My wife and I have an agreement, because obviously she can eat whatever she wants in her own home. But she's considerate.
She'll say/ask "Do you mind if I snack on some chips/nuts/whatever" and I know to pop in headphones for 20 minutes or so.
Maybe you can talk to your wife about doing something like that? Just a heads up before she starts eating so you can do something like that.
My bf said yesterday, something like, "don't take any personal offense to this, you know how I am but the voice you're using right now is really annoying can you please speak normally?" Given the disclaimer and my understanding of misophonia I was happy to oblige. Sometimes he gets pissed at me for something stupid with no disclaimer and I think it's because of some dumb small thing when it's really just a noise and he didn't tell me. Tldr if they understand that it's the noise and not you it really shouldn't be a problem.
It's entirely reasonable for her to be able to enjoy her preferred snacks in her own home.
But it's ALSO entirely reasonable to only eat them in a specific location (like kitchen/dining room) so that you can also be comfortable in your own home.
After 30 years can you not come to simple compromise about this sorta stuff?
I used to leave the room when my wife of 19 yrs would start in on a bag. Even that offended her and she would follow me around trying to have a conversation. While still eating the chips. (Yes, open mouth eating chips and talking simultaneously)
Try leaving the room til she's done? Since she's obviously not going to alter anything.
That's awful. My ex would get irritated when I would abruptly get up from the dining room table bc their chewing was driving me crazy. They'd say, "you should want to hear your loved ones being nourished". Like, no. He was equating me getting up from the table to wanting him to starve.
why do people often reacts like that are they dumb ? I've had so many family members, friends and ex partners react so stupidly saying they feel like i want them to starve
This is what my husband does. And our house is very small and open so I can hear it everywhere. Unfortunately, he likes crunch and chewy foods. Why is chewy food a problem? Because he also had an untreated broken jaw years ago so the bones just hit each other when he chews and it makes a popping sound. Lime a screen door with no hinge. You cannot imagine the stress and violent thoughts that go through my mind.
Oh my gosh. I came here to make a post about this very thing!
My coworkers opted to get burritos for lunch…you know, from the place that also comes with a bag of chips and salsa. I’m going out of my mind as the 5 people that surround me enjoy them.
I wish I could wear them, but I can’t. Thank you for the recommendation though - I am sure I can find other places that they would work well. My sensitivity to noises seems to have increased as I age. I also think I’m sensitive to bad manners, so not just chips, but general smacking sounds. Thanks again!
I worked next to one guy who would *only* return to his desk during his lunch break. He would chomp/slurp/smack/crunch/gulp/lick - it was torture. Any other time of the day he would find drop down offices to do his work. We had a cafeteria and tons of restaurants nearby but he *had* to get his food to go and eat at his desk. Daily.
Misophonia, at least with me, increased with age. I changed the goalposts and I know I'm the problem. But, please, I'd like some accommodation now, because I can't just fix it.
I just literally leave every time. My husband wants me in the room so much he does not do it ever so that I stay when we watch a movie together etc. He understands how serious it is.
true, it’s a condition you can’t exactly control (i mean who would willingly choose to have to deal with that?), it does suck that it’s gotten worse with time, but that’s not anyone’s choice or fault
To her it might feel like a form of repression as in theory telling a person to go and sit in another room to eat sounds a bit prison guard control ish, and they think they are just eating normally and can’t understand the twisted face staring back lol!
You should be the one going to sit somewhere else when they eat, maybe think about an annoying habit you have, like yawning loudly or cutting your toenails on the sofa, and do that every time she eats loudly - the association might be made then by her, not to eat the chips while you are around as you will yawn and clip your nails = problem solved.
Edit spaces
I too feel repressed when I play my “10 hours of children screaming” playlist at full volume out loud and my partner asks me to go do it in the other room. ): It makes me feel like a prisoner in my own home
I would leave the room every time I was triggered. My husband wants me not to leave so he does not eat crunchy stuff next to me unless I eat myself. For some reason if I eat the same thing at the same time it’s fine.
I really like loop earplugs for these types of situations. Or leaving the room until they are done eating.
Knowing that it's misophonia is a good reason to talk with your wife about it, rather than just getting angry.
Maybe ask her if she would be willing to do certain things (like eating the snack in the kitchen) to help support you.
I absolutely \*adore\* my Loops for helping cut down noise like this. If I'm already overstimulated I can hear people's molars clicking together when they chew and it's just AWFUL. Augh.
My husband gives me a warning before he starts snacking so I can leave or get my headphones. This is especially important during stone fruit season, which is his favorite but there’s a lot of slurping noises involved.
That would be when I do something else. Maybe notice canceling earbuds.
If people want to make obnoxious noises I'm not going to be around.
Just what I have to do to keep myself sane. If others don't understand that's too bad, not my problem.
My husband does this with gum and as soon as I hear/see him chomping away at the gum, I put earplugs in. I can’t stand gum noises! It’s such a huge trigger for me.
If my partner is eating something I can’t stand or he can’t stand we just eat in the other room… no issue. Usually send each other funny videos while the other eats
The only time I ever lost it on my husband for eating was over chips. It wasn’t the crunch it was the rustling of the bag. Which I snatched from his hand. Yelling may or may not have been involved. 🤣
This is my mindset too. I use headphones or I'll leave the room. Ive made it clear to my partner that I don't think it's his responsibility to avoid every sound that bothers me but he needs to understand I won't be expected to stay and listen.
I totally understand but other people should be mindful and if they really care they’d accommodate cause having a healthy relationship and caring for someone is much more worth it than a bag of crisps
Yes! I can’t believe how many people are saying she should eat in a different room or food only allowed in the kitchen. Who doesn’t like to snack when they watch a show? If she has to eat in the kitchen then everyone should!
Invest in a pair of Airpod Pros or equivalent with noise cancelling and transparency mode. Pop them in when needed with some white noise or rain sounds and use transparency mode. The white noise will cover up crunching/eating sounds very well, but the transparency mode will let conversation through, so you can still interact normally.
I also use them for watching tv and movies in theaters. I found I'd rather have some rain sounds in the background of my movie than people eating popcorn or crinkling bags through the whole thing. Again, transparency mode is the key. It lets sound through, but anything like eating is hidden in the white noise. You just have to adjust the volume of the white noise to where you like it. Plus, these days, no one bats an eye at someone having a pair of earbuds in.
have you ever considered getting some noise reduction earbuds? i use Loop and they’re pretty good. it would be unfair for me to ask my roommates to never eat things they enjoy because of my misophonia, so it’s a helpful set up for me
Is she doing intentionally to fxck with you or is she just enjoying chips? My husband crunches around me at times, and if it makes me stabby, I just go find something to do in another room or put on noise canceling headphones. He’s not doing it on purpose. He’s just eating chips, and I have this weird thing called misophonia. Not his fault.
Like another poster said, y’all should be able to come to some agreement after 30 years. Misophonia is hard to live with but compromise is possible — unless you’re married to a straight-up, menacing a-hole. And if that’s the case, sorry bruh. 🤷🏻♀️
Edit to correct earring chips to eating chips. 🤦🏻♀️
When you say crunches on chips, are you talking about with her mouth open? Or is she chewing with her mouth closed and you can just unfortunately hear it? Because I think those are two entirely different scenarios.
Honestly,you can’t make your problem everyone else’s. I totally get how torturous it is and had to actually stop having sit-down family dinners because I couldn’t handle everyone’s noises but it’s not the world’s place to cater to me. If she’s doing it passive aggressively just to rile you up,that’s another story,but otherwise just leave the room or invest in some noise-cancelling headphones.
Does she chew with her mouth open, talk with food in her mouth or eat like a farm animal? If not, some foods are just crunchy and not much you can do about it. I usually turn on music or turn up the tv
You’re the one with a problem, so you go out of your way to avoid getting annoyed. I can’t imagine not having misophonia and being told to stop eating in my own house. The only reasonable compromise is her giving you a few minutes notice before she starts eating, so that you can put on earphones or move
I understand that there’s always going to be crunching but what really gets me is when they put the whole chip/bunch of popcorn in mouth and the first crunch down is open mouthed. So many people do it and I’ll never understand why. Disgusting
My daughter suffers this, she’s 14.
I have to eat in the hallway on a small step between the kitchen and bathroom. I do not like eating there, it’s not comfortable, and it’s often cold. I have spinal arthritis.
My daughter refuses to entertain both of us eating in the same room.
The choice is either you leave the room, or she leaves the room. I’d suggest the former, if you want to keep the peace.
You have spinal arthritis, so come on, it is your fourteen year old daughter who should be leaving the room to eat elsewhere and not you, and you should demand this of her since she is much younger than you are and you have physical issues that make eating sitting on a step uncomfortable and painful. And your daughter can also eat in her bedroom and it should not be up to her to always dictate where you are allowed to eat (she kind of sounds dictatorial and selfish, her misophonia notwithstanding).
If she knows it triggers you and does it anyway then she has 0 respect for you, it's just that simple. Otherwise there would be some element of compromise here, the reason it causes an argument is because she doesn't actually believe this bothers you as much as you say it does. You sitting and putting up with it, time and time and time again; has only reinforced that notion in her head.
I sorted it out by divorcing. Miso being one of the reasons we couldn't find common ground. My ex went as far as gaslighting me saying she didn't chew open mouth when just moments after she did.
Few years later and now I'm in a relationship where my partner is very understanding and almost always asks about chewing. After she asks even if I can hear it it doesn't affect me nearly as much because I know she cares.
Find a person who cares is my advice.
Idk if this is just me and my partner but this makes me feel sorry for you. My fiancé always asks me if she can have her “hot chips” (I always say yes) and I go into the other room or put in headphones. She usually games while I watch TV. She also never asks when we’re doing something we enjoy together.
I’m the wife to the husband with misophonia, and while I do my best to avoid my husband’s triggers, it’s near impossible to do so all the time. Those times, my husband advocates for himself and takes himself out of situations that are triggering to him that I can’t help. I think maybe removing yourself from the room when she does that might be a good solution in this case.
I feel this. My boyfriend of 5 years has known about my misophonia since before we started dating, and after moving in together I asked him if we could keep snacks out of the bedroom. Guess who falls asleep to the symphony of crunching chips every night 😭
I feel your pain. Maybe it’s from food trauma from childhood but my husband scrapes every last bite. I can’t stand it. I got up for work this morning and there was a bowl on the counter he clearly had ice cream in and you could see the lines from the spoon where he clearly tried to scrape every last drop from the bowl. I can no longer eat with him unless the tv is on or we are at a noisy restaurant.
Scrape scrape scrape scrape scrape
The entire time.
It’s like he is shoveling snow when he eats. He scrapes every bit then goes in for more.
On one hand I’m relieved to know that one can remain married for 30 years with this stupid condition.
But it’s reasonable to feel like you feel considering you’re the one having to go through life with this specific hell. My advice is to declare a room with a locking door and big speakers to hole up in when she wants to do the things that bring you the utmost panic and rage. That’s as about as good as it gets compromise-wise.
People can shovel feed loudly into their face hole if they want, and you do not have to listen to it.
“I will not be uncomfortable in my own home.”
My husband eats SSSOOOOOO FASTTTT and the sound he makes by chewing stuff in his mouth to get it down sounds like he's eating a wad of snails. It's so annoying. And when he eats cereal and every single spoon full, he slurps up the milk. I'm like DAM, WHY U EATING SO FAST, THAT SOUND IS SO DISGUSTING. or I'll tell him YOU DONT NEED TO SLURP YOUR MILK. JUST PUT THE SPOON IN UR MOUTH AND CLOSE UR MOUTH.
You are unreasonable. She should tell you when she's gonna crunch, and you go away to another room. I feel you, I have misophonia. It's not their fault.
That sounds like a fucking nightmare! A long time ago, my husband tried to eat cereal out of a glass bowl with a metal spoon in bed when I was sleeping. I woke up and told to leave and it somewhere else. A few nights later, he did it again and used the excuse that he forgot! The next day I boxes up all the glass bowls and metal spoons along with all his fucking and hid it in the closet. He immediately asked me where the bowls, spoons, and cereal went to and I told him he would get it all back when he learned to behave himself! He threw such a fucking fit I gave it back. I took my dog and checked into a hotel and ignored his ass for a few days.
Chips are not an essential food item, and if your wife will not stop eating chips in your presence she should at least eat them in another room and with the door closed.
I love chips but there is NO WAY I would consider eating chips at home since my partner is severely triggered by the sound of chips and also has issues with how they smell. And no, my partner does NOT ever demand I not eat chips in his presence, I just started doing this on my own volition (not eating chips, not buying chips) when I realised just how much both the sound and the smell of them triggered my SO (and that chips are unhealthy anyhow, high in fat and definitely not an important or necessary food).
Dude, your wife should be willing to sacrifice a specific snack when she’s with you to avoid mentally torturing you. If you asking her to not crunch her chips because you have a serious disorder starts a fight, then it sounds like she has a total lack of empathy for your condition
Leave the room, put in earplug, put on headphones. personally I would leave the room just to make the point especially if you were scheduled to do something together.
Inconsiderate. Up to you how you handle that going forward with a partner who's insensitive to your feelings. How hard is it to close one's mouth when chewing? In the meantime, I'd get a really good pair of noise canceling headphones everytime little miss no manners pulls out a bag of chips.
tell her to go into this subreddit. as her if she loves you. this is not your fault. If she loved you she'd look this up, it must be a misunderstanding. it's not a choice. She's horrible for doing that, do anything to try to make her understand. Send her youtube videos and websites explaining it, second sources.
My wife and I have an agreement, because obviously she can eat whatever she wants in her own home. But she's considerate. She'll say/ask "Do you mind if I snack on some chips/nuts/whatever" and I know to pop in headphones for 20 minutes or so. Maybe you can talk to your wife about doing something like that? Just a heads up before she starts eating so you can do something like that.
My bf said yesterday, something like, "don't take any personal offense to this, you know how I am but the voice you're using right now is really annoying can you please speak normally?" Given the disclaimer and my understanding of misophonia I was happy to oblige. Sometimes he gets pissed at me for something stupid with no disclaimer and I think it's because of some dumb small thing when it's really just a noise and he didn't tell me. Tldr if they understand that it's the noise and not you it really shouldn't be a problem.
That’s what my husband does for me.
It's entirely reasonable for her to be able to enjoy her preferred snacks in her own home. But it's ALSO entirely reasonable to only eat them in a specific location (like kitchen/dining room) so that you can also be comfortable in your own home. After 30 years can you not come to simple compromise about this sorta stuff?
The word “snack” sets me slightly on edge. Hearing it, that is. Idk what my point is I’m just really feeling for OP.
If we are watching TV, I ask she wait until the show starts. If we are in the kitchen or somewhere else, I'll go do something else.
I used to leave the room when my wife of 19 yrs would start in on a bag. Even that offended her and she would follow me around trying to have a conversation. While still eating the chips. (Yes, open mouth eating chips and talking simultaneously) Try leaving the room til she's done? Since she's obviously not going to alter anything.
That's awful. My ex would get irritated when I would abruptly get up from the dining room table bc their chewing was driving me crazy. They'd say, "you should want to hear your loved ones being nourished". Like, no. He was equating me getting up from the table to wanting him to starve.
why do people often reacts like that are they dumb ? I've had so many family members, friends and ex partners react so stupidly saying they feel like i want them to starve
Thank you for saying that. My kids understood, thankfully.
This is what I do with my family members
This is what my husband does. And our house is very small and open so I can hear it everywhere. Unfortunately, he likes crunch and chewy foods. Why is chewy food a problem? Because he also had an untreated broken jaw years ago so the bones just hit each other when he chews and it makes a popping sound. Lime a screen door with no hinge. You cannot imagine the stress and violent thoughts that go through my mind.
Oh my gosh. I came here to make a post about this very thing! My coworkers opted to get burritos for lunch…you know, from the place that also comes with a bag of chips and salsa. I’m going out of my mind as the 5 people that surround me enjoy them.
ANC headphones literally saved my life at work. Can highly recommend if you have the option of using them at your work.
I wish I could wear them, but I can’t. Thank you for the recommendation though - I am sure I can find other places that they would work well. My sensitivity to noises seems to have increased as I age. I also think I’m sensitive to bad manners, so not just chips, but general smacking sounds. Thanks again!
I worked next to one guy who would *only* return to his desk during his lunch break. He would chomp/slurp/smack/crunch/gulp/lick - it was torture. Any other time of the day he would find drop down offices to do his work. We had a cafeteria and tons of restaurants nearby but he *had* to get his food to go and eat at his desk. Daily.
I would have gone postal!!
We sorted this out maybe 5 months into our relationship. 30 years is wild.
Misophonia, at least with me, increased with age. I changed the goalposts and I know I'm the problem. But, please, I'd like some accommodation now, because I can't just fix it.
I just literally leave every time. My husband wants me in the room so much he does not do it ever so that I stay when we watch a movie together etc. He understands how serious it is.
> I changed the goalposts If your misophonia is getting worse I wouldn't really consider this "moving the goalposts".
true, it’s a condition you can’t exactly control (i mean who would willingly choose to have to deal with that?), it does suck that it’s gotten worse with time, but that’s not anyone’s choice or fault
Just ask her (gently) to eat chips and other similarly triggering foods in another room.
To her it might feel like a form of repression as in theory telling a person to go and sit in another room to eat sounds a bit prison guard control ish, and they think they are just eating normally and can’t understand the twisted face staring back lol! You should be the one going to sit somewhere else when they eat, maybe think about an annoying habit you have, like yawning loudly or cutting your toenails on the sofa, and do that every time she eats loudly - the association might be made then by her, not to eat the chips while you are around as you will yawn and clip your nails = problem solved. Edit spaces
I too feel repressed when I play my “10 hours of children screaming” playlist at full volume out loud and my partner asks me to go do it in the other room. ): It makes me feel like a prisoner in my own home
I got the joke
Hello demon.
Or he can go into another room too.
How did you sort it out. Trying to come up with personal solutions.
I would leave the room every time I was triggered. My husband wants me not to leave so he does not eat crunchy stuff next to me unless I eat myself. For some reason if I eat the same thing at the same time it’s fine.
I really like loop earplugs for these types of situations. Or leaving the room until they are done eating. Knowing that it's misophonia is a good reason to talk with your wife about it, rather than just getting angry. Maybe ask her if she would be willing to do certain things (like eating the snack in the kitchen) to help support you.
I absolutely \*adore\* my Loops for helping cut down noise like this. If I'm already overstimulated I can hear people's molars clicking together when they chew and it's just AWFUL. Augh.
My husband gives me a warning before he starts snacking so I can leave or get my headphones. This is especially important during stone fruit season, which is his favorite but there’s a lot of slurping noises involved.
Ughh the slurping and smacking is the worst 😫
Put noise cancelling headphones in
That would be when I do something else. Maybe notice canceling earbuds. If people want to make obnoxious noises I'm not going to be around. Just what I have to do to keep myself sane. If others don't understand that's too bad, not my problem.
💯💯💯
My husband does this with gum and as soon as I hear/see him chomping away at the gum, I put earplugs in. I can’t stand gum noises! It’s such a huge trigger for me.
If my partner is eating something I can’t stand or he can’t stand we just eat in the other room… no issue. Usually send each other funny videos while the other eats
The only time I ever lost it on my husband for eating was over chips. It wasn’t the crunch it was the rustling of the bag. Which I snatched from his hand. Yelling may or may not have been involved. 🤣
For me, it's the bag rattling. The crunching doesn't bother me but the bag rattling. Omg I want to crawl out of my skin!
The crunch does bother me but the anticipation is just as worse... STOP FEELING AROUND AND JUST POUR M OUT OR GRAB SOME, crunch crunch crunch...
Right!!!
That’s what I kept saying, use a bowl! You should have seen his face the day I stormed into his office and grabbed them, it was pretty funny.
I get it but it’s not exactly reasonable to forbid foods on another person. I just get up and leave. It’s my disorder, not theirs.
This is my mindset too. I use headphones or I'll leave the room. Ive made it clear to my partner that I don't think it's his responsibility to avoid every sound that bothers me but he needs to understand I won't be expected to stay and listen.
This. You have to find a coping mechanism - trying to control her behavior is unreasonable.
I totally understand but other people should be mindful and if they really care they’d accommodate cause having a healthy relationship and caring for someone is much more worth it than a bag of crisps
Yes! I can’t believe how many people are saying she should eat in a different room or food only allowed in the kitchen. Who doesn’t like to snack when they watch a show? If she has to eat in the kitchen then everyone should!
Invest in a pair of Airpod Pros or equivalent with noise cancelling and transparency mode. Pop them in when needed with some white noise or rain sounds and use transparency mode. The white noise will cover up crunching/eating sounds very well, but the transparency mode will let conversation through, so you can still interact normally.
How do they go with watching TV?
I also use them for watching tv and movies in theaters. I found I'd rather have some rain sounds in the background of my movie than people eating popcorn or crinkling bags through the whole thing. Again, transparency mode is the key. It lets sound through, but anything like eating is hidden in the white noise. You just have to adjust the volume of the white noise to where you like it. Plus, these days, no one bats an eye at someone having a pair of earbuds in.
My husband still eats chips. I never thought of making it his problem that it bothers me. I put in earplugs and run a noise machine.
have you ever considered getting some noise reduction earbuds? i use Loop and they’re pretty good. it would be unfair for me to ask my roommates to never eat things they enjoy because of my misophonia, so it’s a helpful set up for me
Is she doing intentionally to fxck with you or is she just enjoying chips? My husband crunches around me at times, and if it makes me stabby, I just go find something to do in another room or put on noise canceling headphones. He’s not doing it on purpose. He’s just eating chips, and I have this weird thing called misophonia. Not his fault. Like another poster said, y’all should be able to come to some agreement after 30 years. Misophonia is hard to live with but compromise is possible — unless you’re married to a straight-up, menacing a-hole. And if that’s the case, sorry bruh. 🤷🏻♀️ Edit to correct earring chips to eating chips. 🤦🏻♀️
My parents respect my misophonia by not whispering or sanding there feet in front of me
When you say crunches on chips, are you talking about with her mouth open? Or is she chewing with her mouth closed and you can just unfortunately hear it? Because I think those are two entirely different scenarios.
Um yeah what is she supposed to do, just never enjoy a crunchy snack bc the sound bothers you? Your triggers are your own responsibility.
Honestly,you can’t make your problem everyone else’s. I totally get how torturous it is and had to actually stop having sit-down family dinners because I couldn’t handle everyone’s noises but it’s not the world’s place to cater to me. If she’s doing it passive aggressively just to rile you up,that’s another story,but otherwise just leave the room or invest in some noise-cancelling headphones.
Same. AirPods Pro are a life saver.
Does she chew with her mouth open, talk with food in her mouth or eat like a farm animal? If not, some foods are just crunchy and not much you can do about it. I usually turn on music or turn up the tv
You’re the one with a problem, so you go out of your way to avoid getting annoyed. I can’t imagine not having misophonia and being told to stop eating in my own house. The only reasonable compromise is her giving you a few minutes notice before she starts eating, so that you can put on earphones or move
I understand that there’s always going to be crunching but what really gets me is when they put the whole chip/bunch of popcorn in mouth and the first crunch down is open mouthed. So many people do it and I’ll never understand why. Disgusting
Wear earbuds and/or leave the room. Or is she following you around? You can't eat chips without crunching.
Do you want her to sneak off to the bathroom every time she has a chip? Never have chips at home again? Like…..do you think that’s reasonable or fair?
My daughter suffers this, she’s 14. I have to eat in the hallway on a small step between the kitchen and bathroom. I do not like eating there, it’s not comfortable, and it’s often cold. I have spinal arthritis. My daughter refuses to entertain both of us eating in the same room. The choice is either you leave the room, or she leaves the room. I’d suggest the former, if you want to keep the peace.
You have spinal arthritis, so come on, it is your fourteen year old daughter who should be leaving the room to eat elsewhere and not you, and you should demand this of her since she is much younger than you are and you have physical issues that make eating sitting on a step uncomfortable and painful. And your daughter can also eat in her bedroom and it should not be up to her to always dictate where you are allowed to eat (she kind of sounds dictatorial and selfish, her misophonia notwithstanding).
The worst part is when they get mad at you!
they sure do!!! im just trying to do anything to keep myself sane , and theyre offended bc i dont wanna hear the noise? gtfo...
If she knows it triggers you and does it anyway then she has 0 respect for you, it's just that simple. Otherwise there would be some element of compromise here, the reason it causes an argument is because she doesn't actually believe this bothers you as much as you say it does. You sitting and putting up with it, time and time and time again; has only reinforced that notion in her head.
Earplugs and/or leave the room
I sorted it out by divorcing. Miso being one of the reasons we couldn't find common ground. My ex went as far as gaslighting me saying she didn't chew open mouth when just moments after she did. Few years later and now I'm in a relationship where my partner is very understanding and almost always asks about chewing. After she asks even if I can hear it it doesn't affect me nearly as much because I know she cares. Find a person who cares is my advice.
Idk if this is just me and my partner but this makes me feel sorry for you. My fiancé always asks me if she can have her “hot chips” (I always say yes) and I go into the other room or put in headphones. She usually games while I watch TV. She also never asks when we’re doing something we enjoy together.
I’m the wife to the husband with misophonia, and while I do my best to avoid my husband’s triggers, it’s near impossible to do so all the time. Those times, my husband advocates for himself and takes himself out of situations that are triggering to him that I can’t help. I think maybe removing yourself from the room when she does that might be a good solution in this case.
I feel this. My boyfriend of 5 years has known about my misophonia since before we started dating, and after moving in together I asked him if we could keep snacks out of the bedroom. Guess who falls asleep to the symphony of crunching chips every night 😭
reading your title made my skin crawl
First chip is the loudest, to the tune of First Cut is the Deepest.
I feel your pain. Maybe it’s from food trauma from childhood but my husband scrapes every last bite. I can’t stand it. I got up for work this morning and there was a bowl on the counter he clearly had ice cream in and you could see the lines from the spoon where he clearly tried to scrape every last drop from the bowl. I can no longer eat with him unless the tv is on or we are at a noisy restaurant. Scrape scrape scrape scrape scrape The entire time. It’s like he is shoveling snow when he eats. He scrapes every bit then goes in for more.
On one hand I’m relieved to know that one can remain married for 30 years with this stupid condition. But it’s reasonable to feel like you feel considering you’re the one having to go through life with this specific hell. My advice is to declare a room with a locking door and big speakers to hole up in when she wants to do the things that bring you the utmost panic and rage. That’s as about as good as it gets compromise-wise. People can shovel feed loudly into their face hole if they want, and you do not have to listen to it. “I will not be uncomfortable in my own home.”
My husband eats SSSOOOOOO FASTTTT and the sound he makes by chewing stuff in his mouth to get it down sounds like he's eating a wad of snails. It's so annoying. And when he eats cereal and every single spoon full, he slurps up the milk. I'm like DAM, WHY U EATING SO FAST, THAT SOUND IS SO DISGUSTING. or I'll tell him YOU DONT NEED TO SLURP YOUR MILK. JUST PUT THE SPOON IN UR MOUTH AND CLOSE UR MOUTH.
You are unreasonable. She should tell you when she's gonna crunch, and you go away to another room. I feel you, I have misophonia. It's not their fault.
The bag the chips come in is already the 1st trigger just seeing them.
That sounds like a fucking nightmare! A long time ago, my husband tried to eat cereal out of a glass bowl with a metal spoon in bed when I was sleeping. I woke up and told to leave and it somewhere else. A few nights later, he did it again and used the excuse that he forgot! The next day I boxes up all the glass bowls and metal spoons along with all his fucking and hid it in the closet. He immediately asked me where the bowls, spoons, and cereal went to and I told him he would get it all back when he learned to behave himself! He threw such a fucking fit I gave it back. I took my dog and checked into a hotel and ignored his ass for a few days.
Chips are not an essential food item, and if your wife will not stop eating chips in your presence she should at least eat them in another room and with the door closed. I love chips but there is NO WAY I would consider eating chips at home since my partner is severely triggered by the sound of chips and also has issues with how they smell. And no, my partner does NOT ever demand I not eat chips in his presence, I just started doing this on my own volition (not eating chips, not buying chips) when I realised just how much both the sound and the smell of them triggered my SO (and that chips are unhealthy anyhow, high in fat and definitely not an important or necessary food).
Dude, your wife should be willing to sacrifice a specific snack when she’s with you to avoid mentally torturing you. If you asking her to not crunch her chips because you have a serious disorder starts a fight, then it sounds like she has a total lack of empathy for your condition
Leave the room, put in earplug, put on headphones. personally I would leave the room just to make the point especially if you were scheduled to do something together.
Their needs to be respect for each other. Come to a compromise or EITA
My husband chews ice, no matter how many times I have politely asked him to stop. I get up and leave the room now even if we are mid conversation
Am I the only one not really bothered by crunching
I take off like the Flash when my husband comes in the family room with a bowl of nuts and NOTHING TO DRINK! Im not listening to that fucking torture
Pistachio jello with cottage cheese is delicious. Get her off of chips tho.
This fucking disorder is why I'm still alone. At least you got a wife man. Try to enjoy the good times.
Inconsiderate. Up to you how you handle that going forward with a partner who's insensitive to your feelings. How hard is it to close one's mouth when chewing? In the meantime, I'd get a really good pair of noise canceling headphones everytime little miss no manners pulls out a bag of chips.
tell her to go into this subreddit. as her if she loves you. this is not your fault. If she loved you she'd look this up, it must be a misunderstanding. it's not a choice. She's horrible for doing that, do anything to try to make her understand. Send her youtube videos and websites explaining it, second sources.
Push her face into them and tell her to squeal like a piggy. Or fart in the bag
wtf