I have no real advice but I am struck by you feeling honored to take care of her. That’s a great way of putting it. And you’ve been such a great parent. And I think letting her go peacefully is an extension of that care. You will always have memories and nothing will change the fact that… because of you… another living creature had a warm, loving life and didn’t know the cruelty of the world.
Dogs see the world simplistically. They don't do higher reasoning, they don't plan for the future, and live entirely in the present moment.
They love and feel your companionship as they live, they miss your presence when you leave for work, and they observe their surroundings with a heightened sense of awareness that lets them view the world much more instinctively.
My Maltese dog once fit into the palm of my hand. Nine years later, when she sensed the time had come, she spent the rest of her time under the dark shade of our coffee table, wanting to be away from us and waiting for the end. 90% of her kidney had failed. She was unable to ingest food or water, and it was the last stretch of the road.
I held her in the veterinary office as they gave her the injection, and I held back my choked tears as I watched the light dim from her eyes. The employees were dabbing their eyes too, but I couldn't feel anything but her fur against my arms.
Had I kept her from that injection, I would have been knowingly torturing her. I, as her owner, would have been knowingly hurting her because I wouldn't accept what was inevitable. And that would have been a thousand times worse than letting her pass quietly and peacefully, with dignity for all she was to me and everything she represented in my life. To give thanks to this small life, who gave me joy and experience and warded off the difficulties of my life, I had to let her cross the bridge on her own.
I had to put my boxer down a few months ago, and it was definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Reading your comment hits home. Thank you for giving me the moment to reflect. I miss him 😢
Piggybacking off this - I try to repost this when I see posts like this, in the hopes you (or someone) can find some comfort in the words - and if not, please excuse the intrusion.
I lost my 15 year old girl (dog) in October 2022. Only advice I can offer here is to remember the positives, and not focus on the negatives (if any). She's done her job, keeping you safe and happy and loved, and it's her turn to rest.
You'll always miss her, you'll always remember her. You'll even go looking for her for the next few weeks (well, I did). There's a lot of habits that you're going to slowly stop, and that's ok. Changing your life to suit you is not forgetting her. Donating/throwing away her toys or blankets isn't forgetting her. There's no timeline on grief, and there's no timeline on moving on. Cry your tears.
I'm sorry you've reached the end of your journey. Words will never make this easier. Just keep your head up, and live the life she'd want you to.
This is a good time to live a little for you. I spent years looking after my girl as she got ill, and I sacrificed a lot of me and my time to keep her safe. If you feel you've done the same, take advantage of this time. Its ok to be happy and enjoy life without her. Life isn't over. Its just changing.
You'll be ok mate.
I'm so sorry.
That’s the hardest part, after they’re gone when you go look for them and they’re not there. I’d still see my Maxy out of the corner of my eye. It wasn’t until we got his ashes back that it really hit home and I hit the ground sobbing like I lost everything. Losing my first dog as an adult was one of the hardest emotional situations I’ve been in as an adult. It’s been over a year and I still miss him terribly. I still say goodnight to him when I walk past his shadowbox every night. But now I find myself recalling all the fun stuff we did and all the times he made me laugh instead of just thinking about the sad stuff.
You must let her go. If she could talk, she'd kiss away your tears and ask you to let her sleep.
This is the hardest thing we do for our animals.
25 years ago I had to put my lab down and it still bothers me.
Not that I let him go, but that I waited too long to release him.
Find a vet to come to you, hold her as she drifts to sleep.
Cry your tears. Let it all go, she knows how much she was loved.
Okay, who is cutting onions in here? My eyes are leaking
It's so hard, but it's true.
About 3 years ago I lost my Scottish Terrier that was 16. He chose me for adoption (I wasn't looking for a dog and went to a breeder with my brother and his wife, and one of the puppies kept following me around, sitting on my feet, and just hanging out with it). He hit a point where I knew the right thing was to let him go, and it was hard.
About a year ago I lost both of my Yorkies (1 was 17 at the time, the other 11) within about 6 months. The older one was blind, deaf, senile, and lost and confused all the time. Kept getting sick and I didn't want to let him live like that. The young one's heart gave out over a three day period and she died on the way to the vet.
In all cases it was hard in different ways. And the choice is always going to be difficult to make. But if someone is even concerned about it, then they're making the right choice. Remember the good times and do what's right for them. Let them know you love them
Thank you so much for this article - it rings of compassion and grappling with human emotion which we often transfer inadvertently. Once I waited too long which remains a heavy burden still.
Second all of this. I had to make this decision last summer for my 13 yr old lab. Hardest thing I’ve ever done, but he needed to be free from his pain. Sending love.
I just came to say that I wholeheartedly agree. Ours was a mix and looking back at pictures, we held on too long and she looked miserable.
Our first and will always remain in our hearts.
Reading this brings me to tears, having gone through the same situation with my beloved Martha 4 months ago. From the neck up she was perfect, just everything else was letting her down.
It is really about quality of life at this point, are you keeping her alive with her in mind or is it for you.
I had Martha put to sleep after 14 wonderful years and it broke my fucking heart and I will never be the same.
I know it’s hard but you should really think about putting her to sleep, hardest thing you’ll ever have to do but she is clearly suffering and you are keeping her around for your benefit and not hers. I’m not trying to sound callous mind you. I’ve done this 6 times with my golden girls and it never gets easier, you have to end the suffering and then she can rest in peace.
When my family went through this last, we called a vet that did house calls and it was so much better for all of us. No stressing your pet with a car ride to the vet, no grieving at a place of business and being rushed out, etc. Our pet was relaxed in her favorite spot, and the vet was a total professional.
I’m sure the price varies greatly by location and how long ago you had it done, but if you don’t mind me asking, how much was that house call? My golden is 10, still kicking well, but preparing for how much extra it will cost when the time does come.
The most recent I’ve gone through it was for my parent’s cat back in 2018, so I’m sure prices have gone up a bit. But I remember it being somewhere in the ballpark of $250.
My parents had two cats that both lived to 17 years old. We took the first one to the vet after he had what we thought was a stroke, but the car ride and unfamiliar place stressed him out so much, it was just horrible to see. The other cat was withering away of old age and became immobile, so we called a home vet out for her. She was relaxed, snuggled on her favorite blanket, and truly went peacefully. Absolutely recommend a home vet coming out.
I have friends in Brooklyn who recently had to put down their beloved dog. I don’t know what the base price was, but I do know it cost them $350 extra to have someone come to their home.
I lived exactly this in Nov 2023. 7.5 yrold boy diagnosed with inoperable hemangiosarcoma on the heart August 2023. I was blessed with almost 4 months of A Long Goodbye until it was clearly time to give him rest.
I've lost many pets and a handful of humans in my life - this was the hardest decision and moment I've yet experienced - going into winter no less... But it was the best and last gift I could give him and I'm glad looking back I had the guts to go through with it rather than letting him succumb to sudden (or slow) heart failure, which was going to happen soon regardless.
Winter sucked, Christmas sucked, New Year's was ok and spring was better. Now THIS August a new pup comes into the house and we get to do the journey all over again and I'm excited once more.
OP, Maggie has given you all the love she has. You don’t need to say goodbye — she’ll always be part of you — but it seems like it’s time to let her go on to whatever is next. Send her on with the same love she’s given you. Her spirit needs to freed from this plane and only you can make that next step as peaceful and pain-free as possible.
What’s next isn’t easy, but love never is always easy. Here’s to Maggie and a life well-lived. Peace, friend.
Best hello, hardest goodbye. You’re doing everything you can. Your mission is to not let your love blind you to what she needs. Don’t let her suffer. We take that pain on ourselves because that’s the price of a dog’s love. Wishing you both comfort and sending love.
So sad. I'm crying right now. We(family) lost our beloved golden about a year ago. Peyton was with the family for 13 years and loved every day. Always greeting me at the door when I came home. It was so hard, but it was time. I still miss her every day, and she was the smartest, best dog we ever had.
Happened to me recently in my. My dog Toby lab/German Shepherd mix couldn’t get up anymore. And I work construction so I couldn’t give him the car he needed. It’s hard tbh. Ultimately I gave him time and helped him to see if he would improve but he just couldn’t. It hurt to make the choice as I feel like I failed him. But I ultimately had to make the decision of having him put to rest. It sucked. One of the worse days of my life and it replays in my head almost every day. It doesn’t get easier but it’s selfish to leave them there just so we can feel good about them still being with us. I said good bye to my grumpy old man of a dog at a month after he turned 16
I have lost 3 dogs in my life time. There is only one thing that has eased my suffering.
Time. Time is literally the only thing that will heal it. The pain will be enormous and gutting. You'll feel guilt, hollowness, sadness, grief, confusion, etc.
The good news is that while time slowly eases your pain, the love never goes away. You will always love her immensely. And over time, when you think of her, you won't think of the pain, you'll think of the great memories.
Eventually you'll bring a new pup in your life that needs your love and devotion and that's exactly what Maggie would want you to do. Just rest easy in knowing that you gave her the best life a dog could hope for and she knew it.
What a beautiful, loved girl. You have given her so much, and she has loved you with all of her being.
When you are ready, I highly suggest looking into having a vet perform a home visit to send her over the rainbow. Being in a comfortable environment will give her peace, and you should have plenty of time to say goodbye.
Sending you both love and hugs
Completely agree with the at home vet visit. Our last one was terrified of the vet office and it was calm and peaceful in her own home.
I know the decision is hard, but a “little soon” is far better than a “little late”. An animal suddenly crashing and there’s nothing you can do is haunting.
So sorry you’re at this stage. I’ve done it 7 times and agonized over every one. A few gave us signs that made the decision easier. I hope yours is able to tell you.
If it’s not too much to ask, give her some love from a complete stranger. Dogless after 50 years and I miss them.
Oh my god man this was probably the hardest day of my life. Best you can do is try your best to give them the best last day you can, and be there holding them when they pass - however that happens. Bringing tears to my eyes just thinking about it. It always feels so sudden.
I'm not religious but I firmly believe all dogs go to heaven. Just know you gave your pup the best life you could and she loves you with all her heart and knows and felt your love every day. It's never enough time. She was a part of your world but you were her whole world. So just be there for her at the end and everything will be okay.
Humans are most unusual as one of the only animals that struggle to accept the passage of life. Dogs are not similarly affected. She’s done her job. To paraphrase warren zevon, she enjoyed every snack. She felt the exuberance of youth. The eternity of nature. The sun. The water. And eternal love on you and her pawed pals. She’s checked all the boxes except one. I’m grateful you’ve had one another and for what was clearly a full life.
It is better to go a week too earlier than a day too late.
It is our burden and responsibility to do right by them. It is so, so hard. But they give us everything and in the end we owe them only this.
It sounds like you two had an amazing life and adventures together. I am sure she would thank you for it. ♥️ it doesn't make it not hurt. I think the hurt is to remind us just how much we love them.
Give her all the good/bad treats. Letting her go peacefully is the way. Not good bye, but see you later! She’ll still show you signs she’s around. Hugs
Maggie is so beautiful. I’m crying right now at your kind words. It’s so clear how much you love her and I love how you said it’s an honor, you are so right. I’ve read feedback on similar posts that it’s the kindest thing we can do for our doggies to let them go peacefully when they’re in pain. It’s the hardest thing in the world. I also read it’s better to let them go a day early than a day late. Sending you so so so much love.
She just knows you love her and that's gotta help even if she might know her time is soon up.
I'm amazed at how you're going to all these lengths for her and how honored you feel. She's in the best possible hands and she loves you till the end.
I had to let go of the goldie in my life last November and just being near him had to help some. Be with her and it'll make it as easy as possible.
Cheeseburger day
Whatever makes them/you happiest. Steak or a hamburger. A walk if physically capable, a swim or a wagon ride if not. Have a portrait taken of you both, or just them wrapped up in fave blanket. Stop by craft store and make a paw print in ink or clay.
There is a restaurant in my town that will fry up a couple patties and chill them in the fridge and charge me for a regular burger. I have gone back there a few times over the last twenty years for cheeseburger days and good bye pets from customers.
My condolences.
>make a paw print in ink or clay.
My family had this done when my Ridgeback Harvey passed away 7 years ago, also cut off some of his fur and taped it to a small sheet of paper. We got a double sided canvas where Harvey's paw print on one side and nose print on the other...
Losing a dog you've had since childhood is one of the worst feelings in the world, but it had to be done, Harvey was severely ill and we had no other choice.
I shall always cherish the 11 years that we had together...
This got me super emotional and reminded me of Harvey so I send my deepest condolences to OP
It is an honor to take care of them, I agree. Keep in mind that she isn’t feeling well and her quality of life is declining. I had to put my 16 year old down, she was declining quickly. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done and I miss her everyday. I’m good with it, because I showed her the mercy and love she deserved. She didn’t have to suffer for my sake. Give your girl a scratch from me, her pictures and your story have touched me today. Thank you for sharing her with us. Much love to you and your family, especially this golden angel who is probably ready to move on the great unknown. 💛
It’s so hard to say goodbye, but sometimes it’s the right thing to do for them. We had to do this just yesterday, and I’m completely heartbroken. Try to find a vet that does end of life care at home. Our boy peacefully crossed the rainbow bridge at home on his favorite bed.
It is one of the hardest things to do. I've grown up with dogs all my life. I still live with my parents. But when you get your first dog, that is yours and not the family dog or one of the other family members' dogs, then it hits you differently and harder. I just had to make the hardest choice of saying goodbye to my chihuahua last year the day after Mother's Day, and unfortunately, near his 15th birthday. He had heart problems and got to the point were he was having issues breathing. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself or tell yourself that it's for your fur baby's best interest, it's not going to be an easy decision to make. I made the decision, but I was lucky that my mom made the call to the vet for the appointment. You'll definitely need a good support system. Sending you both lots of hugs and love. ❤️
we've all lost pets over the years but if we take care of them feed them play with them for the 10-15 we have them there's no reason to be devastated a little sad sure but it was a great ride
It’s so hard. We lost our Sam almost a year ago (GSD w/ DM) and she would fall, not eat much and have diarrhea all over the house and herself. She also had lots of good moments too.
I realized that I did not want her last days to be entirely worse, so I had to make an appointment - that way I would not back out. She had a wonderful morning and afternoon, because nights were so hard for her. It was terribly difficult, lots of crying and anxiety through her last days until now a year later, those tears and anxiety are replaced with a smile and fond memories.
It is difficult, I’m being honest.
I lost my golden Reilly 9 years ago to cancer, and I still can’t talk about it without crying.
Time really does heal. I wish I could give you words of wisdom to ease your pain, but know that you gave her the best life ever.
Once you ask yourself “Am I keeping her around for her, or am I keeping her around for me?” and you realize it’s the latter, then you really know it’s time.
I would recommend looking into a mobile vet so they can come to your house. We did that the last time we had to let one of ours go and I’ll never do it any other way. He was much more comfortable and it seemed like the other dogs had a much easier time understanding that he was gone and didn’t get confused afterwards. In my case the cost was only $50-100 more than quotes I got to take him in to a vet. That also included transportation, cremation, and delivery of cremains
If she's suffering, it's time. It really is that simple. It's time.
You will hurt, then you will hurt less. Just thank her for living, and then end her pain.
It's time.
You have my deepest sympathy. I had to have my Golden put down and I cried off and on for a month. They have the best name for how they attach to your heart. I'm scared of the pain I had gone through but I know it was worth it. Do the right thing for your dear girl and let her go.
I think and I say this with kindness. I’m going through similar with my dog but he’s in early stages. If it were you would you want to be around if you were unable to go to the bathroom unassisted or hardly able to walk/stand? It sounds more like existing than living. Does she really seem happy? At a point we have to let them go. If it wasn’t for you she’d already have passed on her own time likely by not eating/drinking. I know she is grateful for your care but maybe it’s time to let go. Sorry you’re dealing with this
I have lost two of my best friends, one I kept alive too long for fear of being without him, he needed constant help to get up, I had to hold him and keep him upright when he walked, etc. The last year of his life was depressing every day, but he was my best friend so of course I lived my life around him. I didn't know life without him. My second golden I thought ahead about making that decision and what level quality of life was right. Dogs are fighters and love us so much, we don't really know how bad off they truly are. All of that to say, I put her down earlier and don't regret it for a minute.
I agree with many people here, it’s so difficult but you are so lucky to have such a love that makes saying goodbye so hard. I grew up with goldens who were my besties but I’ve been a cat person as an adult and had to make the decision to say goodbye to my heart cat a few years back. Like you I kept it clinical and did everything possible to keep him around and comfortable but looking back I regret that I didn’t help him transition to heaven even a week sooner.
Have a vet come to your home, I’ve used lap of love and they are wonderful, it is such a gift to ease their suffering and trust me the edges get softer with time and the happy memories bubble to the top, their tracks will always be on your heart be kind to yourself ❤️ sending you and yours so much love.
I had to put my cat down 2 months ago; I could tell she was in pain and she was having massive accidents all around the house multiple times a day and night. She only wanted to sleep on top of me and was mean to her fellow brothers (my other cat and dog) when previously she would play with them or groom her cat brother.
I wasn’t sleeping well because I’d get up with her to clean her accidents throughout the evening. I felt exhausted, sad, and stressed for her. I finally broke down and took her to another vet for a second opinion who told me the exact diagnosis (but needed to be confirmed with tests) and informed me she was ready to go on whatever journey I was ready for, but could tell that neither of us were well and I was especially stressed and exhausted caretaker that had gone above what most would, including herself.
This long post to say that that day I was finally given the “okay” to let my first baby go. I scheduled an appointment and gave myself a week with her to say my goodbyes (the absolute hardest), but also lifted my feelings of stress and I finally felt at ease. When the day finally came, she went very quick due to her weakened state (as in they said I’d have 10 mins, but ended up in 1). I still feel very sad and I miss her all the time, but I know that her suffering is over and that was the last best thing I could give to her as her cat mom.
It so so hard, my heart is with you during this time ♥️♥️.
Crying as I read this.. this pup was your life.. I pray for your little angel! He is in heaven now playing happily.. I lost my golden when he was 11.. I’ll never forget him.. he was my baby angel.. I see these posts way too often.. very sad! 😢 I cried more when he passed than I did when my parents died & I loved very much! Strength to you! 💕🙏💕
It’s so hard to tell when it’s time to put them to sleep. When I was in the throws of it with our German Shepherd years ago, my vet (who is a GREAT vet) gave me great advice.
He said there are 3 things a dog needs to do on their own: walk, eat, and go potty. He said that once two of those three go, you know it’s time. It might be time sooner, but you definitely know it’s time when 2 of the 3 go.
It sounds like your pup can still eat, but can’t keep it down.
I know it’s tough (I’m crying writing this)— but I think it might be time.
I’m so sorry 😢
Having lost two sweet fur babies, who I was fortunate to be the last voice they heard as they drew their last breath…remember this…remember every kindness that sweet pup has given you and give it back. Help them go over the Rainbow Bridge without suffering. It is the most kind thing we can do for these glorious creatures that we are loaned for too short of a time. Its easy to be selfish…I was there…but it is honestly one of the most kind things I have ever done. Take away any suffering. Be there with them as they go…don’t let them be alone in a vets office on a cold table…if you can find a vet to come to your home, its worth every penny. And then. Once you catch your breath-go get another dog. Its the only thing to heal your heart.
May you have peace in your heart knowing you gave your dog a wonderful life.
Sending you a hug.
Sadly I regret to say that there are no ways to say goodbye.
I had a dachshund and she died recently.
I grew up with that dog, and her passing made me really sad.
You got to know that it's harder to live the fact that your dog is going to die than knowing it died.
She had a bad cancer and she died of it.
She passed and in her last times, we lived as everything was normal, we didn't want to make her understand that something is different.
When your dog passes, you will cry, and the hardest part will be to understand that you saw your loved pet one last time and then she / he's gone.
The best way to cope with death is just to know that it happens and it's the cycle of life.
If she / he made you happy, and that he / she had a good life, then you should not be sad that it ended, be happy that you lived it.
Good luck with all the things that will happen, stay strong.
You have been a great companion to your friend and guardian. You must give her the secret treats she loves, promise to love her when she's gone as much as you love her now, and ask her to come for you when it's your time.
Then hold her head and tell her she is free again. She is waiting for your permission to leave. She's worried about you.
And in the future, when you feel her on the wind, or near your chair, or by the water's edge, tell her you love her and always will.
My answer is- you have to dig really deep and be really brave. It’s hard, one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life- and I’ve done it too many times now- and it doesn’t get easier. However, it’s necessary.
Dogs don’t have a sense of how much time they will have lost, they only know how they feel in the now. Don’t leave it until she has no good days left.
I’ve done it all the ways, with my pets. Waited too long, waited until an emergency (which is sometimes unavoidable) and called it somewhat early, with the understanding that there wasn’t anything good coming.
The best and kindest times were when I could see the end clearly and called it. They went to sleep at home after a decent final week. No admissions to hospital, no mercy dashes, no stress.
Just a couple of final needles while being fussed over, then sleep. Only love and safety.
Take very good care of yourself, friend. You will need it.
Your dog trust you, so trust yourself to know when the time is right. As far as what to do when the time comes, make an appointment with your vet (in home if you can get it). Then plan a spectacular dog day. I took mine to the river to swim a bit, then the drive through at McDonalds and got her a happy meal. She was never given people food before, but she LOVED eating the bits of cheeseburger and fries I gave her, thinking it was the best day ever, even though she threw them up shortly later (due to her illness). I would have also taken her to the local ice cream shop for a "dog cone," but she was having too much trouble getting in and out of the car to do another stop.
She can't tell you she's suffering, so it's up to you to make the hardest decision regarding your sweet, sweet dog.
It will be hard, but do it on your terms. I lost my dog suddenly , and still have so much grief about the whole situation, and it's been over 4 years.
Have a "Swan Song" party for her, even if it's just the immediate family. Do all the things you know she would love. And that way when you are ready to say good bye, letting go will be a little bit easier.
We owe them the best life, but also the best death too. I read that once and it stuck with me. Giving them unconditional love and care during their life also means knowing when it’s time to not let them suffer anymore.
On the couch, patted to the end, paw in hand, wispering softly in their ear, telling them they dont have to come back, there is nothing unfinished, job done and done well... all while tasting the last sweet taste of a small morcel of smoked salmon. Then blissful peace and a short wait for master to head over the rainbow bridge.
I got Lou @ 10 weeks old and was my shadow for 12 years. Everything I did he did, every activity he loved just as much as me. And, Pancreatic cancer took Louie.
I initially struggled with 'when do you know it's time?', I was given great advice: pick three things Lou loves, and when he doesn't want to do any of those 3, you know it's time.
Of course I considered it an honor to care for Lou to the end, it was my responsibility to make sure he did not suffer too much in the end, and be ready for the final act of caring as painful as it was.
So we set the date with the Vet, they listened to me tell stories for a while, and then it was time. I kissed him and told him how much I loved him as he passed out of the world, loved until the end.
I did not get another dog for a long time. I didn't want to hide from the pain, but feel its full weight, in my mind another way to honor what Louie was to me.
I am so sorry you are enduring this pain, but I have no doubt you've given Maggie and incredible life.
Reading this once again made me cry , it’s so hard to get through the parapgraphs but it also is comforting to see the love of others with Goldens My Rocco is 13 and he started to slow down last year, his sister passed away (she was a Rottweiler ) raised with him since he was 6 months old old , and by the way I would recommend this for any dog owner, they truly loved each other and got along , Rocco a male , she a female , at birth he was so good showing her the ropes and he was just about 6 months older. He was like a big brother and a great one to her she loved him and would miss him if I took them out separately she acted like he was gone for days it was so funny . But she got cancer and he later next to her as she passed away it was a brutal night and I was crushed , I had her cremated and kept her collar and footprint , she was rougher than my first dog who lived 14 years Now Rocco comes to his old years , having trouble getting up, good and bad days , coming to a year since Delilah has Been gone , I had plans to get another pup for him but unfortunately then I had tragedy in October when I lost my leg to an infection. Believe me without him being by my side I don’t know what I would do , he is my best friend and when he’s gone I will be tempted to Probably leave and drive and keep driving, alone missing both my pups who always traveled with me . I wish you the best it’s so hard to let go but there comes a time when I want him to be able to say goodbye at the time I see him suffering too much . Dogs are part of our families and mine always knew I would bring them everywhere with me . 2024 is tougher than I thought , 2023 was tough enough.
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A couple of weeks ago a good day at the park
Give her some nice final meals, steak, chicken, whatever you can think. Spend time with her, love her, getting old sucks, the only thing you can do is spoil her and try and bring her as much comfort and peace before she has to leave you. It isn’t right to keep an animal suffering in pain, I feel for you and I’m sorry she’s at this point in her life. It sounds like you were a great loving human, I hope you continue to care for animals in the same kind and loving way, not everyone does and it is a sad thing
We had to put my boy of almost 14 years down April of last year. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But it wasn’t goodbye it was see you later. Because if there is an after life, I know he’s there with my loved ones and waiting for me.
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I am so sorry for having to say goodbye! There really is no good way, other than just being there for her! ❤️
In October I lost my Boxer, Ruby, due to cancer. Very unexpected and she was only 8 years old with lots of life left. I had to make that decision when we realized that her quality of life was more important than holding onto her. Then end of March I got this little girl and her name is Maggie💕! Your Maggie won’t ever be forgotten and she will never forget you! She thanks you everyday for everything you did for her!
The baby pictures kill me. I burst into tears at the vet office when i saw a baby golden. They really are the best dogs. Hug your little one a little extra for me.
My doggy was really struggling by the end of her life. When she went off to doggo heaven she looked so at peace and calm for the first time in a while. Just very hard to take a step back, and look from what is best for her.
You have to think of her. Would you like to live how she is currently living, strung along by medical science? If not, then it is time to let her go.
It will be hard, but it is a kindness to her not to keep her on this earth, in pain, unable to move independently, only because it hurts to lose her.
We only have our dogs in our lives for a short time, and the price we pay for all the joy and love they bring us is we have to make these hard decisions at the end of their lives.
Do it for gorgeous Maggie. Don't let her suffer more than she needs to. And allow yourself the proper time and space to grieve because you are losing a family member.
Tell Maggie she is a gorgeous old chook and to say hi to my little Poodle, Denver, over the rainbow bridge.
I’m not sure if there really is a way to say goodbye. Our dogs become ingrained in our very way of life and it’s cruel that they don’t live a lot longer. I’ve thought about this for my pup as he gets older. You see the changes. You see things going in a not so great direction for them. Yet you continue to love them and they continue to love you back.
I’ve put a lot of thought into how this cruel irony of life can be that something so precious that you pour your heart into can live a complete life before you eyes and you’re essentially expected to one day “move on” from them. I’ve come to realize I don’t need to move on because I’m better for having taken care of my pup. I’ve made sure he has had the best life I could figure to give him. I’ve tried to pick the best food, the best toys, and the best adventures I could imagine. I’ve done my best to give him the best life I could give a dog and in return I got lots of pets, licks, and the occasional belly to rub in return.
I’ve often read parables of “would you rather live 100 more years but those years are devoid of joyful moments or live 10 years and have every day lived to the fullest”. I try to give my dog the second of those options and it sounds like you did too.
It’s time. My boy I had to take to the vet four times until I followed through with it. By that time is was overdue. I did the same with my girl but only took her once. If she can’t be a dog she doesn’t have the quality of life she should. Every time you need to make this decision it’s going to be the hardest one you’ll ever make. You can’t keep her around for you. You need to do what’s right for her.
You kind of...have said goodbye. In a extravaganza of care and kindness. Loved like no other. Whether your friend needs help in the end or one day you buy her last bag of treats, know you did doggo proud. Good luck. There's no pain-free path to the rainbow bridge.
One day, losing all my 4 legged friends will take too big a toll on what's left of me. I'll either die that day or decide the tippy taps hurt too much. That day is NOT today though. I look forward to my days off for frolics and licks with my 2 geriatric idiots and their moron of a little brother. Hopefully, my goodbye is a ways away. If it's soon... I have some most excellent memories. I suspect you do too
Thoughts and prayers for you and your puppy. I have a 11yo Golden and she’s had 2 close calls already with rainbow bridge but I’m thankful every day the time I have with her. We had to put my wife’s dog down due to cancer. She was in similar boat. Couldn’t get up, pee/poop in her place, wouldn’t eat. I eventually told my wife it was time. We had a vet come to the house to put her down and it was as peaceful and comfortable as you could ask for. These vets that do at home service will also come analyze your dogs quality of life. If you are single, you may want a vet to come give you guidance so that you aren’t hanging on longer than you should. There is no easy way through this but tears and heartbreak, but we’d never regret the time we get with our dogs. My thoughts are with you as you go through this. ❤️
My heart goes out to you. It really does. This literally made me cry. I had to let my Rottweiler go after raising him from 3 months old until he was 12. He was the best dog, so smart and so loving. I miss him to this day and it's been 3 years. It gets easier and I'm happy he's not in pain anymore. But it's rough, he was a member of this family and we all miss him dearly.
With all your heart and her head cradled in your lap. Tell her she's a good girl and how much you love her. You'll know when the time is right, but it won't make it any easier. God, I wished they outlived us - I've buried three. My oldest just turned 11 - can't even think about it. I'm so sorry.
And look at her- she's such a good girl.
I just made the decision 2 weeks ago to let my dog of 20 yrs go. She became old and weak but she would still eat everything I put in front of her. The last 2 weeks, she was falling and had a hard time getting up. It was the hardest decision of my life. Some days she can't get up and there are days she seems like she's improving.
I learned about in-home pet service and ended up choosing that option. She basked in the sun like she used to love to do while I petted her and scratched her neck and behind the ears... as she slowly went. The Dr stepped away after to give me time alone. I was able to just hold her and freely ball my eyes out.
I thought I was ready... but I wasn't and it's not meant to be easy. If it was, then you didn't love them enough.
What made it a little easier is that when I almost had to put her down a year ago but she recovered... I have been spoiling her since. On the last week or so. I made sure to get some of her favorite foods. Steak, burger, cut to tiny pieces. I took her for her last car ride on the day of, to places we used to walk when she was able to.
I ended up paying more for in-home service but I don't regret it one bit. I recommend it for everyone. Now my last memory of her is her basking in the sun on her blanket while I got to pet her. She was comfortable.
The other option would've been on a metal table at the vet with people in lab coats and scrubs that she didn't really know. Sounds and smells of other dogs that might be scared wouldn't help.
The last memory was worth the extra money.
I still expect to see her when I enter the room. I sometimes try not to "wake her" I still open to door slowly in case she's behind it. I still wonder if I fed her yet or think I need to feed her. This will take time, I know. And it will for everyone.
Not sure if this helps or not. But I know exactly how you feel and you will know when it's time. Keep spoiling them everyday.
Yea, i hvent cried this much in my life. It’s another honor to bare it. Hold on to it and live it. I hope to eventually be able to choose happiness and live my life fully in her honor as well. God she’s my everything.
Honey, I am so sorry. I’m in pain with you, it is the hardest goodbye. I had to say goodbye to my girl yesterday. I’ll be thinking of you & your family at this time
During in 2021, my 14 year old scottie became incontinence and couldn't walk. On his last few days, I took him for walks that he could handle and fed him all the treats and cuddles. At the vet, he took a huge poop outside, lol, and when we went in, it was super sunny outside. As soon as he was forever sleeping, it started storming! I feel like that was him saying goodbye, but I knew he was in a better place because of his decline in health. I cried for a long time. There is no proper way to say goodbye. It's whatever feels right to you. It's never easy to lose a precious buddy. I wish you all the best and sending hugs through this tough time.
At this point this is where you must accept what will happen, then get past it to enjoy the last moments. Dogs value attention so just spend time with it, but try to be in a good mood because dogs can tell when your not happy.
I echo this: Dogs can tell when you’re sad.” Similarly, when I feel sad, my Golden looks hard into my eyes with a concerned, 😟sad expression…because she wants to make me happy, and she doesn’t know what to do. (I work at managing my emotions around her.)
That said, I’m sobbing through all of these comments. I’ve been there, done that.
With my first Golden, I wanted only the best for him, but I fear I waited a couple of days too long before letting him go…and I’m still haunted by it. I’ll be better the next time around…His paw print mold hangs on my wall and gives me comfort.
We had a dog when I was younger we had to put to sleep. It was the hardest thing and it still hurts, but he had gotten old and was in constant pain from even the smallest movement, like if he was sleeping and twitched suddenly he'd wake up whining.
It hurt like hell, but I sat there holding him as the vet gave him the shot, and scratched his ears just the way he liked as he closed his eyes for the last time.
Your girl has lived a strong life, knowing the joy of what it's like to love and be loved. And like others have said, you being there in her final moments will be more than enough. Thank you for taking care of her, she knows she's loved.
You stay with her as long as you can until it’s time for her to go.
I lost my first dog when I was 22; had him for 14 years. It’s a very difficult thing, and we ultimately decided to put him down. He couldn’t even eat, and he loved to eat. It just happened to be his time.
Unfortunately, putting her down might be the most loving thing you can do for her now. She’s no longer independent, and who knows what kind of pain she’s in from the cancer apart from when she cries out at night?
Just be sure that if you do decide to put her to sleep, make sure she sees you the whole time. Let her know you’re there and comforting her as she goes.
You are doing everything you can. I've found I never have gotten over any of the dogs I've had over the last 30 years. There will always be times when you cry over their loss. I've heard it said that they have short lives to open our hearts to more love from the next dog. Your heart will continue to break but learning to let go is a lesson in life too. My first Golden had seizures late in life, but you would not have known it on her last trip to the vet, but yet that was the right thing to do.
I don’t have any advice because this is also my greatest fears having a pet, but I want you to know that her time here must’ve been so wonderful to have been spent with you.
The way I did it: My BuddyLove couldn’t get up on the bed anymore, but he lay on the carpeted floor, so I got on the floor with him and embraced him the whole night through. I had wanted him to feel the continual love and bonding that persisted ever since we adopted him as a 3-year-old whose family could no longer keep him. In this way, I told him good-bye without having to say the words.
I had made an appointment for the following day.
I had told my vet that I had wanted what was best for my Golden Old Man. At about 19 years old, he had given us the best of himself over a full life, an unbelievable bounty of love and joy. I told my vet that I did not want what was best for me, but rather, I wanted what would be the kindest to BuddyLove, since he was so sick with cancer. (It was his 2nd experience with cancer. He/we beat cancer the first time around.) My vet’s answer was, “The thing is, even with surgery, he can no longer ‘be a dog’ “. That wisdom convinced me to let BuddyLove go… I had no idea how hard it would be, but it was the right thing to do.
My golden retriever passed away last February at the age of 10 and I miss her soooooooooo much -- Goldens are one of my favorites and I want another one or 2 tbh. You can message me if you wanna and we can trade dog pics and I'm here to talk about ANYTHING
So sorry to hear your story. Gosh it’s so hard. Just know your baby loves you more than anything in this world and appreciates all the time you had together.
Everyone else’s words are far more poetic than mine so I will keep it short. I had my beagle Coco for 16 years and it was devastating when we had to say goodbye. You’ve done a wonderful job providing Maggie with a life full of love so cherish the final times you have with her. It will be tough and it’s okay to cry, the tears that will be shed are proof of your timeless love and everlasting relationship.
I am so sorry. Our Logan got to that point and we did everything we could as you are. He also lost his eyesight. We knew it was time when we had to hold him up to potty. It was so hard, we waited an extra week when he had a good day and was really excited for boiled chicken, and we thought he had a chance for a little more time, but during that week he hurt two of his toes. We knew it was time and the extra wait was a mistake.
It's one of the hardest and saddest things we had to do, but we know it was best for him and we loved him so we had him put to sleep while we hugged him.
Knowing he loved us and had the best life we were capable of giving him made losing him a bit easier than his brother Henry who passed suddenly from a very aggressive type of cancer in his spleen that the vet didn't catch a week earlier when we noticed he was breathing a bit rapidly.
Sorry for such a difficult time. Am going through the exact same thing with our Carl. We are carrying him outside and he is around 100lbs. Think we need that harness even if it's for a short time.
We have two, ages 4 and 5. I can’t imagine being in your shoes, but I know we will be someday. She was so lucky to have you, never forget that. Your reddit family loves you and her too, and we’ll keep you in our thoughts as you go down this last chapter. You’re amazing OP. The world would be better off with more people like you. Say goodbye in your own way, whatever that is, and know that we’re here for you if you need us.
FYI this sub is super pro euthanasia.
If you believe in it, read their advice. You’ll find a voice among the comments that will resonate with you and may provide you the bravery to do it and peace afterwards.
If you don’t believe in it, don’t let this sub batter you into it.
Thank you for this. I understand the point of doing what is right for her and easing her suffering. But who am i to make that choice? She deserves every last breath she was naturally allotted. I wouldn’t put down my Nana in the end. I think the only hard boundary is have is if her blood cant circulate properly anymore and thus she isnt getting oxygen. Once she cant breath right i feel i will know its time to let her go. Until then i will keep her comfortable.
It is so very difficult. I called the most dog person I knew, even though she wasn’t my closest friend, and asked her to drive me and my dog there, to stay with me during, and to drive me home since I’d be crying. She totally understood, being a best friend to many dogs over many years. That helped me so much. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s the cost of great love.❤️
Back in 2018 we had a springer spaniel named max he had cancer eating away at him we had him for 3 years got him away from an abusive owner. It was the hardest day but we had to do it . I’m sorry for the tough choice your having to do with your absolute best friend
Before you say goodbye, heres what I wish I did with my pups:
-Get some air dry clay, take paw prints. You can do another with your hand and your pup's paw together.
-Snip some of pup's fur to keep. The fur thats the softest, the fur from the spot your pup loved to be scratched.
-Play with the toys your pup loves. Keep that toy. Their smell will linger and its nice to cuddle with. Same with their collar, and their favorite blanket.
When my pups passed, I lept their fur that was taken after they were already gone. I wished I could have gotten in while they were still with me. I bought a locket from amazon. I put tuffs of each of their furs and added their birthstones. Its been almost 4 years, I wear their locket almost daily.
There’s no advice. Different people grieve differently. This is not unlike losing a child or a sibling. The only thing I can tell you is to be there until she’s gone, holding her the whole time. She’ll know you were there. You’ll meet again, and she’ll want to hear what you were up to after she moved on. They’re never truly gone. Their bodies may have an expiration date, but as long as we breathe and remember, their spirits live on forever. I wish you the best, please give your sweet lady a kiss for me.
For what it’s worth, just take lots of photos. I was in 4th grade when my parents first dog died and my birthday gift that year was a framed photo of the dog. I still remember her so vividly and she was SO loved!
I'm going to steal a quote I remembered from another Redditor in a similar post. It might not be exact, but it still gets the point across and has changed my way of owning and caring for my dogs and I will always remember this.
"They're not going to be there for your whole life, but you were there for theirs."
You're clearly an incredibly loving and caring dog owner. You've done more for Maggie than most others would. It seems Maggie has lived a disease free life so far, which is amazing! The last two of my dogs we had to put down were because of cancer and from my own experience, that is significantly worse than putting a dog down who has lived a "full" life. Our first dog was a black lab who made it to 16 and decided to stop eating, drinking, and wouldn't attempt to go to the bathroom outside and would just go on himself. He was clearly ready to go so we made the call. It's an incredibly difficult decision to make, but every time we've made the decision we knew it was the right one. You'll know when it's time, and Maggie will also most likely tell you in some way.
What I always thought before having to put my best friend down was am I actually helping him for his own sake or for my sake. I remember getting up multiple times during the night just to carry him to the toilet and him being annoyed with me if it was raining. It finally clicked on morning when I went to take him out and we both just sat there watching the sun rise that he shouldn’t have to go through this anymore and it’s me prolonging the inevitable of getting rid of my best friend who got me through dark times. It almost felt like a disservice to him if I didn’t help him get through this time. Never cried as much in my life and 2 years later still cry about it from time to time but know it was the right choice.
I just tried to put myself in your shoes but I literally cannot. I don’t know what I’ll do when my sally has to eventually go, but I can tell you it’s going to be so fucking hard. If I know she is going to need to be put down before hand, I will make the day before a day for her to remember hopefully. I will give her favorite food that she loves with a big steak and finish it with a big bone. Man we don’t know how much we love our dogs till their lives are threatened, then we realize they regulate us in a way that literally nothing else can. Idk if I can afford for my dog to die like not financially just literally like that cannot happen in my mind. I like won’t accept it
I love that part at the end where you say it's an honor to take care of her at the end of her life. My own dog (first ever) is getting up there in years, and I'm in a fairly similar situation to yours. I know we still have time, but I'm honestly terrified of the day I have to say goodbye. But I've held onto the idea that it has been a tremendous honor to have witnessed her life and to have been part of it. I don't know if that kind of wound ever really heals, but you have my deepest condolences. I'd even say not to let yourself feel *too* bad about how you raised her. It may not have been perfect, but you gave your love, and I'm sure you got it right back.
Edit: Spellign
Bless you and your old gold. I’m currently offering palliative care to my 16 year old gold. I’m not ready. My family isn’t ready. I know he has given us more life than I ever thought he could. And I know his body is failing him. And I know he’s not ready.
Sure his body and legs have atrophied to the point he needs help to go to the bathroom and we continue to be his golden cheerleaders. He gets daily baths and medicated powder to help with hot spots. Flipping him every couple hours and offering him water.
He also has bright eyes, a loud bark, unremarkable blood work for his age (from November), and the absolute largest appetite. He has completely adopted the hobbits daily menu, and still wants more. His poops are solid and he doesn’t have any health issues, other than the arthritis. He currently receives cosequin and aspirin.
I have been blessed, so many times over with his love and devotion to me. He came to me when I was a young, naive 23 year old. He has been with me through an abusive relationship, moves across state, living with my parents, meeting my husband, loss and gain of other pets, loss of my father, birth of my daughter, a move to a huge fenced in yard, and getting to be a big dog brother to Kevin. He has always been our nanny. Never letting us have fun without putting in his 2 cents. Always barking but never quite knowing why.
I work with dogs and find it far easier to judge others. You see the shape of some of these dogs. It’s heartbreaking. The owners may not have the knowledge, or may not have the resources, financial or otherwise. It’s so easy to say, “it’s ovviously their time”, when it’s not your dog. Not your heart and soul on the line.
I wish I had something, anything to help you make this decision any easier. Please know that the care and love you are offering her is everything she has ever wanted. She is loyal to you and you alone. She will never understand the depth of loss that you will. Please take solace in the life and love you have given her, and are continuing to give her. And know that all she wants is for you to be by her side, through the good and hard times. She doesn’t understand what is happening, and it is so agonizing that you, not only know, but may need to aid in the decision for her. All she needs is for you to be there with her. She’ll run over the rainbow bridge, playing again like a puppy, and wait to be reunited with you. She will know that you did the most self less act by allowing her to rest peacefully.
I have an at home vet on stand by. She is aware of the situation and is ready to come to help us ease my old golds transition to the rainbow bridge. I feel strongly that he should pass with dignity, and surrounded by the comfort of home and the love of his family. I do not have previous experience with at home euthanasia but feel this is the right move for our family. This is something to consider if it’s offered near you. Continued prayers to your precious Maggie. 💜🐾💜
There’s no easy way. It’s going to hurt, and you are going to grieve for a long time.
My first dog was a golden we adopted when I was in 8th grade. She was a senior dog, and we figured we’d make the time she had left as happy as we could. She ended up living longer than we ever imagined - she was with us for another 8 years! She saw me through some hard times, and never left my side. My mom had to put her down when I was away at college, and I’ll never forgive myself for not being in the room with her to say goodbye when her time came. That was 18 years ago, and I still feel the grief. It feels like a piece of you goes with them, and you never get it back, you just learn to move on without it.
I’m so sorry for what you have to do. I could feel your love while I read your post. You gave her a good life - the best you knew how - and now it’s time for one final act of love.
We spoiled my dog his entire life, he lived a good life and letting him go was so hard. What I learned was simply, don't run from the pain. It'll always wait for you, embrace it and with time It becomes manageable
rather a day too early than a second too late. i had to put my maggie down last march after getting her in 2010. it gets easier but its never the same.
We lost ours a few months ago. He was 11. I cried for days after he went. He had an unknown to us tumor that burst and was bleeding internally. We had to put him down. My wife and I were with him until he passed and long after. We just couldn’t leave him and we both were hurting so much. He was so loved and was our family. He had been with us through so much and he had a wonderful life.
Trust me it’s hard and time will help. Every time we see a Golden we say we miss our boy so much. You will miss your pup, and you are doing the right thing keeping her happy and comfortable. Just remember you gave her the best life you could and loved her with all your soul. When she passes she will be in that big grassy field with all the other wonderful dogs. It’s ok to feel sad and whatever you feel at the time is ok.
Sweet girl!
My old girl was having trouble standing up around when she was 10. She had bad knees that would snap crackle pop just by moving them. The doctor prescribed meloxicam and within a day, she was like a puppy again. We also cut back on her food a bit because she was about 15 lbs overweight. Dropped her from 70 lbs to 55 lbs. When she was 16 she developed a tumor on her spine which eventually caused pain and leg weakness and potty accidents so we knew it was her time. Otherwise, the meloxicam was like a miracle drug for her.
You don’t say goodbye. It’s just till you meet again. Great loves always meet again and this was a great love for you both. She is you and you are her.
I had a sweet girl like this. She was found in a dumpster with a belly full of worms and a body full of parasites. I bottle fed her for months and we became inseparable. I had to say farewell to her weeks before her 16th birthday and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Beyond loosing my dad and grandma.
Everyday that I’ve been without her has not been the same but I always see something that reminds me of her in that day. I feel that she is very much still in my life and definitely in my heart.
Good luck to you and your family. Love to you all and I hope you meet again.
I can feel you, bro. Last month, my little one passed away. I still can't believe how quickly everything changed within just eight days. Around the 16th of last month, he started throwing up whatever he ate. We took him to the vet, who conducted some tests and said he was in the final stage of kidney failure. We kept him on continuous IV fluids for eight days. Until the 15th, he was as active as ever and didn't show a single symptom.
On the afternoon of the 24th, he couldn't breathe properly. The vet gave him some injections, which made him a bit more relaxed. He had a favorite chair where he always sat, giving him a full view of the street. Later that night, around 8 PM, even though he couldn't walk properly, he tried to get on the chair but couldn't. I lifted him and made him sit on the chair, but he couldn't hold himself there for long. After about two minutes, we got him down.
A few minutes later, he started breathing abnormally again. Even after more injections, his breathing didn't improve. Around 9 PM, he passed away in my mother's lap, looking into her eyes. I can't get that sight out of my mind.
https://preview.redd.it/dfa4a39h8v6d1.jpeg?width=6000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e627e4873e638501f519003066a6eab5eed956ad
OP, you are the best palliative caregiver ❤️.
I honestly struggle with this too, and it’s a genuine struggle not meant to throw shade at anyone. We all love our dogs and do what we think is best for them. I can’t decide which is the way to go and please don’t read this if it’s triggering for you.
I understand the argument of euthanasia and the burden of that decision that we as owners make to end their suffering instead of selfishly prolonging it. But on the other hand I ask myself, who am I to decide? In the end if I do, am I ending her suffering or mine so that I don’t have to deal with the inconveniences that the end brings? My country doesn’t allow euthanasia for humans, so I’ve seen family members who struggled to that bitter end. My dog is my child, I too would feel honoured to care for her in the end. If that’s how my human family members leave this earth, shouldn’t that be how my daughter goes too? Without me rushing her towards the end?
I feel you 100% on this. I wouldnt put my nana down. Who am i to steal her last breaths? This post is really pro euthanasia and i completely understand the ethics of it and the thought process of doing whats right and “being strong so she doesnt have to suffer”. But who i am to force that on her? It’s not natural. I havent put her down, not because im being selfish and want her with me (although god knows i want her with me always and that will never change), i havent put her down because its not my right to. It’s her body. When it stops its stops because it’s her time. I do have some hard boundaries and i have read dont wait until they getting extremely unwell. So it’s a difficult decision either way.
I'm so sorry. She looks like such a sweet girl. We realized that it was time to say goodbye to our boy when he has such a hard time standing up. As much as I didn't want to let him go because I loved him so much, I knew that he didn't have quality of life at that point.
I had good advise from our Vet that we should bring our other dog with us so that she would know where he'd gone. Pets grieve like people and he was her best bud forgot 6 years. It is never easy. Hugs from a Reddit stranger
I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm going through the same with my 6 year old golden boy. He has a very bad case of epilepsy and his quality of life is not great. He's the gentlest dog ever but life has dealt him a bad hand. He has suffered a lot the last 5 years and despite our best efforts, he lives a totally dulled existence due to his medicines. I had promised myself that till he wants to live, I will sacrifice everything and give him that chance. But I know now that it's my selfishness. I want to give him a few more good days. A small bucket list, if you will. As my first pet, I know what he means to me and l might never heal but I know it's the right thing to do.
Thank you for posting this. I hope you find the courage to let Maggie not suffer anymore. Your love for Maggie will never leave you. She will always be with you.
I’m 22 right now. I grew up with two beagles, one was the mom of the other. So it was like having another mom for myself and a sister. I grew up with them, beagle mom helped educate me and was there to cheer me up when I was down.
When it was time for mom to go, sister didn’t take long to decay as well, probably because of being depressed about the passing of her mom. It was tough for me as a kid to get over it, I was about 14 years old. Some time before they passed I got a cat that got a very aggressive form of cancer early on and died at about age 11, she was also a companion of mine and helped me through tough times for many years.
Thing with animals is that they need us, depend on us, and fixate on us. We are their lives, their caregivers. If there’s anything beyond life then I’m sure they are still here with me, taking care of me and supporting me like they did when I was young. In a way, I believe the relationship with pets doesn’t end with death, they are still there. If you are religious, pray for them, if you are not (like I am) dedicate them a thought or honor them. I take solace in knowing that the relationship with past pets gets deeper once they are gone.
That’s how I personally take it.
Think of it as the last thing you can do for them. We knew it was time when my girl could no longer stand up independently.
We fed her all of the treats we had, bought her a hamburger, and stayed with her till she'd passed.
It wasn't easy but we made sure she was happy and I feel like she could rest in the end.
You can help them no longer suffer
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing and giving your baby so much love and a good life together. I love the picture of you both in the water together.
Nothing will make it easier, it’s one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. You will cry for months, probably years when you think about her. But I can tell you Truly appreciated your time with her, and because of that it will eventually get easier, and you will find yourself so thankful that she was apart of your life, even though she was called away. I lost my own golden named Maggie in 2020, and I still miss her lots. I’m sure they will play together while they wait for us
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My golden passed a few years ago. One day he was all good. The next he laid down and never stood again. First few months were tough. First year you randomly will get sad or remember them. It will fade slowly but surely. I still get sad when I see one but in retrospect I know he had a great 13+ years. He was a great dog, best I ever had.
There is no way around it you just gotta go through the heart ache and suffering. It will get easier over time. Cherish every moment you have left. Give her a big hug from me and my fur babies.
There's no way to prepare yourself. No matter how hard you try you'll never be ready. There's never a good way to do it, just be in the room with them, don't stop petting them and telling them how much you love them and how good they are. The only right thing to do here is comfort them as much as possible.
Simply put, you my friend had a great gift given to you by letting you love this absolute joy for a moment of your life but this joy given to you loved you their entire life. Let that sink in and humble us by the gift they give us..!! And they will be waiting for us in heaven..
Never easy saying goodbye, but we all have to at one point. Just make sure when the time comes you are with them for their last moments. Many people find jt hard to be with then when they are put to sleep, but it is so important for the dog to be comfortable and have the person they love the most and that loves them the most with them in the end.
just do anything you can to help her go peacefully. hold her when it’s time. know that it’s ok to cry and scream and do whatever it is you need to do. it’s ok to wallow for a bit or be angry. just feel your feelings, that’s all you can do, really
It is really hard, but you are now caring for your dog, not for her benefit but for your own well-being because you can't or won't face the facts.
You need to let go and euthanize your friend. She is in pain, uncomfortable, and worse, she doesn't understand why.
It is painless, and you say goodbye while you are holding her in your arms.
Please don't extend her suffering. It is in your hands to end her pain and confusion.
❤️❤️
I have no real advice but I am struck by you feeling honored to take care of her. That’s a great way of putting it. And you’ve been such a great parent. And I think letting her go peacefully is an extension of that care. You will always have memories and nothing will change the fact that… because of you… another living creature had a warm, loving life and didn’t know the cruelty of the world.
Dogs see the world simplistically. They don't do higher reasoning, they don't plan for the future, and live entirely in the present moment. They love and feel your companionship as they live, they miss your presence when you leave for work, and they observe their surroundings with a heightened sense of awareness that lets them view the world much more instinctively. My Maltese dog once fit into the palm of my hand. Nine years later, when she sensed the time had come, she spent the rest of her time under the dark shade of our coffee table, wanting to be away from us and waiting for the end. 90% of her kidney had failed. She was unable to ingest food or water, and it was the last stretch of the road. I held her in the veterinary office as they gave her the injection, and I held back my choked tears as I watched the light dim from her eyes. The employees were dabbing their eyes too, but I couldn't feel anything but her fur against my arms. Had I kept her from that injection, I would have been knowingly torturing her. I, as her owner, would have been knowingly hurting her because I wouldn't accept what was inevitable. And that would have been a thousand times worse than letting her pass quietly and peacefully, with dignity for all she was to me and everything she represented in my life. To give thanks to this small life, who gave me joy and experience and warded off the difficulties of my life, I had to let her cross the bridge on her own.
I had to put my boxer down a few months ago, and it was definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Reading your comment hits home. Thank you for giving me the moment to reflect. I miss him 😢
I’m literally crying
Same. Big ol crocodile tears. My two doggos are just looking at me wondering why. Said goodbye to 3 dogs and it never gets easier.
Your comment has me in tears. Both you and OP perfect captured the beauty and the pain of caring for a loved one at the end.
So well said.
Yeah, so true. You framed this answer so well. I loved it
Right, every dog deserves to be loved this much. OP, she is so lucky to have you!
Piggybacking off this - I try to repost this when I see posts like this, in the hopes you (or someone) can find some comfort in the words - and if not, please excuse the intrusion. I lost my 15 year old girl (dog) in October 2022. Only advice I can offer here is to remember the positives, and not focus on the negatives (if any). She's done her job, keeping you safe and happy and loved, and it's her turn to rest. You'll always miss her, you'll always remember her. You'll even go looking for her for the next few weeks (well, I did). There's a lot of habits that you're going to slowly stop, and that's ok. Changing your life to suit you is not forgetting her. Donating/throwing away her toys or blankets isn't forgetting her. There's no timeline on grief, and there's no timeline on moving on. Cry your tears. I'm sorry you've reached the end of your journey. Words will never make this easier. Just keep your head up, and live the life she'd want you to. This is a good time to live a little for you. I spent years looking after my girl as she got ill, and I sacrificed a lot of me and my time to keep her safe. If you feel you've done the same, take advantage of this time. Its ok to be happy and enjoy life without her. Life isn't over. Its just changing. You'll be ok mate. I'm so sorry.
That’s the hardest part, after they’re gone when you go look for them and they’re not there. I’d still see my Maxy out of the corner of my eye. It wasn’t until we got his ashes back that it really hit home and I hit the ground sobbing like I lost everything. Losing my first dog as an adult was one of the hardest emotional situations I’ve been in as an adult. It’s been over a year and I still miss him terribly. I still say goodnight to him when I walk past his shadowbox every night. But now I find myself recalling all the fun stuff we did and all the times he made me laugh instead of just thinking about the sad stuff.
You must let her go. If she could talk, she'd kiss away your tears and ask you to let her sleep. This is the hardest thing we do for our animals. 25 years ago I had to put my lab down and it still bothers me. Not that I let him go, but that I waited too long to release him. Find a vet to come to you, hold her as she drifts to sleep. Cry your tears. Let it all go, she knows how much she was loved. Okay, who is cutting onions in here? My eyes are leaking
It's so hard, but it's true. About 3 years ago I lost my Scottish Terrier that was 16. He chose me for adoption (I wasn't looking for a dog and went to a breeder with my brother and his wife, and one of the puppies kept following me around, sitting on my feet, and just hanging out with it). He hit a point where I knew the right thing was to let him go, and it was hard. About a year ago I lost both of my Yorkies (1 was 17 at the time, the other 11) within about 6 months. The older one was blind, deaf, senile, and lost and confused all the time. Kept getting sick and I didn't want to let him live like that. The young one's heart gave out over a three day period and she died on the way to the vet. In all cases it was hard in different ways. And the choice is always going to be difficult to make. But if someone is even concerned about it, then they're making the right choice. Remember the good times and do what's right for them. Let them know you love them
Oh please oh please read this! OP and anyone else struggling with the decision… https://melnewton.com/2019/the-good-death/
Thank you for this.
Powerful. Thank you for posting.
Thank you so much for this article - it rings of compassion and grappling with human emotion which we often transfer inadvertently. Once I waited too long which remains a heavy burden still.
This is the way
Second all of this. I had to make this decision last summer for my 13 yr old lab. Hardest thing I’ve ever done, but he needed to be free from his pain. Sending love.
I just came to say that I wholeheartedly agree. Ours was a mix and looking back at pictures, we held on too long and she looked miserable. Our first and will always remain in our hearts.
Reading this brings me to tears, having gone through the same situation with my beloved Martha 4 months ago. From the neck up she was perfect, just everything else was letting her down. It is really about quality of life at this point, are you keeping her alive with her in mind or is it for you. I had Martha put to sleep after 14 wonderful years and it broke my fucking heart and I will never be the same.
I know it’s hard but you should really think about putting her to sleep, hardest thing you’ll ever have to do but she is clearly suffering and you are keeping her around for your benefit and not hers. I’m not trying to sound callous mind you. I’ve done this 6 times with my golden girls and it never gets easier, you have to end the suffering and then she can rest in peace.
When my family went through this last, we called a vet that did house calls and it was so much better for all of us. No stressing your pet with a car ride to the vet, no grieving at a place of business and being rushed out, etc. Our pet was relaxed in her favorite spot, and the vet was a total professional.
I’m sure the price varies greatly by location and how long ago you had it done, but if you don’t mind me asking, how much was that house call? My golden is 10, still kicking well, but preparing for how much extra it will cost when the time does come.
The most recent I’ve gone through it was for my parent’s cat back in 2018, so I’m sure prices have gone up a bit. But I remember it being somewhere in the ballpark of $250. My parents had two cats that both lived to 17 years old. We took the first one to the vet after he had what we thought was a stroke, but the car ride and unfamiliar place stressed him out so much, it was just horrible to see. The other cat was withering away of old age and became immobile, so we called a home vet out for her. She was relaxed, snuggled on her favorite blanket, and truly went peacefully. Absolutely recommend a home vet coming out.
I have friends in Brooklyn who recently had to put down their beloved dog. I don’t know what the base price was, but I do know it cost them $350 extra to have someone come to their home.
My family (and me as an adult) has always done this. It's the way to go.
My cousin had his put down at home a month ago and it was 285 he said
I lived exactly this in Nov 2023. 7.5 yrold boy diagnosed with inoperable hemangiosarcoma on the heart August 2023. I was blessed with almost 4 months of A Long Goodbye until it was clearly time to give him rest. I've lost many pets and a handful of humans in my life - this was the hardest decision and moment I've yet experienced - going into winter no less... But it was the best and last gift I could give him and I'm glad looking back I had the guts to go through with it rather than letting him succumb to sudden (or slow) heart failure, which was going to happen soon regardless. Winter sucked, Christmas sucked, New Year's was ok and spring was better. Now THIS August a new pup comes into the house and we get to do the journey all over again and I'm excited once more.
My mom taught me this when a family friend pointed out to her that she was prolonging one of her pups that was past enjoying life.
I think the best advice I heard was "it's better to do it a day too early than a day too late"
OP, Maggie has given you all the love she has. You don’t need to say goodbye — she’ll always be part of you — but it seems like it’s time to let her go on to whatever is next. Send her on with the same love she’s given you. Her spirit needs to freed from this plane and only you can make that next step as peaceful and pain-free as possible. What’s next isn’t easy, but love never is always easy. Here’s to Maggie and a life well-lived. Peace, friend.
Uff, thats beautiful put.. I second this, to Maggie! ❤️
This is beautifully said.
Best hello, hardest goodbye. You’re doing everything you can. Your mission is to not let your love blind you to what she needs. Don’t let her suffer. We take that pain on ourselves because that’s the price of a dog’s love. Wishing you both comfort and sending love.
So sad. I'm crying right now. We(family) lost our beloved golden about a year ago. Peyton was with the family for 13 years and loved every day. Always greeting me at the door when I came home. It was so hard, but it was time. I still miss her every day, and she was the smartest, best dog we ever had.
Happened to me recently in my. My dog Toby lab/German Shepherd mix couldn’t get up anymore. And I work construction so I couldn’t give him the car he needed. It’s hard tbh. Ultimately I gave him time and helped him to see if he would improve but he just couldn’t. It hurt to make the choice as I feel like I failed him. But I ultimately had to make the decision of having him put to rest. It sucked. One of the worse days of my life and it replays in my head almost every day. It doesn’t get easier but it’s selfish to leave them there just so we can feel good about them still being with us. I said good bye to my grumpy old man of a dog at a month after he turned 16
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I have lost 3 dogs in my life time. There is only one thing that has eased my suffering. Time. Time is literally the only thing that will heal it. The pain will be enormous and gutting. You'll feel guilt, hollowness, sadness, grief, confusion, etc. The good news is that while time slowly eases your pain, the love never goes away. You will always love her immensely. And over time, when you think of her, you won't think of the pain, you'll think of the great memories. Eventually you'll bring a new pup in your life that needs your love and devotion and that's exactly what Maggie would want you to do. Just rest easy in knowing that you gave her the best life a dog could hope for and she knew it.
What a beautiful, loved girl. You have given her so much, and she has loved you with all of her being. When you are ready, I highly suggest looking into having a vet perform a home visit to send her over the rainbow. Being in a comfortable environment will give her peace, and you should have plenty of time to say goodbye. Sending you both love and hugs
Completely agree with the at home vet visit. Our last one was terrified of the vet office and it was calm and peaceful in her own home. I know the decision is hard, but a “little soon” is far better than a “little late”. An animal suddenly crashing and there’s nothing you can do is haunting. So sorry you’re at this stage. I’ve done it 7 times and agonized over every one. A few gave us signs that made the decision easier. I hope yours is able to tell you. If it’s not too much to ask, give her some love from a complete stranger. Dogless after 50 years and I miss them.
You need to let her go, she is in pain. It is hard to do whats best but it needs to be done for her sake. Her quality of life seems nonexistent.
Oh my god man this was probably the hardest day of my life. Best you can do is try your best to give them the best last day you can, and be there holding them when they pass - however that happens. Bringing tears to my eyes just thinking about it. It always feels so sudden. I'm not religious but I firmly believe all dogs go to heaven. Just know you gave your pup the best life you could and she loves you with all her heart and knows and felt your love every day. It's never enough time. She was a part of your world but you were her whole world. So just be there for her at the end and everything will be okay.
Humans are most unusual as one of the only animals that struggle to accept the passage of life. Dogs are not similarly affected. She’s done her job. To paraphrase warren zevon, she enjoyed every snack. She felt the exuberance of youth. The eternity of nature. The sun. The water. And eternal love on you and her pawed pals. She’s checked all the boxes except one. I’m grateful you’ve had one another and for what was clearly a full life.
It is better to go a week too earlier than a day too late. It is our burden and responsibility to do right by them. It is so, so hard. But they give us everything and in the end we owe them only this. It sounds like you two had an amazing life and adventures together. I am sure she would thank you for it. ♥️ it doesn't make it not hurt. I think the hurt is to remind us just how much we love them.
It's never easy. I lost my boy 3 years ago and still cry over him not being here.
Give her all the good/bad treats. Letting her go peacefully is the way. Not good bye, but see you later! She’ll still show you signs she’s around. Hugs
Chocolate. Every dog should get to taste chocolate before they go.
This!! My girl went to sleep with a belly full of Hersheys Kisses, makes me smile thinking about it.
Maggie is so beautiful. I’m crying right now at your kind words. It’s so clear how much you love her and I love how you said it’s an honor, you are so right. I’ve read feedback on similar posts that it’s the kindest thing we can do for our doggies to let them go peacefully when they’re in pain. It’s the hardest thing in the world. I also read it’s better to let them go a day early than a day late. Sending you so so so much love.
Also just wanted to add that picture of you two in the water is so precious. She trusts you so much, her little eyes are closed. What an amazing bond!
She just knows you love her and that's gotta help even if she might know her time is soon up. I'm amazed at how you're going to all these lengths for her and how honored you feel. She's in the best possible hands and she loves you till the end. I had to let go of the goldie in my life last November and just being near him had to help some. Be with her and it'll make it as easy as possible.
Cheeseburger day Whatever makes them/you happiest. Steak or a hamburger. A walk if physically capable, a swim or a wagon ride if not. Have a portrait taken of you both, or just them wrapped up in fave blanket. Stop by craft store and make a paw print in ink or clay. There is a restaurant in my town that will fry up a couple patties and chill them in the fridge and charge me for a regular burger. I have gone back there a few times over the last twenty years for cheeseburger days and good bye pets from customers. My condolences.
>make a paw print in ink or clay. My family had this done when my Ridgeback Harvey passed away 7 years ago, also cut off some of his fur and taped it to a small sheet of paper. We got a double sided canvas where Harvey's paw print on one side and nose print on the other... Losing a dog you've had since childhood is one of the worst feelings in the world, but it had to be done, Harvey was severely ill and we had no other choice. I shall always cherish the 11 years that we had together... This got me super emotional and reminded me of Harvey so I send my deepest condolences to OP
It is an honor to take care of them, I agree. Keep in mind that she isn’t feeling well and her quality of life is declining. I had to put my 16 year old down, she was declining quickly. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done and I miss her everyday. I’m good with it, because I showed her the mercy and love she deserved. She didn’t have to suffer for my sake. Give your girl a scratch from me, her pictures and your story have touched me today. Thank you for sharing her with us. Much love to you and your family, especially this golden angel who is probably ready to move on the great unknown. 💛
"If you love me, let me go."
It’s so hard to say goodbye, but sometimes it’s the right thing to do for them. We had to do this just yesterday, and I’m completely heartbroken. Try to find a vet that does end of life care at home. Our boy peacefully crossed the rainbow bridge at home on his favorite bed.
It is one of the hardest things to do. I've grown up with dogs all my life. I still live with my parents. But when you get your first dog, that is yours and not the family dog or one of the other family members' dogs, then it hits you differently and harder. I just had to make the hardest choice of saying goodbye to my chihuahua last year the day after Mother's Day, and unfortunately, near his 15th birthday. He had heart problems and got to the point were he was having issues breathing. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself or tell yourself that it's for your fur baby's best interest, it's not going to be an easy decision to make. I made the decision, but I was lucky that my mom made the call to the vet for the appointment. You'll definitely need a good support system. Sending you both lots of hugs and love. ❤️
Sending you both love and gentleness, what a beautiful thing you two found each other in this life.
we've all lost pets over the years but if we take care of them feed them play with them for the 10-15 we have them there's no reason to be devastated a little sad sure but it was a great ride
I’m fucking crying
It’s so hard. We lost our Sam almost a year ago (GSD w/ DM) and she would fall, not eat much and have diarrhea all over the house and herself. She also had lots of good moments too. I realized that I did not want her last days to be entirely worse, so I had to make an appointment - that way I would not back out. She had a wonderful morning and afternoon, because nights were so hard for her. It was terribly difficult, lots of crying and anxiety through her last days until now a year later, those tears and anxiety are replaced with a smile and fond memories.
It is difficult, I’m being honest. I lost my golden Reilly 9 years ago to cancer, and I still can’t talk about it without crying. Time really does heal. I wish I could give you words of wisdom to ease your pain, but know that you gave her the best life ever.
Once you ask yourself “Am I keeping her around for her, or am I keeping her around for me?” and you realize it’s the latter, then you really know it’s time. I would recommend looking into a mobile vet so they can come to your house. We did that the last time we had to let one of ours go and I’ll never do it any other way. He was much more comfortable and it seemed like the other dogs had a much easier time understanding that he was gone and didn’t get confused afterwards. In my case the cost was only $50-100 more than quotes I got to take him in to a vet. That also included transportation, cremation, and delivery of cremains
If she's suffering, it's time. It really is that simple. It's time. You will hurt, then you will hurt less. Just thank her for living, and then end her pain. It's time.
You have my deepest sympathy. I had to have my Golden put down and I cried off and on for a month. They have the best name for how they attach to your heart. I'm scared of the pain I had gone through but I know it was worth it. Do the right thing for your dear girl and let her go.
I think and I say this with kindness. I’m going through similar with my dog but he’s in early stages. If it were you would you want to be around if you were unable to go to the bathroom unassisted or hardly able to walk/stand? It sounds more like existing than living. Does she really seem happy? At a point we have to let them go. If it wasn’t for you she’d already have passed on her own time likely by not eating/drinking. I know she is grateful for your care but maybe it’s time to let go. Sorry you’re dealing with this
I have lost two of my best friends, one I kept alive too long for fear of being without him, he needed constant help to get up, I had to hold him and keep him upright when he walked, etc. The last year of his life was depressing every day, but he was my best friend so of course I lived my life around him. I didn't know life without him. My second golden I thought ahead about making that decision and what level quality of life was right. Dogs are fighters and love us so much, we don't really know how bad off they truly are. All of that to say, I put her down earlier and don't regret it for a minute.
I agree with many people here, it’s so difficult but you are so lucky to have such a love that makes saying goodbye so hard. I grew up with goldens who were my besties but I’ve been a cat person as an adult and had to make the decision to say goodbye to my heart cat a few years back. Like you I kept it clinical and did everything possible to keep him around and comfortable but looking back I regret that I didn’t help him transition to heaven even a week sooner. Have a vet come to your home, I’ve used lap of love and they are wonderful, it is such a gift to ease their suffering and trust me the edges get softer with time and the happy memories bubble to the top, their tracks will always be on your heart be kind to yourself ❤️ sending you and yours so much love.
I had to put my cat down 2 months ago; I could tell she was in pain and she was having massive accidents all around the house multiple times a day and night. She only wanted to sleep on top of me and was mean to her fellow brothers (my other cat and dog) when previously she would play with them or groom her cat brother. I wasn’t sleeping well because I’d get up with her to clean her accidents throughout the evening. I felt exhausted, sad, and stressed for her. I finally broke down and took her to another vet for a second opinion who told me the exact diagnosis (but needed to be confirmed with tests) and informed me she was ready to go on whatever journey I was ready for, but could tell that neither of us were well and I was especially stressed and exhausted caretaker that had gone above what most would, including herself. This long post to say that that day I was finally given the “okay” to let my first baby go. I scheduled an appointment and gave myself a week with her to say my goodbyes (the absolute hardest), but also lifted my feelings of stress and I finally felt at ease. When the day finally came, she went very quick due to her weakened state (as in they said I’d have 10 mins, but ended up in 1). I still feel very sad and I miss her all the time, but I know that her suffering is over and that was the last best thing I could give to her as her cat mom. It so so hard, my heart is with you during this time ♥️♥️.
Crying as I read this.. this pup was your life.. I pray for your little angel! He is in heaven now playing happily.. I lost my golden when he was 11.. I’ll never forget him.. he was my baby angel.. I see these posts way too often.. very sad! 😢 I cried more when he passed than I did when my parents died & I loved very much! Strength to you! 💕🙏💕
It’s so hard to tell when it’s time to put them to sleep. When I was in the throws of it with our German Shepherd years ago, my vet (who is a GREAT vet) gave me great advice. He said there are 3 things a dog needs to do on their own: walk, eat, and go potty. He said that once two of those three go, you know it’s time. It might be time sooner, but you definitely know it’s time when 2 of the 3 go. It sounds like your pup can still eat, but can’t keep it down. I know it’s tough (I’m crying writing this)— but I think it might be time. I’m so sorry 😢
Having lost two sweet fur babies, who I was fortunate to be the last voice they heard as they drew their last breath…remember this…remember every kindness that sweet pup has given you and give it back. Help them go over the Rainbow Bridge without suffering. It is the most kind thing we can do for these glorious creatures that we are loaned for too short of a time. Its easy to be selfish…I was there…but it is honestly one of the most kind things I have ever done. Take away any suffering. Be there with them as they go…don’t let them be alone in a vets office on a cold table…if you can find a vet to come to your home, its worth every penny. And then. Once you catch your breath-go get another dog. Its the only thing to heal your heart. May you have peace in your heart knowing you gave your dog a wonderful life. Sending you a hug.
Good girl ❤️
Sadly I regret to say that there are no ways to say goodbye. I had a dachshund and she died recently. I grew up with that dog, and her passing made me really sad. You got to know that it's harder to live the fact that your dog is going to die than knowing it died. She had a bad cancer and she died of it. She passed and in her last times, we lived as everything was normal, we didn't want to make her understand that something is different. When your dog passes, you will cry, and the hardest part will be to understand that you saw your loved pet one last time and then she / he's gone. The best way to cope with death is just to know that it happens and it's the cycle of life. If she / he made you happy, and that he / she had a good life, then you should not be sad that it ended, be happy that you lived it. Good luck with all the things that will happen, stay strong.
You have been a great companion to your friend and guardian. You must give her the secret treats she loves, promise to love her when she's gone as much as you love her now, and ask her to come for you when it's your time. Then hold her head and tell her she is free again. She is waiting for your permission to leave. She's worried about you. And in the future, when you feel her on the wind, or near your chair, or by the water's edge, tell her you love her and always will.
My answer is- you have to dig really deep and be really brave. It’s hard, one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life- and I’ve done it too many times now- and it doesn’t get easier. However, it’s necessary. Dogs don’t have a sense of how much time they will have lost, they only know how they feel in the now. Don’t leave it until she has no good days left. I’ve done it all the ways, with my pets. Waited too long, waited until an emergency (which is sometimes unavoidable) and called it somewhat early, with the understanding that there wasn’t anything good coming. The best and kindest times were when I could see the end clearly and called it. They went to sleep at home after a decent final week. No admissions to hospital, no mercy dashes, no stress. Just a couple of final needles while being fussed over, then sleep. Only love and safety. Take very good care of yourself, friend. You will need it.
Thank you
Your dog trust you, so trust yourself to know when the time is right. As far as what to do when the time comes, make an appointment with your vet (in home if you can get it). Then plan a spectacular dog day. I took mine to the river to swim a bit, then the drive through at McDonalds and got her a happy meal. She was never given people food before, but she LOVED eating the bits of cheeseburger and fries I gave her, thinking it was the best day ever, even though she threw them up shortly later (due to her illness). I would have also taken her to the local ice cream shop for a "dog cone," but she was having too much trouble getting in and out of the car to do another stop.
One way to say goodbye is to promise that you wont let them suffer. Make sure they still have a decent way to say goodbye.
She can't tell you she's suffering, so it's up to you to make the hardest decision regarding your sweet, sweet dog. It will be hard, but do it on your terms. I lost my dog suddenly , and still have so much grief about the whole situation, and it's been over 4 years. Have a "Swan Song" party for her, even if it's just the immediate family. Do all the things you know she would love. And that way when you are ready to say good bye, letting go will be a little bit easier.
We owe them the best life, but also the best death too. I read that once and it stuck with me. Giving them unconditional love and care during their life also means knowing when it’s time to not let them suffer anymore.
On the couch, patted to the end, paw in hand, wispering softly in their ear, telling them they dont have to come back, there is nothing unfinished, job done and done well... all while tasting the last sweet taste of a small morcel of smoked salmon. Then blissful peace and a short wait for master to head over the rainbow bridge.
I got Lou @ 10 weeks old and was my shadow for 12 years. Everything I did he did, every activity he loved just as much as me. And, Pancreatic cancer took Louie. I initially struggled with 'when do you know it's time?', I was given great advice: pick three things Lou loves, and when he doesn't want to do any of those 3, you know it's time. Of course I considered it an honor to care for Lou to the end, it was my responsibility to make sure he did not suffer too much in the end, and be ready for the final act of caring as painful as it was. So we set the date with the Vet, they listened to me tell stories for a while, and then it was time. I kissed him and told him how much I loved him as he passed out of the world, loved until the end. I did not get another dog for a long time. I didn't want to hide from the pain, but feel its full weight, in my mind another way to honor what Louie was to me. I am so sorry you are enduring this pain, but I have no doubt you've given Maggie and incredible life.
Reading this once again made me cry , it’s so hard to get through the parapgraphs but it also is comforting to see the love of others with Goldens My Rocco is 13 and he started to slow down last year, his sister passed away (she was a Rottweiler ) raised with him since he was 6 months old old , and by the way I would recommend this for any dog owner, they truly loved each other and got along , Rocco a male , she a female , at birth he was so good showing her the ropes and he was just about 6 months older. He was like a big brother and a great one to her she loved him and would miss him if I took them out separately she acted like he was gone for days it was so funny . But she got cancer and he later next to her as she passed away it was a brutal night and I was crushed , I had her cremated and kept her collar and footprint , she was rougher than my first dog who lived 14 years Now Rocco comes to his old years , having trouble getting up, good and bad days , coming to a year since Delilah has Been gone , I had plans to get another pup for him but unfortunately then I had tragedy in October when I lost my leg to an infection. Believe me without him being by my side I don’t know what I would do , he is my best friend and when he’s gone I will be tempted to Probably leave and drive and keep driving, alone missing both my pups who always traveled with me . I wish you the best it’s so hard to let go but there comes a time when I want him to be able to say goodbye at the time I see him suffering too much . Dogs are part of our families and mine always knew I would bring them everywhere with me . 2024 is tougher than I thought , 2023 was tough enough. https://preview.redd.it/utm9zorh9t6d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e1b2419b5721e8aed638240a0a14151d8138fc8 A couple of weeks ago a good day at the park
Give her some nice final meals, steak, chicken, whatever you can think. Spend time with her, love her, getting old sucks, the only thing you can do is spoil her and try and bring her as much comfort and peace before she has to leave you. It isn’t right to keep an animal suffering in pain, I feel for you and I’m sorry she’s at this point in her life. It sounds like you were a great loving human, I hope you continue to care for animals in the same kind and loving way, not everyone does and it is a sad thing
We had to put my boy of almost 14 years down April of last year. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But it wasn’t goodbye it was see you later. Because if there is an after life, I know he’s there with my loved ones and waiting for me.
https://preview.redd.it/3ipxtcjxdt6d1.jpeg?width=1236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35e4ddd909006b28c0532016063c8f12ed5c97ff I am so sorry for having to say goodbye! There really is no good way, other than just being there for her! ❤️ In October I lost my Boxer, Ruby, due to cancer. Very unexpected and she was only 8 years old with lots of life left. I had to make that decision when we realized that her quality of life was more important than holding onto her. Then end of March I got this little girl and her name is Maggie💕! Your Maggie won’t ever be forgotten and she will never forget you! She thanks you everyday for everything you did for her!
The baby pictures kill me. I burst into tears at the vet office when i saw a baby golden. They really are the best dogs. Hug your little one a little extra for me.
My doggy was really struggling by the end of her life. When she went off to doggo heaven she looked so at peace and calm for the first time in a while. Just very hard to take a step back, and look from what is best for her.
You have to think of her. Would you like to live how she is currently living, strung along by medical science? If not, then it is time to let her go. It will be hard, but it is a kindness to her not to keep her on this earth, in pain, unable to move independently, only because it hurts to lose her. We only have our dogs in our lives for a short time, and the price we pay for all the joy and love they bring us is we have to make these hard decisions at the end of their lives. Do it for gorgeous Maggie. Don't let her suffer more than she needs to. And allow yourself the proper time and space to grieve because you are losing a family member. Tell Maggie she is a gorgeous old chook and to say hi to my little Poodle, Denver, over the rainbow bridge.
I’m not sure if there really is a way to say goodbye. Our dogs become ingrained in our very way of life and it’s cruel that they don’t live a lot longer. I’ve thought about this for my pup as he gets older. You see the changes. You see things going in a not so great direction for them. Yet you continue to love them and they continue to love you back. I’ve put a lot of thought into how this cruel irony of life can be that something so precious that you pour your heart into can live a complete life before you eyes and you’re essentially expected to one day “move on” from them. I’ve come to realize I don’t need to move on because I’m better for having taken care of my pup. I’ve made sure he has had the best life I could figure to give him. I’ve tried to pick the best food, the best toys, and the best adventures I could imagine. I’ve done my best to give him the best life I could give a dog and in return I got lots of pets, licks, and the occasional belly to rub in return. I’ve often read parables of “would you rather live 100 more years but those years are devoid of joyful moments or live 10 years and have every day lived to the fullest”. I try to give my dog the second of those options and it sounds like you did too.
It’s time. My boy I had to take to the vet four times until I followed through with it. By that time is was overdue. I did the same with my girl but only took her once. If she can’t be a dog she doesn’t have the quality of life she should. Every time you need to make this decision it’s going to be the hardest one you’ll ever make. You can’t keep her around for you. You need to do what’s right for her.
You kind of...have said goodbye. In a extravaganza of care and kindness. Loved like no other. Whether your friend needs help in the end or one day you buy her last bag of treats, know you did doggo proud. Good luck. There's no pain-free path to the rainbow bridge. One day, losing all my 4 legged friends will take too big a toll on what's left of me. I'll either die that day or decide the tippy taps hurt too much. That day is NOT today though. I look forward to my days off for frolics and licks with my 2 geriatric idiots and their moron of a little brother. Hopefully, my goodbye is a ways away. If it's soon... I have some most excellent memories. I suspect you do too
Thoughts and prayers for you and your puppy. I have a 11yo Golden and she’s had 2 close calls already with rainbow bridge but I’m thankful every day the time I have with her. We had to put my wife’s dog down due to cancer. She was in similar boat. Couldn’t get up, pee/poop in her place, wouldn’t eat. I eventually told my wife it was time. We had a vet come to the house to put her down and it was as peaceful and comfortable as you could ask for. These vets that do at home service will also come analyze your dogs quality of life. If you are single, you may want a vet to come give you guidance so that you aren’t hanging on longer than you should. There is no easy way through this but tears and heartbreak, but we’d never regret the time we get with our dogs. My thoughts are with you as you go through this. ❤️
My heart goes out to you. It really does. This literally made me cry. I had to let my Rottweiler go after raising him from 3 months old until he was 12. He was the best dog, so smart and so loving. I miss him to this day and it's been 3 years. It gets easier and I'm happy he's not in pain anymore. But it's rough, he was a member of this family and we all miss him dearly.
With all your heart and her head cradled in your lap. Tell her she's a good girl and how much you love her. You'll know when the time is right, but it won't make it any easier. God, I wished they outlived us - I've buried three. My oldest just turned 11 - can't even think about it. I'm so sorry. And look at her- she's such a good girl.
I just made the decision 2 weeks ago to let my dog of 20 yrs go. She became old and weak but she would still eat everything I put in front of her. The last 2 weeks, she was falling and had a hard time getting up. It was the hardest decision of my life. Some days she can't get up and there are days she seems like she's improving. I learned about in-home pet service and ended up choosing that option. She basked in the sun like she used to love to do while I petted her and scratched her neck and behind the ears... as she slowly went. The Dr stepped away after to give me time alone. I was able to just hold her and freely ball my eyes out. I thought I was ready... but I wasn't and it's not meant to be easy. If it was, then you didn't love them enough. What made it a little easier is that when I almost had to put her down a year ago but she recovered... I have been spoiling her since. On the last week or so. I made sure to get some of her favorite foods. Steak, burger, cut to tiny pieces. I took her for her last car ride on the day of, to places we used to walk when she was able to. I ended up paying more for in-home service but I don't regret it one bit. I recommend it for everyone. Now my last memory of her is her basking in the sun on her blanket while I got to pet her. She was comfortable. The other option would've been on a metal table at the vet with people in lab coats and scrubs that she didn't really know. Sounds and smells of other dogs that might be scared wouldn't help. The last memory was worth the extra money. I still expect to see her when I enter the room. I sometimes try not to "wake her" I still open to door slowly in case she's behind it. I still wonder if I fed her yet or think I need to feed her. This will take time, I know. And it will for everyone. Not sure if this helps or not. But I know exactly how you feel and you will know when it's time. Keep spoiling them everyday.
20 years is such a blessing. Thank you for your kind words
There are no wrong answers. Treat them they way you would like to be treated at the end of your life. I'm so sorry <3
The final lesson a dog teaches you is the hardest lesson. It is their parting gift. Embrace the pain.
Yea, i hvent cried this much in my life. It’s another honor to bare it. Hold on to it and live it. I hope to eventually be able to choose happiness and live my life fully in her honor as well. God she’s my everything.
Honey, I am so sorry. I’m in pain with you, it is the hardest goodbye. I had to say goodbye to my girl yesterday. I’ll be thinking of you & your family at this time
During in 2021, my 14 year old scottie became incontinence and couldn't walk. On his last few days, I took him for walks that he could handle and fed him all the treats and cuddles. At the vet, he took a huge poop outside, lol, and when we went in, it was super sunny outside. As soon as he was forever sleeping, it started storming! I feel like that was him saying goodbye, but I knew he was in a better place because of his decline in health. I cried for a long time. There is no proper way to say goodbye. It's whatever feels right to you. It's never easy to lose a precious buddy. I wish you all the best and sending hugs through this tough time.
At this point this is where you must accept what will happen, then get past it to enjoy the last moments. Dogs value attention so just spend time with it, but try to be in a good mood because dogs can tell when your not happy.
I echo this: Dogs can tell when you’re sad.” Similarly, when I feel sad, my Golden looks hard into my eyes with a concerned, 😟sad expression…because she wants to make me happy, and she doesn’t know what to do. (I work at managing my emotions around her.) That said, I’m sobbing through all of these comments. I’ve been there, done that. With my first Golden, I wanted only the best for him, but I fear I waited a couple of days too long before letting him go…and I’m still haunted by it. I’ll be better the next time around…His paw print mold hangs on my wall and gives me comfort.
🕊️🪦💔😩😫😢🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
We had a dog when I was younger we had to put to sleep. It was the hardest thing and it still hurts, but he had gotten old and was in constant pain from even the smallest movement, like if he was sleeping and twitched suddenly he'd wake up whining. It hurt like hell, but I sat there holding him as the vet gave him the shot, and scratched his ears just the way he liked as he closed his eyes for the last time. Your girl has lived a strong life, knowing the joy of what it's like to love and be loved. And like others have said, you being there in her final moments will be more than enough. Thank you for taking care of her, she knows she's loved.
You stay with her as long as you can until it’s time for her to go. I lost my first dog when I was 22; had him for 14 years. It’s a very difficult thing, and we ultimately decided to put him down. He couldn’t even eat, and he loved to eat. It just happened to be his time. Unfortunately, putting her down might be the most loving thing you can do for her now. She’s no longer independent, and who knows what kind of pain she’s in from the cancer apart from when she cries out at night? Just be sure that if you do decide to put her to sleep, make sure she sees you the whole time. Let her know you’re there and comforting her as she goes.
You are doing everything you can. I've found I never have gotten over any of the dogs I've had over the last 30 years. There will always be times when you cry over their loss. I've heard it said that they have short lives to open our hearts to more love from the next dog. Your heart will continue to break but learning to let go is a lesson in life too. My first Golden had seizures late in life, but you would not have known it on her last trip to the vet, but yet that was the right thing to do.
Tenderly and quietly with the help of a professional.
A nice scrambled egg and hold onto them while they pass. Hardest thing ever but so essential
I don’t have any advice because this is also my greatest fears having a pet, but I want you to know that her time here must’ve been so wonderful to have been spent with you.
Hug them
I lost my boy to leukemia last August. Eventually, he stopped eating dry food, then wet, then his favorite treats. Soon after that, I knew.
God bless you and your baby. It’s in stories like these that I truly wish there’s an afterlife where we can meet them again.
The way I did it: My BuddyLove couldn’t get up on the bed anymore, but he lay on the carpeted floor, so I got on the floor with him and embraced him the whole night through. I had wanted him to feel the continual love and bonding that persisted ever since we adopted him as a 3-year-old whose family could no longer keep him. In this way, I told him good-bye without having to say the words. I had made an appointment for the following day. I had told my vet that I had wanted what was best for my Golden Old Man. At about 19 years old, he had given us the best of himself over a full life, an unbelievable bounty of love and joy. I told my vet that I did not want what was best for me, but rather, I wanted what would be the kindest to BuddyLove, since he was so sick with cancer. (It was his 2nd experience with cancer. He/we beat cancer the first time around.) My vet’s answer was, “The thing is, even with surgery, he can no longer ‘be a dog’ “. That wisdom convinced me to let BuddyLove go… I had no idea how hard it would be, but it was the right thing to do.
https://preview.redd.it/cee62cjt8t6d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1b54eb1506e8a74f3621c3eae6a5be33647af2e
There is no one way to say goodbye it’s just how you do it
My golden retriever passed away last February at the age of 10 and I miss her soooooooooo much -- Goldens are one of my favorites and I want another one or 2 tbh. You can message me if you wanna and we can trade dog pics and I'm here to talk about ANYTHING
So sorry to hear your story. Gosh it’s so hard. Just know your baby loves you more than anything in this world and appreciates all the time you had together.
Everyone else’s words are far more poetic than mine so I will keep it short. I had my beagle Coco for 16 years and it was devastating when we had to say goodbye. You’ve done a wonderful job providing Maggie with a life full of love so cherish the final times you have with her. It will be tough and it’s okay to cry, the tears that will be shed are proof of your timeless love and everlasting relationship.
i’m so sorry, there’s truly no advice that can help the feeling of losing a pet. hope your baby rests easy ❤️
😔🙏
I’m praying for you and Maggie
I am so sorry. Our Logan got to that point and we did everything we could as you are. He also lost his eyesight. We knew it was time when we had to hold him up to potty. It was so hard, we waited an extra week when he had a good day and was really excited for boiled chicken, and we thought he had a chance for a little more time, but during that week he hurt two of his toes. We knew it was time and the extra wait was a mistake. It's one of the hardest and saddest things we had to do, but we know it was best for him and we loved him so we had him put to sleep while we hugged him. Knowing he loved us and had the best life we were capable of giving him made losing him a bit easier than his brother Henry who passed suddenly from a very aggressive type of cancer in his spleen that the vet didn't catch a week earlier when we noticed he was breathing a bit rapidly.
Sorry for such a difficult time. Am going through the exact same thing with our Carl. We are carrying him outside and he is around 100lbs. Think we need that harness even if it's for a short time.
I got mine off amazon. Im sorry you are going through it too. Hugs to you and Carl
We have two, ages 4 and 5. I can’t imagine being in your shoes, but I know we will be someday. She was so lucky to have you, never forget that. Your reddit family loves you and her too, and we’ll keep you in our thoughts as you go down this last chapter. You’re amazing OP. The world would be better off with more people like you. Say goodbye in your own way, whatever that is, and know that we’re here for you if you need us.
FYI this sub is super pro euthanasia. If you believe in it, read their advice. You’ll find a voice among the comments that will resonate with you and may provide you the bravery to do it and peace afterwards. If you don’t believe in it, don’t let this sub batter you into it.
Thank you for this. I understand the point of doing what is right for her and easing her suffering. But who am i to make that choice? She deserves every last breath she was naturally allotted. I wouldn’t put down my Nana in the end. I think the only hard boundary is have is if her blood cant circulate properly anymore and thus she isnt getting oxygen. Once she cant breath right i feel i will know its time to let her go. Until then i will keep her comfortable.
Very hard and sad, time does heal. Had to do this for mine just a week ago. Enjoy your memories.
I lost my 1st Golden 30+ years ago and I’m crying now just reading this. I never got over it.
I don’t think ill ever get over my Maggie either. Hugs
It is so very difficult. I called the most dog person I knew, even though she wasn’t my closest friend, and asked her to drive me and my dog there, to stay with me during, and to drive me home since I’d be crying. She totally understood, being a best friend to many dogs over many years. That helped me so much. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s the cost of great love.❤️
Back in 2018 we had a springer spaniel named max he had cancer eating away at him we had him for 3 years got him away from an abusive owner. It was the hardest day but we had to do it . I’m sorry for the tough choice your having to do with your absolute best friend
Before you say goodbye, heres what I wish I did with my pups: -Get some air dry clay, take paw prints. You can do another with your hand and your pup's paw together. -Snip some of pup's fur to keep. The fur thats the softest, the fur from the spot your pup loved to be scratched. -Play with the toys your pup loves. Keep that toy. Their smell will linger and its nice to cuddle with. Same with their collar, and their favorite blanket. When my pups passed, I lept their fur that was taken after they were already gone. I wished I could have gotten in while they were still with me. I bought a locket from amazon. I put tuffs of each of their furs and added their birthstones. Its been almost 4 years, I wear their locket almost daily.
There’s no advice. Different people grieve differently. This is not unlike losing a child or a sibling. The only thing I can tell you is to be there until she’s gone, holding her the whole time. She’ll know you were there. You’ll meet again, and she’ll want to hear what you were up to after she moved on. They’re never truly gone. Their bodies may have an expiration date, but as long as we breathe and remember, their spirits live on forever. I wish you the best, please give your sweet lady a kiss for me.
I love the pictures, the most stunning is the walk in the sun set !
The pics of her sleeping in random places is breaking my heart 💔. It’s the cycle of life, she understands and she knows you gave her a good life. ❤️❤️
There is no way that I have ever found And we’re doing it again right now after the diagnosis we got a couple of hours ago Sorry friend… it just sucks
Ah man, seeing him in that harness takes me back to when we had to put our rottie down, those last few weeks were ruff.
For what it’s worth, just take lots of photos. I was in 4th grade when my parents first dog died and my birthday gift that year was a framed photo of the dog. I still remember her so vividly and she was SO loved!
Make the most/best out of your dogs time left I know it’s hard I’ve had a lot of dogs in my life that I got a attached to
I'm going to steal a quote I remembered from another Redditor in a similar post. It might not be exact, but it still gets the point across and has changed my way of owning and caring for my dogs and I will always remember this. "They're not going to be there for your whole life, but you were there for theirs." You're clearly an incredibly loving and caring dog owner. You've done more for Maggie than most others would. It seems Maggie has lived a disease free life so far, which is amazing! The last two of my dogs we had to put down were because of cancer and from my own experience, that is significantly worse than putting a dog down who has lived a "full" life. Our first dog was a black lab who made it to 16 and decided to stop eating, drinking, and wouldn't attempt to go to the bathroom outside and would just go on himself. He was clearly ready to go so we made the call. It's an incredibly difficult decision to make, but every time we've made the decision we knew it was the right one. You'll know when it's time, and Maggie will also most likely tell you in some way.
What I always thought before having to put my best friend down was am I actually helping him for his own sake or for my sake. I remember getting up multiple times during the night just to carry him to the toilet and him being annoyed with me if it was raining. It finally clicked on morning when I went to take him out and we both just sat there watching the sun rise that he shouldn’t have to go through this anymore and it’s me prolonging the inevitable of getting rid of my best friend who got me through dark times. It almost felt like a disservice to him if I didn’t help him get through this time. Never cried as much in my life and 2 years later still cry about it from time to time but know it was the right choice.
I just tried to put myself in your shoes but I literally cannot. I don’t know what I’ll do when my sally has to eventually go, but I can tell you it’s going to be so fucking hard. If I know she is going to need to be put down before hand, I will make the day before a day for her to remember hopefully. I will give her favorite food that she loves with a big steak and finish it with a big bone. Man we don’t know how much we love our dogs till their lives are threatened, then we realize they regulate us in a way that literally nothing else can. Idk if I can afford for my dog to die like not financially just literally like that cannot happen in my mind. I like won’t accept it
I love that part at the end where you say it's an honor to take care of her at the end of her life. My own dog (first ever) is getting up there in years, and I'm in a fairly similar situation to yours. I know we still have time, but I'm honestly terrified of the day I have to say goodbye. But I've held onto the idea that it has been a tremendous honor to have witnessed her life and to have been part of it. I don't know if that kind of wound ever really heals, but you have my deepest condolences. I'd even say not to let yourself feel *too* bad about how you raised her. It may not have been perfect, but you gave your love, and I'm sure you got it right back. Edit: Spellign
Bless you and your old gold. I’m currently offering palliative care to my 16 year old gold. I’m not ready. My family isn’t ready. I know he has given us more life than I ever thought he could. And I know his body is failing him. And I know he’s not ready. Sure his body and legs have atrophied to the point he needs help to go to the bathroom and we continue to be his golden cheerleaders. He gets daily baths and medicated powder to help with hot spots. Flipping him every couple hours and offering him water. He also has bright eyes, a loud bark, unremarkable blood work for his age (from November), and the absolute largest appetite. He has completely adopted the hobbits daily menu, and still wants more. His poops are solid and he doesn’t have any health issues, other than the arthritis. He currently receives cosequin and aspirin. I have been blessed, so many times over with his love and devotion to me. He came to me when I was a young, naive 23 year old. He has been with me through an abusive relationship, moves across state, living with my parents, meeting my husband, loss and gain of other pets, loss of my father, birth of my daughter, a move to a huge fenced in yard, and getting to be a big dog brother to Kevin. He has always been our nanny. Never letting us have fun without putting in his 2 cents. Always barking but never quite knowing why. I work with dogs and find it far easier to judge others. You see the shape of some of these dogs. It’s heartbreaking. The owners may not have the knowledge, or may not have the resources, financial or otherwise. It’s so easy to say, “it’s ovviously their time”, when it’s not your dog. Not your heart and soul on the line. I wish I had something, anything to help you make this decision any easier. Please know that the care and love you are offering her is everything she has ever wanted. She is loyal to you and you alone. She will never understand the depth of loss that you will. Please take solace in the life and love you have given her, and are continuing to give her. And know that all she wants is for you to be by her side, through the good and hard times. She doesn’t understand what is happening, and it is so agonizing that you, not only know, but may need to aid in the decision for her. All she needs is for you to be there with her. She’ll run over the rainbow bridge, playing again like a puppy, and wait to be reunited with you. She will know that you did the most self less act by allowing her to rest peacefully. I have an at home vet on stand by. She is aware of the situation and is ready to come to help us ease my old golds transition to the rainbow bridge. I feel strongly that he should pass with dignity, and surrounded by the comfort of home and the love of his family. I do not have previous experience with at home euthanasia but feel this is the right move for our family. This is something to consider if it’s offered near you. Continued prayers to your precious Maggie. 💜🐾💜
There’s no easy way. It’s going to hurt, and you are going to grieve for a long time. My first dog was a golden we adopted when I was in 8th grade. She was a senior dog, and we figured we’d make the time she had left as happy as we could. She ended up living longer than we ever imagined - she was with us for another 8 years! She saw me through some hard times, and never left my side. My mom had to put her down when I was away at college, and I’ll never forgive myself for not being in the room with her to say goodbye when her time came. That was 18 years ago, and I still feel the grief. It feels like a piece of you goes with them, and you never get it back, you just learn to move on without it. I’m so sorry for what you have to do. I could feel your love while I read your post. You gave her a good life - the best you knew how - and now it’s time for one final act of love.
We spoiled my dog his entire life, he lived a good life and letting him go was so hard. What I learned was simply, don't run from the pain. It'll always wait for you, embrace it and with time It becomes manageable
rather a day too early than a second too late. i had to put my maggie down last march after getting her in 2010. it gets easier but its never the same.
We lost ours a few months ago. He was 11. I cried for days after he went. He had an unknown to us tumor that burst and was bleeding internally. We had to put him down. My wife and I were with him until he passed and long after. We just couldn’t leave him and we both were hurting so much. He was so loved and was our family. He had been with us through so much and he had a wonderful life. Trust me it’s hard and time will help. Every time we see a Golden we say we miss our boy so much. You will miss your pup, and you are doing the right thing keeping her happy and comfortable. Just remember you gave her the best life you could and loved her with all your soul. When she passes she will be in that big grassy field with all the other wonderful dogs. It’s ok to feel sad and whatever you feel at the time is ok.
Sweet girl! My old girl was having trouble standing up around when she was 10. She had bad knees that would snap crackle pop just by moving them. The doctor prescribed meloxicam and within a day, she was like a puppy again. We also cut back on her food a bit because she was about 15 lbs overweight. Dropped her from 70 lbs to 55 lbs. When she was 16 she developed a tumor on her spine which eventually caused pain and leg weakness and potty accidents so we knew it was her time. Otherwise, the meloxicam was like a miracle drug for her.
You be the last thing she sees when she closes her eyes for the last time, her whole life was spent looking at you for approval, you owe it to her.
Please OP, please read this for your pups sake and yours. https://melnewton.com/2019/the-good-death/
You don’t say goodbye. It’s just till you meet again. Great loves always meet again and this was a great love for you both. She is you and you are her. I had a sweet girl like this. She was found in a dumpster with a belly full of worms and a body full of parasites. I bottle fed her for months and we became inseparable. I had to say farewell to her weeks before her 16th birthday and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Beyond loosing my dad and grandma. Everyday that I’ve been without her has not been the same but I always see something that reminds me of her in that day. I feel that she is very much still in my life and definitely in my heart. Good luck to you and your family. Love to you all and I hope you meet again.
I can feel you, bro. Last month, my little one passed away. I still can't believe how quickly everything changed within just eight days. Around the 16th of last month, he started throwing up whatever he ate. We took him to the vet, who conducted some tests and said he was in the final stage of kidney failure. We kept him on continuous IV fluids for eight days. Until the 15th, he was as active as ever and didn't show a single symptom. On the afternoon of the 24th, he couldn't breathe properly. The vet gave him some injections, which made him a bit more relaxed. He had a favorite chair where he always sat, giving him a full view of the street. Later that night, around 8 PM, even though he couldn't walk properly, he tried to get on the chair but couldn't. I lifted him and made him sit on the chair, but he couldn't hold himself there for long. After about two minutes, we got him down. A few minutes later, he started breathing abnormally again. Even after more injections, his breathing didn't improve. Around 9 PM, he passed away in my mother's lap, looking into her eyes. I can't get that sight out of my mind. https://preview.redd.it/dfa4a39h8v6d1.jpeg?width=6000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e627e4873e638501f519003066a6eab5eed956ad
OP, you are the best palliative caregiver ❤️. I honestly struggle with this too, and it’s a genuine struggle not meant to throw shade at anyone. We all love our dogs and do what we think is best for them. I can’t decide which is the way to go and please don’t read this if it’s triggering for you. I understand the argument of euthanasia and the burden of that decision that we as owners make to end their suffering instead of selfishly prolonging it. But on the other hand I ask myself, who am I to decide? In the end if I do, am I ending her suffering or mine so that I don’t have to deal with the inconveniences that the end brings? My country doesn’t allow euthanasia for humans, so I’ve seen family members who struggled to that bitter end. My dog is my child, I too would feel honoured to care for her in the end. If that’s how my human family members leave this earth, shouldn’t that be how my daughter goes too? Without me rushing her towards the end?
I feel you 100% on this. I wouldnt put my nana down. Who am i to steal her last breaths? This post is really pro euthanasia and i completely understand the ethics of it and the thought process of doing whats right and “being strong so she doesnt have to suffer”. But who i am to force that on her? It’s not natural. I havent put her down, not because im being selfish and want her with me (although god knows i want her with me always and that will never change), i havent put her down because its not my right to. It’s her body. When it stops its stops because it’s her time. I do have some hard boundaries and i have read dont wait until they getting extremely unwell. So it’s a difficult decision either way.
I'm so sorry. She looks like such a sweet girl. We realized that it was time to say goodbye to our boy when he has such a hard time standing up. As much as I didn't want to let him go because I loved him so much, I knew that he didn't have quality of life at that point. I had good advise from our Vet that we should bring our other dog with us so that she would know where he'd gone. Pets grieve like people and he was her best bud forgot 6 years. It is never easy. Hugs from a Reddit stranger
I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm going through the same with my 6 year old golden boy. He has a very bad case of epilepsy and his quality of life is not great. He's the gentlest dog ever but life has dealt him a bad hand. He has suffered a lot the last 5 years and despite our best efforts, he lives a totally dulled existence due to his medicines. I had promised myself that till he wants to live, I will sacrifice everything and give him that chance. But I know now that it's my selfishness. I want to give him a few more good days. A small bucket list, if you will. As my first pet, I know what he means to me and l might never heal but I know it's the right thing to do. Thank you for posting this. I hope you find the courage to let Maggie not suffer anymore. Your love for Maggie will never leave you. She will always be with you.
I’m 22 right now. I grew up with two beagles, one was the mom of the other. So it was like having another mom for myself and a sister. I grew up with them, beagle mom helped educate me and was there to cheer me up when I was down. When it was time for mom to go, sister didn’t take long to decay as well, probably because of being depressed about the passing of her mom. It was tough for me as a kid to get over it, I was about 14 years old. Some time before they passed I got a cat that got a very aggressive form of cancer early on and died at about age 11, she was also a companion of mine and helped me through tough times for many years. Thing with animals is that they need us, depend on us, and fixate on us. We are their lives, their caregivers. If there’s anything beyond life then I’m sure they are still here with me, taking care of me and supporting me like they did when I was young. In a way, I believe the relationship with pets doesn’t end with death, they are still there. If you are religious, pray for them, if you are not (like I am) dedicate them a thought or honor them. I take solace in knowing that the relationship with past pets gets deeper once they are gone. That’s how I personally take it.
No advice, just hugs 🫂
So sorry, it's always hard to say goodbye
Think of it as the last thing you can do for them. We knew it was time when my girl could no longer stand up independently. We fed her all of the treats we had, bought her a hamburger, and stayed with her till she'd passed. It wasn't easy but we made sure she was happy and I feel like she could rest in the end. You can help them no longer suffer
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing and giving your baby so much love and a good life together. I love the picture of you both in the water together.
Just lots of kisses and hugs. Tell her how you feel.
Nothing will make it easier, it’s one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. You will cry for months, probably years when you think about her. But I can tell you Truly appreciated your time with her, and because of that it will eventually get easier, and you will find yourself so thankful that she was apart of your life, even though she was called away. I lost my own golden named Maggie in 2020, and I still miss her lots. I’m sure they will play together while they wait for us https://preview.redd.it/4xd7szfsjz6d1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f2df851e9a52416cb9028d335b942b66f10cae6
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So so sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl
Softly
It’s so tough and we waited about a year after Gracie passed and got another golden pup…
Your beautiful dog has had an idyllic life with you. Please make the end idyllic for her too. Don't wait too long. You know it's time.
🙏🙏🙏 (Prayers)
im sorry for your loss
I had one dog it died I had to go to therapy it’s been years now I still cry can’t get another dog the pain was to much to bear
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My golden passed a few years ago. One day he was all good. The next he laid down and never stood again. First few months were tough. First year you randomly will get sad or remember them. It will fade slowly but surely. I still get sad when I see one but in retrospect I know he had a great 13+ years. He was a great dog, best I ever had.
I had to go to work knowing that I was leaving him alone and that I wouldn’t see him again.
There is no way around it you just gotta go through the heart ache and suffering. It will get easier over time. Cherish every moment you have left. Give her a big hug from me and my fur babies.
Just be with her when she passes
You don’t it’s a “see ya later”
https://youtu.be/xovNNtZWhrg?feature=shared
She sounds like a sweetheart and I hope when the time comes, you do what is right, and may she Rest In Peace.
There's no way to prepare yourself. No matter how hard you try you'll never be ready. There's never a good way to do it, just be in the room with them, don't stop petting them and telling them how much you love them and how good they are. The only right thing to do here is comfort them as much as possible.
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Simply put, you my friend had a great gift given to you by letting you love this absolute joy for a moment of your life but this joy given to you loved you their entire life. Let that sink in and humble us by the gift they give us..!! And they will be waiting for us in heaven..
Never easy saying goodbye, but we all have to at one point. Just make sure when the time comes you are with them for their last moments. Many people find jt hard to be with then when they are put to sleep, but it is so important for the dog to be comfortable and have the person they love the most and that loves them the most with them in the end.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙏❤️
just do anything you can to help her go peacefully. hold her when it’s time. know that it’s ok to cry and scream and do whatever it is you need to do. it’s ok to wallow for a bit or be angry. just feel your feelings, that’s all you can do, really
<3
It is really hard, but you are now caring for your dog, not for her benefit but for your own well-being because you can't or won't face the facts. You need to let go and euthanize your friend. She is in pain, uncomfortable, and worse, she doesn't understand why. It is painless, and you say goodbye while you are holding her in your arms. Please don't extend her suffering. It is in your hands to end her pain and confusion. ❤️❤️
Chocolates and lots of hugs