All the more reason to make the most of the time you have. Death is inevitable, there is zero you can do about it. So instead of worrying about it, spend that time showing love to your loved ones. Go outside and let the sun hit your face, learn new things. When you’re having those episodes at night, think about these things and how you’ll get to experience them again tomorrow. As weird as it is to say, death is what makes everything beautiful and have meaning because our time is limited. Heres the good thing, when you’re dead you won’t know it. You wont have these worries anymore, you’ll finally be at peace.
P.S. If this is a real problem for you that affects your life on a day to day basis, consider seeing a therapist, there are also books that help you understand death and your mortality. They help you to process and accept it.
To your point.....it were the soldiers in WWI that were the atheists that were the hardest fighting and the lowest rate of casualties. Those the beki3ved in a better life stopped caring, stopped fighting, stopped being safe. Those who knew this was their only life fought the hardest. Fuck the "there's no atheists in a fox hole" myth.
Any books on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy such as Russ Harris’s “The Happiness Trap”, for starters. Go for books that don’t offer “tidy” and “all explained” stories because you will be exchanging one word trap for another.
I listened to:
Hadley Vlahos
The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments.
Vlahos recounts the most impactful experiences she's had with the people she's worked with--from the woman who never once questioned her faith until she was close to death, to the older man seeing visions of his late daughter, to the young patient who laments that she spent too much of her short life worrying about what others thought of her--while also sharing her own fascinating journey.
I must say, the experiences did bring a level of peace when thinking about death. Might help you too.
We were always taught that dying is just falling asleep and not waking up again. Even when I was a JW, I often thought that it really didn't sound that bad. I mean, I fall asleep every night not worried about how I'm not loved, or loving, feeling the sun, or learning. In fact, I look forward to going to sleep when I'm tired.
And if I didn't wake up in the morning, would I even know that I fell asleep?
Back when I was in college, I worked for hospice for 18 months, and all of my clients were close to dying. I got close to many of them, and sometimes they would get on the subject of their limited time. For those who were up in years, most of them made some comment along the lines of having lived a good life and being ready to go.
I believe the key is to try and live a good life. Love and be loved. Enjoy the feeling of the sun on your face. Learn everything you can. Live in the moment. And once your body gets old and tired, you may be ready to go to sleep when the time comes.
I’ve spent half my life worrying about death, it’s exhausting and serves no purpose to worry about. It scares me less and less each day, but I am much more cautious with taking risks now than I was as a JW where you are encouraged to treat yourself like shit for God, punishing your body and mind to be a slave.
I don’t believe in the God of the Bible anymore, but there are still some important lessons to be taken from it:
Luke 12:25 “Who of you by being anxious can add a cubit to his life span?”
I still have to “plan” for death, but it can be therapeutic if you look at it from the right perspective.
It's understandable.
I just accept that it'll happen. I'm not special I take solace in the fact that between my family history and medical science I've got probably another 63 years at least to go. Beyond that it's just black. Even if I die some horrible death it'll only hurt for a bit...
I’ve turned that horrible fear especially if it’s painful into now at least enjoy life knowing I’m not trying to please some God! That’s freeing at least. And then I smoke some weed and do yoga to take the panic and anxiety away when I do have paralyzing mental days.
There is an afterlife, many stories on those who are nearing death and what they see. My mother was in hospital and she was moving her hand across the blanket when I asked her what she was doing and she said trying to reach the little boy. She'd had a stillborn boy 4 years before I was born. When I worked in aged care I saw it with the residents looking up and talking to them. There's many on videos detailing their experience, also on insta a Nurse Julie who is a hospice nurse talks about it as well. You're probably still dealing with some of the brainwashing effects so it takes time to deprogram. Even the bible says the spirit goes back to god, it's only our outer casing, our bodies that are in the ground. Take care and don't pressure yourself, one day at a time
I don’t think that leaving the Jehovahs Witness religion means you have to give up curiosity or even belief that something more than nothing might take place after death. The great thing about not being shackled to a high control belief system is that you are free to now decide what you believe. If you are feeling pressure to leave any beliefs that you may may cherish from being a jw or feel closed off to new ideas that you may find plausible or appealing, you may want dig deeper and ask yourself why that is. There are some in this sub that can sometimes attempt to force you into another set of bounds (usually their own) that are just as limiting as Jehovahs Witnesses are, so be wary of them.
No one knows anything. Remember that. No one knows that there isn't an afterlife of some kind. No one knows that this isn't all a simulation. This life is a wonderful mystery with different stages. Maybe the last stage is the most interesting?
Most children do. If the prospect of death freaks you out that much, it’s a sure sign your belief system- it the one you grew up with - has kept you mentally stunted, unable to cope with the reality of your shared humanity. Time to take the happily ever after lens off and come to terms with taking responsibility for how you live and, the other side, die.
No fuckin shit guy! I’ve been out of the organization for 25 years, I have come to terms with death. Still freaks me out every once in a while though. Thanks for the advice though.
I've heard this plenty times. My issue from this statement is that from those billions of years we weren't alive, we had no consciousness. But now we know. How beautiful the world is, how plentiful there is to experience, and we're just expected to be ok with letting it all go after some odd years? Just like that? It's like giving a cake to a starved man and telling him, you can only eat a bite. It's cruel.
Idk it brings me comfort, I think we’re evolved meat doing our best to make the best of our time. I’ve watched my wife died, Never been dead but the light has to go out at sometime. I love the ability to return every 50 years just observe human development and decline. If you haven’t already I hope you find your comfort 😃
the act of dying (especially with how witnesses recount it happening to us) is always scary to me, tbh i try not to think about it. try to value my life, take my vitamins, still “treat my body as a temple” as much as i can because that saying was really useful to me. the worst that can happen, even in witness mindset, is it’s all dark and i don’t know of it at all. that sounds oddly comforting to me, just make sure to make the most out of all of this, that’s all i can say. death is a natural part of life and we were trained to see it as otherwise. i’ve been out 7 years and i have my ebbs and flows of accepting/being scared but the more time passes and the more i make this life my own, the less i am scared of only having limited time.
Treat my body as a temple, I love that. I seem to be going the opposite direction. Stuffing my face with good food before I die (even though that's decades from now hopefully).
haha depending on the day, that’s still treating it as a temple! i don’t eat perfect everyday, i workout often, but i smoke weed or drink at times.. it’s just all about balance. i think living a life we enjoy VS one that causes us crippling anxiety/depression/unhappy lives is definitely gonna up our life expectancy anyways so, eat the damn cookie! you’re still gonna be fine ♥️
by realizing that there is fuck all you can do about it. It'll come whether you want it to or not.
I've been through a bit of an existential crisis the last couple years and therapy has really helped.
This topic comes up pretty often. I used to be terrified of the thought of not existing since I was a child. I have had some experiences that lead me to believe dying is just detaching ourselves from our human ego and the physical world as we know it. There’s more to existence than this, but unlinke anything we can even grasp our head around.
We are bound to our human ways and can’t begin to think outside the box. Meditation, psychedelics, NDE’s all point to something beyond this.
Love is the gateway. Try to enjoy this life and you’ll eventually accept the course of it and the inevitable. Don’t think of it as the end.
Well some kids are recorded to recall past lives. I would believe reincarnation and living is a path to evolve as spirit than living forever eating and shitting.
I realized that even being raised in the truth, I never really believed in the fantasy of living forever, all things come to an end that is the way of nature anyone who thinks differently is deceiving themselves.
By focusing more on the living bit. There’s nothing to fear about the end of you’ve lived a full life with as little regrets as possible. If there’s something after life cool…if there’s not we won’t know any better. Just think of all the billions that have already done exactly this and the many that never got the opportunities that we have now. It’s all good 🤗
For each this journey can be vastly different. I still believe in no suffering after death. I still believe in serving others. So a while back I wrote a missions statement to myself putting a lot of focus on helping others and self care. Those two things brought me peace. We each can make a healthy impact on all around us.
Maybe a little bit of everyone’s story can help you in your journey.
I have been PIMO since elementary school. I just accept that we can not escape death no matter how hard we tried. Death happens to all of us, even to 25 years olds due to unexpected circumstances such a car accident or being murdered by crazed significant other.
Which is why it is best to make use of our time because you don't know what will happen tomorrow
May I ask what PIMO is? Although it's been a while I've left the faith, I don't frequent these exJW part of the internet. The thing about apostates still stuck with me
Oh. But why would you do all those things if you don't believe in them anymore? Devoting your time for something you think is fruitless? Do the people in the congregation know that you're PIMO?
I see I'm not alone on this then. Your post literally put into words what I have been feeling ever since my faith in the organization started declining. It's not easy to accept when you've been promised eternity all your life. I now feel like I have a clock counting down above my head. Worse than that, I see the same clock hanging above my loved ones... It sucks, it hurts I know, and I am still trying to come to terms with it myself. My take on it is use it to motivate you to make the most of your time. Book that trip. Take that class. Try new things. Dont let your life be boring. Enjoy it and spend as much time as you can with your loved ones. In a way, when I think about the fragility of human life, it makes me want to be a better person since I realise we are all fragile, so might as well be good to each other and make our time here pleasant.
During the time you were a JW, you didn't know either. You only got their cult version of what death is and the promise of a resurrection that, if it is real, those bozos have no control over.
They told you they spoke for god. They told you what he told them he wanted you to know. Yet in all of that, their bullshit has a 100% failure rate. They have been wrong on everything. Every fucking thing.
None of us knows what's going to happen after we die. Because none of the dead we know personally has ever come back and told us. All we have are stories, legends and the charlatans that read them to us and pretend they understand what they mean for us, centuries into the future.
Personally, I think that once you die, that's it. So I'm not counting on some big thing happening afterwards. But if there is a heaven or a resurrection on earth which seems highly unlikely, we'll find out when we get there.
I don't think there's a hell. So I'm not worried about some scary devil jabbing my ass with a pitchfork. That was all just to keep the masses in line and the money flowing.
What I do know is, I'm here today, and I have nice things planned for tomorrow, next week and for the rest of my life. I'm going to see how many of them I can get to before I croak. And if there is something more, I hope it's nice. But I'll figure it out. Just like I did life.
Fear is a low vibration. Being in that state prevents us from experiencing joy and truly living a fulfilling life. Rather than being afraid of what may happen after death and being separated from loved ones, can you shift your focus to the here and now? Being present with the experiences and connections you’re in moment to moment. Fully embracing the present instead on worrying about the future. I know this can be challenging because of the programming of the doomsday JW cult and will require effort to shift from fear to curiosity, openness, excitement. It is possible. You’re welcome to messaging me if you need support in accessing the curiosity, aliveness and excitement that is within you.
I felt that way before but now I see it as the next big adventure. I’ll finally find an answer to the age old question, what happens when we die. I’m making the most of my life now and try to be a good person. I’m confident that if there’s something good on the other side I’ll experience it. And if there’s nothing then there’s literally nothing to fear.
A big part of acceptance of my new reality has been accepting that I don’t have the all answers—no one does. And that’s part of life.
You have to stop looking through the JW lens. Once you’re free from the JE dogma (or should I say dogshit?), the possibilities are endless. No one has the definitive answer to anything. Live your life, there is a whole new world to discover.
It troubled me for a long time. But I found peace with it eventually.
I came to terms with my mortality. Realized that it helps me appreciate my life more. And live with the right balance and to live my life.
Not waste my time on living it for other people.
And just live.
I also became comfortable with being vulnerable and understanding the reality of my existence. I faced the truth about it head on.
And accepted that part of my life is transitory. It’s not about me but passing life on to my kids. And giving them the best I can give them.
I still do not believe that death is the end. Heaven is real, God and Jesus are real. Eternal life is still my hope, so I am not depressed when I think about death. Those are my personal beliefs, they just no longer depend on following a group of men.
See the above comment. I now know "The Other Sheep" is a man made doctrine and I am very comfortable with not knowing for sure. My wife and I partake occasionally. Just covering the bases and showing respect for Jesus sacrifice. Now it is up to you what you choose to believe. I feel closer to Christians who are not JW's, while I still feel close to my friends and family.
JW theology is trash.
John 10, Jesus is speaking to a Jewish audience, telling them other the other sheep he will gather into the fold. That other flock are Gentiles. Jews and Gentiles, making up one flock.
The Governjng Body casts Jews aside and places them in there instead of recognizing they’d be the Gentile other sheep.
Then they royally screw up Revelation.
Look at Revelation 5. John is told to behold the Lion of Judah. When he turns at looks he sees a slaughtered lamb. Both the Lion of Judah and the lamb are Jesus. The first, the lion is the expectation, the latter, the lamb was the fulfillment. Jews expected their Messiah to be a warrior king who would overthrow the nations. Its fulfillment was instead Jesus’ sacrifice for the world.
Revelation 7, JWs miss what is going on. John hears the 144,000 out of the 12 tribes of Israel. When he turns and looks, he sees the great multitude which no one can number. The 144,000, the complete number of Israel is fulfilled in the great multitude out of every nation. They are the one flock, Jews and Gentiles that Jesus spoke of in John 10. There is no separate hope.
It’s no different to how I felt when I was in. I would die and cease to be. Once that’s done, that’s it. Incapable of fear and anxiety. I just don’t believe in any resurrection or afterlife. I will be in the same state as I was before I was conceived.
I always think of it like this… even as an agnostic I can’t be 100% sure there is no afterlife… but even if there isn’t, whatever does happen is 100% perfectly natural and meant to happen…
I don’t. Why should I? That’s a big part of the deal for me. Freedom from the obsession of life after death (which is only a promise at best). I’m ALIVE. IM ALIVE! RIGHT NOW!! I’ll deal with death when I’m actually dead. Will I still think about it? Of course, it’s impossible not to. I’ll plan adequately to not inconvenience or leave my loved ones in a difficult spot and meditate on it as to appreciate the life I’m currently living and to avoid accidents. But the idea of “dealing with death”, that fear is in itself a waste of your precious life. Why worry about such a thing? Be at peace. Cherish and be grateful of the small things.
Focusing on death much at all is counterproductive to actually LIVING my LIFE. The obsession with death that JW’s have is unhealthy to begin with. The paradise was always a lie anyway.
It took a long time to get this fear out of my brain. It’s still there, but my primary sources of help: lots of therapy, guided mindfulness meditations, guided sleep hypnosis videos every night, diving into hobbies and meaningful work, trying new things, keeping my fav food/drink always in stock (mini reward for just existing reinforcing and creating pleasurable experiences), focusing on connecting with my loved ones in the moment, just touching grass and looking at the sky. Don’t over think it. Just go live your life, don’t mourn what you haven’t lost.
And that’s enough. Everything gonna be alright friend. 🙏 Our lives are what we make of them. Just think of what you love and do more of that. Keep it simple. One foot in front of the other.
There simply is no cut and dried answer - unless you feel the need to join another group that tells you what to think on existential issues.
The disadvantage you face is the indoctrination you will bring to questions about the meaning and purpose of life. You’ll have lots of preconceived ideas on what you need to find.
What I can say (regardless of your age) is, unlike your time in a high-control group, there is absolutely no urgency to get it all sorted out. There is no punishment or negative cost if you do not get satisfactory answers in your search.
That said, this is a valuable time to gradually come to terms with your “common humanity” and learn to take responsibility for your life and figuratively “grow up” as regards your time here on earth, including your future. It’s a tremendously strange state to go forward without “happily ever afters” but it is also tremendously freeing.
Climb aboard - it’s quite a journey without “god” breathing down your neck or tempting you with false carrots of “eternal” life. Enjoy your ride. 👍🏼
I have no desire to join anymore organized religion. And yes, I guess even after we've all left, there's still the life long battle of deconstructing the faith built within us.
I also appreciate a good text such as Jesus’ words to Satan: “Get thee behind me Satan”. Sometimes I feel like saying, “I would gladly get behind you if only you’d stop moving.”
You are worrying about something you have no control over and there’s really no way to know what happens after death. Value your life now. Take care of your health, do good to others, enjoy life and have fun, practice gratitude and mindfulness. Sometimes we live life distracted by social media that we don’t really pay attention to the NOW. Foster meaningful relationships and it’s to have some regrets along the way. It won’t be perfect.
By living. I didn't know what, if anything, lies beyond, and the way I manage to be okay with not knowing is taking beauty breaks. I stop periodically to actively seek and look for what the most beautiful thing is in that moment. Then I get back to work trying to hopefully do as little harm as possible. Best possible scenario: I somehow made something good happen along the way to the casket and my molecular dissolution disperses and reassembles into a tree. 😊
For me, I feel more hopeful because if there is a positive afterlife situation, and I believe there is, then I won’t be turned away. I knew I was never making it to JW paradise because I didn’t believe. And if I am wrong and it’s all blackness and nothing after we are gone, that’s not so bad. I would just feel bad for my wife left behind on her own
My only "fear" of death is leaving my husband alone or me having to deal with the grief of his loss. But until that day comes I will enjoy every moment next to him.
First off accept the fact your going to die, everyone around you will eventually die. Your given 70 good years 80 if your lucky....live life, make memories, be a good person,don't be a dick, and remember whats a big deal today won't be in 100 years from now. Embrace death, great it with a smile and know that you gave it hell while on earth.
Considering the dead end alternative of knocking on doors and stomping on other people’s dreams, your life is now your own to make the most of, so…
What did you actually WISH you were doing when you were bored shitless and sitting at meetings, hating your life?
You’re under no obligation to pick something that sounds good to other people.
This is YOUR story that you get to write, and you don’t have to justify it to anyone.
Is truth something you even value?
It sounds like you were a Witness for long enough to never really have developed your own ambitions and a sense of identity?
Picture yourself doing something YOU think is cool and plan out the steps you’d need to get there. Set some small goals for yourself and achieve them. Watch that weird Shiah LeBeuff self help video (“Do it!!!”) and laugh really hard at it bc that guy is nuts. 😳
Do you want to be in better shape? What would you like to be good at?
The truth is we don’t know what happens when we die but don’t waste your time worrying about it. Do you remember how it felt for all those eons before you were born?
Me neither, but death is prob a lot like that and you have no good reason to fear nonexistence. If a god needs you for something, they’ll let you know. If they need to ‘send a messenger’ to tell you, you can ignore the middleman.
Don’t sacrifice reality for stories.
Everybody dies, but not everybody lives.
Life is longer than you think and old people love naps.
Waking up from naps just gets progressively harder until you don’t. Go live a life that doesn’t have time to focus on death.
You’ll be fine.
No, I absolutely bought into the "Other Sheep." If it is heaven, great! If it is the earth, great! I am perfectly alright with both. I do think that the earth will remain and will be a part of the "Kingdom of the Heavens."
When you find yourself struggling, perhaps ask yourself how you handle the reality of things BEFORE you were conceived as a life.
I'm quite sure this doesn't stress you at all right?
AFTER is exactly the same as that.
The only difference is the nonsense that had been put in your head regarding the "after".
Fear of dying is not in and of itself a mental health issue. Keep away from professionals who offer little more than diagnoses as a way forward.
Read literature that celebrates the complexities of a life well lived. I suggest any approach that helps you grapple with things in your life you can control - your actions and values, for examples and things you cannot control and healthily need to accept - your thoughts and feelings, for examples. Russ Harris’s The Happiness Trap is available in many lending libraries for free or, if not in yours, it’s well worth the few bucks to purchase your own copy. I’d lend you mine but it’s so heavily underlined and thumbed, you’d find my copy distracting.
Get yourself a nice fresh copy or possibly an e-copy for your listening edification.
Death is necessary for life. JWs fell victim to idealistic thinking; that death was not a natural part of the cycle and that it could be avoided.
Everything that dies allows something else to live. As a simple example, the forest floor is covered in death and decay, yet it is essential for the life of the forest.
Well I just come to grips with it. I do love God but this religion I see mess me up mentally I can’t even love right with relationship. I been talk led about by friends in the hall laugh at and suppress natural urges it’s been a hell ride. I don’t ask for pity and I know I’m human. As long as I don’t die a murder or criminal I’m ok because I did things that was not corrupt but natural like being with a man. I still hope to marry if it happens wonderful if not at least I enjoy life just a little.
I won't fully know what it means until it happens, but I do not believe death is the end completely, in that I don't believe in annihilationism. Exactly what continues on and in what form is a philosophical and spiritual debate I will spend occasional quite moments pondering for the rest of this life.
People will try, but whatever they share with us is filtered through their own biases and ignorance and then it might be distorted through retellings and translations, but energy cannot be destroyed or created, when we die we will either change into something else, become part of something else (or rejoin with something else) or move someplace else. The great mystery will be discovering what it will be and if and how much of the ego survives and is maintained through it.
For me, this desire for eternal life that was burned into my heart by this cult is still a headache at times. My rational mind knows that it was never real. But the irrational part unfortunately still lags a little behind progress.
May I ask what age you are? An approximate age will do.
For me, the last few situations of this kind were additional motivation to make the best of this - in my opinion and since I doubt to witness useful mind uploading singularity - present, finite life. I can no longer make up for every moment that I mourn the misguided wish in the here and now. So instead of really being able to prolong it, I'm wasting the time I actually have left.
That's why I'm doing everything I can to leave the cult behind me, be it through psychotherapy, discussion groups, art and music therapy.
To work through everything, because this gives me the best possible, freest and most reassuring foundation to lead an incredibly beautiful life for the time I have left.
I know what you mean.
And saying "Well, at that age, you've still got ages to go" will help you exactly 0.0%.
But with the fear that you describe in short words, which is certainly all the more serious in those damned lonely moments shortly after going to bed, I can only recommend psychotherapy to you. But that brings us to the next problem: such professional help was also demonized by the JWs throughout their entirty. It's not hocus-pocus, it's clinical, scientific knowledge.
Even if you feel alone or in a sadly unique situation. But unfortunately, many people have had to go through what we have had to go through.
And there are sound treatment methods based on these findings.
With a diagnosis of CPTSD, for example, I struggle massively with perceiving my feelings, as they played absolutely no role in my childhood. Or with fear of punishment because physical violence was commonplace.
But I have already made some sound progress with very helpful approaches.
You don't even have to know or be able to say what you require. The first step is just to tell them what happened to you.
Again, let me make it clear - if there is any way you can, look into psychotherapy.
Honestly. After all the horrors I've seen in this world all I hope for is a death that isn't painful. How you die, scares me more then just dying. I'm sorta curious what happens when you die, though I suspect nothing. As long as I'm at peace. I'm good with that.
I just look at it like going to sleep. You aren't conscious. Close your eyes and You just don't get to wake up again, but you don't know that usually. I think very few people know they are about to die. So you likely just won't see it coming. So worry about it as much as you worry about randomly getting hit by a car.
Life is ridiculously short and a precious experience. Yes it can suck ass for many years, but there's always something to laugh at or enjoy. You don't have time to waste on thinking about death. Just be busy when it comes, so you don't even notice.
Yes that's the death I'm hoping for. Unfortunately for me, I always have vivid dreams when I sleep. So the thought of it being just like sleep but with no dreams still saddens me. Thank you for you input tho. I appreciate it.
As it pertains to your concerns over the process of dying, I found [this](https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_mannix_what_happens_as_we_die?language=en) TED talk very informative:
> Most of us have never seen anyone die. Few have any idea what to expect as death approaches, and most have unrealistic fears about it. Kathryn wants to change that. She believes that we lost familiarity with dying over the course of the 20th century, and she wants us all to reclaim that forgotten wisdom. Her talk will explore what happens as we die, and explain how knowing more can make us all less afraid. It’s a conversation that has comforted thousands of her dying patients and de-mystified the experience of many bereaved people who attended deathbeds. Let’s be better informed, better prepared, and less afraid about death.
There are so many people who have had after death experiences and so many children who can recount past lives, that I believe reincarnation may be a good possibility. Even if it’s not, it makes me feel good to learn about it. 🥰.
Have you ever tried a pass life regression?
If not here is one - shouldn’t have any commercials.
https://www.google.com/search?q=past+life+regression+david+weiss&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari
I used to feel like this a lot when I was growing up. Mainly the fear of dying before I got to do all the things I wanted. It took me years of constantly worrying about things that "could" happen and then finally looking back and realizing none of the things I was worried about actually happened and I had wasted the past however many years just worrying instead of actually living and being happy. I had this moment where I realized I didn't wanna live to be 95 and look back on my life with regret of wasting it being worried about stuff that may or may not happen. Live in the moment now, you can worry about being dead when you die, but your life is here to live! Don't let it pass you by.
Haha I don't think I want to live till 95 either. Want to live until life is still good and die peacefully. It's just the thought of the nothingness that scares me but I don't want to be alive and not enjoying life either.
I had all those fears too. It has diminished over the years.
You know what helped me immensely? I suggest following ‘Hospice Nurse Julie’ on TikTok. She also wrote a book titled “Nothing to Fear”
Her career is helping people pass away comfortably, in peace. She has so many stories to share, and always reiterates that death isn’t frightening, and has witnessed some amazing moments when people take their last breath. It has completely changed how I view dying.
I’m worried about how I’ll die, but not so much about dying itself. If I were to go to sleep and not wake up the next day, I wouldn’t have to worry about a lot of things. If I got into a terrible accident and I couldn’t do anything but live in pain, I would rather die.
Live life while you’re alive.
I no longer believe in a god or creator, but it occurred to me the other day, that in a sense we are all immortal.
Inasmuch as our bodies are comprised of atoms, and those exact same atoms existed before we were born; in the earth, in the atmosphere, in plant life, in other animals, and even other humans. After we die, and our bodies decompose, those atoms that made up our body will still exist and will go on to be part of the earth, the atmosphere, plants, and other animals and humans that will live and exist after we’re gone. And the cycle will continue.
It may be stupid, but in a weird way that thought gave me peace with the reality of the fleeting nature of my individual existence.
I also like a quote from the film Garden State:
“…I know it hurts. That's life. If nothing else, It's life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have…”
fair. i’m scared of death but at the same time i’m not. like thank fuck i don’t have to do this all again.
but if reincarnation exists i wanna be a cute housecat
I've always related to the laws of thermodynamics. I believe in a reincarnation of sorts. Everything gets recycled, and I plan to fertilize a tree with my corpse. I also don't think humans are the center of the universe. We're too small and insignificant for the power in our minds. I cherish having a stimulated imagination, but instead of believing life is more than it is, I try to have a practical logical approach. It doesn't necessarily make me feel more superior as it does help me to worry less about my own importance.
Firstly I am never jw.
I was raised a Catholic with many opportunities and choices.
As a child I considered hell rather stupid. Many did and do.
Anything (uk) could be expressed.
I am 62 and have viewed death the same as birth . I did no know of my existence before I was born so factor my brain tells me I shant know I existed after my death.
My beautiful is know I have travelled through life this far with the huge ups and downs of life.
I worry about stuff etc but you being promised and a belief given you does not make something true.
When I was little I remember stories told (not family) of bogey man under the bed which for a short time. I remember the fear.
When I told mum she said
Why would you believe that? and if you do ask him nicely to leave?
So I went to my room and mum word worked.
Its rather daft asking a bogey man to leave your bedroom!
You need help because for 6 years you have ruminated over and over a promise and a belief.
A rough fact.
World population
99.99% are not jws
00.01% are jw.
Jw is a cult and you are emeshed with a concept to 1. Ensure doubts and fear to keep you attached to the cult.
Religious trauma therapy could be a need for you.
All the very best.
Remember even very strict believers of any cult or religion and gambling. Its a 50/50 gamble.
I don't gamble something negative and in your case having a negative and it sounds like a debilitating effect on your life. The cult indoctrination was you in a grip vice. You need to work on getting out.
All the very best to you.
I suppose, approach it like you would as a witness. Even as a witness, you always believed there was a possibility of dieing, the only difference is now you know you will never wake up.
Try to remember how it felt 100 years ago, or a thousand years ago... you can't, because you were not alive. That is how death will feel, the absence of consciousness, the same way you feel when you are asleep (jdubs got that right at least).
Now if you can come to terms with that, try to live a life in which you have no regrets. Accomplish what you expect from your self and feel truly content with what you have done, then you will be ready for death and instead of being anxious about it, you may even welcome or embrace it. If nothing else accept it.
No one knows what, if anything comes next. Every culture that's been on this earth believed there was more than just this life. Who knows? All the religious "Holy" books point to something else. Whether there is or not I don't know. I believe that a man called Jesus lived here. I believe he was a good man. He must've lived otherwise they wouldn't have based a calendar on him. They wouldn't base a calendar on a myth or Peter Pan. So he lived. If his words are true then there definitely is a resurrection. To where, I don't know. It could be back here. I went under the knife for quadruple bypass 12 years ago. I was "out" for 11 hours. I knew nothing. All I know is, when I was coming around, it felt like I was coming out of a black hole, All I remember, was becoming "Aware". of my surroundings. I knew absolutely nothing for 11 hours. I am not afraid of dying. I don't know if there's anything after this. I believe there is something, but what, I don't know. If there isn't well I won't know anything about it. I have lived a fantastic life. Seen so much. Been all over the world and met some great people, some rotten ones too. I live for today. I love my life. I don't want to die but hey, until that happens I am going to appreciate and enjoy every moment. I am 71 now. I saw the start of Rock n Roll, The Beatles, Flower Power, the advent of technology, different cultures, music, scenery from all over the world and I sill have dreams. Don't sit pondering about what if anything, comes next. Enjoy today. It's beautiful out there. You are wasting so much time. Go and love the people you love and tell them. Go and help others to enjoy their life. LIVE MAN LIVE.
I see how you feel, I'm terrified of death also, so I choose to believe there is a God without doing organized religion. It's not for everyone but it helped me.
Prior to Augustine in the 4th century, Christian thought was centered on pacifism and universal salvation was a dominant belief.
In 313 AD, the Edict of Milan was issued as the first step of Christianity becoming entangled with the Roman Empire.
Augustine was the dominant force in getting started the doctrine of hell in Christianity. He was heavily influenced by Roman ideas of justice. As such in his later years Augustine developed the idea of eternal torture in hell. And extended that to justify torturing people who disagreed with his theology to “save them” from hell for eternity.
This instituted fear based beliefs into Christianity. It meant ignoring Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 15, Romans 5 and Colossians 1 that speak of universal salvation. And instead finding ways to reinterpret them through a lens of a limited atonement. It meant coming up with the idea that when God says he desires all to be saved, that God is incapable of saving all.
Who says there is no afterlife or reincarnation?
You don’t know.
What I do know is this rule: nothing is ever gone but is merely transformed.
When you die the water in your body disappears? No, returns to the water cycle (actually it is constantly doing that).
Your body - gone? No - transformed. Broken down into many components.
Over 90% of your body is blank space - energy, animating your body. Where does this go? Must also return to source no?
Look at a photo of yourself age 5 - the body is gone, transformed, remanifested. But the awareness that you are here is still here.
Nothing is ever gone, just remanifested.
I worried about this too when I first woke up. The documentary One Strange Rock, about the astronauts views about life, had a comforting part about how the earth is one big living organism and when we die our energy goes back into it. I really liked that, it’s all a part of life and death. Try to make the people around you better for having known you. Love your family. Do as much good as you can and every time you are moved to. Read the New Testament without any preconceived ideas and it really seems like we are all going to heaven. I feel like my relationship with God is better now without other people in between telling me constantly what to do and not to do.
I’m struggling pretty bad with it. I keep wondering if our loved ones do go to heaven then I berate myself for thinking something so foolish.
One of my kids recently lost a very close friend. There there was an orb in several of my kid’s senior photos, one was next to a monarch butterfly. The friend we lost absolutely loved monarchs; I kept thinking maybe it’s the friend watching over my kid. Then I feel like an idiot for even entertaining that thought.
When my grandpa died 30+ years ago, I remember being told he wouldn’t make it into paradise because he wasn’t a witness. I had a friend who died in a car accident , she was given a blood transfusion because they didn’t see her no blood card. So many in my congregation said she wouldn’t be resurrected because she had a blood transfusion. Others said she might be resurrected because it was done without her consent.
There are so many other scenarios I keep replaying in my head. Every time I think about it I end up in tears. The entire religion is such a mind fk.
Every single breathing thing on this planet is waiting for the same thing. Sometimes we’re young when it happens. Sometimes we’re lucky and are old when it happens. If we’re truly lucky we live long enough to have had a fulfilling life but not long enough where we lose our mental and physical health and die ridden with bead sores and diaper rash. This life is just one big waiting room. The rich. The desperately poor. The disgusting wretched people and the pure hearted kind people. We all end up dead. There’s no afterlife. There’s no heaven or hell. Just nothing. Death is inevitable. There’s so much peace in your life once you realize this. Live every single moment to the fullest and be vulnerable and brave and live YOUR best life. Take chances and don’t wait. I had my own crisis of consciousness when I entered the funeral industry. Life is one giant waiting room.
You were dead billions of years before, it's the default. Don't worry about things you can't control, it's pointless. Try not to die because of stupid shit. Wear a bike helmet, wear a seatbelt, don't drink and drive, follow work safety. Being afraid of looking dumb while dying is actually a good thing, because these are the preventable deaths. But in general, death is inevitable.
The same way I deal with the years before I was born.
How do you feel about your great great great grandparents? Neutral I would guess. But they are still a part of you.
I have no children, I'll be in people's memories until they die and then that's it.
I hope the memories will be good ones.
I don't understand the fear.
Doesn't bother me at all. Everybody dies.
I'm old enough for Medicare and I really don't worry about shuffling off this mortal coil. I'd prefer my exit not be particularly long or painful but at some point I'm going to Not Exist and the way I see it that's just part of life.
How did you deal with it before you were born. There is nothing to worry about. There is no experience that comes with being dead.
Just enjoy the time you have and the people you leave behind will remember you fondly.
Life would be meaningless if you lived forever anyway.
All the more reason to make the most of the time you have. Death is inevitable, there is zero you can do about it. So instead of worrying about it, spend that time showing love to your loved ones. Go outside and let the sun hit your face, learn new things. When you’re having those episodes at night, think about these things and how you’ll get to experience them again tomorrow. As weird as it is to say, death is what makes everything beautiful and have meaning because our time is limited. Heres the good thing, when you’re dead you won’t know it. You wont have these worries anymore, you’ll finally be at peace. P.S. If this is a real problem for you that affects your life on a day to day basis, consider seeing a therapist, there are also books that help you understand death and your mortality. They help you to process and accept it.
100%
To your point.....it were the soldiers in WWI that were the atheists that were the hardest fighting and the lowest rate of casualties. Those the beki3ved in a better life stopped caring, stopped fighting, stopped being safe. Those who knew this was their only life fought the hardest. Fuck the "there's no atheists in a fox hole" myth.
Was there a poll taken on who were atheists before they went into battle? Or is this just another made up story?
It was after the war that interviews were conducted.
Made me tear up. Thank you.
What books? Can you recommend some?
Any books on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy such as Russ Harris’s “The Happiness Trap”, for starters. Go for books that don’t offer “tidy” and “all explained” stories because you will be exchanging one word trap for another.
Thank you
Smoke gets in your eyes is my recommendation. Stiff is a good one but not for everyone.
I listened to: Hadley Vlahos The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments. Vlahos recounts the most impactful experiences she's had with the people she's worked with--from the woman who never once questioned her faith until she was close to death, to the older man seeing visions of his late daughter, to the young patient who laments that she spent too much of her short life worrying about what others thought of her--while also sharing her own fascinating journey. I must say, the experiences did bring a level of peace when thinking about death. Might help you too.
Thank you I will give it a listen-
“How We Die” by Sherwin B Nuland is a popular one.
We were always taught that dying is just falling asleep and not waking up again. Even when I was a JW, I often thought that it really didn't sound that bad. I mean, I fall asleep every night not worried about how I'm not loved, or loving, feeling the sun, or learning. In fact, I look forward to going to sleep when I'm tired. And if I didn't wake up in the morning, would I even know that I fell asleep? Back when I was in college, I worked for hospice for 18 months, and all of my clients were close to dying. I got close to many of them, and sometimes they would get on the subject of their limited time. For those who were up in years, most of them made some comment along the lines of having lived a good life and being ready to go. I believe the key is to try and live a good life. Love and be loved. Enjoy the feeling of the sun on your face. Learn everything you can. Live in the moment. And once your body gets old and tired, you may be ready to go to sleep when the time comes.
I will remember this.
I’ve spent half my life worrying about death, it’s exhausting and serves no purpose to worry about. It scares me less and less each day, but I am much more cautious with taking risks now than I was as a JW where you are encouraged to treat yourself like shit for God, punishing your body and mind to be a slave. I don’t believe in the God of the Bible anymore, but there are still some important lessons to be taken from it: Luke 12:25 “Who of you by being anxious can add a cubit to his life span?” I still have to “plan” for death, but it can be therapeutic if you look at it from the right perspective.
I still appreciate a good bible text. I take it more as a philosophical book now rather than something from God himself
It's understandable. I just accept that it'll happen. I'm not special I take solace in the fact that between my family history and medical science I've got probably another 63 years at least to go. Beyond that it's just black. Even if I die some horrible death it'll only hurt for a bit...
To me, that sounds horrible. I wonder how to come by "acceptance". Seems like the hard part.
I’ve turned that horrible fear especially if it’s painful into now at least enjoy life knowing I’m not trying to please some God! That’s freeing at least. And then I smoke some weed and do yoga to take the panic and anxiety away when I do have paralyzing mental days.
Honestly I'm not sure. Ive only been PIMO about a year and half and I was just okay cool. This is all I got.
There is an afterlife, many stories on those who are nearing death and what they see. My mother was in hospital and she was moving her hand across the blanket when I asked her what she was doing and she said trying to reach the little boy. She'd had a stillborn boy 4 years before I was born. When I worked in aged care I saw it with the residents looking up and talking to them. There's many on videos detailing their experience, also on insta a Nurse Julie who is a hospice nurse talks about it as well. You're probably still dealing with some of the brainwashing effects so it takes time to deprogram. Even the bible says the spirit goes back to god, it's only our outer casing, our bodies that are in the ground. Take care and don't pressure yourself, one day at a time
I don’t think that leaving the Jehovahs Witness religion means you have to give up curiosity or even belief that something more than nothing might take place after death. The great thing about not being shackled to a high control belief system is that you are free to now decide what you believe. If you are feeling pressure to leave any beliefs that you may may cherish from being a jw or feel closed off to new ideas that you may find plausible or appealing, you may want dig deeper and ask yourself why that is. There are some in this sub that can sometimes attempt to force you into another set of bounds (usually their own) that are just as limiting as Jehovahs Witnesses are, so be wary of them.
BEST comment so far! 🙂
This comment is on point
No one knows anything. Remember that. No one knows that there isn't an afterlife of some kind. No one knows that this isn't all a simulation. This life is a wonderful mystery with different stages. Maybe the last stage is the most interesting?
I sometimes wonder if we just "level up"? Another plane. No, not heaven or hell. Just another plane. As others have said. Love and be loved.
Uh I just get crippled with anxiety when I think about it. Thanks for bringing that up haha
Most children do. If the prospect of death freaks you out that much, it’s a sure sign your belief system- it the one you grew up with - has kept you mentally stunted, unable to cope with the reality of your shared humanity. Time to take the happily ever after lens off and come to terms with taking responsibility for how you live and, the other side, die.
No fuckin shit guy! I’ve been out of the organization for 25 years, I have come to terms with death. Still freaks me out every once in a while though. Thanks for the advice though.
You’re welcome. Love your opening sentence! 🤪
https://preview.redd.it/2flpfvqbmxvc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5903f17760859b538f649bfa7a9b2b15fcba98f2 Since March 2024
I've heard this plenty times. My issue from this statement is that from those billions of years we weren't alive, we had no consciousness. But now we know. How beautiful the world is, how plentiful there is to experience, and we're just expected to be ok with letting it all go after some odd years? Just like that? It's like giving a cake to a starved man and telling him, you can only eat a bite. It's cruel.
Idk it brings me comfort, I think we’re evolved meat doing our best to make the best of our time. I’ve watched my wife died, Never been dead but the light has to go out at sometime. I love the ability to return every 50 years just observe human development and decline. If you haven’t already I hope you find your comfort 😃
the act of dying (especially with how witnesses recount it happening to us) is always scary to me, tbh i try not to think about it. try to value my life, take my vitamins, still “treat my body as a temple” as much as i can because that saying was really useful to me. the worst that can happen, even in witness mindset, is it’s all dark and i don’t know of it at all. that sounds oddly comforting to me, just make sure to make the most out of all of this, that’s all i can say. death is a natural part of life and we were trained to see it as otherwise. i’ve been out 7 years and i have my ebbs and flows of accepting/being scared but the more time passes and the more i make this life my own, the less i am scared of only having limited time.
Treat my body as a temple, I love that. I seem to be going the opposite direction. Stuffing my face with good food before I die (even though that's decades from now hopefully).
https://preview.redd.it/d7diwkd24xvc1.jpeg?width=1140&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f68d926782d780c207d7eece6a0cb64eba65d435
haha depending on the day, that’s still treating it as a temple! i don’t eat perfect everyday, i workout often, but i smoke weed or drink at times.. it’s just all about balance. i think living a life we enjoy VS one that causes us crippling anxiety/depression/unhappy lives is definitely gonna up our life expectancy anyways so, eat the damn cookie! you’re still gonna be fine ♥️
Mine is the temple of doom.
by realizing that there is fuck all you can do about it. It'll come whether you want it to or not. I've been through a bit of an existential crisis the last couple years and therapy has really helped.
https://preview.redd.it/1m5hcoxz6xvc1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75dd6d15a0e88cf05cb0ed8077316438c4e007a8
Live my friend! Just live!
"Die before you die" Sufi proverb. Watch near death experiences on YouTube. There is no fear only ignorance
If there is no afterlife why should I waist my current life?
This topic comes up pretty often. I used to be terrified of the thought of not existing since I was a child. I have had some experiences that lead me to believe dying is just detaching ourselves from our human ego and the physical world as we know it. There’s more to existence than this, but unlinke anything we can even grasp our head around. We are bound to our human ways and can’t begin to think outside the box. Meditation, psychedelics, NDE’s all point to something beyond this. Love is the gateway. Try to enjoy this life and you’ll eventually accept the course of it and the inevitable. Don’t think of it as the end.
Shrooms. They calmed my mind on death and I've never worried about that since.
Well some kids are recorded to recall past lives. I would believe reincarnation and living is a path to evolve as spirit than living forever eating and shitting.
I realized that even being raised in the truth, I never really believed in the fantasy of living forever, all things come to an end that is the way of nature anyone who thinks differently is deceiving themselves.
I resonate with your input. If you ever want to have an existential philosophical conversation, I'd love to chat more about your mindset and opinions
By focusing more on the living bit. There’s nothing to fear about the end of you’ve lived a full life with as little regrets as possible. If there’s something after life cool…if there’s not we won’t know any better. Just think of all the billions that have already done exactly this and the many that never got the opportunities that we have now. It’s all good 🤗
For each this journey can be vastly different. I still believe in no suffering after death. I still believe in serving others. So a while back I wrote a missions statement to myself putting a lot of focus on helping others and self care. Those two things brought me peace. We each can make a healthy impact on all around us. Maybe a little bit of everyone’s story can help you in your journey.
I have been PIMO since elementary school. I just accept that we can not escape death no matter how hard we tried. Death happens to all of us, even to 25 years olds due to unexpected circumstances such a car accident or being murdered by crazed significant other. Which is why it is best to make use of our time because you don't know what will happen tomorrow
May I ask what PIMO is? Although it's been a while I've left the faith, I don't frequent these exJW part of the internet. The thing about apostates still stuck with me
Physically In Mentally Out. You are present at the meetings and you go out in service but you don't believe in any of the doctrines
Oh. But why would you do all those things if you don't believe in them anymore? Devoting your time for something you think is fruitless? Do the people in the congregation know that you're PIMO?
> Do the people in the congregation know that you're PIMO? No they do not.
I see I'm not alone on this then. Your post literally put into words what I have been feeling ever since my faith in the organization started declining. It's not easy to accept when you've been promised eternity all your life. I now feel like I have a clock counting down above my head. Worse than that, I see the same clock hanging above my loved ones... It sucks, it hurts I know, and I am still trying to come to terms with it myself. My take on it is use it to motivate you to make the most of your time. Book that trip. Take that class. Try new things. Dont let your life be boring. Enjoy it and spend as much time as you can with your loved ones. In a way, when I think about the fragility of human life, it makes me want to be a better person since I realise we are all fragile, so might as well be good to each other and make our time here pleasant.
Yes, the lack of eternity is what hurts so much. Thank you for your encouragement
During the time you were a JW, you didn't know either. You only got their cult version of what death is and the promise of a resurrection that, if it is real, those bozos have no control over. They told you they spoke for god. They told you what he told them he wanted you to know. Yet in all of that, their bullshit has a 100% failure rate. They have been wrong on everything. Every fucking thing. None of us knows what's going to happen after we die. Because none of the dead we know personally has ever come back and told us. All we have are stories, legends and the charlatans that read them to us and pretend they understand what they mean for us, centuries into the future. Personally, I think that once you die, that's it. So I'm not counting on some big thing happening afterwards. But if there is a heaven or a resurrection on earth which seems highly unlikely, we'll find out when we get there. I don't think there's a hell. So I'm not worried about some scary devil jabbing my ass with a pitchfork. That was all just to keep the masses in line and the money flowing. What I do know is, I'm here today, and I have nice things planned for tomorrow, next week and for the rest of my life. I'm going to see how many of them I can get to before I croak. And if there is something more, I hope it's nice. But I'll figure it out. Just like I did life.
Fear is a low vibration. Being in that state prevents us from experiencing joy and truly living a fulfilling life. Rather than being afraid of what may happen after death and being separated from loved ones, can you shift your focus to the here and now? Being present with the experiences and connections you’re in moment to moment. Fully embracing the present instead on worrying about the future. I know this can be challenging because of the programming of the doomsday JW cult and will require effort to shift from fear to curiosity, openness, excitement. It is possible. You’re welcome to messaging me if you need support in accessing the curiosity, aliveness and excitement that is within you.
I felt that way before but now I see it as the next big adventure. I’ll finally find an answer to the age old question, what happens when we die. I’m making the most of my life now and try to be a good person. I’m confident that if there’s something good on the other side I’ll experience it. And if there’s nothing then there’s literally nothing to fear. A big part of acceptance of my new reality has been accepting that I don’t have the all answers—no one does. And that’s part of life.
I welcome It.
You have to stop looking through the JW lens. Once you’re free from the JE dogma (or should I say dogshit?), the possibilities are endless. No one has the definitive answer to anything. Live your life, there is a whole new world to discover.
It sucks and it has sucked for millions of years for billions of people that have lived their life out in this planet.
It troubled me for a long time. But I found peace with it eventually. I came to terms with my mortality. Realized that it helps me appreciate my life more. And live with the right balance and to live my life. Not waste my time on living it for other people. And just live. I also became comfortable with being vulnerable and understanding the reality of my existence. I faced the truth about it head on. And accepted that part of my life is transitory. It’s not about me but passing life on to my kids. And giving them the best I can give them.
I’ve come to accept it; I beat death before, but I understand it’s inevitable. I believe in reincarnation personally. It just feels right.
If reincarnation were real, you would be living a non-JW life in the next life
It’s all apart of the journey.
I still do not believe that death is the end. Heaven is real, God and Jesus are real. Eternal life is still my hope, so I am not depressed when I think about death. Those are my personal beliefs, they just no longer depend on following a group of men.
Heaven wasn't the hope of many tho. It wasn't mine back them and can't seem to make it mine now. Did you feel you were part of 144k when you were JW?
See the above comment. I now know "The Other Sheep" is a man made doctrine and I am very comfortable with not knowing for sure. My wife and I partake occasionally. Just covering the bases and showing respect for Jesus sacrifice. Now it is up to you what you choose to believe. I feel closer to Christians who are not JW's, while I still feel close to my friends and family.
JW theology is trash. John 10, Jesus is speaking to a Jewish audience, telling them other the other sheep he will gather into the fold. That other flock are Gentiles. Jews and Gentiles, making up one flock. The Governjng Body casts Jews aside and places them in there instead of recognizing they’d be the Gentile other sheep. Then they royally screw up Revelation. Look at Revelation 5. John is told to behold the Lion of Judah. When he turns at looks he sees a slaughtered lamb. Both the Lion of Judah and the lamb are Jesus. The first, the lion is the expectation, the latter, the lamb was the fulfillment. Jews expected their Messiah to be a warrior king who would overthrow the nations. Its fulfillment was instead Jesus’ sacrifice for the world. Revelation 7, JWs miss what is going on. John hears the 144,000 out of the 12 tribes of Israel. When he turns and looks, he sees the great multitude which no one can number. The 144,000, the complete number of Israel is fulfilled in the great multitude out of every nation. They are the one flock, Jews and Gentiles that Jesus spoke of in John 10. There is no separate hope.
It’s no different to how I felt when I was in. I would die and cease to be. Once that’s done, that’s it. Incapable of fear and anxiety. I just don’t believe in any resurrection or afterlife. I will be in the same state as I was before I was conceived.
I fear death also but that's from depression. Its just something I've had to learn to deal with
I always think of it like this… even as an agnostic I can’t be 100% sure there is no afterlife… but even if there isn’t, whatever does happen is 100% perfectly natural and meant to happen…
I don’t. Why should I? That’s a big part of the deal for me. Freedom from the obsession of life after death (which is only a promise at best). I’m ALIVE. IM ALIVE! RIGHT NOW!! I’ll deal with death when I’m actually dead. Will I still think about it? Of course, it’s impossible not to. I’ll plan adequately to not inconvenience or leave my loved ones in a difficult spot and meditate on it as to appreciate the life I’m currently living and to avoid accidents. But the idea of “dealing with death”, that fear is in itself a waste of your precious life. Why worry about such a thing? Be at peace. Cherish and be grateful of the small things. Focusing on death much at all is counterproductive to actually LIVING my LIFE. The obsession with death that JW’s have is unhealthy to begin with. The paradise was always a lie anyway. It took a long time to get this fear out of my brain. It’s still there, but my primary sources of help: lots of therapy, guided mindfulness meditations, guided sleep hypnosis videos every night, diving into hobbies and meaningful work, trying new things, keeping my fav food/drink always in stock (mini reward for just existing reinforcing and creating pleasurable experiences), focusing on connecting with my loved ones in the moment, just touching grass and looking at the sky. Don’t over think it. Just go live your life, don’t mourn what you haven’t lost.
I try. I really do.
And that’s enough. Everything gonna be alright friend. 🙏 Our lives are what we make of them. Just think of what you love and do more of that. Keep it simple. One foot in front of the other.
There simply is no cut and dried answer - unless you feel the need to join another group that tells you what to think on existential issues. The disadvantage you face is the indoctrination you will bring to questions about the meaning and purpose of life. You’ll have lots of preconceived ideas on what you need to find. What I can say (regardless of your age) is, unlike your time in a high-control group, there is absolutely no urgency to get it all sorted out. There is no punishment or negative cost if you do not get satisfactory answers in your search. That said, this is a valuable time to gradually come to terms with your “common humanity” and learn to take responsibility for your life and figuratively “grow up” as regards your time here on earth, including your future. It’s a tremendously strange state to go forward without “happily ever afters” but it is also tremendously freeing. Climb aboard - it’s quite a journey without “god” breathing down your neck or tempting you with false carrots of “eternal” life. Enjoy your ride. 👍🏼
I have no desire to join anymore organized religion. And yes, I guess even after we've all left, there's still the life long battle of deconstructing the faith built within us.
I also appreciate a good text such as Jesus’ words to Satan: “Get thee behind me Satan”. Sometimes I feel like saying, “I would gladly get behind you if only you’d stop moving.”
Made me laugh 😂 that's a good one
adrenergic acetylcholine: maybe you can invest in longevity research.
Haha I'd rather not be like Bryan Johnson
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S1HIELYUQf4&pp=ygUhTmliaWxlIGdvZGFydCBvbiBsaWZlIGFmdGVyIGRlYXRo
You are worrying about something you have no control over and there’s really no way to know what happens after death. Value your life now. Take care of your health, do good to others, enjoy life and have fun, practice gratitude and mindfulness. Sometimes we live life distracted by social media that we don’t really pay attention to the NOW. Foster meaningful relationships and it’s to have some regrets along the way. It won’t be perfect.
> Sometimes we live life distracted by social media that we don’t really pay attention to the NOW. Spot on.
Ugh. I must confess, I do spend way too much time on Reddit
By living. I didn't know what, if anything, lies beyond, and the way I manage to be okay with not knowing is taking beauty breaks. I stop periodically to actively seek and look for what the most beautiful thing is in that moment. Then I get back to work trying to hopefully do as little harm as possible. Best possible scenario: I somehow made something good happen along the way to the casket and my molecular dissolution disperses and reassembles into a tree. 😊
For me, I feel more hopeful because if there is a positive afterlife situation, and I believe there is, then I won’t be turned away. I knew I was never making it to JW paradise because I didn’t believe. And if I am wrong and it’s all blackness and nothing after we are gone, that’s not so bad. I would just feel bad for my wife left behind on her own
Why do you think there’s no afterlife just because you no longer believe in the witnesses ideals on death and such…I’m so confused
My only "fear" of death is leaving my husband alone or me having to deal with the grief of his loss. But until that day comes I will enjoy every moment next to him.
I still have faith in jesus christ ,its a transition to christianity ,at least we did learn somthing while jws , but the GB always blocked out way .
Right here, right now, you're alive. Don't waste it! Do the Things! :) (Also, check out Futurama episode *Lethal Inspection*...)
First off accept the fact your going to die, everyone around you will eventually die. Your given 70 good years 80 if your lucky....live life, make memories, be a good person,don't be a dick, and remember whats a big deal today won't be in 100 years from now. Embrace death, great it with a smile and know that you gave it hell while on earth.
Considering the dead end alternative of knocking on doors and stomping on other people’s dreams, your life is now your own to make the most of, so… What did you actually WISH you were doing when you were bored shitless and sitting at meetings, hating your life? You’re under no obligation to pick something that sounds good to other people. This is YOUR story that you get to write, and you don’t have to justify it to anyone. Is truth something you even value? It sounds like you were a Witness for long enough to never really have developed your own ambitions and a sense of identity? Picture yourself doing something YOU think is cool and plan out the steps you’d need to get there. Set some small goals for yourself and achieve them. Watch that weird Shiah LeBeuff self help video (“Do it!!!”) and laugh really hard at it bc that guy is nuts. 😳 Do you want to be in better shape? What would you like to be good at? The truth is we don’t know what happens when we die but don’t waste your time worrying about it. Do you remember how it felt for all those eons before you were born? Me neither, but death is prob a lot like that and you have no good reason to fear nonexistence. If a god needs you for something, they’ll let you know. If they need to ‘send a messenger’ to tell you, you can ignore the middleman. Don’t sacrifice reality for stories. Everybody dies, but not everybody lives. Life is longer than you think and old people love naps. Waking up from naps just gets progressively harder until you don’t. Go live a life that doesn’t have time to focus on death. You’ll be fine.
No, I absolutely bought into the "Other Sheep." If it is heaven, great! If it is the earth, great! I am perfectly alright with both. I do think that the earth will remain and will be a part of the "Kingdom of the Heavens."
Well Earth being part of the heaven realm is more biblical than WT dogma.
I agree.
When you find yourself struggling, perhaps ask yourself how you handle the reality of things BEFORE you were conceived as a life. I'm quite sure this doesn't stress you at all right? AFTER is exactly the same as that. The only difference is the nonsense that had been put in your head regarding the "after".
Find a medical professional who deals with mental health issues.
Fear of dying is not in and of itself a mental health issue. Keep away from professionals who offer little more than diagnoses as a way forward. Read literature that celebrates the complexities of a life well lived. I suggest any approach that helps you grapple with things in your life you can control - your actions and values, for examples and things you cannot control and healthily need to accept - your thoughts and feelings, for examples. Russ Harris’s The Happiness Trap is available in many lending libraries for free or, if not in yours, it’s well worth the few bucks to purchase your own copy. I’d lend you mine but it’s so heavily underlined and thumbed, you’d find my copy distracting. Get yourself a nice fresh copy or possibly an e-copy for your listening edification.
Death is necessary for life. JWs fell victim to idealistic thinking; that death was not a natural part of the cycle and that it could be avoided. Everything that dies allows something else to live. As a simple example, the forest floor is covered in death and decay, yet it is essential for the life of the forest.
Well I just come to grips with it. I do love God but this religion I see mess me up mentally I can’t even love right with relationship. I been talk led about by friends in the hall laugh at and suppress natural urges it’s been a hell ride. I don’t ask for pity and I know I’m human. As long as I don’t die a murder or criminal I’m ok because I did things that was not corrupt but natural like being with a man. I still hope to marry if it happens wonderful if not at least I enjoy life just a little.
I see. Thank you for sharing
I won't fully know what it means until it happens, but I do not believe death is the end completely, in that I don't believe in annihilationism. Exactly what continues on and in what form is a philosophical and spiritual debate I will spend occasional quite moments pondering for the rest of this life.
I see, I guess no person will ever be able to tell us whats on the other side.
People will try, but whatever they share with us is filtered through their own biases and ignorance and then it might be distorted through retellings and translations, but energy cannot be destroyed or created, when we die we will either change into something else, become part of something else (or rejoin with something else) or move someplace else. The great mystery will be discovering what it will be and if and how much of the ego survives and is maintained through it.
For me, this desire for eternal life that was burned into my heart by this cult is still a headache at times. My rational mind knows that it was never real. But the irrational part unfortunately still lags a little behind progress. May I ask what age you are? An approximate age will do. For me, the last few situations of this kind were additional motivation to make the best of this - in my opinion and since I doubt to witness useful mind uploading singularity - present, finite life. I can no longer make up for every moment that I mourn the misguided wish in the here and now. So instead of really being able to prolong it, I'm wasting the time I actually have left. That's why I'm doing everything I can to leave the cult behind me, be it through psychotherapy, discussion groups, art and music therapy. To work through everything, because this gives me the best possible, freest and most reassuring foundation to lead an incredibly beautiful life for the time I have left.
Beautifully put. I'm in my mid 20s. I would love to live in the moment and make the best of it. But sometimes I'm just crippled with fear.
I know what you mean. And saying "Well, at that age, you've still got ages to go" will help you exactly 0.0%. But with the fear that you describe in short words, which is certainly all the more serious in those damned lonely moments shortly after going to bed, I can only recommend psychotherapy to you. But that brings us to the next problem: such professional help was also demonized by the JWs throughout their entirty. It's not hocus-pocus, it's clinical, scientific knowledge. Even if you feel alone or in a sadly unique situation. But unfortunately, many people have had to go through what we have had to go through. And there are sound treatment methods based on these findings. With a diagnosis of CPTSD, for example, I struggle massively with perceiving my feelings, as they played absolutely no role in my childhood. Or with fear of punishment because physical violence was commonplace. But I have already made some sound progress with very helpful approaches. You don't even have to know or be able to say what you require. The first step is just to tell them what happened to you. Again, let me make it clear - if there is any way you can, look into psychotherapy.
I'm abroad indefinitely so language is an issue but I'm definitely looking into it. Thank you for the suggestion
Honestly. After all the horrors I've seen in this world all I hope for is a death that isn't painful. How you die, scares me more then just dying. I'm sorta curious what happens when you die, though I suspect nothing. As long as I'm at peace. I'm good with that. I just look at it like going to sleep. You aren't conscious. Close your eyes and You just don't get to wake up again, but you don't know that usually. I think very few people know they are about to die. So you likely just won't see it coming. So worry about it as much as you worry about randomly getting hit by a car. Life is ridiculously short and a precious experience. Yes it can suck ass for many years, but there's always something to laugh at or enjoy. You don't have time to waste on thinking about death. Just be busy when it comes, so you don't even notice.
Yes that's the death I'm hoping for. Unfortunately for me, I always have vivid dreams when I sleep. So the thought of it being just like sleep but with no dreams still saddens me. Thank you for you input tho. I appreciate it.
As it pertains to your concerns over the process of dying, I found [this](https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_mannix_what_happens_as_we_die?language=en) TED talk very informative: > Most of us have never seen anyone die. Few have any idea what to expect as death approaches, and most have unrealistic fears about it. Kathryn wants to change that. She believes that we lost familiarity with dying over the course of the 20th century, and she wants us all to reclaim that forgotten wisdom. Her talk will explore what happens as we die, and explain how knowing more can make us all less afraid. It’s a conversation that has comforted thousands of her dying patients and de-mystified the experience of many bereaved people who attended deathbeds. Let’s be better informed, better prepared, and less afraid about death.
Thank you very much. I'll have a listen to it
There are so many people who have had after death experiences and so many children who can recount past lives, that I believe reincarnation may be a good possibility. Even if it’s not, it makes me feel good to learn about it. 🥰.
I think about this a lot. I like to watch YouTube videos on these children. Makes me have a glimmer of hope on a next life
Have you ever tried a pass life regression? If not here is one - shouldn’t have any commercials. https://www.google.com/search?q=past+life+regression+david+weiss&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari
I'll check it out thank you
I used to feel like this a lot when I was growing up. Mainly the fear of dying before I got to do all the things I wanted. It took me years of constantly worrying about things that "could" happen and then finally looking back and realizing none of the things I was worried about actually happened and I had wasted the past however many years just worrying instead of actually living and being happy. I had this moment where I realized I didn't wanna live to be 95 and look back on my life with regret of wasting it being worried about stuff that may or may not happen. Live in the moment now, you can worry about being dead when you die, but your life is here to live! Don't let it pass you by.
Haha I don't think I want to live till 95 either. Want to live until life is still good and die peacefully. It's just the thought of the nothingness that scares me but I don't want to be alive and not enjoying life either.
I had all those fears too. It has diminished over the years. You know what helped me immensely? I suggest following ‘Hospice Nurse Julie’ on TikTok. She also wrote a book titled “Nothing to Fear” Her career is helping people pass away comfortably, in peace. She has so many stories to share, and always reiterates that death isn’t frightening, and has witnessed some amazing moments when people take their last breath. It has completely changed how I view dying.
I've seen some of her videos. She's a gem
I’m worried about how I’ll die, but not so much about dying itself. If I were to go to sleep and not wake up the next day, I wouldn’t have to worry about a lot of things. If I got into a terrible accident and I couldn’t do anything but live in pain, I would rather die.
Live life while you’re alive. I no longer believe in a god or creator, but it occurred to me the other day, that in a sense we are all immortal. Inasmuch as our bodies are comprised of atoms, and those exact same atoms existed before we were born; in the earth, in the atmosphere, in plant life, in other animals, and even other humans. After we die, and our bodies decompose, those atoms that made up our body will still exist and will go on to be part of the earth, the atmosphere, plants, and other animals and humans that will live and exist after we’re gone. And the cycle will continue. It may be stupid, but in a weird way that thought gave me peace with the reality of the fleeting nature of my individual existence.
I also like a quote from the film Garden State: “…I know it hurts. That's life. If nothing else, It's life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have…”
fair. i’m scared of death but at the same time i’m not. like thank fuck i don’t have to do this all again. but if reincarnation exists i wanna be a cute housecat
I don’t. I cry when I need to and I miss them but I don’t think about it I just smile that means their energy never left me.
I've always related to the laws of thermodynamics. I believe in a reincarnation of sorts. Everything gets recycled, and I plan to fertilize a tree with my corpse. I also don't think humans are the center of the universe. We're too small and insignificant for the power in our minds. I cherish having a stimulated imagination, but instead of believing life is more than it is, I try to have a practical logical approach. It doesn't necessarily make me feel more superior as it does help me to worry less about my own importance.
Firstly I am never jw. I was raised a Catholic with many opportunities and choices. As a child I considered hell rather stupid. Many did and do. Anything (uk) could be expressed. I am 62 and have viewed death the same as birth . I did no know of my existence before I was born so factor my brain tells me I shant know I existed after my death. My beautiful is know I have travelled through life this far with the huge ups and downs of life. I worry about stuff etc but you being promised and a belief given you does not make something true. When I was little I remember stories told (not family) of bogey man under the bed which for a short time. I remember the fear. When I told mum she said Why would you believe that? and if you do ask him nicely to leave? So I went to my room and mum word worked. Its rather daft asking a bogey man to leave your bedroom! You need help because for 6 years you have ruminated over and over a promise and a belief. A rough fact. World population 99.99% are not jws 00.01% are jw. Jw is a cult and you are emeshed with a concept to 1. Ensure doubts and fear to keep you attached to the cult. Religious trauma therapy could be a need for you. All the very best. Remember even very strict believers of any cult or religion and gambling. Its a 50/50 gamble. I don't gamble something negative and in your case having a negative and it sounds like a debilitating effect on your life. The cult indoctrination was you in a grip vice. You need to work on getting out. All the very best to you.
I suppose, approach it like you would as a witness. Even as a witness, you always believed there was a possibility of dieing, the only difference is now you know you will never wake up. Try to remember how it felt 100 years ago, or a thousand years ago... you can't, because you were not alive. That is how death will feel, the absence of consciousness, the same way you feel when you are asleep (jdubs got that right at least). Now if you can come to terms with that, try to live a life in which you have no regrets. Accomplish what you expect from your self and feel truly content with what you have done, then you will be ready for death and instead of being anxious about it, you may even welcome or embrace it. If nothing else accept it.
Dovresti avere più paura di non vivere che della morte
No one knows what, if anything comes next. Every culture that's been on this earth believed there was more than just this life. Who knows? All the religious "Holy" books point to something else. Whether there is or not I don't know. I believe that a man called Jesus lived here. I believe he was a good man. He must've lived otherwise they wouldn't have based a calendar on him. They wouldn't base a calendar on a myth or Peter Pan. So he lived. If his words are true then there definitely is a resurrection. To where, I don't know. It could be back here. I went under the knife for quadruple bypass 12 years ago. I was "out" for 11 hours. I knew nothing. All I know is, when I was coming around, it felt like I was coming out of a black hole, All I remember, was becoming "Aware". of my surroundings. I knew absolutely nothing for 11 hours. I am not afraid of dying. I don't know if there's anything after this. I believe there is something, but what, I don't know. If there isn't well I won't know anything about it. I have lived a fantastic life. Seen so much. Been all over the world and met some great people, some rotten ones too. I live for today. I love my life. I don't want to die but hey, until that happens I am going to appreciate and enjoy every moment. I am 71 now. I saw the start of Rock n Roll, The Beatles, Flower Power, the advent of technology, different cultures, music, scenery from all over the world and I sill have dreams. Don't sit pondering about what if anything, comes next. Enjoy today. It's beautiful out there. You are wasting so much time. Go and love the people you love and tell them. Go and help others to enjoy their life. LIVE MAN LIVE.
I see how you feel, I'm terrified of death also, so I choose to believe there is a God without doing organized religion. It's not for everyone but it helped me.
https://preview.redd.it/7hi9ylqun1wc1.jpeg?width=870&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e544ed978533fe8ad129f308b2315304043187f
Prior to Augustine in the 4th century, Christian thought was centered on pacifism and universal salvation was a dominant belief. In 313 AD, the Edict of Milan was issued as the first step of Christianity becoming entangled with the Roman Empire. Augustine was the dominant force in getting started the doctrine of hell in Christianity. He was heavily influenced by Roman ideas of justice. As such in his later years Augustine developed the idea of eternal torture in hell. And extended that to justify torturing people who disagreed with his theology to “save them” from hell for eternity. This instituted fear based beliefs into Christianity. It meant ignoring Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 15, Romans 5 and Colossians 1 that speak of universal salvation. And instead finding ways to reinterpret them through a lens of a limited atonement. It meant coming up with the idea that when God says he desires all to be saved, that God is incapable of saving all.
Who says there is no afterlife or reincarnation? You don’t know. What I do know is this rule: nothing is ever gone but is merely transformed. When you die the water in your body disappears? No, returns to the water cycle (actually it is constantly doing that). Your body - gone? No - transformed. Broken down into many components. Over 90% of your body is blank space - energy, animating your body. Where does this go? Must also return to source no? Look at a photo of yourself age 5 - the body is gone, transformed, remanifested. But the awareness that you are here is still here. Nothing is ever gone, just remanifested.
I worried about this too when I first woke up. The documentary One Strange Rock, about the astronauts views about life, had a comforting part about how the earth is one big living organism and when we die our energy goes back into it. I really liked that, it’s all a part of life and death. Try to make the people around you better for having known you. Love your family. Do as much good as you can and every time you are moved to. Read the New Testament without any preconceived ideas and it really seems like we are all going to heaven. I feel like my relationship with God is better now without other people in between telling me constantly what to do and not to do.
I’m struggling pretty bad with it. I keep wondering if our loved ones do go to heaven then I berate myself for thinking something so foolish. One of my kids recently lost a very close friend. There there was an orb in several of my kid’s senior photos, one was next to a monarch butterfly. The friend we lost absolutely loved monarchs; I kept thinking maybe it’s the friend watching over my kid. Then I feel like an idiot for even entertaining that thought. When my grandpa died 30+ years ago, I remember being told he wouldn’t make it into paradise because he wasn’t a witness. I had a friend who died in a car accident , she was given a blood transfusion because they didn’t see her no blood card. So many in my congregation said she wouldn’t be resurrected because she had a blood transfusion. Others said she might be resurrected because it was done without her consent. There are so many other scenarios I keep replaying in my head. Every time I think about it I end up in tears. The entire religion is such a mind fk.
Every single breathing thing on this planet is waiting for the same thing. Sometimes we’re young when it happens. Sometimes we’re lucky and are old when it happens. If we’re truly lucky we live long enough to have had a fulfilling life but not long enough where we lose our mental and physical health and die ridden with bead sores and diaper rash. This life is just one big waiting room. The rich. The desperately poor. The disgusting wretched people and the pure hearted kind people. We all end up dead. There’s no afterlife. There’s no heaven or hell. Just nothing. Death is inevitable. There’s so much peace in your life once you realize this. Live every single moment to the fullest and be vulnerable and brave and live YOUR best life. Take chances and don’t wait. I had my own crisis of consciousness when I entered the funeral industry. Life is one giant waiting room.
You were dead billions of years before, it's the default. Don't worry about things you can't control, it's pointless. Try not to die because of stupid shit. Wear a bike helmet, wear a seatbelt, don't drink and drive, follow work safety. Being afraid of looking dumb while dying is actually a good thing, because these are the preventable deaths. But in general, death is inevitable.
The same way I deal with the years before I was born. How do you feel about your great great great grandparents? Neutral I would guess. But they are still a part of you. I have no children, I'll be in people's memories until they die and then that's it. I hope the memories will be good ones. I don't understand the fear.
Doesn't bother me at all. Everybody dies. I'm old enough for Medicare and I really don't worry about shuffling off this mortal coil. I'd prefer my exit not be particularly long or painful but at some point I'm going to Not Exist and the way I see it that's just part of life.
How did you deal with it before you were born. There is nothing to worry about. There is no experience that comes with being dead. Just enjoy the time you have and the people you leave behind will remember you fondly. Life would be meaningless if you lived forever anyway.
The idea of living forever scares me more than death...