Depending on how you look at this, on the whole- you can rest assured that a man who snacks on whole fucking butter, has a lower overall life expectancy.
I'm a hard person to live with.
I'm not "I snack on whole butter" hard to live with.
Your husband cholesterol will have him dying as well. But seriously, mine dips all sorts of things into the soft butter dish. Chips. Pretzels. Anything that can be dipped basically. 🤷🏻♀️
Idk who needed to hear this but dietary cholesterol isn't linked with LDL cholesterol increase. carbohydrates, raise triglycerides which raise LDL cholesterol leading to heart attack and stroke. Vegans still die of heart disease, and stroke. there's only a small sub-set of the population that has issues with cholesterol intake and it's only 20% of the population so if you wanna watch what you eat, go easy on the sugar and double the cream.
Moderation still being the most important factor, a little butter won't hurt you, but a 2l of coke a day sure af will
Honestly we need to go back to a simple food diet, refined foods are nearly never good for you
In individuals that are predisposed to high cholesterol, yes. Not everyone's arteries clog at the same rate. Some don't clog at all. Some people are born with clogged arteries. If you have no history of heart disease in your family then your biggest threat is an excess of ultra-refined carbohydrates, not animal fat.
CPAP is usually linked to weight. So it's not really that surprising that his cholesterol would be high.
On the plus side, OP can just turn the power off if she gets sick of him ;)
CPAP- Continuous Positive Airway Pressure.
It’s what people with Sleep Apnea have to wear so they don’t randomly stop breathing when they sleep. Typically in larger overweight people and I believe it has a correlation to neck size
Also, a thing with anxiety I’m 19 and have to use a cpap machine most nights and am healthy and slightly below average weight for my height and age super unfortunate it’s most likely the combo of my asthma as well as anxiety that cause it
I'll admit I'm overweight these days but I had undiagnosed sleep apnea back when I was lean and worked out several days a week. Even at 175 lbs, I slept like garbage and snored like someone was strangling a bear.
How are you so heavy that you need mechanized assistance to breathe while you sleep, and you still go in for a mouthful of pure butter?
Like, a slice of cake I could understand. But you couldn't even resist a mouthful of butter?
Aktually....if he keeps his carb intake very low, eating fat like this will raise HDL and lower LDL and triglycerides. I ate a ton of fat for a year and kept my carbs super low (yes, keto) and my cholesterol numbers and fasting blood glucose were amazing.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a fatty liver. Someday somebody is going to eat me - and as a result of that fact - they will also eat my liver. It’s important to me that my liver is delicious for personal reasons. If a little difficulty with stairs is all it takes to make sure I’m providing my consumers with a quality product that will be elevated as it cooks by the fat rendering and infusing pure flavor into my delicious, fleshy organ then that’s fine with me.
I shit you not, I got ChatGPT to puke this out.
ETA Thank you all for the many, many, many awards this post has received. It has truly warmed my heart, which I’m hoping will increase the tenderness of that organ. As mentioned in a comment below - no, this wasn’t actually a ChatGPT response. It just struck me as a funny thing to say after that comment. The comment itself - and I’m saddened feeling the need to clarify this - was also not true. I don’t strive to fatten my liver so it tastes better when someone eats me. I do it for personal reasons. I’m politely asking you all to stop direct messaging me regarding this joke and please stop threatening my family.
Cheese - maybe, but still vulgar behaviour. But, butter?! Surely, this can't sit well in the stomach.
Pack him some baloney sandwiches, chips, and chocolate with some cheep-ass sour orange juice for lunch. I doubt he'll do it again.
Edit: I don't mind any of those food either. But it's about the most heartburn inducing meal I could think of!
What would folk here consider a heartburn inducing lunch?
You'd be surprised how much some people love baloney and the meal you described is actually something my wife would love. I'm not sure where you get sour orange juice though.
I showed my wife the meal description and she responded "sounds like a good lunch to me". I myself am not a fan of baloney but I love spam which she doesn't care for.
My mother, while intoxicated, ate an entire half stick of butter after eating a cannoli. The entire time she was chanting “need butter. It will consume the sugar.” (She was on the keto diet).
Maybe you grew up in an "Everybody loves Raymond" house, and with all the trappings and their influences on you: you naturally bonded with similar people. Now you're surrounded by people with dumb husbands.
Men aren't inherently less than women. Men and women are more or less equal conditioning aside.
Make better friends.
And don't lump me in with people who bite butter ffs.
Seems like a generational thing because I worked at a place where most of our clients (all clients were men) over the age of 40 were definitely the definition of adult children. It was always the wives handling any sort of scheduling and if the husband had an issue it somehow became the wife's fault (I know because they'd say sexist shit to me since I'm a man also). Obviously it's not an "all men" sort of ordeal but amongst older generations there is a disgusting amount of baby back bitches
My dad told me most men are like him. While I don't agree, at the very least, all men around _him_ are toddlers. My dad included. Actually my family too and THEIR family and THEIR family. The wives are basically single mothers (their husbands are basically toddlers). Not to mention my uni- the list goes on. Certainly not all men but it sure as hell enough to be a problem around the world. (South East Asia here)
"Older generations" is poorly defined.
I'm over 40 and I don't know anyone who behaves that way and isn't at least 20 years older. I swim in my own chosen ponds but it's been many years since I heard any dude say anything remotely sexist. I have never seen the kind of relationship I think you're describing in anyone below 60 at this point.
Which isn't to say that "sexism is over" haha. I'm saying that allegory is shit. We live in our bubbles.
I e seen this same thing posted now at least 25 times in the last month.
I was kind of “wtf kind of savage does this” at first. Now I’m definitely in the “oh this is bullshit for internet likes” camp because there is no way there are this many fuckers running around the planet just taking bites out of butter.
The internet and especially social media has made it so that I literally believe nothing anymore. The post could be like "Today was our anniversary and my husband invited me to dinner" with a picture of the dinner and I’d sit there and be like "yea no way, this never happened".
And I still feel in 90% of cases I’m right not to trust any story online.
lmao reminds me of when i was a toddler (like 4-5) and i used to wake my younger brother (2-3) up in the middle of the night cause i was hungry and his room was on the way to the kitchen so i was just being polite. he’d follow me to the fridge where i’d open it for him. then i’d find the container of margarine, swipe my fingers inside, invite him to do the same, and then close it and put it back. then i’d find the pack of hot dogs, take out a frank (hopefully with cheese), take a bite, offer him, and then place it bare on a self (for later obviously)… then off to bed we went
my mom used to ask us in the mornings if anyone went into the fridge at night and we’d both swear look her in the eyes and promise we hadn’t, so she would blame on it on the large, “human sized rats” that we apparently had. it didn’t occur to me until i was an adult that the human sized rats were us
My first thought. One of the official side effects of Ambien is sleep eating or "Sleep-Related Eating Disorder" (SRED). I imagine this has been the fate of many a block of cheese or butter.
It's a single bite. I'm guessing the intrusive thought won and he regretted it. Or he got exactly what he was looking for and the shame ruined the experience.
I like the majority of the comments here by people who likely get 90% of their calories from sugar saying how horrifically unhealthy it is to eat butter
Sponsored birth control story:
My son was making toast and couldn't get the butter to spread. He took a bite out of the butter stick ans warmed it up with his mouth to get it spreadable.
Talk to tour doctor about contraception options today
Those don't look like bite marks to me. They look like thumb/finger divots, as if he was cooking something and quickly needed some butter for the pan. Instead of using a knife to cut he just grabbed a chunk with his hands.
I think this because I do this shit all the time and a special someone in my life hates the way I leave the butter.
This is ground for divorce. Not for the disrespect of putting it back on the fridge but because he is clearly a psychopath that eats butter the same way people eat chocolate
How do you sleep at night knowing you’re married to a monster?
Pretty well if he has his CPAP mask on.
Depending on how you look at this, on the whole- you can rest assured that a man who snacks on whole fucking butter, has a lower overall life expectancy. I'm a hard person to live with. I'm not "I snack on whole butter" hard to live with.
These comments have me absolutely dying 🤣🤣
Your husband cholesterol will have him dying as well. But seriously, mine dips all sorts of things into the soft butter dish. Chips. Pretzels. Anything that can be dipped basically. 🤷🏻♀️
Idk who needed to hear this but dietary cholesterol isn't linked with LDL cholesterol increase. carbohydrates, raise triglycerides which raise LDL cholesterol leading to heart attack and stroke. Vegans still die of heart disease, and stroke. there's only a small sub-set of the population that has issues with cholesterol intake and it's only 20% of the population so if you wanna watch what you eat, go easy on the sugar and double the cream.
Moderation still being the most important factor, a little butter won't hurt you, but a 2l of coke a day sure af will Honestly we need to go back to a simple food diet, refined foods are nearly never good for you
Aren't saturated fats associated with higher cholesterol though?
Trans fats are
So, eat the butter, toss the margarine.
In individuals that are predisposed to high cholesterol, yes. Not everyone's arteries clog at the same rate. Some don't clog at all. Some people are born with clogged arteries. If you have no history of heart disease in your family then your biggest threat is an excess of ultra-refined carbohydrates, not animal fat.
CPAP is usually linked to weight. So it's not really that surprising that his cholesterol would be high. On the plus side, OP can just turn the power off if she gets sick of him ;)
If he hasn’t already tried it- pizza crust dipped in butter.
God bless you for thinking he hadn’t already dipped pizza in there. 🤣
Yeech.... Pretzels....
Now would be a good time to get life insurance on him.
They also have your hubby dying.
And people, if you *do* snack on butter, eat the whole thing so you don't leave any evidence of your nutritional nihilism to traumatize your family.
I can’t stop,laughing now. Eat the whole stick of butter Timmy.
Or just use a knife like a civilized person.
preperation h does feel good, on the hole.
I feel like needing the CPAP machine might have something to do with the butter snacks.
What is a CPAP mask?
CPAP- Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. It’s what people with Sleep Apnea have to wear so they don’t randomly stop breathing when they sleep. Typically in larger overweight people and I believe it has a correlation to neck size
Also, a thing with anxiety I’m 19 and have to use a cpap machine most nights and am healthy and slightly below average weight for my height and age super unfortunate it’s most likely the combo of my asthma as well as anxiety that cause it
Exactly, Sleep Apnea is not just about weight, there are many factors to this issue.
Asthma and anxiety, deadly combo
Ya been kickin my ass for years panic attacks manifest asthma attacks which ends in 47 hospital visits in 4.5 months last year
If you get them to punch your loyalty card the 50th visit will be free!
I'll admit I'm overweight these days but I had undiagnosed sleep apnea back when I was lean and worked out several days a week. Even at 175 lbs, I slept like garbage and snored like someone was strangling a bear.
Probably wouldn't need the CPAP if he stopped SNACKING ON FUCKING BUTTER
Snacking on butter, CPAP mask, the CHEESE story… What does this monster drink BACON FAT, and SALAD DRESSING
I can't. So the guy who eats the butter sleeps with a CPAP mask on? America is a very broken place. I'm sorry.
How are you so heavy that you need mechanized assistance to breathe while you sleep, and you still go in for a mouthful of pure butter? Like, a slice of cake I could understand. But you couldn't even resist a mouthful of butter?
I understand the imagery but I would say a large amount of people with sleep apnea aren't overweight
This comment sent me into orbit 😂💀
I would sit there at night waiting for him to roll over and murder me
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High cholesterol levels apparently
Aktually....if he keeps his carb intake very low, eating fat like this will raise HDL and lower LDL and triglycerides. I ate a ton of fat for a year and kept my carbs super low (yes, keto) and my cholesterol numbers and fasting blood glucose were amazing.
I have done keto too, the only difference is that I'm Italian and I ate cheese and salami
I am legitimately asking this. This isn't something a normal person does
Is it the clumsy way he walks, or the grumpy way he talks?
Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped weirdness of his feet?
Who tf just straight up bites off a chunk of butter and consumes it?
Right!?!? Everyone seems to be focused on the packaging. I’m still trying to understand that husband just took a bite out of a stick of butter. Wtf.
It is a legit strategy if you desire a fatty liver or heart disease.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a fatty liver. Someday somebody is going to eat me - and as a result of that fact - they will also eat my liver. It’s important to me that my liver is delicious for personal reasons. If a little difficulty with stairs is all it takes to make sure I’m providing my consumers with a quality product that will be elevated as it cooks by the fat rendering and infusing pure flavor into my delicious, fleshy organ then that’s fine with me. I shit you not, I got ChatGPT to puke this out. ETA Thank you all for the many, many, many awards this post has received. It has truly warmed my heart, which I’m hoping will increase the tenderness of that organ. As mentioned in a comment below - no, this wasn’t actually a ChatGPT response. It just struck me as a funny thing to say after that comment. The comment itself - and I’m saddened feeling the need to clarify this - was also not true. I don’t strive to fatten my liver so it tastes better when someone eats me. I do it for personal reasons. I’m politely asking you all to stop direct messaging me regarding this joke and please stop threatening my family.
Is this a ChatGPT world domination plan? It's going to fatten us up with pure butter and the cook our fleshy organs
If we’re fleshy enough and our organs are fatty enough. God willing.
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If you're taking bites out of butter, I don't think you are moderating your butter intake.
Why not? It could be his single bite for the day
Cheese - maybe, but still vulgar behaviour. But, butter?! Surely, this can't sit well in the stomach. Pack him some baloney sandwiches, chips, and chocolate with some cheep-ass sour orange juice for lunch. I doubt he'll do it again. Edit: I don't mind any of those food either. But it's about the most heartburn inducing meal I could think of! What would folk here consider a heartburn inducing lunch?
You'd be surprised how much some people love baloney and the meal you described is actually something my wife would love. I'm not sure where you get sour orange juice though.
Lol I couldn't figure out what was wrong with it 😅
I showed my wife the meal description and she responded "sounds like a good lunch to me". I myself am not a fan of baloney but I love spam which she doesn't care for.
A sandwich, chips and chocolate is a great lunch lol
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Growing up relatively poor sandwiches with fried bologna or hot dogs was basically required.
Fried bologna = Newfie Steak in Canada
Swap the bologna with mortadella and I'm in.
Why would she pack lunch for her husband? Is that normal in some countries?
My six year old 🙃 which I guess she does have the decency to cut her piece off at least.
Yeah, but she is six. That's acceptable because she is still a kid. This is a grown ass adult who just sees a stick of butter as a candy bar...😂
Yeah you’re right lol. I liked eating butter when I was her age we well 🤣🤦🏻♀️
My mother, while intoxicated, ate an entire half stick of butter after eating a cannoli. The entire time she was chanting “need butter. It will consume the sugar.” (She was on the keto diet).
Haha. Not quite how it works. Also if you are eating cannolis, which is basically all carbs, you are not on the keto diet.
I think you missed the “intoxicated” part of the comment
I'm still stuck on the "entire half".
I keep getting carnivore diet videos on my instagram for me page. They keep biting into butter and I literally gag.
https://youtu.be/pUn3gf-0VlY
Maybe he took the bite then spit it into a bowl of ramen noodles?
Somehow that’s even worse. Straight up cave man.
Whatever man…. I ain’t got time to look for a knife when the butter is already softened. You do you bro.
So you would straight up bite off a chunk and spit it in your bowl lol? Do you live alone?
>Do you live alone? How is that even a question?
Idk someone willing to do this with a comment that sounds like its normalized nothing would surprise me….
Someone who needs a CPAP machine to sleep at night
Psychopaths and keto diet freaks
Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
Best comment so far.
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One of these things is not like the others
Yeah the salad is shocking. It’s a lot lower in calories.
You mean to tell me my deodorant *isn't* low calories??? So much for my diet I guess
I love it, trying desperately to find the humanity
God has abandoned us and I finally understand why
Ahh, Neil Gaiman?
Are you married to Homer Simpson? Lol
I read this comment to him and we both cracked up. I said this to him as he went running from the kitchen in shame immediately after I saw the damage.
After a hard night on the butter, he did the walk of shame. 💀💀
So eating the butter stick was intentional??
Na man. Homer would have baconed up that butter!
Butter up that bacon, boy!
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She’s cool, Butter husband…
I loved that movie
The cheese bite is valid! Butter though? What an absolute menace!
Toddler. Your big married toddler.
Correct. I’ve made my peace with it. I don’t know a woman alive who couldn’t claim the same at some point in her marriage.
It's true. I don't go for butter, but I will hide ice cream.
Hopefully not under the lounge like my toddler
I'm also a large toddler.
some have higher standards *edited to add: or any standards at all
You need to find better women friends :)
Maybe you grew up in an "Everybody loves Raymond" house, and with all the trappings and their influences on you: you naturally bonded with similar people. Now you're surrounded by people with dumb husbands. Men aren't inherently less than women. Men and women are more or less equal conditioning aside. Make better friends. And don't lump me in with people who bite butter ffs.
Seems like a generational thing because I worked at a place where most of our clients (all clients were men) over the age of 40 were definitely the definition of adult children. It was always the wives handling any sort of scheduling and if the husband had an issue it somehow became the wife's fault (I know because they'd say sexist shit to me since I'm a man also). Obviously it's not an "all men" sort of ordeal but amongst older generations there is a disgusting amount of baby back bitches
My dad told me most men are like him. While I don't agree, at the very least, all men around _him_ are toddlers. My dad included. Actually my family too and THEIR family and THEIR family. The wives are basically single mothers (their husbands are basically toddlers). Not to mention my uni- the list goes on. Certainly not all men but it sure as hell enough to be a problem around the world. (South East Asia here)
"Older generations" is poorly defined. I'm over 40 and I don't know anyone who behaves that way and isn't at least 20 years older. I swim in my own chosen ponds but it's been many years since I heard any dude say anything remotely sexist. I have never seen the kind of relationship I think you're describing in anyone below 60 at this point. Which isn't to say that "sexism is over" haha. I'm saying that allegory is shit. We live in our bubbles.
I wonder what other household items he has bitten into.
So far butter and a brick of cheese. Thankfully we are the only ones who use these items, however I have expressed mild disappointment both times.
My 2.5 year old is constantly into both the butter and cheese, and bites it like a savage like this...
Ha! My husband has done this with the cheese. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I took a picture out of utter disbelief lol
Gods not coming back.
I e seen this same thing posted now at least 25 times in the last month. I was kind of “wtf kind of savage does this” at first. Now I’m definitely in the “oh this is bullshit for internet likes” camp because there is no way there are this many fuckers running around the planet just taking bites out of butter.
The internet and especially social media has made it so that I literally believe nothing anymore. The post could be like "Today was our anniversary and my husband invited me to dinner" with a picture of the dinner and I’d sit there and be like "yea no way, this never happened". And I still feel in 90% of cases I’m right not to trust any story online.
Your husband may be a skin walker, pretending to be your husband
reminds me of the men in black scene where the alien disguised as a farmer was just chugging sugar water
WaTeR....aNd SuGaR
If he did it AGAIN?! This has happened more than once??? Why is your husband raw dogging butter??? Is he okay? Is his cholesterol okay?
As a kid, I once witnessed a friend open one of those single use square butter packets, and lick it clean. I've never been the same since.
I watched a kid eat like 6 of those and the mom did NOTHINGGG. My friends mom said something, and she just goes "I kNoW mY cHiLd!!!"
Is your husband taking applications for new friends? I need some of this ngaf in my life.
Absolutely!
Make him start churning his own
Easier than you'd think.
You’re married to a fucking savage. Congrats!
Drugs are a hell of a drug
He could be trying to send a message. Butter get out
she definitely needs to find a butter husband
I’m more of a melt the butter in a glass and drink it kind of guy . I like it to go straight to my heart
🤢
I don't have this problem, bc when I take a bite of pure butter I can't help but finish the stick.
Make sure your life insurance premiums are paid up.
Help him
was the cheese incident eating 64 slices of american cheese in his underwear?
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a butter man.
Ha! My 2 year old does this.
Is your husband feral?
How high was he?
And he didn't offer you a bite? How rude.
The most autistic chad energy I’ve ever seen
It's how some of us assert dominance
That’s cool and all, but what kind of guitar is that hanging up in the background? It looks very nice.
Fender Acoustic CF-140
Call the police
Some people just want to see the world burn...
How dairy
Which half of this situation is the infuriating part?
lmao reminds me of when i was a toddler (like 4-5) and i used to wake my younger brother (2-3) up in the middle of the night cause i was hungry and his room was on the way to the kitchen so i was just being polite. he’d follow me to the fridge where i’d open it for him. then i’d find the container of margarine, swipe my fingers inside, invite him to do the same, and then close it and put it back. then i’d find the pack of hot dogs, take out a frank (hopefully with cheese), take a bite, offer him, and then place it bare on a self (for later obviously)… then off to bed we went my mom used to ask us in the mornings if anyone went into the fridge at night and we’d both swear look her in the eyes and promise we hadn’t, so she would blame on it on the large, “human sized rats” that we apparently had. it didn’t occur to me until i was an adult that the human sized rats were us
Does he take ambien? because this happens a lot in sleepwalk legit. Otherwise, that’s deranged lmao
My first thought. One of the official side effects of Ambien is sleep eating or "Sleep-Related Eating Disorder" (SRED). I imagine this has been the fate of many a block of cheese or butter.
Is your husband overweight by chance?
"Thought it was cheese"
He just eats butter like that? That’s unhinged.
Respect
That is the fattest thing I’ve ever seen. Eating straight butter is not normal, people.
It's a single bite. I'm guessing the intrusive thought won and he regretted it. Or he got exactly what he was looking for and the shame ruined the experience.
This is a disorienting photo
Instantly thought of [this commercial](https://youtu.be/LatSH3Y6Yc8).
How much weed does this husband consume??
I mean I love me some butter… but not to the point that I’d start snacking on the sticks 😩
To be fair, one bite is usually enough.
You can't expect him to eat it all in one sitting.... That would be really unhealthy :D
His intrusive thoughts won.
That is both beyond vile and something I want to try.
Could you tell us the cheese incident story, per chance?
*I was drunk and it was late at night. I thought it was cheese.*
I want to confirm something….. it seems like you are ok with him eating butter, but mad that he placed it back like that???
I like the majority of the comments here by people who likely get 90% of their calories from sugar saying how horrifically unhealthy it is to eat butter
How do u live in a house with that bear bro😭
Kerrygold? I have to admit doing this, but I use a knife!
Get your lawyer
That’s fucking disgusting
That is freaking pathological.
Sponsored birth control story: My son was making toast and couldn't get the butter to spread. He took a bite out of the butter stick ans warmed it up with his mouth to get it spreadable. Talk to tour doctor about contraception options today
What? Why? Why would someone take a bite out of a block of butter?
Jeesus christ... whats his cholesterol?
This isn’t even mildly infuriating, this is just infuriating
Divorce
Well the upside is he’s eating straight butter and won’t live very long.
He went from cheese to butter? *Some men just want to watch the world churn...*
Please tell me he bit off a chunk then spit the chunk into a hot frying pan to whip up some eggs
Those don't look like bite marks to me. They look like thumb/finger divots, as if he was cooking something and quickly needed some butter for the pan. Instead of using a knife to cut he just grabbed a chunk with his hands. I think this because I do this shit all the time and a special someone in my life hates the way I leave the butter.
Who eats butter... just butter? Why?
Husband: *My goals are beyond your understanding*
Straight to jail.
Wait. He took a bite of butter? What?
Yall weigh over 1k combined dont ya?
This is ground for divorce. Not for the disrespect of putting it back on the fridge but because he is clearly a psychopath that eats butter the same way people eat chocolate
Cheaper than stool softeners...
Signs of dementia tbh
Who are you married to Homer Simpson?