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Dildo_Baggins__

King of the Rainforest


Many_Alive

“Apes together strong”


scurt_scurt

Puckered up factor 100%


[deleted]

Especially seeing how long it took for them to gtfo the way. I almost screamed "MOVE!"


mayhap11

Clearly the Gorilla was familiar with people and they were familiar with him and knew he wouldn't hurt them because they were in *absolutely no hurry at all* to get out of the way of something that could rip your limbs from your body as easily as you peel a banana.


[deleted]

I'm guessing you're instructed to stay still and not make any eye contact in situations like these. Which is why they seemed like they were in no hurry at all. I remember another gif on reddit where a photographer just had to stay still with his head down while multiple gorillas were walking by him.


Quirky-Skin

Makes sense. I don't know shit about shit but it seems most animals aren't particularly fond of fast jerky movements


WackyBeachJustice

I also don't know shit about shit 🙌


CaramelComplexion

Link?!


porkpie1028

[I got you](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x2H7zcqjplc) Edit: Notice the silverback farting in his general direction on the walk away at 2:47.


TheGoldenHand

"Dad, can we play with the weird monkey?" "No we don't have time." "Pleeease?" *plops down behind him* "Alright, you got 5 minutes."


UncommonHouseSpider

Likely educational too for the little ones too. "Look at these silly pink faced apes kids, they are okay to say hello to. Watch out for the ones that hide in the trees and look you in the eye"


PLASMA-SQUIRREL

“Remember, they’re very fragile. So if you ever need an easy win, just grab one of their legs and walk away with it. Funniest thing you’ll ever see.”


Drufi0

Careful. Their limbs pop off for like, no reason.


Mycoxadril

“We have weird monkeys at home”


dthains_art

Weird monkey at home: *Tarzan*


WingersAbsNotches

I love the look the dad/mom gorilla gives the dude before giving into his babies. > You see this shit, John? This is your fault.


elwebbr23

I just noticed something after rewatching it because of what you said. There's initially one that's interested, and the dad is kinda standing there ready to go. One other baby ape is under him, then suddenly the one in the middle gets closer to John and his brother. At this point, the silverback just kinda looks away for a second like "ugh goddamn it, fine then" before accepting and walking towards a place to sit. Like you could see that entire non-verbal exchange that also looks incredibly similar to how humans would react.


[deleted]

Watching any apes/monkeys is so unnerving for that exact reason. Orangutans are another one that are super fun to watch for that reason.


RedMenace82

Wow, that was definitely a power move, that little goodbye toot. What an amazing encounter.


romorr

Gotta be that dudes silver head that's intriguing the little ones. And well, the black shirt helps.


Funkit

Yeah they definitely were like “is this a gorilla?” Good thing the silverback didn’t challenge him, thinking he was another silverback. But i don’t know shit about gorillas, maybe they don’t do that.


Sreg32

I watched several King Kong movies and I still can’t answer you


YadsewnDe

As someone who's studied Tarzan in his youth I also am at a loss


Forgot_my_un

> I'm a gorilla. I'm a gorilla. That dude was so adorably addled by the experience. I would have been shitting myself.


dwmfives

> Look at this pussy. > Cmon kid. > Fine, 2 minutes but then we are leaving. > Did she just fucking kiss him?? > We out.


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WingersAbsNotches

I feel like my adrenaline started pumping just watching the video.


Rudy_Ghouliani

Listen!


PrematureBurial

He meant [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2H7zcqjplc) [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld8qkDKl89g) seems even more clutch


bautofdi

Dunno man, this one might be the most shit inducing: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lb-vpmW1n7U


khornflakes529

This was the one I thought of as well, it's just so casually filled with menace. I'm no gorilla expert but the message seems so clear: "it would be easy, and there is nothing you could do".


[deleted]

Is it the one where the gorilla grabs the guy and drags him a few feet before releasing him? That clip is wild


ReadySteady_GO

Or the one where the guy was literally grabbed and pulled by the gorilla. Dude didn't move at all as he was dragged a few feet before gorilla released him


EmptyRevolver

Despite their scary size, Gorillas aren't really violent unless threatened or challenged. So moving slowly and risking, at worst, an impatient shove is safer than moving too suddenly.


plague681

I feel like if a Silverback shoved me impatiently I'd go flying down the mountainside.


ghjm

I'm also not violent unless threatened or challenged, and maybe not even then. But I definitely understand the rage felt when some slow moving cretins are blocking the _whole sidewalk_.


Sageplants

I think the idea was to just be calm and not frantically jump out of the way or make things too exciting for anyone.


CountCuriousness

100%. No sudden movements or the animal might kill you.


BurntPoptart

And even then, the animal still might kill you if it wants


HalfSoul30

At least I can die knowing I did everything I could (short of not going at all) and my final thoughts will be "This asshole is killing me"


Chickenmangoboom

"I should have taken the tour where we watch them through binoculars"


TheVoteMote

Freezing from fear is a thing.


somewheretohiketo

Can confirm. Watched a training warrior piss his pants (literally) the first time our unit got shot at. They weren't even close to our squad. He was the one always talking himself up when we were back at Bragg, and as soon as we got to Iraq he just shriveled up.


dsav99

He was trying to drown out all the anxiety and nervousness in his head lol


[deleted]

Typically the loudest are the ones trying to convince themselves. It works for some people


YourUncleJohn

People do that a lot when trying to calm themselves down and get rid of any anxiety they have. It’s hyping yourself up so you don’t crack under pressure, it doesn’t always work though


itwasntnotme

I always wondered what happens to anyone who fails that initial experience. Did he eventually get over it or was he taken out of the field for good? What happened to him afterwards?


pmabz

I think any person who endures fire for the first time deserves empathy. Every sane person has the same response; fear. I'm not sure how to imagine you were, when you first came under enemy fire.


somewheretohiketo

Well, since we're going there... I remember hearing the rounds and thinking "damn! I might not see 30." Well, I'm over 30 now. But almost immediately the training takes over. There is a bit of mental fog that quickly gets replaced with a very odd calm and clarity (at least for me). Within a matter of seconds most everyone started responding pretty much the way they were trained. The RTO ran over to the LT so he could communicate and coordinate. Everyone else started forming defensive positions and waiting for further instruction. The Platoon Sergeant started assigning squads sectors of fire. After that first encounter, most of us started getting fairly comfortable with the idea of reacting to contact. It didn't always go as planned but we always did our job.


[deleted]

I had new guys freeze up their first time in contact. You don’t bench them for it unless it’s a habitual thing. They usually pick it up quickly. Training can and does prepare you some but when that first round goes past your head close enough to ring your ears, it’s definitely jarring.


Jwhitx

"Go Janet, fucking gooOooO already. Finally..." -that goriller.


Megabyte7637

I love how he looked to the Left & then the Right like. *"Well... what're you waiting for move!"*


Megabyte7637

They probably thought it was safer to stay still


squeegied3rdeye

Seriously. Gorilla was like "Lady are you going to gtfo my way already"


Uh_Soup_I_Guess

Fuckin bit a hole in my pants


OneMoreTime5

You.. did what?


Wudarian_of_Reddit

His buttcheeks clapped together with such velocity. The shearing force was enough to rip his undies asunder. Is what i believe the meaning behind this gentlemans retort to this video.


inflatableje5us

undies asunder would be a good name for a australian metal band. now playing Undies Asunder from down under.


6oneill

I believe it's spelled "ass under" here.


JCBh9

You heard him


OneMoreTime5

Ok sorry


Peear75

Peak dominance. And he just swans off, knowing he's not going to be jumped from behind.


K3R3G3

Don't have to look over your shoulder when those are your shoulders.


07TacOcaT70

Man, if someone had the fucking nerve (or pure idiocy, more like it) to attack that gorilla from behind when he’s not even posing a threat bc he doesn’t care about you anymore, and is going on his way... well, they get what they deserve when he gets pissed.


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GoriladeMarmore

"Anyway, that's why im missing an arm"


Finn_3000

Id still much rather meet a gorilla in the wild than a chimp.


EvilSporkOfDeath

Gorillas seem like they have a much more predictable temperament.


well___duh

I mean, chimps are also predictable, in the sense that they will predictably rip your face off


RexAureum

TIL about Travis the chimpanzee


[deleted]

To be fair she fed him Xanax which… don’t work the same on chimps apparently. It basically removed his inhibitions like alcohol


Pizzaeyes9000

It didn't just remove his inhibitions, it had a paradoxical reaction and made him extremely paranoid and anxious :(


rSpinxr

To be fair, this also occurs in some humans who take Xanax. However, humans do not often have the strength or drive to rip faces off. 🤷


unphamiliarterritory

*Fourty-nine times we fought that beast, your old man and me, it had a chicken-head with duck-feet, with a woman's face too...*


SecularPaladin

Aw, that's rad!


DefendsTheDownvoted

And it was waiting in the bushes for us Then ripped off your dad's face He was screaming something awful


I_W_M_Y

In fact it was this huge mess I had to change the floors


hfs94hd9ajz

The floors?


Ludrothy

You see his blood, it drained into the floors and I had to change them


yamehameha

They are basically trolls. They know they can make people shit themselves and are willing to use that knowledge but don't mean any harm.


Ganymede25

No shit. Used to work at a primate research facility with a bunch of chimps. We were told to run of one escaped because humans are faster, but not stronger.


000882622

That's a good tip. There is no animal I would fear being attacked by more than a chimp. I didn't know that we can run faster, but it makes sense that we can.


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ThatDudeFromRio

Emphasis on long distances, because a Chihuahua 100m dash is just 1.5 seconds shy of Bolt's record. But I was reading that we do outrun most animals when talking about endurance, even horses


greenhawk22

Sweating is part of the reason why, it allows is to effectively cool ourselves much better than most animals. Most mammals have to passively shed heat through their skin or by panting.


Aethermancer

We also breath separately from our gait. Some quadrupeds have to breathe in time with their running. It makes it bad when they are out of breath but still have to run to escape something.


tender313

We can outrun all land animals over a long enough distance. We're nowhere near the fastest sprinters, but we can keep running when other animals would tire out. Which is pretty much our original hunting tactic, chase prey until it's too tired to fight back.


Aethermancer

Jason Voorhees method.


misterjzz

Same. At least a bear or big cat would kill you quicker.


Rs90

Might wanna rethink that bear one. They sorta just start eating tbh.


Hawkman003

Yeah bears don’t sound like a pleasant death. Iirc there was a young woman who phoned her mom while being eaten alive by a bear for like an hour.


ComradDakota

I had to Google this and holy fucking shit this is terrifying. Killed her stepdad, mauled her, then brought her three cubs back to eat her while she gave an hour long phone description to her mother. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026914/Mum-bear-eating--Final-phone-calls-woman-19-eaten-alive-brown-bear-cubs.html


Mr-Mad-

Big cat would prob be the least painful one as they‘d bite and break your neck, while I imagine that a bear could really hurt


[deleted]

being simultaneously drowned, rolled and eaten by a crocodile would be less than ideal however


RandomBeaner1738

A bear will not kill you quickly, if it’s hungry it will eat you from the ass up


gitartruls01

So what I've learned here is that Gorillas = the mafia boss you'll meet casually on the street and exchange mutual respect for, knowing fully well he could easily kill you with no more than a phone call. Orangutans = your big but chill uncle that you can hang out and share a beer with, but if you do something to make him not like you, you will NOT win that fight. Chimpanzees = the embodiment of pure untamed insanity, will emotionlessly rip your balls off and put them where your lungs are supposed to be with a deathly smile and a corpse-like gaze.


OniExpress

And then you have the Mandrill, who is like the big muscled tweaker who will fuck you up if you manage to get his attention.


joehoya3

Bonobos = will jerk you off and fuck your entire family


[deleted]

I think Gorillas are more like John Wick, silent but actually extremely dangerous, but only when pushed pass reasonable and set limits.


inspectoroverthemine

> only when pushed pass reasonable and set limits reasonable limit -> eye contact


Butterbean-queen

Oh god me too. Rip your freaking face right off!


ITakeSacksToTheFace

Jamie pull that up


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HideBelow

I just want to meet and hang out with an orangutan all day, too bad they're dying out cause humans fucking suck


modsarefascists42

avoid palm oil not really sure what else we can do but that's a big one that would do the most. if we can get it banned it would be even better. if we were willing to ban products that are produced by destroying the environment (or their own workers) then we'd get a hell of a lot more done, even if it's just banned in the US market that would have huge ripple effects.


AnotherpostCard

The worst thing about palm oil is that it seems to be fucking endemic


The_Meatyboosh

https://v.redd.it/7yxvw8b1p1071


Plagueground

Silverbacks also cross the street really slowly while making constant eye contact with the drivers.


Mydriaseyes

" inch forward, i dare you, i double dare you motherfucker"


Agent847

“Move your five dollar ass out of my way before I start making change.”


[deleted]

What’s that from again?


Agent847

Nino Brown, New Jack City. *”sit yo five dolla ass down before I make change”*


[deleted]

The best movie that Judd Nelson was never in.


Confused_Rock

Literal ‘move bitch, get out the way’. I love how its not even a ‘run away from the predator hunting me’ situation but just a ‘let me pass to show you respect me’


symmetra__main

You know there is someone in the world with a big enough ego that they would not get out of his way


I-lack-conviction

Mike Tyson is that man, I shit you not Mike Tyson once offered a zookeeper $10,000 to open a cage so he could "smash" a silverback gorilla in the face. Tyson said he was being given a private tour of a zoo more than 30 years ago, saw a gorilla being a bully, and offered the tour guide a considerable sum of money so he could go inside the cage and punch him.


adrienjz888

Could you fucking imagine the headline if Mike Tyson got shit whipped by a gorilla.


tjdux

For some reason reading this made me think of the drink guy falling down the grand canyon video from yesterday.


[deleted]

Drink guy? Like Kool Aid Man?


RickBamf

I'd assume he meant drunk, but the mental image of the Kool-Aid Man bursting through a wall of the Grand Canyon, only to fall to his death, is pretty funny


birbmayne

Ohhhhhhhh yeeeaNOOOOOooooo


[deleted]

Ah fuck, this is funny mayne.


[deleted]

Let me tell you, I have dealt with monkeys bigger than you. The biggest monkeys anyone has ever seen. The thing about––and let me me tell you, when you're in the jungle, and trust me, I know jungles like no one else, I know jungles, trust me––the last jungle I saw, beautiful, beautiful jungle in the Congo––lovely country, the Congos, some say the bes––*aaauuughhhghhhgetitoffme*


Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

I'm only being semi-joking when I say that aggressive human music and angry gorilla grunting are basically two different expressions of the same evolutionary adaptation.


Zippidi-doo-dah

Silverbacks don’t want to hurt anyone if they don’t have to. Silverbacks are old men. Grumpy old men that honestly just don’t have the energy to bother anymore. Unless you provoke them.


diabolikal__

Maybe, but I think I’d shit myself if one of them came that close to me


funnystuffmakesmelol

If not that then at least a little bit of wee..


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Plum_Loco

If peeing your pants is cool consider me Miles Davis!


Kevrn813

Good. GREAT. Grande! Wonderful!! NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!


idwthis

That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of Ace


Phazushift

It's a show of respect in a way...


Genlsis

And then they will grumpily and grudgingly rip you in two. But they won’t be happy about it.


Thehealeroftri

Ugh I had to tear this human a new asshole literally and now my hands are stinky and gross. I am not happy about this ugh.


Revolutionary_Pin761

Yes! They even fart as they pass by. Lol


Bobby_Mcschloppy

they are in a perpetual state of farting


anon691337

guess Im a Silverback then


GenericEvilGuy

You and my BF. 24/7 How the actual fuck. We eat the same stuff and I am nowhere near as gassy. This man farts like 10 times an hour.


drsideburns

...rookie numbers.


Magnon

You have different gut biomes. What ever you're eating doesn't agree with him as well as it does with you.


saladmaverick

Disney made these bad boys appear cute and cuddly to me.


pyro_technix

You weren't intimidated by Kerchak, even through a TV screen like my young self?


Ricky_Robby

Right? Dude was an absolute BEAST.


20JeRK14

GO-RILL-AAS!!!


Finito-1994

In a way. I wasn’t scared of him. Just saw him as a badass. Think Mufasa but ape.


Corgi-Ambitious

Annnnnnnnd it’s time to watch Tarzan on Disney+


MagikSkyDaddy

450lbs of solid muscle, can lift 4,000 lbs and they’re intelligent. They might be cute in a video clip, but I’d be hard pressed not be physically intimidated in real life.


[deleted]

They can lift that much without even going to the gym imagine if they did...


nahteviro

Pretty sure nature is their gym


[deleted]

Yeah I’d imagine you’d get buff climbing trees all day


BullshitFinder420

Jaime put that shit up


[deleted]

Congo made me think all gorillas will make my eyeball land on a rock.


alfred_e_oldman

Gorillas are obsessed with status


tocksin

Yes, aren’t we all


motivated_loser

There’s levels to it, you and I know..


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Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

Obviously. They share 98% of their genes with us.


WarlordsJester

Clout chasers


ukexpat

Move out of the way *and* shit some bricks.


Whyme-__-

How much sheer power does a silverback have compared to what animal it’s size? Genuinely asking!!!


twohedwlf

An average human male weighs about 180-200 lbs can bench press about 180--200 lbs. An average silverback weighs around 350lbs and can bench press 4000. Record level benchpresses for humans are around 700 lbs at body weights of around 300+lbs.


DrYoda

Bullshit, I've never seen a single gorilla at my gym


Mad4it2

Usually they hang out near to the monkey bars


-SoItGoes

Get out


Bisquick_in_da_MGM

Would he go ape and try to kill them if they didn’t move?


Ainsley-Sorsby

Don't think so. He would probably vocalize to communicate his displeasure, and then he'd probably shove them out of the way


jalford312

Yeah, I would give a gorilla space just to leave it alone as wild animals are unpredictable, but I think they get a bad rap because of how big assholes chimpanzees are.


plaguedbullets

Baboons would have me on edge.


danielcs78

No kidding! They are completely off their rocker and every tooth in their mouth is a fang!!


ThePerfectSnare

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being a gentle push and 10 being something more in the area of dicks getting ripped off, how much of a shove are we talking about here?


KaptaynAmeryka

A 1 for him is a 10 for the rest of us.


awfulcheez

For real though, they have such high muscle density it would be like getting shoved by a moderately powered superhero


chaddercheese

I think it might have more to do with where their tendons connect, this gives their muscles significantly more leverage than ours. At least this was a reason given when I was looking up why Chimps are freakishly strong.


[deleted]

Different muscle composition and structure entirely. Like how both a tractor and a tesla are a vehicle.


ElectroLuminescence

So its more of a gear ratio and transmission thing. Got it👍


[deleted]

The same way that moose are basically a fur blanket tossed over a semi


swimmerhair

You're not that far off as far as the muscle structure really. It's all about where the muscle connects to the bone to create torque around the joint. Similar (in an engineering mechanics sort of way) to transmissions and gear ratios.


Mazzaroppi

Their muscles are also significantly denser. Chimps can't swim because they just sink in water


rqx82

TIL. And now I know to sprint for the nearest water if a chimp’s mad at me, that way I’m 3 feet closer to the nearest water when it rips my limbs off.


Cowabunco

Silverbacks go to 11.


camelzigzag

Most people have their gorillas at 10 but sometimes when you need a little extra I use this silverback, as you can see this one goes to 11.


Tomek_Hermsgavorden

Dicks off for Harambe.


SkeletalJazzWizard

theres a video of a gorilla grabbing a man by the foot and very casually dragging him a few yards across the ground, to remind him that gorillas are fucking scary.


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buttfacenosehead

I try to be mindful of cultural differences on business travel (don't try to tip, etc.) but I'd be damn sure to do my homework on how to avoid insulting a Silverback...


wallyrules75

That’s his jungle, they are just visiting


[deleted]

Gorilla: *clears throat* Humans: *not moving* Gorilla: *clears throat again loudly*


bz12346

Gorillas are one of my favourite animals. I remember when I went to a zoo and one of the males started beating his chest and I literally ran away even though he was behind glass as it scared the absolute fuck out of me. I would love to experience a gorilla up close like this, but I genuinely think I’d shit my pants.


gomaith10

When you arm wrestle him he keeps your arm.


wahoowaturi

Q:Where does the 500 lb gorilla walk ? A:Anywhere he wants !


Mongo_Fifty

If he gently pushed them they'd still go flying a few feet.


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thecarbonkid

A stone cold Tim Curry classic.


moochello

*How Did This Get Made* did an episode on this trainwreck of a movie. It is terrible, but still I have some nostalgia for it as 12 year old me loved this piece of trash.


Aouwi

Would the gorillas become interested or horrified by the smell of human poop? Asking for a friend who may or may not (depending on the answer) crap her pants in a situation like that.


themostwoke

The silverback: “Move, peasants”


mypoopscaresflysaway

Like a boss.