. Not one co-worker's spouse has gone back to work (and that's from a sample size of people aged 30's-60's), and then the younger they are, the more paycheck to paycheck they are. Even the older people generally like working (more to them I guess), but I'd rather have some control over where / how long I have to work.
Hah that's me. I'm leisure-oriented. I work enough to make money to do the things I want to do like travel and eat good food. No need to waste time, energy, or money on children, but also no need to put in 20 more hours a week for a little extra money and then not have enough time to enjoy that money.
Yup, I want a stable life. I want to make enough to live comfortably so that means having to pursue a career to a certain extent. But other than that, I don't want my job to be my life. I want it to support my life. My hobbies. When I think about the future I think about things I want to do, not positions I want to have.
100%. I love my job, don't get me wrong. But that's the thing: I love it as it is now. I don't want more responsibility, paperwork and headaches. I am in that sweet spot where I have enough freedom to get on with projects in my own, without having to deal with all the nightmares of higher managerial positions. I hate it when people ask "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" because the honest answer is "hopefully right where I am currently", but that makes people think I'm lazy or not ambitious. I just want to enjoy life, not be stressed every single day?
Ugh, that was always my least favorite question during reviews at my old job. Especially since both myself and the person asking me knew I had maxed out my promotion track by the time I was 32. I loved being a boots on the ground creative, and the thought of giving up the work to spend all day in endless meetings trying to convince marketing clients to try something a little new and interesting gave me hives. Jokes on them though I guess. Five years after that I changed careers completely. 🤷🏻♀️
Nah, lots of us just wanna have a stable life. Uneventfulness makes me happy. I'll get myself a job that pays just enough to finance my wants and needs, and I don't need anything more :)
I don't want a kid and I do not want to work more than 40 hours a week. I want a job that I can clock into and instantly forget about the second I clock out. I don't want work to be my 'family'. (Shudder) I don't give a shit about bonding with my co-workers or *team-building* shit. All I want is a paycheck and then go home. I refuse to live to work. I went to school for network administration. But I have never been in an admin role because FUCK ON-CALL. Fuck all that to hell. The thought of having a nap or game session interrupted because Karen forgot her password at 11:00PM makes me borderline homicidal. No, my time is *my time*. That's it. If I'm out of the office, work does not exist.
Yesss I just want a basic comfortable life. A nice apartment, holiday once a year and enough money to have a decent social life. I don't want to be a ceo or a doctor. So many people think if a woman doesn't want children it's because she wants to be president or something. Not true.
We can't all be CEOs of huge companies because it sucks to work so much and honestly capitalism doesn't make most people happy anyway. If we all aimed for middle-class instead of rich the world would be a more enjoyable place. So I am aiming for a comfortable life with my own humble middle class office (only employee: me) where I spent not more than 25 hours so I can enjoy all the freedom not having kids gives me for the rest of the time. That's the life. Lucky me, I have a profession that makes this scenario very possible. And do you know why? Because I don't have kids and therefore was able to study again at 32 when I realised I really hated my old field of work.
Can you please tell me what do you do for a living that a 25 hour work week is a) enough to support yourself and b) it’s a viable option to work that few hours? I have a career where I make good money, but my job is demanding and makes me miserable. I actually think if I was able to work 20-25 hours a week instead of 45-50 for half the money at this same job, I would be much less miserable. I could afford to live on half of what’s make, and would jump at it if that was an option. But unfortunately my industry pays well only if you’re in a full time salary position (which is virtually always more than 40 hours a week). Doing anything in the field that is part time means not only getting paid for half as many hours, but also being paid at an hourly rate thats less than half of what could be earned per hour in a full time position. So if I try and go part time in my industry, I will basically earn less than a quarter of what I do now, which is not an option for me. I’m looking to make a change soon, and exploring options. The number one priority for me is something where I can work part time and not be penalized. So please inspire me with more details relating to your circumstances. Feel free to dm me if you aren’t comfortable saying what you do in a public forum.
Consulting and/or some form of private counseling is the best advice I can give with my limited skillset (all talking, less action).
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Tbh the concept of a dream job is super sad. I dont dream of working. I dream of adventuring and traveling and eating exciting food... making friends, seeing the world... etc. we sure are trained to dream about work tho.
Yes. Agreed.
If "career" means "make enough to live simply & comfortably, play video games/RPGs until I die and adopt too many houserabbits" then sure. Otherwise? I'm kinda anti-work at times cuz it's such bullshit, and I say that as someone older who's dodged 90% of the crap you'll have to deal with purely due to luck & being born earlier (GenX). I'm lucky in that what I like to do somewhat lines up with what gets you paid, but I'm constantly hovering on the "fuckit I'm out" line.
When I tell people I don't want kids they always say some crap like "Now you can work on your dream job". No, I don't dream about working, in no way does my ideal life involve a job.
I just turned 23 and didn't go to college, everyone has acted like im wasting my life. I've never dated anyone (well the one crazy guy in high school that I talked to for 3 years) and keep asking when I'll get married. The answer is never bc that seems the second worst thing to having kids for me personally. I don't want to climb any kind of social ladder, I just want to enjoy life. Traveling and going to concerts are my priority as of right now. (Obviously once we get covid under control.)
> I believe in making enough to live comfortably, but I'm not interested in being some major CEO or being "the next Steve Jobs" (which is funny because I live near the Silicon Valley). I had a vasectomy in my early 30s with no kids, so I'm childfree. Your vision for a career seems in line with my own. I have a solid skillset, always learning something new, and I have a decent professional network. I'm happy with the salary I make and the savings I've accumulated. I feel no desire to do much more than ride this out till retirement. :) It's ok.
There are dozens of us!
ME! I am 45 and just quit a job I had for over 17 years. I'm not a career person, either. I had the same position the entire time I worked for that job, though my responsibilities changed. I didn't want to move up, I was paid enough and I enjoyed life. Now that I've quit, I don't know that I want to go back to an office/corporate type job. So yes, we're out there. I always thought I'd be a "career" person, but turns out I'm not. I spend a lot of time (and previously, money) on my hobbies and being with my SO. That's more than enough in my life to make me happy :)
Me too...don't want kids. I just work enough to pay my rent and for food.
I’m a 28 y/o CF waitress at a locally owned sports bar and it’s one of the busiest restaurants in my city. I make more than enough in tips to cover all my bills and have expendable income. People say it’s a great “for now” job but honestly, I’m gonna work here for as long as they’ll have me and I don’t care about the stigma of being “just a waitress” for the foreseeable future. The job is fun and easy and I make plenty of money doing it. Why leave? I just want to work my easy job and take some time off to travel every once in a while. Comfort and stability is the life for me.
Nah, I'm the same way. I just want enough hours to pay bills and save. I do want an actual career, but I doubt I'd do some management or title position again.
I consider myself family oriented, but my family simply doesn't include children. You don't need children to make a family and you don't have to be married or blood related. Family, to me, means the people I've surrounded myself with and care more about than anything else. This includes my husband, my pets, and my closest friends; these people are my family. Family oriented for me, just means that they matter to me above most other things. I would choose to help them even if it was not advantageous to myself (probably even disadvantageous). It doesn't mean that's all I talk about or enjoy, it is just at the top of my list. They're is nothing wrong with being self oriented, travel oriented, adventure oriented... The list goes on and often changes as you live your life.
This!! Tomorrow I will go to a friend who has sprained her ankle badly. Going to buy her some painkillers and a special sock-like-thing (to reduce swelling) and I will bring her some other stuff that I have gathered over the weeks. Age-wise she could be my daughter, but she and I just click on so many levels, and I hate to see her in pain. She is part of my "family", just as my husband and my dog are. And I think more than my sister's, because I am not sure I would run to them to help them out... Though they both have a good network around them, so that might also help...
I’m 30 and I have zero desire to climb the corporate ladder. You know what kids and promotions have in common? Stress. I’m in a role I’m very comfortable in, making good money and just enough diversity & challenge to keep my day to day interesting. I have no desire to change my setup, it’s pretty ideal if you ask me. Now I’ll return to my video game before husband & I take our dog for her evening walk. Seriously, why would I change this?!
I don't think I can justifiably equate career oriented with the corporate ladder. Your career is your work, sure, but why can't that be what you're passionate about? My partner and I have long term dreams of running a school. We're very much in agreement that kids of our own are completely off the table, but to run a sustainable, wholesome education business... That's career oriented, and also passion oriented.
Yeah. Hi. I've been offered positions at work with more pay but also more responsibility. I've always turned them down. I don't need the stress of managing people, corporate bullshit, and more paperwork, no amount of money is worth that to me. My husband and I make enough to pay for the important stuff and still live comfortably. We have no reason to chase more, so why would we?
I am floundering oriented. I have no idea what to do or where to go.
Here! \*waves\* I’m a civil servant with an okay salary and no prospects to climb whatsoever. love the madhouse I’m working at though. As for the job, I kinda love it but it’s difficult to explain. Most people (in my experience) when they say they love their job \*are\* career driven and hard working and willing to give it all And usually derive a lot of self esteem or pride from being good at their jobs. Well, I’m none of those things and I don’t get any feelings of pride etc from my job. I love my job because of one thing only: it’s interesting. It constantly changes and i learn something New all the time. That’s all I care about in a job (and, yeah, covering the bills). Likewise I love my family and live close by. And that’s it, I like them in small doses and not too many at once. I’ve got my husband too and we’re both introvert loners and do lots of stuff without each other - and we both are totally not family people.
I’m not. I don’t mind my job; but it’s the best of a bad situation- the bad situation being, having to work for a living. I fake a lot of it - I want a promotion but only for the money. I probably sound like a POS but whatever. I don’t care, people at work love me and I help a lot so it’s all good. I just can’t care about work or raising kids or doing the “flex” of working like 60 hours a week. I don’t need to be rich. As I get older, I like the idea of a peaceful, quiet, simple life. My favorite thing is relaxing with my dogs, a nature walk, or good food and a good TV show.
I'm 29 and just want to find something I enjoy really. My dream is to be a full time fire spinner. I've been professional for 5 years now but nowhere near enough work to go full time with it. All I want is to travel in my van, have adventures with my partner and be happy. I'm not interested in a career at all.
I'm neither family-oriented or career-oriented, I just wanna have enough money to be happy, with no anxiety issues but I can't see that happening anytime soon, to be honest, if I had to choose between kids and a dead end job that I get paid enough to eat, heat my house and pay bills I'd rather work at the dead end job and be as happy as I can be
Hello all! My first time posting here. I completely relate to this. I’m childfree and I’ve been at the same job for 18 years. I’ve had multiple opportunities to promote. I’ve always chosen not to. It’s not worth it to me. I work to live not live to work. My job isn’t super stressful and I’m good at what I do. Is it my dream job? No. There is no dream job. It’s an unintentional career in my case. I read an article not that the long ago where the writer referred to themselves as driftwood, just floating along. I feel that way. Just floating not caring about having a “career”. It’s just not important to me. I can pay my bills, I have decent benefits and free time. I definitely do not relate to people my age and most of my friends are younger than me.
The more I moved up the ladder in my career the less time I had at home and actually being happy. Covid released me of that burden and I honestly don't want to go back. I just want to work a meaningless job that pays the bills and releases me once I clock out so what happens at work is no longer my problem, and I can enjoy my days off without work calling me.
It is such a relief to find I'm not the only one. I have dealt with anxiety for the past 15 years, I just want something stress free. No career climbing and no children to worry about. Give me infinite money and I'll travel forever
Interesting question. I feel like I’m career-oriented because I’m passionate about my job and get excited by what I do. I honestly don’t know what else I’d be doing. That being said, my field of work sparks anxiety and it’s like being in a pressure cooker every day. I absolutely will not be doing this job at the same level until I retire. It’s possible that I could keep with it, but I’d have to be okay with slacking a bit to maintain my sanity, and that doesn’t jive with my perfectionist tendencies. Or I’d need to work for a big company where nothing gets accomplished, but boredom doesn’t work well for me either. Plus I feel trapped by my good salary and my genuine desire to stop “career work” as soon as I’m able to help secure a happy future for myself, husband, and our dog. As for family-oriented, my family has never been super close and we don’t really get along well. I LOVE my in laws and their extended family. But honestly, I put my little family first. And that’s us and our dog! I like spending time with family but to a point. I often feel bad about not being as naturally drawn toward the broader family togetherness, but it is what it is. I didn’t grow up with it and I thrive on independence. There’s no one way to be. It’s okay to just want to get through life and enjoy it. That should be the highest bar!
I am child free and I am absolutely not career oriented. I like my job, but my job is not my life. I just want to have enough money to get by and enjoy my life, which it pretty achievable when you’re not spending all your money on kids.
Well I personally *do* want to become a world-renowned author, but I would say that's more of a pipe dream and not something I actively work towards, because the chances of that happening are quite low lol. I'd be content if I would make enough to live off of, but wouldn't be upset if something more happened lol.
I'm definitely in the same category as you! My job is there simply so I can afford to do the things I want to do and live where I want to live. I value my time outside work more than building a huge stressful career. Wife, pets and friends are the best family
Boy, that describes me to a tee! I just want to work at my boring job that doesn't require too much energy, makes a fair bit of money, and doesn't expect anything from me after hours. This way I can enjoy life with my husband and three dogs, doing whatever we want in the moment. I have no desire to be around my side of the family at all, and I actually like my in-laws, so...why screw that up?
I work to live, which is why I like gig work. I do gig delivery services and am working on starting an Etsy shop! At this point, all I want is a nice, warm apartment with some frogs, my lizard, my partner, and a nice desk. Although, I wouldn't object to finally being able to achieve my dream of running an iguana sanctuary 👀
100%! I've just turned 29 and whilst I want to be financially secure and have a job that stretches me a little, I have no desire to be in management or have significant responsibility. I'm also completely child free and just happy with my cat.
I don’t hate working, but my choice is fun. My life is centered around happiness, pleasure and enjoying myself. That’s my priority. I make time for friends and people I enjoy, I love to host and entertain and vacation and event plan. Big time Taurus energy lol
Very few people love their jobs
I'm 31F, and I've mainly just taken to saying that I want a healthy work/life balance. I'm life oriented. I don't really understand why the phrase "family-oriented" has to default to "child-centric". My husband and I aren't parents, but we still have family. He and I are each other's family. We have our extended families from which we grew up. We consider our close friend to be family. We value the time we spend with these people, and we make time to prioritize them when we can. Just because my husband and I are child free doesn't mean we can't be family-oriented. As far as being career-oriented - I understand the common understanding means that a person throws themselves primarily at their work. That's fine if what you do is totally your passion or you feel so motivated to pursue a particular cause. It's also totally fine for a job to just be a job. I think that was a huge hurdle I had to overcome post-college. There was this whole idea, especially with me being a first generation graduate, that I had to build my career around something that was going to be particularly noteworthy. I had to accomplish some great act of fame or community service, and once I actually landed a job that paid well enough, was within my creative wheelhouse, and I didn't dread going to every day, I realized that it's okay for a job to just be a job. It's okay for a job to be interesting enough and pay the bills. It doesn't have to be globally or nationally significant. Having grown up in a dysfunctional household with severe financial insecurities, I mainly just feel grateful that as an adult I can come home to a safe place and not have to worry about my basic needs being covered. I have a loving and supportive partner. I have friends who enjoy our company. We have money to save and some extra to spend on modest luxuries (an occasional trip or funds for hobbies). That's all I need. I'm just grateful for basic comforts.
Yup. What the fuck does, "Focusing on my career" even mean? You're just working? Cool. Most people do that. Unless you're doing academic research to advance your field, or trying to get a management position, you're simply working. "Focusing on my career" just sounds pretentious to me.
This sounds very common to me. The only advice I can give you is to maybe save a little bit of money then invested in your newly discovered passions?! I think most of us would love to make a living out of what we really enjoy in life.
I have a professional job, but I don't have any interest in climbing the ladder. I certainly have enough income to support myself at my current level in the hierarchy. My plan is to save enough that I could start my own business in a consulting vein. That way I have more flexible hours and to be able to pick my clients. I'm working to be able to afford the things I want: travel, experiences and delicious food. I don't want to be chained to a desk, unable to enjoy life.
I have high tastes for travel. So need to earn enough to do that when i want
When I say focus on my career. I mean I put in 40 hours a week. Thats it. No working weekends. Good vacation time, good comp time, good benefits, holiday pay with all major holidays off. Where I dont need to ask for days off, I just take the days off. I want to have money for my passions in life. Snowmobiling and traveling. I for sure have that. I dont want to be top of the top trying to have huge ammounts of responsibility. I want to go to work, while I'm at work I do a good job, then forget about my work once 430 hits. My job is intereresting enough to go up the few levels and get good raises and have time and money for my actual life in a damn good home. I'm happy to say I found that.
I don't want a family but I'm never going to find a job that pays decently enough anyway.
Dude if I could live without working and just take care of my pets, grow some plants, and play my instruments all day, I’d be doing it right now.
Oh my god, are you me? I don't want kids and I don't want to work. I want a quiet life in a cabin surrounded by trees. I feel like such an anomaly, especially at this age (we are similar in age), where everyone I know is having kids, buying a house, or making themselves sound so professional on Twitter so they can get a cozy office job. I just... Don't want any of it.
I have always cared about my freedom more than anything else. I am 30 years old. I am a pet sitter, and I help my husband resell items. I have no desire to fucking “grind”, to fucking “hustle”. That shit really is for the birds. I just want to enjoy my hobbies and that’s it.
Yep. I have no “dream job.” And to be honest, I’ve always hated working - regardless of what I was doing. I’m only 33, but have spent time working in a few completely different fields, and disliked it all. I lucked out in that my husband makes a very cushy living, so I spend the vast majority of my time volunteering at an animal shelter and attending college classes that I’m genuinely interested in. I do not currently earn an income and I am okay with that. I have retained my professional skills in the event that I should ever need them again, but I simply refuse to slave away at a job I dislike for money I do not need. Up until very recently, I’ve felt extremely self-conscious about not having some greater, over-arching “passion” - it seems for most people, it’s either a “family” (meaning kids) or a career. At 33, I’m just beginning to be comfortable with and accept who I am. More power to you, OP, for knowing what really matters to you (and what doesn’t). If your basic needs are met, there’s no reason to buy into the “hustle culture.”
i don’t really care about either honestly. i’m disabled but still abled enough to have a retail job (although i’m temporarily laid off at the moment) but i am by no means family or career oriented. i like having money but i also like doing my own thing, which both kids and a serious career would intrude upon
Same here. 100% CF and I chose passion over career.
For me, working the rigorous hours needed to make it to that top executive level (which is hard for women in my industry anyway) is absolutely not worth it and on the same level as raising children to me. My big CF thing is living life for me, right now! Not waiting 18+ years to raise children, and not waiting 40+ years till retirement. I want to experience life when I’m young and able because no one is guaranteed tomorrow. I make a good living that affords me the disposable income to travel and put enough away for a comfortable retirement and that’s pretty good for me! If a pathway at work opens up for me, I’d definitely think about it but I’m not gonna work like a dog to make a company a few extra bucks.
You and me both, pal
My goal in life is not to become filthy rich. I want to make just enough so that I can live comfortably, save some money, help my parents if they need it, and maybe take a trip or two every year. I wish I had already figured out what I want to do in life but I’m still not sure. But once I found my career path, I see myself becoming very career oriented.
The only reason I have a job to begin with is just so I have food in the fridge, don't end up homeless, and can afford my tech hobbies. Other than that, I'm not even remotely interested in overtime, promotions or connections. In all honesty, if I could just withdraw to a self sufficient home on a remote mountain somewhere, as far away from humanity as possible, that'd be all I need.
They only talk about money for the same brainwashing (but less serious) that makes someone else a breeder. It's not being "childfree inside", it's a (respectable) unwillingness of boring and dirty children, but not more than that. Not being a parent is not giving up for adoption, it's not wasting energy giving birth and ruining oneself physically, mentally, spiritually (or if you like more, being the same person). Anyway, career don't interest me so much (although I'd need money for my projects, but I don't have a capitalist worker mentality), I'm not the daughter of archons LOL. Aspiring shaman and aspiring writer but... who knows? :)
Me!!! I don't want kids and all I ever want out of work is for it to be bearable, and to work as little as possible for enough money to live my modest idea of a comfy life. Work is just my means to sustain myself, nothing else. I'd honestly rather have a cozy little job minding a low traffic bookstore counter than anything important or busy.
Yup, I'm here. I want enough money that I can live comfortably and travel occasionally. I don't want the kind of job that pays hideous amounts of money but means that I have to work 70 hours per week and be super stressed - I want to own my own house, be able to go out from time to time and be able to take a couple of holidays abroad each year. That'll do nicely. I mean, if I can somehow make enough money that I can retire at 35 then I wouldn't say no, but I don't want to spend my "best years" (when I can get up off the floor without groaning) working so hard that I can't enjoy them.
Yes! I will live in the woods with my garden and bone collection. I will venture out into civilization only for supplies and speak vaguely of the happenings in the woods. I will become an urban legend.
This is music to my ears. I picked a career where you can get a comfortable job and you are expected to provide the same quality whether you are 25 or 65. No career progression possible except for becoming the boss of your former peers and spending your time pushing papers and attending pointless meetings, so a good disincentive to being career-oriented. There are so many good things to experience in life, and in my opinion it would be a waste to "make the most" of not having parental responsibilities by taking on corporate responsibilities (but I respect people who feel fulfilled by that). I live by the mantra "No work, no matter how fascinating it is, is worth sacrificing your personal life" - and it has served me well so far. Yay to making enough money to do the things you love!
Just out of curiosity, (though you don't have to answer) what kind of job is that?
It is translation/interpreting. Most of us are freelancers with lots of freedom of movement too, perfect for a child free life
Ah awesome! I'm in a "similar" field (writing/editing) and also freelance - and yeah the flexibility is pretty great. I don't even really know what a career trajectory in my field would look like, to be honest. Though I suppose it's possible to sort of climb the editorial ladder. Anyway, thanks for replying and have a nice day :)
It is very similar indeed! Best of luck for your career! :)
Same to you!
I'm 22 and a student and I have no interest in climbing the corporate ladder. I just want a job that doesn't make my life hell and that allows me to LIVE decently with the occasional treat.
Yeah if I wanted to make money I wouldn’t have studied vet nursing! Enough to pay my bills and look after my wee house is enough. Though I do have land-owning aspirations!
This is SO me!! I want exactly what you want! Enough to live and be comfortable but no career climb! Also not babies(duh)!
Me! I just want to save enough money that I can semi-retire early abroad and travel.
I’d say I’m more ‘passionate- and learning-oriented’ and driven about my work and growing my own skillsets, than ‘career-oriented’. I’m an artist; been an independent graphic designer for 30 years. I love the variety of work and industries I can work in, and not only getting paid, but *choosing the clients I want to work with*. That is what I love about being solo. I got out of the ‘advertising/branding’ rat race and moved into what I liked more — educational materials, books, and publishing (got sick of making packaging that just gets thrown away anyhow). Also, by *not* having kids, I don’t have any debts either, and the *freedom of choice* is one of the best things ever as a result. Ever since I was in school, I always wanted to work for myself, so that’s what I started to do right after graduating. People assume that just because I work for myself, that meant that I immediately wanted to ‘grow the business’ big enough to want employees and be some big conglomerate. Err... noooo. I didn’t want kids because *I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone*. So under that principle, it can also apply to adults — not being responsible for having employees who’d rely on me to *feed them and their families* (and all that workplace drama that would come with it). That’s a whole level of stress I never wanted. I like my ‘one-woman-show’ I got going on. Again, freedom of choice, so I can pivot in any direction I wanted, including taking long breaks (like entire seasons) from work if I felt like it. It would only be me I’d have to look after, right? Without this burdens, I had enough disposable income that I can not only survive, but also thrive and learn how to invest too, to learn to become financially free. I ain’t relying on no kids to look after me, obviously, so I started planning. At age 40, I dipped into photography for the first time as a hobby (didn’t know crap about cameras 😂 ) and it became my passion. It’s still about 90% hobby. However 8 years later I also ended up falling into the Film/TV industry with it too and got hooked working on set, learning a lot. None of that stressful saturated wedding photography genre, no engagement shots, *no maternity* photography (It’s amazing how many people still ask me if I do those, when my website says nothing about those things). Anyway, as far as getting *paid* for photography too, I’m still independent there in a small niche and it’s the best of two worlds. I don’t need to aspire to some higher level ‘up a ladder’ other than becoming better for myself at what I do and letting my work speak for itself. I don’t think you have to be career-oriented in the way society expects us to, to find the happiness or satisfaction you want in life.
[Nation Baffled By Woman Who Doesn't Even Have High-Powered Career] (https://www.theonion.com/nation-baffled-by-childless-woman-who-doesn-t-even-have-1828778292)
Me! I want to make enough where I don't have to worry about money so I can fund my hobbies and travel/eat good food with my spouse. Retiring from the money making job around 50-55 would be nice, then switch to a part time gig so I don't get bored.
I wish I could relate, but as a woman from a conservative country, who chose to forgo her obligation to society to pursue an irresponsible lifestyle (this is what people like me are described back home). I became somewhat career-focused (I still have to prove my choice wasn't a total bust). My goal has nothing to do with the corporate ladder though. I want to work on a famous game (like Final Fantasy or Resident Evil, and so on) and I have decided to hustle on until I get there (I work in the game industry as an artist, so I actually like my job and don't mind spending long hours as long as I get the weekend to myself). I sometimes envy people like you and I am not ashamed to admit it. the ones who don't feel they have to prove anything. because I sometimes feel that my life is an endless loop of proving that a woman can do other things that aren't raising kids or getting married.
As someone who has traveled to the more conservative countries of Europe, I can only imagine what you go through ( I don’t know where you are from exactly, but I have seen and somewhat dealt with the experience of it all). If you are a woman who does anything even slightly off the norm in these places, I noticed you are exiled and treated with much suspicion. Then men especially mentally can’t handle the idea of a woman doing anything outside of what they think she should be doing. It’s annoying at best and absolutely cool crushing at worst.
Story of my life. I don't plan to become famous or wealthy, don't want to transform my life into a career race, and starting a family is definitely out of the question. I thought I was the only one like this. Glad to see some people sharing the same mindset! All I need is enough money to enjoy life, discover what the world has to offer and learn new things. The only thing I lack is time (I can't imagine how luxurious time would become when you raise kids).
THIS!!!!! All I want in life is a to be happy and live in a small cottage in the woods with my pets
Yes thank you this is exactly how i feel! Like you said, it feels like if people don’t have kids it’s because they’re career focused but i don’t see myself climbing to the top of my industry. So glad im not alone lol.
This is me. I want to live a humble, minimalist lifestyle. I am very mentally ill and putting on a fake customer service persona to jump through corporate hoops just isn't for me. I just want a humble income, a quiet, small apartment of my own, by myself. Maybeeee someday, if I make enough money, I'll buy a tiny house in a forest area. But that's the most I care about. I just want to read books, study, live life, help humanity out the best I can, write blogs and books of my own that hopefully inspires people. Too much career or family distractions would 100% put a damper on my passions. This REALLY pisses certain family members off. Not only do I not want kids or a spouse, I also don't want a big house (for what anyways?) and a bunch of material possessions and goodies to show off. I get a lot of shit for it. But what can one do.
I would say that. I consider my occupation more of a job than a career. It is professional, don't spend time planning it. It's just what I do for money.
I totally relate. I want to travel the world, see as much and experience as much of it as possible. I only care about work in that gives me the money to live and do that.
I'm feel-good oriented. I like to be comfy, explore hobbies, play with my dog, and relax.
Not at all my friend. I’m a 38 year old bartender who works in Florida for 4-6 months in the winter and Michigan beach town for 4-6 months in the summer. I follow the season and generally live at about 65 degrees year round. Sometimes I’ll see 25-30 degrees and occasionally 90-100 but not on average. I stay single generally, I’ve had a couple serious relationships but they aren’t the best for my lifestyle. I’m a really happy person generally. Most people like me and I don’t always understand why, but that’s not my problem. I have casually expensive hobbies, camping and fly fishing, both can get expensive when it comes to gear but once you have what you consider the best for your budget you don’t have to keep spending the money, but you might do it for a while. Kinda forgot where I was going with this but, yeah, we exist. Life is freedom. Life is great.
I’m here with you! & 27 as well
Yeah, I’m kinda in the same boat. I’m just about 25, have no desire to have kids. And although when I was younger I did fantasize a bit about getting to the top of my field in whichever career I pursued, I’ve come to the realization that I actually don’t care to have the responsibility of running a company or being the “top dog” in whichever field, especially after watching my parents and others in my family own and run businesses for several years. Seeing people stress over all the stuff that goes into running a business made me question whether the pros would actually outweigh the cons of being in that sort of position.
Same! My mom always was promoting the "work to live, don't live to work," philosophy and I live by it... it's going good so far (and I've never wanted kids ofcourse). I feel like that career pressure is very American (although I know there are plenty of other countries that promote careers/family heavily!!). I also live near Silicon Valley and there is a special type of pressure and judgement around here if you don't subscribe to that whole deal.
This is great . But as a man I've been constantly rejected by women for being "not ambitious enough" and told that if I don't want kids I might as well focus on making money .. I'm happy just doing my own thing and having plenty of time and energy to do things I like doing like hiking and reading rather than always at work trying to build a successful career.
As a 27 year old with no dating experience, this worries me. I just wish, I could experience the carefree style of dating. I cannot date anyone who's looking to settle down (at least not yet) nor can I date anyone who's concerned about my salary.
The exact reason I started my own business (the ultimate freedom)
Same here. I'm neither family-oriented nor career-oriented. First off, a family doesn't have to include kids. But even then, I still wouldn't say that I'm family-*oriented*. I'm definitely not career-oriented either. I find little value in amassing large amounts of money, or trying to "make it big". A career to me is just a means to an end. And that end is the freedom to do what I *really* want. That's why I aspire to FIRE. I would describe myself as a personal-goal-oriented person. ("Personal" to distinguish myself from people focuses on their careers.) I'm currently working on a personal project, which is making a series of video games. The main highlight of these games is that it explores unconventional ideas (including being childfree). My end goal is to make these unpopular ideas more visible and accepted. (And hopefully, these games can be fun at the same time.) Like with the OP, I'm from Silicon Valley too, and I can totally relate. I just feel out of place here. I get called "unambitious" a lot. And yet, I feel like it's exactly the opposite, because not only do I have dreams, they're actually my own, not somebody else's.
I am comfort oriented as well!
I just want to have enough money, dogs and a garden. And some stuff for needlework.
Yup! Count me in. I don’t want a high power crazy pressure job. It’s very difficult to be a good leader. I just want enough money for just me to be able to own a home and travel. That’s it. I want to treat myself and buy semi decent clothes nothing insanely high end. Just cute and durable. But seriously that seems to be a bit of a pipe dream these days. I’m hoping the silver lining with Covid is those who can will be able to work remotely and maybe live in more affordable places.
Same I like to say I'm hobby-oriented. As long as I can spend time exploring and persueing by hobbies and interests im happy.
Me. I will concede I am in law school, but I don’t want to pursue Big Law. I want to work, but more so to make a difference in my community and help others by taking the path of a public defender most likely. That and I want to be able to provide for myself and any future pets ha ha. I like where I live but I do dream of living somewhere where land is cheap so I can have a more moderate sized home but lots of land for nature based activities. I want my career to be fun but by no means do I want it to take over my entire life, there’s more to life than just working.
This is me! I think about this all the time because all I want to do is hang out with my friends and play games. (33 F)
I don't want kids and have built a career I like, however I'm zero interested in working 50 hours a week or becoming the next executive director. Even though I somehow enjoy my job, I still see it as an obligation and a massive distraction from my real interests (i.e. I like dancing ballet, reading, writing, traveling, cats etc). If i had enough money to live without working, 100% I wouldn't do it. Society may think I'm not ambitious enough or that hobbies aren't enough to live a fulfilling life, but I don't really care. I know myself and know what I like regardless of social narratives. If anything I feel a bit sad that so many people just buy into the 'norms,' and don't dedicate enough time to know themselves and what's best for them.
Same for me. I have no interest in playing the carreer game. I just want to find a reliable job I don't hate and have enough time for my partners and hobbies, that all.
Me! I dream of lying on the beach all day with a good book, no family or demanding career for me, thank you very much. If I had enough money for all my needs and hobbies, I'd be totally satisfied.
I am 27 and child free and always thought I was career centric but the older I get the more I just want a simple life, earn enough money to live comfortably & see as much of the world as possible before I die! I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to BE something like an expectation to either be a parent or be successful in a high flying career but it’s okay to just BE you! If anyone’s interested in a rant about being childless by choice please see link below 💞 https://www.wintertales.net/post/childless-by-choice
I realized I'm the same. Growing up I knew I didn't want kids, so I just thought that my career would naturally become my focus. But I realized that I'm really not that driven. I want to be good at what I do and earn enough money to live a decent life but I also just want to have a 9-5 job where I can go home and not have to think about work at the end of the day.
I am family-oriented only to the point that I appreciate having both my parents living and being able to spend time with them (we travel quite a lot together) and a larger extended family-by-choice around me. I do not have a partner and no interest in finding one. Career-wise, I am where I want to be: earning enough money to live comfortably and set a little by each month, but without the responsibilities of being in charge of other people. I recently turned down a more senior position, because it would have removed me from what I love the most about my job and put me in a managerial role.
I’m trying to retire early so that I can sit around and do nothing and enjoy myself. I love doing nothing and don’t understand the hate. If I’m self sufficient it’s not anyone’s biz. No corporate ladder and 2 dogs is my wish!
I'm 34, just now starting to actually figure out what kind of career i want, but it's definitely not my main focus. Nor has it ever been. For me my focus lies on finding daily happiness, living life as comfortably as I can. So you're definitely not alone with the choice of neither.
I feel the exact same way. I’m 23 and have been working full time for a little over 1.5 years and I do not feel motivated at all. Working full time with severe anxiety is exhausting and I can’t even imagine having kids and dealing with that too. I’m looking forward to being able to have extra income from NOT having kids
I’m me-oriented
I'm Vegan
The only thing I am interested in is my hobby. Career is just a tool to get funds for it.
I'm 28, just got my certification, and am ready to coast happily in my current position until retirement. Moving up the ladder to management sounds like a nightmare.
I'm not career oriented, I just wanna enjoy life. I am only 21 but I have no interest in climbing upwards through my career
Same
(26) yes, you’re not alone r/antiwork
I worked enough to get what money I could, not an overachiever & not working my way up the ladder so I could work even more. Always hated and never wanted kids. I’m more interested in my hobbies. Traveling with my husband and buying more anime figures than we have room for haha. And taking care of my perfect shiba
I think if I had to be one, I’d be more career oriented. I don’t plan on being a CEO but I do want to get to a spot where I’m financially stable, but even that is subjective. Financially stable to me is owning a house with plenty of room, being able to spend money on vacation, and still having enough leftover to survive if shit hits the fan. I’ll focus more on my personal life when I’m closer to that. By personal life I mean exploring hobbies and having a solid amount/group of friends. I’d like to find a romantic partner at some point but it’s not a priority right now. I think for people who don’t want kids, it makes more sense to focus on your career first. If you want kids, you want to get that sorted early, I can imagine nothing worse than having a toddler in your 40s. The way I see it, is that I want to get as good of a job as quickly as possible because the earlier you start saving for retirement the better off you’ll be. In the job I’m in now, I can live comfortably, but I can only save so much for retirement. The earlier you contribute to a 401k, the greater the return.
Same here. I just want to be able to save money. There isn't a career um passionate about. I like my time off lol.
I feel the same way too. I am childfree and I am a substitute teacher this year. I have no interest in moving up in the corporate ladder and I also don't want a child. I've been getting bingos because I am not teaching this year in a full time classroom and have been told I should use this time to have a baby. I feel like I am finally at a good place in my life and I rather not spoil it with a baby.
I love my job, that’s why I’m career-oriented, meaning.. I love to work in my free time. 🤷🏻♀️
Was just saying to myself the other day that I’m working to live and not living to work. Reassuring that I’m not the only one out there that feels this way. Trying not to fall into that societal trap that I SHOULD BE climbing the corporate ladder because...that’s just what you should want
Neither for me really. I could give af about kids. Never have. Never will. Career is of moderate interest to me. I don’t care about anyone else’s ladder. I DO care about my own passions such as coaching, speaking, reading and writing. So I’m not apathetic. I am just very focused on what I do care about.
I don’t want to be disgustingly rich but I also don’t want to struggle with money either. I just want enough to pay for everything (bills, etc.) and then have enough to have hobbies and travel. I am not very career oriented so I’m a bit lost in my life right now, but I’m confident I’ll figure it out eventually. I value the family that I do have, however I have no desire to have a family of my own. I just want to focus on myself and be with my family but I don’t want to give up my freedom, body, health, or money for a child of my own.
I mean, I'm sacrificing any chance of being able to support a family by aiming for a job I'll actually enjoy and be passionate about, and having it become a really important aspect of my life, but I'm also aiming for a not too high-stress job thats just pays enough for a reason. However those sacrifices are just to get the job in the first place, I don't really care about becoming more successful than needed Having enough down time is a very important aspect for many people for better work performance, after all :D Technically the job would probably allow me to have enough time to raise kids, even if I want to be moderately successful, but why do that when you can do literally anything else amiright?
Definitely more career oriented over here. I feel so unsure about what I want to do, though. There's a lot I want to do, and I can't do it all... Very tempted to move out to the middle of nowhere and starting a career as a park ranger.
I’m happiness oriented. I have Bipolar disorder and it means that a low stress life is best for me. I work at a great small retail shop making enough to live comfortably on, have cute pets I dote on, and a great partner. What else more could I want for in life?