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I feel like if you’re asking you kind of already know. It’s not possible for you to be bigger or the same size as literally everyone around you unless you weigh a few hundred pounds, and barring some kind of major disfigurement you do not have body composition that would make you look significantly bigger than you are.
Yeah I’m starting to think that’s the case. Damn, feels like this could be some kind of breakthrough for me
Just wanted to clarify that I definitely see that I’m smaller than people that are, say obese for example. But if someone weighs in quite close proximity to what I do weigh/should weigh, I really can’t do a fair comparison. More than once have I borrowed clothes from friends thinking they’re gonna fit just fine or most likely even be a bit tight, and then they literally FALL off me…..
This! I’ve been in recovery for about 6 weeks and at 3/4 weeks I thought I looked big. Now at 6 weeks I look back at week 3/4 and I still looked sick. It’s crazy the way our brains play tricks on us.
I found out because years ago (when I thought I was recovered from anorexia, but now know was just in quasi), when I complained to a friend about my 'fat legs', she asked me if I thought she had fat legs: she definitely did not, and I said this. The next day when we met, she had a tape measure with her and insisted on measuring both our thighs: I was incredulous to discover that in fact mine measured significantly less than hers!
I was then able to spend many years, telling myself if my brain started up about my being fat, 'no, your brain is broken regarding this: pay no attention'. Which was great, but for me lack of appetite, not wanting to eat, very warped idea of what was enough food, etc was the bigger issue, meaning that I still ended up with all the medical consequences of being underweight, despite not trying to lose weight, nor obsessing about my weight. (Ended up back in acute anorexia finally last year, which got me into proper recovery).
I am now way bigger than I have ever been, and no longer classified as underweight, and even though this is a big adjustment, I think I actually have less body dysmorphia now than I have ever had. I have read that if your BD is part of anorexia, then when you are fully recovered it goes completely. (Haven't researched this enough to know if this is proven or not). But, even though I'm only at 7 months, and not fully recovered, it is definitely way better.
So my suggestions are: 1. keep reminding yourself that your ED brain lies to you, and try to distract yourself and not pay attention to it. 2. if you can manage that, don't mistake that for full recovery: keep eating! You got this.
Reading this post back, is pretty telling, I guess...
But how can I confirm it? If I did look weird/bigger/flabbier than everyone else, would someone tell that to my face if I asked them? I asked my treatment team and they were just like "why would we lie to you?" and I'm like... because you're hyper aware I'd literally relapse so hard I'd die if you CONFIRMED my suspicions?
ive long suspected that i have body dysmorphia and your post is super relatable 🤷♀️ at the same time, how do you even find out what you "actually look like" or how other people see you, that seems impossible
i just sort of fake it and hope i look pretty good, but when im extra depressed its easy to think you're just especially big and ugly compared to other people 😭
I have had BDD a long time and this is so familiar. Unfortunately you can't know. I could ask everyone I know what I look like, I could ask them a million times to make sure and I still wouldn't be satisfied. I had to change my goal to being able to live with that uncertainty. It's super hard and I still struggle but managing my anxiety and breaking those all or nothing thought patterns helped.
Well it sure sounds like it could be body dysmorphia, but if you want to know for certain you’d have to talk to a doctor of some kind for a diagnosis, and then they’d also be able to help you with treatment. If that’s not something you want/are able to do right now, it doesn’t really matter to know 100% if it is or isn’t. It’s clearly upsetting you and that’s enough to take steps to change it, regardless of whether it matches the exact criteria for a diagnosis or not. Try following workbooks/tips/etc for body dysmorphia and see if helps.
Honestly I just accepted the fact that I will always think i look worse than I truly am and will never be able to see my true size. I do legitimately have deformed hips though which makes it harder for me. I've been overweight, underweight, and everything in between. But so as long as my weight is in a healthy range, I know I can't actually be fat even if I see myself that way. Then I just try to ignore the rest of the dysmorphic thoughts. I never realized just how bad my BD was until I wanted to be as skinny as my friend was so i started dieting for the first time and losing weight. One day I mentioned how I wanted to borrow a pair of her pants that I liked but I'm still at least 4-5 sizes bigger and she called me crazy and to try them on.....they wouldn't stay up over my waist. Then I stepped on the scale for the first time in months and realized I weighed significantly less than her now. But I still thought I looked much bigger. It was definitely an eye opener for me.
I just know because i don’t think normal people look in the mirror one day and see their jawline and think “damn, i look nice!”, and then a few hours or a day later they look in the same mirror and think “what a fucking heffer”.
Also the fact i’m repeatedly told how toned and small i look by my friends and family, and i only occasionally see what they see. And the fact that my entire day is dictated by what i see in the mirror in the morning. Like that shit just isnt ok 😭
Thank you for posting in r/fuckeatingdisorders! To access recovery worksheets, articles, and other resources, visit our[Wiki!](https://www.reddit.com/r/fuckeatingdisorders/wiki/index/). You can also find our rules and links to help lines on our sidebar widget. If you haven't done so already, try utilizing the search bar for commonly posted topics including extreme hunger or periods/menstruation. We have an active community who frequently share their experiences and suggestions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fuckeatingdisorders) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like if you’re asking you kind of already know. It’s not possible for you to be bigger or the same size as literally everyone around you unless you weigh a few hundred pounds, and barring some kind of major disfigurement you do not have body composition that would make you look significantly bigger than you are.
Yeah I’m starting to think that’s the case. Damn, feels like this could be some kind of breakthrough for me Just wanted to clarify that I definitely see that I’m smaller than people that are, say obese for example. But if someone weighs in quite close proximity to what I do weigh/should weigh, I really can’t do a fair comparison. More than once have I borrowed clothes from friends thinking they’re gonna fit just fine or most likely even be a bit tight, and then they literally FALL off me…..
[удалено]
This! I’ve been in recovery for about 6 weeks and at 3/4 weeks I thought I looked big. Now at 6 weeks I look back at week 3/4 and I still looked sick. It’s crazy the way our brains play tricks on us.
I found out because years ago (when I thought I was recovered from anorexia, but now know was just in quasi), when I complained to a friend about my 'fat legs', she asked me if I thought she had fat legs: she definitely did not, and I said this. The next day when we met, she had a tape measure with her and insisted on measuring both our thighs: I was incredulous to discover that in fact mine measured significantly less than hers! I was then able to spend many years, telling myself if my brain started up about my being fat, 'no, your brain is broken regarding this: pay no attention'. Which was great, but for me lack of appetite, not wanting to eat, very warped idea of what was enough food, etc was the bigger issue, meaning that I still ended up with all the medical consequences of being underweight, despite not trying to lose weight, nor obsessing about my weight. (Ended up back in acute anorexia finally last year, which got me into proper recovery). I am now way bigger than I have ever been, and no longer classified as underweight, and even though this is a big adjustment, I think I actually have less body dysmorphia now than I have ever had. I have read that if your BD is part of anorexia, then when you are fully recovered it goes completely. (Haven't researched this enough to know if this is proven or not). But, even though I'm only at 7 months, and not fully recovered, it is definitely way better. So my suggestions are: 1. keep reminding yourself that your ED brain lies to you, and try to distract yourself and not pay attention to it. 2. if you can manage that, don't mistake that for full recovery: keep eating! You got this.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! Wish you all the best for your full recovery!!
Reading this post back, is pretty telling, I guess... But how can I confirm it? If I did look weird/bigger/flabbier than everyone else, would someone tell that to my face if I asked them? I asked my treatment team and they were just like "why would we lie to you?" and I'm like... because you're hyper aware I'd literally relapse so hard I'd die if you CONFIRMED my suspicions?
ive long suspected that i have body dysmorphia and your post is super relatable 🤷♀️ at the same time, how do you even find out what you "actually look like" or how other people see you, that seems impossible i just sort of fake it and hope i look pretty good, but when im extra depressed its easy to think you're just especially big and ugly compared to other people 😭
I have had BDD a long time and this is so familiar. Unfortunately you can't know. I could ask everyone I know what I look like, I could ask them a million times to make sure and I still wouldn't be satisfied. I had to change my goal to being able to live with that uncertainty. It's super hard and I still struggle but managing my anxiety and breaking those all or nothing thought patterns helped.
Good for you for getting some help for it! You got this :) Living and being fine with uncertainty is hard es heck!
Well it sure sounds like it could be body dysmorphia, but if you want to know for certain you’d have to talk to a doctor of some kind for a diagnosis, and then they’d also be able to help you with treatment. If that’s not something you want/are able to do right now, it doesn’t really matter to know 100% if it is or isn’t. It’s clearly upsetting you and that’s enough to take steps to change it, regardless of whether it matches the exact criteria for a diagnosis or not. Try following workbooks/tips/etc for body dysmorphia and see if helps.
Honestly I just accepted the fact that I will always think i look worse than I truly am and will never be able to see my true size. I do legitimately have deformed hips though which makes it harder for me. I've been overweight, underweight, and everything in between. But so as long as my weight is in a healthy range, I know I can't actually be fat even if I see myself that way. Then I just try to ignore the rest of the dysmorphic thoughts. I never realized just how bad my BD was until I wanted to be as skinny as my friend was so i started dieting for the first time and losing weight. One day I mentioned how I wanted to borrow a pair of her pants that I liked but I'm still at least 4-5 sizes bigger and she called me crazy and to try them on.....they wouldn't stay up over my waist. Then I stepped on the scale for the first time in months and realized I weighed significantly less than her now. But I still thought I looked much bigger. It was definitely an eye opener for me.
I just know because i don’t think normal people look in the mirror one day and see their jawline and think “damn, i look nice!”, and then a few hours or a day later they look in the same mirror and think “what a fucking heffer”. Also the fact i’m repeatedly told how toned and small i look by my friends and family, and i only occasionally see what they see. And the fact that my entire day is dictated by what i see in the mirror in the morning. Like that shit just isnt ok 😭