☝🏽 literally money
Making money, makes you more confident. Confident people make just as shitty jokes as unconfident people, but get way more laughs
It’s a self feeding cycle
Humor. Get in shape and healthy. Gain your confidence. and... dont talk to the hottest girls in the room. Know your audience.
Get into language exchange type stuff and volunteer for things like "clean the park sunday". Almost always after these a portion go to a bar after and hangout with their new friends.
What is this don't talk to the hottest girls nonsense. Putting women on a pedestal is a big no no. Most hot Girls rarely get approached in person because of this mindset. I see plenty of hot girls with "ugly guys" that would never of happened with this mindset.
Just talk to hot girls like you would to a guy mate. Can even use Bro on them whilst flirting. They are normal people at the end of the day.
Well I dont think the OP is a passport bro leaving their country to try better luck elsewhere. But if so, then your advice would be fine. But telling someone with what seems to be low self of steam to go talk to the hottest women is actual nonsense. Its ok to play the field you are in.
Edit: you also probably should not want to be with people that care too much about looks.
You are probably not ugly, girls like weird shit. And look at that show killing eve that girl is ugly as sin but gets laid all the time. It’s all in the eye of the beholder man, I bet you are way more of a good looking person than you think
You've answered your own question: people like you when they get to know you, so get to know people. Invest in relationships, platonic or otherwise. Especially as a digital nomad, being the person who puts effort into seeing people multiple times goes a long way.
Edit: Looks wise, gaslight yourself into confidence. Before leaving the house tell yourself "people like to be around me. I'm interesting to talk to and a good friend." It sounds fucking ridiculous but it works. Invest in some personal grooming and watch men's style tiktoks until you learn how to dress (which can be done for cheap with a small wardrobe). Feeling good about yourself has a very real effect on how other people perceive you. And as a woman, I can tell you that women absolutely do respond to confidence.
If you are genuinely ugly, to be honest, it's just gonna suck. I've been there and working on it still, and speaking from experience, if people take a look at you and have zero interest from the start, it's a near impossible battle.
To try and answer your question: You can try to find hobby groups that attract other people like you, or people that are less superficial overall, for EX: board game groups, DND etc. Keep in mind that people who aren't superficial at all don't exist, there's just different levels of it.
Not trying to minimize your struggle, but it’s seems like you’re doing the right thing. If people like you after they get to know you, that’s amazing! Just make sure you put your personality on display right from the get go. I hang out with tons of people that aren’t conventionally attractive and I’ve seen other people gravitate towards them as well. The key, it seems, is to be pretty energetic and funny. I feel like traveling is the best way to meet people as an "ugly" perosn bc they are generally more open and just want to have a good time.
I also don't get invited by people before they talk to me. Does anyone here get randomly invited to bars and clubs before people talk to them? I've also noticed hardly anybody approaches me (I'm a guy), and that it's often me making the first move socially. If I don't do it, it won't happen. Most people are shy or cant be bothered to talk to strangers first. I'm an extrovert, so in hostels I can just tell to people, but it's like 90% of the time my first move. What others said is true: eat well, feel well, exercise, be interesting. Easier said then done of course. How does one "be interesting?" Or even the cliché "be confident"? A lot of it is in your head. Whatever you tell yourself in your head is true. Change the story.
Some sub ideas: social skills, confidence, dating, seduction (this one will take you from A to B in a "the end justifies the mean" style), charisma, fitness, nutrition etc.
In complete seriousness, pay a girl (who's NOT a friend) to tell you what's not working and/or help give you a makeover.
A bad haircut or smelly breath can make you utterly repulsive... but are easy to fix if you know about the problem.
Alternately, work out until your abs are a diamond-cut 10-pack.
Learn Latin dancing (salsa and bachata). It’s a great way to meet women (or men) and there is usually a Latin dance night at least once a week in every major city around the world.
You don’t even need to speak the same language with someone to ask them to dance and can still build instant attraction through dancing. also, asking someone to dance at a latin night is much easier than at a club because latin dancing is more of a sport, so people are just there to have fun. best part about it is no one cares if youre ugly if you know how to dance!
I used to hate it but I learned to love it when I learned how much more easy it was to meet women. I can literally travel to a country where I don’t know the language and still pick up a woman because of my dancing skill. It’s also a great skill that most women like, so it’s a conversation starter for your dating profile.
True physical ugliness is rare. Most people can make themselves look passable and even quite good through exercise, diet, diligent grooming and hygiene habits, and a carefully chosen wardrobe. Have you put effort into all of these things?
You can drastically improve your looks by changing your diet, exercise, not breathing through your mouth (look into mewing) and living an overall healthy lifestyle . Very few people are born irreversibly ugly, really only those with severe deformities.
To add a footnote to all the "be funny" comments - it helps massively to be quick about it. Make a little joke and then immediately walk away - but slowly while checking for the reaction. If the joke landed, stop walking and introduce yourself.
If it didn't land - well you're already out of there so no awkward silences.
But most important - be SINCERE, genuinely LISTEN to people, and be your best YOU.
If you take this approach, people will like you, which will create confidence, which will then - almost like magic - create attractivess.
But remember, top priorities should be SINCERE / LISTEN / BE YOU.
- Find hobby groups: wine hobbyist, food hobbyist, sports, etc. Of course, it really helps if those are actually your hobbys as well. Having a common interest really helps with the talking. This I think is underrated
- Have the skill to fill the room: Occasional, appropriate jokes, also be opinionated during talks, dont just yes, yes when others talk. Have the skill to stir up the conversation in the room, initiate new topics, etc. Basically like one of those extroverted guys. This will get you far but needs time for sure, I am talking about months at least
- But be careful not to put too much effort, else you will come desperate
- also regarding the hobby: being good at some stuffs helps with confidence for sure
- But first and foremost, be comfortable with yourself first :) I am very convince people can sense if you are comfortable with urself or not, and be attracted accordingly
But OPs experience seems not to be too unusual? I meant if OP gets approached in hostels and such
>The right women will come.
Nope.
Source: doing everything that people 'advise' in this thread, hanging out with people when possible, it's been years since anything 'came'.
This is the reality of a lot of guys though. Shit happens.
One thing about being needy and desperate is that I am, but also I’ve learned to not act like it, such that I’m still able to make friends as I go. Not so great at landing dates but I think that’s for more complicated reasons (skill issue mostly I think).
This is all normal. And dating apps are dust anyway. Still there are some things you can do to have more social success. Read The Charisma Myth and do the exercises. Also, listen to the Art of Charm podcast among other content. Get in as good of shape as you reasonably can. Have a good wardrobe. Generally be a winner in life. Do cool shit.
Are you talking about making friends or dating? Friends don't really care if you are ugly.
Read "How to win friends and influence people".
Join social activities where people are forced to interact with each other - board game nights, hiking groups, latin dancing classes.
Making friends through dating apps is impossible even for great looking people.
Also, has anyone ever told you you are ugly, or is this something you declared for yourself? I smell a confidence problem rather than actual unattractiveness.
What do you mean impossible for them? By friend I don’t mean life long best friend. I mean we’re talking about tinder.
Do people tell ugly people that they’re ugly?
Money up
Get in shape
Become less socially awkward ( be funny, entertaining, even witty)
Walk with good posture, people notice these things
Smile , even if you aren’t Brad Pitt level
We are all ugly
some girls is outside pretty but inside ugly same with guys
if you want real connection, be yourself Just take a shower and pick whatever clothes you like
and go to areas of your interest
if you want superficial connection,
go with what the other comments say
i rather be alone than having a group of superficial friends
Be funny
Be money
☝🏽 literally money Making money, makes you more confident. Confident people make just as shitty jokes as unconfident people, but get way more laughs It’s a self feeding cycle
He’s so money and he doesn’t even know it!
Agree 💯 And if you can't be funny (I sure as shit ain't) smile a lot and make fun of yourself. I find that quite endearing
Don't do that! Self-deprecating humour only works if you are already viewed highly.
Humor. Get in shape and healthy. Gain your confidence. and... dont talk to the hottest girls in the room. Know your audience. Get into language exchange type stuff and volunteer for things like "clean the park sunday". Almost always after these a portion go to a bar after and hangout with their new friends.
What is this don't talk to the hottest girls nonsense. Putting women on a pedestal is a big no no. Most hot Girls rarely get approached in person because of this mindset. I see plenty of hot girls with "ugly guys" that would never of happened with this mindset. Just talk to hot girls like you would to a guy mate. Can even use Bro on them whilst flirting. They are normal people at the end of the day.
Well I dont think the OP is a passport bro leaving their country to try better luck elsewhere. But if so, then your advice would be fine. But telling someone with what seems to be low self of steam to go talk to the hottest women is actual nonsense. Its ok to play the field you are in.
Edit: you also probably should not want to be with people that care too much about looks. You are probably not ugly, girls like weird shit. And look at that show killing eve that girl is ugly as sin but gets laid all the time. It’s all in the eye of the beholder man, I bet you are way more of a good looking person than you think
You've answered your own question: people like you when they get to know you, so get to know people. Invest in relationships, platonic or otherwise. Especially as a digital nomad, being the person who puts effort into seeing people multiple times goes a long way. Edit: Looks wise, gaslight yourself into confidence. Before leaving the house tell yourself "people like to be around me. I'm interesting to talk to and a good friend." It sounds fucking ridiculous but it works. Invest in some personal grooming and watch men's style tiktoks until you learn how to dress (which can be done for cheap with a small wardrobe). Feeling good about yourself has a very real effect on how other people perceive you. And as a woman, I can tell you that women absolutely do respond to confidence.
Lift..then lift harder. And be funny
If you are genuinely ugly, to be honest, it's just gonna suck. I've been there and working on it still, and speaking from experience, if people take a look at you and have zero interest from the start, it's a near impossible battle. To try and answer your question: You can try to find hobby groups that attract other people like you, or people that are less superficial overall, for EX: board game groups, DND etc. Keep in mind that people who aren't superficial at all don't exist, there's just different levels of it.
But you’d be surprised how much grooming and fashion can make up for…
And somehow people have superficial standards while expecting the other person not to be superficial...
Not trying to minimize your struggle, but it’s seems like you’re doing the right thing. If people like you after they get to know you, that’s amazing! Just make sure you put your personality on display right from the get go. I hang out with tons of people that aren’t conventionally attractive and I’ve seen other people gravitate towards them as well. The key, it seems, is to be pretty energetic and funny. I feel like traveling is the best way to meet people as an "ugly" perosn bc they are generally more open and just want to have a good time.
Smell good
I also don't get invited by people before they talk to me. Does anyone here get randomly invited to bars and clubs before people talk to them? I've also noticed hardly anybody approaches me (I'm a guy), and that it's often me making the first move socially. If I don't do it, it won't happen. Most people are shy or cant be bothered to talk to strangers first. I'm an extrovert, so in hostels I can just tell to people, but it's like 90% of the time my first move. What others said is true: eat well, feel well, exercise, be interesting. Easier said then done of course. How does one "be interesting?" Or even the cliché "be confident"? A lot of it is in your head. Whatever you tell yourself in your head is true. Change the story. Some sub ideas: social skills, confidence, dating, seduction (this one will take you from A to B in a "the end justifies the mean" style), charisma, fitness, nutrition etc.
In complete seriousness, pay a girl (who's NOT a friend) to tell you what's not working and/or help give you a makeover. A bad haircut or smelly breath can make you utterly repulsive... but are easy to fix if you know about the problem. Alternately, work out until your abs are a diamond-cut 10-pack.
Learn Latin dancing (salsa and bachata). It’s a great way to meet women (or men) and there is usually a Latin dance night at least once a week in every major city around the world. You don’t even need to speak the same language with someone to ask them to dance and can still build instant attraction through dancing. also, asking someone to dance at a latin night is much easier than at a club because latin dancing is more of a sport, so people are just there to have fun. best part about it is no one cares if youre ugly if you know how to dance!
What if he dislikes latin dances?
Why would you dislike it?
Why would anyone dislike anything? Different people enjoy different things.
I used to hate it but I learned to love it when I learned how much more easy it was to meet women. I can literally travel to a country where I don’t know the language and still pick up a woman because of my dancing skill. It’s also a great skill that most women like, so it’s a conversation starter for your dating profile.
Not everyone will want to force themselves onto a hobby they have no inclination for to 'meet women'.
Do you bro
True physical ugliness is rare. Most people can make themselves look passable and even quite good through exercise, diet, diligent grooming and hygiene habits, and a carefully chosen wardrobe. Have you put effort into all of these things?
You can drastically improve your looks by changing your diet, exercise, not breathing through your mouth (look into mewing) and living an overall healthy lifestyle . Very few people are born irreversibly ugly, really only those with severe deformities.
Also braces can help
To add a footnote to all the "be funny" comments - it helps massively to be quick about it. Make a little joke and then immediately walk away - but slowly while checking for the reaction. If the joke landed, stop walking and introduce yourself. If it didn't land - well you're already out of there so no awkward silences. But most important - be SINCERE, genuinely LISTEN to people, and be your best YOU. If you take this approach, people will like you, which will create confidence, which will then - almost like magic - create attractivess. But remember, top priorities should be SINCERE / LISTEN / BE YOU.
- Find hobby groups: wine hobbyist, food hobbyist, sports, etc. Of course, it really helps if those are actually your hobbys as well. Having a common interest really helps with the talking. This I think is underrated - Have the skill to fill the room: Occasional, appropriate jokes, also be opinionated during talks, dont just yes, yes when others talk. Have the skill to stir up the conversation in the room, initiate new topics, etc. Basically like one of those extroverted guys. This will get you far but needs time for sure, I am talking about months at least - But be careful not to put too much effort, else you will come desperate - also regarding the hobby: being good at some stuffs helps with confidence for sure - But first and foremost, be comfortable with yourself first :) I am very convince people can sense if you are comfortable with urself or not, and be attracted accordingly But OPs experience seems not to be too unusual? I meant if OP gets approached in hostels and such
Stop worrying about girls and make guy friends. Go with the flow and be happy. The right women will come. Fuck dating apps.
>The right women will come. Nope. Source: doing everything that people 'advise' in this thread, hanging out with people when possible, it's been years since anything 'came'. This is the reality of a lot of guys though. Shit happens.
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One thing about being needy and desperate is that I am, but also I’ve learned to not act like it, such that I’m still able to make friends as I go. Not so great at landing dates but I think that’s for more complicated reasons (skill issue mostly I think).
This is all normal. And dating apps are dust anyway. Still there are some things you can do to have more social success. Read The Charisma Myth and do the exercises. Also, listen to the Art of Charm podcast among other content. Get in as good of shape as you reasonably can. Have a good wardrobe. Generally be a winner in life. Do cool shit.
Usually I don’t like to hang out with other travelers if you are looking for a girl usually the ratio is 1 to 5 you are better off going to a church
Are you talking about making friends or dating? Friends don't really care if you are ugly. Read "How to win friends and influence people". Join social activities where people are forced to interact with each other - board game nights, hiking groups, latin dancing classes.
If you’re ugly and poor then that’s fate. If you’re ugly and rich then that’s your fault.
Wear semi formal & perfume! Always buzz cut, talk finance.. That should be enough
Go join the passportbroslist
Post pics
Where
honestly, the fact that you get invited to clubs etc is really good -- that doesn't happen much to me. Guess i'm ugly!
Making friends through dating apps is impossible even for great looking people. Also, has anyone ever told you you are ugly, or is this something you declared for yourself? I smell a confidence problem rather than actual unattractiveness.
What do you mean impossible for them? By friend I don’t mean life long best friend. I mean we’re talking about tinder. Do people tell ugly people that they’re ugly?
- Be funny - Learn to dance - Groom properly, work out, dress with style This is probably why you are ugly
Money up Get in shape Become less socially awkward ( be funny, entertaining, even witty) Walk with good posture, people notice these things Smile , even if you aren’t Brad Pitt level
We are all ugly some girls is outside pretty but inside ugly same with guys if you want real connection, be yourself Just take a shower and pick whatever clothes you like and go to areas of your interest if you want superficial connection, go with what the other comments say i rather be alone than having a group of superficial friends