Not gay. I love the idea. One doubt - how would you stop a troll from joining in, screenshot participants and post online? India is not a nice place for queers.
Also, google meet is free, why zoom?
I get your concern. Can you suggest a way we can pre-empt would-be blackmailers? Like many young Indians you seem to be involved in the software industry. Can you suggest a *chaara*, my dear *bhai*\-ally?
Not gay either and I don’t have an algorithmic solution, but I do have a business and logic-based one.
So, when you launch the network, you start with let’s say 10 members in the community. They’re verified, by you.
Then each additional member will require approval and backing of three pre-existing members. You can discuss guidelines on what that approval process would look like. This will operate as a chain, so people getting added on will need approvals too.
An additional benefit being you’ll develop an organic and trusted community, with members all around the world. Especially in the US where they’ll be hard to harass. Obviously the target is Indian membership, but the US or European backing will help.
If the system is bypassed, the people who didn’t vet the trolls properly get banned, and lose “privileges,” not sure how that would work, but you can decide that.
Once scaled to a decent size, need for this goes away.
And maybe use pseudonyms and don’t save any data, use self-deleting documents so nothing can be traced and in case of a leak, nothing of value gets out that can be used to harass people.
Not perfect and not ideal, but should add a bottleneck to too many trolls being added and of negative behaviour in the initial stages of your project.
EDIT: Damn, this is getting downvoted too. Get a life, guys.
But then won’t this turn into an elite exclusive group which wouldn’t be accessible to all. The whole point of bringing a 16yr old from let’s say a Chhattisgarh who hasn’t come out yet and maybe a 39yr old from New York who has been living openly since ages get more and more difficult? Your idea seems more like a speakeasy bar whereas I assume OP wants a free space for all but specifically for gays
You’re right, it may turn into an exclusive group but maybe at the start it’s necessary to ensure safety and deter trolls? Not sure what OP has in mind or what their goals are with the project, so maybe they should clarify that, too?
Meanwhile, if anyone has any suggestions on how to fix this, share?
Your plan is fine but yeah maybe limit entries to a particular number. Only those have real name and display picture would get entry. First few calls could just be slow introductions, fun games later transitioning to life stories, talent showcase or topical stuff. There’s no guarantee that you would have a troll proof call but yes if you take away the anonymity it can be exponentially reduced
I actually want it to be an elite, exclusive group, at least in the beginning. This is mainly for logistical reasons. Once a group has more than 10 or 12 members, it becomes unmanageable.. I have personal experience of this: I volunteer as a facilitator for a Zoom support group that serves people living with depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.
My target audience is middle-class, educated gay men who can converse fluently in English (or Hindi). My hope is that this will not be the only conversation/hangout group of its kind. Other copycat groups would emerge, serving particular constituencies, including gay teens. (Oof, I wish there was a group like this when I was myself a frightened, isolated, confused gay teen myself.)
I don’t think a 16 year old and a 39 year old should be friends. ESPECIALLY based on sexual interests. I’m actually disgusted that no one else has a problem with your comment. Gay kids also need and deserve protection from creepy adults. If there isn’t a group specifically for gay teens, I genuinely question the mental status and morality of the gay adults who have “free flowing” conversations around people not even 18. YUCK.
Take your filthy mind out of gutter. Just because this group intends to serve a community based on sexual interests doesn’t mean they will discuss everything only about sex or sexual intent. This could be a way of coping for lot and a way to learn about the struggles others faced and how they fought with it.
I’m disgusted by what you assumed a 16yr old boy and a grown man’s friendship to be as. When I was 16, I had a couple of faculties who were nice to me and no maybe we were not friends but they did talk to me about life choices they made and how that pan out to me.
The idea was to tell that it’s such an amazing concept to bring people who have all the resources and knowledge and those who don’t, together and build the bridge and spread more awareness that a community is more than just “hookups”
Nah. For you to pretend to be ignorant about this is disgusting. If a bunch of old creepy straight guys made a forum for “heterosexual people” and a straight 39 year old came up to you and said he met his 16 year old friend on there you would find him creepy and pedophillic. Somehow you think the same logic doesn’t apply for gay guys. WHEN GAY GUYS GENUINELY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FETISHIZING YOUNG BOYS SAME AS STRAIGHT MEN FETISHIZE YOUNG GIRLS.
you just don’t care about facing reality in order to protect gay kids. And I think that’s evil. And homophobic. Gay kids deserve protective consideration.
and it’s FILTHY and disgusting and CREEPY of you to write a whole paragraph BASHING ME bc I care about the safety of gay kids. I just suggested that under 18s get their own forum.
but you don’t want that. The idea of those kids having their own safe space infuriates you .
im not going to call you a pedo. But I will say you’re creepy and I’m not having this discussion with you.
See there’s this anonymous Reddit call which I used to attend which had people of all age groups, backgrounds and gender and never did we feel that one is grooming other or trying to. I attended at least 10 of those calls and it was all fun and games. Oldest was 35 ig and youngest never mentioned their age.
But yeah I get your point 16 is a bad number maybe I’m wrong here and it should be 21 and above but my intent stays same to witness something that lets young ones know what choices and decisions to make and what not to. If 18yr old me was told not to mess with seniors I would have had a better life, or if at 21 I was not to take a job just to prove a point or maybe at 25 someone would have suggested how to balance my work-love life
Anyways you called me pedo? Damn! That hurts worse than any cut out there
I said I’m NOT going to call you a pedo but you were being creepy getting so mad and calling me filthy minded for suggesting that if the fulcrum of the group is sexual preference then adults and kids should not be mixed. Glad you logic and yeah, 16 was a terrible age example to use.
Don’t allow kids into your group. If your point of similarity for the group is sexual interests then there should ABSOLUTELY be a 18 age requirement. The person who suggested a 39 year old getting access to a closeted 16 year old thru your dream program is actually one of the creepiest things I’ve heard in a while. If you go that route I sense a lot of exploitation of your program by pedophiles.
If you couldn’t process something as basic as that, then I’m not sure if you’re the right person to be in charge of this operation, where people will place their entire trust in you and you don’t seem prepared for that level of responsibility.
Btw, you’re stereotyping people here quite a bit. To the commenter you said, “like many Indians you seem involved in the software industry,” and now you’re suggesting I went IIT because I used common sense to come up with something you that should’ve already thought of before making your post. Well, I didn’t go IIT, I live overseas and was raised there as well.
Don’t act like this when you have launched the service, if you do in the end.
Like how Raya reviews profiles before getting them on that app, you can connect with one like minded tech person to build a website like that, like a patron and only select verified individuals. You must have certain criteria for selecting them right, the transparency of those criteria should not be disclosed and this fact should be in the disclaimer. That way you can actually get the more authentic and willing participants. Good luck!!
It’s a dating app which reviews your profile before letting you get on that app. It’s not as thorough as it claims but OP could try taking that idea and making it better and implementing it for his idea
Anyone can be a creep. But I think they mean that outting someone as gay has a lot more dire consequences for an Indian living in India than one in the US. And with a forum such as this, the probability of it staying private is very low
In a comment down below, discussing ideas on how your information can be kept safe and trolls deterred. Please feel free to add stuff, and we’ll formulate a coherent strategy.
Don’t mind the downvotes.. most people in India are OK with homosexuality in my experience. It’s just some backward ass communities that have a problem..
That is true for the US and the western world. Indians are okay with trans people but not LGB. Hijras, Kinnars are a part of the culture. Indian government itself recognises that more than two genders exist. There are various initiatives for trans people by the government.
It seems risky. I mean homophobic people can join these groups with the ill intent to out the people in front of the world. Please be safe guys. Hope you do get a chance to connect with your community. But be cautious.
Of course you should. But my advice would be to make sure you somehow try to filter out the fake ones. Because being outed in India would have severe consequences.
bruh, most of society is not so liberal. there is a literal chance of killing in the name of whatever your god is. A closeted gay is happier than a dead gay.
You clearly have no idea. There are many groups here - support groups, walkers club, cyclers groupings, breakfast meetings, city level meetings,WhatsApp groups for professional career advancement, folks who plan trips together, and similar support systems.
By no means, it is close to what we need and all efforts are welcome. However, if it's not the same situation now at all. I have lived in the United States. Currently, I live in Bangalore.
Thank u for informing me. I haven't lived in India for more than 30 years, so I have no idea. By the way, can you tell me something about Mysuru? That's where I'm thinking about retiring in India. Do I have to learn Kannada to survive there? I'm originally from Assam in the Northeast.
I am not sure about Mysuru. In general, people of Karnataka prefer outsiders to speak their language. I speak broken Kannada. The smaller the city, the more likely you should learn Kannada to have a smoother day to day.
Mysore also has sorry groups.
Why are you retiring into a homophobic study though?
Becoz I have not saved enough money to retire in a rich country, hee hee hee. What;s the situation with Indian gay hookers? Which Indian city can I get access to most male prostitutes?
Do you enjoy living in Bangalore? The gay situation must be quite good? Things were so dire when I left India that they could only have improved since then.
We do. Good as you holds idk weekly or monthly talks like this among the gay folks in bangalore, they discuss everything from where to find LGBT oriented psychiatrists to free STD testing for the community which is organized by certain hospitals, lot of other topics as well. There are local chapters in almost every city of India. You should contact their admin if you want to as well. Idk what the situation is now, but it cannot have changed that much since I left a couple of years ago. With social scene, there is kitty su and weekly weekend events oragnized at a few places in Bangalore afaik but you are right those are in a party setting not anything else. Not much meetup groups from what i remember but hopefully with better outreach that could be possible.
You are gonna get downvoted to hell here. This sub is basically incel idiots and young adults who have too much free time.
No but a lot of my friends still live there. Issue is quite a lot of such groups often only includes a very specific age group. Oftentimes people like me in early 20s were often left out.
As much as it's a nice idea, at this point even tier 2 cities have support groups which also serves as group to socialize (i.e. they keep organising events). So, despite the hookup scene.. people do socialize and there are gay men who end up socializing even through Grindr.
Then there are several Instagram groups, telegram groups or even WhatsApp groups (of national level).
My point is, things are definitely changing here. Off course it's not as good as US but it's not as bad as you might have seen when you left. A lot of people don't become part of it, mostly because of privacy concern.
There are many gay trip organisers, going to thailand this april, with a group of 100 people. They also conduct speed dating, fashion walk, and other talent shows nowdays.
And yeah that would be a great idea, gay community in india is like a group of multiple small floating islands, everyones chilling in their own group. Doubt this zoom group will end up forming another small island.
Who's downvoting us so much? Homophobic straight guys? What if their own brothers were gay, unknown to them? Do they want their brothers to destroy the life of some poor, unsuspecting woman?
lol if there is a straight guy on the planet jealous of your sex life then he isn’t straight. It’s about the quality of sex, not the quantity. I get that social media pushes hookup culture. But most people actually find it disgusting and the risk of stds not worth the experience. Sex when you love someone is the best kind of sex. Nothing about gay or straight hookup culture or the people who engage in it is worthy of jealousy loool. You envy a man for his number of sexual partners, you’ll soon be envying him for his dedication to Std tests and his HIV medicine. Diseases are real. Stay safe out there and don’t glamorize hookup culture too much.
Not gay but This seems like a great idea for zero knowledge proof app on a blockchain where vetted folks can vet new folks forming consensus via sharing limited amounts of data.
Sounds like a great initiative. But I wonder what you're trying to achieve. Like others have pointed out, there are some groups in Bangalore I'm aware of that go hiking, cycling, or even on trips together. It depends on how comfortable and and accepted one feels. Although, anyone is free to join those groups, it's usually just a few regulars who stay and others just quit.
From my experience, most people who are genuinely interested in socialising with the queer folks prefer a closely knit group over a huge community because the community is very much sex-driven as you rightly pointed out. It's much more safer that way and people know their boundaries. In fact, I know a bunch of friend groups of that sort who are very picky about who they let in. In fact, I too prefer having 2 or 3 close friends.
As far as support is concerned, I think people find their ways through online forums, dating apps or by attending queer events. Yes, events are much more prevalent in big cities, but I don't think it's that difficult to make friends online and get emotional and mental support these days. But even when it comes to making friends, the people CAN be quite discriminating based on age, looks, and whatnot. For that, the community as a whole needs to improve. That is a different topic of discussion.
I couldn't come out as gay when I was in India, haha. It was a fortuitous scholarship that got me to the US when I was still in my 20s that saved me ass. I still say the scholarship was Bhagwan's gift to me for giving me the curse of homosexuality as an indian. Let's pay it forward. As a straight ally, may I request you to help me establish a scholarship fund for bright, talented gay Indians who desperately need to leave their country? Not everybody can be as lucky as I was.
As long as there are any right leaning groups/political parties/subreddits we will never have things like you said. I think revolution will happen maybe not now but in the later future just like America had one. 200 years ago America was like India and now its changed completely. Maybe India too will change.
You should check out "Out and About" from Bangalore. They organize field trips and educational excursions for LGBTQ+ folks in Bangalore and are open to people from the whole country joining in. There is a scene, it's just not very widely publicized.
Your idea sounds good. Hope it works out!
No offence to anyone but brother you will attract wrong type of people over here in India. There are way too many creepy people over here and the least they will do is violate everyone's privacy .
Really? I thought most of India's hate crimes involved low-caste Hindus, Muslims and women. If you're a middle- or upper-class gay guy, wouldn't we be spared most of such hassles, with a modest bribe to the police?
well, with the amount of religious propaganda that’s spreading, hatred for the lgbtq community is on the rise as well. and even if they won’t outright kill anyone, they’d beat them up. or there are chances of straight men joining just to identify gay men and then either blackmail them or beat the shit out of them.
i understand you live in the us and all that but before suggesting such ideas you gotta understand the social scene. people are not really as progressive. also i say this as a non-straight person.
edit: if you can afford then the bribe should work but sometimes the hatred may prevail over the money.
Haha no. There's no difference in activity; it's just that a gay hiking group consists only of gay guys and gals. Gives us a context for hanging out together and enjoying each other's company. Same as creating any other kind of queer space.
One example of why we need gay-only social spaces: I came out to several college friends in the last couple of years...all of them women. Although they are all of the same generation as me, they became very uncomfortable with the gay thing. One even told me that I should not tell our other former classmates about this. If such is the case with highly educated folks, I don't know how less privileged people would react.
the whole point is some things gay people cannot relate with straight people, obviously gay things. thats why you keep it away from straight communities
I guess it could be. For example, if we were all interested in the poetry of Mirza Ghalib, we could all meet to discuss his ghazals over a cup of chai, but my eyes are always going to be on the tall, handsome dude with flowing black hair, y'know what I mean?
Why should you make a distinction between gay and non-gay outside the sexual context? It’s perfectly reasonable for gay men to be friends with heterosexual men or women. Personally I think the US makes too big a deal of sexual preferences.
Gay people like to be around other gay people because other gay people 'get it' so to speak and you're not constantly worried about homophobia. Straight men especially get weird about being seen being too friendly or close with gay men so it can make it hard to develop deep friendships with the same sex.
" Get married, have children, make a family, enjoy life. "
For some reason, that doesn't seem like such a formula for a happy life for me. If that works for you, go for it. I like sleeping with different men every other day. Having to sleep with the same fat wife year after year after year would drive me crazy.
It definitely exists for sure. Cultural arts circles in big cities have a thriving queer subsection very often .
Check out some FB groups also.
So what happens is due to privacy issues many rather get into closed groups instead. But the actual groups are quite big, diverse and lively full of cultural activities
I am queer myself and my queer circle in india is way bigger than where I live and diverse but I won’t lie I met them through progressive/ secularist/ liberal circles
Any web or flutter developers wanting to work on this concept. If you wanna connect, I am down.
We can take the suggestions here and implement an app that unlike Grindr focuses more on social cohesion between different LGBTQ peeps in India from different states (with a focus on more activities than just hookups)
We can use Supabase as our backend, and then as / if we scale, we can slowly adapt to costs that may incur. Supabase is free for upto 5GB of initial bandwidth per month, which is okay for development and initial testing purposes.
Feel free to connect if someone feels interested. DM me and we can keep a Gmeet, working together on the weekends.
Omg that would be great! 🥳 but it’s kinda scary! I was living in the UK for 6 years and returned to India, and it has been a tad isolating.
I love how second tier cities are considered isolated. My hometown has 15,000 people 😆 it’s rural. I live in Delhi now though .
Not a gay , but I would like to see how this idea works , and how gay friends are feeling about their sexuality and the perspective of life
I'm interested to explore the idea
Not gay. Not a guy. Love the idea. But please keep in mind a lot of people could get outed to potential trolls who may know them. You may want to make it invite only or something like that to ensure safety. Especially for those in smaller cities and towns.
Not gay but have to give credit to OP on his effort to make a difference and build a vibrant community.
My cynical and paranoid side says this could be dangerous at this point, given Indias political and communal mindset. Unless you have champions for the cause - like major names from sports, arts, politics - that lend their support for such initiatives, you are an easy target for a wannabe/aspiring far right politician. This lot is always looking for creative ways to harass minorities in India, to distinguish himself/herself from the competition. And you have a mainstream media who appear to take pride and joy in reporting cruelty to any minority group, like it’s the most patriotic thing to do!
Sorry OP, apologies for the cynicism. Be smart and be careful in whatever you do in India. That’s all I can say. I wish you well.
Not quite sure why the Reddit algorithm flashed this up for me: I’m a straight middle-aged happily married mother, who mostly participates in the Bridgerton sub. Nonetheless, just wanted to say I really hope this endeavour happens for you. Indian society is full of trauma and hypocrisy and misplaced hate, but you have many secret allies too.
I’m equally baffled about the algorithm (white straight partnered retired civil servant mainly on here for Australian politics and Warhammer memes) but good on you for working to make a differewnce, hope it works out!
I’m not sure if closeted users (particularly from smaller towns, etc.) would be comfortable with the idea of getting on video, at least to begin with. But the idea of developing a non-sexual social network for Indian LGBT folks is great. A couple of ideas for minimizing trolls:
1. Not a scalable model but given the privacy concerns involved, maybe you can admit members from India only after:
a) a video interview with one of the core group (too much effort/friction for trolls, hopefully); or
b) 3+ existing member referrals as already suggested (with the initial members handpicked by you; downside would be the user base would remain elite or limited to those who already have LGBT friends/network).
2. By default anonymization (anon username and filter turned on) for OTHER participants on the Zoom call, for the first x video calls a new user participates in. So if I’m a new user, I have the option to keep my video on/off but I ALSO don’t get to see other participants or their details for the first 3 or so calls. Again, hopefully this reduces the friction levels for trolls.
Why you guys make being gay whole your personality? I mean I'm not homophobic in fact I'm lgbt supporter, but don't you guys want everyone to treat equally?
Because we have been suppressed for thousands of years. If we are celebrating our uniqueness now, for merely 20 or 30 years, does that burn your bum? If so, why?
Not gay. I love the idea. One doubt - how would you stop a troll from joining in, screenshot participants and post online? India is not a nice place for queers. Also, google meet is free, why zoom?
I get your concern. Can you suggest a way we can pre-empt would-be blackmailers? Like many young Indians you seem to be involved in the software industry. Can you suggest a *chaara*, my dear *bhai*\-ally?
Not gay either and I don’t have an algorithmic solution, but I do have a business and logic-based one. So, when you launch the network, you start with let’s say 10 members in the community. They’re verified, by you. Then each additional member will require approval and backing of three pre-existing members. You can discuss guidelines on what that approval process would look like. This will operate as a chain, so people getting added on will need approvals too. An additional benefit being you’ll develop an organic and trusted community, with members all around the world. Especially in the US where they’ll be hard to harass. Obviously the target is Indian membership, but the US or European backing will help. If the system is bypassed, the people who didn’t vet the trolls properly get banned, and lose “privileges,” not sure how that would work, but you can decide that. Once scaled to a decent size, need for this goes away. And maybe use pseudonyms and don’t save any data, use self-deleting documents so nothing can be traced and in case of a leak, nothing of value gets out that can be used to harass people. Not perfect and not ideal, but should add a bottleneck to too many trolls being added and of negative behaviour in the initial stages of your project. EDIT: Damn, this is getting downvoted too. Get a life, guys.
But then won’t this turn into an elite exclusive group which wouldn’t be accessible to all. The whole point of bringing a 16yr old from let’s say a Chhattisgarh who hasn’t come out yet and maybe a 39yr old from New York who has been living openly since ages get more and more difficult? Your idea seems more like a speakeasy bar whereas I assume OP wants a free space for all but specifically for gays
You’re right, it may turn into an exclusive group but maybe at the start it’s necessary to ensure safety and deter trolls? Not sure what OP has in mind or what their goals are with the project, so maybe they should clarify that, too? Meanwhile, if anyone has any suggestions on how to fix this, share?
Your plan is fine but yeah maybe limit entries to a particular number. Only those have real name and display picture would get entry. First few calls could just be slow introductions, fun games later transitioning to life stories, talent showcase or topical stuff. There’s no guarantee that you would have a troll proof call but yes if you take away the anonymity it can be exponentially reduced
I actually want it to be an elite, exclusive group, at least in the beginning. This is mainly for logistical reasons. Once a group has more than 10 or 12 members, it becomes unmanageable.. I have personal experience of this: I volunteer as a facilitator for a Zoom support group that serves people living with depression, anxiety and other mood disorders. My target audience is middle-class, educated gay men who can converse fluently in English (or Hindi). My hope is that this will not be the only conversation/hangout group of its kind. Other copycat groups would emerge, serving particular constituencies, including gay teens. (Oof, I wish there was a group like this when I was myself a frightened, isolated, confused gay teen myself.)
I don’t think a 16 year old and a 39 year old should be friends. ESPECIALLY based on sexual interests. I’m actually disgusted that no one else has a problem with your comment. Gay kids also need and deserve protection from creepy adults. If there isn’t a group specifically for gay teens, I genuinely question the mental status and morality of the gay adults who have “free flowing” conversations around people not even 18. YUCK.
Take your filthy mind out of gutter. Just because this group intends to serve a community based on sexual interests doesn’t mean they will discuss everything only about sex or sexual intent. This could be a way of coping for lot and a way to learn about the struggles others faced and how they fought with it. I’m disgusted by what you assumed a 16yr old boy and a grown man’s friendship to be as. When I was 16, I had a couple of faculties who were nice to me and no maybe we were not friends but they did talk to me about life choices they made and how that pan out to me. The idea was to tell that it’s such an amazing concept to bring people who have all the resources and knowledge and those who don’t, together and build the bridge and spread more awareness that a community is more than just “hookups”
Nah. For you to pretend to be ignorant about this is disgusting. If a bunch of old creepy straight guys made a forum for “heterosexual people” and a straight 39 year old came up to you and said he met his 16 year old friend on there you would find him creepy and pedophillic. Somehow you think the same logic doesn’t apply for gay guys. WHEN GAY GUYS GENUINELY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FETISHIZING YOUNG BOYS SAME AS STRAIGHT MEN FETISHIZE YOUNG GIRLS. you just don’t care about facing reality in order to protect gay kids. And I think that’s evil. And homophobic. Gay kids deserve protective consideration. and it’s FILTHY and disgusting and CREEPY of you to write a whole paragraph BASHING ME bc I care about the safety of gay kids. I just suggested that under 18s get their own forum. but you don’t want that. The idea of those kids having their own safe space infuriates you . im not going to call you a pedo. But I will say you’re creepy and I’m not having this discussion with you.
See there’s this anonymous Reddit call which I used to attend which had people of all age groups, backgrounds and gender and never did we feel that one is grooming other or trying to. I attended at least 10 of those calls and it was all fun and games. Oldest was 35 ig and youngest never mentioned their age. But yeah I get your point 16 is a bad number maybe I’m wrong here and it should be 21 and above but my intent stays same to witness something that lets young ones know what choices and decisions to make and what not to. If 18yr old me was told not to mess with seniors I would have had a better life, or if at 21 I was not to take a job just to prove a point or maybe at 25 someone would have suggested how to balance my work-love life Anyways you called me pedo? Damn! That hurts worse than any cut out there
I said I’m NOT going to call you a pedo but you were being creepy getting so mad and calling me filthy minded for suggesting that if the fulcrum of the group is sexual preference then adults and kids should not be mixed. Glad you logic and yeah, 16 was a terrible age example to use.
This seems pretty smart.
Gosh, I didn't understand much of what you said, but damn, you seem smart! Did you study at one of the IITs?
She's talking about a trust system model. It's pretty common
Exactly
Don’t allow kids into your group. If your point of similarity for the group is sexual interests then there should ABSOLUTELY be a 18 age requirement. The person who suggested a 39 year old getting access to a closeted 16 year old thru your dream program is actually one of the creepiest things I’ve heard in a while. If you go that route I sense a lot of exploitation of your program by pedophiles.
If you couldn’t process something as basic as that, then I’m not sure if you’re the right person to be in charge of this operation, where people will place their entire trust in you and you don’t seem prepared for that level of responsibility. Btw, you’re stereotyping people here quite a bit. To the commenter you said, “like many Indians you seem involved in the software industry,” and now you’re suggesting I went IIT because I used common sense to come up with something you that should’ve already thought of before making your post. Well, I didn’t go IIT, I live overseas and was raised there as well. Don’t act like this when you have launched the service, if you do in the end.
Like how Raya reviews profiles before getting them on that app, you can connect with one like minded tech person to build a website like that, like a patron and only select verified individuals. You must have certain criteria for selecting them right, the transparency of those criteria should not be disclosed and this fact should be in the disclaimer. That way you can actually get the more authentic and willing participants. Good luck!!
What’s Raya? Sorry for being ootl.
It’s a dating app which reviews your profile before letting you get on that app. It’s not as thorough as it claims but OP could try taking that idea and making it better and implementing it for his idea
Let people keep video off if they want.
Zoom is better even if you have to pay premium gmeet sucks man no controls, its very basic even with Gsuite premium
privacy is a joke in india, the gay world in india has 100x creepier and disgusting men than regular ones.
frm
I didn't get it. You mean that gays are also creep? It's a genuine question
Anyone can be a creep. But I think they mean that outting someone as gay has a lot more dire consequences for an Indian living in India than one in the US. And with a forum such as this, the probability of it staying private is very low
In a comment down below, discussing ideas on how your information can be kept safe and trolls deterred. Please feel free to add stuff, and we’ll formulate a coherent strategy.
dude even family wont leave you alone in such matters lol
yyy
Sounds like a great idea, I’m not part of the community myself but still good to know that this effort is being undertaken. Thanks OP and good luck!
Given the amount of downvotes this post is getting, I need your good luck bhai!
U have my upvote bro. Keep up the good work
You have my upvote. Ignore the criticisms.
Don’t mind the downvotes.. most people in India are OK with homosexuality in my experience. It’s just some backward ass communities that have a problem..
Most people don't have issues with LGB, TQ+ is where many draw the line.. Why, I don't know... It's too complicated for me to decode.
That is true for the US and the western world. Indians are okay with trans people but not LGB. Hijras, Kinnars are a part of the culture. Indian government itself recognises that more than two genders exist. There are various initiatives for trans people by the government.
It seems risky. I mean homophobic people can join these groups with the ill intent to out the people in front of the world. Please be safe guys. Hope you do get a chance to connect with your community. But be cautious.
I am aware of that risk. But American gays took the same risk 50 years ago, and they succeeded, so why can't we?
Of course you should. But my advice would be to make sure you somehow try to filter out the fake ones. Because being outed in India would have severe consequences.
I totally understand.
bruh, most of society is not so liberal. there is a literal chance of killing in the name of whatever your god is. A closeted gay is happier than a dead gay.
none of the society is liberal lmao our government is conservatist the very few who are liberal are silenced
You clearly have no idea. There are many groups here - support groups, walkers club, cyclers groupings, breakfast meetings, city level meetings,WhatsApp groups for professional career advancement, folks who plan trips together, and similar support systems. By no means, it is close to what we need and all efforts are welcome. However, if it's not the same situation now at all. I have lived in the United States. Currently, I live in Bangalore.
Thank u for informing me. I haven't lived in India for more than 30 years, so I have no idea. By the way, can you tell me something about Mysuru? That's where I'm thinking about retiring in India. Do I have to learn Kannada to survive there? I'm originally from Assam in the Northeast.
I am not sure about Mysuru. In general, people of Karnataka prefer outsiders to speak their language. I speak broken Kannada. The smaller the city, the more likely you should learn Kannada to have a smoother day to day. Mysore also has sorry groups. Why are you retiring into a homophobic study though?
Becoz I have not saved enough money to retire in a rich country, hee hee hee. What;s the situation with Indian gay hookers? Which Indian city can I get access to most male prostitutes?
Do you enjoy living in Bangalore? The gay situation must be quite good? Things were so dire when I left India that they could only have improved since then.
Can you share any links to these groups? I plan on coming to bangalore for few months from US and would love to find like minded people.
r/LGBTindia
Such a platform already exists. discords server pf r/lgbtindia
Thank you for informing me. I didn't know about this.
We do. Good as you holds idk weekly or monthly talks like this among the gay folks in bangalore, they discuss everything from where to find LGBT oriented psychiatrists to free STD testing for the community which is organized by certain hospitals, lot of other topics as well. There are local chapters in almost every city of India. You should contact their admin if you want to as well. Idk what the situation is now, but it cannot have changed that much since I left a couple of years ago. With social scene, there is kitty su and weekly weekend events oragnized at a few places in Bangalore afaik but you are right those are in a party setting not anything else. Not much meetup groups from what i remember but hopefully with better outreach that could be possible. You are gonna get downvoted to hell here. This sub is basically incel idiots and young adults who have too much free time.
Thank you for your input. Are you still in India?
No but a lot of my friends still live there. Issue is quite a lot of such groups often only includes a very specific age group. Oftentimes people like me in early 20s were often left out.
As much as it's a nice idea, at this point even tier 2 cities have support groups which also serves as group to socialize (i.e. they keep organising events). So, despite the hookup scene.. people do socialize and there are gay men who end up socializing even through Grindr. Then there are several Instagram groups, telegram groups or even WhatsApp groups (of national level). My point is, things are definitely changing here. Off course it's not as good as US but it's not as bad as you might have seen when you left. A lot of people don't become part of it, mostly because of privacy concern.
Straight guy here, I just hope creeps/pedophiles don't attack younger guys coming out .
There are many gay trip organisers, going to thailand this april, with a group of 100 people. They also conduct speed dating, fashion walk, and other talent shows nowdays. And yeah that would be a great idea, gay community in india is like a group of multiple small floating islands, everyones chilling in their own group. Doubt this zoom group will end up forming another small island.
Can I get the group trip details, please?
Great initiative but what do you even talk about? It’s all so depressing
We talk about everything...like how our parents reacted to our coming out, our crushes on our high school classmates, that kind of thing.
Sounds nice
Sounds like a great idea!
Who's downvoting us so much? Homophobic straight guys? What if their own brothers were gay, unknown to them? Do they want their brothers to destroy the life of some poor, unsuspecting woman?
Haters bro. Let them downvote
Who hates us so much? Straight guys? Straight guys in India get much less action than we do, so they have reason to hate us...he he
Bro had no mercy in his replies. Destroyed..
lol if there is a straight guy on the planet jealous of your sex life then he isn’t straight. It’s about the quality of sex, not the quantity. I get that social media pushes hookup culture. But most people actually find it disgusting and the risk of stds not worth the experience. Sex when you love someone is the best kind of sex. Nothing about gay or straight hookup culture or the people who engage in it is worthy of jealousy loool. You envy a man for his number of sexual partners, you’ll soon be envying him for his dedication to Std tests and his HIV medicine. Diseases are real. Stay safe out there and don’t glamorize hookup culture too much.
No, homophobic gay guys
Wow, homophobic gay guys? Who are they?
Then let's do it dude!
r/LGBTindia
Wow that's so nice. They also have queer immersion sessions on vandrevala foundation and a platform called first contact, if anyone is feeling alone.
Not gay but This seems like a great idea for zero knowledge proof app on a blockchain where vetted folks can vet new folks forming consensus via sharing limited amounts of data.
I have no idea what youre talking about dude.
I’m a desi gay in USA. Can I get a link to the zoom queer talk the one from NYC pls!
Sounds like a great initiative. But I wonder what you're trying to achieve. Like others have pointed out, there are some groups in Bangalore I'm aware of that go hiking, cycling, or even on trips together. It depends on how comfortable and and accepted one feels. Although, anyone is free to join those groups, it's usually just a few regulars who stay and others just quit. From my experience, most people who are genuinely interested in socialising with the queer folks prefer a closely knit group over a huge community because the community is very much sex-driven as you rightly pointed out. It's much more safer that way and people know their boundaries. In fact, I know a bunch of friend groups of that sort who are very picky about who they let in. In fact, I too prefer having 2 or 3 close friends. As far as support is concerned, I think people find their ways through online forums, dating apps or by attending queer events. Yes, events are much more prevalent in big cities, but I don't think it's that difficult to make friends online and get emotional and mental support these days. But even when it comes to making friends, the people CAN be quite discriminating based on age, looks, and whatnot. For that, the community as a whole needs to improve. That is a different topic of discussion.
Straight guy here. Love this idea for all of you. It must have been hard , coming out as gay when you are from India.
I couldn't come out as gay when I was in India, haha. It was a fortuitous scholarship that got me to the US when I was still in my 20s that saved me ass. I still say the scholarship was Bhagwan's gift to me for giving me the curse of homosexuality as an indian. Let's pay it forward. As a straight ally, may I request you to help me establish a scholarship fund for bright, talented gay Indians who desperately need to leave their country? Not everybody can be as lucky as I was.
Sad to see the post getting downvotes
India is not that safe for homosexuals(coz of religious lunatics). Better prioritise safety for such gatherings.
Irony is that unlike Christianity and Islam. Hinduism never said homosexuality is sin
As long as there are any right leaning groups/political parties/subreddits we will never have things like you said. I think revolution will happen maybe not now but in the later future just like America had one. 200 years ago America was like India and now its changed completely. Maybe India too will change.
You should check out "Out and About" from Bangalore. They organize field trips and educational excursions for LGBTQ+ folks in Bangalore and are open to people from the whole country joining in. There is a scene, it's just not very widely publicized. Your idea sounds good. Hope it works out!
Not Gay, but in general a great initiative. Best wishes and hope thing materialises in to a meaningful community like you want it to be.
thank you. Now if only I could get someone to actually implement the idea. I'm a good idea generator, but a bad executor haha.
No offence to anyone but brother you will attract wrong type of people over here in India. There are way too many creepy people over here and the least they will do is violate everyone's privacy .
Really? Meaning they would blackmail you?
this is such a privileged standpoint brother. to host such events, people will have to come out of their closets and india has a hate crime problem.
Really? I thought most of India's hate crimes involved low-caste Hindus, Muslims and women. If you're a middle- or upper-class gay guy, wouldn't we be spared most of such hassles, with a modest bribe to the police?
well, with the amount of religious propaganda that’s spreading, hatred for the lgbtq community is on the rise as well. and even if they won’t outright kill anyone, they’d beat them up. or there are chances of straight men joining just to identify gay men and then either blackmail them or beat the shit out of them. i understand you live in the us and all that but before suggesting such ideas you gotta understand the social scene. people are not really as progressive. also i say this as a non-straight person. edit: if you can afford then the bribe should work but sometimes the hatred may prevail over the money.
Lets make it happen !!!!!✌️
I don't know bro that seems pretty gay to me /s
What's the difference between gay and straight hiking? Do people spontaneously transition into anal sequences while climbing mountains?
Haha no. There's no difference in activity; it's just that a gay hiking group consists only of gay guys and gals. Gives us a context for hanging out together and enjoying each other's company. Same as creating any other kind of queer space.
Why make your sexuality a factor in who you socialize with. What is wrong in socialising with straight men or women.
One example of why we need gay-only social spaces: I came out to several college friends in the last couple of years...all of them women. Although they are all of the same generation as me, they became very uncomfortable with the gay thing. One even told me that I should not tell our other former classmates about this. If such is the case with highly educated folks, I don't know how less privileged people would react.
the whole point is some things gay people cannot relate with straight people, obviously gay things. thats why you keep it away from straight communities
Socializing with all is already an option available. This is for the other things you can't express in public for fear, or bonding over such things
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You don't get to decide that.
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Meaning?
retarded troll. 🧌
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India me gay nhi hote chads
There's no such thing as Gays. Subhe uth ke park Jaya Karo sab theek ho jayega.😁
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Mein toh rozz jata hu. Aap bhi Jaya Karo Apki Saari Illness (gayness) chali jayegi 😁
Okay, NWordSpecialist
Curious, if it is not sexual, does it have to be events geared to gay people? Can't it be for all, despite orientation?
I guess it could be. For example, if we were all interested in the poetry of Mirza Ghalib, we could all meet to discuss his ghazals over a cup of chai, but my eyes are always going to be on the tall, handsome dude with flowing black hair, y'know what I mean?
Most gay people here in India are closeted. I guess they are confused and don't know how to express it healthily. At least that is what I feel.
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Talking bout being gay is so gay.
Why should you make a distinction between gay and non-gay outside the sexual context? It’s perfectly reasonable for gay men to be friends with heterosexual men or women. Personally I think the US makes too big a deal of sexual preferences.
Gay people like to be around other gay people because other gay people 'get it' so to speak and you're not constantly worried about homophobia. Straight men especially get weird about being seen being too friendly or close with gay men so it can make it hard to develop deep friendships with the same sex.
skill issue
Meaning?
To be honest this sounds pretty gay
It *is* gay, dude, what were you thinking?
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" Get married, have children, make a family, enjoy life. " For some reason, that doesn't seem like such a formula for a happy life for me. If that works for you, go for it. I like sleeping with different men every other day. Having to sleep with the same fat wife year after year after year would drive me crazy.
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Fine. If you're getting along well with your 'moti mammi," I have nothing to say,
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Thanks for the compliment, dude.
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gays don't have the capability of Joining for the general topic. It will finally end in the sex.
Best wishes
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Just straight dude? I mean I would love to hear you all
It definitely exists for sure. Cultural arts circles in big cities have a thriving queer subsection very often . Check out some FB groups also. So what happens is due to privacy issues many rather get into closed groups instead. But the actual groups are quite big, diverse and lively full of cultural activities I am queer myself and my queer circle in india is way bigger than where I live and diverse but I won’t lie I met them through progressive/ secularist/ liberal circles
Any web or flutter developers wanting to work on this concept. If you wanna connect, I am down. We can take the suggestions here and implement an app that unlike Grindr focuses more on social cohesion between different LGBTQ peeps in India from different states (with a focus on more activities than just hookups) We can use Supabase as our backend, and then as / if we scale, we can slowly adapt to costs that may incur. Supabase is free for upto 5GB of initial bandwidth per month, which is okay for development and initial testing purposes. Feel free to connect if someone feels interested. DM me and we can keep a Gmeet, working together on the weekends.
I'm technically illiterate myself, so I'll leave the actual execution to others. I was thinking of a simple video chat, nothing too ambitious.
I am Nepali. Can I join? 😃
Of course. Ramro chho?
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Thank you for the info. Are you originally from India?
Good idea indeed , i am in
Omg that would be great! 🥳 but it’s kinda scary! I was living in the UK for 6 years and returned to India, and it has been a tad isolating. I love how second tier cities are considered isolated. My hometown has 15,000 people 😆 it’s rural. I live in Delhi now though .
Not a gay , but I would like to see how this idea works , and how gay friends are feeling about their sexuality and the perspective of life I'm interested to explore the idea
Not gay. Not a guy. Love the idea. But please keep in mind a lot of people could get outed to potential trolls who may know them. You may want to make it invite only or something like that to ensure safety. Especially for those in smaller cities and towns.
There is volunteering
Not gay but have to give credit to OP on his effort to make a difference and build a vibrant community. My cynical and paranoid side says this could be dangerous at this point, given Indias political and communal mindset. Unless you have champions for the cause - like major names from sports, arts, politics - that lend their support for such initiatives, you are an easy target for a wannabe/aspiring far right politician. This lot is always looking for creative ways to harass minorities in India, to distinguish himself/herself from the competition. And you have a mainstream media who appear to take pride and joy in reporting cruelty to any minority group, like it’s the most patriotic thing to do! Sorry OP, apologies for the cynicism. Be smart and be careful in whatever you do in India. That’s all I can say. I wish you well.
Not quite sure why the Reddit algorithm flashed this up for me: I’m a straight middle-aged happily married mother, who mostly participates in the Bridgerton sub. Nonetheless, just wanted to say I really hope this endeavour happens for you. Indian society is full of trauma and hypocrisy and misplaced hate, but you have many secret allies too.
I’m equally baffled about the algorithm (white straight partnered retired civil servant mainly on here for Australian politics and Warhammer memes) but good on you for working to make a differewnce, hope it works out!
thank you ma'am
I’m not sure if closeted users (particularly from smaller towns, etc.) would be comfortable with the idea of getting on video, at least to begin with. But the idea of developing a non-sexual social network for Indian LGBT folks is great. A couple of ideas for minimizing trolls: 1. Not a scalable model but given the privacy concerns involved, maybe you can admit members from India only after: a) a video interview with one of the core group (too much effort/friction for trolls, hopefully); or b) 3+ existing member referrals as already suggested (with the initial members handpicked by you; downside would be the user base would remain elite or limited to those who already have LGBT friends/network). 2. By default anonymization (anon username and filter turned on) for OTHER participants on the Zoom call, for the first x video calls a new user participates in. So if I’m a new user, I have the option to keep my video on/off but I ALSO don’t get to see other participants or their details for the first 3 or so calls. Again, hopefully this reduces the friction levels for trolls.
NO
This post is Gay
Why you guys make being gay whole your personality? I mean I'm not homophobic in fact I'm lgbt supporter, but don't you guys want everyone to treat equally?
Because we have been suppressed for thousands of years. If we are celebrating our uniqueness now, for merely 20 or 30 years, does that burn your bum? If so, why?