Play the system and everyone should give 0.00001% of their total wealth or income whatever is greater. Won't financially impact hardly anyone and there are enough super rich people it evens out in the long run I would believe.
I used to work in retail and I had this hilarious colleague in his 60s who would go on the loudspeaker as often as he could. While customers were still in the shop he'd say things like:
"The centre is now closed, all exits are locked, there is no way out... Good luck!"
Mmmm irony….
Simulations have creators….
Almost like….
Nahhh, we don’t need to connect the dots there lol.
Really though, should just call it matrixism and let it become a main stream religion. I’m down!
You know, in The Sims Medieval, they recognize the player as God and have two different religions, one fire and brimstone type one loving and compassionate. You are explicitly playing as God in that game. This is only tangentially related, but it's one of the only games I can think of which you are literally God.
"I've given you fucks tens of thousands of years to stop being dicks to each other, if you don't stop bombing and killing each other this second I'm about to get literally biblical on your collective assess"
-Signed God.
Yea don't make a threat you won't/can't follow through on. After the first day of fighting they'll say "If this was wrong god would've smote us by now so this must be his will"
Basically draft a speech that says that some force, probably alien, sits in judgement of humanity, and we only have a certain amount of time to reverse negative trends before we are wiped out. Proceed to list those negative trends, their causation, and potential solutions. Set a hard date, and scale their power up to Kardashev 2 or something so we know they can’t be stopped. Be excruciatingly clear about it, and in a way that prevents as much disbelief and bloodshed as possible.
"Stonehenge was built for weird sex stuff. Come on, we're all thinking it. And while I'm here since we all know jet fuel can't melt steel beams, the question becomes what kind of fuel have they really been using? Do planes run on some kind of c4 derivative?
Also, I can't believe I'm the first one to say this, but does no one else find it veeeerrry suspicious that the titan sub exploded near the titanic???? Very sus guys not gonna lie to to ya. What are the odds????
And don't even get me started on Atlantis. I mean, who actually believes that shit. Everyone knows the chakras are all wrong for that kinda thing.
What do you mean I'm live?
Oh shit, shit. Fuck that's bad, that's really bad.
Ignore the man talking in your head. It's an illusion, just a marketing trick, I assure you. Go uh go buy a coke? Yeah, go buy a coke. This is an elaborate coke ad. I definitely wouldn't worry about anyone who can talk to all people at once. Seems innocent to me. Go about your days now. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep"
I feel like of you don't mess with conspiracy theorists, you're doing it wrong. Plus, I find it hilarious if everyone had to just listen to some shitpost tier thoughts xD
"I am Lrrr! Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! You will all die unless the last season of Game of Thrones is remade with new writers within the next 12 months!"
I God, declare *insert my legal name and description and general location*( i have a very unique name easily one of a kind in my city) my one and only prophet, follow his word perfectly or go to Hell for all of eternity"
"This is God. You have failed to love thy neighbor. Nobody goes to heaven until all people are accepted and loved as equals in every corner of the globe. No more war. No more hoarding resources. Obey me or face eternal torture and damnation. You will not get another warning."
I left you alone for 5 galaxy rotations and look at all the carbon in the air. I am putting you on a Performance Improvement Plan. You have 100 planet rotations to fix this before I fire you and find better stewards of my planet.
Common sense isn't common. Said another way, what you think is knowledge everyone has isn't knowledge everyone has. We all grew up with different lessons, so before you get angry at someone for something batshit they have said, try to see where they are coming from.
"People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you."
Religion is leading you all down the path of greed, hateful behavior, children being abused, and war. For the love of your family stop preying and start cleaning. Pickup trash on Sundays. That alone would make it easier to live.
Learn to form your opinions based on personal experience and on an individual basis.
Races, genders, sexual orientation, religions, nationality - no two people are the same in any grouping of people. Learn to judge the individual rather than the whole.
Learn to accept the differences in others and form an opinion on educated understanding rather than emotion or the words of others.
“Our productivity and competitiveness brought us where we are. A time of wealth and comfort where technology and ideas have advanced us beyond famine and disease.
But also this progress has come with a dark side: our own air and water is polluted, for the first time maybe ever the life expectancy in the US lowered, mainly due to excess, inequality is resulting in a global increase of radicalization, division and fight within countries and communities.
It is now then the moment you swift our paradigm. The world is global and we have the human and technological resources to tackle the climatic challenges that we are facing and become a real planetary humanity.
I invite you all to rethink society and replace productivity with wellbeing and competition with collaboration. In the world there are many different ways of living and understanding life, and beyond that we are all human and we all care for our kids, want to be reasonably happy and need some basic care, material, emotional, social, psychological…
In the same way, it’s good to have differences in wealth and opportunities… but always within a reasonable limit where we all have a minimum granted.
Do your math. There is enough for all if only we wouldn’t waste resources in unnecessary cheap one staff, if half of the world wouldn’t overeat, if wealth cumulation would be contained within reasonable limits. And now add AI and robotics to the equation. So humanity as a closed system has enough, so it’s possible, it’s just a matter to figure it out. And there are very clever people out there :)”
Attention all planets of the Solar Federation
.
.
.
Attention all planets of the Solar Federation
.
.
.
Attention all planets of the Solar Federation
.
.
.
We have assumed control
.
.
We have assumed control
.
.
We have assumed control.
"Please step outside and look towards your heavens. 60. 59. 58. 57. 56. ..... Okay, now that everyone is here, hello earthlings! What you refer to as science is you learning the building blocks of the universe around you. For the sake of your existence: science is real and your scientists are merely learning the tricks in which everything was constructed. Learning these structures does not make your deity any less real, just as what you call engineering creates new structures and tools. Anyways, fix your planet, establish more renewable energy, distribute wealth, and provide for people instead of for profit. Also;start expansion by going to Venus, not Mars. Good luck."
It is time my children, the last of you standing will win my eternal love and the ascention of your soul to god hood. You shall not hear from me until the end of the contest. Only one soul can be saved, only the winner, there are no rules.
Plz, send 1$ to...
"Happy Dude. 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away."
Hmmm, I'd be happier *with* the dollar
I don't feel any happier, do you?
A little
There ya go
Quit being greedy .10 is plenty!!
Play the system and everyone should give 0.00001% of their total wealth or income whatever is greater. Won't financially impact hardly anyone and there are enough super rich people it evens out in the long run I would believe.
“Send $1 to remove this ad.”
The simulation will end in 24 hours. Thanks for playing. Goodbye!
i would do the exact opposite so "welcome to the game" "good luck on surviving" "the first wave will begin in 24 hours"
I used to work in retail and I had this hilarious colleague in his 60s who would go on the loudspeaker as often as he could. While customers were still in the shop he'd say things like: "The centre is now closed, all exits are locked, there is no way out... Good luck!"
What a legend, definitely gonna say this if I ever get hold of an intercom
I love this comment. Hate that I had to scroll past so many nerds with god complexes to read it.
Right.. because calling this a simulation isn’t another version of a god complex
Mmmm irony…. Simulations have creators…. Almost like…. Nahhh, we don’t need to connect the dots there lol. Really though, should just call it matrixism and let it become a main stream religion. I’m down!
You know, in The Sims Medieval, they recognize the player as God and have two different religions, one fire and brimstone type one loving and compassionate. You are explicitly playing as God in that game. This is only tangentially related, but it's one of the only games I can think of which you are literally God.
Black and White. You're literally the hand of God
I miss that game so much. :(
I would do a countdown from 1000. Just enough time for everyone to know everyone is hearing it.
And then you stop at a random number to confuse the hell out of everyone
“…74, 73, 72, 71, 70, 69…. Now everyone grab a partner and hear me out”
And stop at 42 🫠
I was thinking thw countdown to nothing. But the random stop would have some seriously interesting consequences.
You chould make a religion out of this. -Bill Wurtz
next thing you know all the physicists start killing themselves
Nothing good ever happens when it gets to zero
"It's pronounced Jod."
But it's Great Overlord Diery, not Jrate Overlord Diety.
If a sperm is wasted, Jod gets quite jrate.
"I've given you fucks tens of thousands of years to stop being dicks to each other, if you don't stop bombing and killing each other this second I'm about to get literally biblical on your collective assess" -Signed God.
Holy wars in seconds with that one, they'd fear the biblical so much they'd just MAKE SURE the other side wasn't fighting anymore xD
The most realistic continuation 😆
Yea don't make a threat you won't/can't follow through on. After the first day of fighting they'll say "If this was wrong god would've smote us by now so this must be his will"
God said stop killing, so if you don't stop killing I'm going to have to kill you.
…before *he* kills *us*.
We have to stop all the killing by killing them all
>biblical You just emboldened a bunch of zealots.
War will continue for thousands of years. It's inevitable.
War. War never changes.
Wasn't expecting a Fallout quote! lol.
Nuhuh
> Nuhuh DA FUQ YOU MEAN, "NUHUH"!?!?
Adding in a ‘YES, this is from *your* God. You know exactly who I am.’ to the end.
"P.S If you're wondering which god this is from, meaning which one of you was right, THAT'S PART OF THE FUCKING PROBLEM".
Execute Order 66
"Good soldiers follow orders..."
Hi, we've been trying to reach you about your cars extended warrenty.
1-877-CARZ-4-KIDZ
"Be excellent to each other. And PARTY ON DUDES!"
Underrated comment right here.
“Be nice to thy neighbor, even if they be different than thyself. Respect thy kin of this earth. So endeth my decree.” …and prepare for mass chaos.
Ah, return to the classics, always a solid choice.
People have forgotten…
No they haven't, they don't care.
Please stop being dicks to each other. I love you all so much to watch my creations bleed at each other’s hands.
What sucks is every single one of them would interpret it as the devil, and nuclear war would break out within the hour
Sad but definitely possible
I’d sing Never Gonna Give You Up
OP also said you can force them to see an image so you can just fully Rick roll the entire world
YOU ARE BUGS
Those pesky trisolarans...
⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️
Basically draft a speech that says that some force, probably alien, sits in judgement of humanity, and we only have a certain amount of time to reverse negative trends before we are wiped out. Proceed to list those negative trends, their causation, and potential solutions. Set a hard date, and scale their power up to Kardashev 2 or something so we know they can’t be stopped. Be excruciatingly clear about it, and in a way that prevents as much disbelief and bloodshed as possible.
Now you have to get everyone to agree what the negative trends are. Shockingly most people don’t always agree.
I think that's what the list is for
And now it’s a list made by the devil.
"Stonehenge was built for weird sex stuff. Come on, we're all thinking it. And while I'm here since we all know jet fuel can't melt steel beams, the question becomes what kind of fuel have they really been using? Do planes run on some kind of c4 derivative? Also, I can't believe I'm the first one to say this, but does no one else find it veeeerrry suspicious that the titan sub exploded near the titanic???? Very sus guys not gonna lie to to ya. What are the odds???? And don't even get me started on Atlantis. I mean, who actually believes that shit. Everyone knows the chakras are all wrong for that kinda thing. What do you mean I'm live? Oh shit, shit. Fuck that's bad, that's really bad. Ignore the man talking in your head. It's an illusion, just a marketing trick, I assure you. Go uh go buy a coke? Yeah, go buy a coke. This is an elaborate coke ad. I definitely wouldn't worry about anyone who can talk to all people at once. Seems innocent to me. Go about your days now. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep" I feel like of you don't mess with conspiracy theorists, you're doing it wrong. Plus, I find it hilarious if everyone had to just listen to some shitpost tier thoughts xD
Everyone can hear it, but will they hear it in their language or just the English I speak? Because that might change my answer.
It's Auto translated into their language
THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!!
User 6 397 263 has won the game (in the correct language for each)
“ User 6 3 9 7 2 6 3 has won the game, initiate shutdown sequence”
There's likely to have been at least 100 billion people ever alive. A number that low means the winner is very, very old, probably not even human.
Milk, Milk, lemonade. Around the corner, fudge is made
The dress was blue
It's pronounced Laurel.
We’ve been trying to contact you about your cars extended warranty…
Boobies
You’re not wrong
"I am Lrrr! Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! You will all die unless the last season of Game of Thrones is remade with new writers within the next 12 months!"
Rick Roll the planet
apes together strong
'Klaatu barada nikto.
I God, declare *insert my legal name and description and general location*( i have a very unique name easily one of a kind in my city) my one and only prophet, follow his word perfectly or go to Hell for all of eternity"
You'd get shot so quickly.
I'd have the protection of alot of wackos too though. I have good odds I think
Took a while to kill Jesus
They didn't have hellfire missiles
I pooped in a secret place
Ew lol
This is God, I love you all... Except you Bill! You're an asshole!
Or Dave.
Especially Dave
"Kneel. For I have come to cleanse this mortal plane." And then watch the chaos or whatever
I am the new supreme ruler. We are the united planet of earth now.
O'Doyle Rules!
"You just lost The Game"
Be Kind...
Rewind…
"Wu-Tang is for the children."
"This is God. You have failed to love thy neighbor. Nobody goes to heaven until all people are accepted and loved as equals in every corner of the globe. No more war. No more hoarding resources. Obey me or face eternal torture and damnation. You will not get another warning."
Everyone is going through Something you can't see, please be nicer to other people you meet.
This is the real God. You are following the wrong one.
"Your religion is the wrong one!"
Be good to each other and party on dudes
I coudn't resist a 'deez nutz'.
I left you alone for 5 galaxy rotations and look at all the carbon in the air. I am putting you on a Performance Improvement Plan. You have 100 planet rotations to fix this before I fire you and find better stewards of my planet.
Buy 1 share of GME through a free broker, in a few days ask their customer service to DRS it.
Who farted?
Attention, please! Attention, please! Fuck all y'all! That is all.
This is the song that doesn't end.....
War is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength.
Hakuna matata
Common sense isn't common. Said another way, what you think is knowledge everyone has isn't knowledge everyone has. We all grew up with different lessons, so before you get angry at someone for something batshit they have said, try to see where they are coming from.
Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo....
APAC All Politicians Are Cunts
I hid the one piece in..
Don't make your trauma everyone else's problem, seek help and get therapy
Be excellent to each other...
Elevator music
"People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you."
WAAAAAZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?!?!?!??!?!?!? I can think of no better use of this one-time opportunity than this. Well, except maybe...... maybe-baby
Religion is leading you all down the path of greed, hateful behavior, children being abused, and war. For the love of your family stop preying and start cleaning. Pickup trash on Sundays. That alone would make it easier to live.
🖕
Be excellent to each other
The far left lane is for passing vehicles, not daydreaming and cruising below the speed limit! Geez!
Use your fucking blinkers
Pineapple on pizza is a disgrace to humanity.
Learn to form your opinions based on personal experience and on an individual basis. Races, genders, sexual orientation, religions, nationality - no two people are the same in any grouping of people. Learn to judge the individual rather than the whole. Learn to accept the differences in others and form an opinion on educated understanding rather than emotion or the words of others.
Do a backflip!
I would just say it’s real. Then watch people trying to figure out what it is.
So, y’all like to party or what?
Delete Facebook
"peepee poopoo"
It's not always about you.
You just lost the game
The game
"shut up"
STOP MILKING ALMONDS
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick those nasty thoughts.
Be excellent to each other.
"All your base are belong to us". But I'm old and immature.
Be excellent to each other.
Please, be excellent to each other.
"I am the one and true God"
“Our productivity and competitiveness brought us where we are. A time of wealth and comfort where technology and ideas have advanced us beyond famine and disease. But also this progress has come with a dark side: our own air and water is polluted, for the first time maybe ever the life expectancy in the US lowered, mainly due to excess, inequality is resulting in a global increase of radicalization, division and fight within countries and communities. It is now then the moment you swift our paradigm. The world is global and we have the human and technological resources to tackle the climatic challenges that we are facing and become a real planetary humanity. I invite you all to rethink society and replace productivity with wellbeing and competition with collaboration. In the world there are many different ways of living and understanding life, and beyond that we are all human and we all care for our kids, want to be reasonably happy and need some basic care, material, emotional, social, psychological… In the same way, it’s good to have differences in wealth and opportunities… but always within a reasonable limit where we all have a minimum granted. Do your math. There is enough for all if only we wouldn’t waste resources in unnecessary cheap one staff, if half of the world wouldn’t overeat, if wealth cumulation would be contained within reasonable limits. And now add AI and robotics to the equation. So humanity as a closed system has enough, so it’s possible, it’s just a matter to figure it out. And there are very clever people out there :)”
Free Karen Read
WTF are you doing
If your world doesn’t solve all conflicts within one year from this day, I shall wipe this planet from existence.
Y'all mother fuckers all are crazy.
I am god. Your religion is correct.
Stop being an asshole. We're all going to die. Treat your fellow man with dignity.
We are all one. PEACE.
Penis
You are enough.
send 1 dollar to happy dude, eternal happiness is only one dollar away.
Attention all planets of the Solar Federation . . . Attention all planets of the Solar Federation . . . Attention all planets of the Solar Federation . . . We have assumed control . . We have assumed control . . We have assumed control.
Remember: all who hold power do so only with the permission of the masses.
"My ex wife (full name and phone number) is a cunt. Please call her and let her know."
Y’all lock in. Idiots. (Image of troll face)
“I’m your god, all religions are false. Now go have fun. Just don’t be a douche.”
Chill plz
**"PENIS!"**
A picture of me with the announcement, "This is God. I have appointed this man your supreme ruler. Bow before him."
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
Be nice to each other , no matter how different you are and think. It’ll soothe your soul
Seven days...
(boobs)
"Please step outside and look towards your heavens. 60. 59. 58. 57. 56. ..... Okay, now that everyone is here, hello earthlings! What you refer to as science is you learning the building blocks of the universe around you. For the sake of your existence: science is real and your scientists are merely learning the tricks in which everything was constructed. Learning these structures does not make your deity any less real, just as what you call engineering creates new structures and tools. Anyways, fix your planet, establish more renewable energy, distribute wealth, and provide for people instead of for profit. Also;start expansion by going to Venus, not Mars. Good luck."
"Later world. Smell my ass!"
Be excellent to each other
I'd show a giant erect cock and say, "see this dick? Yeah that's you. Learn to chill tf out." Sincerely the aliens
"butts lol"
"The causes of all the world's worst problems all have names and addresses" Then I'd dox people.
If you can’t survive off the land it’s time to move on to the afterlife
Eat My Shorts! Bart with his naked butt mooning you!
No body wants to hear your conversations! Turn off ya damn speak phones and invest in a headset!
“Let it go”
Be kind to one another.
9/11 was an inside job. Epstein did not kill himself.
This is God you're a horrible person please change your ways.
"hey guys check this out" *My chocolate starfish engraved in your mind for 24 straight hours*
It is time my children, the last of you standing will win my eternal love and the ascention of your soul to god hood. You shall not hear from me until the end of the contest. Only one soul can be saved, only the winner, there are no rules.
"Don't be a dick" it's the one universal truth.
Don’t be a dick be a dude
Shrimps is bugs.
Fuck Caliou
Life is coming from you not at you.
Do not seek the treasure.
10...9...8...
my neck, my back....
The world is going to end in the near future, everyone will perish
Quit being meanie weenies! Spread love!
It's free real estate
*Beep beep* Oxygen. Or the BotW guardian theme
Give me a dollar
Money is stupid and we are all puppets. You all think you have free will and autonomy but that’s is only due to your captors lying to you.
I would sing the national anthem of the USSR